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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25622854">It's Complicated</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcedRoses/pseuds/IcedRoses'>IcedRoses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's Complicated [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftercare, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Biting, Blood and Injury, Boss/Employee Relationship, Choking, Comfort, Consensual Kink, Daddy Kink, Death Threats, Dirty Jokes, Dirty Talk, Drunk Geoff Ramsey, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhibitionism, Explicit Consent, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I love coffee okay, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Exhibitionism, Injury Recovery, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Light Masochism, Mild Painplay, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ownership, POV First Person, Passion, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Sexual Content, Sexual Roleplay, Sexual Tension, Threesome - F/M/M, Wholesome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:14:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>329,200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25622854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcedRoses/pseuds/IcedRoses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name) although I try to avoid using that where possible. You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. Set in mid-2014 onwards. Fluffy Geoff Ramsey with an edge and dominant Ryan Haywood with a softer side. You end up dating both of them. Written in first-person.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>Edit as of 13/10/20 - Please read Chapter 30 titled 'Interlude' with regards to the 'situation'. At the beginning of Chapter 31 in the notes at the top, I detail how I'm going to handle writing this fic going forward from the supportive feedback recieved. ♥ </b></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Everyone Else Is With Their Real Partners, Geoff Ramsey/Reader, Ryan Haywood/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's Complicated [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Breathe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m re-watching their older Minecraft/other videos and got a little inspired to write this. I’ve also seen a lot of their more recent stuff, particularly their ‘Between The Games’ series of shorts where they all just muck about like prats in the funniest ways. I totally recommend watching them for a giggle!</p><p>Also my first ever fic in years and also here! Hopefully everyone enjoys. :)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You have a fear of thunderstorms - pretty standard. What you’re not prepared for is how supportive your boss is about it. Nor the complications of just exactly what he's involved with.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Hot, fresh coffee with milk and sugar; there was nothing quite like it first thing after waking up, especially on a cold windy morning. I’d pined for it the second I’d opened my eyes and with a hot drink in my hand, slowly, I began to come off of autopilot and back into reality as my stomach growled for breakfast. My walk to work had been an uninteresting one; it was very blustery and there was a fallen tree near where I lived, forcing me to divert, but while this didn’t take that much more time it did represent the damage the winds and rain had already done during the hours of the night.</p><p>I usually heard Gavin before I saw him and this morning was no exception. Nothing quite beat this morning, however.</p><p>“Letttttt’s play!” Came the British man’s shout as the door was pretty much slammed open, making me jump in my seat. I really should be more used to him by now, but it was early and I was not generally a morning person. Added to this was how easy I was to make jump, something which the guys had used against me for laugh many a time.</p><p>I rested the back of my hand to my coffee mug hopefully as I smiled at him bemusedly, but it was still too hot to drink. Still, I couldn’t help noting how windswept he’d become just from the car to the building.</p><p>“Today’s gonna be so good, it really is,” he babbled, putting down his bag and switching on his Xbox at the desk diagonally across from me. “Geoff, Kerry and I have been working on this for weeks and I got up early to make sure it was totally done.”</p><p>“Did you really?” I asked, surprised.</p><p>With a roll of his eyes, Geoff nodded as he followed him into the room, flopping down into his computer chair beside me and opening up his email immediately. “He really did. And I would’ve helped him, if it hadn’t been dicks’ o’ clock in the morning. He was up at four A.M.” Despite his words, there was no acidity or malice there. As always, it was clear that no matter how annoying and childlike Gavin could be, Geoff viewed him like family. In a way, we all did.</p><p>“Bet you appreciated that, early bird,” I teased him, watching his tattoo-covered hands fly across his keyboard in response to something.</p><p>“Yeah, I fuckin’ did not,” he sighed. “But we did work hard on this.”</p><p>Half an hour later, we were all ready and waiting to play after having gotten our captures set up, our consoles loaded and our software and equipment synced properly. Gavin could barely get his words out to explain clearly due to his excitement so Geoff wound up doing it instead, as we all stared through our Minecraft characters’ eyes at what on earth they’d created.</p><p>And it was pretty spectacular. In the deep ocean, they had built what looked like a huge Tower Of Pimps that lay on its side, made out of wool. The inside was hollow and devoid of water apparently, but was also maze-like and was just dark enough to spawn enemy mobs. The game was a race to get from the ‘obsidian’ end to the last ‘gold’ block top without dying, which would result in respawning back in the entrance room before the first section.</p><p>“How in the hell did you build that so far underwater?” I asked incredulously.</p><p>“I drowned a lot,” Gavin grinned. “Which happened for a while before Geoff let me turn on creative mode. I wanted to deck him!”</p><p>The corner of Geoff’s mouth lifted in amusement. “Yeah, it’s underwater because we thought you guys all possibly drowning would be fun.”</p><p>“This is fucking massive!” Michael remarked as Geoff descended down first to show us where the entrance was.</p><p>“Thaaat’s what she saaaaid,” Ray made the obvious joke from behind me, while Michael and Gavin sniggered.</p><p>We all barely made it without drowning apart from Gavin, who hesitated too long and spawned back in Achievement city, prompting Geoff to teleport him back amongst the laughter of the rest of the group.</p><p>“Alright well now that Gavin’s died already like a fuckin’ idiot...” Michael remarked, opening chests in the starting room right before the first of the five maze sections as Ray did the same, looking for roses.</p><p>I opened a chest next to me and removed a stone sword. “Can I take this?”</p><p>“Yeah, you can, you’re allowed one stone sword to get through the maze to fight,” Geoff instructed. “Everybody grab a fuckin’ sword. By the way, err, just so you all know, Gavin, Kerry I built the shells of the blocks but only Kerry and I did the mazes, so  Gavin doesn’t know his way around any better than the rest of you and that’s why I’m not playing.”</p><p>“Alright,” commented Ryan.</p><p>“Jack’s got two swords!” Gavin accused immediately, in his whiniest voice.</p><p>“Okay?” Ryan turned and raised an eyebrow at him in real life. “It’s not like he can dual-wield them.”</p><p>Jack laughed. “No I don’t, why would I take two swords?”</p><p>“Yeah but, but it’s not fair though is it?” Gavin insisted, ignoring Jack’s reply.</p><p>“It literally makes no fucking difference, Gavin,” Michael snapped, clicking on a bed to sleep in it. “Everyone needs to set their spawn point down here.”</p><p>Agreeing, I slept in a bed too and Geoff said something along the lines of, “Yeah, good idea.” Before also setting his spawn point. Ryan and Jack followed suit.</p><p>“This is probably an obvious ‘no’, but I need to ask…” Ryan began, a smirk on his lips. “I’m guessing we can’t break anything to get through?”</p><p>Geoff and Michael both jumped to reply to him with a resounding, predicted ‘no’ as Jack groaned about him being infamous for trying to find loopholes and winning via other not-so-legit methods. I however, quite liked his thinking a lot of the time.</p><p>“How about,” I added, “if a creeper blows a hole in the maze. Is that okay?”</p><p>Geoff blinked at me incredulously. “Well yeah, because it’s a creeper. They blow up. What d’you want me to goddamn do about it?”</p><p>“Even if you kite them to do it in your favour to blow up somewhere specific?” I pushed, whilst Ryan chuckled in approval from the other side of Jack.</p><p>“Team Loophole over there,” Ray grinned, waving his in-game red rose around after having found the stack that he’d been left in a chest.</p><p>Slightly exasperated, Geoff just shook his head. “Look, just don’t be assholes. No killing each other and that includes kiting enemies to other players. It’s just a race to the finish, okay? Winner gets the Tower Of Pimps,” Geoff said firmly. “On your marks, get set- goooo!”</p><p>We all crashed through the starting door into the first section and for the most part went in different directions. The massive block we were in was purely black wool, only lit up by redstone torches and the occasional glowstone block so navigation was going to be an issue from the get-go.</p><p>“Man it’s dark as fuck in here,” Michael grumbled as we all bumbled our way around the maze. Despite all having our brightness up high in-game and on our monitors to a point, he was not wrong – it was very difficult to see where to go in the mass of black wool and darkness.</p><p>It only took a few minutes for the first incident to happen. Gavin let out a shriek that sounded like a wounded bird and the message ‘Gavin was slain by a Zombie’ popped up on everyone’s screens.</p><p>I rounded a corner and came up against an Enderman, but averted my eyes and stared at the floor to avoid aggravating him, taking rights constantly until I hit a dead end.</p><p>“Oh shit, a skeleton...” Ryan muttered, pressing his controller buttons furiously all of a sudden. “No you fucker, I’m not even that far in!”</p><p>“So, uhm,” Gavin sheepishly chuckled as he respawned. “I forgot to sleep.”</p><p>“You idiot, where are you?” Geoff asked.</p><p>“...back in Achievement City, across the map.”</p><p>“Fuckin’ sleep in a bed this time, dickhead,” Geoff sighed, teleporting Gavin back into the small starting room.</p><p>The game continued for some time, with various deaths here and there and much laughter and frustration from nearly all. Jack was quietly doing very well, methodically having reached the last section, Ryan and Michael close behind. I was trailing a little, with Gavin and Ray nearby.</p><p>“I’ve gotta say, this is gonna be close,” Geoff announced, watching everyone’s progress by flying over the top of the maze and looking down upon us all competing.</p><p>I took exactly the wrong moment to take a sip of coffee and got blown up by a creeper that snuck up behind me like a green ninja. Without armour, we were all pretty much sitting ducks to the countless enemies spawning in the low light levels.</p><p>“Fuckkk!” I yelled, getting sent back to the beginning.</p><p>“Well, there goes [Y/N],” Michael laughed.</p><p>“Wait, did that just blow a hole in- OH GOD!” Ray screeched as water began to flood the section he and Gavin were still in.</p><p>“Oh, who put this lovely water feature here in the middle of the Let’s Play?” Gavin joked, glancing at me across the room. “Look at you, prettying the place up!”</p><p>“Shut up Gav,” I replied, trying to speedily get through the first few sections again to regain progress. Unfortunately it was just as much of a maze the second time as it was the first.</p><p>“Why won’t this fucking Enderman leave me ALONE?” Yelled Michael, who could almost taste victory in the last section of the maze.</p><p>“He loves you,” Ray replied immediately. “He probably wants to fuck you.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ,” muttered Jack with an amused laugh.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Michael swung his stone sword to try to kill the teleporting Enderman. “I wish he’d take me to fucking dinner first, fucking asshole. NOOO!”</p><p>He’d died. Jack was now the only person close to winning, but he was seemingly going around circles now and making very little progress. There was a slight pause before Gavin suddenly piped up with one of his usual ridiculous questions for the group.</p><p>“What do you think having sex with an Enderman would be like?”</p><p>Ryan snorted into his diet coke. “Not pleasant, I imagine.”</p><p>“I can think of other things I’d rather fuck,” Geoff smirked, his eyes very briefly flicking my way, causing me to do a slight double-take and lose my focus for a minute.  </p><p>
  <em>Did he just- did he just imply-</em>
</p><p>My screen suddenly read, ‘You Died!’</p><p>“God dammit!” I put my controller down on the desk. “Again! Well now I’m not winning. Jack’s so far ahead.”</p><p>“You can still try,” Jack suggested supportively from my left. “I’m pretty lost, you might catch up.”</p><p>“How much would you need to be paid for an Enderman to suck your dick? Or...lick you out?” Gavin adjusted the question for me with a snigger, as an afterthought.</p><p>“Fucking hell Gavin,” Michael groaned. “Too much. I wouldn’t. With that mouth? Ugh!”</p><p>“Yeah but they can open their mouths really wide!” Gavin laughed.</p><p>“Hm, so they’d be the only being to have no trouble with Ryan then,” I added, completely unable to help myself.</p><p>Ryan chuckled. “I mean...I don’t think how wide you can open your mouth is really the only thing that qualifies you to be good at oral sex.”</p><p>Michael began to laugh uncontrollably. “Yeah, when was the last time you were turned on by a crocodile?”</p><p>Sheepishly and a little defensively but clearly amused too, Gavin shrugged. “Never, Michael, funnily enough.”</p><p>“How fucked up do you have to be though,” Michael continued, “like, how much alcohol would that fucking require to get with an Enderman?”</p><p>“So much,” Geoff replied firmly. “Please can we stop having this god damned fuckin’ conversation?”</p><p>“Like…all of it?” Gavin inquired, referring to the alcohol amount his boss would need in his system to copulate with an insane, scary, lanky monster from a videogame. Or possibly a crocodile.</p><p>“All of the alcohol? Yes,” Geoff nodded. “Now shut up.”</p><p>“You don’t pay me to shut up,” Gavin smirked defiantly.</p><p>Very suddenly, we were all staring at black screens, the lights shutting off along with the power. The emergency lighting flickered briefly before illuminating the room in a much dimmer capacity. Elsewhere in the building, they could hear distant sounds of dismay and shouts but other than that, there was a sudden, fairly eerie silence.</p><p>“Fuck my ass dude, the power’s out!” Geoff scowled.</p><p>“I was so close to winning though!” Jack moaned, dropping his controller in annoyance. Michael let out quite a guttural sound at the prospect of losing so much progress as Gavin questioned whether they all really had just lost all of the recordings and gameplay footage.</p><p>This had happened once before a few years ago, but unfortunately, they had no idea the storm today was going to be quite as bad as to cause power outages. In the quiet room now, the rain beating against the office building was more obvious, the sounds of the winds howling more noticeable. The abrupt and loud clap of thunder made me jump, something which the guys were quick to notice.</p><p>“Are you scared of storms?” Ray asked curiously.</p><p>“Yeah, a little,” I replied, not meeting their eyes. We had all turned our chairs around to face into the room and each other, rather than our computer monitors and equipment.</p><p>“Well, I’m going home,” Gavin said decisively, sounding fed-up. “Geoff, can you drive me?” He added as an afterthought, because they lived together and he had no other of way of getting home otherwise. What a spoon.</p><p>Geoff had been subtly watching me ever since I had jumped at the thunder, but now he looked around the room at everyone seemingly moving from their seats. “Oh no you’re all fuckin’ not, it’s stormy as dicks out there. I’m not having you all go out and get yourselves killed on your way home like idiots. And no Gavin, we’re staying here.”</p><p>“So what are we meant to do Geoff?” Michael asked confrontationally. “Sit on our asses and wait?”</p><p>“It won’t be that long,” Geoff countered, before Jack added,</p><p>“I hope not.”</p><p>Another clap of thunder struck and rumbled and I curled up in my chair, bringing my knees to my chest. There had been storms before while I’d been at work and at home of course, but the big difference was that here, it was either drowned out by us all gaming or I was so distracted it didn’t freak me out. At home, I’d put on some headphones with my favourite playlists and try to go to sleep so I wouldn’t hear it happening. It was currently far too quiet and all I could hear my heart beating out of my chest as I squeezed my fists, my fingernails digging into my palms.</p><p>“Okay, I’m going to use my laptop until it dies until the power comes back.” Ryan reached for his equipment, unplugging the now useless cable and turning the screen brightness down to conserve battery.</p><p>“I’m going to talk to Lindsay,” Michael shrugged. “Maybe we can watch  the lightning out the window or something.”</p><p>I’ve never understood the people who enjoy storms, the kind where mother nature sounds so angry that it’s as though the thunder could destroy a city with its rumbling threat and flashes of bright, forked lightning. It makes me feel so powerless, like it’s reminding me of how little we, as humans, actually are. And it set my nerves right on edge, fraying them one by one with each drove of rain against the windows.</p><p>“We had so many other videos to record today!” Ray stated, removing his headphones from around his neck and rummaging around in his bag.</p><p>“We just gotta wait, dude,” Jack shrugged.</p><p>“[Y/N], can I talk to you for a minute?” Geoff asked me, leaving the room and indicating that I follow.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>He didn’t stop outside the office room like I thought he would though, he kept walking right the way down the corridor to the end and to the left, where there was a messy storage room full of electronic bits and bobs, along with some people’s possessions, some props, posters and small statues relating to their place of work. The room, being enclosed by the building, had no windows and therefore was almost entirely pitch dark with the door open. Curiously, I had trailed after him.</p><p>“What the hell-“</p><p>“Just trust me.”</p><p>I blinked, gazing into his warm blue eyes before hesitantly following him into the darkened room, my heart thumping from the combination of the thunder-induced anxiety and being in a small room, alone with Geoff. There was a brief moment where neither of us said a word, before he closed the door with a click and left us in total darkness.</p><p>It was as though the rest of the world had been shut out. I was in no way afraid of the dark or small spaces, often finding it sort of comforting at home to sit in a darkened room and just sort of almost meditate when I was feeling upset, panicky or out of control with my life in general, and all I needed now was my headphones and my iPod shuffle. Which were back in my bag in the office. Balls.</p><p>The thunder sounded a little more distant now and with no windows to see the flashes of lightning any more, I already felt slightly calmer, but it was still roaring and my chest was still pounding. And then suddenly, I was aware of Geoff stepping closer to me and felt his warm arms slide firmly around my waist as he placed himself right behind me, resting his chin on my left shoulder a little.</p><p>My heart rate increased significantly.</p><p>“Breathe slowly,” he whispered, his breath on my neck doing nothing to help me do just that. “You’re shaking a little bit.”</p><p>As soon as he pointed this out, I made a conscious effort to try to stop, but I couldn’t help myself from tilting my head a little to the side to expose more of my neck to him. I felt him pause for a few seconds, before he did exactly what I’d hoped he would – he began to slowly pepper my neck with surprisingly soft, gentle little kisses.</p><p>“Geoff, I-“</p><p>“Shhhhh...you’re safe. Focus on your breathing.”</p><p>And truly, I felt it. His strong arms were keeping me feeling grounded, his kisses distracting my mind from the storm, his faint scent of cologne mixed with something else that might have been whatever he’d washed with in the shower that morning had me taking deep breaths of calm and closing my eyes. The storm raged on outside but I was protected, cocooned in this tiny inky black room with someone who I’d liked a whole lot since day one of working here.</p><p>Starting to lose sense of time the longer we stood there, I found my mind beginning to wander just slightly. Clearly, without ever having seriously told me before, he liked me too. He was a massive flirt casually but I’d always taken that with a pinch of salt, considering he did the same thing with other people too. Plus, those moments where he would smile at only me, make a cute joke about my needing a hug because I’d lost a Let’s Play and making the odd dirty joke were things I quite enjoyed, no matter how tantalising. That was the general atmosphere of working here, though, and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world because he was far from the only one to do that and some of the time, they would entirely jokingly flirt with one another for a laugh.</p><p>“So...do you do this for all the guys that work here?” I asked quietly, humour in my voice.</p><p>I felt him smile against my neck. “Only Gavin when he’s being a baby. And Ryan when he threatens me. And Michael when he asks-“</p><p>Unable to help myself, I laughed. “Okay, I get it. Just me.”</p><p>Another pause, during which time he stroked across my midriff softly with his thumb. Immediate goosebumps.</p><p>“You okay?” he murmured.</p><p>I met his hands with my own, placing mine over his and slightly leaning back into him. “This is the calmest I’ve ever felt.”</p><p>Geoff chuckled softly, his breath still tickling my neck deliciously. “Well, I guess I’ve done a good job then. Your heart’s still beating a little fast though.”</p><p>In the pitch darkness, I blushed, glad he wasn’t able to see. I decided to tempt fate a little bit and replied, “That might have something to do with how sexy you are.”</p><p>“Well, well, well, am I really?” Geoff hummed, nibbling my earlobe now and causing me to almost lose my ability to remain standing. “Coincidently, you are cute as fuck too.”</p><p>My blush deepened as I made a brave decision that was far more ballsy than I ever would have made in a brightly-lit room - I turned myself around in his arms to face him and leaned to kiss him on the mouth, finding his soft lips easily. Within seconds, he was kissing me back with passion, his hands roaming down the sides of my body slowly like he was trying to feel every part of me. I felt him step forward, forcing me to step back until he was pressing me up against the wall, one of his hands finding its way into my hair, stroking through it, the other hand roaming a little bit staying mostly around my waist. And in that moment, despite him being my boss, despite him being nearly twice my age, despite us having discussed nothing leading up to doing this, I wanted him. Badly.</p><p>My hands reached for the hem of his t-shirt, fully intent upon lifting it up and off.</p><p>A couple of loud banging noises that were completely unrelated to the storm rattled off outside, accompanied by shouting and cheering, but it startled us enough to stop. Geoff, his body still against mine and sounding a little out of breath, muttered, “What the fuck are those cocksuckers doing to the office now?” causing me to giggle a little.</p><p>“Maybe we should check,” I breathed, half-hoping he wouldn’t agree with me. I was torn, because on one hand this was irreversibly complicating a work relationship and friendship, but on the other hand…he was hot as hell. But also, we were in a closet. And yet, he was so caring and sweet. But we were at work, on office premises. I could almost picture my two inner selves, angel and demon on my shoulders, fighting it out.</p><p>Another sharp thump, like something marble-like hitting a wall a few rooms away.</p><p>“We should, I guess,” Geoff replied, sounding reluctant as he backed up and carefully navigated his way through the room to the door, before yanking it open. We both squinted in the light as our eyes adjusted but he didn’t move for a few seconds, watching me with a wicked smirk as I slowly stepped towards the door and him. “But I want you to know that if I had my way, I wouldn’t have stopped there.”</p><p>I bit my lip, just looking up slightly and into his eyes. “Really?” My heart thudded hard as I watched and waited for his response.</p><p>“Definitely not,” he replied, with such certainty that I wondered whether I should be offended. The only problem was that I had never intended to say no or resist in any way whatsoever and I think he knew that full well. “I feel like I should ask you to dinner first though.”</p><p>I knew that he could cook very well from past dinner parties (which was really far too posh of a term for us all converging on Geoff’s house, expecting him to feed us and then us all playing video games all night long for fun, rather than for views). It was probably the only reason that Gavin had survived whilst he lived with him, being reluctant to use much more than a toaster and a microwave. Still, that was better than Ray who literally ate so many takeaways that I wasn’t sure how he stayed so slim. It was pretty unfair really; I only had to look at a pizza and I gained a pound.</p><p>But wait-</p><p>“What about Gavin?”</p><p>Geoff scratched the back of his head and smiled. “He lives in a separate part of the house. He’ll be there for dinner but if we explain…”</p><p>“Explain what?”</p><p>“That we want some time alone.”</p><p>He said it so simply that my mouth hung open a little. How did he expect Gavin to leave us alone with that excuse? He’d become immediately suspicious for sure. And yet, I wasn’t overly worried; Gavin was a sweetheart that wouldn’t – intentionally – hurt a fly. Maybe if I told him not to tell the rest of the group, he wouldn’t. Not yet anyway. Not until I knew what the hell this was.</p><p>“Fair enough,” I answered, giving his hand a little squeeze before another thud rang out from a few doors down.</p><p>“They’re gonna break the fuckin’ wall if they don’t stop with their bullshit-“ Geoff groaned, rolling his eyes and striding towards our office, with me right behind, trying to straighten and flatten my shirt and hair a bit with my hands.</p><p>I can safely say that the result of the noise was not a disappointment. As we stood in the office doorway, Geoff doubled over with his infectious, adorable laughter at the scene and I just stared in bemusement. Gavin was doing a handstand up against the wall with his mouth hanging wide open, while Ray, Ryan, Jack and Michael aimed and attempted to throw various different sweets and small candy pieces into his mouth. They were mostly hitting his face, chest and arms, but a few were going in at least. They seemed to be using all sorts, but most commonly small multicoloured gumballs that would occasionally hit the wall behind him.</p><p>“Wait, I need chewing time!” Gavin giggled as Ryan underarm-threw another sweet, hitting his cheek. “RYAN, give me a minute!”</p><p>“Sorry, you’re just so fun to throw things at,” Ryan laughed, reaching for another candy.</p><p>“Jesus,” Jack laughed. “Poor Gavin.”</p><p>As Geoff and I re-joined the room, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. With the grin on his face from messing about with his friends, the way that he could barely even throw properly due to laughing and the corners of his eyes crinkling in the cutest way whilst he tossed a tattooed hand full of sweets right at poor Gavin’s face with a gleeful, “Catch, motherfucker!”, I realised that I was way past crushing on him. This was way more than that. I was in big trouble.</p><p>What I didn’t realise in that moment was that someone else’s eyes were on me too.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Intrigue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. Set around mid-2014. I honestly try to write them as in-character as I can, whilst stretching slightly to fit the needs of this fic, obviously.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The week continued, with the storm calming down significantly. Geoff had discreetly texted me ‘Dinner Friday?’ to which I’d replied ‘absolutely’. I wondered if he was going to give Gavin a heads up or just spring it all on him, but I figured the former might be a little kinder and made a mental note to ask Geoff about it at some point in private.</p><p>We had replayed the underwater sideways tower maze (which wound up being dubbed ‘Ocean Pimp Maze’) over two days and eventually re-recorded everything we had lost. It was fortunate really that everyone still found the maze challenging on the second play through, because it made it more entertaining to watch, but Jack was unhappy because Michael won this time and proudly held the mini tower in real life, situated on his desk and in-game, placed outside of his house.</p><p>Today though, I noticed that Geoff seemed to be a lot more tired than usual. A smile wasn’t so quick to come to his lips and his eyes were sleepy-looking while he tried to coordinate us in the game. He was also far more reliant on coffee than usual.</p><p>“Hey, do me a favour and shut the fuck up while I explain this to you guys,” Geoff sighed at the group; all of us were bickering over various silly things at the beginning of today’s Let’s Play Minecraft. Sometimes I really admired his patience because he usually kept talking regardless and if we didn’t listen, that was our problem. To him, if he’d explained, he’d done his job. To be fair though, the group did somewhat quieten a little. “Today we’re going to do something a bit different. Y’all know how we’ve done challenges like the Reading Room and Dropping List before, where you had to kill things to collect points and so on?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, that was fun,” Ray commented. “Are we doing that again?”</p><p>“Not quite,” Geoff trailed, as everyone loaded into the Minecraft world of Achievement City. “Today you guys – and me, because I technically have no advantage – are going to be culling every animal you can find in all of Achievement City. And I know we’ve done this before but it needs doing again.”</p><p>“I’ve got a question,” Michael piped up. “Why?”</p><p>“Good question, Michael, thank you,” Geoff smiled. “The world’s limit on animals has been reached again and it won’t let us place any more spawn eggs or breed anything until we do something about it, so err…this is now a Let’s Play! There is a diamond sword for each of you in your chests.”</p><p>“Are any animals off-limit, Geoff?” Gavin asked curiously. “Are there ‘safe’ animals?”</p><p>Geoff thought for a moment. “No.”</p><p>“Hey, you all stay away from Edgar!” Ryan made clear right away, knowing that the first thing that was going to happen was that we were all going to run into his house first and slay his cow.</p><p>“Well, he’s…I mean technically he’s like a pet,” Geoff said thoughtfully, back-peddling a little. “Should we save pets, like the wolves Gavin and I had?”</p><p>“He’s less of a pet Geoff, and more of a prisoner…we should kill everything,” Michael said very firmly, knowing it would provoke a controversial response. “How do we know who wins, though?”</p><p>“Uh…honour system. Keep count of what you kill. Everything is one point,” Geoff replied. “Even if I didn’t play too I couldn’t keep track of all you guys anyway so just don’t lie. I trust you all. Mostly.”</p><p>“Don’t lie, got it,” Jack repeated with a chuckle.</p><p>“Okay, we’re going for an hour so…time starts now I guess. Everybody get to killing,” Geoff announced.</p><p>Seated at my desk in between Geoff and Jack as usual, I heard Gavin and Michael immediately forming an alliance behind me in their usual way with ‘Team Nice Dynamite’. And their first mission was to destroy Edgar to ‘free him’. Naturally, they donned their diamond swords but were wearing nothing else to protect themselves as they charged into Ryan’s house, intent on breaking the glass in the ground.</p><p>“Hey Ryan, you want some backup?” I asked him, grabbing my diamond sword from the chest in my little hut of a house. “Team Loophole?”</p><p>“You’re gonna team up with the mad king?” Michael asked, sounding disbelieving.</p><p>Ray said quietly, “Don’t do it, he’ll betray you.”</p><p>Ignoring the two lads, Ryan smiled from his position behind his laptop screen, across the room. “Sure. Why not.” And so the first thing I wound up doing was helping him to protect a cow from everyone else, which was both ridiculous and hilarious in equal measures.</p><p>“God dammit!” Michael cursed as I killed him for the fourth time while Ryan killed Gavin too, right afterwards. “This is taking too much damn time, I’m going to look somewhere else.”</p><p>“No, Micoo! We have to save him!” Gavin whined, but he also eventually gave up and went elsewhere to find other animals too after he realised that running solo at the pair of us was suicide.</p><p>“You don’t get points for killing each other,” Geoff felt the need to state after observing all of this, a little bemused. “You can if you want but it won’t help you win. We’re also saving after this, so don’t fuck up the world, okay?”</p><p>We all murmured in agreement and went about our separate ways, including Ryan and I. I noticed that Michael and Gavin were still sticking together, but I wasn’t sure what good that would do considering the fact that you couldn’t ‘share’ a kill. Someone had to have the last hit, so how were the pair of them going to argue that out?</p><p>“Well, so far I’ve found nothing,” Ray stated after a few more minutes, sounding utterly neutral.</p><p>“Seriously?” Jack asked. “I’ve found like five things already while those lot were fighting!”</p><p>“Well, fuck me then I guess.” Ray’s blunt sense of humour never failed to amuse the room.</p><p>As time went on, Gavin curiously asked if anyone had ever eaten a penny by accident, to which all of us said no except Michael, who said he couldn’t remember but he’d probably done something like that as a young child. It wasn’t until five minutes later that we all established that Gavin had meant in your adult life, like, last week.</p><p>“How drunk were you to eat money?” Ryan asked in slight disgust.</p><p>“About half,” Gavin replied, very non-descriptively.</p><p>“Half what?” Jack questioned him. “Halfway drunk?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Was it a bet?” Ryan sussed it out.</p><p>“Yeah, I won ten dollars,” Gavin grinned.</p><p>“Cool. Did you eat that too?” Michael joked, as Gavin flicked a small rolled up ball of paper at him in real life.</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“Money is so dirty, though, ugh,” Geoff grimaced.</p><p>“It really is,” Jack agreed, finding two chickens and dispatching them immediately. “You couldn’t pay me to put money in my mouth, even for more money.”</p><p>There was quiet for a while as we all kept our manual individual kill counts. Mine was written on my little notepad in front of my keyboard and I was at twelve.</p><p>“So, how’s everybody doing?” Gavin asked the room. “Found any animals yet Ray?”</p><p>“I found a pig by The Altar,” Ray replied, referring to the Altar Of Pimps. “We had a good time.”</p><p>“I’m sure the pig didn’t, Ray,” I pointed out.</p><p>“Well. I don’t know. Didn’t ask him. Had a nice spit-roast instead.”</p><p>I put my face in my hands laughing as I waited for the reaction to that little comment. Sure enough, the guys did not let me down.</p><p>“God, I love a good spit-roast,” Geoff sighed, genuinely thinking about food in relation to pork.</p><p>“Yeah you do,” Gavin chuckled with a dirty little smile, not thinking of food at all.</p><p>“Gavin, come on,” Michael snickered. “Stop.”</p><p>“They’re pretty good though,” Ryan added, deliberately not specifying which kind he was talking about. I leaned back in my chair to look at him past Jack, needing to read him as he sat at his temporary desk in front of the white leather sofa that he sat comfortably on. “You’ve gotta like who you’re sharing the meal with though.”</p><p>He was only making it worse. Gavin was unable to stop giggling like a schoolboy and even Jack had given in to laughing. Although amused, Geoff shook his head a little with a resigned, “Fuckin’ twisted bastard.”</p><p>Ryan was hard to read at the best of times, but the smirk he was wearing even whilst staring at his monitor was undeniable and irresistible in the sense that I needed to join in with his fun of making everybody uncomfortable because it was fun, right in this moment.</p><p>“They are awesome,” I agreed plainly, “but trust is important.”</p><p>I swear nobody said anything for a full ten seconds as I, full of glee, took in the responses of each of them. Geoff gaped at me, Ryan raised an eyebrow at me, Jack lowered his head to his desk to rest his face on it out of being one hundred percent done with this conversation (complete with a little mutter of “oh God”), Gavin let out a shocked “What?!”, Ray said absolutely nothing and simply stared at me and Michael laughed a little nervously.</p><p>“Trust is a big deal, yeah,” Ryan added. He finally, after a few seconds of me trying to catch his eyes, looked at me directly. There was something unfamiliar there and even though I had never seen Ryan as more than an objectively handsome good friend before, I was suddenly experiencing a very different feeling altogether toward him as I read curiosity on his expression.</p><p>“Fucking hell you two, get a fuckin’ room,” Michael snorted, causing me to look back at my game abruptly.</p><p>“I think we’re gonna have to edit this entire conversation out of the video,” Gavin laughed, running a hand through his light brown hair and clutching his chest, which hurt from laughing. “Nobody did anything interesting during this did they?”</p><p>“Nah, not really,” Ray replied straight away. “Well, I found a red rose, but…”</p><p>“I mean, I killed a chicken, but the audience won’t notice or keep count, right?” Michael asked.</p><p>“Even if they do, so what?” Jack shrugged. “Just put some ‘technical difficulties’ music over the top.”</p><p>“I mean, we did all kind of have technical difficulties with Ryan and [Y/N] just now, so that kind of works actually,” Gavin sniggered.</p><p>“Nah, it’s fine,” Geoff nodded, making the executive decision, as boss. “Not at all fuckin’ subtle but it was funny,” he laughed, smiling at me with his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee while Jack questioned Michael on how they were keeping their scores whilst they were ‘working together’; it turned out they were just taking it in turns to kill, alternating when they found something new, figuring that the two of them would find animals faster than separately.</p><p>More than once had I wandered past Ryan in-game, who curiously always seemed to be holding wheat and I became too curious to resist asking him what approach he was taking.</p><p>“What are you doing, Ryan?” I asked inquisitively.</p><p>“Breeding cows.”</p><p>“Oh my God, Ryan!” Michael exclaimed. “So we’re all out here slaughtering animals while you add more to the world?”</p><p>“You’re all gonna pay for murdering Edgar,” Ryan answered smugly, to my surprise. Who and when had someone crept back into his house to kill the caged cow? “I don’t even know who it was so I’m screwing you all.”</p><p>“What the fuck, Ryan?!” Gavin facepalmed.</p><p>“Wait, how is it letting him breed them if the limit’s been reached?” Michael questioned, confused.</p><p>“Because we’ve been killing stuff…freeing up ‘slots’ for him to breed more,” I said slowly, figuring it out.</p><p>“So…he’s playing us, is what you’re saying,” Ray summed up. “He’s waiting for us to kill stuff so he can breed more stuff.”</p><p>Ryan let out a playfully evil laugh. “You can’t stop the Mad King!”</p><p>“Is that allowed, Geoff?” Michael demanded. “He’s not even using it to win, just to fuck us all over so that there’s still the same amount of animals in the world at the end!”</p><p>“I am using it to win though,” Ryan explained. “You’re assuming I’m letting them all live. I’m breeding them and then culling the herd, so I’m still amassing kills, just not in the same way you all are.”</p><p>“Jesus fucking Christ, Ryan,” Jack said, for probably the fifth time today.</p><p>“That’s pretty psycho, dude,” Michael shrugged.</p><p>“Verdict, Geoff?” Gavin prompted.</p><p>“I’m gonna allow it,” Geoff smirked. “Honestly, it’s a strategy. Any one of you guys could’ve done that too. I never said you specifically had to find all of the animals you kill to get your points. And sometimes I just wanna watch the world burn.”</p><p>“Yeah but that defeats the spirit of it, right?” Michael argued.</p><p>“The point is to go out and kill all the animals, not breed some and then kill them and repeat. Ryan isn’t helping to cull the actual population at all!” Finished Gavin.</p><p>Even though he was getting double-teamed by Team Nice Dynamite, Geoff did not give in and stuck firm with his ruling, which amused me because whether or not Geoff would let Ryan get away with bullshit loopholes usually depended on the day and mood he was in at the time. Tomorrow Geoff probably would have said ‘fuck no’ and disqualified him. But today, Ryan had been granted the ‘okay’ for his decidedly cunning approach.</p><p>“Alright, I’m building a house,” Jack stated, amused but sounding a little defeated. “We’re saving, so I’d rather spend time doing that than entertaining Ryan.”</p><p>He made the right decision; with Ryan’s solid though slightly dubious strategy, he won the Tower Of Pimps by an absolute landslide. He’d concocted such a reliable ‘killing points farm’ system that nobody else relying on the random chance of finding animals in the wild could possibly compete.</p><p>“I almost feel a little bad,” Ryan laughed, erecting the tower upon his block of obsidian with glee, which rather ruined the sheepish effect he was clearly going for.</p><p>“Don’t,” Michael shrugged. “Well done, I wish I’d thought of it. And I guess we did accomplish killing a fair amount of animals in the world between the rest of us.”</p><p>“Well yeah, I suppose,” Gavin conceded. “Have you replaced Edgar?”</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Ryan replied, nodding. “About five minutes after you murdered him.”</p><p>Gavin burst out laughing. “How did you know it was me?”</p><p>“It’s always you, Gav!” I grinned, as he shrugged in defeat.</p><p>“Nice victory, Ryan Haywood!” Geoff grinned, tossing him the real tiny desktop tower in real life, causing both Jack and I to duck almost comically in our seats.</p><p>“Let’s stop!” Ray yelled, which was cue for us all to go to lunch considering the time it was, basically. I stopped my capture, made sure to save my footage and then backed out of Minecraft, leaving my computer on for after lunch. On my way out of the office door, jacket on and bag slung over my shoulder, I noticed Ryan’s eyes following me, though I didn’t let on to him that I noticed.</p><p>The afternoon would see Gavin versus Ray in Achievement Hunter’s VS series and the rest of us always sat in to commentate. Not only that, but it was pretty much always super enjoyable. I was very glad that I wasn’t going to be the one to edit the Versus series pretty much ever, as it seemed like a general nightmare to edit and in my opinion, honestly? The editors didn’t ever get enough credit for their hard work. But it was a very fun, casual laid-back (even more-so than usual) experience.</p><p>It went hilariously, with Gavin managing to break his pop filter with his hand somehow, while Ray thrashed him in an obscure arcade game that he’d picked to challenge the current reigning belt champion. As Geoff pointed out charismatically for the camera – held by Lindsay as she filmed the room – there probably literally isn’t a game that Ray ‘hasn’t played at some point on some account’. We were all hovering about with our wired mics removed from our mic stands on our desks, getting in each other’s way but trying our best not to get in Lindsay’s way as we spectated, yelled and cheered. The belt was awarded to Ray, who proudly donned it immediately.</p><p>Home that evening meant that the slow-cooker I’d had hotpot in for hours had switched itself on automatically and cooked whilst I was at work, meaning I now had a lovely beef stew for dinner. As I settled down on the sofa with a bowl of it and switched on Netflix, I pressed play on one of my favourite shows. Relaxing in the evenings was great; there was no camera to be aware of, no constant internal push to be commentating, no sound levels or video to keep track of…I could just watch and let my brain almost go to sleep. As much as I adored working at Achievement Hunter/Rooster Teeth, sometimes the audience didn’t realise quite how much work it actually was, due to only seeing the end content results.</p><p>Pausing briefly to go wash up my bowl after a couple of show episodes, I returned to my trusty blanket-coated sofa, wrapped myself up in it and resumed my show. Half an hour later, my phone buzzed from my bag near the front door. Groaning at having to move again, I retrieved it and checked messages. I had several.</p><p>The first was from Geoff, asking me if I was alright with explaining the situation to Gavin, who wouldn’t tell anyone, or would I prefer to wait until dinner. I replied that honestly, it was up to him; he had known Gavin for much longer (and had also lived with him for years now) that I figured it would be best. I got another text back after telling Geoff this, which basically said, <em>‘I’ll tell him tonight. If he tells a soul I’ll punch his dick into next week.’</em> I did not doubt it.</p><p>The next message was from Lindsay, which made me smile, because she had sent me a funny meme of a cat. Dutifully, as was our system, I sent her a different one back with a thumbs up emoji. The final message was from Ryan, who didn’t usually text me on a regular basis. It wasn’t as though he never had before, but it was unusual when it happened.</p><p>
  <em>‘Interesting sharing from you today.’</em>
</p><p>I stifled a giggle and texted back that I found it funny at the time to join in and cause a reaction for the laughs.</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t think that’s the whole truth.’</em>
</p><p>Tilting my head to the side, I frowned at my screen. What did that mean? He didn’t believe I was saying it just for fun? The truth was that I had been, but now I wondered if he genuinely thought I had been in that sexual position. My text in reply was essentially asking him why he thought that. Already this was more than Ryan and I had texted each other in probably the last few months. His reply back took its time.</p><p>
  <em>‘You seemed to like the idea.’</em>
</p><p>It wasn’t a question, I noticed immediately. I could almost see his smug smile through my phone screen as I fidgeted, wondering what the hell to text back to that, coming to the conclusion that keeping it casual would be the best idea. <em>‘I never thought in depth before but I guess.’</em></p><p>The next text took five minutes to come back to me. At this point I was absolutely not focusing on anything to do with my TV show and was just holding my phone, my heart thudding and my palms sweating slightly as I repeatedly checked for new messages. Taking a moment to take a deep breath, I reminded myself that how I was reacting was stupid; this was just Ryan. Rye-bread.</p><p>My phone buzzed. I wiped my hands on my jeans before checking my phone again.</p><p>
  <em>‘Interesting. What else?’</em>
</p><p>That took five minutes? I rolled my eyes in slight frustration but then focused on what he was asking. He wanted to know about what I was into? That was a little…odd, to say the least. What did I go for, honesty or sarcastic humour? Something told me that he wasn’t asking to get a jokey answer though.</p><p>In all my life, I’d never had too many boyfriends. I’d had one serious relationship, but he had broken my heart a few years ago before I joined Achievement Hunter. That had taken an extremely long time to get over. The shorter, far less serious ones were few and far between to be honest, amounting my sexual experience to a very boring, probably below-average level. So I told him, the truth. <em>‘Not had more than vanilla sex. IDK...spanking?’ </em>It was short and…well not so much sweet. I wondered why I was feeling such a thrill right now at telling him this and tried to supress it, reasoning to myself.</p><p><em>‘I can work with that. I’ll see you tomorrow. ;)’ </em>Came his reply, a few minutes later.</p><p>My phone dropped to my sofa and I wondered what the hell I had just done. Was this a practical joke, or something? Was this going to be a thing all the guys were going to find out? Oh god. Breathe. Remember to breathe. Ryan would never do that. I felt the need to text him once more, just to feel a little better. <em>‘Don't repeat any of this.’</em></p><p>The fastest reply so far came back a mere minute later; <em>‘Our secret.’ </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to make totally clear here that I do not condone cheating and never have. I am writing this in a way where this won’t happen, I promise. Also, Dinner is the next part. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. Set around mid-2014. You have dinner at your boss’ house after an interesting day. God, I love writing Ryan like this. Sorry-not-sorry tbh.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Smut warning for towards the end of the chapter.</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>I was a little more nervous that morning than I usually ever would be making coffee in the kitchen area. Normally, I was still half-asleep and trying desperately to wake up to be in any way entertaining for recordings and shoots that day, but currently my nerves were so on-edge that I wasn’t even sure what to do with myself. I fidgeted from one foot to the other as if I needed to pee, but then stopped because that’s also what it would look like to someone else and I didn’t actually need the toilet. Running a hand through my hair agitatedly, I poured the freshly-brewed coffee into my mug and inhaled. The smell of coffee is awesome (even to someone like me, who likes it sweetened and creamy to the max). I can still appreciate the delicious aroma of great, freshly-made coffee despite this.</p>
<p>“Morning, thought I might find you here,” grinned Jack, who began to prepare a breakfast bun from fresh bread I’d brought in and his own bacon he’d been keeping in the fridge. “I feel like today’s recordings are gonna be good, for some reason.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” I said, half-truthfully. I wanted it to be good, but if my nerves got in the way any more than they were already, I was going to have to hide in the bathroom or something for ten minutes to calm down first. Or maybe a storage room. With Geoff. That had somewhat calmed me down, until it had almost turned into something else altogether. But in two totally different ways mashed together it had been amazing, albeit far too short. His way of being able to calm me down completely from my anxiety and make me feel grounded was incredibly sweet and the kisses on my neck and lips still flashed through my mind regularly.</p>
<p>“What’re you smiling at?” Jack pried, having noticed me drift off into the clouds in my head just now.</p>
<p>My eyes flickered back to him. “Oh, nothing. Y’know what though? That smells good. Share?” This was more of a joke than anything, because it would deflect him for sure and I knew he didn’t share food.</p>
<p>“Nope. But I will make you one of your own.” He began to pluck more bacon out to fry.</p>
<p>“What a gentleman,” I beamed. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>Because Jack usually spent time eating before he entered the office – Geoff wasn’t usually a fan of bringing hot food into the room, with good reason – and I had eaten quicker without getting some fresh air outside on the benches, I had the room to myself for a while. It was around twenty-past eight in the morning and I was swivelling from side to side in my chair slowly, clenching and unclenching my hands and then realising that I could probably do a bit of Twitter while I waited for the others. I didn’t need to have gotten here so early, but to be totally honest I was so weirdly unable to sit still at home that I’d given myself no other choice than to come into the office. A combination of the date with Geoff tonight and Ryan’s texts from the previous night had my mind reeling so much it was a wonder I got any sleep whatsoever.</p>
<p>Absorbed in replying to a couple of tweets, I vaguely heard the door unclick, open and then shut, but for some reason my mind automatically decided that it was Jack because I’d most recently seen him. In hindsight this was silly; most of the guys were probably near to or already in the building.</p>
<p>My chair tipped back a tiny bit as someone leaned on the back of it lightly, scaring me half to death. It slanted my sitting position only slightly but it had caught me completely off-guard, like when you miss a step on the stairs and your heart flies into your throat.</p>
<p>“Morning,” Ryan greeted me, with a bright smile. “Sorry I made you jump,” he said, with the kind of lilt to his voice to indicate that he wasn’t sorry at all.</p>
<p>Slightly flustered, I resorted to trying to continue to reply to tweets and act as casually as possible. “Hey Ryan, It’s fine. Stop messing with my chair.”</p>
<p>“Something’s got you all jittery today, huh?” He tucked a strand of hair out of my face and around my ear lightly which made me go very still while he completely ignored my demand.</p>
<p>I could hear the teasing in his voice, the attempt to wind me up and make me retaliate. It was all in good fun I presumed, but it felt far more intimate than anything he’d done before, though I was biased heavily by the texting from last night. The only way that I could deal with this right here in this environment was to either stall or make humour. I picked up my coffee to give myself some time and an excuse not to say anything or look round at him. He hadn’t moved an inch.</p>
<p>“It’s cute that I make you nervous,“ Ryan replied lightly, leaning down a little so that his lips were right next to my ear and quietened his voice a little. “So tell me: where did you and Geoff go during that thunderstorm the other day?”</p>
<p>The question caught me so totally off-guard that I honestly nearly choked on my coffee. Spluttering a little, I placed my mug down and wiped my mouth on the back of my hoodie sleeve, oh-so-attractively, I thought wryly. “We- I just- I don’t know where he went but I went to the bathroom.”</p>
<p>“Ohhh that was convincing…” Ryan murmured, in a playfully sarcastic way. “Doing the boss…bad girl. Where was it? Empty office? Hidden staging area? Disused storage room?”</p>
<p>At this I turned my chair right around to face him, my knees bumping into his legs lightly as I did so. God damn was he tall at six-foot dead. I stood up instead of remaining sitting to try to regain some control of this situation, but he still towered over me. “Nothing happened.” I insisted in what I wanted to be a firm voice.</p>
<p>“You,” he said slowly, quietly, still with the same smirk that gave the impression he was examining the most incredible-looking desserts on a menu in a restaurant, “should stop lying to me. I saw your ruffled clothes when you got back.”</p>
<p>Biting my lip a little bit, I tucked my hands into my hoodie pockets and stood my ground. “We didn’t have sex.” My words implicated defeat to a point because I was admitting that <em>something </em>happened, but I was feeling more and more like he was judging me. “Why do you care?”</p>
<p>“It’s not so much about me caring as it is my interest in you allowing Geoff to have you,” Ryan answered me with a small shrug. “Plus, I just like to watch you squirm.”</p>
<p>My eyes widened a little bit as he winked and turned and walked over to his desk to set up his equipment as though none of that conversation had ever happened. <em>‘Breathe’, </em>my inner voice told me. I took a deep but quiet breath as though I hadn’t breathed for the last five minutes and attempted to calm down. And yet, I wasn’t having an anxiety attack; my heart was thudding hard for a different reason<em>.</em> He was ‘interested’ in my allowing myself to be shut in a small room with my boss to make out with him? What did that even mean?</p>
<p>What I actually needed at that moment was a cold fucking shower as I recalled the incident with Geoff, but instead I dealt with working through the day instead. Ryan didn’t pay any particularly unusual attention to me during it, nor did he come physically close again, but every now and then I’d catch him looking over at me, causing me to blush yet again. Damn, the smug bastard was enjoying this and it was infuriating.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>He answered the door not looking overly different than he usually did; checked red shirt over a t-shirt (both ironed, I noticed), black pants and smart shoes and a total lack of a tie. Geoff really disliked ties. But he looked the perfect combination of smart-casual, which was pretty much what we’d agreed on so as not to make things too weird or different.</p>
<p>I’d chosen to wear my smart purple blouse, black jeans, black ankle boots and the usual amount of makeup that I wore. Again, I’d played it down a bit, not wanting to be uncomfortable in a friend’s house when all we were doing was having dinner. Too formal and it would have become too structured. This way we could still be ourselves.</p>
<p>“I’m making carbonara,” Geoff smiled, as I entered his familiar house, full of very Geoff-like quirks and books. Lots of books.</p>
<p>“Has this picture of a dog always been here?” I asked curiously, staring at it in its small frame on the wall. “It has a suit on.”</p>
<p>Laughing, Geoff replied that no, he’d picked it up recently, as he continued to cook.</p>
<p>I flopped down onto his sofa. It was less firm than mine but it was the kind that you sank down into rather than perch on, which wasn’t bad necessarily. The first time I’d ever sat on this sofa, I’d thought mid-way down that I was going right to the floor because it contrasted so much with my firmer one that met you higher up.</p>
<p>Gavin made an appearance at that moment grinning sheepishly and wearing socks on his feet that had Xbox logos on them. He weirdly looked even younger here in this environment than he normally did. “So err…Geoff told me…that you two made out…so are you going out now or what?”</p>
<p>“I have no idea,” I answered, completely honestly. “One of the reasons for this dinner, I think.”</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” he nodded. “I was surprised to start with, though. How the hell did that happen?”</p>
<p>I laughed, unable to help myself. “I’m guessing he told you no details at all.”</p>
<p>“We didn’t gossip like teenage girls,” Gavin chuckled a little. “I didn’t <em>want </em>details. But he basically told me nothing.” He plopped down on the sofa beside me, putting his feet up on the glass coffee table.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid of thunder storms. He calmed me down. We kissed,” I summarised. “He was…really nice.” It felt odd saying it out loud in that way, because we all knew it to be fact. Geoff was a nice guy. He would constantly claim he was an asshole and exhibit plenty of self-loathing, but in reality he was a very loving, loyal person once you got to know him. That was the thing though; cracking the shell in the first place. Not many people ever managed because he was difficult to get close to.</p>
<p>“Okay, well you gave more detail than he did. Why’re you afraid of thunder?” Gavin inquired, looking genuinely confused.</p>
<p>“They’re…loud. They make me jump,” I answered, trying to translate into words how it made me feel. “It makes me feel panicky.”</p>
<p>“Wow,” Gavin ran a hand through his light brown hair, his wide eyes innocent. “I had no idea. I mean I know you’re a bit highly-strung sometimes, but…”</p>
<p>I didn’t blame him for not knowing because I generally didn’t even talk about my fears. Geoff had only figured it out through being observant when it was happening. Other than that, it was never brought up.</p>
<p>Geoff placed plates of carbonara onto the table, along with two tumblers. He only drank alcohol one night a week at the moment as he was trying to cut back on alcohol in general and tonight wasn’t that night. He and Gavin had agreed that drinking on Thursday nights was better than Friday because it would force you to limit yourself, knowing you had to come into work on Friday in a fit state. Then you would recover and have the weekend free. The idea itself was a good one, but I noticed the occasional slip every now and then. Tonight though, he seemed to be sticking to soft drinks as he poured out iced water and offered us soda.</p>
<p>“I’m going to take mine – thank you Geoff – and give you two some peace and quiet,” Gavin said slightly dramatically, with a huge wink at both of us that just was not necessary and made Geoff and I go to pieces laughing. Bless him though, he did just that, leaving the two of us sitting at the table tucking into probably some of the best homemade pasta I’ve ever eaten.</p>
<p>“This is great food,” I grinned. “Compliments to the chef.”</p>
<p>Geoff beamed adorably. “I’ll let him know, thank you.”</p>
<p>We ate in a perfectly comfortable silence for a minute before I brought up the question that I hated asking as much as men hated hearing, to be honest. “So…Geoff…what is this?” I actually expected him to make a joke like, ‘it’s pasta stupid’ to get it out of the way first, but he didn’t.</p>
<p>“I like you a lot, but I’m happy being exclusive or non-exclusive.“ He said this carefully, with an air of tact.</p>
<p>I breathed a small sigh of relief. “I feel the same way. And you’re my boss, which I can’t quite get past.”</p>
<p>“Why? I’ll be professional at work,” he said, totally seriously as he took another bite of pasta. “The two won’t overlap. I’m not gonna be an asshole and promote you if we fuck. But I do take your point.”</p>
<p>I let out a small laugh. “I know Geoff, I didn’t mean that. I just meant…there’s something I need to tell you about.”</p>
<p>I’d piqued his interest immediately. “Oh?”</p>
<p>How the hell was I supposed to explain this sufficiently? I figured I’d do my best and then fill in the details afterwards. “Ryan’s been…kinda flirty with me. He asked me what turns me on last night by text.”</p>
<p>There was an odd sort of pause where Geoff appeared very unsurprised. He then seemed to realise this and looked back down at his pasta.</p>
<p>“He knows about us kissing as well,” I added, remembering his comment about our ruffled clothes.</p>
<p>“That does not surprise me.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t?” I blinked, because this revelation was sure as hell surprising me.</p>
<p>“The thing about Ryan,” Geoff said slowly as he twisted pasta around his fork, “Is that we have…this…open sort of relationship. Not with each other though.”</p>
<p>My eyes widened.</p>
<p>“He talked to me months ago,” Geoff continued, in between chewing and swallowing. “About the fact that clearly we both like you and was anything going to happen there.”</p>
<p>I felt like I had frozen with shock. They had liked me for months, both of them; they’d been biding their time. They’d mutually agreed to both see if anything was going to happen. So did that mean that they now disagreed and were both coming after me anyway? Was I supposed to choose now? I voiced this thought out of confusion, with it occurring to me right afterwards how this might affect my job.</p>
<p>“No, no,” Geoff was quick to correct me. “We don’t disagree. <em>We agree. </em>This is a massive gamble on our behalf because you could tell one or both of us both to fuck off and we would respect that and it wouldn’t affect your job. But we agreed to share you, only on the condition it was okay with you. I was gonna bring this up tonight, but you brought it up first.” He raised his glass of iced water to his lips.</p>
<p>I tilted my head to the side a little. “Date…both of you? At the same time? But…you’re okay with that?”</p>
<p>Geoff met my eyes. “Yes.”</p>
<p>“This isn’t just some sort of weird power play or bet or something?” I asked, before I could filter myself.</p>
<p>Shaking his head without breaking eye contact, Geoff very firmly said, “No. I really do like you a lot.” He paused, seeming to be allowing me to try to process all of this.</p>
<p>“So...you’re both okay with…us all having sex?”</p>
<p>Geoff chuckled. “Not as a threesome, no. I don’t wanna be naked with Haywood. Whatever you and Ryan do is whatever but it’s up to you and him. Although,” he twirled some more carbonara around his fork. “Like I said, he’s pretty intense. Feel free to say no to him, he won’t do anything you don’t want to do. Neither will I.”</p>
<p>Thinking carefully, I chewed on my food. This sounded too good to be true, like the best of both worlds or something. Like having your cake and eating it too, although I never really understood that reference. Whilst Ryan did somewhat intimidate me, he intrigued me too. There was something about the way that he smiled, the way that he sized you up, the way that he was so good at being just a little unnerving and that he enjoyed knowing you felt that way.</p>
<p>“How am I supposed to…deal with Ryan?”</p>
<p>Geoff looked amused. “I don’t know, do you want to ‘deal’ with Ryan in the first place?” He used cutesy air quotes that made me giggle.</p>
<p>“I mean that literally, he’s so…” I paused, trying to come up with the right word.</p>
<p>“Domineering?” Geoff offered.</p>
<p>“…yeah,” I replied, realising that that was the exact right word to describe his demeanour towards me.</p>
<p>“Like I said, you say the word, he’ll stop,” Geoff replied, taking both of our empty plates back to the kitchen. “He’s not a monster. Trust him. I do.” He returned and took my hand to lead me over to the sofa and TV.</p>
<p>I did trust Ryan, like I trusted all of the guys in the office; for as long as I’d worked there we’d all become great friends and despite occasional small spats, we honestly felt like a family. But this was all entirely new territory and I could already sense that he was talking about a different level of trust.</p>
<p>With a movie on, we had sunk down onto his sofa to watch, with me unable to resist cuddling up to him. With my head on his chest, I could hear his steady heartbeat as he hooked an arm around me to pull me closer. We stayed like that for a while, but his other hand was lightly stroking along the top of my thigh through my jeans as the movie reached roughly the half-way point, causing my focus to break and my mind to wander.</p>
<p>It wasn’t long until we were both stumbling to the bedroom, the film forgotten, unbuttoning clothes and throwing jackets and shirts as we went. Shirtless, he watched as I undid the last couple of buttons of my blouse and shrugged it off my shoulders while I stepped backwards until the backs of my knees hit the edge of his bed. He leaned in, kissing me with a passionate tenderness, his warm tattooed hands sliding down to unbutton my jeans before he sunk down to slide them down my legs before following with my panties as I unhooked my bra and dropped it.</p>
<p>I shivered with anticipation as he stood again, feeling him press his body up against me as he lowered me onto the bed, dragging off his remaining clothing as he went. This was usually the part that I’d feel horribly self-conscious, but I didn’t. Nothing about this felt bad or weird or not-right. It was all just good. So good.</p>
<p>Geoff was already on top of me, his bare chest, arms and hands overrun with tattoos that were suddenly mostly viewable as a complete set of pictures – I’d never seen him shirtless before as far as I could remember. He caught me staring and smiled gently, reaching down between my thighs with his fingers before he attempted to slide himself into me, clearly not wanting to go too fast at first and risk hurting me. Despite this, I begun to claw at him, wanting him to go faster, harder. My nails were in no way pointy weapons, but they had a little sharpness to them and without consciously intending to, I wound up scratching up his sides as he steadily fucked me into bliss.</p>
<p>This seemed to arouse him more so I continued, loving the way he moaned as he increased his rhythm a little. Everything I was feeling was so much better than anything I’d ever had before during sex that I genuinely hadn’t realised what I’d been missing all these years.</p>
<p>“Oh my fucking god,” I panted a little, my eyes closing again as he leaned to nibble on my neck, his stubble tickling as he deliberately found my hands palms-up either side of my head with his own and held on to them enough to pin me down and prevent me from moving as much. This only served to heighten how good everything else was feeling as he whispered into my ear for me to moan his name, which I did without any further persuasion.</p>
<p>“Fuck me you’re a good girl,” Geoff groaned, as I noticed that our skin had taken on slight sheen of sweat from our combined body heat.</p>
<p>I felt myself nearing orgasm, but knew that I could never seem to do so solely with penetration from past experiences. As I tugged at his hand with my dominant hand, he seemed to understand and let it go, allowing me to drop it and slide it right down to my crotch, just under his midriff. My fingers quickly found my clit, but I was trying to be a little restrained on purpose. Geoff grinned a little, knowing exactly what I was trying to do.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” he kissed my lips between laboured breathing. “Come for me.”</p>
<p>That line was enough to send me over the edge, screaming, causing him to come too due to how much I must have tensed up. Our mass of writhing, pleasure-stricken bodies trembled as we both climaxed, me being quite sure in that second that I’d never had an orgasm so strong and him whimpering my name accompanied by a mixture of swear words. When it began to subside, he fell next to me onto the bed, drawing heavy breaths to mirror mine.</p>
<p>“That was incredible,” he laughed.</p>
<p>I looked sideways at him. “And overdue.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sleepy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s mid-2014. You guys all move to the new office and record some ‘Go!’ sessions. You then have to stay late due to extra workload.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Big note here:</b><br/>I know that Geoff quit drinking in 2017 which I hardcore respect, and that he used to be an alcoholic, but again during the time this was written in he was still drinking, so the fic will wind up reflecting this. I will put warnings in notes up top (like this one) if it is going to have negative consequences to the chapter/characters, in case you just don’t want to read it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><em>Mmm, so comfortable</em>… I snuggled up more into a completely foetal position, sheets wrapped around me like I was a burrito. This bed was so nice…and it smelled good, like faint hints of cinnamon and cologne. This was not my bed. My eyes opened slowly as I remembered that I was actually in Geoff’s bed after staying the night and for a moment, I scrambled mentally to remember what day it was but thankfully, it was Saturday.</p><p>Sitting up slowly, I stretched my arms above my head and glanced around the room for the clothes that had been all over the floor last night only to see them laying semi-neatly on the end of the bed, ready for me. After showering and redressing, I headed downstairs, finding Gavin sleepily eating cereal and Geoff drinking black coffee, the two of them chatting about something.</p><p>“Hey guys,” I greeted them cheerily, taking care not to slip up on the smooth kitchen tiles in my socks.</p><p>“Someone’s in a good mood,” remarked Gavin, grinning.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked him innocently, helping myself to cereal too. “You guys excited for the office move next week?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, we’re gonna have so much space,” Gavin answered with his mouth full. “It’s so much bigger!”</p><p>“We’ll actually have floor space in the middle of the room for filming, like for our ‘Go!’ and ‘Versus’ series’,” Geoff added. “But it’s a lot of equipment to move. It’s going to take a few days.”</p><p>Thoughtfully, I chewed my rice puffs. It was slightly further away from where I personally lived, but it was still within the city of Austen and I could still reach the office on foot. The fact that it was far more spacious – something which everyone was beginning to need desperately now that the company was expanding slowly – more than made up for that fact. Ryan would have a permanent desk in the same room as the rest of us, rather than having to temporarily set up for recording with us and having his actual desk in a different room altogether. I would have more space rather than being a little squished between Jack and Geoff, something I’d gotten used to, but I wasn’t going to complain about spreading out in the new place. Lindsay and Kdin would have more room to film in-room competitions and other recordings, which would be great as they wouldn’t be trying not to trip over each other, the countless microphone wires trailing across the floor or the rest of us all the time.</p><p>The day consisted of me returning home and the three of us making headway with levelling up our online character in GTAV. We’d all basically agreed that playing in our spare time was almost necessary because it would help us when we teamed up for heists on-camera and while Gavin wasn’t as bothered as the rest of us, Ryan and Michael were miles ahead in levels than the rest of us and that, quite frankly, needed to be corrected. Much as though he wanted to play and switch his mind off for a change, I could hear Geoff getting calls every few hours, his phone echoing a little down his headset microphone. This often left me to deal with Gavin’s idiocy and shenanigans combined at some inconvenient times within the game, causing us to lose several heists in a row because he could never resist the pull of messing about - and there weren’t even any cameras on us. Sometimes, it was hilarious and just part of what made him gel with the group, sometimes it was infuriating if you were trying to seriously get something done.</p><p>The weekend passed quickly and it was soon Monday morning once again, the sky a bright blue and cloudless as the sun burned down on me on my drive to work. Today was the beginning of moving; we’d be in the new office by Wednesday, with mostly everything set up for us, at least. Some departments would take more time what with set pieces and far more furniture to set up. It went mostly smoothly; we in our office moved our own smaller equipment individually, while moving trucks were hired for the bigger props and furniture within the company.</p><p>“Be careful with that!” called a female voice, as her blonde wavy hair fell around her shoulders while she rushed around, supervising people moving things in the Rooster Teeth crew’s office. It was almost as small as ours, but it had the advantage of being more square than rectangular.</p><p>Ah Barbara, the community manager of the company. She was often as weird as she was smiley, but in all of the best ways. You could always rely on her to be just a little bit crazy and she was regularly tons of fun on nights out. Currently though, she looked a little stressed, so I didn’t stop to talk to her. Instead, I bypassed the Rooster Teeth office to ours, prepared to help out with whatever was left that needed doing.</p><p>My throat locked up a little as I glanced around the now more spacious room that was totally shelf, desk and chair-free. It was almost bare, aside from a dozen or so cardboard boxes stacked up in the middle and Michael, who was sealing them up with parcel tape.</p><p>“S’gonna be weird isn’t it?” he reflected, voicing how I was feeling. “Never realised how big the room actually is before.”</p><p>I nodded quietly, agreeing and assisting him in taping up boxes.</p><p>“That’s Gavin’s,” Michael said, nudging a box with his foot to point it out to me. “He forgot to write on it if you want to do that.”</p><p>“Course he did,” I smiled, taking the black marker pen that had rolled onto the floor and writing ‘AH – Gavin Free’ on the side of it. “Please tell me they’ve not all left you in here to pack up the whole office?”</p><p>“Fuck no,” Michael chuckled. “They’ve all been in, but they went off to help in other departments, I think. I was just doing last-minute shit in here to make sure we've got everything.”</p><p>“You gonna miss this?” I asked, gesturing to the room.</p><p>“Not really. Sure we started here, but the new office is better,” he shrugged, nudging his glasses further back up on his nose.</p><p>***</p><p>Geoff paced the room with his microphone in his hand as the host, while we all waited in anticipation. We were about to record a few episodes of ‘Go!’ and personally, I’d been looking forward to it. Kdin and Michael’s wife Lindsay were floating around as usual with their company phones as cameras, ready to record the inevitable chaos that would surely ensue. Our huge bookcase of games had been rebuilt here of course, which now Gavin was closest to. This didn’t necessarily give him an advantage though as Michael pointed out, given that he would still have to come up with the ideas and inspiration to help him win.</p><p>A ‘Pizza party’ was still the prize for winning 5 times with a board on the wall tracking us via stickers, although this had devolved into a running joke with gradually decreasing amounts of pizza. Mostly the title was used only to reference us all going somewhere together to eat whatever the winner felt like.</p><p>Being the afternoon, I noticed that Geoff, Gavin and Michael had been drinking in various amounts, with mugs betraying the whiskey they were consuming. It wasn’t enough to compromise their jobs in terms of their ability to concentrate, compete and be entertaining, but it had become relatively normal for this to occur in the last few years. It did make Geoff noticeably more forgetful, however.</p><p>As one of the three people in the room that didn’t drink – along with Ryan and Ray – I had my usual can of soda instead which I sipped as I observed Gavin shuffle to the edge of his desk chair to be ready to stand up immediately.</p><p>“Ayyyyy, this is ‘Go!’ episode…something,” Geoff chuckled, having completely forgotten the number. It was pretty common for this to happen anyway, considering we usually recorded a few in a row and released them incrementally at one a week over the following few weeks.</p><p>“You’ll see it in the title,” added Michael as he addressed the audience, as Kdin aimed a phone his way. “Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>“Yeah, you will. Anyway-“ Geoff stopped as something soft hit him in the side of the head.</p><p>“FIIISH!” Gavin yelled, having thrown the huge greenish stuffed fish plushie directly at him, with a huge grin as everybody collapsed into giggles. Since it usually lived on the white leather sofa that had now been relegated to actually just being a sofa rather than Ryan’s seat in our previous tiny office, I wondered if Gavin had been hiding it under his desk and waiting for his opportunity all day.   </p><p>“Fuck off, dude,” Geoff threw it back, knocking Gavin’s cup of water over on his desk, which he instantly squealed about, though it was not likely do any damage. “Since everybody at Rooster Teeth right now is obsessed with Destiny, it’s gonna be a Destiny-related challenge.”</p><p>He was right; almost everybody in the Achievement Hunter section of the company on both the A-Team (aka us seven) and the B-Team (aka the editors/the recording crew for in-room shenanigans) in the side office had become absolutely wrapped up in the new game, playing separately, together and everything in between, with people delaying slightly on their workloads to do so. It got so bad for a few days that Geoff had to come down on everyone a little harder than he usually ever would because ‘nothing else was getting done’.</p><p>I noticed Jack on my right reaching for his Xbox One copy of Destiny on his desk. Ray, who already had his copy in his machine, reached slowly for his controller.</p><p>“Wait, wait!” Geoff spoke before anyone could get a head-start. “If the disc’s in your console, eject it and put it back in. I think Michael had it loaded before we decided to start this. We’ve gotta make this fair.”</p><p>I did so, tapping the ‘eject’ button on my Xbox One even though my console was sitting on the home screen with Destiny merely inside it and not yet actually loaded. Next to me on my left, Ryan did the same.</p><p>Running a hand over his short beard, Geoff laughed. “Right, probably a short one…be the first person to punch an enemy player <em>online</em> to death. No guns or other weapons. GO!“</p><p>There was the familiar scrabble as everyone grabbed their controller before spamming the A button to somehow will the game to load faster. While doing this wasn’t effective in the slightest, the internet here in the new office was far, far better than before and at least loading and playing online was going to be much smoother and would hopefully load marginally faster. As I loaded into an online game, I heard the various cussing around the room as we desperately tried to punch an opponent to death before getting shot to death, something which proved to be much easier said than done.</p><p>Ten minutes later had Geoff laughing and teasingly saying, “I’m surprised no one’s gotten this yet,” whilst earning slight glares from the rest of us.</p><p>“Fuck, I died AGAIN,” Michael roared, right as Gavin tensed up in his chair beside him at his desk due to being close to winning.</p><p>Finally, Ray dropped his controller down onto his desk and announced, “Done it!” causing the rest of us to groan in slight frustration as we realised we’d all lost.</p><p>“Ray’s the winner!” Geoff said loudly as Lindsay swept in to film Ray’s reaction.</p><p>We all witnessed Ray picking from the sticker sheet selection and settling, as usual, for a Dora The Explorer one before placing it up on the board by his name. This was a not really an inside joke any more and more like a running trend at this point that he would reference his heritage in some way that was sometimes politically correct and most times not so much, being that he was Puerto Rican. The fact that Dora was Spanish was, in his opinion, enough reason for him to use those stickers.</p><p>Ending the recording for that episode, we begun another one almost straight afterwards, with Gavin drinking more of his whiskey in the meantime. To my left hissed the sound of another can of diet Coke being opened by Ryan.</p><p>“Ayyyyyy, this is more ‘Go!’! So, how’re we all doing?” Geoff asked the room, indicating to us that Lindsay and Kdin had just hit record on a new session and that this was a separate episode. “This week, I’m setting a slightly different task. Get an achievement on a game you’ve never played before. GO!”</p><p>We all glanced around the room at one another as Ray laughed and said, “Well fuck.”</p><p>“There’s gotta be something you haven’t played before, come on,” Geoff stated, watching Gavin and Michael push each other a little to get to get a good view of the bookshelf containing our collection of hard copies of games. I also walked over, because nothing I had digitally downloaded on my consoles was likely to be un-played. I could see a couple of games I’d never ventured near due to not really enjoying them like some of the Call Of Duty titles. Quickly grabbing a copy of Black Ops II and returning to my desk, I heard Gavin shove the disc tray of his Xbox 360 closed with a snap rather than waiting for it to automatically close, making all of us wince. He abused that thing so much it was sure to break soon.</p><p>I glanced over at Jack, who seemed to be following the same thought process as me; there had to be an achievement for doing some killing in a first-person shooter, right? We had both banked on this and picked from the same game series, relying on this logic. Ryan, who was honestly about as terrible at fighting games as a person could be, seemed to be trying to win some matches in Dead Or Alive 4.</p><p>From across the room, I couldn’t tell what Michael and Gavin had eventually picked, but I could see that Ray had finally found something that he appeared to be playing intently. Turning back around to look at my screen again as Kdin lowered the phone to film me, I bit my lip as I begun the story mode of Black Ops II, fighting to skip any cut scenes.</p><p>“Is there an easy achievement at the beginning of that, [Y/N]?” Geoff asked, also strolling over to see what I was playing. “Wait, have you really never played that before? It’s years old!”</p><p>“I really haven’t,” I replied, trying to adjust to the style of gameplay as I learned by pressing every button on my controller how to switch guns and actually shoot something. “Not my style of game.”</p><p>He chuckled and moved on to see what the others were competing with while he continued to commentate.</p><p>A few more minutes passed and just as I was getting frustrated at the sheer lack of achievements I was getting, Ray won it again with an arcade game that had taken no time at all to download from the Microsoft store on his Xbox 360 and then proceeding to play a quick game mode to unlock an achievement. The collective frustration that we all seemed to exhibit was clear, as Lindsay made sure to do a wide-shot recording of the room from the door as we all just stared at Ray. Geoff was able to verify his success by Ray showing him that he’d literally just bought Fusion Frenzy 2 on his main account from the time and date stamp and that was it – he was the winner twice in a row.</p><p>“I feel like I was close,” Jack said wistfully as he ejected Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.</p><p>“Congratulations, Ray,” Michael sighed. “Again.”</p><p>Once again, he applied his sticker of choice to the wall chart and we begun all over again.</p><p>Geoff announced another greeting to the camera, aka the audience, stating that another week had passed as he spoke his introduction. With these three episodes being released week-by-week, we had to endure this each time despite them being recorded one after another.</p><p>“This week’s task is set in Grand Theft Auto 5,” he told us, right off the bat. “It’s a challenge within that so you’d better all get it loading since it takes fuckin’ forever to load.”</p><p>Grabbing our Xbox 360 copies or mashing buttons to open the game on our consoles, we all managed to just about load it into multiplayer mode – which took an age –  with our individual characters and then look back at Geoff expectantly.</p><p>“Simple one, might take forever, we’ll see,” he smiled. “In this order: fly a plane, ride a motorcycle, ride a jet ski, ride a bicycle. GO!”</p><p>It was not an entirely easy task. Finding the necessary vehicles was the first task in itself and although I knew where to find bicycles, I could hear Michael voicing from behind me that he ‘had no fucking clue’. Ryan had loaded near to the airport as it was, so he was trying to drive up the grassy ramp to get over the airport fence in order to steal a plane, with me already within the parameter via a different entryway but having a long way to drive to the hanger.</p><p>“[Y/N] and Ryan are neck and neck!” Geoff observed aloud, his eyes flicking from one screen to the other as I found an irritatingly empty hanger and Ryan drove to a different one, where he lucked out with a plane on the first try.</p><p>It wasn’t long before the whole room had managed to breach the airport in some way and fly a plane, find and steal a motorcycle from a random NPC and find a jet ski at the beach. As I fast-travelled to where I knew there would definitely be a push-bike, I glanced over at Ryan’s screen; he was already there.</p><p>“Shit, load faster!” I growled at my Xbox.</p><p>“Nobody’s riding around on fucking bicycles!” Michael yelled in annoyance, referring to the NPCs in his game.</p><p>“I can’t find one either!” Gavin added, sounding annoyed.</p><p>My game loaded and allowed me to run full-pelt towards the parking lot I was aiming for near to the bottom of the ski-lifts. “Geoff, I’m gonna get on a bicycle any second!” I warned him, indicating he should come over to see me win to verify. I was immediately swarmed by Lindsay with her camera and then Geoff but kept my focus.</p><p>“Ryan’s close too,” Geoff replied, watching us both again. “And you’re both- oh my God, was that a tie?“</p><p>My eyes widened as I glanced across at his screen; I’d just made my character clamber on to a bike at seemingly the same time that Ryan had, eliciting a slight pause from Geoff who asked Lindsay if she’d caught who had come first, but she agreed that she saw us do it at the exact same time.</p><p>“Fuck it, both of you win,” Geoff conceded. “Congrats!”</p><p>Gavin, who was still drinking I noticed, was smiling a little sleepily across the room at us after looking like he’d given up a few minutes earlier at not being able to find a bike. “Nice one.”</p><p>Ryan and I rose to our feet triumphantly at the same time, causing him to smirk a little and say, “After you” which I took him up on. Picking out a starfish sticker, I slapped it on the chart by my name and returned to my desk as Ryan did the same with his sticker of choice.</p><p>Some hours later, Jack and Michael had gone home but Gavin and Ray were still elsewhere in the building, recording voice lines for their animated series ‘X-Ray &amp; Vav’ before they made their ways home. I’d made myself more coffee to keep myself awake but the time was marching on and as I worked on editing something as a favour for a member of the B-Team. Matt, who was on holiday and was not to blame for me taking on most of his workload, deserved the time off, but as I worked I barely noticed the time slipping by. I never really minded video editing - it allowed me to get creative, focus on the task at hand and besides that, the main reason I’d end up staying late was usually waiting for the video to render/upload, which took far longer than you might think, so I had plenty of time to just relax.</p><p>As I walked down the corridor to the new kitchen area to get more coffee, I heard other voices nearby. There were plenty of dedicated employees at this company, that was for sure, but I was so tired that I sort of wanted to lie down and go to sleep on the floor. Once I had a fresh mug of joe I slowly walked back to the office, praying that no errors were going to be present on my monitor screen and as I entered the room, I actually held my breath.</p><p>No errors. Thank God.</p><p>It happened sometimes and it meant that you would have to essentially start the export process all over again, which just took up even more time. The progress bar however was not even half-finished and it was already ten o’clock at night. My warm drink in my hands, I settled on the white leather sofa and tucked my legs under myself, able to watch my monitor screen from this position. While I couldn’t read anything on it, I would be able to see if any pop-ups occurred for any reason and then attend to them.</p><p>Using the big fish plushie as a pillow, I slouched down a bit so that I could lazily scroll through social media on my phone while I waited, placing my mug down on the floor. Funny dog videos were the best. One animal video linked through to another, until eventually I was watching the story of a cat that had been rescued and given a new lease of life with a caring owner. My eyelids were beginning to droop. My phone slid down in my hand to rest on my stomach.</p><p>I fell asleep.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Lust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s mid-2014. Guess who offers to walk you home because you fell asleep at the office? Yep, Good-Guy-Ryan.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>[Explicit sexual content warning]</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Someone was softly speaking my name, but I was so comfortable...I’d been having a lovely dream about getting free pizza in a restaurant that was also some sort of cat café, with furry felines everywhere to be petted and cuddled…</p>
<p>But gradually, I was falling out of the dream and coming back down to reality as I heard my name being spoken again. I became aware of my aching back and the fact that I wasn’t in my own bed right before realising that I wasn’t even at home, as the memories of staying late at the office because of video editing came flying back to me. My eyes shot open.</p>
<p>“You fell asleep,” Ryan smiled gently, stating the now-obvious to me. “Your video finished exporting though. I stayed to make sure it did and then I uploaded the first one you did too, because that takes a while.”</p>
<p>Groggily, I shifted myself into more of a normal sitting position, my heart thudding. What time was it? How long had I been here asleep? I very much doubted that I could sweet-talk my way out of missing a deadline with Geoff after the conversation we’d had about us dating not affecting my job. That probably worked both ways, which was fair, to be honest. It wasn’t as though he’d fire me for it; I was such a good employee that never missed deadlines usually and with the extra workload, he was likely to understand though still be unhappy. But here was Ryan, who had sat and made sure that while I slept, my video hadn’t failed to export or fucked up in some other inexplicable way and had even finished the rest of the other stuff I’d needed to do.</p>
<p>The clock revealed that it was past midnight. Balls. But wait, what was Ryan doing here at this time of night?</p>
<p>As if to answer my silent question, he strolled over to my PC and begun to click things on the screen with my mouse while explaining. “I had something to build out of plywood for a set as a favour across the building and I got a little into it. Didn’t notice the time until just now and was going to lock up, but I saw the office light on over here. Good thing I checked in, huh?”</p>
<p>Nodding, I wondered what I would have done if I’d been the only person left here with no way to lock up the building. I didn’t have keys because there was never a reason for me to be the absolute last one here. The thought scared me a little and I made the resolve in that moment to try harder to stay awake on future late nights.</p>
<p>“So…you did my work for me?” I asked anxiously, feeling horribly guilty for falling asleep now.</p>
<p>Placing his Achievement Hunter baseball cap on backwards as he usually wore it, Ryan shut down my PC. “Yeah, it’s all sorted. C’mon, I’ll walk you home. You don’t live far, right?”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to walk me home, I’ll be fine,” I retorted, pulling on my hoodie. “I’m capable.”</p>
<p>Ryan fixed me with a fairly intense stare. “I’m not doing it because I don’t think you’re capable. I’d do the same for Gavin or any of the others. Being on your own at this time of night isn’t a good idea.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t really argue with that, so I grabbed my bag and we left the building, with him ensuring that he’d locked up properly first. Satisfied that he had after trying the doors, we began to walk at a reasonable pace down the street in the direction of my flat in silence at first, until something occurred to me.</p>
<p>“How long were you in there before you woke me up?”</p>
<p>Ryan smirked a little, glancing sideways at me. “Are you asking if I watched you sleep?”</p>
<p>“Kinda,” I laughed. “Did you?”</p>
<p>“Only for a couple of minutes. I was mostly sitting at your desk. You looked peaceful though, what were you dreaming about?”</p>
<p>“Cats and pizza,” I replied truthfully, sighing. “It was great.”</p>
<p>He laughed properly then, which was nice to hear. Usually he would make a small noise of amusement or chuckle at most, but to hear him actually laugh was really sweet. I felt my chest swell a little in affection.</p>
<p>“Should’ve known it’d be something like that,” he grinned as we turned a corner into a new street.</p>
<p>Another minute passed before either of us spoke again, but while I was still dwelling on the dream I’d had, Ryan clearly had something else on his mind altogether.</p>
<p>“Have you spoken to Geoff yet about your relationship yet?”</p>
<p>I nearly stopped dead in surprise at the sudden subject change, but forced my legs to continue placing one foot in front of the other. “Yes. He…explained…” Why did he always catch me so off-guard?</p>
<p>“And how do you feel about it?” he prompted, with a brief glance over at me.</p>
<p>I thought back to the dinner conversation Geoff and I had had the previous week at his house. Between the two of them, they’d agreed to ‘share’ me in an open relationship so long as I agreed with it, and whilst I’d been surprised at the time, I’d also felt small ripple of excitement at the prospect. The truth was that I was actually okay with it, but it was also venturing into the complete unknown which wracked my nerves too. Never before had I experienced any kind of relationship like it and it was going to take some time to figure out the mechanics of it.</p>
<p>“I agree to it,” I replied simply and honestly.</p>
<p>Ryan hesitated. “Just to be clear…you agree to what?”</p>
<p>“To you and Geoff both dating me,” I answered him, admiring his clear want for my spoken consent and understanding before he’d be satisfied with my answer.</p>
<p>He nodded in response, tucking his hands into his jeans’ pockets. “Okay. Good.”</p>
<p>We walked in more silence until we eventually reached my apartment building, at which I stopped and looked at him with a little warm colour in my cheeks that might or might not have been hidden by the relative darkness of the street, despite the coolness of the night air. The nap seemed to have refreshed my mind and the groggy feeling had worn off, leaving me feeling much more awake now.</p>
<p>“So…wanna come in?” I asked bravely, watching him slowly smirk.</p>
<p>“Well, I was going to walk back to the office where my car is, but if you insist…”</p>
<p>“I can’t let you walk back <em>alone, </em>at this time of night,” I giggled mockingly, causing him to raise an eyebrow in clear amusement.</p>
<p>He waited for me to unlock the main door and followed me inside and into the elevator, where we both patiently waited for it to zoom us up to floor sixteen. I unlocked my flat and breathed a contented sigh. Home, sweet home.</p>
<p>It wasn’t a big place that I had, particularly. It was decently sized for me though, with the living area and kitchen in the same room and the bedroom and bathroom off to the side. I also had a very small third room with my gaming computer and monitor atop my narrow desk. I’d never had any complaints since it served its purpose for me and my neighbours weren’t too noisy or inconsiderate (luckily), but it did happen to be the first time I’d ever had one of my colleagues over.</p>
<p>“So this is where you live,” Ryan pondered, his eyes taking in everything from my little dragon ornaments and unlit candles up on my small bookshelf that stood near my tan sofa, to my kitchen appliances where my slow cooker sat next to my small coffee machine and a bag of half-eaten and resealed potato chips. “It’s very…you.”</p>
<p>Sensing that was a compliment, I shrugged a little as I locked my front door. “I live alone, so I can do what I want with the place. Do you want a drink or anything?”</p>
<p>“Nah, I’m good.”</p>
<p>Still with my back to him, I continued. “Are you sure? Coffee? Diet Coke?” Turning back around, I caught him watching me from where he was now leaning against my kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest and his blue eyes returning to meet mine after having clearly checked out my ass. With a small smile, he bit his bottom lip.</p>
<p>Too quickly for my brain to process what I was doing while my heart thudded harder, my legs moved towards him and I leaned up to kiss him. At first he returned it gently, sliding his arms around my waist as he did so, but it soon became more hungry and with relative ease, he placed both hands on my ass and lifted me in one swift motion so that I could wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I removed his baseball cap and ran a hand through his soft dirty-blond hair while he walked us to the bedroom after I pointed out which door it was.</p>
<p>He placed me down on my bed while I shoved my duvet off of it and on to the floor, fire filling my core as I became aware of how much my body was yearning for him. His shirt was off first before his hands reached to pull my t-shirt up over my head with my compliance while I unbuttoned my jeans and then his. As he disposed of my bra, his gaze stayed fixed on my eyes and lips as he gently pushed me down into a laying position before slowly, deliberately, pinching my left nipple and causing me to let out a little yelp. With a wicked smile, he did it again harder this time and watched me squirm before moving to my other nipple.</p>
<p>Clutching at my sheets with both hands, I arched my back up off of the bed a little, my eyes closing.</p>
<p>“Oh, you like that?” he teased, knowing the obvious answer.</p>
<p>I replied in the form of a small whimper, which only served to fuel his dominant streak.</p>
<p>“Answer me,” he demanded quietly, now no longer alternating and instead applying various amounts of pressure to both of my nipples at the same time with his fingertips.</p>
<p>I met his eyes apprehensively, which had darkened somewhat with lust. “Yes.”</p>
<p>Triumphantly, he stopped and instead leaned down, his knees either side of my hips while he littered my chin and neck with surprisingly soft kisses, the denim of his unbuttoned jeans brushing against my bare skin and making me shiver a little as I lay in just panties. Lightly, he grazed his fingers up my side as he nibbled the shell of my ear before abruptly digging his nails into my flesh and whispering, “I wonder how wet you are already?”</p>
<p>Gasping and letting out a small moan in response to the sudden sharp pain, I watched him move back to remove his jeans and boxers, before he turned his attention to my panties, which were thankfully one of the fancier pairs I owned with some lace decoration along the top. Laying still with my heart threatening to beat its way out of my chest as he slid my underwear down my thighs, I recalled what Geoff had said; <em>‘Like I said, you say the word, he’ll stop. Trust him.’  </em></p>
<p>Before I could so much as take another breath, Ryan had taken it on himself to push my thighs apart and run his tongue lightly along my pussy a few times, causing me to moan louder as he threw me a filthy smirk. “Want me that bad, huh?”</p>
<p>Unable to really adequately respond in the state he was getting me into with his tongue, I just nodded as he carried on and watched me writhe and grip the bedsheets with balled fists.</p>
<p>“Remind me to bring rope next time to keep you still,” he murmured pointedly, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of humour and need as I suddenly looked at him wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. “Don’t look so afraid, I wouldn’t tie you up too tight. Unless you misbehaved.“</p>
<p>I barely had time for this to sink in before he had straddled me once again and lifted my legs up at the knees at the same time while he adjusted himself to slowly ease into me. The first few thrusts were slow and steady as he watched for any discomfort on my part, but after that, his pace increased and then remained fairly consistent.</p>
<p>“Oh fuck,” I groaned as I observed him giving in a little to the pleasure from the look in his eyes, which only turned me on more. As in control as he clearly loved to be, even he plainly couldn’t quite resist how good this was feeling and seeing his moment of weakness was delicious.</p>
<p>My hands found his back, clutching at him as I slowly lost myself in the indulgence, but it wasn’t long before he seemed to regain his composure.</p>
<p>“Damn,” he remarked, a little breathlessly and with teasing in his voice, “you’ve become quite the office slut, haven’t you?”</p>
<p>Something about the fact that I could read him well enough to know that he wasn’t actually having a serious, cruel dig at me meant that this statement heightened my arousal instead. Yet again, I was blushing in admittance of this, not knowing what to say. A sharp slap to the back of my thigh brought me back to reality fast as I let out a whimper of surprise. He was waiting for an answer.</p>
<p>“Yes,” I mumbled, closing my eyes in slight embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Yes what?” he smirked devilishly, cocking an eyebrow expectantly.</p>
<p>I hesitated, causing him to raise his hand again over my ass this time as he continued his steady pace of fucking me. I almost wanted him to do it but somehow I wanted to submit more.</p>
<p>“I’m your slut, Ryan.” Even as I spoke the words I could feel the way that they spiked my arousal all the way down to my very core.</p>
<p>“Good girl,” he purred, stroking his hand across my skin instead of slapping it again as if in reward, but I barely registered it, too far gone as my orgasm took me, leaving me heaving for breath and trembling in his arms as I made no attempt to fight it. The agonising pleasure as he fucked me through it before breaking too nearly caused me to forget to breathe, but my body seemed to remember on its own that it needed to stay alive and my chest heaved for breath as I came down.</p>
<p>There was a silence as Ryan leant down to kiss my lips tenderly but briefly before climbing off of me and lying beside me, enveloping me in his arms. Content and feeling a little weak, I cuddled up to his warm body.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, after a few moments.</p>
<p>Slightly dazed, I tilted my head to look up at him. “Yeah, why?”</p>
<p>With a small smile, he bit his bottom lip again, a habit which I was noticing more and more was something he did very often. “I just wanted to make sure.”</p>
<p>While tracing circles on his chest with my fingertips, the corners of my mouth lifted sleepily. “I don’t know what I was so scared of.”</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“I was a little afraid because you’re so domineering and I’ve never experienced that before,” I elaborated. “And that made me nervous. But…it was…great.”</p>
<p>Softly, he chuckled. “Oh, you’re adorable,” he whispered, sounding like he meant it. “But trust me - we’ve barely scratched the surface.” As he said this, he very slightly dug the nails of one of his hands into my side once again, as if to remind me that he could still turn the situation in an instant and do whatever he wanted because I was basically at his mercy.</p>
<p>Butterflies flitted within my stomach in anticipation as I squirmed a little at the confusingly nice feeling of the pain, causing him to grin. “What?” I blinked.</p>
<p>There was a pause in which I searched his eyes in my bewilderment.</p>
<p>“Put it this way,” he said slowly, clearly enjoying corrupting my innocence. “Next time, you’re going to need a safe word.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>If I’d ever thought that I’d known anything at all about the world of sex, I’d been sorely mistaken. As I sat down at my desk the following morning, I recalled my conversation with Ryan that had gone on for so long that we’d barely gotten a couple of hours sleep in the end. He’d explained so much that I’d not even known about until now, including dominant and submissive relationships, bondage, pleasurable pain and so much more, basically blowing my mind. But he was incredibly patient and actually seemed to like answering my questions.</p>
<p>It almost seemed very strange to now spend the day at work with him, Geoff and the other guys and play something as innocent as Minecraft. The environment was such a stark contrast in the light of day to everything from last night that it was a little jarring.</p>
<p>“Man, you look wrecked,” Michael commented as he sat down at his desk across the room from me. Brutally honest as always and it sometimes caused him to be difficult to get along with, but to be frank I appreciated it on occasion.</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes in thanks, pulling my pocket mirror out of my bag by my feet and gazing into it. My hair was passable, brushed down straight and hanging loose around my shoulders and my eyeliner was neatly applied as of earlier this morning. What he was probably referring to were the dark circles under my eyes.</p>
<p>“I was here editing really late,” I explained, omitting most of the truth and flipping the mirror closed and reaching back into my bag for a spot of concealer so I’d look less dead in videos.</p>
<p>“Oh man, you’re doing Matt’s work too right? Sorry,” Michael replied, actually sounding a little regretful that he’d been so harsh. He then ruined this. “You do look like trash though. You got coffee?”</p>
<p>“Yep, hoping it’ll get me through the day,” I answered him, not really taking his comments to heart. Social media had said far, far worse things about me in the time I’d worked here. “That and makeup.”</p>
<p>Gavin slunk in, looking oddly downcast and not acting his usual self at all. It was funny how in two seconds I could immediately tell when there was something going on with him due to his habit of wearing his heart on his sleeve. As soon as he was not just quieter than usual but actually sad, it was quickly apparent.</p>
<p>He was followed closely by Geoff and Jack, the former of which shot me a smile that made me glow inside while he attended to emails on his PC as usual a few desks down from me, Jack sitting beside me at his own desk and offering me a warm breakfast burrito that he’d acquired on his way into work. Ah, he knew me so well. We were shot a look from Geoff who so far hadn’t said anything about food in the new office, but he didn’t comment so we perceived this as permission to continue. I wondered if he trusted us with food more than Gavin, Michael and Ray. I then realised that he absolutely did because anyone would.</p>
<p>“Ray in da houuuse!” Ray grinned as he entered the room and plonked himself down in his chair. “Had a great night last night with Tina. She’s so great. I don’t deserve her.”</p>
<p>He’d been dating her for a while, which was adorable because while he would joke about ‘having someone to bang’, we knew that his feelings went so much deeper than that in reality. He just didn’t really talk about it all that often.</p>
<p>Michael looked over at him before quickly responding, “She could probably could do better.”</p>
<p>“Probably true,” Ray laughed self-depreciatingly, though he didn’t mean any of it and nor did Michael.</p>
<p>Ryan was last to enter the room despite having walked to work with me, but as he sat down between Geoff and I at his own desk he winked at me, causing the colour to rise in my cheeks again.</p>
<p>
  <em>Dammit, every time.</em>
</p>
<p>I took a bite of my breakfast burrito right as Michael questioned what was wrong with Gavin, who literally hadn’t said a single word yet. In a surprisingly stand-offish tone, Geoff told them to ignore him because he was ‘being a grumpy asshole this morning’. As I glanced over at Gavin who looked plain defeated and was still silent, I got the weird feeling that the reason went much deeper than him not being much of a morning person and that Geoff’s comment, rather than being purely uncaring, was more of a defensive ploy to deflect the others from probing Gavin further.</p>
<p>“Dude, has someone died?” Ray asked, a little tactlessly.</p>
<p>“No.” Gavin stared at his monitor screen, clicking around it without saying anything more.</p>
<p>Michael and Ray exchanged looks before shrugging and giving up asking.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Heartbreak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s mid-2014-ish. A fluffy chapter for sure, but Gavin is an adorable puppy and I’m sorry he’s so sad. Also Lindsay &amp; Michael have a nerdy house party.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Big Note:</b><br/>Kdin is, as of December 2016 (according to the RT Wiki) transgender and uses the pronouns to refer to herself as ‘she/her’. Because this fic is set before then by a few years, the fic and the characters in it will still be referring to her as ‘he/him’. This is not through any kind of disrespect but just simply because it was prior to Kdin revealing her decision, and there are several videos in which the guys do refer to her as ‘he/him’ in the years leading up to 2016. It shouldn’t need to be said, but to be clear, I fully support Kdin and the trans community.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Saturday brought the promise of game night fun as I traipsed over to Michael and Lindsay’s house, where they were holding the party this month. Regardless of how much work we all had to do, we all always made the effort to make it to whoever’s house was hosting it to spend some outside-of-work time together as a group of friends, rather than purely colleagues. The weather had stayed consistently hot and the current temperature being a sweltering 35 C/95 F was making me feel like I wanted to melt into a puddle. It was a good thing they had air-conditioning in their home to avoid us all just sweating ourselves into dehydration.</p><p>Knocking and waiting, I held up the sodas and popcorn I’d bought as my contribution to the party right as Michael answered the door.</p><p>“Hey, nice, thanks!” he said, taking the cans and bags from me and allowing me inside.</p><p>The wave of cool air hit me instantly, eliciting from me a breath of relief.</p><p>“Heyyyy!” Lindsay called to me from the living room, where she was setting up tonight’s game. It usually wasn’t too complicated considering that for most people, alcohol would be involved heavily, so Pictionary it was.</p><p>Gavin, Jack, Ryan and Geoff were here already drinking various beverages, along with Jeremy, who had fairly-recently been hired into B-Team (at the same time as Matt, in fact) to edit and create Let’s Plays in Minecraft for us. He was shorter than average for a man I supposed – though built like a brick house –  and as a result had been nicknamed ‘Lil’ J’ by the others. He’d also brought along his long-term girlfriend Kat, who gave me a friendly but nervous smile.</p><p>Sometime later, Barbara arrived followed by Kerry, Steffie, Kdin and Jon, with everyone helping to add to the party atmosphere with various drinks and snacks. Ray turned up with his girlfriend Tina, who gave us a little wave and was introduced around. Michael, who had had the foresight as usual to sensibly order food, had made the call for a dozen or so pizzas with all different toppings to try to suit everyone, while Lindsay offered around drinks and caught up with various people she hadn’t seen in a while.</p><p>I perched beside Gavin who, like earlier in the week, was still sulking over something or other and still didn’t seem quite himself. It was in my nature to care though so naturally I couldn’t stop myself from asking if he was okay, but I was just met with a shrug of reply. A little sadly, I watched him as he shot me a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes.</p><p>“Hey, POPCORN!” Steffie yelled, her eyes lighting up as she attacked one of the several bags laying on the coffee table and offered some to Barbara too. Steffie was Achievement Hunter’s brand new, outgoing and bubbly social media manager and man, she sure knew how to light up a room with her laugh.</p><p>“Oooh!” Barbara added, tucking in as well, while Michael rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Guys, I ordered food…”</p><p>Pretty much nobody heard him, wrapped up in their own conversations and catch-up sessions. Ryan, Jeremy, Ray and Tina were discussing their dogs and other pets in depth, and Geoff was laughing kindly as Kat made an effort to get over her nerves and introduce herself, saying she’d been excited for this night to meet everyone but scared about it at the same time. Jon and Kdin seemed to be discussing art and graphic design in the corner, with occasional input from Steffie and Barbara.</p><p>Eventually the pizza arrived and there was a barely civilised scrabble to get to the slices. People had shuffled around to share the topping they preferred with someone different, including me who vastly preferred ham and sweetcorn over spicy beef or pineapple and as such ended up sharing with Geoff and Kerry.</p><p>“I can’t draw, by the way,” I spoke up with a grin. “Just warning you in advance in case you’re on my team in Pictionary.”</p><p>“Great,” Geoff laughed, taking a drink out of his beer bottle. “Me neither. Kerry, please tell me you’re a hidden talent.”</p><p>“Can’t do that, sorry,” Kerry replied, biting into another slice.</p><p>Geoff fixed him with a look. “You continue to disappoint me.”</p><p>Kerry snorted. “Sorry, <em>Dad.</em>”</p><p>I broke into giggles as Geoff grinned in amusement.</p><p>“Okay, four teams of four!” Lindsay announced once the food was finished, standing up and using her marker pen to point at people to split them into teams. “Team 1: Barb, Steffie, me and Kdin! You might wanna sit together.” They all did so, except for Lindsay herself who continued to coordinate first. “Team 2: Geoff, Ryan, Jack and Tina! Team 3: Michael, Gavin, [Y/N] and Ray! Team 4: Kerry, Jon, Lil’ J and Kat!”</p><p>There was a massive amount of gentle scuffling and people stepping over one another as everybody sat with their teams facing the blank flip chart in which we had to draw on.</p><p>“Do we need this?” Ray asked, holding up the actual board that was part of the game, covered in differently-coloured squares.</p><p>“Yep, we need to elect a team leader to move the pieces on the board as everybody plays,” Barbara said, taking it from him and laying it flat on the coffee table. “Who’s got the cards? Where’s the timer and dice?”</p><p>There was a pause until Kerry realised he was sitting right by the box with the rest of the game elements and handed it all over with apologies.</p><p>To start with, the game went relatively smoothly. Gavin seemed to perk up a little as he attempted to draw an action scene depicting what looked like a stick figure holding a bag of cats and looking angry about it. He was actually trying to describe the word ‘stress’ as it turned out, resulting in Michael yelling at him for not making it way more obvious and what the hell was with the cats? Gavin, in his usual way with a goofy smile, explained that the woman was ‘having kittens’, which was a term for being stressed out. As Ray stared at him dumbfounded, I facepalmed while Michael finished by saying,</p><p>“You’re dumb.”</p><p>Steffie managed to screw over her team of Lindsay, Kdin and Barbara by trying to draw a country wrongly as another country, confusing the whole room.</p><p>“Italy!” Barbara was calling out, staring at the boot-shape, but she was apparently wrong as Steffie shook her head furiously and then proceeded to draw a pole with lines on it, just to further baffle her teammates.</p><p>“Is that supposed to make it clearer?” Lindsay asked, cracking up. “What is that?”</p><p>Obviously unable to speak, Steffie drew a stick figure with a hat on that looked like a typical cartoon beret, causing Kdin to shout,</p><p>“FRANCE!” while everybody looked at him and then back at the board. “Is that pipe thing supposed to be a baguette?”</p><p>“YES!” Steffie replied, frustratedly, while everyone fell about laughing. “What?”</p><p>“You drew Italy, not fuckin’ France,” Geoff roared, doubled up.</p><p>“Oh shit. I did. God dammit.” Steffie handed her pen to the next team in defeat, although her team had still gotten their point all the same.</p><p>“That just looks like a god damned series of shapes,” Jack observed as Tina drew several circles and ovals with points on them. She then bewilderingly wrote, ‘quack’ next to them, though this didn’t clear anything up because what she had drawn was definitely not a duck.</p><p>“Maybe it’s a film?” Ryan suggested. “Is that supposed to be Donald Duck or something?”</p><p>Tina shook her head desperately and then drew some more ovals, which didn’t clarify anything. Ray begun to laugh commenting that he thought he might have the answer, but being on a different team meant that he wasn’t going to say what that answer was.</p><p>“Uhhh…” I mumbled, trying to see it from a different angle by tilting my head one way and then another.</p><p>She’d drawn a triangle now, with a tuft of hair, a face and a body, causing Geoff to shout, “Wait, I know this! That’s that cartoon show guy, Phineas and Ferb!”</p><p>While she nodded, they clearly hadn’t yet gotten the answer. She jabbed her marker pen on the collection of ovals and circles.</p><p>They didn’t get it. The answer had been ‘platypus’, but while she’d tried to draw an oval body with a beak and eggs, it wasn’t identifiable until you knew the answer and could then sort of squint to make it out.</p><p>“Jesus H. Christ, Tina,” Ray laughed as she sat back down. “That was terrible.”</p><p>“I know it was, but I tried,” she shrugged sheepishly.</p><p>This went on for some time, but the more alcohol that was passed around and consumed the less people seemed to care about the actual point of the game anymore, instead just drawing things for everyone to shout out their guess. Nobody was even tracking or giving out points now; the teams had broken up, with people sitting in different spots when they had left and then returned from the kitchen or bathroom and in the end we all just had a laugh at the expense of those of us – including me – that couldn’t draw at all.</p><p>It didn’t take long for old habits to die hard as the Wii U was busted out along with Mario Kart as people raced against either other and took turns cheering on others whilst helping themselves to more drinks. I struggled to even place third against Michael, Ray and Jack as they swept through the courses with ease but to be fair, they played it much more often than me.</p><p>Making my way upstairs to where I knew Michael and Lindsay’s bathroom was, I came face-to-face with Kat, who was doing a bit of a dance.</p><p>“You okay?” I asked her, frowning as she shuffled.</p><p>“There’s someone in there, they won’t come out. I’m gonna go use the other toilet downstairs. It was in use when I tried first time so I came up here, but maybe it’s free now…” she made her way down the stairs fairly rapidly as she spoke.</p><p>I rapped on the door with my knuckles. “Hello? I need to pee. Stop hogging the bathroom.”</p><p>The sound of a male voice replied my name in the form of a question, as if he was checking who it was.</p><p>“Yes, it’s me. Gavin?” What the heck?</p><p>I heard the door lock unclick and the door open ajar to permit me entry. I walked in, making sure to close it behind me and realised immediately that there wasn’t really enough space in here for two adults. “Why have you locked yourself in here?” I glanced around as he slumped back to the floor to sit by the toilet bowl, his big green eyes now filling with tears, much to my shock.</p><p>“I wasn’t feeling the party,” he replied in a somewhat choked and slightly slurred voice. “Wanted to be by myself.”</p><p>I nodded, waiting for him to explain, but he didn’t. Instead, he just stared into the toilet as if he was looking into a crystal ball and trying to tell his own future. Only after a further few minutes of me waiting patiently whilst playing with a loose thread on my denim short shorts did he say anything else.</p><p>“She dumped me.”</p><p>Wait. His long-term girlfriend Ellie had dumped him? “Is that what you’ve been upset about all week?” I perched uncomfortably on the edge of the white bathtub.</p><p>With a small nod, he continued. “’Other day I was really upset ‘cause she broke up with me. But today…she just…ad- admitted to me that she’d been with another bloke.”</p><p>My heart constricted within my chest - this had really broken him. Very rarely did Gavin ever cry, but he sure was now and it hurt to see him in this way since I’d always seen him as somewhat of a brother figure.</p><p>“Gav, you deserve better,” I said gently, reaching to rest a hand on his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. He promptly used the bottom of his navy blue t-shirt to wipe his eyes roughly.</p><p>“That’s what Geoff said.”</p><p>I smiled a little. “He’s right. Anyone who hurts you like this deserves to rot on their own.”</p><p>“Geoff said he’d kill her,” Gavin gave me a watery smile with a slight choked laugh. “Hope he doesn’t know where she lives, he might do it.”</p><p>I pursed my lips. “I can believe that, he sees you a bit like the son he never had.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Gavin hadn’t known his own father. Although he loved his mother, she lived back in rainy England and when he’d made the career decision to move to Austin, Texas all by himself, he’d consequently been hired by and given room and board by Geoff, who had seen great potential in him at a young teenage age. A decade on and they’d developed a strong friendship which had its ups and downs but was mostly, combined with his colleagues, precisely what Gavin needed out here – a second family.</p><p>Sympathetically, I watched as he begun to puke. Even at the age of twenty-seven, the poor lad still couldn’t hold his drink for toffee and even though he was older than me by a few years, it didn’t change the fact that I did, a lot of the time, see him as younger than me. It also didn’t help that he’d clearly had way more than usual.</p><p>A knock on the door made me jump a little.</p><p>“Hey, is someone still in here?”</p><p>“Just a sec, Barb,” I called back, recognising her voice. “C’mon Gav, let’s get you out of here at least.”</p><p>Nodding a little helplessly, he allowed me to help him up and I handed him some strips of toilet roll to wipe his mouth with. There was a spare bed in a small room to the left of the landing, which I helped him to before suggesting he should probably lay down and sleep this off. He was already sort of dozing off so it was lucky I’d gotten him there quick enough because I definitely wouldn’t have been able to carry him – or even drag him, probably – on my own.</p><p>“Is he okay?”</p><p>I turned to face the doorway where Michael was standing and looking concerned. “He will be, he’s just really drunk. He needs to sleep it off.”</p><p>“How much did he have?” Michael asked, frowning a little. “He gets drunk as shit a lot but this is something else.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” I confessed. “But he wouldn’t have remembered to tell me right if I’d asked him anyway.”</p><p>We left the room and closed the door behind us, leaving him to slumber until most likely tomorrow afternoon.</p><p>Downstairs, the party seemed to have escalated. Somebody had now switched on music to accompany the loud shouts and casual drunken gaming competitions that had spawned since my departure. With an admittedly smug smile, I noticed both Geoff and Ryan’s eyes sliding over my body and felt a sudden rush of confidence as I stepped forward to join Steffie, Lindsay, Kat and Tina in dancing in the middle of the room next to the people still playing on the Wii U. Truthfully, I’d worn my favourite cropped purple unicorn t-shirt and denim short shorts because it was hot as hell outside, but if the side effect was that I was causing them to stare at my legs, hips and ass too, well…that was fine too. I wondered if I’d have even noticed if recent events hadn’t taken place regarding my relationship with the two of them and right after, it struck me that this might have been the case for months. Man, I was unobservant sometimes.</p><p>We were soon joined in dancing by a very drunk Jeremy and Kdin much to our amusement, because neither of them could dance. But it didn’t matter that none of us could; we were all just messing about anyway, moving to the beat of the songs, singing the lyrics wrongly on purpose and having fun feeling exhilarated. Almost none of us here would be caught dead in a night club, but during a house party where we knew and trusted everyone here, we could let loose and be ourselves without shame.</p><p>“YES! I AM THE CHAMPION!” roared Jack, who had just won the game and reached for a beer to celebrate since he’d not had alcohol yet.</p><p>“Here, have a gold star!” Lindsay drunkenly laughed, trying to stick a drinks’ coaster to his chest, where it just dropped to the floor and made her laugh more.</p><p>“Man that was close!” Ryan commented as he glanced down the tournament leader board on the television screen.</p><p>“I would have won if I’d been concentrating more,” Ray added, with a sly smile and one arm now around Tina, who was looking sheepish.</p><p>As I made my way to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water to quench my thirst after all of the dancing and soda, I heard someone follow me in.</p><p>“You’re cute when you smile.”</p><p>I turned my head to see Geoff standing in the doorway, leaning a little in a slightly woozy way.</p><p>“I smile all the time,” I remarked, tilting my head a little in confusion as I filled a glass tumbler with water from the sink’s faucet.</p><p>“Not properly. Not like you did just now,” he replied, before sliding his hands onto my hips and placing himself directly behind me, like he’d done back in the storage closet. He smelled of whiskey, but I didn’t really mind.</p><p>With difficulty, I resisted closing my eyes and leaning back into him and instead, took a sip of water. “I guess you saw me happy rather than just amused.”</p><p>I felt him begin to kiss my neck again, something which he knew by now was pretty much my kryptonite.</p><p>“Someone could walk in at any second,” I pointed out, very aware of the fact that this three-way-relationship was being kept secret by all of us because of how people would probably react. There were only two people here who would likely be fine with seeing this and one was passed out on a bed upstairs and had no idea about the true dynamics of this relationship. The other was Ryan himself.</p><p>“Just thirty more seconds,” he murmured, his grip on me tightening slightly as though he didn’t want me to move away, his moustache and stubble brushing against the skin of my neck as I shivered a little.</p><p>I turned my head to look up at him behind me. “Geoff, seriously, anyone could-“</p><p>He’d moved his hand up to my neck, his fingers on my chin before he joined his lips with mine, ever-so-sweetly. “I like seeing you happy.”</p><p>I felt like I was fluttering inside, my face filling with colour as it dawned on me the extent in which he cared about me. Before I knew it, he had moved over to the fridge to raid it for snacks, which was lucky because Steffie walked in to get more beer for the living room with a cheery smile at that moment.</p><p>“Have you seen Gavin, by the way?” Geoff asked me casually as he gave up on the fridge idea and reached for a bag of potato chips instead.</p><p>“I saw him earlier, he’s sleeping upstairs,” I shrugged nonchalantly. “Too much booze.”</p><p>“Idiot,” Geoff rolled his eyes, but I waited for Steffie to leave again before I said anything else.</p><p>“I know about Ellie.”</p><p>Geoff hesitated before slowly looking at me with irritation written all over his face while he leaned against the counter. “He didn’t deserve to get hurt like that. He was committed to her. He loved her and she fucked him over.”</p><p>“I know.” I didn’t blame him for not telling me sooner that he knew exactly what the problem had been. It was Gavin’s business after all.</p><p>“She admitted it to him over the phone and expected him to forgive her and not give a fuck!”</p><p>“Oh God.”</p><p>“When he was upset, she fuckin’ left him. He’ll find someone better though,” Geoff finished, before shovelling a handful of chips into his mouth and proceeding to chew them more aggressively than I think I’ve ever seen someone eat something.</p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p>I couldn’t quite entirely understand what the lad was going through, but I could definitely empathise. To have someone breach your trust that badly after years of you thinking they’ve been totally honest with you must hurt like a stab in the gut.</p><p>***</p><p>Why did I seem to spend so much of my life nowadays waking up somewhere that wasn’t my bed? Fully clothed and slightly curled up, I’d slept on the sofa that night at Lindsay and Michael’s. It wasn’t that I couldn’t drive home due to alcohol, since I hadn’t had any - it was just that I’d felt too physically tired. Ryan, who had also stayed entirely sober as usual had stayed too, making me wonder if he’d done that because I had. Geoff had obviously been in no fit state to drive and with Gavin upstairs passed out, there was no hope of moving him before sunrise. The others had made their ways home via taxis mostly, but Jack had been under the limit to drive safely at just one small beer, so he’d kindly offered to drop some people off on his way home.</p><p>“Déjà vu,” Ryan whispered across the room at me from his place on the other sofa. “Second time I’ve seen you wake up on a couch.”</p><p>I glanced at the TV that was still on but had been muted, the time in the corner reading that it was only around six in the morning. Sleepily, I yawned and gazed across at Ryan. “I feel like I should stop doing that. Is anyone else up?”</p><p>“Not yet,” he replied, yawning too. “Geoff eventually passed out in the spare room with Gavin. They’re probably both on the bed fully-clothed, dead to the world.”</p><p>I grinned at this image. “Probably.” Closing my eyes again, thoughts of the previous night’s party danced across the insides of my eyelids and I smiled contentedly.</p><p>The contentedness I felt in the quiet would not be enjoyed for long; unbeknown to us, something had happened in the night that would shake our worlds up all at once and it would come in the form of a phone call later that day.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Shock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s mid-2014. I’m so sorry Ray. Also: VERSUS!<br/><b>Minor warning: non life-threatening character Injury</b></p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Hey, wake up!” Michael was shaking me urgently. I blinked sleepily, confused. What was happening? I swatted him off lightly while sitting up anyway, feeling my denim shorts dig into my waist a little unforgivingly as their protest to being slept in.</p><p>“Whaaaat?” I whined, wanting a good reason for such an abrupt awakening. Across on the other sofa, Ryan had clearly been awake for a while and had been watching TV, but he was currently staring at Michael as though he’d lost his mind.</p><p>“Geoff just got a phone call,” Michael said irritably by way of explanation to both of us. “Ray’s in hospital.”</p><p>Any drowsiness left me, cold dread replacing it as I ran a hand back through my hair in an attempt to brush it a bit with my fingers. “How? Why?”</p><p>“His place was broken into last night by a guy with a weapon.”</p><p>Oh <em>fuck</em>. He’d gone home last night and, like me, he lived alone.</p><p>“Did they say what state he’s in?” Ryan asked whilst standing up and reaching for his jacket right as Geoff stormed into the room like a hurricane in search for his bright red Vans shoes.</p><p>“They said he’s stable but wouldn’t tell me much more,” he said shortly before Michael could reply, retrieving his footwear from near the window and shoving his feet into them.</p><p>“I’ll drive some of us, but we’ll need to take two cars,” Lindsay spoke from the doorway, her red hair still wet from presumably having just showered. “Is Gavin up?”</p><p>“Yeah, he woke up while I was taking the call,” Geoff answered, already halfway out of the front door when Gavin tiredly made his appearance at the bottom of the stairs.</p><p>Despite riding alone with Ryan, I could still almost hear Geoff in Lindsay’s car, worriedly babbling. I was sure that in some way, he was probably feeling responsible for some reason despite it having nothing to do with him. I also knew that Gavin was probably as quiet as he got while Michael rationalised aloud by saying things like, “He’ll be okay, right? He has to be, the doctor wouldn’t have said he was stable if he wasn’t. Besides, he’s young, he’ll be fine…”</p><p>Ryan was stoic, almost to the point that I wanted to ask him if <em>he </em>was alright, though his knuckles were a little white on the steering wheel as we followed Lindsay’s car to the hospital. Not really wanting to prompt him to speak, I said nothing either and tried to stay positive as images of Ray laying in a hospital bed flashed before my mind’s eye right up until the moment we arrived and dashed inside. With only two people being allowed in to see him, we quickly decided Geoff and Gavin should go and the rest of us sat outside, waiting impatiently for an update. It didn’t take long for Jack to turn up too, asking us for details that we just didn’t have yet before sitting down with us in the waiting area in frustration and apprehension.</p><p>Nibbling on a fingernail in trepidation, I silently pleaded with whatever fates were out there that Ray was okay. Or at least, was going to be okay. Michael had said the thief had been armed, but what with? A knife? A gun? Had Ray been asleep at the time or had he just gotten home only to find someone climbing through his window?</p><p>Gently, I felt Ryan tug on my hand to stop me from biting my nails down to stubs in worry and proceeded to hold it still within his upon my lap. Gratefully, I glanced at him and squeezed his hand a little. I’d never quite been able to entirely shake the habit and though I hated it, I rarely noticed I was even doing it in times of anxiety. Suddenly aware that Lindsay had observed this, I pulled my hand away rapidly.</p><p>“He’s okay,” Gavin breathed suddenly, reappearing from around the corner. “He got hurt, knocked up a little, but the burglar wasn’t expecting anyone to be in because the lights had been off all evening with nobody moving in the flat.”</p><p>A collective sigh of relief audibly echoed around the room.</p><p>“He’s shaken up and the doctor thinks he has concussion, but he’s going to be alright,” Geoff finished, even smiling a little. “He’s lucky as dicks.”</p><p>“Is he awake then?” I asked hopefully. “Can we see him?”</p><p>Geoff shrugged. “The nurse might come and kick us all back out but fuck it. He’s down here.” He lead the way as we all followed, piling into Ray’s small room as the receptionist nearby gawped helplessly and tried to tell us to stop to no avail.</p><p>Propped up against pillows in bed and wearing the typical hospital gown, Ray smiled at the sudden appearance of everyone bundling into his room, even making a joke about not being ready for an orgy yet and we should all calm down. The left side of his face was pretty bruised as though he’d been punched, but other than that he seemed fine.</p><p>“God dammit, you’re gonna take the piss with this forever, aren’t you?” Geoff joked, able to comfortably do so now that he knew that Ray was totally fine.</p><p>Gavin grinned and put on a voice of imitation. “<em>Oooh, I’m Ray and I fought off a man in my house!</em>”</p><p>“Hey! X-Ray was there, where was Vav?” Ray defended himself with a laugh, putting his arms out with his palms up as if in question.</p><p>“Yeah, way to back up your superhero buddy there, dickhead,” Jack added. “What if it had been the Mad King?” He was of course referring to the villain in Ray and Gavin’s animated adventure.</p><p>“Hey, don’t involve me in this, I did nothing,” Ryan pulled his hands from his jeans pockets and held them up in innocence.</p><p>“Yeah, he was too busy jacking off a cow in a hole,” Geoff smirked, while Michael nodded in agreement.</p><p>“That’s a pretty mean way to refer to Gavin,” Lindsay commented, much to our amusement.</p><p>“Oi!” squawked Gavin in response as he stared at her in a betrayed way. “I’m not Edgar!”</p><p>“Yet.” Ryan winked at the shorter man, unable to help himself laughing when Gavin side-stepped away from him rapidly and nearly knocked Geoff over with his abrupt movement.</p><p>“Hey guys?” Ray said, his eyes travelling to the room’s little window, where he could see through the open blinds that the receptionist was on the phone nearby and was repeatedly glancing up at his door. “I think you’re all about to get in trouble.”</p><p>“Oh shit,” Jack mumbled as two nurses barrelled into the room and told us all to please leave because there were way too many of us here. Obediently we did as we were told, but not before I managed to squeeze in a quick hug for Ray first.</p><p>***</p><p>What had begun as being a prize of one fake WWE championship belt had turned into two belts and a small gold rooster trophy for our series of ‘Versus’, where one of us would challenge the current belt holder to a game of the challenger’s choice. This week, Lindsay had been queen for a couple of weeks as reigning champion, creating the atmosphere of determination for someone to finally win it off of her. Trevor, our recently-hired chief editor of Achievement Hunter and essentially leader of B-Team in their side office, was watching in quiet bemusement with his arms folded from the corner as Lindsay smugly wrapped both belts around herself and held the rooster trophy up.</p><p>“Bring it on!” she goaded, revolving to look at all of us confrontationally.</p><p>Michael was more determined than ever to take it from her, his competitive nature showing through vividly, but it wasn’t his turn to challenge the champion this week.</p><p>It was mine.</p><p>Carefully, I’d picked out a game and not in any kind of rush, because having very rarely won so far in the year or so we’d been doing this, I seriously wanted that title. It was less about the actual temporary prizes and more about the moral victory, alright?</p><p>Kdin and Caleb were filming us due to Lindsay being a main part of the series and as Geoff did his usual half-assed intro that frankly, the fans were used to and were even fond of at this point, I stepped over to my monitor to switch it on for the ‘big reveal’ of what game I’d chosen.</p><p>“Octodad: Dadliest Catch!” I announced with glee. “Fastest to complete level one wins!”</p><p>Lindsay burst out laughing. “Oh God, alright, okay, here we go I guess!”</p><p>Gavin spoke directly to the camera that Kdin was holding. “VERSUS!”</p><p>Geoff had loaned his console out for the competition so that we could play simultaneously to create more tension about who the winner would be. I knew that Lindsay had played the game a fair amount but so had I, so I was hoping that I’d be able to scrape the win. Most importantly, we both knew what to do in the first level, so it was just about doing it quickest.</p><p>“What even is this game? He’s an octopus!” Jack exclaimed, while it loaded for us both and we clicked into the first level, with the cartoon setting being that an octopus posing as a human was in a church trying to find his clothes in order to marry a woman.</p><p>“He’s totally human, what are you talking about?” I said sarcastically, as we agreed to go on the count of three, which Michael took the cue to do for us.</p><p>Playing consisted of most of us falling about laughing while Lindsay and I tried to desperately force Octodad’s limbs to cooperate with what I was trying to get him to do.</p><p>“C’mon, you’ve gotta win this, if only to get that belt back into the wild,” Gavin said, clearly on my side as he balled his fists. “You’ve got this!”</p><p>“Nah bitch, I’m gonna win this!” Lindsay replied quickly. Neither of us had time to glance at each other’s screens to see how the other was doing; we were far too intently focused on trying to get to the finish.</p><p>“Ohh, Lindsay just called Gavin a bitch, there’s a lot of big talk going on here,” Geoff spoke to the camera that Caleb was holding.</p><p>“And he’s not even competing!” Ryan laughed.</p><p>“Smash the window!” Gavin pointed at the stained glass window of Cthulhu wearing a bow tie behind a pile of wedding presents.</p><p>“Don’t need to break it, I only need-“ Lindsay began, but it was too late. The window broken, she grabbed the bow tie right before I did the same thing on my screen.</p><p>“Wait, where’s the wedding ring?” Jack asked, staring at the cartoony wedding chapel as I navigated through its doors.</p><p>“It’s in this box over here,” I replied, frantically trying to get Octodad over to it to rummage through it for the elusive diamond ring.</p><p>“Why is it in a fucking toybox?” Michael mocked. “In the middle of a church? That’s stupid.”</p><p>“This is a game about an octopus being a dad, I don’t think realism was on their minds when they made this game,“ Jack pointed out.</p><p>“Are octopi not fathers in real life, Jack?” Ryan frowned. “Also, why are those lines on the screen?”</p><p>“They’re the eyelines of people watching for how suspicious you’re being,” Gavin explained. “You have to blend in as best you can or the level kicks you out.”</p><p>“Blend in with <em>what,</em> you are so clearly an octopus right now,” Jack chuckled, watching Octodad on both of our screens scramble over pews and knock over everything with his tentacles.</p><p>“More importantly, is this human woman going to lay eggs after he impregnates her on their wedding night?” Michael demanded, his question bringing a horrifying image to all of our minds.</p><p>“Oh fucking hell, shut up,” I giggled, trying my best to focus through this ridiculous query. “Just stop.”</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, it’d be like some fucked up tentacle porn shit,” Geoff rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Eugh,” Gavin sounded disgusted as he pulled a face. “He’d have to stick his arm <em>right</em> up-“</p><p>“GUYS, SHUT IT,” I yelled, feeling tears prick at my eyes for laughing so hard. “I’m nearly there!” Successfully grabbing the ring that was the size of a bangle bracelet, I shoved it onto Octodad’s wife’s arm and dropped my controller on the desk in the thrill of the win.</p><p>“I dropped the ring,” Lindsay giggled, watching me stand up and motion for her to hand over the belts. “God dammit. Okay, I guess my reign of terror is over.”</p><p>Draping the belts over either shoulder and proudly holding the little gold rooster trophy up like Rafiki held Simba on the cliff edge, I triumphantly stood in the middle of the room as Kdin filmed me with a wide shot.</p><p>“Next week, it’s gonna be…uhhh…” Geoff hesitated, thinking about the order we usually went in.</p><p>“You,” Ryan helped him out.</p><p>“Oh yeah, me! Me versus [Y/N]!” Geoff finished, laughing as we cut. “One of these days I’ll remember the fuckin’ order.”</p><p>“We won’t hold our breaths,” Michael retorted, while the rest of us sniggered.</p><p>I hung the belts on the back of my desk chair and perched the rooster on my monitor stand smugly. Regardless of what some people would comment about me, my choice of game or my very existence as part of Achievement Hunter like they did unfairly to Lindsay sometimes, I was taking my victory, screw it.</p><p>“Well done,” Gavin lightly slapped my back in congratulations.</p><p>“Thanks, Gav,” I smiled in response as he returned to his desk across the room before he and Michael left the office to go off and record for their ‘Rage Quit’ series.</p><p>Over on the wall by the copious amounts of fan art we’d been sent over the years, there was a light switch that Geoff promptly flicked, which turned off the ‘ON AIR’ red light up sign outside our office door.</p><p>“Who wants to do AHWU with us later?” Jack offered, referring to the Achievement Hunter Weekly Update video that we regularly posted that featured opening fan mail and gifts, telling the fans what games were out that week and informing them who was going to be playing and streaming what. I shrugged, volunteering, since I was very rarely on it. It was something Jack hosted with Geoff and usually some of us would mill around in the background, but primarily we would only appear in-video if something had been sent in for us specifically. Ryan especially disliked the whole idea of the show, having never liked the idea of people spending money to send him things like that when they could be spending it in arguably more responsible ways. He’d also never really seen the point in publicly revealing our schedule.</p><p>“Cool,” Geoff replied, seemingly satisfied. “We had a letter sent in for you anyway so that’s convenient.”</p><p>“Really?” I asked, intrigued. It wasn’t the first time I’d personally gotten fan mail working here, but it didn’t happen often. Mostly fan mail was directed at us all as a whole or the more ‘popular’ of us such as Geoff and Gavin, so I was mildly excited to open something that had been sent just for me.</p><p>Using the kitchen’s microwave to zap a pasta pot for my lunch, I observed the small pile of plates already in the sink. Didn’t anyone ever wash up around here? I supposed that while my food was heating up I might as well get on with it, though I knew I wouldn’t get any recognition for doing so. Regardless, I got it done and dried my hands afterwards before taking my pasta pot and sitting at a bench in the main area of the building, where I was joined by Barbara. She looked a little stressed, her demeanour oozing irritability as she attacked her cheeseburger.</p><p>“Uh…are you okay?” I asked very gently, as though she might explode at any second.</p><p>“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, not sounding okay at all. “I didn’t sleep well last night. My boyfriend is being a tool. The usual.”</p><p>Her fiery response caused me to wonder whether I should leave her alone. But then, she had decided to sit with me rather than somewhere else.</p><p>“What’s he done now?” I asked, chewing my pasta. “Last you talked about him he was trying to get you to move in with him.”</p><p>“He still is,” she replied, sounding frustrated. “But not for the right reasons. He says it would be more ‘convenient’ for us. I’m not giving up my flat for a guy who’s basically just told me he wants me to live with him so he can have sex with me more often,” she shrugged. “I’m thinking about telling him to go fuck himself.”</p><p>I nodded, biting my lip in thought. “You sure that’s why? Did he actually use the word ‘convenient’?”</p><p>Barbara fixed me with her bright blue-eyed stare. “Oh yeah.”</p><p>Cringing a little on his behalf, I shook my head. “That sucks. Sorry Barb.” Why did everyone suddenly have relationship issues all over the place? Or was it just me, hyper-aware of them now that I was in one myself? “He sounds like a tactless idiot, but maybe he didn’t actually mean any harm by it.”</p><p>Pursing her lips, Barbara seemed to consider this for a second. “How would you respond? Are you seeing anyone?”</p><p>And there it was. I didn’t enjoy lying at all, especially since the guys had told me in the past that I had a very obvious tell that was usually related to either blushing or playing with my hair absent-mindedly with my fingers. When I was so aware that I did neither of these things on purpose, I would be so awkwardly rigidly still that they still immediately seemed to know what was up. I literally couldn’t win.</p><p>“Yeah,” I admitted, truthfully, pausing to ponder the scenario.</p><p>If Geoff or Ryan had asked me to move in with either of them, I probably would have turned them down for a few reasons; the first of which being independence. Sometimes, I really just needed my own space and the idea of living with someone yet was off the table for me personally. Socially, I needed somewhere to escape to and be alone for a while, especially in the line of work we were all in. Secondly, Ryan had young children (aged three and not-quite-one) from his last marriage that lived with him half of the time, leading to complications there. Geoff was also a father of a nine year-old who would probably suss very quickly from our body language that I was dating my boss, which I wasn’t sure either of us wanted to represent to her as a young girl. Eventually, somehow, the entire office and probably company would surely find out about my relationship with either one of them in approximately three days, tops. Gossip spread fast around Rooster Teeth.</p><p>“I’m in the same boat as you, wouldn’t want to give up my flat,” I agreed with her, deliberately not explaining my entire thought process.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s not unreasonable to think like that, right?” She asked, unwrapping her cheeseburger. “If he’d phrased it differently and told me he loved me or something I would think about it, but for him to use the word ‘convenient’…”</p><p>I nodded. “Yep, I know where you’re coming from.” Noticing the time, I wolfed the rest of my pasta down and disposed of the pot, waving bye to Barbara before returning to the office promptly and by the looks of it, just in time.</p><p>“Hey,” Jack greeted me, as Lindsay set up the tripod camera for AHWU. “I was about to come find you.”</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m here,” I smiled, walking over to the small pile of packages, envelopes and Jack’s sheet of A4 paper that he’d written the important updates onto for him to read out smoothly without forgetting anything.</p><p>Geoff lounged on a desk chair nearby, stretching with his arms up over his head, tempting me to poke his stomach at his peak-stretch. This caused him to jump and curl up abruptly in response. “Argh, you bitch!” He laughed, trying to get revenge by dragging me closer by the side of my hoodie to tickle me. I wound my way out of it and left him holding it as he decided it wasn’t worth getting to his feet and simply shook his head with a smile.</p><p>“I’ll getcha next time,” he warned, throwing me back my hoodie.</p><p>Although the camera wasn’t pointing his way in the slightest, Ryan was still at his desk focusing on editing something, headphones on as he paid us no attention.</p><p>We began, with Jack leading and reading off the updates to begin with, announcing that this week was a little more casual due to it being hosted in our main office. Geoff would occasionally insert his relevant comments while I stood out of shot for the moment, watching the pair of them open the more universally-addressed stuff.</p><p>“This one fan has sent us art,” Jack grinned, pulling it out of the ‘do-not-bend’ envelope and holding it up for the camera and therefore audience to see, before reading out the person’s name to credit them and we all bid them our thank-yous. This went on for a while with various letters and other fan art before he got to the chunky parcel. “This looks…exciting…”</p><p>He had been right to be hesitant. The box warned of sharp contents and actually contained a set of razor-sharp throwing knifes. As we leaned over to see them, I cocked my head to the side in curiosity having walked into shot.</p><p>“Can you even mail this kind of stuff?”</p><p>“I guess so,” Geoff replied, with raised eyebrows. “Fuck me, we are gonna <em>destroy</em> something with these.”</p><p>Immediately, Ryan turned in his chair and removed his headphones. Clearly, the lure of something potentially destructive and dangerous was too much for him to resist and had already plucked the packaged jet-black blades out of the box to examine them with great interest.</p><p>“Oh alright, ‘Ryan-The-Knife-Guy’,” I quoted the shirt we had had made on his behalf and sold in our merch store, where there was a space to insert whatever word you wanted between ‘Ryan The’ and ‘Guy’. Apparently, weapons were the only way to get him onto this show.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s gonna go well,” Geoff added, watching him. “Okay, letters. Here.”</p><p>I took the envelope he was offering on camera, remembering to turn slightly toward it while I read so as to involve the audience, as the others did. Unsealing it with my thumb and sliding the letter out, I unfolded it and began to read it aloud while Ryan freed the throwing knives from their protective packaging and Geoff watched him with slight concern.</p><p>“<em>Dear [Y/N] – You might not get this, I don’t know, but I want you to know that-</em>“ I stopped speaking swiftly as the rest of the sentence caught in my throat. My eyes scanned the page faster and faster, cold horror filling the pit of my stomach as I glanced up at the camera and then back to the letter in disbelief.</p><p>People could be so fucking cruel.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’ve spent far too long trying to decide if Geoff and Ryan are still fathers in this fic, but to be honest so much of who they are revolves around that, so Millie and Eli/Olivia will be written in at some point because they’re also actually adorable. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Reassurance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s mid-2014. AHWU! But sometimes fan mail isn’t fun.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“What’s up?” Lindsay asked me with a frown, being the only person to notice that I had begun to read the fan mail out loud and then stopped, while the three guys continued to fawn over the knives. “What does it say?”</p><p>I gawped stupidly in response, not knowing how to explain so I simply handed her the letter instead before walking off-camera and sitting down heavily in my desk chair to the side. This, the others <em>did</em> notice.</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jack asked me, looking between Lindsay and I as I scrutinised her reading the disgusting letter sent from a so-called fan, her brow furrowing in anger as she very firmly reached out to stop the tripod camera from recording.</p><p>“Why’d you stop filming?” Geoff asked, still oblivious as he glanced around.</p><p>“This is a veiled death threat with a load of insults thrown in,” Lindsay stated simply what I could not in that moment because I thought that I might throw up if I opened my mouth. “It’s horrible.”</p><p>Immediately, the atmosphere in the room changed as Geoff grabbed the page off of her with no hesitation in order to read it for himself. Ryan and Jack eyed it over either of his shoulders too and the further down they read, the more furious Geoff and Jack seemed to become.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Ryan asked me gently instead, his blue eyes full of concern.</p><p>“I…I just need a minute.” I could feel the tears prick at my eyes as they had earlier today, but this time they weren’t from laughing. “It…it said they know where I live. I’m freaked out.” Shakily, I focused on taking a deep breath as my pulse raced. I leaned my elbows on my knees, placing my head in my hands.</p><p>“They can’t know that for sure, right?” Lindsay said reasonably. “They’re just trying to provoke a response?”</p><p>“We need to address this,” Geoff said firmly. “We need to turn the camera back on and edit out [Y/N]’s distress to avoid giving this person the satisfaction, but make the message clear that this kind of fuckin’ bullshit won’t be tolerated.”</p><p>“Isn’t that giving them their reaction, though?” Jack argued. “I’m not downplaying this, but if we address them and single them out, won’t that cause a worse response and set a precedent?”</p><p>Ryan watched me as I struggled not to cry. “Come here, you need a hug,” he told me firmly.</p><p>Without needing to be told twice, I was on my feet and in his arms within seconds. He held me close, one hand on the back of my head and in my hair. Too upset to even care whether this was overly-affectionate in front of Jack and Lindsay, I tried not to ruin his beige t-shirt with my eyeliner. I’d always thought I was pretty resilient to the crap that got said on the internet about all of us and for a long time I’d gone without even reading comments on our videos to avoid any hate, but I guess it had finally caught up to me <em>hard</em>.</p><p>“We should address it this once,” Geoff tried to compromise with Jack. “And make it clear that after this: never again. Not just to this one person but for anyone.”</p><p>“Let me just…let me just clean myself up,” I sniffed, pulling away from Ryan and trying not to show that I was reluctant to do so. “I don’t want to look like I’ve been crying.” I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes with my hoodie sleeve.</p><p>“You don’t have to be in the video.” Geoff’s sympathetic eyes met my watery ones. He, in his time here, had had similar threats but he’d learned to ignore them and shut them out far more effectively than I had, clearly. “It might be better if the person who sent this doesn’t even know you got it.”</p><p>Lindsay nodded with a small, reassuring smile. “We can easily edit you opening it out so it looks like we just intercepted it for you on your behalf. This sicko doesn’t need to be given the satisfaction of seeing you after you’ve been shaken up.”</p><p>After a moment I nodded, accepting this. I probably wouldn’t be able to clean up well enough to convince anyone that I hadn’t been perturbed by a letter calling me several names, directly saying I had no right to be here, that I shouldn’t be alive anymore and that they knew where I lived, anyway. While the initial unpleasant shock had somewhat worn off, I was left feeling pretty irritated at myself for letting it get to me so much.</p><p>“Come sit over here with me,” Ryan said in a tone that implied I shouldn’t argue whilst leading me over to the sofa and wrapping me back up in a hug there while the others continued filming.</p><p>“Hey guys, this week’s Achievement Hunter Weekly Update is a little different. While we were opening the fan mail today, Jack and I came across something that caused us great disappointment,” Geoff spoke directly to the camera as Lindsay recorded them afresh. “A member of our team received a death threat via a letter.”</p><p>I noticed he didn’t mention who, which I was fine with. Ryan’s hand had found its way back into my hair again and was softly stroking it as I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing to calm down. I shouldn’t care so much about hate mail, I really shouldn’t. It was part of being in the limelight; with all of the good sometimes came bad too. It happened to all of us, unfortunately.</p><p>Jack continued. “We want to be perfectly clear that this is obviously not acceptable and we will not tolerate anything further in that regard. Thankfully, the team member didn’t receive the letter, but rest assured that we won’t entertain any further hate mail. With that out of the way, let’s continue to show you guys what we have this week!”</p><p>As they continued with the mail across the room, Ryan whispered down to me, “You’re not going home tonight, you’re staying at mine.”</p><p>Under normal circumstances and perhaps in a different setting, this would probably have slightly aroused me as I remembered what happened the last time I spent a night with him, but currently all I felt was relieved at the prospect of not going back to my apartment to be alone somewhere that a psychopath possibly knew the location of. “Thank you,” I mumbled.</p><p>“Of course.” He squeezed me, before pausing. “Any excuse to get you into my bed.”</p><p>I snorted, lifting my head to look at him with amusement. “Really, Rye-bread?” I mockingly demanded. “Now?”</p><p>“Hey, I got you to smile!” he smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Admit that at least.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I conceded, moving off of him and sitting forward on the sofa, nodding subtly over to the others when he shot me a questioning look as to why I’d moved.</p><p>“They’re not paying attention to us,” Ryan spoke quietly as he shrugged, playfulness in his eyes, but I wasn’t having it.</p><p>“We already pushed this,” I whispered, smoothing my hair back down with my hand where he’d ruffled it a little bit. “I’m grateful because I genuinely needed a hug, but…”</p><p>“You were upset, I was being a good friend,” Ryan said in a would-be innocent voice. “Cuddling doesn’t mean we’re fucking.”</p><p>“Yes…but…we are,” I replied stupidly, feeling my face flush at his blunt statement as I twisted to look at him. “You’re not normally a cuddly guy, let’s be honest. You start doing this a lot and people are going to notice.”</p><p>“Exceptional circumstances?” He suggested and tilted his head a little, still with the same smile on his face.</p><p>“God dammit, Ry.”</p><p>With AHWU eventually finished up, Lindsay glanced over at me. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. It’s not worth being hung-up about, honestly,” she told me earnestly. “It’d shock any one of us but you’ve got all our support.”</p><p>“What she said!” Jack called out sweetly in the background, having heard her words too as he began organising the new stuff we’d been sent, including the throwing knives, on our shelves and bookcases within the office.</p><p>Touched, I merely nodded.</p><p>“Also, none of that bullshit is even remotely true,” Geoff told me, plonking down on Gavin’s empty desk chair in front of Ryan and I. “You definitely deserve to work here and you have as much right as anyone else on the planet to be alive. That dickhead doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.”</p><p>My face must have lit up slightly in appreciation because he visibly brightened little too.</p><p>I heard the door shut as Jack and Lindsay left the room, leaving us to speak freely for at least a few minutes. Geoff leaned sideways to check before officially deeming the coast to be clear.</p><p>“She’s staying with me tonight,” Ryan stated immediately.</p><p>“Okay, good. I have Millie this week, so…” Geoff trailed, implying that to be the reason I couldn’t stay over.</p><p>I nodded in understanding. “It’s totally fine.”</p><p>“You can stay over next week when she’s back with Griffon,” he continued, referring to his ex-wife and his daughter’s mother.</p><p>“Thanks,” I smiled. “I’ll definitely take you up on that offer.”</p><p>“My two are with me this weekend,” Ryan remarked, in what I noticed was a pretty wistful way. “I miss them so much.”</p><p>Geoff nodded in agreement. “It’s tough, dude.”</p><p>It had been less than a year since Ryan had gotten divorced and although it was years longer ago for Geoff, the two of them often united over their love for their respective children, even when they clashed about most other things. It was incredibly adorable, but it wasn’t something I could really partake in considering I had no children of my own. Thankfully both divorces, though no doubt painful all the same, had been amicable. Geoff would usually have Millie every other week, with Ryan having Olivia and Eli on differing days each week because of his ex-wife’s work schedule.</p><p>“Anyway,” Ryan cleared his throat.</p><p>It took me a second to realise he was wanting to change the subject to avoid getting too emotional. “Thanks, both of you. Seriously.”</p><p>“Sure,” Geoff nodded as his phone buzzed. He dug it out of his jeans pocket and read the screen briefly before shoving it back in. “That was Ray, I told him to take it easy. He’s out of hospital tomorrow but I told him not to come back to work for a few days. His girlfriend’s going to drive over to take care of him. We didn’t see this in hospital but his ribs are pretty bruised as well as his face.”</p><p>“Ouch,” I cringed as the two men regarded me. “I’m glad he’s got Tina though. It doesn’t seem fair that I’m getting all of this attention from you two only for him to be on his own. He’s the one that got physically beaten up.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not sure Ray would appreciate me giving him an affectionate cuddle for any extended period of time,” Ryan smirked, reaching to run the palm of his hand down my back as Geoff grinned.</p><p>“Do we know that for sure?” I squirmed away from Ryan a little, ticklishly.</p><p>“I’m pretty certain,” Ryan laughed.</p><p>“Look, I know we agreed on an open relationship between us three, but I don’t think Ray and Tina would want to be included,” I joked, holding my hands up.</p><p>“Eh, you’re probably right,” Geoff pretended to reluctantly agree. “By the way…” His eyes travelled across my face quickly. “You look like a panda.”</p><p>I glanced at Ryan, who pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows in a ‘you do, he’s right’ kind of way.</p><p>“Aw shit,” I giggled, as I wiped my eyes on my sleeve yet again, in an effort to get it off my face. I could always wash my grey hoodie, but I couldn’t look like <em>this</em> for the rest of the day. Sure, I could have gone to the bathrooms to clean up but I really didn’t want to leave this cosy little bubble right now.</p><p>“We should probably get some work done,” Geoff sighed, looking like he didn’t particularly want to.</p><p>“Yeah, probably,” Ryan agreed, with a similar tone of voice as he glanced over at his PC monitor.</p><p>Mischievously, I looked between them. “Or…we could just all sit here for a while and cuddle until somebody comes back into the room, essentially forcing us to stop.”</p><p>“That sounds good, I never stopped for lunch anyway.” Grinning, Ryan single-handedly pulled me back down into his arms, where my head came to rest on his upper chest.</p><p>With a slight pout that he then immediately attempted to hide, Geoff left the swivel chair and sat himself down on my other side, also leaning against me with his heavily-tattooed arm draped across my side. “Don’t leave me out.”</p><p>I could have stayed like that forever.</p><p>***</p><p>Ryan’s place was pretty normal. Really, I shouldn’t have been surprised since he wasn’t actually the psycho monster that his internet persona made him out to be sometimes, mostly due to comments he would make tied in with acting and voice acting bits he’d done for a few of the company’s productions. If we were talking about his Grand Theft Auto character’s personality he’d probably have a bloody dungeon with dead people hanging from the walls in chains, but he was thankfully about as far from that as a man could be in real life.</p><p>It was fairly big, though that was because it had been his family home before he’d gotten divorced. Laurie had moved out, leaving him with the house that still served to have enough space for their children when they came to stay. As such, it still looked fairly lived-in by more than just him, with picture frames of him and his children on the mantle and various toys jotted about that he’d not gotten around to tidying away. It was endearing.</p><p>Apologetically, he waved his hand and told me not to trip over anything because his kids were there just yesterday until this morning, but I just shook my head with a smile, noticing his thin-framed glasses folded up on the coffee table by a book. It was amazing how he could be such an obvious ‘dad’ one second and switch to be the Ryan we knew in the office the next.</p><p>Following him through to his kitchen, I watched as he pulled a can of Diet Coke out of the fridge and offer me one too, which I took and opened gratefully.</p><p>“How is your blood not just Diet Coke at this point?” I joked, sipping from my can and leaning against the wall as I did so.</p><p>He cast me an entertained smile. “I have no idea. Maybe it is. That would certainly explain a few things.”</p><p>Thoughtfully, I took another sip, noticing through the kitchen window that it had begun to rain heavily outside against the inky sky.</p><p>“Maybe it’ll storm properly,” Ryan said in an off-hand sort of way as he too watched the rain begin to pelt the glass, before glancing at me quickly. “Oh…I forgot you’re afraid of those, right?”</p><p>Merely nodding, I shifted and crossed my ankles, putting my weight on the wall almost completely whilst messing with the ring tab on the top of my can with my fingers.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s going to be that bad,” he said dismissively, removing his black Achievement Hunter beanie hat and running a hand back through his hair as he often did to neaten it. “Damn we worked late tonight.”</p><p>“There was a lot to get done,” I shrugged, but he was right. We hadn’t been the only people left in the building this time, but we also hadn’t stopped until the clock had hit ten, with it now being around eleven because we’d dropped in to a pizza place on the way back to grab a bite to eat.</p><p>Finishing his Coke, Ryan threw the can into the bin and I did the same, but now I had nothing to hold or fiddle with and I could feel the nerves kicking in as I instead went to bite my thumbnail.</p><p>“Do I make you nervous?” Ryan asked, curiously, observing me.</p><p>“Well…the last time we were together alone, you told me I’d need a ‘safe word’ for next time. So…”</p><p>With slight pause, he seemed to recall that conversation before a mischievous smile spread across his face. “Oh yeah. You should probably pick one.”</p><p>And fuck me if he didn’t then fold his toned arms in expectant wait.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Desire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s mid-2014. Ryan has his way with you. This chapter is a little shorter, but I didn't want to artificially extend it so here we are. :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning</b>
</p>
<p>Consent is sexy. Also condoms: always be safe. I just don’t tend to write them in. This is probably the most explicit thing I’ve ever written. Go easy on me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Trying not to succumb to his intense, devilish stare, I wracked my brains.</p>
<p>“Um…” I recalled the conversation we’d had at length that night about dominant and submissive relationships, even in the more casual sense. It needed to be something I would remember and that I wouldn’t be likely to say in the bedroom otherwise. My sense of humour automatically kicked in to push past my nerves, but I suppressed it. “Red?” I didn’t tell him that I’d really wanted to jokingly say ‘Diet Coke’.</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” Ryan nodded. “You say that at any point and I will back off, no judgement or hesitation.”</p>
<p>“Okay…?” I replied with a slightly inquisitive tone, wondering just exactly how far he was planning on going. Or was it a case of him pushing the boundaries until I told him to stop? It crossed my mind that I would never know with some experiences whether or not I’d enjoy them until I was actually involved in them and made the resolve to just trust him, no matter how new this all was to me.</p>
<p>And with that, he was in the hallway and climbing the stairs, giving me a look that indicated that I should follow him. So, with my legs feeling a little bit like jelly, I did.</p>
<p>“You surprised me last time by coming at me and kissing me first,” Ryan smirked as we entered his bedroom, the navy bedcovers on the double bed surprisingly neatly arranged. “But this time, we’re going to go nice and slow.”</p>
<p>Sure that he could probably hear my heartbeat, I just gazed at him, wondering why in the years I’d known him that I’d never paid attention to how damn attractive he was before fairly recently. Perhaps the wedding ring he’d previously worn for years had had the unintended effect of blinding me to it.</p>
<p>“Lie down.”</p>
<p>And there was that commanding tone that had reappeared like on our prior night together, the kind of tone that you didn’t argue with no matter how quietly or softly it was used.</p>
<p>I did as I was told.</p>
<p>“I noticed that you seem to like a certain amount of pain,” he stated simply, as though he were talking about his grocery list in a supermarket. He had partially straddled me, his knees either side of my hips and his calves pinning me in place as he pushed my t-shirt up enough to reveal my bra and exposing my entire abdomen in the process.</p>
<p>I wondered how the hell he was going to remove my bra when I was laying on my back, thinking along the lines of how he’d pinched my nipples before but I was wrong in my thought process. Ever-so-slowly, he dragged a single fingernail all the way down the skin of my now-bare side, hard enough to leave a white line that would fade to a faint red one. Gasping as it burned a little, I squirmed, unable to actually get away from it as he repeated it again horizontally across my midriff.</p>
<p>“Wonder if I could write my name across you?” he smirked playfully, before using all four of the fingernails on his left hand and raking them down my other side.</p>
<p>I yelped slightly, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was so clearly already turned on as all hell as he repeated it again, alternating where. Desire burned within me as I watched him then begin to undress me, pulling my t-shirt up over my head as I lifted my upper body to rest on back on my forearms. He tossed my shirt aside and deftly unhooked my bra, dropping that off the edge of the bed also, before leaning down to gently lick my right nipple tantalisingly.</p>
<p>He felt my body relax slightly beneath him as he sucked lightly, but I should have known better than to do that because the next thing he did was softly nip at my nipple with his teeth.</p>
<p>“Fuck, Ryan!” I groaned, tensing up again at the sudden twinge of pain, which disappeared almost instantly and was replaced by a rush of pleasure.</p>
<p>I watched him switch to my other nipple, smirking at me all the while as though daring me to challenge him, clearly enjoying my inability to move very much in response to his actions. He waited longer this time, to the point where I almost thought he might not do it anymore, but I was wrong. Again, he swirled his tongue a few times right before he nipped with his teeth, eliciting a whine out of me that was followed quickly by another whine as he did it a third time.</p>
<p>“Jesus, you have got to stop doing that,” I said breathily, without really meaning it.</p>
<p>He chuckled. “Did you just try to tell me what to do?”</p>
<p>I bit my lip, almost forgetting to breathe as I met his eyes. “No…”</p>
<p>“And now you’re lying to me,” he murmured, despite having manipulated the situation in his favour. “Look as innocent as you like, I know you’re not.” And he’d gone back to pinching my nipples with his fingertips.</p>
<p>Moaning, I arched, but no matter how much I did this he barely relented, varying the pressure and watching me writhe.</p>
<p>“Are you going to behave?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Y-yes,” I nodded, at this point just wanting to please him. While it stung somewhat, it was completely bearable in a strange kind of way.</p>
<p>“We’ll see.” He didn’t sound convinced but he yielded and let go before sliding my jeans and panties down my legs and discarding them, turning then to open the drawer of his bedside cabinet for something.</p>
<p>Now completely naked, I watched with trepidation as he brandished a bundled length of soft black rope. Oh <em>god.</em> When he’d mentioned it last time, he’d really meant it. I should have known he wouldn’t have made an empty threat.</p>
<p>“I’m only going to tie your wrists to the headboard,” he told me softly, seeming to notice my wide eyes and doing just that as he skilfully tied and looped the rope in a way that would reduce strain on my wrists should I pull at it. Arms stretched above my head and wrists secured together now, I felt more helpless than ever as he smirked, finished, his eyes trailing right the way over my body as he drank me in.</p>
<p>Then he pulled a small flip knife out of the drawer, flicking it open as he did so. How very Ryan-Haywood of him.</p>
<p>“Ry, what-“ My heart had jumped to my throat. So much for me thinking I totally trusted him.</p>
<p>“Relax, it’s only to cut you free quickly if you need me to,” he chuckled, “but it’s cute that you get so nervous.” He traced his finger in a line lightly down between my breasts lightly using the hand that wasn’t holding the knife, watching my face betray my mind whirring through several different emotions at once as he enjoyed the moment. Ticklishly, I wriggled a little and watched him place the knife on the surface of the night stand.</p>
<p>Scolding myself internally a little at my jumping to conclusions but with my heart still thumping almost painfully fast, I watched him undress; shirt first, then jeans, finally boxers. Despite this, he did not straddle me again.</p>
<p>“Open your legs.”</p>
<p>Colour rose in my cheeks as I did so, but he didn’t seem to notice for once because the first thing he did was lean down to work his tongue on my pussy, his palms ensuring that my thighs remained apart. I was already wet as hell from his actions already tonight, but this took the cake.</p>
<p>As if on cue, he met my eyes again. “So, all I need to do to make you hot is hurt you a little, tie you up and then scare you a bit? Noted.” And then he continued, causing me to just moan helplessly as he teased and provoked more responses from me with his tongue. If I weren’t so aroused, I would have rolled my eyes at him for being such an arrogant ass. Even though he was right.</p>
<p>I strained a little against the ropes, closing my eyes and feeling myself getting dangerously close to orgasming already. Without thinking, the words, “oh god please” left my mouth.</p>
<p>With no reply other than a smile, Ryan stopped and straddled me swiftly, leaning down to kiss the side of my face as I tilted my head sideways. I was very aware of how hard he was at this point.</p>
<p>“Aw, were you close?” he taunted softly, his stubble tickling my neck.</p>
<p>“Yes,” I breathed, as he began to kiss there.</p>
<p>“It’s too bad for you that I’m in control then, isn’t it?” He nipped the skin of my neck with his teeth. “I think I want you to beg me for it.”</p>
<p>And with that, he had shifted, indicating that he was going to fuck me now. I willingly bent my knees for him instead of keeping them flat on the bed and he took the opportunity to ease himself into me, causing me to groan with need and once again pull at the ropes that bound my wrists together a little.</p>
<p>The thrill and gratification of how he would give me what I wanted when I whimpered for him was driving me crazy; his own quiet moans wrapping me up in a world of bliss as his eyes closed and he was biting his lower lip again as I begged for it harder and he obliged relentlessly. I was out of breath because it was so god-damned <em>good</em> and he was running his fingers gently down my side again, leaning his weight on his other hand but my mind was racing so hard that I didn’t connect the pieces until he’d already raked his nails down the skin of my bare side yet again.</p>
<p>“Holy fuck,” I responded in a whimper, the fiery heat of the scratches heightening my arousal drastically.</p>
<p>“Mm, make that noise again for me,” Ryan simpered, repeating his actions and making me whimper again more loudly by doing it harder this time. I was fairly sure that I was going to have red lines all over me for a while.</p>
<p>His thrusts increased in pace at this point and through the haze of pleasure I wondered how close <em>he </em>was. As if in answer to my question, he groaned a little and did something I did not expect at all – he pulled out of me.</p>
<p>I whined a little. “Ryan, why-?”</p>
<p>“I’m not done playing with you,” he replied, his eyes devilish as he adjusted his position again slightly and reached down between my legs with his hand, causing me to buck my hips into it with the desperate need to orgasm as I absorbed the fact that he was just <em>that </em>much of a damn fucking tease. “Beg.”</p>
<p>Playing along with his game, I looked him in the eyes, willing to do whatever I could to make him give in to me, pulling almost painfully at the ropes with my arms and wrists as I was tantalised by his wandering fingers.</p>
<p>“Please,” I whined. “Please, I really need it.“</p>
<p>“Need what?” he smirked mockingly.</p>
<p>Still in the throes of submission, I finally mentally gave myself over to him fully. “Please Ryan, please make me come.”</p>
<p>His fingers found more of a pace on my clit, but it still wasn’t enough to quite get me there, resulting in my desperate moaning. “Ryan, p- please…”</p>
<p>“Hm, I don’t know…” he whispered, tormenting me by taking his fingers away completely.</p>
<p>“I’ll do anything,” I stated, before my brain processed exactly what I had promised. “Please just…<em>please</em>.” I squirmed, my eyes pleading.</p>
<p>“You really shouldn’t say things like that to me,” Ryan raised an eyebrow before leaning down to kiss my lips, as though promising he was going to hold me to that.</p>
<p>Thankfully, he returned his fingers to my clit at that point, stroking once again as I moaned softly.</p>
<p>I was too far gone. I literally, at that moment, would have done anything. “Oh god, please, yes…”</p>
<p><em>Fuck. </em>I spiralled into ecstasy, from both the idea that he had chosen when I was allowed to orgasm and the way that he was watching me with that lustful look in his eyes while I was unable to help myself from screaming his name and writhing, twisting the sheets under me.</p>
<p>“What do you say?” He teased as I slowly began to relax again, reminding me of who was still in charge.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I replied meekly, breathing heavily as I remembered that he was still hard as he reached to untie me. Free now, I shook the ropes off onto the bed and sat up into a kneeling position before he could stop me. He regarded me in a way that implied he was wondering what I was going to do next but said nothing.</p>
<p>With deliberate force, I pushed him down so that he was laying right where I just had been – during which I got the impression that I’d only been able to do this physically because he’d cooperated – before leaning down and lowering my mouth down over his dick. I took in as much of it as I could without choking while he swore and mumbled my name. Trying not to smile, I began to work on him, tasting myself and him all at once as I did so, using a hand to aid me in pleasuring him.</p>
<p>His hand was in my hair but with no force behind it, encouraging but not driving as he groaned and watched me with such hunger that I wondered if he was going to stop me and fuck me again. Still I continued, wanting him to come too. He warned me that he was close, but I just gave him an innocent smile and carried on, giving him the go-ahead to not hold back. Almost dutifully, I swallowed everything he gave as his head went back against the pillows in gratification, his eyes closing.</p>
<p>“Fucking hell,” he groaned, pulling me down to lie beside him with my head on his chest. “You’ve done that before.”</p>
<p>It had been years, but he wasn’t wrong.</p>
<p>“You,” I said in a voice that implied I wanted to have words with him, “are a right fucking tease.”</p>
<p>“And yet, you’d do it all over again,” he said lightly as he stroked my hair, a playful smile on his lips.</p>
<p>He wasn’t wrong. Why was he never wrong? God fucking dammit.</p>
<p>“So, about doing <em>anything</em> for me,” he continued, his voice implying that he was about to proposition me as I closed my eyes in slight dismay.</p>
<p>“You remembered about that, huh?” I joked, tracing circles on his chest absently.</p>
<p>“Next time I catch you on your own at work, I’m taking you to the nearest closet.”</p>
<p>Just when I thought he couldn’t surprise me more, he had. “You want to have sex at work? What if we got caught? What if someone literally walked in on us?”</p>
<p>“That, right there, is why I suggested it,” he smirked. “And why you know you want to take the risk too, for the thrill.”</p>
<p>Well.</p>
<p>He wasn’t wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Crush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You and the guys play 'Gmod: Prop Hunt' and there’s something up with Lindsay. Gavin gets flustered over a girl.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Whilst clutching my coffee as usual and ambling over to sit at my desk, I checked my phone for my schedule. Today was a ‘Gmod: Prop Hunt’ recording for our Let’s Play series and I was kind of excited, truthfully. Pretending to be random inanimate objects and watching people shoot random things around you to try to figure out what you were disguised as (and thus kill you) was way more entertaining than it probably should be.</p><p>We’d paused for lunch, but a few of us had bought beverages back with us. Ryan of course had his usual Diet Coke, Jack and I with coffee, Gavin and Geoff with a beer apiece and Ray, who was thankfully back at work, leading to us to first asking if he was actually okay before then ridiculing him and teasing him endlessly about being ‘babysat by Tina’ for the last few days. Michael was busy with something Lazer Team related, leaving an even number of us to play the game with. This was fortunate because B-Team were incredibly busy and didn’t really have time to donate to us to balance out the two teams today. With Jack, Geoff and Ryan on one side playing the hunters to begin with, Gavin, Ray and I were on the other as we tried to coordinate this in-game.</p><p>“I don’t know what to be!” Gavin yelled as he navigated through the building trying to find something particularly inconspicuous to possess.</p><p>“What button do you hit again?” Ray asked as I watched him enter the room I was in in-game and mash his keyboard.</p><p>“E to become something,” I told him, having done that a few seconds earlier and was now sitting as a bed frame with mattress atop it.</p><p>“Oh right, okay. I’ll take this then I guess,” Ray replied, choosing the wooden wardrobe.</p><p>“We’re coming for ya,” Geoff warned us with a grin as the timer expired and the hunter team was mobilised.</p><p>Gavin let out a slight panicked squeal before going, “Okay I’m good. I’m good.”</p><p>“Little last minute there, Gav?” Ray quipped.</p><p>“Are any of you this dryer?” Jack asked, shooting it and observing his health. If it decreased, it meant that he wasn’t shooting a hidden player and would continue to injure himself until death. This effectively only gave the hunters only a limited amount of shots to find the ‘prop players’ and prevented them from just opening fire on everything in a room.</p><p>“I’m not,” I smiled, shuffling my position over a little to fit in better with the other beds in the room.</p><p>“Did that banana just move?” Geoff asked suddenly, staring at it. “This game is making me crazy.”</p><p>“No absolutely not,” Gavin said firmly, before running off as said banana as soon as Geoff had turned his back.</p><p>“God fuckin’ dammit, that <em>was</em> you!” Geoff gave chase, while Jack entered the bedroom to observe its furnishings.</p><p>I held my breath a little, not daring to do anything for fear of being caught. The thing was though, if he did discover me, I would only have so much health. And as soon as he knew the bed frame was a player he would not stop shooting, resulting in me being forced to move and try to escape, or die and risk our team losing the round.</p><p>“I see you, banana!” Ryan laughed at the moving fruit, also now chasing Gavin while he screeched and tried to get away from his pursuers.</p><p>Jack was firing test shots at seemingly everything in the bedroom, but he mercifully missed me entirely. He did catch the wardrobe, but wasn’t paying enough attention to his health and consequently didn’t notice Ray altogether.</p><p>I giggled at this fail. “Oh Jack.”</p><p>“What?” he asked obliviously, having left the room in-game.</p><p>“Never mind,” I beamed gleefully at him on my right in real life.</p><p>“There’s gotta be some fucker in here,” Geoff muttered, having also entered the bedroom. “Did anyone check the beds?”</p><p>“I killed Gavin!” Ryan announced triumphantly, as Gavin whined at his defeat, leaving the prop team with just two team members left alive.</p><p>“Yeah, I think so,” Jack replied, now upstairs checking the couple of dozen oil barrels in the attic.</p><p>Somewhat untrustingly perhaps, Geoff was firing test shots at various objects in the bedroom regardless of his teammate’s words, but this time I did get hit and he noticed immediately. “Gotcha! …No, come back you bitch!”</p><p>“Nope!” I was a bed on the run - squeezing through the door with great difficulty and escaping down the hallway, where I quickly switched objects to a bookcase. I’d taken a lot of shots and was very nearly dead, but so long as I wasn’t rediscovered, I could still win this for the prop team.</p><p>“Oh shit, I thought I checked everything!” Jack cursed.</p><p>“Did ya though?” Ray taunted him, still a wardrobe in the very room that had now been investigated by two hunters.</p><p>Gavin, who had been spectating me since his in-game death, was hysterically laughing. “Geoff, how did you lose her just now? A bloody great bed fleeing down the hallway?”</p><p>“She turned into something else, I didn’t fuckin’ see!” Geoff shot back, frantically trying to shoot objects he thought I might be in this new room, but he wound up killing himself by shooting too many non-player items, depleting his health to zero. “Well I’m dead.”</p><p>“Wait, I think she’s that bookcase,” Jack said accusingly, having spied me transforming into my new object at the last second before shooting at me and having his suspicions confirmed. “Yep!”</p><p>With nowhere to go, I was killed very rapidly, but Ray was still in the game and he was being the best wardrobe anyone had ever been. “Damn, this lion is really getting on my nerves, man. And whoever this deer guy is, he’s pissing me off too.”</p><p>He was making fucking <em>Narnia </em>jokes.</p><p>“WHAT ARE YOU?” Ryan asked loudly, not getting the joke as he, like Geoff, died.</p><p>The timer expired with hunter Jack still alive but it didn’t matter; we had won this round because they were one prop-kill short.</p><p>“I was the wardrobe in the bedroom,” Ray laughed at the blank faces of Geoff, Jack and Ryan while me and Gavin went to pieces in delight at our team win.</p><p>“Oh…OH!” Ryan finally understood the joke, before shaking his head. “Did you just not move the entire time and get lucky enough to not get shot?”</p><p>“Pretty much. Well Jack shot me, but he didn’t notice.”</p><p>“God dammit Jack,” Geoff sighed.</p><p>The round reset but the teams remained the same and suddenly, I was the hunter with a gun, along with Gavin and Ray. Time to find out how good the three gents were at hiding in plain sight now.</p><p>“It’s like hide and seek but with murder,” I commented cheerfully, looking for anything that appeared to be out of place in the washroom. I knew from experience that objects that weren’t other players could be physically knocked over if you interacted with them, which could be a good way to find someone hiding as something small. With no luck, I switched rooms.</p><p>“That’s exactly what this is like,” Ryan replied with a grin.</p><p>“Got Geoff!” Ray laughed. “Dude was still moving and I saw him right away.”</p><p>“I ran out of time to become anything good,” Geoff groaned, proceeding to alternate spectating between Jack and Ryan.</p><p>I ran up to the attic, shooting methodically at the barrels but I was surely going to die doing this; there were too many. Instead, I switched tactic to knocking them over by running into them. One of them did not fall over, so I promptly shot at it.</p><p>“Oh crap.” Jack tried to run as the barrel, but he failed, dying by my gun. “Dammit!”</p><p>“You’ll never find me,” Ryan told us smugly, as the lone survivor of the props’ team.</p><p>“Wanna bet?” Gavin asked, determined to get revenge on him after the previous round.</p><p>In the bedroom, I was trying to carefully check everything without depleting my health too far. “I don’t think he’s in here. Have you guys looked outside?” I asked, my question directed at Gavin and Ray.</p><p>“Yeah, I checked some stuff, but I couldn’t shoot it all,” Gavin replied as I ran past him in game to find him checking the washer-dryer room appliances.</p><p>Ray too was outside, trying to check the items around the dumpster, while I practiced my tried and true method of just knocking stuff over.</p><p>Ryan was snickering infuriatingly. “Not even close.”</p><p>“Who was that comment aimed at?” Gavin asked, who wasn’t near Ray and I at all.</p><p>“I’m not gonna tell you that.”</p><p>Frustrated, I went back into the house but at that second the timer expired, tying the game with both teams having a score of 1.</p><p>“What were you?” I asked curiously, glancing sideways at Ryan.</p><p>He smiled mischievously. “Y’know that bottle you shot next to the dumpster?”</p><p>“Yes…”</p><p>“I was the bottle next to that one.”</p><p>“Fuck!” I cussed as he laughed. I couldn’t believe that I’d been that close and had still missed him by chance. That could have won that round for my team.</p><p>We played a few more rounds, with various shenanigans taking place. Most notably, Ryan turning into four different things in one round and Gavin losing him all four times, and Jack being the same thing twice in a row because just as he thought, nobody suspected it and the prop team won that round because of it.</p><p>Most of the rest of the afternoon was spent by us individually working on our own tasks and workloads with headphones on at our computers. I’d just finished getting Matt’s work done at last and was starting on my own when my phone buzzed to life in my pocket. Fidgeting to pull it out, I looked at the caller ID to see with surprise that it was Michael. Frowning a little, I answered.</p><p>“Hey, is Lindsay there? She’s not answering her fuckin’ phone,” Michael said by way of explanation, saving me from asking why he was ringing me when he was probably supposed to be shooting a scene or something.</p><p>“She’s in the side-office, hang on,” I removed my headphones from around my neck and placed them on my desk before walking towards B-Team’s room in the corner. Through the windowed door though, I could see that actually she wasn’t in there as I’d thought - her chair was empty. “Or maybe not. Hang on Michael.” I pressed the phone to my chest and addressed our room. “Has anyone seen Lindsay?”</p><p>“She’s taking a late lunch, she wasn’t feeling well earlier,” Geoff replied, glancing my way. “Why?”</p><p>“Michael rang me, she’s not picking up her phone.” This was not entirely unusual; she could have left it on her desk, or maybe it was just on silent while she ate. I put my phone back to my ear. “Dude, I’ll go look for her. What’s up?”</p><p>“It’s not urgent or anything but I’m going to be late home,” Michael replied. “I just wanted to tell her. I’ve sent her texts too but she didn’t reply to those either and I wanted to make sure she was okay.”</p><p>As outwardly dick-ish as he could sometimes act (especially on camera), deep down he really was a big softie for the people he cared about. I smiled down the phone, having left the room to walk to the kitchen/indoor bench area to see if she was eating, but she wasn’t there either. Resigning myself to the fact that she’d obviously left the building to get food, I apologised to Michael and promised him that I’d let him know when I next spoke to her before hanging up right as Barbara strolled past me with a smitten smile on her face and the air of someone whose head was totally in the clouds.</p><p>“Hey!” She greeted me brightly as she passed. She lowered her voice a little. “I finally told Heath to do one.” She was of course referring to her boyfriend of a few months, who had really only seen her as an object to have sex with. Genuinely thrilled for her because she hadn’t seemed at all happy during the duration of that relationship anyway, I told her ‘good for you’ before she waved bye because she was in the middle of doing something work-related.</p><p>Returning to the office, I noticed that in my absence Jack had made me another coffee. Beaming at him, I thanked him and sat back down to get back to work. The hours melted away as all that was heard was the rattle of keys being typed and the occasional clattering of a mouse or headphones onto desks. With some form of satisfaction, I realised that at around seven in the evening, I was finally finished and was actually free to go home.</p><p>“Gavin, I’m leaving,” Geoff told him five minutes later, indicating that if he wanted a lift home with him, he should probably go with him since they were housemates. Gavin nodded, grabbing his bag before switching his monitor off.</p><p>“Geoff, did Lindsay ever come back from lunch?” I asked, remembering my earlier conversation with Michael. “I didn’t notice.”</p><p>“Yeah, I saw her about an hour ago in there,” he nodded, gesturing to the side office.</p><p>“Is she okay?” Ryan asked, sounding genuinely like he cared; he’d always had a pretty strong friendship with her.</p><p>“Ehhh…” Geoff tilted his head a little. “She didn’t look like she felt great, but she didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t push the issue.”</p><p>***</p><p>The nightmare struck that night. As I reached for the bottle of water I kept on my night stand, I took several deep breaths and became aware of my twisted, now wrongly-oriented sheets in the darkness, kicking to try to fix it and only becoming further entangled and frustrated. Adding to that the fact that I was in a cold sweat, I was thoroughly in no mood to sleep after dreaming about being broken into and damn-near murdered for the third time this week. Presumably my brain had linked Ray’s break in with my hate mail, leading it to create a horrible scenario where I barely felt safe in my own flat any more.</p><p>Thanks, brain.</p><p>The water refreshed my mouth a little, but my mind was still racing along with my heart. I checked my phone in an attempt to distract myself. I had a couple of spam emails along with a real one from a website I’d ordered something from. I also had about four messages from various people I knew including my sister, who lived elsewhere in Texas and was getting married next year. She’d casually sent me a picture of her wedding dress at eleven o’ clock at night, though since she’d apparently already bought it she was probably looking for approval more than an opinion. Knowing she’d be satisfied even if I gave her something as little as a ‘heart’ emoji, I did so and hit send. At four o’ clock in the morning. Boy was she going to wonder what the hell I was doing with my life when she saw the timestamp on that message.</p><p>Freeing myself with slight difficulty from my sheets, I clambered out of bed to straighten it up properly again, after switching on my bedroom light that nearly burned my retinas out of my skull. Blinking and squinting until my eyes adjusted, I tugged at the duvet and untwisted it while my tired mind wandered.</p><p>The fans had left some really nice and supportive comments on the ‘AHWU’ video that we’d released today, addressing the hate mail. Some had even gone further and had condemned ‘anyone who would do that to these guys’. Someone had drawn fan art of Geoff being ‘mother hen’ and defending all of us staff from literal fire, which was both funny and sweet. There was another piece of art of Jack and Geoff setting fire to the letters that were labelled ‘hate mail’. It had genuinely warmed my heart to know that most people weren’t gigantic pieces of psychotic crap.</p><p>Another message was from Lindsay from right around when I’d gone to bed, containing a typical cat meme which I resolved to reply to shortly. The next was from Michael with a simple ‘thanks’ in reply to my letting him know I’d passed his message of being late home to Lindsay. The last one was from Gavin, who seemed to be babbling about having met someone new and she worked for our company. With a small smile, I sincerely hoped that whoever she was wouldn’t break his heart like Ellie had.</p><p>Sure that I was definitely too wired to go back to sleep, I stripped down and hopped into the shower to wash the nightmare away, figuratively and literally. As I lathered, I contemplated texting to see if anyone else was up, but also doubted it and didn’t really want to bother them with my stupid problems, so I took more time than usual under the warm water before blow-drying my hair and brushing it through.</p><p>Sitting in front of my television, I checked the time. Only a couple more hours before work and the sun was due to start rising soon. I’d never been a morning person, but when you dread sleeping for the fear of having the same nightmare again, you tend to not go back to bed.</p><p>Eventually, after binge-watching Netflix, sending several cat memes to Lindsay and having too many cups of coffee already for the day, I got dressed and dragged my ass to work. Now that it was October, there was definitely a chill in the air and as I sauntered to work, I appreciated it. Summer had never been my favourite considering that I’d much rather wrap up warm in the cold than strip down in the heat and still be so hot you wanted to peel off your skin. Fall was much more welcoming.</p><p>On my way into the building, I noticed that it seemed busier than usual and couldn’t figure out why until I saw Gus standing talking with Patrick and Ryan; today was ‘The Patch’ filming day, where they discussed games with very story-driven plots weekly, much like a book club. A short woman with shocking purple hair and thick-framed black glasses also approached and joined the conversation – Meg.</p><p>“Pssst,” Gavin said from behind me, making me jump. Since when was he ever early to work? Geoff must have hauled him in because he had a ton of stuff to do.</p><p>“What’s up?” I smiled at him, noticing that he had regained all of his usual chaotic energy.</p><p>“That’s her,” he whispered, by way of greeting. He was referring to the ‘new girl’ he’d been gushing over via text last night, of course.</p><p>I laughed. “Morning to you too,” I elbowed him lightly, but glanced over to where he was nodding meaningfully to. Deciding to deliberately not observe the obvious, I feigned shock. “What, you’re dating Ryan? I mean, he has kind of worn a skirt, if you could call a kilt that…”</p><p>“Wh- no!” Gavin scowled, flustered. “Meg!” His hushed whisper was not overly covert, causing her to look over at the pair of us with a confused look at hearing her name said suddenly. I didn’t know her that well and merely gave her a friendly wave while Gavin turned the colour of Nintendo’s Kirby character.</p><p>Ryan glanced over too and met my eyes briefly before returning to his conversation, but that was enough to remind me of my promise several days ago that he was holding me to. The question was, was I going to make it easy for him to catch me on my own at work or was I going to purposefully wind him up by making it as difficult as possible? Mischievously, I toyed with the latter idea, liking it far more.</p><p>“She’s so lovely…” Gavin mumbled, much more quietly now as Meg turned back around after smiling at us a little.</p><p>“I can definitely see your attraction,” I agreed. “She’s very pretty. Have you actually spoken to her?”</p><p>“Briefly…” Gavin replied, not meeting my eyes. I knew how awkward he could be around girls until he knew them much better and it was pretty adorable. “About something work-related. I don’t know how to ask her out though.”</p><p>“Just…ask,” I said, unhelpfully. “It’s honestly the only way you’ll do it. And whatever you do, don’t let the other guys know about this before you do it; they’ll fuck you over and ask her out for you and trust me, you don’t want that.”</p><p>“I definitely don’t,” Gavin laughed. “They wouldn’t cast me in a good light. But what if she’s already dating someone? What if…she’s dating Ryan?” His eyes widened a little, as though he was considering this for the first time.</p><p>The words caught me off-guard, because Ryan knew her very well after working with her so closely for a few years now and as far as Gavin knew, he was single, but while I was certain Ryan wasn’t seeing Meg romantically I had no idea how to dissuade him from this idea without outright sounding like I knew all about Ryan’s love life.</p><p>“Uhhh…that’s a risk you’ll have to take, I guess…” I bit my lip with a shrug, kind of hating selectively lying to him. “For the record though, I think they’re just friends.”</p><p>“Dunno, he’s pretty secretive…” Gavin replied doubtfully. “He’s not like Geoff or Ray who tend to announce stuff like that to us.”</p><p>I fairly confidently knew that Ryan wouldn’t go behind my back like that, but I had to give up arguing or risk giving the game away.</p><p>“I guess he is sometimes,” I agreed genuinely. “But Gav, you won’t know until you <em>ask her</em>.”</p><p>He knew I had a point and sighed. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”</p><p>Nodding in acknowledgement, I hugged him before messing up his hair. “You’re such a dork.”</p><p>He grinned goofily and shrugged. “Well…maybe she’ll like that.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Inspired by a video in which Michael mentions in passing how flustered Gavin gets around women and I can't help but think about how sweet that is.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Risk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You and Geoff record a duo gameplay session and Gavin finally finds the courage to ask out Meg. Lindsay confides in you.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Five Nights At Freddy’s had been released a few months ago and two of the biggest horror game babies of our office were playing it especially for our audience, since it had been requested so much. With both of us sitting together at the same computer since it was a single-player game on PC only, I nervously placed my hands on the keyboard and mouse while Geoff introduced the video for the camera. We’d basically agreed to take it in turns to play but with both of us wearing linked-up headphones, we would both get pretty much the same amount of jump-scares out of it.</p><p>Surprisingly, Geoff had also recommended turning out the lights in the room to make it ‘even spookier’, considering that it was also Halloween month and our office was empty of anyone else. I had reluctantly agreed.</p><p>“Okay, so from what I’ve read, we need to stop the robot animal things from killing us by surviving the night shift as a security guard,” I explained to Geoff and the audience simultaneously as the game loaded. This was primarily the reason I was going first - I’d done my research without spoiling myself with too much gameplay.</p><p>It didn’t take us long to start shrieking at the repeated scares as we frantically both took it in turns to try to not get murdered by animatronics by viewing the security cameras, closing doors and turning on lights, but as the player was only given a certain amount of power usage per night, you had to limit doing all of this or risk being crept up on with no way to defend yourself. At one point, I jumped so much I elbowed Geoff in the chest and sent the mouse flying. Though it was wired, it had quite a lot of cable give and now dangled just above the floor over the edge of the desk.</p><p>“I’m so sorry!” I apologised, trying not to laugh as he bent over clutching his chest from the hit.</p><p>“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, ow,” he chuckled.</p><p>“We really need to pull it together,” I winced, knowing that this kind of thing was precisely what the audience loved - it would have been no fun for someone who was far braver than us to play this and never even flinch.</p><p>After a few more attempts we ended the video, confident that we had enough footage while I switched the room’s lights back on. Making sure to save it, Geoff leaned across me a little to use the keyboard to type and make sure it was labelled correctly and in the right folder. I purposefully didn’t move and even budged over slightly just to get in his way even more as he reached for the mouse.</p><p>“Would you fuckin’ move?” he laughed, looking at me with humour in his eyes.</p><p>“Make me,” I challenged him.</p><p>“Oh I would, but I want to save this <em>really important</em> work thing,” he replied pointedly.</p><p>“Well maybe that’s just tough shit,” I said in a slightly sing-song voice, leaning across the desk to be completely in his way and knowing that saving the file could easily wait.</p><p>I could see the smirk beneath his moustache already. “Don’t make me tickle you.”</p><p>“Wait,” I put my hands up with a sheepish grin. “Wait-“ I sat up straight again.</p><p>“I never did pay you back the other week when you jabbed me while I was stretching before AHWU,” he reminded me teasingly, his eyes full of mischief now. “I said I’d get you back. And considering how ticklish I know you are…”</p><p>I kicked my wheeled chair back away from him but he followed me in his, which turned into a ridiculous desk-chair race around half of the room peddled by our feet until he eventually grabbed the seat of mine to stop me moving and promptly began to tickle the shit out of me.</p><p>“No!” I shrieked, squirming and laughing and nearly falling out of my chair. “I’m sorry, okay?!”</p><p>“You better be!” he replied, stopping and watching me recover, satisfied.</p><p>“Fuckin’ dick,” I muttered, straightening my t-shirt and watching his eyes flick down to my side that had been exposed during the tickling. Confusion clouded his face.</p><p>“What’s all that on your side?” he asked directly, frowning.</p><p>“What? Nothing,” I replied, too quickly.</p><p>With one fleeting look at my face he could tell I was lying and immediately reached to pull my shirt up to show my side and some of my midriff despite my weak protests, where he gazed open-mouthed at the long, faint red lines still etched there from the other night with Ryan.</p><p>“What the-?”</p><p>“It’s…uhm…not what it looks like?” I suggested, flushing.</p><p>“It looks like you’re all fuckin’ scratched up,” Geoff said plainly, raising his eyebrows as he let go of my shirt.</p><p>“Well…okay…yeah, it is what it looks like then.” I slid my t-shirt back down, wondering what he was going to make of it and there was a moment where I swear I could see him putting together the pieces in his head as he stared at me. Geoff was a smart man most of the time, but this was taking him a little too long.</p><p>“Ryan.” It wasn’t a question, but he’d gotten there in the end.</p><p>Still very sheepishly, I nodded. “I consented, don’t worry.” I didn’t want him getting the idea that Ryan was abusing me or something.</p><p>Smirking once again, Geoff sat back down in his chair facing me and folded his arms, leaning back a little. “Oh I’m not worried, I’m just surprised at you. What else has he been doing to you?”</p><p>This question stunned me. I was sure that I remembered Geoff saying something about ‘whatever Ryan and I did was up to us’. Didn’t that imply that he didn’t want to be involved? Confused, I questioned this.</p><p>“Not wanting to be physically involved in you two being together doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally feel like hearing about it. We actually talked last week after he stayed at yours,” Geoff continued casually.</p><p>I supposed I shouldn’t really mind this since they were friends after all, and why would I particularly care about the two of them sharing details when I was dating and trusted both of them? It occurred to me that perhaps I should feel more surprised than I was by this revelation, but I’d never intended to keep secrets from either of them anyway. I’d also never really ever assumed our relationships were necessarily individually private in the first place and sneaking around behind each one’s back with the other seemed odd when we were in a polyamory relationship.</p><p>“Oh?” I asked, breaking out of this train of thought and focusing on the conversation again.</p><p>“He mentioned you seem to like pain. I’m guessing that’s where those scratches come in.”</p><p>Oh. So it was like that. I could see a mile off where this was going.</p><p>“Are you now going to exploit this information, by any chance?” I asked quietly with a smile, wondering if Geoff was alluding to a fetish of being turned on by knowing what Ryan had been doing to me. Strangely, the thought of <em>that </em>aroused me slightly in turn.</p><p>“It’s very tempting,” Geoff replied, smirking more as he smoothed his moustache a little with his fingers. “What else am I supposed to fuckin’ do when I find out that my cutest employee likes being spanked?”</p><p>And there it was.</p><p>“Uhh…” was all I could think to say. Despite sort of knowing this was coming the second he’d mentioned he’d had a conversation about my first night with Ryan, I now didn’t know how to react, though I was cautiously exhilarated. I wondered what he would do when Ryan inevitably told him about our second night and found it difficult to meet Geoff’s eyes as I realised exactly how much more aroused this made me. “Have you conversed with him about us?” I asked curiously, shuffling a little in my chair. “I had dinner that night with you before he stayed with me.”</p><p>Still gazing steadily at me, Geoff raised his eyebrows a bit. “What d’<em>you</em> think?”</p><p>That was a yes. Man, no wonder Ryan had teased me with the dirty talk about being the ‘office slut’. I cleared my throat and made the decision to try to regain control of the situation. Standing up before I could overthink it, I straddled his lap before he could stop me, draping my arms around his neck as I leaned in to kiss him. His hands found my hips and slid around to rest on my jean-clad ass as he kissed me back gently with a small, quiet moan which I took as an indication to continue before running a hand up the back of his neck and into his dark brown hair.</p><p>Geoff’s PC in the office was right next to the door, more or less. Literally anyone could walk in at any single moment. Ryan had been right about me - I did have a serious thing for the gamble of maybe being caught and I hadn’t even known it until now. The thrill of doing something that you didn’t want to be caught doing in a place where that could happen at any second…was hot, somehow.</p><p>“We shouldn’t do this in here, it’s too public,” Geoff murmured as I watched him smile.</p><p>“I know,” I replied playfully. “What if someone discovers that we’re together by walking in on us with me on your lap like this?”</p><p>“Is this turning you on?” he asked in a slightly amused voice, his blue eyes sparkling in a knowing way.</p><p>“Maybe…” I leaned to kiss him again, but at that second we both heard footsteps approaching. I was quick enough to spring off of him, casually straightening my t-shirt again as I walked past Ryan’s desk to my own where I sat down right as the office door sprung wide open.</p><p>“Ayyyyyooooo!” Gavin greeted us loudly as he strolled in followed by Michael, neither of whom seemed to notice anything awry despite my sitting at my not-even-switched-on PC.</p><p>Subtly, I shot Geoff a smirk as he scrambled to sit up straighter in his chair in an attempt to regain composure. He glanced at me and mouthed the words, ‘fuck you’ with a smile back, before turning to speak to the two lads that had entered the room.</p><p>“We came to get this,” Gavin beamed, digging out a big blue and orange Nerf shotgun that shot foam pellets in pairs. “Gonna mess with Ryan while he’s on The Patch.”</p><p>“Isn’t that a little mean?” I asked pointlessly, because they were going to do it anyway.</p><p>“Fuck it,” Michael shrugged as the pair, like school children, left the room again.</p><p>Geoff had already followed them with a laugh and with burning curiosity of how this was going to turn out, I did too. It took seconds to round the corner of our office, past the kitchen and then tread mere paces over to where Gus was speaking about a story-driven game with Ryan and Meg on their ‘book club’ style talk show series in their open area.</p><p>Gavin cocked the Nerf shotgun with a loud click as Michael held up his phone in landscape mode and hit record, which was the hosts’ first clue that something was happening as they looked our way. With silent glee, Gavin pulled the trigger and narrowly missed Ryan who at the last split-second, ducked sideways. Quickly, he reloaded and tried again, this time hitting his shoulder successfully.</p><p>“What the hell are you guys doing?” Ryan laughed in a bemused sort of way, picking up a pellet that had landed on their desk and throwing it back at his attacker as Geoff, Michael and I sniggered. We were never a part of this series and until now had never been in an episode. We also, after this, probably never would be either.</p><p>“This just in, we are under attack from Achievement Hunters,” Gus announced jokingly to their cameras whilst adjusting his glasses. There had always been a friendly rivalry between the Achievement Hunters and the Rooster Teeth employees despite everyone being part of the same company, so this was not the most unexpected thing to have ever happened.</p><p>Gavin fired again after reloading and even the camera crew were beginning to laugh at this random invasion. Michael quickly dashed right on to the set, still recording with his phone in order to capture their desk and floor littered with blue and orange foam Nerf pellets.</p><p>Unfortunately, Gavin’s last pair of pellets both hit Meg, with one landing directly into her cleavage due to her only wearing a tank top. Bursting out laughing, she plucked it out and held it up before glancing at Gavin and boldly saying, “Wow, nice shot, buddy!”</p><p>Gavin grinned stupidly, right as I nudged him. “Ask her now!” I hissed. He had her attention, right? Plus, she thought he was being funny, not annoying or idiotic. That was definitely a good future sign for him.</p><p>He hesitated only slightly before plunging in and taking the risk, but his choice of words would not have been mine. Or probably anyone’s. “Sorry about your tits, love. Wanna go for a drink sometime?”</p><p>“Oh my God,” I groaned quietly under my breath, thinking for sure that I had just screwed him by pushing him to take the chance as Geoff cracked up into hysterical high-pitched laughter.</p><p>“Yeah! Any guy that can do that from across the room gets a date from me for sure,” Meg laughed good-naturedly whilst winking at him confidently.</p><p>“’Sorry about your tits’?” Ryan repeated slowly in a mocking sort of voice, with an amused smirk. “Smooth.”</p><p>“Shut up Ryan,” Gavin told him over-confidently now that Meg had said yes, but when Ryan stared at him and raised an eyebrow he wilted slightly.</p><p>“Wow, he sure told you,” Gus laughed, looking to Ryan for his reaction as Meg giggled.</p><p>Ryan waved his hand dismissively. “It’s alright. I’ll get him later.” His tone of voice was not threatening but the statement kind of was, causing everybody in the vicinity to laugh a little nervously and wonder whether he was serious or not.</p><p>“Run, Gavin!” Meg yelled with a laugh.</p><p>Gavin promptly disappeared, taking the gun with him as Michael followed, leaving Geoff and I to watch the ‘The Patch’ hosts and crew try to get the show back on track after being so heavily distracted. I sincerely hoped they kept all of that in the final cut in editing too, because Gavin’s success had been bloody award-winning.</p><p>***</p><p>Lindsay was quiet whilst eating near the kitchen area that afternoon. Sitting on the bench opposite her, I asked if she was alright after not looking well the last couple of days and at first, I wasn’t sure that she was going to answer me.</p><p>“Can I talk to you about something?” she asked me in a low voice. “I haven’t talked to anyone else about this apart from Michael.”</p><p>“Course,” I nodded, picking at my salad. The noise around us from various sets and other people eating and talking was easily enough to mask our conversation if she didn’t want to be overheard.</p><p>“I’ve been feeling so nauseous the last few days and I threw up a couple of times,” she explained. “I actually thought I might be pregnant, but I went to the drug store to get a test and…I’m not. I don’t know whether I’m relieved or disappointed.”</p><p>Okay, I wanted to be a good friend, but this was way outside of my area of expertise. I decided to try a different tact. “If you’re not pregnant, what was making you sick?”</p><p>“Some stomach bug probably,” Lindsay sighed. “I took like, three tests just to make sure, because Michael and I agreed when we got married that if it happens, it happens. We both want kids, but…I feel like it’s too soon yet, y’know? We only got married a few months ago.”</p><p>Oh boy. “Does Michael know you think it’s too soon?”</p><p>“He does, but I feel guilty.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I dunno, he really wants to be a dad. It’s sweet. And don’t get me wrong, I want to be a mother,” Lindsay stated firmly. “But not yet. Maybe I should just bring it up with him directly. I don’t want him to be upset though.”</p><p>I thought about this. Lindsay had known Michael slightly longer than me but obviously she was also much closer to him. Despite this, I had a feeling that he wouldn’t be troubled so long as she was happy. After all, it wasn’t as though she’d changed her mind about having children altogether; now <em>that</em> would be a shock.</p><p>“Just talk to him and hope he’s okay,” I encouraged. “I think he will be, but you know him best.”</p><p>She nodded, picking at her own salad before deciding she couldn’t face eating and offering it to me instead before excusing herself and walking off to visit the bathrooms. I watched her go a little sadly, hoping that she actually was okay, but I didn’t get much time to ponder because before I knew it Jeremy had plonked himself down where Lindsay had been sitting.</p><p>“Guess. What.” His Malteser brown eyes were full of excitement, the corners of his eyes creasing as he beamed.</p><p>“Uh…hi J,” I giggled. “What?”</p><p>“I just ordered a custom Xbox controller and it’s gonna be purple with orange and yellow!”</p><p>My god he was the most adorable Spyro fanboy. As a serious fan myself however, I was admittedly jealous.</p><p>“Really? Show me!” I grinned, causing him to pull out his phone and tap into his email where his order confirmation was, along with a picture. It looked pretty cool, with chrome purple triggers, yellow thumb sticks and orange bumper buttons. “That is really rad. Where did you order it from?”</p><p>He showed me the website, along with the customisation options and pricing, leading me to bookmarking it for myself to have a look later. For him and me, Spyro The Dragon had been a childhood game that we’d played obsessively, leading us to spending another twenty minutes of our lunch discussing it and the possibility of there ever being a remastered version of the original three PS1 console games – that was the dream.</p><p>“Why do you have two salads, by the way?” He asked suddenly, as though just noticing this.</p><p>“I’m being twice as healthy,” I replied in a ‘duh’ sort of tone of voice right as I caught sight of Ryan and Gavin over in the kitchen, obviously making lunch.</p><p>“Ohh yeah, course,” Jeremy grinned, going along with my joke before taking a huge, messy bite of his cheeseburger from the food truck outside. “How’re you feeling about crunch time, by the way? Geoff told me about it earlier.”</p><p>Taking a second to decipher his words through his mouthful of food, I shrugged. He was referring to the fact that at this time of year, we ramped up the amount of recordings we did each day and stayed until late in the evenings to ensure that we all had a decent Christmas break without a break in content uploads. We were all pretty used to it although the newbies would have to acclimatise quickly, Jeremy included.</p><p>“You get used to it, honestly,” I reassured him with a nod. “Everyone is going to be tired but it’s all worth it when you realise that it means you get a proper break over the holidays. I’m not really sleeping much right now anyway.”</p><p>“Why not?” Jeremy asked, sounding – bless him – genuinely concerned.</p><p>“I keep having a nightmare about being broken into,” I explained. “Y’know, from Ray’s incident. And that letter.” I looked down at my salad and munched some lettuce.</p><p>He paused, making me wonder if I shouldn’t have brought this up. “Yeah, I was sorry to hear about that. And that letter. I didn’t get to read it but Geoff sounded really mad that someone would do that when he told us.”</p><p>I gave him a small smile. “Ah well, maybe I’ll sleep tonight, huh?”</p><p>“Listen to some soothing music,” he suggested. “Maybe count some sheep.”</p><p>“I’ll bear that in mind,” I grinned in response as I watched Trevor sit down with us with his own food. “What’s up, Trey?”</p><p>“Eh, y’know,” he smiled a little mysteriously, before immediately checking his phone. “What do you say to a woman when <em>she</em> asks <em>you</em> out? I mean, I didn’t even know she’d noticed me in that way…”</p><p>Aw, this was so very high-school and I secretly loved it, to be honest. “Do you like her?”</p><p>He grinned adorably. “Well…yeah. She’s awesome. Talented, smart <em>and</em> hot; literally my kind of woman.”</p><p>“Dude, get right on that,” Jeremy said firmly as I shrugged and nodded in agreement.</p><p>“Who is it?” I asked the burning question, genuinely curious as I watched his cheeks pinken slightly.</p><p>“Barb,” he replied quietly.</p><p>“Barb? Barbara Dunkelman?” Jeremy asked, wide-eyed. “Oh man, if I wasn’t married…which I am,” he added quickly with a laugh. We all knew he was truly devoted to Kat, his high school sweetheart, but that didn’t mean he didn’t occasionally joke around.</p><p>Bashfully, Trevor nodded. “Right?”</p><p>“She’s great,” I said encouragingly. Barbara was definitely everything he’d mentioned and more. “She’s had a few shit boyfriends though so don’t…hurt her.”</p><p>Trevor met my eyes with his dark brown ones with a slight smile. “I don’t intend to.”</p><p>I watched Ryan and Gavin walk back to our office having made sandwiches. They were closely followed by Jack and Geoff, prompting me to think that I should probably be getting back – we still had several things to record today before it was over. As much as I loved my job, I was so tired from not sleeping properly last night that I was honestly looking forward to my bed tonight.</p><p>It was a great shame that when I got home to my flat later on, I would find nothing but misery and fear waiting for me, along with yet another sleepless night.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. This is the most wholesome chapter I’ve ever written for anything. Geoff is a giant ball of silly fluff. Millie is in this. It’s all just lovely.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>It’s so fluffy I’m gonna dieeeee</i>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>That handwriting, the oh-so-familiar scrawl of hatred that had spewed such horrific degradation last time was contained in yet another letter that had been slipped under the door of my flat. I had nearly stepped on it, stumbling home tiredly from work at midnight and wanting to fall directly into bed with the intention of sleeping all weekend. But the white square envelope on my doormat contrasted with my dark carpet, drawing my eyes.</p><p>This person, who had wished I was dead previously amongst other things, <em>knew where I lived.</em> Their threat on knowing where my flat was hadn’t been empty in the slightest, but the question was, who the fuck <em>were</em> they? Perching on my sofa with the handwritten letter unfolded in my lap, I examined it again, my heart thudding hard. The scrawl didn’t look particularly feminine nor masculine, but that didn’t really matter as I knew some guys who wrote with fairly cursive writing. The choice of paper was merely yellow lined and clearly pulled out of a cheap notebook, the black ink sitting darkly upon it. It wasn’t signed.</p><p>My hand reached for my phone and had scrolled to Geoff in the contacts list before I even knew what I was doing.</p><p>“Hey.” He sounded as sleepy as I had felt all evening, but I couldn’t even muster up any guilt.</p><p>“I got another letter. It’s the same person as last time,” I told him quickly, my stomach clenching.</p><p>“What? How? What does it say?” I could hear the clear concern and confusion in his voice.</p><p>“They put it under my door before I got home, I found it on my floor just now,” I explained, feeling the tears threaten to spill. I really didn’t want to cry again, I just wanted to go to sleep and feel safe in my own goddamn flat. “They must know where I live, Geoff. They said they did last time and I didn’t believe it. I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>There was a brief pause.</p><p>“I’m coming over. Right now.” He hung up.</p><p>I removed my phone from my ear and blinked at it before staring back at the note again, wondering who in my life could hate me enough to do this. A fair few people probably knew vaguely where I lived; there was of course all of the guys in the main and side offices, some others from the company such as Barb and Steffie who knew more accurately, Burnie Burns – as the company CEO of Rooster Teeth – would probably know specifically if he cared to check, as he probably held the employee paperwork. Ryan and Geoff of course knew along with my sister, my mother and some friends from out-of-state who had come to stay before knew too. The problem was, I seriously doubted that any of those people would write even one note like this, let alone multiple.</p><p>Undressing and changing into my pyjama shorts and tank top that I liked to sleep in before pouring myself a glass of water, I vaguely wondered if I should move flats. After the last ‘AHWU’ incident, Geoff had handled the matter as a boss for an employee by contacting the police and handing over the note with the explanation of what had happened. This latest note should probably be handed in too – maybe they could figure out who the fuck was doing this before they did it a third time. Or possibly murdered me or something, I thought wryly, before internally scolding myself for jumping to that. Writing out threats and death wishes was one thing but it took a whole other kind of crazy to actually plan, approach and kill another human being.</p><p>I answered the door to Geoff a short time later, who was wearing exactly what he’d left work in along with the expression of absolute worry and concern on his face as he entered my flat without waiting for an invite. Without a word, he enveloped me in a tight hug.</p><p>“You’re not getting left alone for a while,” he stated, squeezing me close. “Police station on the way back to mine in the morning, okay? Where’s the note?”</p><p>I nodded as I breathed him in, comforted by his warm embrace. “Thanks. It’s on the sofa.”</p><p>He let me go and retrieved the letter in order to read it, so I took the opportunity to have another drink of my cup of water while he did so, standing and leaning against my countertop. I watched his expression go from serious to angry and then back again as he scanned it before placing it down and running both of his hands through his hair at the same time before gazing at me.</p><p>“Do you have any idea who this could be?” he asked gently.</p><p>I shook my head, admitting that I’d been thinking about it while he’d been on his way over. Nobody that I could think of seemed likely to do something of this magnitude of loathing towards me – that wasn’t to say that I had a million friends, but nobody I knew hated me like <em>this</em>. I wasn’t a superhero with a damned arch enemy and even the couple of ex-boyfriends I’d had didn’t seem likely candidates.</p><p>We talked it to death but ultimately we both came up blank, resigning ourselves to trying to get some sleep. Exhausted, we both fell into bed, with him wrapping me back up in his arms and me hoping that peaceful sleep would come as I clutched at him, thankful that I wasn’t alone. Eventually I must have dozed off, but my dreams were full of masked people chasing me through dark hallways in their attempts to kill me. One startled me as I rounded a corner and right as I reached to unveil their identity I felt the burning stabbing of their knife piercing my flesh and the warm trickling of my blood flowing from the wound.</p><p>I sat bolt upright, shaking and gasping with Geoff’s hands gripping my arms as I hit out into the blackness of my bedroom.</p><p>“Shhh, hey! Fuck, you’re in bed, it’s okay, it’s me! It’s Geoff!” he tried to console me as I slapped at him, but as I became aware that it had just been a nightmare and awoke a little more, I let my arms drop limply to my sides.</p><p>“Sorry,” I choked as my eyes accustomed to the dim light and he faintly came into view. “I- I-“</p><p>“It’s okay,” he whispered, smoothing my hair out of my face. “I’m here. God, you’re shaky as dicks. C’mere.”</p><p>He lay back down, guiding me in his arms so my head came to rest on his chest, allowing him to gently stroke my side with his hand as I snuggled up to him tearfully. I felt him pull the duvet up over us both, cocooning us somewhat and blocking out what tiny bit of dim light there had been.</p><p>“Breathe,” he instructed softly.</p><p>As I stared into the total pitch black, I took some deliberately deep breaths and felt slightly calmer over the next few minutes as it began to feel like we were somewhere else. The illusion of this comforting bubble was strangely childish but it was definitely working, so I wasn’t about to criticise it. It occurred to me that Geoff had mentioned that he’d built pillow-blanket forts for himself and his daughter Millie to read stories in in the past, and that thought was so adorable to me that for a moment I forgot my distress and actually smiled.</p><p>“Geoff?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“What would you have done tonight if we weren’t together?” I asked, intrigued.</p><p>He seemed to think about this for a second. “I would have done the same thing, but slept on the sofa instead of in your bed.”</p><p>Yep, that sounded about right. I also knew that wasn’t personal to just me; in his ever-protective way he would have done the same for Ray who lived alone too, or for Lindsay if Michael had been away shooting Lazer Team. Or any of the other staff that he considered his extended family.</p><p>As he sighed tiredly, I was contending with being in a weird state of being a bundle of anxious nerves and restlessness mixed with exhaustion and the knowledge that I needed sleep. Not a good combination.</p><p>“I’m happy for Gav,” I commented, changing the subject as my mind wandered on the events of the day.</p><p>“I’m amazed that idiot got a date after what he did,” Geoff chuckled, trailing his hand down on to my hip and resting it there.</p><p>“I think we all were,” I smiled, running my hand up his bare chest to his shoulder affectionately.</p><p>Eventually we kicked off the duvet as we got too hot under it and for hours, we talked about everything from work, to family, to pets, to our pasts. It began to get light at around seven in the morning but since it was Saturday, neither of us were too worried about being out of bed before ten. Slowly, Geoff became less and less conversational and resorted to replying with mere ‘mhm’s. Then he stopped replying altogether as his breathing slowed and deepened.</p><p>Smiling, I lifted my head a little to watch him sleep for a minute, appreciating how peaceful he looked when he was totally unburdened. Closing my eyes and telling myself I was only going to think nice thoughts and listen to Geoff’s heartbeat, I breathed deeply too and allowed sleep to take me, into a mercifully dreamless rest.</p><p>***</p><p>“Gavin, can you help me with this?” Millie asked, as Geoff raised his eyebrows at me across the table.</p><p>“See? She knows he’s smarter at math than me,” he said with a shake of his head, watching his daughter slide her homework across the table to the British lad. At nine years old, she was already so very much Geoff’s daughter both in physical likeness and his personality to a point, with a cheeky sense of humour to boot.</p><p>“I’ve asked you before and you didn’t know, Dad,” she answered him, giggling.</p><p>“Does this have to be done by Monday?” Gavin asked her, looking through the worksheet. “Man, they really like to overcomplicate it. What are you in? Fourth grade?”</p><p>Millie merely nodded, watching him as he got to grips with the questions and what her teachers wanted her to do.</p><p>“Okay, Prime Factorisation,” Gavin said, clearing his throat in a way that indicated he was about to go into teacher mode. “It’s giving you a number and it wants you to use the branch-tree thing to eventually show the factors that multiply to make it. Even if you can do it in your head, it wants you to basically show your working.”</p><p>Millie continued to stare at him with innocent eyes as she swept her dark brown fringe out of her face. “Okay…so…is it the number that goes into-” she leaned to look at the first number. “-twenty-four?”</p><p>“To start with, yeah,” I nodded, understanding now what the homework was. “So what goes into twenty-four? What multiplication table is it in?”</p><p>There was a pause as the nine year-old thought about it. “Six? Six multiplied by four?”</p><p>“Yep!” Gavin picked up her pencil and wrote ‘24’ again, along with two branches coming out under it with ‘6’ and ‘4’ respectively.  “So they want you to keep doing that until you get down to the lowest prime factors you can. So what times what makes six?”</p><p>“Three times two,” Millie took the pencil back off of him and wrote this down in the same way he had before. “And then two times two equals four, obviously.” She drew some more branches.</p><p>“There you go,” Geoff smiled encouragingly. “So your prime factors are three, two, two and two.”</p><p>She circled these numbers as had been indicated by the worksheet and continued on to the next question, seemingly more confident now that Professor Gavin and his teaching aids had helped. I grinned at him across the table.</p><p>“Y’know when her homework gets harder as she gets older, I am in big trouble,” Geoff chuckled, sipping his black coffee. “There was some complicated wordy problem in her sheets from last week and it just confused me. Just state the math, for fuck’s sake.”</p><p>Millie simply smiled in response to these words as she worked while Gavin checked his phone like the lovesick puppy he was. He’d been doing this constantly, his hand practically glued to his phone ever since Geoff and I had arrived back here at midday after sleeping very little.</p><p>He let out a little squeak as he tapped something on screen, his eyes lighting up. Millie cast him slight side-eye and quietly said, “’Sup with you?”</p><p>“Gavvy’s got a new giiiirlfriend,” Geoff teased him as I laughed.</p><p>“Well, I mean, she’s-“ Gavin stammered.</p><p>“Aww, what’s her name?” Millie grinned, chewing on the end of her pencil.</p><p>“Meg,” I answered quickly. “And Gavin’s in loooove with her.”</p><p>“I- I’m not in <em>love, </em>I don’t-“</p><p>“Better check your butt for arrows Gav, Cupid’s got you bad,” Geoff continued as he folded his arms, highly amused at how embarrassed Gavin had gotten as Millie snickered.</p><p>It was at this moment that the lad’s phone trilled to life, with ‘Meg Turney’ showing up on the screen very clearly. He scrambled to pick it up before Geoff beat him to and believe me he tried. It was like watching two people fight for the last cookie on earth or something as Millie’s pencil case full of stationary went flying.</p><p>“Hey!” Gavin said brightly to Meg, having succeeded in grabbing his phone first whilst Geoff settled instead for saying things in the background that might embarrass him.</p><p>“Don’t forget to check your ass, Gav!” he yelled as Gavin left the room sharpish in response to this while we laughed. The ‘bullying’ of Gavin was practically a rite of passage since he basically lent himself to it most of the time and we knew it didn’t truly upset him ninety-nine percent of the time. He could also give as good as he got with regards to pranks, so the feeling was mutual amongst us all with him.</p><p>“Sorry Millicent,” Geoff apologised to his daughter as he gathered up her pencils from the floor, still chuckling. “I just really wanted to answer that call and tell her that Gavin was in the bathroom checking his ass in the mirror or something.”</p><p>“Gross,” Millie giggled, tidying her stuff back up as she carried on with her homework.</p><p>My cell phone buzzed persistently in my pocket, which didn’t surprise me since I’d sent Ryan a text this morning detailing what had happened last night in regards to the hateful note. I wasn’t planning on telling everyone, like Geoff had last time because it had happened at work, but I did feel that Ryan deserved to know about this new incident.</p><p>“Hey Ry,” I said as I answered his call right as Geoff got up to make Millie lunch.</p><p>“Are you okay?” were his first words, directed at me. I could hear the sounds of Eli and Olivia in the background, one crying and the other laughing. “Hey, you stop doing that to your little sister!”</p><p>Grinning, I responded, imagining the chaos unfolding at his house right now between the not-quite-one and three year-old. “I’m fine…I wasn’t on my own last night. Right now I’m at Geoff’s.” I phrased this very carefully because Millie knew nothing of my relationship with her dad yet and she hadn’t even known he’d been gone all night when she’d woken up this morning as Gavin had told her he’d gone to the grocery store early. This was a little out of character for Geoff who usually slept in, but she’d accepted it. She was also currently not paying one iota of attention to my conversation, but I could never be too careful.</p><p>“Good…” Ryan sighed. “Did you talk to the police about this already?”</p><p>“Yep, I went there this morning.” I picked a loose thread on my jeans as I heard more screaming in the background of the call. “You sure that now is a good time to talk about this?”</p><p>“Yeah, I wanted to make sure that you- Eli, <em>stop </em>taunting Livvy with that toy, she doesn’t like it!” He wasn’t shouting, but he said it so firmly that silence fell suddenly between the two children. “Sorry…” he apologised to me. “I’m taking them to the park in a while, but they’re restless. I wanted to make sure you were okay, I know it upset you last time.”</p><p>I nodded slightly, recalling the horror I’d felt upon reading the note last night, before Geoff had arrived. “It’s okay, I had someone to cuddle it better.” As I said this, Geoff, who was chopping up tomatoes for sandwiches after rolling up his hoodie sleeves, turned his head to shoot me a brief smile, which I returned before glancing at Millie, who was still obliviously writing on her worksheet.</p><p>Ryan took the hint. “Okay, good. I don’t think you should stay in your flat alone for a while until the police sort this out.”</p><p>“I couldn’t agree more,” I replied genuinely. “The cops actually advised that I stay with friends right now and only go back to pick up stuff, just in case this person decides to deliver more notes while I’m there and the situation gets out of hand.”</p><p>“We’ll figure this out,” Ryan assured me. “We won’t let anyone hurt you.”</p><p>I hesitated, words on the tip of my tongue that I just could not say right now in current company, if I could even form them into a proper sentence. “Rye-bread?”</p><p>“Yo?”</p><p>“Thanks.” That would have to do for now.</p><p>“Any time,” he replied. “I’ve got to go, Eli is trying to climb up stuff now. Stay safe, okay?”</p><p>We hung up the call and I looked at my phone screen for a few seconds, not able to properly articulate what I was feeling right now. These two men were just such sweethearts in such different ways, but ultimately they cared for me so much that it made me feel like I was barely enough for them sometimes, which was a little scary.</p><p>“This is Geoff’s cafe, what would you like to order?” Geoff spoke in a dorky, professional-sounding voice as he turned to look at us still sitting at the kitchen table. “We’ve got tomatoes, we’ve got ham, we’ve got cheeses, we’ve got-“</p><p>“Cheese would be great,” I laughed, adoring him in that moment.</p><p>“-we’ve got the ability to let Chef Geoff finish his fuckin’ sentence,” Geoff smirked at me, while I laughed harder.</p><p>“Dad, can I have tomato and cheese?” Millie requested, turning over her worksheet that she’d clearly half-finished. I just hoped we’d helped her enough that it was all correct.</p><p>“Coming right up, ladies!” Geoff grinned as he worked, buttering bread slices as Gavin re-entered the room, now no longer on the phone.</p><p>“Meg and I are going for drinks on Tuesday night!” he beamed triumphantly. “I dunno what I should wear. Help me?” Gavin turned to me, his eyes slightly pleading.</p><p>“Course, Gav,” I replied with a wave of my hand. “I’ll make sure you look dapper enough to knock her dead.”</p><p>“Shame you can’t replace his face though,” Geoff added, before Gavin picked up a small sofa cushion and launched it at his head in retaliation.</p><p>Sometime later and after we’d eaten, I was in Gavin’s bedroom playing dress-up as he tried on shirts that I was deeming to be half-way decent to wear on a casual date. We were looking for sort of smart but not to the extent that he wouldn’t feel like himself. This discarded most of his clothes (the man really loved shorts, I was suddenly noticing).</p><p>“Try this this one on,” I nodded, holding up a white button-up shirt and visualising what everything would look like with denim before handing it to him.</p><p>“I wore this to Jack’s wedding,” Gavin protested. “I’ll look way too formal!”</p><p>“I’m not going to hand you a bow tie and suit, calm down,” I sighed, watching him reluctantly pull it on and stand in front of the mirror, already wearing his best light blue jeans under my advice.</p><p>“Not this.” He removed the white shirt again almost immediately before he’d even halfway done it up and tossed it aside.</p><p>“Alright, how about this one?” I handed him another long-sleeved shirt that was a darkish grey with a very subtle, tiny pattern to it.</p><p>“Hm…maybe.” Again, he shrugged it on and buttoned it up, straightening it up to look at his reflection sceptically. “This is better but…it’s a bit too dark. It’s a bit…funeral-ish.”</p><p>I giggled in agreement now that I was seeing him wearing it. “Okay, fair enough.” I rifled through a few more items of his clothing hanging in his closet. “Oooh!” I found a checked blue and white collared, long-sleeved shirt on a hanger. “This!”</p><p>“That is one of my better shirts…” Gavin admitted, trying it on and buttoning it up. After gazing at himself for a few seconds, I observed that he was keeping it on for longer than any of the others already so that had to be a good sign. He cast another look at himself in his mirror before spinning around to face me. “How do I look?”</p><p>I examined his appearance. “Undo just one button at the top, it makes it look more casual. Otherwise, you’re good.”</p><p>He did so, before raising his eyebrows at me as he tucked his hands into his jeans’ pockets and stood up straight. “Well? Would you do me?”</p><p>I snorted, but not unkindly. “You’re very handsome, Gav.”</p><p>“Fair enough, I’ll take it,” he shrugged, grinning. “Hope blue isn’t her least favourite colour or something.”</p><p>With a slight smile, I just tilted my head a little in slight exasperation. “Gav, I think she already likes you - don’t worry so much.”</p><p>He nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Ellie used to say…” he trailed off, realising that he was talking about his now-ex-girlfriend of several years. Unfortunately, quite a lot of how she would act toward him was controlling and manipulative to say the least, so I could quite easily see where he was going with what he’d been saying. She would have told him to change because she didn’t like him in this shirt. Ellie was one of those partners that we’d all hated but had treated civilly for our friend’s sake whilst wishing that they would move on to someone better for them.</p><p>Bitterly, I remembered an incident very early on in their relationship where Gavin had begged Geoff to drive him to the store to buy her different flowers because the roses he had gotten her ‘were too cliché’. It was pretty much at that point that while Geoff didn’t want to facilitate her taking advantage of Gavin, he also wanted to take the opportunity to try to talk him out of being with her on the drive there and had therefore given in. She’d really upset him and twisted his words during their relationship, leading me to also recalling a much more recent memory of Griffon really wanting to slap the shit out of Ellie, but Geoff had held her back despite agreeing with the sentiment. I was fairly sure that this was the result of Ellie having threatened to tell her friends that Gavin had sexually assaulted her unless she got her way for something or other, which nobody except Gavin seemed willing to tolerate at the time. Although, maybe he just felt trapped and was in too deep.</p><p>Either way, not one of us were sad that she was out of his life.</p><p>Back in the main part of the house and in the living room, Geoff and Millie had been playing ‘Wii Sports: Bowling’ on the television in our absence now that her homework was complete, which lead to me walking back in to the sounds of Geoff howling about not winning and Millie yelling, “In your face, Dad!”</p><p>“Geoff, did your nine year-old daughter just <em>beat you?</em>” I mockingly stage-whispered.</p><p>“I know, I can’t believe it!” Geoff whined as Millie laughed and jumped around victoriously. “She destroyed me!”</p><p>“But Geoff, you play video games for <em>a living</em>; what will the others <em>say?</em>” I continued, trying and failing not to laugh. “Our mighty boss has fallen!”</p><p>Geoff grinned at me, throwing the Wii-mote down onto the sofa in defeat. “I guess Millie’s got my job now. She’s in charge. Everybody can listen to her.”</p><p>“She’d do a better job to be fair,” Gavin said cheekily, resulting in Geoff grabbing him to strong arm him into a headlock right as Millie picked up a cushion to beat him with now that he was stuck.</p><p>“Aw, let him go!” I chortled, unable to help myself at the frankly ridiculous sight. I’d always thought of Gavin as younger than he was and Millie was actually a child, while Geoff, in his late thirties, had the mentality of someone much younger in spirit. All of that combined with the fact that the two men were very successful in their careers as they physically wrestled like children had me doubled over laughing.</p><p>If there was one thing that Geoff Ramsey had taught me, it was that you’re only as young as you feel.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Dirty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You have a photoshoot in which you need to wear a very tight catsuit. Geoff and Ryan decide that neither of them can wait to have you.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>1. Explicit Smut Warning - from about halfway down.</b><br/>2. On the random chance you’re reading this and haven’t seen ‘X-Ray &amp; Vav’ (finished with only two seasons), I seriously recommend it, it’s really funny! No plot spoilers here. I should also mention that Phillip and Jade aren’t real people and Cat isn’t a real character.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Monday morning was wet. The rain was once again driving at the windows but I was lucky enough to have been staying with Geoff all weekend, resulting in getting a rare car ride to work with him and Gavin after having dropped Millie off with Griffon for the week. Normally, I would have been walking in the rain and getting soaked, which would have been particularly unfortunate due to the promo photoshoot I was a part of today with Gavin and Ray for their animated series, ‘X-Ray &amp; Vav’. While I didn’t voice any characters within the show, they had - along with the other show creators - decided that I fit the bill the best for a certain character with regards to physical appearance and had approached me a while back to check that I was alright with this.</p><p>At the time I’d said yes as I didn’t see the harm and it was another thing to put on my professional resume I guess, but I was now slightly anxious about it since I’d realised days after accepting – weeks ago – that I’d be wearing a black, skin-tight catsuit. I’d never really had any serious issue with how I looked, but I was definitely as self-conscious as any normal adult woman was when they wore tight and/or revealing clothing in public, which was why I mostly wore jeans and t-shirts unless the weather was particularly hot.</p><p>Since they were including the main protagonists and antagonists of the show they’d also cast people to represent Hilda and the Corpirate too, since Lindsay and Geoff respectively looked nothing like the characters they voiced. Michael and Ryan would be able to fairly accurately represent their characters as they were physically based off of them to a large extent, with the assistance of costumes and makeup too in the former’s case. Ryan, with his background in theatre, always jumped at the chance to dress up and act, with Michael being excited to do something different too.</p><p>“You coming to watch?” I asked with a grin to Geoff as Gavin and I climbed out of his car to enter the aircraft hangar that was the building that housed our production company.</p><p>“Maybe later on, I’ve gotta get some stuff done first,” he shrugged back. “I can’t miss an opportunity to see Gav and Ray in unitards though, it’ll be fuckin’ hilarious.”</p><p>Ah, did I mention I was going to be in a skin-tight suit? Yeah, I wasn’t going to be the only one.</p><p>“Screw you,” Gavin laughed, closing the car door and entering through the pass-locked door to the building, followed closely by me as we made our way through to where our huge green-screen drape was in its own open area that was used for various shoots and livestream activities. Milling around was one of our awesome makeup artists by the name of Kara, who already had Michael in his costume consisting of a lot of faux furs and a faux-fur realistic-looking bearskin hood. She was currently painting vivid red stripes on his face and chest like war paint.</p><p>“Looking good, boi!” Gavin called out to him, causing him to shoot us a grin as Kara begged him to keep still with makeup sponges in both hands.</p><p>“Thanks, boi!”</p><p>“Is Ray changing?” Gavin inquired to Jon, who nodded distractedly back at him whilst fiddling with his expensive camera. Jordan and Lindsay had been responsible for creating and animating the show with input on character ideas from everybody else, meaning that she was probably around here somewhere too, but Jon was to be the photographer as he quite regularly was with his background.</p><p>“Ah!” Jordan beamed as he spotted me. “Your costume’s in the back room over there. We’re starting in twenty, ‘kay?”</p><p>Nodding, I hastened over into the small office room with blinds drawn over the windows. It was being used as a temporary dressing room today I figured, stepping inside to see Lindsay and Barbara discussing something, both of them greeting me with cheery smiles.</p><p>“Hey, Cat the cat-burglar is here!” Barbara said, grinning, referring to the character in the show that I would be portraying.</p><p>Hanging up, the suit didn’t look so bad, but when I undressed down to my underwear and began to slide my legs into it I realised how little it really left to the imagination. Short of being transparent, it was about as revealing as it got, despite being long-sleeved and down to my ankles. Zipping it up at the front after Lindsay had lent me a hand getting into it properly without getting it twisted, Barbara glanced up from her cell phone to see how I looked.</p><p>I waited for the verdict from my two female friends and colleagues, because although there was a full-length mirror in here, I also valued their opinion and knew they would tell me outright if something was wrong. I was really glad I’d worn a thong though; I was fairly sure with how tight this latex-style suit was, if I had even one unshaven leg hair you’d see it through the material.</p><p>“There’s just one last thing…” Barbara hesitated, looking at my appearance critically. “The character normally doesn’t zip the suit all the way up…if you get what I mean. She’s pretty confident about her…assets.”</p><p>“Oh yeah…” I’d forgotten this entirely, but she was right. Pretty commonly, Cat had her cleavage showing a little.</p><p>“You don’t have to do that if you don’t want, though,” Lindsay added, seeing my hesitation. “This is already brave of you.”</p><p>I shrugged a little, thinking that if I was going to do this, I might as well go the whole way and represent accurately. I tugged the zip down a bit, just enough that my cleavage was showing whilst not revealing my underwear across the front of my chest. Again, I’d thought this through beforehand and was wearing a black, smooth-cupped bra in preparation.</p><p>“Awesome!” Barbara said, leaning in with an eyeliner pencil. “Hold still a second.”</p><p>“Doesn’t Cat wear a mask anyway?” I asked curiously. I obviously had a good idea of this character’s personality and appearance already, having been lucky enough to view the couple of existing, unreleased episodes before today.</p><p>Lindsay nodded. “We might do a shoot with just you and Ryan though so your face won’t be totally covered all the time.”</p><p>Butterflies stirred in my stomach at that prospect. Obviously I’d known that he was going to be present and an active part of today, but I hadn’t thought too deeply into it until now.</p><p>“Close your eyes,” Barbara instructed me as I did so, allowing her to line my eyelids in the dark makeup as Lindsay brushed my hair and grabbed the velvety black mask I’d been talking about before. She lifted some of my hair up at the back while I tied the ribbons to keep it on my face before straightening it so I could see out of it better. Dropping my hair and fanning it around my shoulders at the front, the pair of them stood back.</p><p>“Perfect.”</p><p>“Girl, you look awesome.”</p><p>Biting my lip, I twirled to look into the mirror for the first time and nearly fell over. I was almost unrecognisable – though the mask helped with that. While I was never normally this confident in my choices of clothing (even my jeans weren’t this tight around my hips and ass, damn), I did somehow actually <em>pull this off.</em> And with my naturally dark, wavy hair and hazel eyes, I looked so much more the part than I even thought I would initially. No wonder they’d asked me to do this. I slid on the small-heeled black zip-up thigh-high boots to complete the look, actually feeling like I looked pretty good.</p><p>We all bundled out of the room and back into the main area, with me feeling considerably more confident now that I was convinced I didn’t just look stupid. Head held high, I made my way back over to the green screen where Michael – looking incredibly like his character Mogar now thanks to Kara, and holding a ‘diamond’ sword to boot – was standing talking to Gavin and Ray, who were wearing royal blue and bright green lycra bodysuits respectively in ‘Superman’ style, with capes. While Gavin’s was accented with red to pointedly display his British flag’s colours, Ray’s was accented with black with an ‘X’ to represent his X-Ray powers.</p><p>“Whoa, you look great!” Michael whistled with a grin as Gavin and Ray just stared at me like they’d never seen a woman before. Jordan eyed in me in professional approval and to his credit, averted his eyes from my chest quickly.</p><p>Jade and Phillip, who were people we knew as a company professionally and as fans of the show on top of that, stood to the side as Hilda and the Corpirate, also both looking the part. Honestly, the casting was entirely on-point and it was blowing my mind a little to see the animated show come to life like this in one room.</p><p>Ryan, in his white shirt, black bow-tie and black suit jacket, along with his red knee-length kilt, strolled over, his golden and partially cracked crown already atop his head. Kara had put just a little dark makeup on him under his eyes, just to make him look a little sleep-deprived and consequently more crazy when he was in character and not smiling like the adorable dork we all knew him to really be. For once though, he appeared to be completely unprepared for my appearance despite knowing I was going to be here in a catsuit today. I watched with slight supressed satisfaction as his eyes widened a little and his mouth opened slightly at the sight of me as I deliberately pretended not to notice his gaze sliding right the way down and then back up my figure.</p><p>“First shoot is going to be everybody!” Jordan called out as Jon checked his camera in preparation before adjusting the tripod it sat on accordingly. “Get into character!”</p><p>“I want the Mad King and Cat over on <em>your</em> right,” Lindsay directed us, making it clear as she faced us which direction we should coordinate ourselves in. “X-Ray and Vav in the centre with Mogar just behind them, also central, the three of you forward a little from everyone else. Over on <em>your</em> left, Hilda and the Corpirate!”</p><p>She waited while we all got into place with me visualising how Cat would stand and pose. She was a cocky, slick character that could easily break into anywhere undetected and had been hired by the Mad King and Corpirate on separate occasions to steal for them, making her somewhat lacking in any loyalty as she would simply gravitate to whomever would pay for her skills.</p><p>Hands on hips, I held myself confidently as Ryan stood beside me. The clicking of Jon’s camera was apparent as he made sure to get several dozen snaps in case anybody blinked or there was an issue of some other kind.</p><p>Michael raised Mogar’s sword above his head in a spark of improvisation which made Lindsay yell, “YES!”. This was followed by Gavin and Ray also high-fiving, resulting in another great shot as everybody revelled in being in-character.</p><p>“Mogar is pleased with being the centre of attention,” Michael growled, true to the show and making everybody laugh in approval around him.</p><p>“Just Hilda, X-Ray and Vav!” Lindsay called, as everyone shuffled and most of us stepped off to the sides, out of frame.</p><p>Alone on one side as Phillip and Michael stood on the other, Ryan stepped a little closer to me than was strictly necessary to allow me to hear his quiet words.</p><p>“If you think for second that you’re getting away from me today after wearing <em>this,</em> you can think again.”</p><p>Tingles shot directly down my spine at this. I couldn’t help but smile as I purposefully folded my arms, only serving to accentuate my chest even more than it already was. “I’ll bear that in mind.” I knew from the tone of his voice that I couldn’t look at him right now. I’d probably melt.</p><p>“Mad King, Corpirate and Cat! Cat, front and centre, you two guys either side behind her,” Lindsay told us as we positioned ourselves. I was handed a large diamond-shaped glass paperweight to hold as though I’d just stolen it for either one of the bad guys behind me. Looking particularly shifty, I cast a smug look at the camera as I held it up in front of my face, with Phillip and Ryan presumably looking evil and mad behind me, respectively. We re-posed a few times until Lindsay, Jordan and Jon were happy, before it was time for the shoot with just Ryan and I that had been mentioned in the dressing room.</p><p>“I want you guys to stand in the centre, back-to-back,” Lindsay said, clearly seeing a vision in her mind’s eye. “Both of you holding your respective prop pieces – your mask and your crown.”</p><p>With a nod of understanding, I pulled at the ribbon of my mask and removed it, draping it over my open, outstretched palm as Ryan removed his crown and allowed it to dangle on his fingertip at roughly the same height the other side. This was amended a little by Jordan, who dashed up to us to make sure that there was symmetry despite the big height difference, before returning back to stand behind Jon.</p><p>“Okay, look back at one another,” Jordan instructed as he looked at us through the laptop that was linked to the camera, where the shots were lining up and displaying on the screen. So we did, with my eyes angled slightly upwards and his slightly downwards to compensate for how much shorter than him I was, while we still stayed mostly back-to-back and smirked at each other.</p><p>Gavin piped up, “Oh the fans are <em>so</em> going to ship these two now!”</p><p>“They already do!” laughed Lindsay. “Look it up: Mad King x Cat. We thought we’d pander to the fans a little.”</p><p>Previously unaware of this, I giggled a little as Ryan raised an eyebrow, both of us looking over at Lindsay in a mixture of amusement and questioning.</p><p>“Why don’t you just make them make out on camera and get it over with,” Ray suggested jokingly but in his usual flat voice, causing everyone to chuckle.</p><p>“I said we’re pandering a little, not making softcore porn, Jesus,” Lindsay pretended to scold him with a laugh, shaking her head. “Let’s not go too far.”</p><p>“We are both standing <em>right</em> here,” I laughed at Ray, who shrugged with humour in his eyes.</p><p>It was at this moment that I noticed Geoff walk up behind Jon and Jordan, taking in my appearance with a slow smile as Lindsay got everybody back on to stage for an ‘action-orientated’ picture in which Mogar and the Mad King would be fighting X-Ray and Vav whilst Hilda and I stood in the background with her looking puzzled by the fight and me looking intentionally suspicious as if I was up to something.</p><p>The final few shoots were individual waist-up shots of each of us before Lindsay finalised by saying that there would be some more of just X-Ray and Vav and if everyone else wanted to go and change and leave, they could.</p><p>“There’s a closet around the corner with a lock on the door. Two minutes.“ Ryan said very quietly for my ears only right as I click-clacked over to Geoff in my boots.</p><p>“Hey,” I smiled at him as I watched Ryan walk over to the laptop to see the pictures with Jon.</p><p>I didn’t get to say anything more before Geoff very promptly took my hand with a gesture to follow him and led me off down the corridor.</p><p>Oh holy fuck, he was heading for the same closet that Ryan had just meant. What was I supposed to do now?</p><p>“Uh, you should know something,” I said hesitantly as he let go of my hand now that I was following him willingly, but as he proceeded to hold open the door with his anchor-tattooed hand, suggestively smiling in a way that implied that I really wanted to enter this closet, I couldn’t resist going along with this.</p><p>“What should I know?” he asked softly, closing the door behind us and switching on the light as his eyes sparkled. “That you look fuckin’ hot in that outfit? Because I already know that.”</p><p>“No, you should know that Ry-“ His lips met mine as he pushed me gently against the wall of the small room, eliciting a moment of weakness from me where I forgot what I was trying to say and just enjoyed the feeling of his soft mouth on mine. My brain scrambled to catch up a few seconds later. “Wait, Geoff, wait.”</p><p>This time, he listened and pulled back a little. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m totally fine…it’s just that Ryan just told me to meet him in here too…” I finally explained as I watched his face for his reaction.</p><p>He raised his eyebrows. “Did he now?”</p><p>As if on cue, the door opened and Ryan entered, closing and flicking the lock on it behind him before blinking in surprise at the presence of Geoff, who had already got me more-or-less pinned against the wall. Smirking, he folded his arms, looking utterly like the cat who had found the cream.</p><p>“Well, well, well. Now what?”</p><p>Geoff hesitated for only a moment, his tone resolute. “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>“Neither am I,” Ryan replied, equally as firmly.</p><p>The two stared at each other for a second before seeming to come to an understanding of some kind that I was unaware of until they both turned their intense gazes back to me, questioningly.</p><p>
  <em>Oh God.</em>
</p><p>I could do nothing but gawp as they waited for my consent to the obvious request they were silently asking of me. I suddenly felt so inexperienced all over again, despite having been with them both sexually now, separately, but as I glanced from Geoff to Ryan I knew that I trusted them both completely. So I nodded.</p><p>With Geoff still being closest to me, he smoothly unzipped my catsuit down to my stomach where the zip ended before pulling it off my shoulders for me. I wriggled and stepped out of it until I was standing in bra and panties, watching as he beckoned me to the middle of the room before I felt the hands of Ryan undoing the clasp of my bra from behind me. He then slid my panties down my thighs, kissing my leg lightly as he went and making me shiver for reasons unrelated to feeling cold.</p><p>For a moment, I wondered how the two of them were going to get past the implied sense of awkwardness that was the reason this hadn’t happened sooner, but I quickly realised that it was pretty one-sided with Ryan clearly feeling the thrill in actively sharing me while Geoff focused purely on me to get past his own slight awkwardness to begin with.</p><p>Warm hands running down my bare sides slowly and his lips to my ear from behind me, Ryan merely whispered, “Show me how good you are at sucking your boss’ cock.”</p><p>With a tiny whimper at the clear demand, I was already on my knees with no encouragement needed as I reached to unzip Geoff’s fly. I met his eyes as he smirked down at me, already aroused while I tugged his jeans and boxers down just enough to access what I needed before taking him into my mouth, his hand finding my hair with gentle caress as he moaned quietly in appreciation.</p><p>I could feel Ryan’s gaze on the back of my head like fire as I worked on Geoff, employing all of the techniques I remembered from my past experiences despite them being far tamer than this. Using my hand, swirling my tongue, moaning a little while he was almost down my throat…and all the while, Ryan was watching with absolute hunger in his eyes.</p><p>Lightly gripping my hair with his fingers, Geoff indicated for me to stop. “I want to fuck you,” he stated in a slightly gravelly voice as he decided to take control. “Turn around.”</p><p>Undeniably wet with no foreplay needed on my part, I smiled innocently and stood up before turning around to face Ryan and bending over at the waist for Geoff, who ran a hand up under me to stroke his fingers between my legs, which I’d obligingly parted a little. Automatically, I couldn’t help pushing my ass out for him to give him more access, which he took advantage of by pushing into my pussy slowly and causing me to groan quietly in need.</p><p>Having removed his crown, kilt and underwear, Ryan stepped closer, the implication of his dominance on me still very apparent. “Open.”</p><p>Again, I did as I was told, now taking the second cock in the space of two minutes into my mouth. Never in my life had I ever been this god-damned dirty and it was with a co-worker and my boss at the same time in our place of work no less, which sent electric heat surging through me at the taboo nature of it all.</p><p>Ryan’s grip of my hair was a little rougher, his hips not staying stationary like Geoff’s had as he allowed me to acclimatise to the feeling of him filling me before thrusting gently and repeatedly whilst behind me, Geoff fucked me at a similar pace as he dug his fingernails into the tops of my thighs.</p><p>I groaned around Ryan’s dick as I began to feel slightly out of control from the pleasure and the position that these two men had me in. Sure I could have stopped it if I’d wanted, but stopping wasn’t even crossing my mind as an action to execute. I was in heaven from their fierce possession and in being bent over like this, Geoff was hitting exactly the right spot inside of me which caused me to dig my own nails into Ryan’s hips without being able to help it.</p><p>“Mhmm…” Ryan thrust slightly deeper into my throat and held himself there, choking me unexpectedly as I realised he was blocking my airway. I paused, closing my eyes and trusting him as I trembled a little as Geoff continued in his pace. Gasping as Ryan pulled back out, I only had time to take one more breath before he did it again.</p><p>And there was my insanely submissive streak rearing its head, loving that he was so thoroughly enjoying doing something as twisted as choking me in such an intimate and filthy way.</p><p>I felt Geoff run his hand delicately across my ass before bringing it down in a hard slap and making me moan louder as Ryan allowed me to breathe again, chuckling at the introduction of this new element as he smirked down at me in lust.</p><p>“I think she wants you to do that again,” he stated slightly breathlessly in encouragement as Geoff merely groaned a little and repeated his actions several more times until I whimpered at the burning sensation from his spanking.</p><p>“She definitely deserves it for this,” Geoff replied in a low voice lilted with desire as he continued his pounding, significantly increasing how hard he was going.</p><p>I was pretty sure that by now, my ass was probably a pale shade of pink at the least as I carried on working on Ryan with my mouth and hand as I gripped his hip for support. His hand went back to my hair, gripping harder than before as he let out a mumbled warning that he was close. And just like last time, I had no intention of pulling away and allowed him to hold me still as he thrust a couple more times into my open mouth, his orgasm flowing down the back of my throat as I swallowed submissively.</p><p>Even in my relative trance, I became aware that Geoff was struggling to hold back now and as he gripped my ass with his fingers again to gain more purchase on me, he too filled me within the next minute.</p><p>“You have no idea how many days I’ve spent thinking about this scenario,” Ryan sighed as Geoff eased out of me and I slowly stood up so as not to get a crick in my neck. “Even if Geoff has always persisted that he didn’t want to be involved in a threesome.”</p><p>Geoff was quiet at first, which worried me, but then his lips quirked upwards. “I had no idea how good it could be.”</p><p>Totally naked and still unfulfilled unlike them, my hand subconsciously went to my crotch for some relief but Ryan’s eyes immediately followed my train of thought.</p><p>“Sit on this.” He placed his hand on a disused wooden desk near to the corner of the small room which I hopped on to obediently, leaning back a little as Geoff walked around it to stand behind me, able to access my neck easily from this position as he kissed there softly.</p><p>“You’ve been such a good girl,” he breathed against my skin, sending a spike of pleasure through me as I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side for him, wondering if I had a new fetish for praise or something. Was that a thing? It had to be.</p><p>A jolt of pleasure ran through me as Ryan inserted three fingers into me with very little difficulty considering how wet I was and curved them upwards a bit, watching for my reaction while he moved them. Sure enough, it took mere seconds for me to emit a moan to confirm he’d found my G-spot as he began to move his fingers in and out rapidly, edging me closer and closer with every passing second.</p><p>“Oh <em>holy fuck,</em>” I gasped, feeling the intense pressure of bliss ripple through me whilst I tried to hold back, wanting the feeling to last longer. I felt Geoff smile against my neck, which only heightened my arousal as I felt my body tremble uncontrollably in response to the stimulation. This was made worse when Ryan then used his thumb to stroke at my clit at the same time with every alternating thrust of his fingers.</p><p>Instinctively I bucked my hips a little into this, moaning louder and not giving a damn who heard me at this point because I was so lost in the moment. Ryan seemed to though, because he smirked and raised an eyebrow at Geoff who also seemed to silently agree that I was making way too much noise before he covered my mouth firmly with his hand, whispering in my ear to be ‘be quiet’.</p><p>None of this helped me be discreet in the slightest as the feeling of being dominated intensified in my own mind from his actions, but I was now considerably more muffled as I fell apart completely, moaning almost gutturally into his hand and shaking like I never ever had before during an orgasm. I felt Ryan slow down considerately as I rode it out, holding on to the edges of the desk with a vice-like grip.</p><p>Taking several deep breaths with my eyes still closed, I finally relaxed as Geoff nipped my earlobe affectionately and Ryan withdrew his fingers with smug satisfaction.</p><p>“I’ve…never done any of that before,” I panted, slowly sitting up, wet-through with sweat from exertion.</p><p>“Maybe you should do it more often,” remarked Ryan with a smile in his voice, his eyes looking into mine hungrily as he went to lick his fingers clean slowly, causing me to stare at him in wide-eyed, fresh arousal.</p><p>Geoff shook his head with a slight chuckle and the words, “filthy bastard” as he buttoned his jeans back up and picked my catsuit and underwear back up off the floor.</p><p>Smirking at the reactions from us both, Ryan continued, disregarding the fact that Geoff was referring to himself being part of that mix. “What? She tastes good.”</p><p>I eyed the clothing I was facing having to put back on, squirming a little at how messy and dirty I felt. I was definitely going to need to walk back to my place and have a shower before I worked the rest of my day, that was for sure. And that was if the warm water didn’t cause my spanked ass to sting too much.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Danger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Time for another Minecraft Let’s Play! Mostly fluff and fun. Burnie and Joel need to talk to you and you immediately think you’re in trouble.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Putting costume clothing back on in order to go and retrieve and change into your actual clothing was a weird prospect but here we were, as I couldn’t reasonably walk down the corridor naked without probably being pulled into a meeting about my mental health. As Ryan and Geoff subtly left the closet, I waited a minute or two before doing the same, making my way back to the temporary dressing room where my jeans, t-shirt, hoodie and trainers were waiting.</p><p>“Hey! Where have you been?” Barbara made me jump as I rounded the corner and nearly walked into her, my head still very much in the clouds and my body still tingly. “I thought you’d gone home in this catsuit!”</p><p>“No, I was hungry, I went to grab food,” I lied smoothly. “Hey, did the pictures turn out alright?”</p><p>Her eyes lit up distractedly. “Yes! They’re amazing, honestly. Thanks so much for doing this.”</p><p>“No problem,” I smiled. “It was fun!”</p><p>Oh she had no idea how much I meant that.</p><p>I left her in order to dress back into my normal clothes with relative haste before walking towards the building’s exit door. I did, however, hesitate with my hand hovering over the handle. I was supposed to be at my flat as little as possible right now because of the very real written threats to my life, but it was easily the closest shower I could access from work. Surely I’d be okay just to dash in and clean up? I spent about thirty seconds standing there, working it out by myself before deciding that I didn’t want to take the chance if I could help it. So, resisting my anxiety kicking in to tell me that I was a liability, I rolled my eyes to myself and resolved to go and ask Geoff or Ryan to come home with me, just in case.</p><p>Our office would be empty until later on today when Achievement Hunter would converge upon it en mass, but for now the only person reclining lazily in his desk chair was Geoff, who was clearly enjoying the short-lived peace and quiet and had poured himself some whiskey. He greeted me with a warm smile.</p><p>“I really didn’t see myself ever going for that,” he stated, before I could get a word out.</p><p>I promptly closed the door behind me to avoid anyone overhearing.</p><p>“What changed your mind?” I inquired as I watched him sip from his glass, his blue eyes never leaving mine.</p><p>“You.”</p><p>I felt my cheeks pinken a little, fully aware of the fact that my ass still felt pretty warm against my jeans from his spanking not twenty minutes ago. I didn’t really know whether I should be proud, complimented or both that he’d never really been interested in having a threesome with another guy involved before he’d realised in the moment that he wanted me – of all people – too badly to care.</p><p>With a sheepish grin, I took a few paces toward him and perched on his lap at an angle, relieved that his desk chair didn’t have arm rests on either side as he slipped his arms around my waist.</p><p>“Have you always been this dirty or do we just bring it out in you?” he asked with a playful smile.</p><p>“Little of both, probably,” I shrugged, thinking about the things I’d discovered about myself through them that I had no idea I even liked sexually before the last few weeks. I reached to stroke the stubbly side of his face affectionately. “I wanted to go home and have a quick shower, but I don’t really want to go alone…”</p><p>His grip on me tightened protectively as he finished his whiskey. “I’ll give you a ride.”</p><p>***</p><p>Refreshed and overjoyed at there being no more hate mail waiting for me from over the weekend, I was feeling pretty content that afternoon as our office and side office filled back up for a session of Minecraft. Since we were recording ahead of schedule by a fair amount now, we were doing a Halloween-themed Let’s Play early to be released at the end of the month. To me the whole of October felt like Halloween, so I really didn’t mind this in the slightest. As I loaded my capture software, Geoff was explaining that the entire B-Team office had come together to build us an awesome ‘haunted house’ within the game, featuring traps, tricks and treats.</p><p>“There are rules,” Geoff stated, as Jeremy and Matt nodded by his side, having explained to him first as two of the creation’s builders. “There are six floors. Nametags are off so we can’t see each other through walls. Every ten minutes, we have the option to move up a floor and the traps and mobs get more numerous and dangerous. Along the way, we have to collect golden apples that are scattered around in chests. The person with the most apples at the end of sixty minutes wins.”</p><p>“Can we eat the golden apples to help us to survive?” Gavin asked straight away, spinning around in his chair three-hundred and sixty degrees with his feet out.</p><p>“Yeah but you need them to win,” Jeremy replied. “So maybe don’t do that.”</p><p>“Can we kill each other?” Ryan raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Yes. But-” Matt continued as everybody immediately looked around at each other murderously, “-if you’re killed by another player it allows them to steal your shit. Dying doesn’t mean you’re out of the game, it just disadvantages you because you’ll lose your stuff.”</p><p>“So wait,” I felt the need to clarify something. “Every ten minutes a new floor is unlocked and we can’t climb higher until those points? And near the end of the game all the floors are unlocked?”</p><p>“Yep,” Jeremy nodded. “You’ll all wind up having to go all over because you’re all looking for the apples in the chests and there aren’t that many of them. That’s also why you can kill other players to steal from them.”</p><p>“What about armour and weapons?” Michael asked, tapping ‘A’ on his controller to load Minecraft.</p><p>“There’s various weapons and armour scattered about too,” Matt nodded.</p><p>The cobblestone and dark wood mansion was huge and towered above us in-game, stretching out in both directions to our left and right. The B-Team really had gone to town on this as a group; it was spectacular in both size and decoration with seven beds outside, ready for us to set our spawns should we die - which was going to happen repeatedly.</p><p>“Do we have food?” Jack asked as Ray looked in the chest outside of the front doors.</p><p>“You can all take some food from this chest in with you,” Geoff said as Jeremy and Matt returned to the side office in order to spectate us on their own accounts, the both of them set to ‘creative mode’ meaning they had unlimited health and could fly around to their hearts’ content to see where we all were.</p><p>Chaos ensued pretty quickly. The building was deliberately darkened in a lot of places and lit up for our eyes only by the placement of redstone torches, which were not bright enough to prevent mobs from showing up and trying to kill us. For the first floor of the building, only Geoff and Jack crossed paths unexpectedly and both decided that since neither of them had gained anything yet there was no point in fighting one another. Gavin died multiple times trying to unnecessarily fight off several mobs at once when he really should have just been running away at this point.</p><p>Floor two was unlocked at the ten minute mark, but the availability of more golden apples didn’t make the game easier by a long shot with more than just mobs trying to kill us now. With one apple on my person, I ran through a trip wire and was nearly shot to death by dispensers firing arrows at me from the wall. I breathed an audible sigh of relief as I lingered in the corridor on three hearts, eating some normal food to regain some health slowly and praying that nobody found me in the meantime.</p><p>“Ooh!” Gavin said aloud as he clearly found something of value, which was a mistake. Despite not being able to see who was where in the building with nametags off, he was now a target if anyone did happen to spot him.</p><p>“Gavin’s got something good,” Jack remarked with a laugh. “Better hope I don’t find you!”</p><p>“FUCK, that skeleton made me fuckin’ jump!” Geoff cursed as he visibly jolted a little in real life. “No, DON’T fuckin’ kill me!” He must have evaded it, because no death message popped up.</p><p>Ray was very quietly making his way through the house. “I’m mad there aren’t any roses in any of these chests.”</p><p>“Roses won’t help you,” Michael pointed out bluntly.</p><p>“That’s not what Tuxedo Mask would say,” Ray replied, referring to the Sailor Moon character that his Minecraft skin was based off of along with the reason for his obsession over roses.</p><p>“How are you going to hurt anything with roses though?”</p><p>“I dunno, they’re pretty thorny,” Ray replied, at which point Gavin completely misheard this conversation.</p><p>“Who’s horny?” he asked.</p><p>“Just me,” Ray answered him without hesitation, much to our amusement.</p><p>Opening another chest with a creak, I found a second golden apple and fought to hide my glee so as not to give away how I was doing in-game in real life, but then I turned around and came face-to-face with Ryan’s character.</p><p>“Hey there,” he said brightly, brandishing an iron sword.</p><p>“Aw shit,” I mumbled as he laughed, chasing me around the room before finally slaughtering me and stealing my two apples. “Dammit Ryan!”</p><p>I respawned at the beds outside and ran back into the building, aiming to either find more apples or a weapon to perhaps seek revenge and take back what he’d stolen from me. Then I ran into Michael.</p><p>“I don’t have anything at all,” I told him firmly, hoping he’d leave me alone. “Ryan just killed me, my inventory is empty.”</p><p>“Hmm, well…okay, fine,” Michael replied, wandering off. Since my death message had appeared on screen mere seconds earlier, he believed that I was being honest about him having nothing to gain.</p><p>A strangled scream issued from Gavin across the room as a death message for him appeared on our screens involving a creeper.</p><p>“Well there’s a hole in the floor now,” Jack commented with a chuckle, clearly having been near to this incident. “Gavin’s ruining the house, guys.”</p><p>“What’s new?” Geoff asked sarcastically.</p><p>“Arrrghhh, I had like four golden apples! <em>Shit on it!”</em> Gavin yelled, fumbling and dropping his controller to the floor in frustration. As he scrambled to pick it up, Jack announced that he’d just picked up two out of the four apples, but presumably the other two had been blown up.</p><p>The next timer went off, opening up the third floor. I made my way straight up to it, assuming that the apples on the lower floors had been taken by the others and instead made a beeline for chests up higher, thinking that my odds were probably better. It took a little time to find one but when I did, I noticed that Geoff was camping right beside it and was holding a golden sword to boot.</p><p>
  <em>Hm, maybe not this one.</em>
</p><p>I turned and went to find another chest, running into Jack who immediately attempted to kill me, but I got lucky enough to get more hits in before he did, successfully ending him first.</p><p>“YES! Suck it!” I cheered as the others laughed while I picked up winnings.</p><p>“Aw fuck,” Jack muttered. “I feel like I was probably in the lead there.”</p><p>“How many apples did you have?” Michael inquired.</p><p>Jack, with no loyalty to me whatsoever, outed me straight away and painted a target on my back. “Five. [Y/N]’s got them all now.”</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, if I get her I’ll have nine,” Geoff grinned, much to everyone’s surprise.</p><p>“Oh I’m coming for you, Ramsey,” Michael threatened, upon hearing how many Geoff had currently.</p><p>“Try it, I’ve got armour and a sword,” Geoff said smugly.</p><p>Michael paused. “…oh. Then wait a bit. I’ll be there soon!”</p><p>Floor four unlocked.</p><p>I giggled at this banter as I rounded the corner and entered another small room, observing it carefully before I went for its chest. Faintly, I could see the outline of what looked like a trail of redstone around the back of it and promptly left again. That was a trapped chest if I’d ever seen one.</p><p>Obliviously, Gavin ran straight past me into the room. He opened the chest with a creak, which was followed by a tiny pause right before the TNT triggered.</p><p>
  <em>BOOM. </em>
</p><p>“AWWW FOR FUC-“</p><p>The room erupted into laughter at his misfortune as Jeremy called happily from the side office, “You fell for the exploding chest!”</p><p>“God dammit Gavin,” I smirked. “I was right there and then you ran past me and opened it! That was beautiful.”</p><p>“Did you know?” Gavin asked me accusingly.</p><p>“Yeah, I could tell it was trapped,” I nodded with a small shrug. “Bad luck, Gav.”</p><p>Now that he’d created yet another hole in the floor and partially in the wall too, I bypassed this now-useless room to find another. The only unfortunate thing was that anything he’d been holding had definitely been destroyed in the blast.</p><p>“Ryan, no…” Geoff warned him suddenly as the pair had obviously come together somewhere in the building.</p><p>“I think I can take you,” Ryan replied confidently.</p><p>“I don’t think you can,” Geoff shot back, the two of them at a head.</p><p>“Oh my God,” Michael laughed, having found the pair facing each other down on the second floor. “They’re just staring at each other, both with helmets and swords. Oh- now they’re fighting. Yup.”</p><p>Unfortunately for Geoff, Ryan won out and took everything Geoff had had before turning for Michael, who scarpered sharpish to avoid the same fate, by the sounds of things.</p><p>The fifth floor unlocked, with me proceeding upwards now that I was allowed to, confident that I was probably the first to do so. As long as I didn’t get murdered now, I was in pretty good shape to win this thing. I rounded the corner and bumped into a zombie and a skeleton simultaneously, letting out a squeak and fleeing before I fell victim to their attacks.</p><p>“I haven’t found a weapon this whole game yet!” I complained, hiding in a room to the side.</p><p>“Me neither,” replied a chagrined Michael, still attempting to escape from Ryan’s deadly resolve.</p><p>“Shit, that was a tripwire,” I commented as I ran through it, holding my breath and hoping that it wasn’t linked to TNT too. Luckily for me, it was only linked to projectile arrows which depleted my health a little, but nowhere enough to kill me since I had the sense to move out of their trajectory quick enough.</p><p>“Ohhh boy, this zombie really wants me right now.” Distracted by mobs, Ryan lost Michael entirely as he tried to fend off several enemies at once. “These zombies are out for my <em>blood.”</em></p><p>Gavin, who now seemed to realise that he probably wasn’t going to win, had gotten bored. As he ran past me in-game, I frowned as he looked directly at me and said absolutely nothing.</p><p>“Gaaav…what are you doing?” I asked him suspiciously as I watched him race away from me, leaving me wondering why he hadn’t tried to steal my stuff.</p><p>“Nothin’,” he said lightly, continuing on out of my sight.</p><p>“I think Gavin’s being a mingey prick,” Michael muttered.</p><p>Shrugging, I looted another chest for its goods and finally obtained an iron sword which I immediately equipped - it was about damn time. I turned around to see fire at the other end of the corridor and groaned as I realised what Gavin’s plan clearly was: burn it down. Burn it all down.</p><p>“Gavin, fucking stop it,” I laughed, approaching and trying to swat out the fire but failing to keep up as he went insane with the flint &amp; steel he’d obtained from somewhere with childish abandon.</p><p>“What’s he doing?” Ray asked curiously.</p><p>“Setting the building on fire,” I answered casually as Gavin giggled and continued.</p><p>“WHY?” Geoff exploded at him, though I could tell that he was at least a little amused even if mostly frustrated. “What’s the point? How is anyone gonna win now?”</p><p>The timer rang out to unlock floor six, the final floor. This was it – ten more minutes and there would be a winner and I wanted it to be me, dammit.</p><p>“You’ve just gotta win before you burn to death!” Gavin replied cheerfully, watching the fire spread rapidly from wood blocks to carpet.</p><p>“Why did you start it on the <em>fifth floor</em>?” Ryan asked him, his voice raising a few notes as it often did when he was irritated. “Why wouldn’t you start lower down? You’re gonna block the way up to floor six now with this shit!”</p><p>“Don’t be a whiny bitch, Ryan,” Gavin smirked across the room as I watched Ryan pause for a second before removing his headphones. For the benefit of the audience, Geoff began to commentate what subsequently followed as Jack and Ray echoed, ‘<em>ooooooh</em>’ in unison.</p><p>“Ooh, Ryan’s out of his chair. Gavin looks scared,” Geoff announced. “I think he’s going to punch him.”</p><p>“Gavin should be scared,” Michael chuckled, turning in his chair to observe the scene with mild interest.</p><p>“Ryan I didn’t mean it!” Gavin whimpered, going back on his words immediately as Ryan picked up the giant green fish plushie as though he was going to try to smother him with it. Gavin threw his hands up in front of his face for protection.</p><p>“Call me that again, Gavin,” Ryan taunted whilst smirking and holding the fish over him.</p><p>“No, wait, wait. Team Love ‘n’ Stuff? Frenemies?” Gavin asked hopefully, trying to invoke their duo team name and call a truce to save himself.</p><p>“Fine, I won’t hit you,” Ryan gave in after hesitating, dropping the plushie onto the white sofa and returning to his desk.</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, don’t mess with Ryan,” Geoff laughed, watching Gavin look a little relieved that his begging had actually worked. “Ryan the Revenge Guy.”</p><p>“He called me a whiny bitch!” Ryan retaliated, shaking his head.</p><p>The issue was that although this had played out now and Gavin had avoided being hit with a big soft beanbag fish, he was just stupid (or perhaps some would argue brave) enough to poke the bear that had just spared him. It was just in his nature when it came to the relationship he had with Ryan, despite Ryan having backed down already.</p><p>Gavin waited just a few seconds for Ryan to be properly seated back at his desk before he murmured, “You are though.”</p><p>“Gavin, <em>why</em>?” I asked him in an exasperated voice, turning around in my chair to see him grin as Michael, Jack, Geoff and Ray cracked up laughing. I swear that Gavin would escape being in a cage with a tiger only to go, ‘well that was fun’ and get back in to try to do it again, even though he’d just beaten insane odds.</p><p>“Why do you make me hurt you?” Ryan questioned him, sounding genuinely bemused. “I am going to find you in-game and kill you over and over again. Actually y’know what, Gavin? I’m gonna wait by the beds so that every time you spawn, I can kill you again.”</p><p>“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, dude,” Geoff wheezed, clutching his side. “Gavin, you’re screwed.”</p><p>“Ryan’s out for blood now.” Jack found the fire that was spreading up to the sixth floor now. “Uh oh. Lots of fire. Very hot.”</p><p>I was also on floor six, trying not to fall down any holes caused by the flames eating their way through the floor from below as I still attempted to actually play the game and find more apples.</p><p>
  <em>‘GavinoFree was slain by BM Vagabond’.</em>
</p><p>“And so it begins,” Ray laughed, as Gavin screeched.</p><p>“There’s no need, Ryan!” he yelled, re-entering the building where Ryan was literally waiting for him with a sword to slaughter him again.</p><p>“Oh there’s every need,” replied Ryan, darkly as Geoff realised he was unable to stop laughing at the situation.</p><p>
  <em>‘GavinoFree was slain by BM Vagabond’.</em>
</p><p>“Oh God,” Michael sniggered. “He’s not going to stop.”</p><p>
  <em>‘GavinoFree was slain by BM Vagabond’.</em>
</p><p>“RYAN!” Gavin shouted as Ryan laughed somewhat maniacally and Geoff howled, tears in his eyes.</p><p>There could only have been a few minutes left of the game and I had eight golden apples. I had a feeling that Michael or Ray could be close or have more than me, though; Ray hadn’t been killed all game somehow and since Michael had evaded Ryan he probably had more apples than people might think. Ryan actually might have also had a decent amount after killing Geoff, but he was clearly preoccupied.</p><p>
  <em>‘GavinoFree was slain by BM Vagabond’.</em>
</p><p>“I quit,” Gavin pouted, putting his controller down and folding his arms.</p><p>“Alright, alright, I’ll stop,” Ryan promised him. “Look…I won’t kill you anymore. I’m going into the mansion. I’m walking away from you.”</p><p>With an air of insolence, Gavin just scowled at him. “I don’t believe you, Ryan.”</p><p>“Okay, but I’m leaving you alone,” Ryan shrugged, still smiling a little. “Team Love ‘n’ Stuff, right?”</p><p>“Truce, then?”</p><p>“Yeah. Sure,” Ryan smirked, still putting distance between himself and the lad, but not sounding very convincing.</p><p>“I don’t think he meant that,” Jack chuckled.</p><p>“No, I meant it,” Ryan replied, still not sounding sincere.</p><p>“Fine.” Gavin equipped his flint and steel again and started lighting the outside of the house on fire where he could reach.</p><p>“Gavin would you pack it the fuck in?” Geoff groaned, noticing this as he died and spawned at the beds outside once again. “Put the flint and steel <em>down.</em>”</p><p>“Jesus, Gavin, he’s scolding you like you’re a dog,” Michael observed mockingly, as Ray laughed next to him. “Down boy! Drop it!”</p><p>The final end-of-game timer rang out loudly on Geoff’s phone right as I found a tenth apple in a chest, which I was most definitely counting, thank you very much.</p><p>“Okay, everybody stop moving!” Jeremy called out, walking back in to validate how many golden apples everybody had in their inventories as the building comically continued to burn to the ground around us. “Gav with zero, Michael with seven, Ray with eight!” He stepped around the room to physically take counts from our monitor screens. “Jack with four, [Y/N] with <em>ten</em>, Ryan with eight and Geoff with two! [Y/N] wins!”</p><p>We teleported back to downtown Achievement City one-by-one, where I proudly erected the golden tower upon my obsidian block outside my small hut of a house while the guys cheered, but we were interrupted by Burnie Burns knocking on our office door before entering anyway, followed by Joel Heyman. The two of them – along with Matt Hullum, Geoff and Gus – had founded Rooster Teeth as a company together, way back in 2004. While technically the six of us had been hired by Geoff and therefore only technically answered to him, we still respected the other founders as though they were also our bosses in some respects. This sentiment was particularly relevant to Burnie, who was actually also the company’s CEO.</p><p>“Geoff, can we talk to you for a minute?”</p><p>Burnie had the charismatic ability to be entertaining whilst simultaneously serious a lot of the time whilst cracking jokes of the dry-humour variety but it was currently very clear that there was no joking at all in his expression now, his demeanour and tone of voice nothing but urgently business-like. As the two of them left the room with Geoff, we all glanced around at each other, mystified.</p><p>It was a good thing that video editing was a thing, because that was going to have to be cut at the end for sure.</p><p>“Ryan, you would have won that if you hadn’t been so busy being such a silly little minge pocket!” Gavin pointed out with amusement, using his usual patented ridiculous insults.</p><p>“And yet, torturing you is more fun,” Ryan shrugged. “You could have won too if you hadn’t set everything on fucking fire.”</p><p>“Now, now, children,” Jack mediated jokingly with a laugh as Ray removed his headphones and reclined in his desk chair.</p><p>Our office door opened again, with Geoff poking his head around it. He had a strange expression on his face. “Hey…can you come out here too a sec?” He was looking directly at me, which immediately made me wonder if I’d fucked up. Why the hell did Joel and Burnie want to have a conversation with <em>me</em>? I scrambled to think of anything I might have posted on social media or said in a video recently that might be considered inappropriate or demeaning to the company or other employees but came up blank. Trying not to panic, I was very aware of the stares of the other guys as I left the room.</p><p>Nervously, I awkwardly stood beside Geoff as if he was a comfort blanket while Joel and Burnie gazed at me with a strange kindness in their eyes. Okay, maybe I hadn’t done anything wrong per say…I figured they’d be angrier if I had.</p><p>“Come over to my office guys, this shouldn’t be overheard,” Burnie stated, leading us all over in that direction. On the way, Geoff gave me a reassuring smile, which helped a little bit with how I was feeling like I wanted to throw up and run at the same time.</p><p>Once we were all seated, Joel and Burnie continued to gaze at me gently, almost as though they felt sorry for me, which increased my nerves again. What the hell was going on? Was I fired? No. Surely not, Geoff wouldn’t sit by idly and let that happen. What was I even thinking; I hadn’t done anything wrong!</p><p><em>Except for have sex with Geoff and Ryan in and outside of work when I worked for one and with the other, </em>my brain scolded me. That still made no sense, though. They would have asked for Ryan too, right? Unless they only knew about Geoff? My head was spinning.</p><p>“First of all, how are you?”</p><p>That question from Joel surprised me. How was I? I was confused, that’s how I was.</p><p>“Um…I’m okay…why?”</p><p>“Geoff has been updating us on these two death-threat letters you’ve gotten,” Burnie stated bluntly. “We’re worried about how you’re doing.”</p><p>Oh thank god. I finally understood: this was about the <em>hate mail</em>.</p><p>“Oh…” I sounded a little too relieved, so I dialled it back a notch. “I uhm…they freaked me out a lot.”</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I had to mention it to these guys, especially Burnie,” Geoff said reasonably, though his voice was gentle. “The first one was sent to your place of work so it affects everybody here. These two people here, Gus and Matt are the only people that know about the second letter you got at your apartment. I told them you’re staying with me and Gavin until this is over.”</p><p>Now thinking that I was filled in and on the same page as the other three men in the room, I nodded. “We’ve been to the police station about it both times.”</p><p>Burnie nodded approvingly. “Good, yeah, Geoff told me that. There is just one other thing, though...”</p><p>Geoff was regarding me with increasing amounts of sorrow in his eyes now, which shocked me. I had very, very rarely ever seen him get upset and while he wasn’t actually crying, he looked like he might any second which made my chest ache painfully.</p><p>Joel took over, pulling his phone out of his jeans’ pocket and pushing it across the desk at me. “A female employee came to me today after taking this picture from the ladies’ toilets in the building.”</p><p>Frowning, I leaned over to see the photo on the iPhone’s screen, blinking several times as I absorbed what it said. It was handwritten on the wall of a toilet stall in what looked like black marker pen. The style was undeniably the same that had featured on both letters, with my full name – first and last –  underlined across the top to make no mistake as to who this new message was aimed at. Underneath were the words:</p><p>
  <em>‘You can’t hide, whore. If I can’t have him, you fucking can’t either.’</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Versus again! Also, it’s Gavin’s date night!]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Warning: Descriptive, serious injury to main character</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“We’ve already spoken to security,” Burnie assured me, his gaze focused on me as he gauged my reaction. “Somehow, this person got in and out of the building without us knowing. I’m pretty confident that it isn’t an employee here, unless you have reason to think otherwise?”</p><p>I shook my head numbly, unable to think of anyone that worked for Rooster Teeth that even knew me remotely well enough to hate me to this degree.</p><p>“Then we have to assume they’ve somehow gotten hold of a key pass that they definitely shouldn’t have,” Joel continued. “On that note, we’ve decided to have everybody checked for ID at the door upon entry. You know we require every member of staff here to have their pass key card with them at work, but now we’re introducing a new company policy: nobody is to put their pass cards <em>down</em> at any point. You can hide it with clothing but it must stay on you, either clipped to your belt, your clothes or on a lanyard. Whichever is most convenient for whatever it is you’re doing.”</p><p>“We’re also sending out a company-wide email about all of this,” Burnie leaned back in his chair. “Just so that everyone is aware that this is a very real situation and it’s being handled properly. The video editors are also going to have to be more careful about blurring out pass card information when it inevitably gets caught on videos.”</p><p>I nodded, still unable to say anything. This was all happening because of me and I felt powerless to help.</p><p>“Our hopes from doing all of this is that it will prevent anyone who absolutely shouldn’t be from getting into the building, because at the moment I think they’ve either stolen a pass key card or they’re using an old one that an employee thinks they lost and had replaced. That won’t fly now when security check them upon entry.” Burnie concluded.</p><p>“Keep us updated on what the police tell you,” Joel told Geoff and I. “Burnie and I talked about what to do about the fact that we know that there is a danger to your safety and while we obviously can’t order you around outside of work, I want you to maybe have an action plan in place. You’re already staying somewhere that this person hopefully don’t know about-“ he gestured in Geoff’s direction, “-but when you’re on your way to and from work, or when you spend your free time somewhere, please consider not being alone. Even if it’s family, friends, a public place, whatever.”</p><p>Again, I nodded and just looked between Joel and Burnie, having no idea what to say.</p><p>“Does the email detail who all of this is aimed at?” Geoff asked, his voice oddly gravelly.</p><p>“No. And the cubicle writing has already been painted over,” Burnie replied firmly, adjusting his thick-framed black glasses. “I can’t control who saw it in the meantime before we got wind of it, but the majority of people aren’t going to have seen it. I don’t think it’s necessary to announce why this is all taking place.”</p><p>“Thanks.” My voice was small and more whispery than I’d intended.</p><p>As we left, Geoff cleared his throat a little. “Are you okay with telling the main guys in the office so we can look out for you?”</p><p>I contemplated this for a moment but ultimately, yes, I was. I’d said it before and I’d say it a thousand times: they were my extended family.</p><p>Back at the office nobody had really moved, all of them waiting for us to come back to film our next few recordings for the day. They were however in a deep discussion about magnets, for some odd reason, though this seized when they saw us.</p><p>“Aaayyyyyy!” they called out when we reappeared.</p><p>“Did you get fired or something?” Michael joked, spotting my serious face immediately as Geoff made sure the side office door was definitely closed and attended to his computer before turning and looking at the five of them in turn briefly.</p><p>“I want each and every one of you to make absolute sure that nothing is recording right now. There’s a really serious conversation that we need to have.”</p><p>The humour fell from their faces as they quietly clicked around to ensure that nothing was going on record via their microphones. Very rarely was the atmosphere in this office this serious, but as I explained everything that had happened with all three notes and their details, most of them were looking horrified by the end as they hung on to every word. I ended with the specifics of the chat I’d just had with Geoff, Burnie and Joel.</p><p>“You’re all going to get an email shortly, along with everyone else in the company, involving tighter security,” Geoff finished for me, as five sets of eyes stared at me with sympathy.</p><p>“I had no idea,” Gavin gawped at me. “I thought you were just staying over because…you do that sometimes when we all hang out.”</p><p>“Nope. I literally shouldn’t be going back to my flat alone right now,” I replied heavily, sighing.</p><p>Beside me, Ryan’s eyes were dark as he frowned at the floor, seemingly deep in irritable thought.</p><p>“Okay, well we can all chaperone you, right?” Jack suggested. “You don’t need it in the building but…maybe just to be safe we should anyway…”</p><p>I smiled at his sweetness. “Thanks, dude.”</p><p>“Who d’you think it is?” Michael asked the million-dollar question that I’d asked myself a thousand times over already. “I know you don’t know, but…you must have some rough idea? It can’t just be a jealous fan, right?”</p><p>“Why d’you say that?” I asked, frowning at him. It was still possible for someone to somehow get hold of my address and finding the Rooster Teeth studios was easy if you knew how to use Google.</p><p>“It seems a little personal,” Michael muttered. “I mean, ‘<em>if I can’t have him, you fucking can’t either’</em>? Sounds more like a jealous ex or something.”</p><p>Huh. It did, now he mentioned it. I glanced sideways at Ryan and Geoff, but Geoff looked back at me blankly with a small shrug and Ryan was still staring at the grey carpet. Ryan had only had one serious relationship with one woman off and on before me, and that had been Laurie, his now ex-wife and mother of his two children. Trust me when I say that I was one hundred percent sure that it wasn’t her doing any of this; she didn’t have a bad bone in her body. Geoff had been with a couple of women before Griffon – who I also didn’t accuse for a second – but it was so long ago that none of them would even know who I was. Even disregarding all of that, nobody but Gavin even knew about our relationship and even then he only know the Geoff side.</p><p>“Maybe it doesn’t mean in the relationship sense,” Jack offered. “Maybe it’s jealousy over merely spending a lot of time with someone. You’re single, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah.” For all intents and purposes, anyway.</p><p>“Hey that’s true, maybe someone’s just jealous that you’re spending so much time with one of us because we’re all so hot and awesome,” Ray joked, lightening the mood a little.</p><p>“I dunno, it’s a pretty possessive attitude for that,” Michael replied thoughtfully. “It’s all just so <em>weird</em>. Who does this person think you’re even with that they want?”</p><p>My eyes met with Gavin’s across the room, but he loyally kept his mouth shut which I was grateful for. Though on second thought, maybe it was more fear of what Geoff would do to him rather than caring how I felt.</p><p>“Do you even feel up to recording today now?” Ryan asked me, speaking for the first time since I’d re-entered the office as he looked directly at me.</p><p>I wanted nothing more at that moment to just fall into his arms and have him hold me close like he had during ‘AHWU’, but sadly that was definitely going to have to wait since we were in a room full of people. Realising I was taking too long to reply due to gazing at him, I deliberately looked away and shuffled in my chair, trying not to be further distracted by how pretty he was.</p><p>“I’m okay. Plus, it’s Versus and it’s me defending the belt against Geoff, so I can’t exactly sit it out.”</p><p>“That might be a good thing though,” Gavin piped up. “We can cheer you up!”</p><p>“That’s a good idea,” Michael grinned. “Geoff, try not to kick her ass.”</p><p>“No promises,” he smiled at me with a cheeky wink. He wasn’t okay, but he was covering it up well.</p><p>With Lindsay busy, it was just the seven of us as we gathered around Ryan’s ex-desk (aka a white, square pop-up table) where Ray and Jack set up the game we were going to play – Jenga. The game had been played a couple of times with various themes during Versus before, but since I’d never played it in the office and it seemed to be one of the fan-faves, Geoff had chosen it to challenge me, as the current champion.</p><p>From the side office, Trevor and Kdin joined us to film as they hovered with their phones set to landscape.</p><p>For me, Jenga was not an easy game. I didn’t have any kind of medical condition, but I did not have a steady hand in the slightest, which was going to severely disadvantage me here and I wondered wryly if that was why Geoff had chosen it. The first few pieces were easy; middle pieces that were loose and easy to slide right out, a couple of rows down from the top. Then it got more difficult as Geoff plucked the first side-piece from a little above halfway up. From there on it was a nightmare of me thinking that every turn, I was going to topple the tower, which for the benefit of the cameras I said aloud.</p><p>Geoff was fairly smug about it, though he wasn’t quite as skilled as Jack. At several pieces removed, Michael took a sharp inhale of breath and Ray went very still as they all watched with tension building as to who was going to be the loser. I was thankful that none of them had decided to be the asshole to make one of us jump and throw us off whilst it was our turn, though I had a feeling that had the cameras been off they would have absolutely done that.</p><p>With extreme caution and after flexing my hand a little to try to stop it from trembling, I poked a side-piece out, trying to flick it like Jack regularly did when he played: quick and painless and then pray that it didn’t all come crashing down. To my relief I succeeded, placing the piece delicately on top and grinning as Geoff raised his eyebrows, his expression betraying his disappointment that my turn hadn’t unbalanced the stack.</p><p>“Nice!” Michael commented.</p><p>Geoff examined the tower from different angles, trying to see any weak spots. He tested a few gently, but they all seemed to be central to keeping the tower up. Bravely, he took one from higher up that very nearly sent it over, but somehow didn’t.</p><p>“What the hell?” I groaned, watching the stack wobble unsteadily.</p><p>“Ouch, he just set you up to fail,” Jack remarked.</p><p>“Nah,” I replied casually, softly tapping a couple of suspect pieces that I might be able to remove without losing the game. Just within my eyeline, Gavin fidgeted in his chair as he watched on, unable to sit still in such a tense situation. I knocked out yet another piece from the other side, somewhat balancing out the precarious tower.</p><p>“How is it still standing?” Ryan asked, sounding a little baffled.</p><p>It wasn’t for long. Geoff’s next move completely destabilised the tower and sent Jenga pieces cascading everywhere with a loud crash.</p><p>I threw my hands up in celebration to the sounds of cheering, except for Geoff who cursed disappointedly before reluctantly offering me a handshake as a competitor. With a giggle, I accepted and gleefully informed the camera that I was keeping the belts and rooster trophy for the second week on the trot.</p><p>“Alright, next week is gonna be [Y/N] versus Michael!” Jack announced, for the sake of the audience before we stopped the recording.</p><p>“I really thought I had you,” Geoff shook his head at me. “Fuckin’ witchcraft.”</p><p>“It is Halloween soon!” I grinned back at him. “Maybe I’ve developed some magical powers or something from eating candy corn.”</p><p>“You have been winning stuff a lot lately,” Ryan stated, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe she’s cursed us all or something.”</p><p>“Oh I totally have,” I played along. “You’d better all hope you don’t piss me off.”</p><p>Trevor, who had been silently observing the game whilst recording, now felt able to join in the discussion. “What you guys don’t know is that we’re in a cult together.”</p><p>As we cleared up the Jenga pieces and chucked them back into the box, folded the white table away and had all sat back down at our respective desks, I couldn’t help but notice how much more upset Geoff was by what was happening to me than I was. Sure, it hurt, but it was also as confusing as it was hateful and I knew that the guys meant it when they said I was safe with at least one of them, going forward. What with the new building security measures and the promise of having a place to stay with either Geoff or Ryan, I was strangely feeling a lot better about the whole thing. This was just a hazard we had to navigate through while the police did their jobs - then it would all go away.</p><p>***</p><p>Gavin looked adorable in his blue and white checked shirt as he nervously paced the living room that evening. His big date with Meg was looming presently and he couldn’t decide whether to get to the bar early or not.</p><p>“You should get there a little before her,” Geoff told him confidently. “Don’t leave her waiting by herself, that’s kinda rude.”</p><p>“Right,” Gavin seemed to agree. “Okay, I’m calling an Uber.”</p><p>I smiled at him encouragingly. “You’re gonna knock her dead, Handsome.”</p><p>“You don’t want me to drive you?” Geoff offered as he rifled through his shelves of Blu-Ray movies near the television.</p><p>Gavin paused, looking between us both before saying something that caused us to nearly keel over laughing. “I’m getting a kind of Mum-and-Dad vibe from you two right now, it’s weird, stop it.”</p><p>“You’re older than me!” I pointed out with a grin after recovering from laughing while Geoff continued.</p><p>“It’s not the age, it’s the attitude!” Gavin smirked. “I’m <em>definitely</em> getting an Uber. Geoff dropping me off on my first date with Meg is too Dad-ish.”</p><p>“I guess it is,” Geoff chuckled. “Have fun. Don’t get her too drunk.”</p><p>It wasn’t long before Geoff and I were alone, feet up on the coffee table as we lounged on the sofa with drinks of the non-alcoholic kind (due to it not being drink-night Thursday for him), Chinese food and a Marvel movie. For a while we said nothing, merely munching on dumplings, rice and Kung Pao chicken with our eyes on the TV, but then we began to discuss the plot points and links to other movies. We had both seen ‘Captain America: Winter Soldier’ before but as it had only recently come out on Blu-Ray &amp; DVD, we had settled on it for tonight as the perfect talking point and dinner companion.</p><p>After the movie ended and with empty food containers abandoned on the kitchen counters and feeling pretty sleepy at the late hour, we fell into bed with no real intent to do anything raunchy after the threesome incident in the closet earlier today, our exhausted bodies simply seeking comfort and rest. I curled up into Geoff’s arms, my previous nightmares forgotten about because I was so content at that moment.</p><p>For once, I fell fairly quickly to sleep and dreamt of abstract situations at work, featuring trying to edit far too many videos at once on multiple computers while my sister was getting married in the office, a wedding arch having been set up in the centre of the room covered with flowers. Confetti landing on my keyboard and deadlines were the worst of my problems as I snoozed, totally unaware of anything outside of my dreamland.</p><p>Raised voices pulled me from my slumber, echoing a little distantly and becoming gradually louder as I stirred, confused. By the same token, Geoff had also groaned a little and rolled over as we both assumed it was Gavin and Meg being inconsiderate for the time of night that it was, after coming home together from the bar. The drunkenness would explain the noise, at least.</p><p>“Keep walking!”</p><p>That didn’t sound like Meg.</p><p>“You don’t have to do this, please!”</p><p>Gavin’s voice contained pleading.</p><p>The bedroom door opened and the light was flicked on abruptly, flooding the room with light as Geoff and I sat up, squinting in shock and confusion as we processed what the hell was going on.</p><p>“I knew you were here,” she said venomously to me, still with a shiny black pistol pointing at the back of Gavin’s head. “I told you that you <em>can’t have him</em>!”</p><p>Ellie. She was threatening to shoot Gavin. She could even shoot me. Geoff had climbed out of bed to physically stop her but she then turned the gun on him as Gavin backed away from her and into the bedroom, tears sliding down his cheeks and his wet green eyes full of apology. My heart stopped.</p><p>“I’m not with Gavin!” I gasped out the words, feeling dizzy as I watched Geoff slowly raise his hands. “You’ve got completely the wrong idea!”</p><p>It had been her. All along, it had been <em>her. </em>Why hadn’t I seen it? We’d always known that she’d been a manipulative bitch, but this was taking things to a whole new level.</p><p>“I don’t believe you,” she spat in response, staring at me like she was wishing I would drop dead of my own accord.</p><p>“I’m not in Gavin’s bed, am I? I’m in here! Why would I be in Geoff’s bed if I was in a relationship with Gavin?” I tried to reason with her, vulnerably aware that I was standing in a tank top and panties at that moment.</p><p>“She’s telling the truth, she’s with me,” Geoff added, carefully. “Why don’t you put down the gun?”</p><p>“Shut the hell up! The fact she’s fucking you doesn’t mean she hasn’t fucked Gavin too.” Her eyes were wildly possessive, her mouth curled into a snarl. She had gone totally insane. “You’re with him all the time. You work with him! Then I watched you start <em>going home</em> with him! That was when I fucking knew I had to make it clear that you <em>can’t have him</em>!”</p><p>In a small voice through his tears of shock, Gavin tried to reason with her too. “But you cheated on me. You left me. It broke my heart.”</p><p>“We’ve broken up before. I didn’t mean it, Gav.” Her voice had changed suddenly, to a more syrupy tone. “It’ll always be you. I love you, remember?”</p><p>“Don’t talk shit, Ellie!” Geoff growled, despite her still having the gun trained on him. “You don’t love him, you love to <em>control</em> him!”</p><p>She shook her head, glancing back at the older man, perfectly displaying how dangerously volatile she was currently as her tone switched straight back to accusing and angry. “You aren’t involved in this, you don’t need to get hurt.”</p><p>“You’re right, he’s not,” I spoke up, desperate for her to stop pointing the fucking gun at him as Geoff glanced at me in fear. This was a mistake though, because she seemed to agree with me and instead, as  if in slow motion, moved her aim to me. I tensed.</p><p>Before I could say anything more, Gavin had choked back an angry noise of displeasure. “I don’t know how I loved you. You’re mental.”</p><p>In her mind, Ellie had convinced herself that I had taken Gavin away from her and while she was in this mindset of lunacy with intent to harm, there was no persuading her otherwise. She was also visibly losing her patience; her finger came to rest on the trigger of the pistol as I stared down the barrel of the gun from a mere couple of metres away with absolute terror flooding me.</p><p>“Don’t do this,” Geoff said quietly to her, his arms still raised as he stood stock-still. “We’re not going to hurt you, just don’t shoot. Put the gun down on the floor. We’ll talk.”</p><p>There was a moment in which I thought that his words might have worked, that she might give in and realise how stupid and crazy she was being, but I’d been wrong. A second later - a flash of the gun. My ears were ringing suddenly as I watched Gavin dive for Ellie to wrestle the gun from her in her moment of apparent distraction and Geoff stumbled towards me to clutch me as I dropped.</p><p>He was covered in blood and I was confused, a searing sensation burning just below my chest as I stared into his tearful blue eyes, wondering where all of his blood was coming from that was covering his bare chest and abdomen and, as he pressed hard on my chest, his hand too. He was talking to me, but it was as though the words weren’t quite reaching my brain as I merely watched his lips move before my eyeline slipped sideways across the room to where Gavin was on his phone now, having pinned down Ellie with his body weight. The gun lay on the floor near to my foot as Gavin glanced repeatedly at me with pure panic on his face.</p><p>I tried to explain that it was Geoff that was hurt, he was the one that was bleeding, but my words were lost before they left my mouth. As I looked down at my own chest from my position of half-laying on the floor in his arms I realised that it was <em>my</em> blood that had soaked through my tank top and was now leaking down my side to the floor, despite Geoff’s best efforts of applying pressure. Gavin, still on top of Ellie and still on his cell, ripped his checked shirt off and threw it over to Geoff, who pressed it firmly against my wound where it very quickly became stained in red too.</p><p>Again, I tried to communicate that was one of Gavin’s favourite shirts, but my words were only coming out in a quiet mumble as I read Geoff’s lips telling me ‘don’t talk’ and ‘it’s okay’, his now reddened eyes still leaking tears as he looked across at Gavin to speak to him. Their voices were beginning to come more into focus, but I still couldn’t figure out what they were saying as the ringing persisted.</p><p>I was so tired, my energy evaporating as I closed my eyes, drained. My chest still burned but it wasn’t so bad. It was bad that I was bleeding. It was bad that Ellie was here. My thoughts were sluggish.</p><p>My body was being lifted and moved; my eyes fluttered open briefly and I was surrounded by people in a bright room. It hurt a lot more now but I didn’t have the strength to writhe in an attempt to alleviate the pain. I wanted someone familiar but everyone around me was dressed in surgical blue gowns with masks on their faces and I didn’t know any of them.</p><p>A clear mask attached to a tube was placed over my mouth and nose and then I knew nothing but darkness.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You are recovering from being shot.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A lot of research went into this part. Hopefully I’ve written realistically.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>Hospital. </em>
</p><p>I had to keep reminding myself where I was because I’d lost all sense of time. Nothing hurt, which was odd because I was sure I’d gotten injured, but I was still so sleepy. I felt a hand on mine, along with Ryan’s gentle, low voice telling me that he was here and that he loved me. I vaguely registered that it was the first time he’d ever said that to me and my lips formed a tired smile as I opened my eyes to see him sitting by my bedside, looking sleep-deprived. I wanted to say ‘I love you too’, but became aware that my mouth was so dry that all I did was croak a little.</p><p>“I know,” he told me, squeezing my hand. “I know.”</p><p>Hours melted into days and days into weeks as the hospital buzzed around me, but for so much of it I was asleep. In the hours I was awake, I was fed by the nursing staff who would tilt my mattress up with the push of a button and were seemingly encouraged by my appetite as they gauged my mental state. I was taken for numerous tests to check on my other organs, including a brain scan. Apparently for a time directly after the incident, I’d been on assisted breathing with a tube down my throat whilst in ICU, but as I’d been unconscious the large majority of this I didn’t recall experiencing any of it.</p><p>Being sedated so much of the time was like living in a dream; every time I woke up I struggled to remember where I was again, what had happened to me and why I was hooked up to multiple tubes and drips. More than once I had seriously wondered, through the haze of painkillers and sedatives, if I might actually be dead.</p><p>I saw my mother at one point, who had flown in from out-of-state to visit and was apparently staying in a hotel for a few days. My sister, who had also flown across Texas to see me, coordinated it so that the pair of them could visit together. I was really thankful for their presence as they told me about life and various non-important things in their awkward attempt to avoid the elephant in the room. In some ways though, it was comforting just to hear my mom talk about her issues at work followed by her Home Owner’s Association’s change on her lawn rules while my sister babbled about her 2015 wedding plans and how I was obviously her bridesmaid, which I had already known, along with her dinner plans for the next week.</p><p>My sleep was always dreamless, unless my brain was just deliberately blotting the dreams out. Waking up and becoming aware of the multiple tubes leading out of me in the doctor’s attempts at keeping me in recovery, I noticed that someone was holding hand again. I was aware somehow that it was a totally different day, but my confused brain still couldn’t quite piece together how long I’d been here or what time it was.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Gavin. It was Gav! I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me intently as he sat to my left.</p><p>“This is all my fault.”</p><p>I fought to speak, to correct him. It wasn’t his fault that his ex-girlfriend was a psycho. The image of my blood pouring from my abdomen as Geoff pressed Gavin’s shirt to my chest flashed through my mind again. My voice was croaky but after my third attempt, I managed to get out a singular word and tried to give it all of the meaning I could:</p><p>“<em>No.</em>”</p><p>“Geoff feels responsible and so do I,” Gavin went on, making me realise I probably might as well have saved my breath. “We both put you in danger, she knew exactly where to find you. We thought you were gonna die.” He withdrew his hand into a clench of his fist. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Ugh, I didn’t want this. It wasn’t their damn fault.</p><p>“<em>Work?</em>” I rasped questioningly, hoping that they had continued in my absence in order to support each other.</p><p>“We…stopped for a week to take a break. But we’ve started again without you now and it’s weird. Nobody is the same. The fans know, we had to tell them…not the details, but that you’ve been seriously injured and you’re in hospital.” Gavin pointed over at the wall on my other side, where dozens upon dozens of cards were propped up, all with ‘get well soon’ sorts of messages on them. “Everyone’s been popping in but you’ve been asleep a lot. You’ve got a <em>lot </em>of gifts and cards from ‘AHWU’ hoping you’ll recover okay.”</p><p>Clearing my throat, I asked for water, to which he responded by picking up the bottle on my bedstand and inserting the straw before offering it to my lips. I drank gratefully but carefully, not wanting to choke on too much of it.</p><p>“Gav?”</p><p>“Yeah?” His eyes met mine, but they were filled with a horrible guilt that I wished I could erase.</p><p>“How is Geoff?”</p><p>Gavin hesitated very obviously. “He’s…okay.”</p><p>Not convincing me in the slightest, I tried again.</p><p>“Truth, Gav.”</p><p>Apologetically, he sighed. “He’s been drinking a lot more than usual.”</p><p>There it was. I closed my eyes in frustration, wanting everything to be okay again. In fact, it would be lovely if I could go back in time to that night and make it so that this never happened. Or hey, make it so that Gavin had never met Ellie in the first fucking place.</p><p>Michael and Lindsay visited me days later, now that I was being encouraged to do physical therapy to prevent any blood clots forming and further help with my recovery. Legs shaking like a baby deer taking its first steps but with the help from them and a walking frame, I struggled to walk a few paces without collapsing in agony to begin with, their emotional support and my gritting my teeth the only things to keep me going.</p><p>When I’d asked nurses and doctors for details of the extent of my injuries, I’d been told that the bullet had penetrated my abdomen just below my ribs, piercing my spleen, but that the surgeons had managed to stop the bleeding and repair the laceration caused by the shot. Because I was young and relatively fit, I would definitely recover faster and in the initial stages of nobody being sure if I was even going to make it, I had had much better odds than someone older and arguably less fit than me.</p><p>Someone like Geoff.</p><p>I still had to snap myself out of thinking about the fact that she could have shot him. He may not have survived, with his past substance abuse and being nearly forty, which wasn’t old but it was nearly twice my age. The thought made me tense up with anger which immediately hurt as my now-closed and bandaged wound ached horribly in response.</p><p>“You’ve gotta walk back to your bed,” Jack told me in the second week, taking my arm gently. “I’ll help you.”</p><p>With genuine effort and by leaning on him a lot, I rose out of my chair across the room from my bed and paused as I suddenly felt dizzy from the dull ache of pain to my upper-left abdomen. Jack paused, used to this reaction from me by now as I regained my breath and got through it. He patiently supported me until I was ready to take very small steps over to my bed whilst gripping him like a lifeline.</p><p>Days on from then and I was able to walk unassisted and further, though it still ached a little. I’d taken to walking up and down the outside corridor of my room for a few minutes a day as advised by the nurses, who were also very smiley and encouraging. Ray had visited with Tina, both of whom had brought me ‘proper’ food which I massively appreciated as I tucked into it. French fries and hotdog had never tasted so damned good and as we chatted about the state of the office and outside life, I was made aware that the guys had been posting on social media about my recovery a little following their visits with me.</p><p>“Hey, do me a favour,” I said to Tina as she glanced over at me while Ray looked up from his phone. “Take an ‘in recovery’ picture of me.”</p><p>Slowly, I slid out of the bed and felt the cold lino floor beneath my bare feet, balancing faster than before and standing up straight with my thumbs up in front of me, a smile on my face as Ray snapped a picture and promised to upload it to his Twitter.</p><p>“You look so much better already,” Tina commented as she grinned at his phone screen over his shoulder, watching him type out the caption and add tags. “The fans are going to be so glad you’re okay.”</p><p>The following day, Ryan had come back. I was glad that I was now awake for most of the day on a more normal basis, able to actually have a conversation with him. Ellie had, of course, been arrested at the scene of the shooting and charged for her crimes, whilst also having had the hate mail attributed to her with overwhelming evidence. A sample of her handwriting taken from various documents and old college papers had neatly matched up to the messages, including the photographed one of the bathroom stall, completely damning her. She had not been smart but love could blind you to do stupid things, I supposed. Even crazy, obsessive, psycho love.</p><p>As I bit into the soft, dinner-plate sized chocolate chip cookie that Ryan had brought me, I watched him as he talked animatedly about a new game release, ‘The Evil Within’, that he’d been playing with Jack and Michael. It struck me as really weird to me that I’d actually been both unconscious and just generally in hospital for so long that I was actually missing game releases, considering that playing video games for our audience was literally our jobs. It wasn’t likely that I would have joined them anyway on this particular title though, what with it being a survival horror game.</p><p>“Am I talking too much?” Ryan asked suddenly, still smiling from recounting his play session.</p><p>“No Ry, it’s fine,” I smiled back, eating more cookie. “I’ve missed you, that’s all.”</p><p>“We’ve all missed you too,” he replied.</p><p>I hesitated whilst chewing, wondering whether to bring up the subject of Geoff. “How has everyone…been?”</p><p>“Getting by,” he answered me honestly. “Now that we know you’re gonna be okay, much better actually. Mostly.”</p><p>If it hadn’t been for that last word he’d added on to the end of his sentence, I would have rested easy. But that last word ‘mostly’ was there, implying that someone wasn’t doing ‘much better’ and I had a feeling that it was the same person hadn’t visited me once that I’d been aware of the whole time I’d been here, which was apparently a couple of weeks at this point.</p><p>“Please tell me you’ve been checking on him, you guys,” I said quietly. “I know he’s drinking heavily again.”</p><p>Ryan gave me a small smile, knowing exactly who I was talking about. “He’s okay. Yeah, he’s definitely drinking more heavily, but he knows you’re gonna be alright. He’s happy about that.”</p><p>“But he blames himself.”</p><p>“He does.”</p><p>“And he hasn’t been to visit…” I didn’t mean to sound quite so hurt about it, but truthfully I was a little confused. As protective as Geoff was and as much as he cared about me, I wondered why he wouldn’t come to see me when I needed him most.</p><p>Ryan avoided my eyes, looking down at his lap as he fiddled with his empty can of Diet Coke. “He did go with you to the hospital and stayed until you were out of the operating theatre right after it happened.”</p><p>“But he hasn’t been back?” I asked sadly.</p><p>The shake of his head was all I needed for confirmation.</p><p>At the end of the third week, I was released from hospital with instructions to take short walks two to three times a day and to be careful in the shower when washing around my still-healing wound. It was nearly the end of October now with Halloween literally being at the end of the following week and now that I was perfectly safe in my own flat again, I was lazing around and reading through comments on my Twitter posts I’d made during the more recent parts of my stay in hospital.</p><p>There really were so many nice fans out there, so many genuinely caring people that were wishing me well and hoping I’d be back in videos soon. The cards and gifts I’d been sent were literally everywhere; they covered my apartment shelves and a lot of the floor space around the living-room area. I’d nearly cried upon seeing it all because Lindsay had asked for my flat keys in order to drop everything off for when I got home via a ride from Jack and it had been insanely overwhelming to walk back into nothing but good feelings and well-wishes.</p><p>My phone buzzed as I paused Netflix to check it.</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you.’</em>
</p><p>Geoff. I wanted to ask him why, to ask him if he could come over now. I resisted and texted him back that I missed him.</p><p>
  <em>‘I miss you too.’ </em>
</p><p>I would be back at work in a few days’ time since my job was primarily sitting at a desk and I was mostly recovered now with just some care needing to be taken about exertion relating to exercise. I guess I'd see him then.</p><p>I was barely left alone all weekend, which to be honest was welcome. If my phone wasn’t buzzing from social media (which I’d had to silence in notifications because it really was non-stop), it was buzzing from texts and calls as people checked up on me and offered to bring stuff over for me like groceries and snacks and even copies of new games I’d been missing out on. It was pretty funny watching Ryan, Jack, Michael, Lindsay, Gavin and Ray all cram into my tiny apartment and scatter around, sitting on cushions, pillows and my sofa as we all played some Xbox and shared around junk food that we’d ordered in.</p><p>And then, out of the blue, Geoff turned up. He didn’t seem overly drunk, but he had definitely been drinking and as Gavin’s mouth opened in surprise at his appearance and everyone else greeted him merrily, I flew into his arms as though I hadn’t seen him in three <em>years, </em>not weeks. His hair was a little messy in an adorable kind of way and his beard had grown a little, but other than looking more tired than usual he was the same Geoff.</p><p>He hesitated before returning the hug and I noticed that he whispered, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault, none of it was your fault,” I babbled sincerely, finally getting the chance to tactfully tell him to stop being an idiot. “You were trying to protect me, I don’t blame you! Please stop blaming yourself.”</p><p>Geoff held me tighter and closer and for a moment, I completely forget that the room was full of people behind me. So did he apparently, because I felt him breathe in the smell of my hair as he embraced me and say near my ear, “I’m really glad you’re okay. I’ve been so selfish. I couldn’t bear seeing you like that.”</p><p>There was a pause and Michael cleared his throat, making the two of us jump a little and snap back to reality as we let go of one another. I turned to see all six of them staring at us and sheepishly shrugged.</p><p>“I missed him?” I offered.</p><p>“I think you both missed each other,” Michael said in a slightly snidey voice as Ray raised his eyebrows in bemused agreement.</p><p>“Shh, Michael,” Lindsay said, lightly smacking his arm. “He’s been beating himself up about it. Let them hug it out.”</p><p>“That looked like a little more than a friendly hug,” Jack remarked, as I shot him a warning look to shut up.</p><p>“Yeah well, watch her get shot and then <em>you</em> get to decide how you hug her,” Geoff snapped at them as he helped himself to the leftovers on the counter, his expression entirely neutral.</p><p>None of them said another word about it, awkwardly changing the subject. Ryan raised an eyebrow but Geoff ignored him, staring at the opposite wall as he took a bite of pizza.</p><p>That evening, both Geoff and Ryan stayed with me, the three of us only just squeezing onto my bed. It suited me fine because after being in a narrow hospital bed alone for so long, it had been great last night to fall into my own big double bed again and spread out. Tonight though, I was appreciating being in my bed <em>and</em> the company I had simultaneously, the both of them having draped an arm over me as they slept.</p><p>I had been asleep for some of the night but I’d woken up in the darkness because I’d subconsciously rolled over onto my left side, causing it to twang with pain and forcing me back onto my back again in sleepy remembrance of my healing surgery. Oops.</p><p>Falling back to sleep, I dreamt of repainting my apartment walls in blue for some reason, but every time I dipped the brush into the bucket and brought it up to the wall, it was instead coated in my dark red blood.</p><p>***</p><p>Ahhh office, how I’d missed thee. As I approached the white door, I realised that it was oddly quiet inside, which was a little ominous seeing as how I was supposed to be the last one in there due to needing the toilet before we started the day. Monday morning had rolled around and I was eager to get back to work and start making content again, having severely missed it.</p><p>I pushed on the door, with it taking me a second to catch up mentally as I stared into the room where Jack, Ray, Michael, Lindsay, Gavin, Ryan, Geoff, Trevor, Matt, Jeremy, Steffie, Kdin, Caleb and Kerry were gathering around a huge, square white cake in the centre of the room with the words ‘Welcome Back!’ written across it neatly in green and black icing, along with a star where someone had successfully and impressively drawn our Achievement Hunter logo.</p><p>Gavin and Ryan, I noticed, were holding long, thick colourful tubes that I recognised to be confetti cannons which they promptly fired up over our heads as I beamed in pleasant surprise at everyone’s kindness.</p><p>“She’s BACK!” Michael yelled as Lindsay shouted ‘WOOO’ in the background.</p><p>The first hour back wasn’t what I’d thought; instead of recording and getting back to work straight away, we sat around talking, joking and stuffing our faces with cake with the members of B-Team finding spaces to sit in our main office as we had somewhat of a mini party in my honour. I was happier than I’d been in weeks by a million miles – I’d missed this atmosphere and the way that random conversations would break out about ridiculous things.</p><p>Most importantly to me was seeing them all smile and laugh naturally instead of looking at me with cautious regard as though I might drop dead at any moment. In this precise moment, everybody was genuinely elated by my return instead of feeling guilty or worried and it was having the effect of making me feel absolutely euphoric.</p><p>Our office door opened as Barbara entered, followed by Jon, Meg, Ashley Jenkins and Burnie.</p><p>“We heard there was cake!” Ashley beamed. “It’s good to see you’re alright.” Whilst being Burnie’s girlfriend, she had founded Rooster Teeth’s news show named, ‘The Know’, which she hosted alongside Meg. I’d only met her a number of times, but she’d always seemed really nice.</p><p>Meg hugged me tight, which surprised me, but then she had always been pretty confidently friendly. Burnie joked about showing everyone my scar, to which I obligingly lifted my shirt just enough to reveal the pretty ugly, sewn-up wound which looked more like a nasty red line at this point.</p><p>“Does this mean you’re cool now?” Ray joked in his usual dry way. “Gunshot survivor and all.”</p><p>“I hope it does, I didn’t go through all of that for nothing,” I laughed as Jon grinned at me whilst slicing himself some cake.</p><p>“I think you can have cool points for that,” Michael agreed with a smirk, picking confetti out of his hair as Ryan nodded a little in agreement, chewing.</p><p>“This is great cake,” Geoff stated, which was unusual because he really didn’t have much of a sweet tooth. As such, he’d only cut himself a tiny piece, but as he licked his fingers clean he glanced at me with a warm genuine smile, which made my heart swell.  He didn’t look haunted, he didn’t look guilty, he looked <em>okay.</em> Sure, there was an open bottle of ‘Jameson’s Whiskey’ and a mug on his desk, but I couldn’t have everything.</p><p>Even Gavin, who had merely been cautiously optimistic up until now, seemed to have perked back up to his original self as he threw the giant fish plushie across the room at Ryan with a yell of ‘FIIIISH!’, where the older man caught it one-handed and smirked back at him with a raised eyebrow before lobbing it back with more force, knocking over Gavin’s computer monitor.</p><p>I discovered that it had been Steffie who had found the toilet stall message and had promptly reported it to Joel as she explained that she’d been shocked to see my name scrawled there followed by such horrible words. She then added that she’d honestly seen nothing but positive comments on our social media channels while Trevor nodded in agreement at her words, his dark brown eyes full of humour as he then proceeded to make fun of the fact that I was still wearing my hospital bracelet that I’d forgotten to remove all weekend.</p><p>“Oh, I left it on to remind myself of who I am in case I forget,” I giggled as Jeremy laughed too, asking why being shot in the abdomen would have anything to do with my brain. I shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you, I’m not a doctor.”</p><p>“It’s cute, like an idiot bracelet,” Barbara chuckled, holding my wrist up by looping her finger through the laminated paper bangle. “I could do with one of these for nights out!”</p><p>“Couldn’t we all,” Burnie pursed his lips in amusement. “Maybe that should be the new Rooster Teeth system – we just tag everybody so that if someone finds them while they’re drunk it’ll say their name and address on it.”</p><p>“Like a lost dog!” Gavin added.</p><p>After answering the expected questions, such as ‘what did it feel like?’ and ‘what do you remember?’, the crowd thinned to leave us main seven in our office to get to work. Our Grand Theft Auto 5 Let’s Play was littered with references to eating cake, me being back and jokes about not wanting to shoot me in-game because it was ‘too soon, right?’. I actually found this amusing in my heightened state of happiness, laughing along as we all went through the usual motions with me acclimatising again very quickly.</p><p>Apart from the occasional ache when I shifted in my seat, it was like I’d never been gone.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Safe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Halloween has arrived and Geoff's hosting a party! Fluff time (I can't stop) with angst near the end.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>For mostly Millie and her friends’ sake, Geoff’s house had been decorated lavishly for Halloween with assistance from us. Glowing orange pumpkin string-lights hung around the porch accompanied by various wispy fake spider webs and a skeleton whose mouth opened and eyes lit up when it sensed movement. Inside, more webs and spider-themed paper streamers hung from the ceiling and light fixtures as the room’s lights were set to a low, warm hue to create a more spooky atmosphere. People were milling around in costumes from glow-in-the-dark skeletons, to zombies complete with fake dirt and torn clothing, to vampires with special-effects blood and cape.</p><p>The adults had made an effort for the kids, but even I couldn’t deny the fact that the child inside of me loved Halloween for the reason of dressing up, although the candy was a good perk too. Geoff, despite having very little interest in wearing a costume had been attacked by Millie and I’s mischievous plan to get everyone into an outfit of some kind whether they liked it or not.</p><p>We had planned, I had bought supplies with me and she had dictated who should wear what as we grinned at one another, hands behind our backs holding props and staring at Geoff, who had just finished setting up the kitchen counter in the large open-plan room with bowls and plates of themed snacks. Warily, he eyed us both as we approached him.</p><p>“What’re you two up to?” he questioned right as I lunged at him playfully, sticking a headband with pointy red horns on his head as Millie dived in to clip a long, red devil tail to the waistband of his shorts.</p><p>“Hold this!” Millie beamed, thrusting a plastic pitchfork into his hand as he stood bewildered, looking like the most casual version of lucifer in the entire world in his grey t-shirt, salmon-coloured knee-length shorts and Vans. His slightly curled moustache somehow set it off though, weirdly.</p><p>“I wasn’t gonna- dammit you two!” he chuckled, checking his reflection in the mirrored oven door in the cabinet behind him.</p><p>“You look great Geoff,” I grinned triumphantly as Millie offered me a high-five which I promptly returned. “Y’know who else I think is going to turn up without being in costume?” I asked her, to which she shrugged. “Ryan.”</p><p>Her eyes lit up as she rummaged in the plastic carrier bag that I’d brought over with me. “He can be a kitty!” she announced, holding up a pair of cat ears as Geoff cracked up.</p><p>Jack was out of town with mention of spending time with his family, particularly his young nephews who were of perfect trick-or-treat age, but Michael turned up as Ash from Pokémon complete with Pokéballs while Lindsay had decided to be Princess Peach, with a huge netted pink dress sweeping around her feet and a tiny jewelled gold crown on her head.</p><p>I had chosen a fairly common costume, but one that no one else at the party had picked thankfully – Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. It was very much true to the original film too, with the cornflower blue pinafore gingham dress reaching my knees and the puffy white blouse beneath it buttoned up to my neck conservatively. White ankle socks and red glittery heels completed the look, with me having also divided my dark hair into two braids tied with ribbon. The only thing I didn’t have was a dog, but I easily made up for that by carrying around a small stuffed plushie Toto.</p><p>As Millie dashed past me dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood, followed by her eight friends who were also all dressed up in various spooky outfits, I grinned as I noticed Michael jump out of the way of the excited nine and ten year-olds or else get ploughed down.</p><p>“Is there a ‘no running indoors’ rule, or…?” he asked, watching them loop back around and use Lindsay’s huge puffy dress as something to hide behind whilst trying to hit each other with plastic weapons as she laughed.</p><p>“I don’t care,” Geoff shrugged, now owning the devil look by carrying around his pitchfork everywhere, I noticed. “Long as they don’t break anything. Which they won’t, if they know what’s good for them.”</p><p>The doorbell rang as I answered it to Ryan, who was predictably not at all in costume and was instead wearing his usual t-shirt and jeans. As he entered the living room and said hi to everyone, Geoff commented on his lack of dress-up, which prompted Millie to stop and look to me for my prompt. I nodded as we both went for the dress-up bag, with me grabbing the black face paint crayon and her grabbing the headband with black and white cat ears.</p><p>“Ohhh no,” he grinned, backing away from us as it became immediately obvious what our plan was. “No, no-“</p><p>I paused, holding the black crayon aloft before deciding that no, he was absolutely going to have whiskers if it killed me. I dove at him.</p><p>In surprise, he fell backwards onto the sofa like planned as I wrestled with him, eventually straddling him and managing to draw one wonky line near his nose in black before he managed to grip my writing arm firmly and hold it away from his face. Unfortunately for him, Millie took this chance to plant the headband on his head.</p><p>“God dammit, now I look like an idiot, don’t I?” he commented with an amused sigh as I laughed at his resistance.</p><p>“I guess you’d better just keep still and let her do it, dude,” Michael chuckled, watching as I lowered the black crayon back to Ryan’s cheek. “Or else be a weirdly-injured cat for the rest of the evening.”</p><p>“Alright, fine.” He had given in and was keeping still enough for me to correct the wonky whisker and draw a few more, straighter lines before meeting his eyes.</p><p>“There,” I said, satisfied. “Now you’re a kitty-cat!”</p><p>“That’ll teach you to show up to a Halloween party without a costume,” Geoff called over with a laugh as I climbed off of Ryan to allow him to get back up.</p><p>“You did the same thing!” I pointed out, raising my eyebrows at him.</p><p>“I didn’t turn up, I live here,” Geoff smirked pettily before helping himself to the bowl of chips sitting out on the counter. “They attacked me too, by the way.”</p><p>“…meow?” Ryan smirked mockingly.</p><p>“You two need a team name!” Lindsay laughed. “Team Dress-Up?”</p><p>Millie and I exchanged glances before nodding in agreement at this, with her happily going off to talk to her friends again and me answering the door again as more invited people flooded in, including Ray who was wearing a colourful poncho and a large sombrero, because <em>of course </em>he was, and Jeremy, who was dressed up as a cowboy sheriff.</p><p>Many party games and songs later and with people having shoved jackets and bags into Gavin’s currently vacant part of the house due to him visiting his mom in England, the majority of people were pretty merry from the alcoholic punch and other various alcoholic drinks that had been shared around. Those of us that were still entirely sober (which was really just Ryan, Ray and I) took Millie and her friends trick-or-treating up the long street and back again, gathering ridiculous amounts of candy and chocolates in themed buckets as the adults cooed over their adorable costumes.</p><p>As the night drew to a close, the kids were, one by one, picked up by their respective parents, leaving only a yawning Millie still dressed up in red. Geoff took her to bed, instructing us to keep the noise down now, which we did by turning off the music and resorting to sitting around chatting after a decidedly successful Halloween party. Plopping down onto the sofa next to Michael and Lindsay, who were, as Geoff would put it, ‘drunk as dicks’, I watched them bicker and try to have a discussion about the Marvel universe through their laughing and slurring.</p><p>“Ryan the Cat Guy!” Lindsay called, beckoning him to come and sit with us, though there was very little space left. When I pointed this out, she only shrugged. “He can sit on Michael.”</p><p>“What the fuck, no he can’t,” Michael protested, pointing to me. “Sit on her!”</p><p>“Or maybe <em>she</em> should sit on <em>him</em>,” Lindsay replied as they both broke into sniggers at that implication.</p><p>“Okay, just to be clear,” Ryan smirked, cracking open a can of Diet Coke with a hiss as he perched on the sofa arm beside me and handed me a can too, “I’m not sitting <em>on</em> anyone.”</p><p>“What you do in your spare time is your business, Ryan,” Jon giggled from the chair nearby, downing another vodka shot after clinking it against Jeremy’s identical one.</p><p>This lead into a ridiculous conversation about who would be dominant with certain people, which everybody found stupidly funny and possibly funnier still due to their blood-alcohol content. It was pretty mutually decided that Ryan wouldn’t be a bottom for anyone, with Geoff being dependant on who he was with. Nobody thought that Gavin would be dominant over anyone but Michael had argued that he ‘could see that though, with Jon’, who then immediately protested that he would absolutely top Gavin.</p><p>“Is Michael just like Mogar, d’you think?” I joked, deepening my voice to do an impression of him. “<em>Mogar is going to fuck you now</em>.”</p><p>Lindsay cackled. “Yes, that’s exactly what he’s like with me! I’m so glad someone finally understands!”</p><p>“I actually think,” Jeremy smirked, slightly clumsily pouring himself another shot, “that Ryan would secretly love to be dominated.”</p><p>“By another guy?” Michael asked, joining in on the vodka shots that Jon was passing around now.</p><p>“No, by a woman,” Lindsay replied resolutely. “We don’t know what he does when he’s not at work.”</p><p>As everyone howled with laughter, I grinned up at Ryan on the sofa arm to see him shaking his head.</p><p>“I can say definitively that that isn’t true,” he stated firmly with slightly pink cheeks, but nobody seemed convinced as they continued the conversation and took it in a slightly different direction.</p><p>My mind drifted as I wondered if I could ever get him into that position of being submissive to me and whether or not I’d even have the guts in the first place. There was obviously no way I could tie him up or anything like he had to me without his cooperation, but maybe if I could just get him on his back, I might be able to take charge…</p><p>It took us all a while to realise that Geoff hadn’t returned from putting Millie to bed, so I left the living room to go and look for him. Pushing open the door to the nine year-old’s room with a gentle squeak, I couldn’t help letting out a little noise of ‘aww’ as I observed the sleeping girl in her bed with her fully-dressed dad snoozing next to her on top of the duvet, his arms around her and one hand holding an open storybook as they both slept peacefully. Closing the door again, I turned and walked back to the others, where I noticed immediately that Ryan had stolen my seat.</p><p>“Hey!” I pouted as he smirked at me. “I was sitting there.”</p><p>With no other option than the floor, I made the perhaps unwise decision to just sit on his lap stubbornly, hoping that he would be uncomfortable and give the seat back up to me.</p><p>“What did you think that was gonna accomplish?” Michael chortled at my momentary stupidity. “He’s just gonna stay there and now you have to too.”</p><p>I shrugged and reached for my lemonade on the coffee table right as Ryan decided to pull me down into him properly so that instead of perching on his thighs awkwardly, I was at an angle in his lap with his arms around me. He smirked at me daringly as though having decided to see how far he could push this without the others cottoning on that we were in a relationship. As far as Rooster Teeth went though, that was a pretty long way because mostly everyone was pretty comfortable with one another, the majority having known each other for literally years. For now, this was flying under the radar of ‘friendship and messing around’.</p><p>There was just one problem.</p><p>“You’re blushing!” Lindsay pointed out with a giggle, causing me to sigh and roll my eyes. Of course I was.</p><p>“He caught me unaware, dammit,” I defended, glancing back at Ryan to see his eyes full of mischief and looking particularly adorable when combined with the cat ears and whiskers.</p><p>Never one to miss a trick even when drunk, Michael smirked. “Yeah, or she likes sitting in Ryan’s lap.”</p><p>I scowled at him a little unfairly because he was right on the money. “Why would I particularly like sitting here? I’m just sitting here because he stole my seat.”</p><p>“Ryan the Seat-Stealing Guy,” Jon said quietly as Jeremy cracked up beside him.</p><p>Thankfully the subject was changed, but as time ticked by and the others got sleepy and decided to pass out more-or-less where they were, Ryan prompted me to get up. I obliged, watching Lindsay lean on Michael’s shoulder as they slept in their slumped-down positions on the sofa.</p><p>“Where’s Geoff?” Ryan asked me quietly, though I had a feeling that nothing could wake our drunk friends back up before morning.</p><p>“Asleep on Millie’s bed with her,” I smiled. “I’m guessing he was reading to her and fell asleep there.”</p><p>“Do you want to sleep in Geoff’s bed, since he’s not using it?”</p><p>“With you?” I asked, stupidly as we walked.</p><p>“I mean…yeah, I wasn’t planning on sleeping on the floor,” Ryan chuckled as he approached the bedroom door with me in tow.</p><p>I hesitated when he pushed open the door and stepped inside the room, expecting me to follow him. Instead, my eyes roamed the room as though I was expecting Ellie to be hiding behind the curtains or something. Ryan hadn’t been there that night; he hadn’t seen what had happened. He didn’t know the exact place in the room I had dropped to the floor bleeding in Geoff’s arms. He didn’t know where Geoff had stood with his arms up, hoping that she wouldn’t shoot him. He didn’t know where Gavin had pinned her down, crying and babbling on his cell phone for an ambulance for me while I drifted into unconsciousness.</p><p>As he turned back to look at me, it seemed to dawn on him that I suddenly wasn’t okay as I stood frozen in the doorway, my heart caught in my throat as I began to feel slightly dizzy. I backed away - it was too soon. My wound had basically healed, no longer needing to be bandaged and I also knew that obviously the wood-panelled floor had been scrubbed clean of my blood leaving were no traces of anything awry happening in there at all now. But my brain was telling me to run.</p><p>“Hey, it’s safe here now-“ Ryan began, clearly catching up to the realisation of what I was mentally going through, but I had gone and was across the open plan living room-kitchen in seconds, fumbling with the front door latch and throwing myself outside. As I fell to my knees on the neat front lawn, I tried desperately to feel less woozy by taking deep breaths as I stared down at the dark, damp grass, my stomach lurching as I became aware of Ryan appearing beside me. He stroked a hand firmly down my back and spoke some comforting words, but I felt like everything was spinning as my heart thumped hard in my chest, the dewy grass soaking through my dress to my knees.</p><p>“I can drive you to mine, or yours,” Ryan said softly, still rubbing my back as I tried not to hurl. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”</p><p>“Anywhere else,” I replied, beginning to shiver from the cold night air. “I need to be somewhere that isn’t here.”</p><p>He nodded, standing up again. His voice took on the firm tone he used when he was about to start telling me what to do, but there was no smirk, no desire in his voice. “Stay here in the fresh air, I’ll be back in a minute.”</p><p>Slowly, I began to come back to myself, my heart rate steadying as the chilly breeze bit at my bare arms while I waited, the self-loathing beginning to creep up on me as I realised how much I hated feeling this way. Why was I sometimes such a god-damned burden?</p><p>Without a word, Ryan returned and offered me his hand to help me up before he drove us to the nearest safe place which was my flat. As I numbly unlocked the door and was careful to lock it again behind us once we were inside, I made my way to my bedroom with only strips of moonlight preventing the living room from being pitch black.</p><p>I had no idea what to say as I hovered near my bed; my gut instinct was to apologise for feeling this way, but my brain argued in my defence that I had had no control over it, which was technically true.</p><p>“Get undressed and get into bed,” Ryan told me quietly but firmly. Silently I obeyed, my thoughts still scattered and self-doubting as I climbed under the covers in just my panties. He slid into bed with me in just his t-shirt and boxers, pulling me into his warm, firm embrace from behind as though bracing my body against his. I still hadn’t said a word, but he just whispered. “You’re safe.”</p><p>I nodded a small bit as I felt his breath tickle the back of my neck when he spoke.</p><p>“Repeat it,” he murmured as I breathed evenly.</p><p>“I’m safe.” My words were as quiet as his had been as I lay there with him comfortably, finally relaxing on an exhale after not even realising how tensed up I had been this entire time. “I’m safe.” I said it again as my eyes closed, something akin to relief washing through me.</p><p>And without meaning it with any kind of sexual implication as he gently leaned to kiss my neck once, he replied,</p><p>“Good girl.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thought I'd take dominant!Ryan in a different direction here, because I could totally see him displaying how much he cares this way in this situation.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. High</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Vacation time before the final crunch begins!]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The temptation to make a joke about Ryan being in the air was almost overwhelming in this chapter, but I resisted. Just. XD</p><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning - from about halfway down.</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>As November rolled around, so too did the vacation plans for us to fly to Australia for a week. I actually felt sort of guilty about it considering the fact that I’d only recently had three weeks off from working because of being shot, but there again that wasn’t really what you could consider a <em>holiday. </em>This trip had been planned for almost a year with Gavin persuading Meg along a few weeks ago in place of Ellie, because her ticket was obviously going free now.</p><p>There was always a general consensus that whenever we all went somewhere like this as a group that stuff would end up getting recorded and edited for use on our channels, but the main idea was honestly to give everybody a break before the December crunch time finally rolled around. It was historically even worse than October and November with regards to working long hours and staying late up until about the middle of the month, and it was definitely group effort amongst all of the employees to make sure that everyone actually had the time off to see their families and loved ones for Christmas week at least.</p><p>Whilst we’d booked the plane tickets in bulk to ensure that nobody was going to be sitting totally on their own for the long-haul journey – which would take nearly eighteen hours not including the hour or so we’d already spent flying on a different plane over from Austin’s little airport to the much bigger, more international Dallas Fort Worth airport – I noticed that everyone was currently arranging where they were each going to sit amongst themselves according to the seat numbers marked on the tickets. Our seats were thankfully in a cluster and in Premium Economy to boot, with pairs of seats lining the edges by the windows and trios of seats running down the centre of the upper deck of the plane. With the Premium Economy section only seating thirty-five people in total, it was pretty cosy as we all shoved our hand luggage above us in the cupboard storage area, chatter all around us as everybody found their allocated seats.</p><p>Gavin and Meg sat as a pair to the side with Tina and Ray directly behind them. Lindsay, Michael and Jack sat in the middle aisle a few rows back from Ryan, Geoff and I, who had both unsurprisingly (to me at least) insisted that I sit between them. Strangers took their seats around us but as a party we weren’t far at all from one another, allowing us to lean around or over our seats to communicate when desired.</p><p>I hadn’t flown much in my life so being on an airplane this <em>huge </em>was totally new to me. I’d never been on a plane bigger than six seats wide with one aisle separating those seats into threes, but this plane was so gigantic that it had two floors to it and was – in Economy on the lower floor – <em>ten seats wide with two walkway aisles. </em>I supposed that all long-haul flights were like this because of how long you spent on them, but it was still a little weird.</p><p>Knowing how warm it would be when we arrived in Sydney because we were going from around 9 C/48 F to around 28 C/82 F, we had all dressed for the heat with sandals, shorts, skirts, t-shirts and sunglasses, none of us wanting to travel in uncomfortable denim for over half a day. Even my usual love of jeans was currently going out of the window with the short navy skirt I was wearing, because despite it not being the hottest part of the year in Australia by far, it was still due to be fairly pleasantly hot for our stay according to the forecasts.</p><p>Clipping my seatbelt together as the other passengers around me did exactly the same, we all observed the steward who, in a very smiley and efficient way, pointed out the exit points of the plane and explained the procedures. Geoff already looked bored due to having flown hundreds of times in his life, while Ryan looked politely attentive. Behind us, I could hear Lindsay and Michael casually bickering already.</p><p>Once the plane had levelled out the seatbelt sign flicked off, allowing people to roam. I took the opportunity to grab my tablet out of my bag in order to hook it up to the Wi-Fi and hopefully get some reading done or binge-watch some shows and films. On my left, Geoff was sorting out his phone to probably pull up an audiobook of some kind, knowing him.</p><p>“This is going to be an interesting flight,” Ryan smiled at Geoff who I noticed smirked back at him, leaving me glancing between them wondering what they meant by that right as a stewardess began to offer people complimentary drinks. Accepting sparkling water while Geoff requested a gin and lemonade, I tapped around on my tablet until I found my Kindle app, preparing to settle in and start a good new book to start with.</p><p>Ryan, seeing that he wasn’t going to get much conversation out of us for a while at least, stood up to reach into his bag for a paperback book, which looked to be a mystery-thriller. It wasn’t long before Lindsay had walked over to Geoff’s seat from the aisle to interrupt us however.</p><p>“Alright, book club?” she grinned as we all looked up at her simultaneously, causing her to raise her eyebrows.</p><p>“Not bad,” I giggled, realising that she was right. “What’re you guys up to?”</p><p>“Ray and Tina are playing Pokémon together, I think,” Lindsay replied as I turned and stood up to look over at the pair of them holding their Nintendo 3DS’. “Gavin and Meg are watching Die Hard.” She was referring to the way that the seats all had tablet-screens in the backs of them containing hundreds of box sets and films that you could rent whilst on-board. Meg had the window seat, but there wasn’t much to see right now considering it had been dark outside upon us boarding.</p><p>“That would have been me and Gavin, back in the day,” Geoff sighed. “But then he started actually getting girlfriends.”</p><p>“Who would have thought that would ever happen?” Joked Lindsay as she breathed in and leaned forward a bit against Geoff’s seat to allow room for a stranger to walk past behind her. “You’ve been replaced, son!”</p><p>“I guess I have,” Geoff chuckled. “Luckily I’m not too broken up about it.”</p><p>Past midnight, Jack informed us that we would be meeting up with Caiti, his Australian-born wife who had moved to Austin to live with him after they’d gotten married earlier in the year. She did still travel a lot as an actress and model however, leading her to currently be in her home country doing charity work  as part of her organisation to help ‘at risk’ young girls. I had met her exactly once on hers and Jack’s wedding day, but I was looking forward to spending more time with her since we seemed to have gotten on like a house on fire.</p><p>A few passengers around us had decided, upon requesting blankets and eye masks, to get some shut-eye, but I was far from tired despite knowing that I should try to get some rest so as not to screw up my sleeping pattern more than it already was going to be due to the harsh time difference between Austin and Sydney. As I rose out of my seat and shimmied a little past Geoff, who ‘helpfully’ supported me by my ass so I wouldn’t fall backwards into his lap, I shot him a smirk before making my way to the toilets nearby, wondering whether to rent a movie to fall asleep to. With it being fairly quiet now due to it being late the toilets were vacant, allowing me to waltz right in.</p><p>Washing my hands after and drying them before unlocking the door and pulling it open, I nearly jumped out of my skin as I came face to face with Geoff who was leaning against the wall outside, his colourfully-tattooed arms folded as he waited. I moved to the side to let him enter as I left in a moment of naivety, but he instead gripped my hand and pulled me back inside with him as he swiftly locked the door.</p><p>“Geoff, what-?” I asked, but he had already turned around in the tiny toilet to face me, his eyes sparkling.</p><p>“Ever fucked on a plane before?”</p><p>My mouth hung open in response to this before he leaned in to kiss me, not waiting for a reply. The reply would have been ‘no’, by the way, but he was already kissing me with increasing hunger and passion as he coaxed me firmly to turn around so that my back was to the door instead as his hand moved up into my hair, the other running gently up my bare outer thigh under my skirt.</p><p>“Geoff what if someone knocks or hears us?” I gasped, feeling him hook a finger through the waistband of my skirt and panties at the same time.</p><p>“I seem to recall you liking that threat,” Geoff whispered near my ear as he stooped to remove all of the clothing on my lower half in one smooth action, before taking my face in his hands and once again meeting his lips with mine. Despite the complete unexpectedness of the situation, I was beginning to feel the familiar fiery desire burning as I gave in, my blood racing with the naughty excitement of it as he pushed my shirt up to kiss softly down my chest and midriff before sinking into a kneeling position, surprising me again.</p><p>With a hand on the underside of my thigh to support me, he suggested that I lift my knee up and brace my foot against the edge of the sink’s tiny counter edge to allow him to lean in and flutter his tongue inside the folds of my pussy, using the fingers of his free hand to better access my clit as I tiled my head back against the door with a very gentle thud while my eyes closed. Recently, he’d shaved his face smooth having grown bored of styling a moustache so often (“it just takes so much work, you wouldn’t know”, he’d told me) and had grown back some stubble that was tickling slightly as he made me tremble with his mouth.</p><p>“Y’know what?” he paused for a second to speak, still so close that I could feel his hot breath on the inside of my thigh. “Ryan was right, you do taste good.”</p><p>I groaned quietly in lust as he smirked and continued.</p><p>Very quickly I became wet of my own involuntary doing as well as his, causing him to stand again and lose his shorts and boxers before wrapping his arms around me and planting his hands just below my ass. He picked me up in one swift motion with my cooperation as I wrapped my legs around his waist and he used the door as leverage to hold me up, easing himself into me as I forced myself not to moan out loud. In a flurry of heat and passion, we both fought to keep as quiet as possible, but it was a serious struggle as he thrust deliberately hard. Couple that with the fact that I hadn’t had sex in weeks due to being in hospital and then recovering and it had left me feeling tighter than ever.</p><p>This only served to make it feel better for the both of us as Geoff nipped at my earlobe before kissing my neck between heavy breaths and eventually biting down a little, eliciting a moan out of me that I then stifled quickly by biting my own lip. Our eyes met as we mutually seemed to silently agree that the fact that a whole airplane full of oblivious people sitting outside the door while we fucked in the toilet was <em>definitely </em>getting us both off.</p><p>“I’ve fuckin’ missed you,” he whispered, while I agreed likewise.</p><p>The angle of his body against mine as he thrust up into me was rubbing against me in just the right way to make me start to edge closer to orgasm, with him leaning to bite at my neck again harder now. Had I had a rational thought process in the moment, I would have told him to stop for fear of having a mark for the rest of the flight that would cause questions, but my mind had gone blissfully blank as he groaned and dug his nails in the bottom of my thighs where he was half-supporting me against the door right as he came.</p><p>“Fuck!” he moaned quietly, not slowing up as he deliberately pushed me over too, causing me to grip hard at his shoulders and nearly yelp at the combined pleasure and slight stinging pain before I felt his arm strength give out. I slid down and back onto my feet, breathless as he leaned to kiss me again but far more softly. He nipped my bottom lip between his teeth before finally pulling away and proceeding to redress himself.</p><p>Now that the flurry of lust and passion was vanishing, I was beginning to feel slightly worried. How long had we been in here? How red was my neck? How were we going to leave this toilet without making it obvious we’d been in here simultaneously?</p><p>I bent to pick up my skirt and panties, pulling them back on quickly and checking myself out in the mirror as Geoff smiled from behind me in our reflection before affectionately running his fingers through my hair to tidy it for me before planting a final kiss on my cheek and leaving, answering one of my internal questions. Deciding to wait for a minute or two before venturing back to my seat, I leaned on the sink with both hands and stared into my own eyes in the mirror.</p><p>This was going to be one hell of a flight if that was how the first few hours had gone.</p><p>Lowering his book, Ryan waited for me to sit back down before he raised an eyebrow at me. “Where have you been?”</p><p>“The toilet,” I replied truthfully, even smiling a little cockily because he couldn’t even accuse me of lying to him this time.</p><p>“With Geoff?” he asked without missing a beat as I attempted not to break eye contact with him.</p><p>“Well, I mean, I didn’t pee <em>in front</em> of him,“ I said very quietly, feeling the colour in my cheeks rise as I once again became very aware that we were surrounded by strangers who might be able to overhear us should they care to listen.</p><p>“I’m sure you didn’t,” He replied lightly, as though we were making small talk about the weather. Why were his blue eyes so intense?</p><p>I caved and looked away first, feeling as though he was waiting for an admission of guilt. “I didn’t plan- I mean, I didn’t know- Geoff just-“</p><p>“Would you like a shovel?” Ryan smiled, implicating a metaphor for the fact that I was only making this worse for myself.</p><p>I shut up.</p><p>“We <em>might</em> have planned how to spend this flight in a different way than you have,” Ryan continued, his voice still low as he leaned sideways a little so I could still hear him. “By the way…nice bite mark.”</p><p>My hand automatically shot up to my neck where Geoff’s mouth had been mere minutes earlier as I glanced sideways at him to see him watching me with a smile before he put his earbuds back into his ears and tapped around on his phone.</p><p>“So…by ‘might’…you mean you both <em>have</em>,” I responded, licking my lips with nervous excitement at the prospect that maybe this wasn’t going to feel like such a long journey after all.</p><p>Ryan only smirked in response.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>Opening the door to Geoff’s house once again, I stepped over the threshold only to discover that I was back in this game of cat-and-mouse with a twisted murderer. There was no gun this time, but instead Ellie wielded a kitchen knife as she stalked me while I tried to navigate the mixed-up house. None of the rooms were where they were supposed to be, but I was desperately trying to get through it for some reason. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I threw open the bathroom door as I heard a noise behind me, but the bathroom was Geoff’s bedroom and as I crossed it, I slipped up on my own pool of blood in my bare feet, the red liquid already staining the wooden floor. Painfully, I hit the floor and scrabbled to climb back up with my now-wet hand on the edge of the bed to support myself, but she was in the room with me, only she no longer looked like Ellie. </em>
</p><p><em>Now she looked like </em>me.</p><p>
  <em>The knife glinted as my double lifted it to plunge it down through me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, do you want breakfast?” she asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I frowned, confused as she paused. “What?”</em>
</p><p>“[Y/N], do you want food?”</p><p>Geoff was gently nudging me awake and my eyes shot open as I jumped in my seat, realising that a stewardess was smiling down at me with her trolly in tow while Ryan and Geoff gazed at me.</p><p>“Uh…yeah…yes, please.” These nightmares were really beginning to get on my nerves.</p><p>I adjusted my seat into a sitting position, opening my tray table in front of me as the lady served us breakfast on plates. There was a general babble amongst the public around us now, making me wonder how I’d slept through it as we ate.</p><p>“I ordered for you,” Ryan stated. “Hope you don’t mind, but you were dead to the world.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I replied, hungrily chewing. Aside from the smaller seating section and wider, more comfortable seats, the food also seemed better in this class too, with it being served on actual plates rather than cardboard trays and seeming to be of nicer quality. I glanced at the time, but it was only early morning and the sky was beautifully lit with the clouds topped off with a pinkish sheen below us from the rising sun.</p><p>“Nightmare?” Geoff asked casually, sipping black coffee.</p><p>“Yep.” There was no need to explain. They already knew by now that I struggled to get a sound night’s sleep any more.</p><p>“Michael, stop throwing toast at me!” came Gavin’s yelp from behind us as Geoff leaned around in his seat to see what was going on.</p><p>“I’m not <em>throwing it, </em>you said you wanted some, so I gave it to you!” Michael laughed as though Gavin was overreacting.</p><p>Without being able to see them I merely rolled my eyes with a smile as I heard Jack laugh, imagining something of a mini food fight happening a few rows back. Despite it being nearly nine, there were still a couple of people around us who were somehow managing to still sleep through the commotion of rustling newspapers, plastic cutlery and chatter.</p><p>When breakfast finished, I grabbed my toothbrush pouch out of my bag in the top storage cabins and made my way to the toilet, but when I returned Gavin was sitting in my seat in conversation with Geoff. With a shrug, I plonked myself down next to Meg instead with Jack across the aisle to my right and Michael and Lindsay next to him.</p><p>“What’s up?” I greeted them as Michael leaned forward to speak to me.</p><p>“Gavin moved. He’s pouting because I threw toast at him.”</p><p>“So…you did throw it at him,” I said pointedly as he grinned. “Even though you insisted you didn’t.”</p><p>“Well yeah,” he shrugged while Jack chuckled at the stupidity of the whole thing. “I was bored. He did ask for the toast though.”</p><p>“Oh, well that’s alright then,” I giggled, as Meg ran her hairbrush through her long, straight electric purple hair.</p><p>“He got me a little bit too, but I just threw it back,” she commented with a smile as I leaned forward to look past her out of the window at the amazing view of the puffy clouds painted with soft watercolour peach and orange tones, admiring the beauty. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Patience</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Your boyfriends decide it would be fun to play games with you. You also confide in Lindsay. Also, yes, Ryan is still in the air <s>haha sorry</s> ]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning - from about halfway down.</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The trend of us swapping around and playing musical seats continued for most of the rest of the flight as everyone wanted the chance to chat to one another and have a slight change up to the monotony. What would be midday in Austin’s time zone was approaching rapidly as my phone buzzed with a message. It was comprised of one word followed by a number.</p><p>
  <em>‘Toilet 1?’</em>
</p><p>With a slight smile on my lips as I replied, Lindsay leaned over to see what I was doing now that I was sitting between her and Jack in the middle section, but I made an effort to hide the screen from her and texted back, <em>‘sure, 5 mins’</em>.</p><p>Lindsay giggled. “Who wants to play what now?”</p><p>Stumbling for an excuse, I lied unconvincingly about a friend who didn’t know I was on a plane right now. She really didn’t seem to believe me which I didn’t blame her for at all because I was trash at lying.</p><p>My phone buzzed again and I could feel her eyes burning into the side of my head as I checked it.</p><p>“Dude, is that a love bite?” She’d had the sense to considerately lower her voice a little as she squinted at my neck through my hair.</p><p>“I- oh…no,” I lied again.</p><p>She raised her eyebrows. “Hey, if you don’t wanna tell me, it’s cool.” She put her hands up and reached for her phone, but I felt insanely guilty now because she was one of my best friends.</p><p>“Alright look…you have to promise me something,” I said very quietly and firmly while her eyes widened in the anticipation of learning a secret.</p><p>“Sure. I won’t tell a soul. Not even Michael.”</p><p>“Okay, because this isn’t public information,” I added. “Even to the rest of the office, let alone anyone outside of it.” I paused, checking that Jack was still leaning away from us and talking to Michael and Ray across the aisle, therefore not listening to a single word we were saying.</p><p>Lindsay was staring at me curiously. “Got it. I especially won’t tell Michael.”</p><p>I laughed a little. “Right. Well…I’m…” I observed Ryan getting up and heading towards the toilet, meaning I should wait a minute or two before following. “I’m dating Ryan.” I had no idea how much of the truth to admit to at this stage, wondering what she thought of poly relationships in general as a married woman. Somehow it had never come up.</p><p>There was a slight hesitation before her mouth curved into a grin and her eyes lit up. “I <em>knew </em>it!”</p><p>“What?” I asked, bewildered. “Knew what?”</p><p>She had the decency to keep her voice low. “You two have been way more friendly with each other for a while now. Just little things, but it was pretty obvious to me that you were together. I have never seen Ryan console someone in the way he did to you when you got that hate mail during AHWU. Is that bite from him?”</p><p>Somehow I was back to lying to her, despite trying to tell her the truth. Balls. “Yes.”</p><p>Lindsay let out a small whistle of breath. “Damn, I had no idea he had it in him. He’s always so reserved.”</p><p>I stifled a snort of laughter because she literally had no goddamned idea. It was interesting though because I had thought exactly the same thing of him before he and Geoff had propositioned me. He’d just seemed like a sweet father of two with a strange sense of humour and a passion for all things technological and electrical. He’d also exuded fair amount of innocence regarding sexual activities due to his nature to become mostly tight-lipped about his personal habits and views when the conversation would turn a little more raunchy at random times between us all as a group, leading us to not even consider him doing anything particularly kinky. I’d since very clearly learned that him staying silent or making very few comments when sexual conversational topics came up did not necessarily indicate innocence.</p><p>“You’re not going to do the whole, ‘so what’s he like?’ thing are you?” I asked jokingly, while she laughed.</p><p>“Well...I’m curious! How long have you been dating?” she asked me.</p><p>“Uh…a little over a month.” I did the math in my head as her mouth opened in surprise.</p><p>“Man you two are sneaky,” she shook her head in amusement, clearly disbelieving of the fact that although she’d suspected, I hadn’t actually told her for that amount of time that I was dating someone. “I mean it doesn’t surprise me that I didn’t know about who he was dating, but <em>you?</em> Come on!”</p><p>I shrugged a little guiltily. The long-term boyfriend I’d had that had broken my heart before I’d joined Achievement Hunter years ago had done so because I’d moved to Texas for the job and therefore away from him. Despite all of the promises to be together forever, he hadn’t wanted to follow me so far across the country because of his family, leaving me to start a new life in Austin alone and freshly-single. Though she’d never met him, Lindsay had been there for me from the start and had repeatedly, with Barbara and Steffie’s help, tried to set me up over the years to no avail. Though they had never judged me for being single exactly, they did want me to be happy which I appreciated, but it had led to endless nights out with them trying to hook me up with someone.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I conceded. “But literally nobody knows. Also…please tell me that nobody else suspects us like you did.”</p><p>“I don’t think so,” she shrugged. “I didn’t mention my thoughts to anyone. Why does keeping it secret matter so much though?”</p><p>“Because…” This was it. I could tell her everything or I could chicken out and keep it to her only knowing about Ryan. It wasn’t about trusting her necessarily, it was about everyone not finding out and therefore treating me and possibly the guys differently because of it on a work level. And maybe thinking of me differently on a personal level too, the idea of which scared me. Was I underestimating her loyalty and understanding as a friend? “…I need to pee,” I concluded, taking the easy way out and sliding past her.</p><p>Groaning internally at my own yellow belly, I knocked once on the door of toilet 1 beyond the curtains separating Premium Economy from the other sections on the upper floor of the plane. Ryan, who had been waiting patiently, let me in before locking it behind us.</p><p>“Before you say anything,” I spoke, needing to get it off my chest, “I need to tell you that Lindsay knows about us. Just us. Not Geoff.”</p><p>Tilting his head to the side a little with an amused smile, Ryan asked, “How did that happen?”</p><p>“I told her…but she said she already kind of knew,” I sighed. “She won’t tell anyone though. I trust her.”</p><p>“I do too,” Ryan agreed. “Does it bother you if people know?”</p><p>“Honestly…? I thought the whole reason we were being so secretive about all this was because of the judgement aspect,” I reasoned with him. “I feel like I’ll just be seen as a slut who’s fucking her boss and someone else at the same time. And I wouldn’t want people to think you’re both – especially Geoff – taking advantage of me or something.”</p><p>His blue eyes met mine, his gaze intense enough that it almost felt like he could read my mind. “That’s not how <em>you</em> see this, is it?”</p><p>“Hell no,” I shook my head. “But it worries me that’s how other people will see it.”</p><p>He paused. “That’s fair.” His arms slid around my waist then to rest on my hips, a playful smile lifting at the corners of his mouth as he changed the subject. “So, here’s the thing. You know I like to play the long game when it comes to teasing you.”</p><p>“Yes…” Unlike Geoff, I should have known that Ryan would draw this out.</p><p>“I want you to give me your panties and go without underwear for the rest of the flight,” he finished with a smirk, his tone all confidence without a trace of hesitation.</p><p>“What?” I giggled in surprise. “That’s like three more hours! This was your idea, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“It was actually Geoff’s idea, though I find it funny you think it’d be mine.” His eyes slid down to the lower halves of my bare thighs as I self-consciously tugged my dark skirt down a bit, but it was made of cotton and was not going to magically stretch into suddenly having more material.</p><p>Biting my lip in thought for a second, I eventually nodded. “Alright fine, y’know what? Challenge accepted.” I whipped them off and stepped to the side before handing them over. “Do I get them back before we land at least?”</p><p>“If you behave,” Ryan smirked, pocketing them. “There is just one other thing though.”</p><p>“What…?” I asked warily, realising I should have expected it not to be that easy.</p><p>By way of reply perhaps, he pinned me against the door and began to kiss my neck softly, linking his fingers through mine as I made a small noise of pleasure and exposed more of my neck to his lips. He was being oddly gentle, I noticed, though that was probably a ploy of some kind.</p><p>“The catch is,” he breathed against my ear, causing my eyes to close in desire, “that you’re not leaving here until you’re horny as hell.”</p><p>For some reason this caused electricity to shoot south through me as he pressed his body against mine, making me wonder if this was going to be the second time today I was going to have sex on a plane while he continued to pepper my neck with kisses until I moaned quietly again, to which he responded by caressing up my side under my shirt with his hand so lightly that it almost tickled.</p><p>“Ryan, why?” I asked him breathily, in a strange predicament of enjoying his attention and not wanting it at the same time, because the wetter I was the harder it would be to go sans panties in a short skirt for the next three hours in a public place.</p><p>“Because you’re cute,” he replied simply, before kissing my lips with surprising gentleness. But then he pulled away and smirked again. “And because I know you’ll do as you’re told for me.”</p><p>My arousal spiked more from his words as I watched him unbutton his shorts.</p><p>“Open wide and I might think about letting you come afterwards,” he taunted softly, his eyes not leaving mine as I dropped to my knees obediently, knowing exactly what he wanted and wanting just as badly to give it.</p><p>He seemed to have a habit of talking dirty to me during times like these and I only encouraged it, knowing that we both loved it. When he took charge, I was willing to submit to him like I’d never even thought about doing for anyone else before, not only because it got me hot but also because it was strangely refreshing to have someone telling you what to do and you not having to think too much. Despite always having been quite stubborn normally, during situations like these it was a totally different story.</p><p>As I worked on him with my tongue, my free hand slid down to my crotch, wanting some relief for my building horniness. As if he had sensed my intentions from my vulnerable position on the floor, he gazed down at me and stroked his fingers back through my hair gently before gripping it tight.</p><p>“Don’t even think about it.”</p><p>Giving him what was hopefully an innocent Puss-In-Boots look and still with my mouth full of his dick, I shook my head slightly as he released his hold on my hair, his lips parting a little with pleasure as he stayed still for me to earn my orgasm by giving him his. I could tell he was close when he began to mumble cuss words; usually Geoff was the first to throw in swears left and right regardless but Ryan would usually only do it when he was losing control, no matter how temporarily that might be. As I’d anticipated, I soon felt the familiar warm liquid hit the back of my throat as I swallowed, slowed and gently encouraged him by using just my hand as he watched.</p><p>“Damn,” he smirked, his cheeks a little pink and his voice breathy from his release. “You’re sexy down there.”</p><p>Knowing that it would please him as much as it did me, I stood and smiled up at him before saying, “I like being a good girl for you.” Unconsciously I’d been craving his praise in a sexual sort of way, I realised suddenly.</p><p>He leaned to kiss my lips briefly while he did his fly back up, before stroking a hand over my hair. “Well, if you’re a <em>really </em>good, I’ll give you back your panties before we land.”</p><p>“Wait, but Ryan-“ Oh no he wasn’t.</p><p>“Don’t hide in here for too long,” he winked at me, unlocking the door.</p><p>
  <em>He fucking was.</em>
</p><p>“Ry!” I whined quietly, frustrated at him for going back on his consideration to relieve me too, right now. “Please?”</p><p>He let out a low chuckle as he paused, his hand still on the slotted handle. “As much as I love it when you beg…no. Not yet.” He opened the door and stepped outside right as I pouted and folded my arms like a child, but he had gone.</p><p>I cursed silently for probably ten seconds before cleaning up as best as I could. While he had left me alone and I could therefore have quite easily sorted myself out in here, the thought of doing that felt like I would be ruining the game. He was trusting me with this and I wanted to play along properly without cheating, so I sighed and accepted the fact that I was going to have to wait.</p><p>I returned to my freed up seat between Geoff and Ryan frustratedly, shuffling to get comfortable and attempting to think about something other than jumping either one of them right where they were sitting. A moment later, I realised that Geoff was staring at me. I glanced sideways at him, still a little bit grumpy at having been left hanging.</p><p>“You alright?” he asked, bemusedly.</p><p>“Well I’m not wearing panties anymore,” I whispered in reply, to which he grinned. This was his goddamned idea - I felt entitled to be mildly annoyed at him for it. “And now I’m horny because you’re both asses.”</p><p>“To be fair,” Ryan murmured, “Geoff only came up with the idea of you not wearing underwear for a while. The rest was all me.”</p><p>I glared at him a little, but I was unable to truly be mad. The truth was that I was trusting that at some point I would be given what I desperately needed, but I just needed to be patient. Sometimes delaying the pleasure made it better in the end, right? That was what I hoped, anyway. God, I really hoped.</p><p>Geoff shrugged nonchalantly. “Not my fault that Ryan’s an asshole.” It took him entire seconds of me gazing at him before it occurred to him what I was thinking. “It <em>might be</em> my fault that I agree that this is hot and wish I’d thought of it first. Don’t expect me to help you out.”</p><p>Rolling my eyes at the both of them now because they were as bad as each other, I tried to ignore my lust and wetness to instead play some innocent games on my 3DS.</p><p>Another hour and a half passed without incident, but then I noticed that Gavin had decided to begin a ‘video diary’ of sorts on his phone, clearly for the benefit of our fans in the future from the way he was addressing the camera and asking us to as well.</p><p>“Hey you lot, wave!” he told us, holding his phone over the three of us as I waved tentatively and Ryan merely smiled briefly at the camera. Geoff had fallen asleep, his earphones still in his ears as his audiobook played regardless. Man was he going to have fun rewinding to find the point in which he’d fallen asleep. Gavin moved away from us to film the others as I flipped my handheld shut and stretched with my arms over my head, slightly achy after sitting still playing ‘Pokémon X’ for so long. Though my horniness had somewhat faded, I was still feeling pretty pent up as I shifted to get comfortable again, my lack of panties only reminding me of this fact.</p><p>Ryan, with one of his smaller laptops out on his tray table next to me was watching some kind of Youtube Marvel Ultimate Universe theory video and as Geoff snored lightly on my other side, I was decidedly kind of bored. Sliding out of my seat and past Geoff, I was careful to keep my skirt down over my ass and backs of my thighs as much as possible.</p><p>“Hey, c’mere!” Lindsay beckoned me upon seeing me standing up. The two of them were sitting together next to Jack as Gavin, Tina, Michael and Ray seemed preoccupied with something as a small group in the two pairs of seats to the side. Standing over Jack who was snoring next to Meg and Lindsay, I waited for them to tell me what was going on.</p><p>“When we get to the hotel, we’re going to check in and head for the beach at about eleven,” Meg told me with a grin. “Are you in?”</p><p>“Absolutely!” One of the main things I was seriously looking forward to was gliding through the crystal blue seawater and lazing on my beach towel on the white sands, under an umbrella. This lead to a five minute discussion on the details of our bathing suits before Michael and Gavin interrupted us rudely.</p><p>“It sounds like you’re talking about the most boring thing in the world over there,” Michael rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Look, Jack’s asleep because of your conversation!” Gavin laughed, pointing.</p><p>“Jack was already asleep when I walked over here,” I replied with a snarky look. “You’re welcome to tell us about your bathing suits too, guys.”</p><p>“Okay, sure, they’re red shorts. The end,” Michael replied in a typically irritable-sounding way.</p><p>“Mine are blue,” Gavin added. “That took us two seconds. You lot have been gabbing on for <em>five minutes</em>!”</p><p>“Look, there’s brand, colour, style, design-“ Meg began but Gavin wasn’t listening as Michael shook his head, bemused.</p><p>“Ignore them, they’ll never understand,” Lindsay grinned as she patted Meg’s arm in consolation.</p><p>***</p><p>“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are due to begin our descent into Sydney Airport in just fifteen minutes. The local time is ten-past-six on a sunny Saturday morning. It’s currently already starting to warm up so get your sunglasses out!”</p><p>Considering that we had boarded the plane on Thursday evening at around ten at night Austin time, hearing this over the speakers was just plain surreal. It was also very lucky that there was way more than one toilet on board, because it seemed like everybody on the plane suddenly wanted to use them. There was literally no way I was getting my panties back on before we landed, let alone anything else.</p><p>“Oh no,” Geoff said with no feeling behind the words at all as we watched people queue for the toilet cubicles before smirking at me. “Now what are you going to do?”</p><p>“Go commando until we get to the hotel, I guess,” I shrugged, having gotten strangely used to it now despite how short my skirt was. So long as it wasn’t windy, I was definitely going to get away with this without shame.</p><p>“Who’s going commando?” Ray asked, suddenly appearing at Geoff’s side to offer us chips in a sharing bag he’d bought from the food trolly.</p><p>“Ryan,” I said without thinking.</p><p>“Oh, cool,” Ray replied as Geoff sniggered and took some. “Why?”</p><p>“Because…I guess I don’t like wearing underwear?” Ryan said slowly as he stared at me. He was definitely going to kill me later.</p><p>“Alright then.” Ray offered the chips to Ryan and I too but we refused, so he returned to his seat.</p><p>Geoff’s sniggers became full-on laughter as I bit my lip in an attempt not to giggle.</p><p>“It’s not so hot when it’s not me, is it?” I smirked as Ryan raised an eyebrow at the both of us.</p><p>“Look!” A woman said softly, pointing out of her window because we’d gradually descended below cloud-level. I stood up a little to see the magnificent view of the outline of Sydney and its airport from afar, the weather spectacularly sunny and warm as the seatbelt sign flicked on and we were instructed to return to our seats for landing.</p><p>A mere ten minutes later and I was setting foot on Australian tarmac for the first time ever, a small warm breeze reminding me that I should definitely be keeping hold of my skirt, just in case.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Reward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan finally decides to be merciful. Plus, fluffy beach fun!]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Google Earth is my saviour for real, I’ve never been to Australia.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>Explicit Smut Warning</b></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The hotel was incredible and looked exactly as it had on the website prior to booking last year. The obvious couples had double rooms, with Jack staying with Caiti nearby. Geoff, Ryan and I had a room each and as I dropped my bag on to my double bed, I couldn’t help but let a grin spread across my face as I gazed out of the glass double-doors leading out on to a small balcony overlooking Botany Bay. The hotel was so close to the beachfront it may as well have been on it, with that being one of the reasons we’d picked it initially as a group. The walls were papered cream with a king-sized double bed in the centre that I was definitely going to enjoy spreading out on. There was also a fancy en-suite bathroom with bathtub and shower, marble counter tops and fancy towels embroidered with the hotel’s logo in gold hanging from the rails.</p><p>The air-conditioning was already blowing pleasantly to cool the room to a comfortable temperature but the first thing I did was throw open the glass doors and stroll straight out on to the balcony to appreciate the stunning view and sunrise properly. I’d been saving up for so long for this vacation throughout the year and now that I was here, the exciting thrill of new things lay unknown before me.</p><p>I wasn’t in a room at the top of the building (where the penthouse suites were) but on the other hand, I was still plenty high enough for the people on the sidewalks to appear like colourful dots, the cars looking like toy models as the warm breeze whipped my hair around my shoulders a little and the freshly-risen sun flooded the streets with its glow with windows of buildings glinting below and around the hotel. The sky was such a clear shade of azure that it almost blended with the inviting ocean on the horizon, the white sands of the beach spreading out before it.</p><p>A knock on my room door brought me back down to earth as I pulled it open to see Ryan standing there, looking a little mischievous.</p><p>“Hey Ry,” I grinned as he stepped in past me and I allowed the heavy door to shut with a small <em>thunk</em>. “The view is <em>amazing</em>, have you seen it?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s incredible,” he agreed, nodding and staring out of my wide-open double balcony doors before watching me perch on the edge of my bed.</p><p>I gazed at him with a small smile, my hand suggesting that he sit down beside me, but he instead crawled into the centre of the bed and lay spread-eagled on his back, much to my amusement.</p><p>“Ahhhhh…this is a great bed!” he laughed as I burst into giggles.</p><p>“It’s probably the same as yours!” I pointed out, while he looked at me with a smile on his lips.</p><p>“Yeah, but I feel like this is comfier,” he replied firmly, before chuckling because I’d straddled him in one swift motion. “This bed is mine now.”</p><p>“Not a chance,” I grinned, leaning down over him to kiss his lips as I felt his hands slide up my sides and to my back. “You still owe me for the plane situation.”</p><p>“That’s true, you have definitely earned back your panties,” he smirked, knowing full-well that wasn’t what I meant at all as I worked his t-shirt up over his head with his assistance before sliding my hands up his bare chest and leaning forward on him a little while he raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“This time, I’m in control,” I stated with slight nervous butterflies in my stomach, as he watched me with curiosity while I discarded his shorts and underwear at the same time before straddling him again, fully aware that my desperation was building back up in light of my new-found power as I knelt up over him and guided his dick with my hand to sit down on it. He bit his bottom lip again, allowing me to take control; he was letting me do what I wanted.</p><p>His moans were soft to begin with but he was soon gripping my hips as I leaned forward with my hands either side of his body and controlled precisely how fast and hard I wanted to go, watching his expression relax into one of pleasure as I gasped at the relief of the feeling I’d needed for a good few hours now. He reached up to pull my t-shirt up over my head before tossing it aside, leaving me in my bra and ridden-up short skirt before closing his eyes, his lips parting a little because I chose that moment to increase my pace a little bit. Along with that, leaning down close to him in this position meant that I was able to also stimulate myself at the same time.</p><p>“Holy fuck,” he groaned as I watched him start to lose himself to the pleasure. He could probably reign it back in at an instant, but somehow I didn’t think he wanted to as I kissed along his stubbly jawline with affection. As much as I’d needed to get off previously and as good as this was making me feel too, I was wrapped up in the moment of enjoying seeing him be as vulnerable as I normally always was to him during intimacy.</p><p>It didn’t take too much longer of me riding him to find my release as I moaned loudly and he responded by digging his nails into my back in lust, the sudden mixture of pain and intense wave of pleasure shooting through me like fire, my body shivering as I came while I fought to still move through it to get him off too. Inevitably, he arched very slightly and mumbled, “Oh God” as my added tightness pushed him over too.</p><p>Breathless and barely able to support myself whilst leaning over him now, I just gazed into his eyes while he gazed back, the pair of us saying nothing for a few seconds before his hand went to the back of my head to pull me into a passionate embrace of kissing and rolling sideways on the bed until he was on top of me, his mouth still exploring mine as his hand slid down to my thigh. Squirming a little, I moaned against his lips as he grazed the fingers of his free hand up the outside of my leg and under my skirt, pushing first his middle finger followed by the two fingers either side of it into me, curving them upwards as he had in the closet weeks ago. I arched a little as he successfully found my G-spot relatively quickly by reading my body language and feeling me twitch slightly beneath him while my eyes searched his.</p><p>“Again?” I gasped.</p><p>“I think you deserve it,” came his reply accompanied by a devilish smile as he trailed kisses along my exposed collarbone.</p><p>My hand went into his hair gently, my breath already coming in pants again as I gripped the sheets with my other. He continued to watch me moan whilst keeping a pace with his fingers, kissing along my abdomen now while I moaned more and felt myself tremble from the stimulation as he added to it tenfold by changing the angle of his palm in order to rub it against my clit relentlessly at the same time.</p><p>He was still kissing my skin, up over my breasts, back up to my neck where he whispered tantalizingly, “You’re close again, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Please don’t stop…” I moaned pleadingly, feeling the pressure of the build-up.</p><p>“I’m not going to,” he replied softly, biting his lower lip a little as he watched me. “Come for me.”</p><p>That sent me barrelling over the edge of the metaphorical cliff as my orgasm tore through me and I was completely unable to help the scream that left my mouth. I clawed at him a little as I rode it out, my nails digging into the skin of his back and dragging a small way as he groaned.</p><p>Breathing heavily, I lay there for a second as he withdrew his fingers and lay beside me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the residing tingling feeling with a smile creeping on to my face as I felt my heart beat hard in my chest while my whole body gradually relaxed.</p><p>There was a brief silence while neither of us said a word, but Ryan broke it first.</p><p>“Do you want your panties back now?”</p><p>I giggled breathlessly, looking sideways at him as he smirked back at me.</p><p>“After I’ve showered.”</p><p>***</p><p>Sunlight warmed my skin accompanied by the contrasting cooling seawaters skimming my abdomen as I floated on my back close to shore, enjoying briefly being a starfish as the waves gently lapped at me before I was splashed unceremoniously by Tina, who had decided to start somewhat of a water fight.</p><p>“Hey!” I called out, spluttering as I floated upright again, splashing her back and accidently catching Lindsay who had just waded in up to her chest in her cornflower blue tankini, black round sunglasses pushed up into her loose hair.</p><p>Tina’s long dark hair was up in a ponytail but she had left her glasses in the hotel and was wearing contacts for this exact reason. As she grinned at my counter attack, I became aware of an adorable sandy-coloured Labrador Retriever paddling up to us, his mouth open and his intention clearly to make new friends. He bumped me with his wet nose, barking and licking at my face as I ruffled his head affectionately, laughing at the sight of the owner back on the beach yelling,</p><p>“<em>CODY! Get back here!</em>”</p><p>Meg, in her sequinned navy bikini, waded over to stroke him too, cooing as Lindsay laughed at the way that his furiously-wagging tail was splashing us all.</p><p>“I’m normally more of a cat person, but this little guy is just so friendly! Yes you are! Yes you aaaare!” Meg scratched under his wet furry chin, much to his delight.</p><p>“<em>CODY!</em>”</p><p>Finally, as though he had selective hearing, Cody’s ears pricked up a little and he splish-splashed his way out of the sea, galloped back across the sand to his owner and left us giggling as the dog promptly shook his wet fur out all over the man.</p><p>As we all slunk back to our little beach shelter half-tent to dry off, reapply sun lotion and sit in the shade for a while, Tina passed around water bottles which the four of us drank from thirstily. It required a group effort with each of us taking it in turns to spread the lotion across another’s back, which caused Lindsay to joke that ‘somewhere, Ray’s head is exploding’.</p><p>“Speaking of Ray, how are things with him?” Meg casually asked Tina. “You said you guys were looking for a place together, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, we’re looking,” Tina shrugged, sipping from her bottle. “Trying to find something in Austin ideally but…commuting might not be such a factor in the near-future.”</p><p>“Why not?” Meg asked with a frown as she dug her mirrored sunglasses out of her bag.</p><p>“He’s quitting.”</p><p>Meg gasped in wide-eyed surprise, but Lindsay and I had already known this on account of Geoff informing us at work the other day and Ray himself explaining that it was because he wanted to make his streaming hobby a full-time job, something which he could totally realistically do at the amount of subscribers and donations he regularly got along with the amount of commitment he had to it. I recalled Geoff leaving the meeting with Ray that day a little down, due to Ray being the first of his employees to ‘fly the nest’ so to speak. The hard truth was that though Ray had loved working with us, his heart just wasn’t in it any more.</p><p>“When?” Meg inquired, propping her sunglasses on the top of her head like Lindsay had.</p><p>“In a few months probably. He wanted to give Geoff loads of notice to give him time to figure out who will fill his spot since he’s not in a massive rush.” Tina leaned out of the half-tent and wrung her ponytail out again into the sand while I nodded.</p><p>“I’m glad it’s not like…next week. We’re going to miss him,” Lindsay commented, sighing. “But he has to do what makes him happy, right?”</p><p>“No he doesn’t, he should stay at Rooster Teeth and be miserable,” Meg joked with a laugh. “I’m surprised Gavin hasn’t mentioned it to me.”</p><p>With a smile, I remembered that they’d gotten pretty serious in the short time they’d been together and truthfully, they were sweet as a couple. I’d been exactly right about her initial perception of him: she thought he was a cute lovable dork in all of the best ways and he clearly adored her too, the pair of them drawn together like magnets.</p><p>The temptation to build lured us back closer to the shore a few minutes later where we all knelt constructing what we were dubbing ‘Fort Swimsuit‘ on account of it only allowing people wearing bathing suits in, apparently. As we giggled like children and used our hands and a stray bucket we’d borrowed, we built the world’s most underwhelming sand castle before laying around it on our towels, but it was <em>our </em>sand castle, dammit. Careful not to fall asleep and risk burning to a crisp despite the sun lotion, I closed my eyes against the brightness through my sunglasses, enjoying the heat as my mind wandered.</p><p>Three shadows soon darkened our view as squealing commenced, firstly by Meg which made me jump, but then by me, followed by Lindsay and Tina as the ice water hit my skin.</p><p>“You <em>asshole!</em>” Meg laughed, clambering to her feet to get revenge on Gavin, who was just one of the three figures to have just pranked us, the other two being Ray and Michael. They were all sniggering and having the decency to look a little guilty at the same time as we all reacted to the sudden temperature change.</p><p>“God dammit!” I yelled, shivering a little and then lunging for Michael’s leg to pull him to the ground, where I intended to bury him – literally. “You’re-gonna-pay!” I struggled while he tried to fight me off with surprising strength.</p><p>“Get-off-me!” he struggled back, laughing as I scooped sand over him as best as I could before he escaped my hold. Unfortunately this all but destroyed Fort Swimsuit.</p><p>Lindsay, also bent on revenge now because of the obliteration of her sand baby, decided to assist me while I heard Ray apologise to Tina while she giggled (“it was their idea, honest…”).</p><p>With one of his arms each, we managed to get Michael back down to the ground as he gently kicked and writhed, not seriously wanting to injure either of us but also trying fairly thoroughly to get out of his predicament.</p><p>“Hey! Meg! Help us with the sand!” I called out to her, causing her to turn away from play-hitting Gavin and crack up at our attempt to keep a grown man still so that we could submerge him in the ground. She was game though, running back over and using our sand castle bucket to scoop sand over his bare chest and torso much to everyone’s amusement, as he finally gave up wriggling and accepted his fate.</p><p>“Boi!” chirped Gavin in between laughs, whilst getting out his phone to inevitably record this. “How did this happen?”</p><p>Michael glanced up at the camera on the phone, looking resigned to the fact that he was now going to become one with the beach. “I could get out any time I want.”</p><p>“Shut up, we overpowered you,” Lindsay grinned, helping with the sand-scooping now that her husband was still. “You ruined our sand castle and now you’re gonna pay.”</p><p>“Not true, like I said, I could get out of this any time I want,” Michael replied firmly as we buried him under further, digging sand out from beneath him so he’d sink down a little. “And was that supposed to be a sand castle? It was terrible!”</p><p>“Shut up,” I laughed.</p><p>“Give him like a sand dong,” Ray suggested, to which we responded by laughing and doing just that, while Michael could only watch on with dry amusement.</p><p>“I mean, I think it’s bigger than that,” he commented as Lindsay giggled. “Come on, don’t sell me short here.”</p><p>Photos were taken in multiples before we helped him out and assisted in brushing the sand off of him before we all trekked over to our half-tent to pack it up and go for iced smoothies and the beachfront café a short walk down the way, the sun becoming hotter still on our skin as midday passed by.</p><p>A few hours were spent eating and drinking as conversations sparked between the seven of us about life and futures, with the topic of Ray leaving coming up again as he told us about his Twitch streams and what he was looking forward to, despite inevitably missing parts of his current job. Lindsay told us about how her and Michael were considering taking a colder vacation late next year with just the two of them, like to a couples’ spa retreat. Meg and Gavin told us they were considering finding a place together early next year because it ‘felt right’. I told them all about my sister’s wedding and my plans to attend though I was anticipating not having a date, which I didn’t say aloud. It was true though; I could hardly turn up with both Geoff and Ryan on either arm.</p><p>
  <em>Hey Mom, Hanna, family - this is Geoff Ramsey and Ryan Haywood, my boyfriends. </em>
</p><p>Yeah, right.</p><p>All of us sleepy from jet lag, we all ventured back to the hotel to change and relax. When I got back to my hotel room however, I found that Ryan was fast asleep in my bed in just boxers, the duvet having been kicked off and the pillows scattered everywhere apart from the one under his head. It looked like he’d taken a shower after me earlier on and then flopped.</p><p>Smiling, I quietly shut my room door and went to lay beside him, still wearing my now-dry bikini but covered over with a full-length beach sarong. He made a small “mhm” noise of unconscious acknowledgement as I draped an arm over him, feeling the exhaustion take over me as I slowly drifted to sleep. For the first time in a week, I didn’t have a nightmare.</p><p>***</p><p>The following evening found most of us in a bar. Ray, Tina and Ryan were off having dinner with Caiti and Jack, while Gavin, Meg, Lindsay, Michael, Geoff and I spent the evening together in a locally recommended place that served great drinks and wasn’t overly pricey, at least for the area.</p><p>As the group got slowly drunk around me, I watched as Geoff’s prior restraint for drinking went out of the window with the excuse ‘we’re on vacation’. It wasn’t as though I was there to police him or anything, but it did start to worry me how many he was putting away when he walked clumsily off in the direction of the bathrooms later on. He was not beyond reason or independence, but I knew how severe his alcohol addiction was and how quickly it could get out of control.</p><p>The others weren’t much better though, to be fair. While Gavin was so drunk he could barely walk anywhere without assistance or else walk into something, Michael was the filled-with-energy kind of drunk who needed to expend that by shouting louder. Lindsay was giggly and louder than usual too, with Meg just being the former as she laughed at herself trying to make her way to the bathroom and failing to stay upright once she stepped away from our table, leading me to have to hook an arm under hers to support her there.</p><p>Sometimes I wondered why I didn’t drink when everybody made it seem like such a good time, but the truth was I’d never been crazy about alcohol in taste. It wasn’t as though I judged anyone else for drinking or being drunk – especially my friends – except out of worry when they went too far, but I’d never really had that much of an interest in doing it myself, preferring to keep my thoughts straight and my wits about me.</p><p>Meg appeared from the bathroom stall of the ladies’ room as I waited for her, wanting to get her back to the table safely.</p><p>“Y’know, I really, really like Australia,” she babbled as I smiled at her and we sat back down with the others.</p><p>“We should thank Caiti for Australia!” Lindsay slurred, holding up her half-empty beer glass as a kind in tribute.</p><p>“I don’t think Caiti is Australia’s representative for-“ I began, but it was fruitless.</p><p>“YEAH, CAITI FOR PRESIDENT!” Michael shouted whilst lifting his glass too, before downing the beer within.</p><p>I fell about laughing at this as they all seemed to agree that Caiti was solely responsible for their great times in the pub this evening and how ‘awesome’ Australia was, which should obviously mean she should be put in charge of the entire country. Reasoning out other people’s drunken thoughts and comments was sometimes funnier to me than it should be.</p><p>I stepped up to the bar to get another ‘mocktail’ with ice before I felt the eyes of someone beside me watching me. He was probably around my age and rugged-handsome with jet black hair, hazel eyes and a confident stance as he smiled slowly at me, offering to buy me a drink. I refused politely with the explanation of ‘I don’t drink but thanks’ before turning away to return to my friends, but he didn’t seem to want to take ‘no’ for an answer. His hand was on my arm before I could register what was happening as he tugged me back to face him, to ask again with that same charming smile. Blinking at his sheer audacity I firmly informed him that I was taken, but he still wasn’t hearing it.</p><p>My mind began to whirr. This was not the rowdiest of bars, but right now my anxiety was kicking in hardcore. I hadn’t bargained on this. I didn’t want his hand on my arm and I wanted him to stop asking me to sit with him, to ‘dump my boyfriend’ and to go home with him instead. He was good-looking and charming about it, all the while trying to manipulate me into agreeing and giving in to him, which made me wonder how many women he’d done this to that had agreed.</p><p>“Why don’t you take your hand off of my girlfriend’s arm,” came a pissed-off voice from behind me as I fought to keep my anxiety under control.</p><p>Like he’d been burned, the stranger let go and gave an apologetic grin to Geoff. “Hey, sorry mate. Just thought she was cute. Let me know when he breaks up with you, yeah?” He cockily winked at me before turning back towards the bar.</p><p>For one scary moment, Geoff simply stared silently at the back of his head before obviously deciding he wasn’t worth it, mumbling, “Fuck you” in his direction before taking my hand in his and leading me back to the table. “What did he say to you?”</p><p>“He wanted to buy me a drink and take me home,” I answered truthfully, heaving a breath of relief at Geoff’s fantastic timing and taking a sip of my drink.</p><p>“If I wanted to get us kicked outta here I’d shove his fuckin’ drink up his ass,” Geoff replied crassly, finally letting go of my hand as the others glanced at us between their drunk conversations.</p><p>“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” I shrugged, wanting to placate him now that the situation was over. Many years ago, Geoff had been known to be in a couple of bar fights. “He’s just looking for confrontation.”</p><p>“Was some guy chatting you up?” Meg giggled. “Was it that guy with the black t-shirt on with black hair?”</p><p>Nodding and wishing that this conversation would die, I took another, bigger sip of my mocktail. Maybe I should have asked for alcohol in it after all and made it a normal cocktail.</p><p>“Why’d you cockblock him Geoff?” Michael chuckled, looking over to where Meg was gesturing. “She’s single and that guy’s hot, right?” He looked at me for confirmation, his eyebrows raised.</p><p>Adorably, Gavin attempted to help us out. “Maybe she just wasn’t interested in him.”</p><p>“Yeah but why not give it a go while you’re here, right? Have a fling, have some fun!” Meg encouraged me, her drunk confidence being way higher than my sober confidence, clearly.</p><p>This was uncomfortable. I was about to make an excuse of some sort to explain why Geoff had defended me from ‘that hot guy’ and why I’d said no to him but then, apparently too drunk to filter himself adequately, Geoff dropped us in it.</p><p>“She didn’t want him because he seems like a fuckin’ asshole and she’s with me.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Protective</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You’re doing touristy things in Sydney with the guys. Lindsay is awesome and understanding.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>drunk!Geoff = brief loss of judgement. No harm comes to reader or any main characters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“<em>’She’s with me’</em>? What does that even mean?” asked Michael, sounding bewildered. “She’s not with you man, you’re drunk. She’s not with anyone, right? Or <em>are</em> you with someone else?” He looked at me then, smiling and trying to work this out, clearly intent on getting to the bottom of it for some reason. I’d never pegged Michael for caring about my love life and perhaps it was the alcohol, but once he bit on to something he was like a dog with a bone – he wasn’t letting go.</p><p>Geoff glanced at me apologetically and I had to think fast as Lindsay raised an eyebrow at me.</p><p>“I’m not single,” I replied tactfully, hoping that Gavin was going to keep his mouth shut. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>“Why, do we know them?” Michael smirked, still not believing that Geoff had actually already admitted the truth by accident, which I thought was vaguely interesting because clearly he couldn’t see Geoff getting with either an employee, or me. Or both, possibly. Or maybe it was the other way around and he couldn’t picture me going for Geoff.</p><p>“Oh we know them alright,” Gavin grinned, as I threw him a dirty look that very clearly said to shut up. Lindsay sipped her beer and said nothing, but she was now aware that she wasn’t the only person that knew about my secret relationship status.</p><p>We all got up to leave the bar now that it had gotten really late and last call had been some time ago, but Michael still wasn’t willing to let the subject drop.</p><p>“Wait, do <em>you</em> know who it is?” Michael demanded of Gavin, clearly wondering why I’d told the British lad and not him. “Why does he get to know?”</p><p>“Michael, drop it,” Lindsay told him as she and Meg leaned on each other through the doorway of the bar, the six of us now out on the paved, lamp-lit street as Geoff glanced at me in resignation of the fact that this wasn’t going to go away.</p><p>There was a pause as drunk Michael seemed to register that Lindsay knew too from this statement. “You know too, don’t you? You’d never let this go unless you did, I know you too well!”</p><p>Meg giggled and shrugged, pulling on her white netted cardigan with difficulty in the cooler night air. “I don’t know. I have no idea.”</p><p>“Yeah but she hasn’t known you for <em>years,</em>” Michael whined pointedly, sounding a little hurt now as he turned to me. “Don’t you trust me or something?”</p><p>Ah shit, he was tugging on my heart strings now. Of course I trusted him, the big idiot. I hadn’t intentionally not told him, but the terrible coincidence was that currently of the people here, he was outnumbered for people that knew and people that didn’t which was making him feel like I’d singled him out.</p><p>“I do, you’re not the only person who doesn’t know,” I replied as we walked, but I then suddenly became aware that I’d left my hoodie on the back of my chair in the bar. With a groan, I explained and returned back to our table, retrieved it and made it back out on to the street relatively quickly. My group were only a few dozen paces away, waiting for me whilst chatting and laughing.</p><p>“Hey, you sure you don’t want to take me up on that offer?” came a voice to my right that made me jump, despite the couple of random people milling around chatting. It was this fucking douchebag again. “You don’t have to go back with that yank, you could do so much better. You’re too cute for him.”</p><p>“Will you leave me the fuck alone?” I scowled in absolute disagreement. Sure Geoff wasn’t perfect but who the hell was? Everybody has their flaws.</p><p>As if to demonstrate my thoughts, a fist flew past me suddenly as Geoff threw a left hook at the guy’s face, knocking him backwards a few steps as he reached up to clutch his cheek in utter shock.</p><p>“Ow, FUCK!” he cursed, staring at us with fury now as he backed away from us. “What the <em>fuck</em>, you’re really with <em>this guy?</em>”</p><p>“Geoff, dude, NO!” Michael shouted firmly, wrestling with him to hold him back from lunging at the stranger a second time with Gavin’s help as the random members of the public scattered, looking surprised.</p><p>“I fuckin’ told you to goddamn leave her alone,” Geoff told the stranger with such a dangerous tone that even I nearly took a step back from the situation. It wasn’t that I suddenly feared him but with alcohol in his system he could be unpredictable to say the least. Usually he was never violent while drunk, just playfully immature devolving into sleepy but clearly a spark had hit the oil this time and the fire was blazing. He hadn’t even shouted but the look in his eyes was so intensely livid that if it weren’t for the two lads restraining him, he would have been on top of the guy.</p><p>“Geoff, c’mon,” I tugged at his arm firmly. “We don’t want you getting arrested, come on.”</p><p>This seemed to bring him back down to earth as he shook his head at the stranger and we turned to walk away.</p><p>Meg, Gavin and Lindsay were uncharacteristically quiet as we entered the hotel lobby, but Michael piped up right when we all got into the elevator.</p><p>“That was true before, wasn’t it? What you said about being with [Y/N]? And Gavin knew because he lives with you?”</p><p>Geoff, with his hands tucked into his grey hoodie pockets as he stared straight ahead at the double doors blankly with his jaw set, merely nodded. I pressed the button for our floor as I leaned against the wall of the elevator, closing my eyes for a few seconds before the bell ‘dinged’ and the doors slid open.</p><p>The others stumbled off with a meek ‘goodnight’ but rather than go in the direction of my room, I followed Geoff into his. He didn’t seem too surprised by this as he walked across to his bed and fell on to it fully-clothed, staring up at the ceiling and looking weary now.</p><p>“What the hell were you thinking?” I demanded, folding my arms to better portray my irritation at the way he’d just acted on my behalf.</p><p>“I don’t fuckin’ know. It just fuckin’ bugged me that he wouldn’t give up,” Geoff sighed. The fresh air and flash of violence seemed to have sobered him up very slightly. “I didn’t want you getting hurt.”</p><p>“Yeah, but he wasn’t a <em>murderer</em>,” I pointed out. “He was just a creepy guy trying really hard to get some. And you punched him. You can’t just punch people out, Geoff!”</p><p>“You don’t fuckin’ understand,” Geoff growled, getting to his feet surprisingly quickly and walking past me into his bathroom to run cold water on his now probably-aching fist. “I can’t let you get hurt. Ever again.”</p><p>The gravity of his words hit me like a tonne of bricks – this wasn’t about the guy. It was about me having gotten shot on his watch.</p><p>“Geoff…it wasn’t your fault…I’ve told you that,” I replied quietly, softening as I watched him fill the sink with cold water to soak his hand in. “She could have found me anywhere in the end, she was…crazy.”</p><p>“I thought you were safe with me,” Geoff said heavily, his voice cracking slightly as he stared down at his reddened knuckles in the clear water. “You could have died that night.”</p><p>Slowly, I approached him and slid my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his side as I did so. “I didn’t die, though. I’m right here.”</p><p>He hesitated, seeming to be trying to find his voice. “When I saw you in hospital, all wired up…I…I couldn’t go back. If you’d’ve died, I never would’ve fuckin’ forgiven myself.” He slid his free arm around me firmly.</p><p>“It already seems like you haven’t forgiven yourself,” I observed softly, my heart breaking as I watched him in the mirror. He was <em>crying. </em>“You need to. Can you imagine if I hadn’t been at yours that night? What if I’d still been at my own flat? There would have been nobody there to call for an ambulance, nobody there to stem the blood flow. You <em>did </em>keep me safe, you gave me the best possible chance.”</p><p>He glanced down at me then, whipping his hand out of the water and embracing me so tight I thought I might have to ask him to allow me to breathe. With my face nuzzled sideways against his chest, I squeezed him back, not caring that he’d just flicked water everywhere as he held me like he was never going to let go.</p><p>“I think I love you,” he mumbled into my hair.</p><p>Warmth filled me at his words as a smile crept on to my face. “I think I love you too.”</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>’We need to talk… x’</em>
</p><p>A text from Lindsay and to be fair, she was right. Mere days after I’d finally admitted to her that I was dating Ryan, she had then found out last night that I was dating Geoff and was probably confused and worried about the fact that I was cheating on them both, which would definitely disrupt the entire environment at work and affect our jobs.</p><p>I’d spent the night in Geoff’s hotel room bed snuggled up to him after we’d finally talked about the gunshot incident and laid our feelings out on the table, something we’d not done up until now. He’d apologised and I’d consoled him, both of us winding up feeling closer to one another than ever. This morning I’d found him gingerly applying ice to his hand that was bruising nicely, looking sheepish and perhaps slightly ashamed about his drunken attack the night before.</p><p>I met Lindsay downstairs in the dining room for breakfast, with Michael still fast asleep in their room and no sign at all of anyone else. Spreading butter on my toast, I watched as she nibbled on some plain bread with very little appetite and a slight headache after the drinking she had done last night. Neither of us had said anything more than ‘hi’ to each other yet and minutes had passed since we had sat down.</p><p>“I’m in a polyamorous relationship,” I stated abruptly as she looked up at me in surprise. “I’m with them both. They both know about each other.”</p><p>“But…but…why keep that secret? That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she replied, wide-eyed.</p><p>“No it isn’t,” I agreed. “The secretive part is more about…who it’s with. And the fact that we’re in the public eye on top of that.”</p><p>Lindsay took several gulps of her glass of water. “I won’t tell a soul if you don’t want me to, but am I the only person who knows about this?”</p><p>Sighing, I chewed some more of my scrambled eggs as I slowly worked it out aloud. “Gavin knew about Geoff from the start, but not Ryan. Then I told you about Ryan, but not Geoff. Now Michael and Meg know about Geoff but not Ryan. And…you’re the only person who knows about both of them.”</p><p>Lindsay whistled a little. “You’ve sure made it complicated, huh? At least we know they’re great guys. They’ll both treat you right, I’m sure.”</p><p>“Yeah, except when Geoff punches people who flirt with me,” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “To be fair to him though, he was worried I’d get hurt.”</p><p>“I’m not condoning what he did but…it was kind of sweet,” Lindsay shrugged as the dining room began to fill up a little more with families. “It was uncool that he punched that dude but he did it because he clearly cares about you a lot. So…is it <em>just</em> Geoff and Ryan or is there anyone else you wanna tell me about that’s involved?”</p><p>Having barely gotten used to dating two men, I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of more than that. I could hardly keep up as it was, since they’d lately taken to teaming up on me in more ways than one. I nodded in confirmation as she looked thoughtful.</p><p>“Don’t either of them get jealous when you’re with the other one?”</p><p>My mind drifted to the threesome incident in the closet on the day of the X-Ray &amp; Vav photoshoot and the way that Ryan had smirked and taken clear enjoyment over telling me to get down on my knees for Geoff in front of him. Then my mind went to the time in the office alone with Geoff after a Let’s Play of FNAF when he’d found it kind of sexy to see and find out what Ryan and I had gotten up to from my scratched abdomen.</p><p>“No,” I replied with a fair amount of certainty. “They don’t.”</p><p>“Wow.” Lindsay nibbled some more of her bread as she absorbed all of this. “That’s pretty cool. I guess even though they’re not super close as friends, they still have an understanding about it.”</p><p>After eating, I met up with Jack, Geoff and Ryan to visit one of the most highly-visited spots in Sydney. The Skytower was the second-tallest observational structure in the southern hemisphere, reaching an absolutely absurd height of around one-thousand feet. It was also a very popular tourist destination because of the three-hundred-and-sixty degree panoramic view you could get of Sydney by no other method. On the viewing deck level thick glass windows lined the circular room, allowing you to see out and down to the tiny streets below. The perspective made everything look so small that you could almost imagine that you were playing some sort of city simulation game.</p><p>“Wow, look at this, Geoff!” Jack motioned us over as he peered through the binoculars. “You can see Sydney Opera House through the buildings!”</p><p>Geoff, who had gone uncharacteristically quiet, took several nervous steps over to Jack and hung on to the binoculars like he was going to fall through the floor if he didn’t hang on tight enough while he looked through them.</p><p>“You alright there, buddy?” Jack asked him with a chuckle.</p><p>“It’s…it’s just fuckin’ high as dicks up here,” Geoff gulped a little, running a hand self-consciously through the back of his hair as he grinned sheepishly.</p><p>“I mean yeah, that’s the point,” Jack shrugged, going back to picking out landmarks with Ryan.</p><p>I stepped over to the panel glass windows near Geoff. I was unafraid of heights, but I could empathise with him about this tower – we were <em>high up</em>. Subtly because Jack’s back was turned, I stroked a hand over the small of his back comfortingly.</p><p>“For someone who was very quick to join the mile-high club, you seem to be really struggling right now,” I smirked very quietly as he rolled his eyes at me.</p><p>“That’s not the same fuckin’ thing at all. I’m beginning to think I might actually have a fear of heights. I’m glad Gavin’s not here to goddamn film this.”</p><p>I grinned. “You know if he was, we’d make him do the Skywalk for the camera.” The Skywalk was named so because you literally (in a harness attached up to a rail to the side of you) walked around the outside circumference of the tower on part metal-grated ledge and part glass tiles, like an absolute daredevil. You could see everything below you this way too, which for people not afraid of heights looking for a thrill, was amazing. You were suited up by professionals beforehand and briefed about the ‘proper procedures’ apparently, but it was still an extremely brave thing to experience all the same. It was also probably something you’d want to do <em>before </em>you ate and not after.</p><p>“Ryan or Michael would probably do it with him,” Geoff shook his head. “I dunno about Jack. I fuckin’ wouldn’t.”</p><p>“I might…” I paused, considering it. “…if Gav or Ry did it too. I wouldn’t go with a bunch of strangers.”</p><p>“I think I just saw a bird fly into a building,” commented Ryan from nearby us as he gazed through a different set of binoculars.</p><p>“Really?” Jack laughed, before getting distracted again. “Oh wow, the gardens and parks below look so pretty from up here…and there’s St. Mary’s Cathedral…”</p><p>I was up here less for the specifics of landmarks and more for the general view as I gazed out of the windows in awe and leaned to use a telescope and binoculars a few times apiece. The sun was just beginning to set, casting a beautiful glow across the tops of the buildings and staining the sky with violent pink hues.</p><p>This prompted us to realise that our dinner plans with Caiti and the others were fast approaching as we’d all agreed to meet at a restaurant that she had recommended heavily, so we descended in the elevators as Geoff let out a breath of relief to be back on ‘solid ground’ when we stepped back outside near the huge shopping mall that was situated at the base.</p><p>“Don’t make me go back up there ever again, okay?” Geoff chuckled a little shakily as Ryan glanced at him, amused.</p><p>“Hey, you did pretty well,” Jack responded encouragingly. “You didn’t just curl up in a ball on the floor.”</p><p>Ryan laughed. “I feel like we know some people who would have done that. Meg for one; she’s bad on <em>ladders.</em>”</p><p>“Aww, is she?” I inquired sympathetically. “Jeremy’s not great with heights either, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s why he didn’t grow any taller than five-foot-four,” Geoff sassily commented as we all howled.</p><p>***</p><p>Stepping out on to the hotel landing where Geoff was patiently waiting for me in a smart white shirt and dark evening suit, he smiled at my choice of black strapless pencil dress that just barely reached my knees with shiny black heeled pumps as I ensured that my hotel room door was properly locked.</p><p>“You look…amazing,” he commented, making no bones about the fact that he was very clearly checking me out.</p><p>I hung my tiny sparkly square black purse over my shoulder by its thin strap as I grinned sheepishly. “You look very handsome too.” He wasn’t wearing a tie or bow tie, but instead had unbuttoned once at the top of his shirt near his neck.</p><p>I fidgeted in my shoes on the spot a little having not worn heels in literally months, as Ryan appeared from his room some way down the corridor and joined us whilst fastening his black tie with both hands and looking very suave in a similar suit.</p><p>“Nice dress,” he smirked immediately upon seeing me before stepping a little closer to examine my neck, where I had donned a thin black velvet choker. It was just loose enough that he manged to gently tuck a single finger under it, very lightly tugging it. “I like this, too.”</p><p>“You do?” I inquired, my voice a little higher than usual as I realised what he was probably implying while Geoff chuckled.</p><p>“Is that a real question?” he asked lightly as he let go and we headed for the elevator. “You look hot as fuck.”</p><p>My cheeks flushed as Geoff nodded in agreement and the three of us stepped into the elevator. There was a slight pause as I hit the ground floor button and the doors smoothly slid shut.</p><p>“So we’re all agreed that we’re getting you out of that as soon as we get back to the hotel later, right?” Geoff smiled with a wink at me as I raised my eyebrows at him with a slight giggle.</p><p>“Oh are we?” I asked, as Ryan smirked my way.</p><p>“Yes. After you,” he answered, gesturing politely for me to leave the elevator first as we reached the lobby.</p><p>Everybody had called for Ubers to make their way to the restaurant at the same time, so we soon saw some of the others climbing into cars together as we found a free one too.</p><p>We were spread across two tables due to there being so many of us, because including Caiti we had become a party of eleven smartly-dressed individuals, each of us greatly looking forward to eating some incredible food after a varied day of touristy activities. On one table sat Michael, Lindsay, Gavin, Meg, Tina and Ray and on my table sat Jack, Caiti and then Geoff and Ryan either side of me, which I was sure that they’d done on purpose once again. All I’d been aiming for was to speak to Caiti whom I’d seen barely any of so far because she wasn’t actually on vacation like the rest of us - during the day she was still working.</p><p>It really had been something to see everybody looking so smart because it so rarely happened. Geoff was perhaps the person I’d somehow seen in a suit the most over the years, with various events and work-related parties he’d attended that I’d seen pictures of, but everyone else? It was honestly a little unsettling, like we were all actually wearing our normal clothes underneath like some kind of odd magician’s trick and any minute we were going to burst out into being our casual selves at a moment’s notice. But the restaurant was so fancy that there was no way we would have been let in in what we would all normally wear. Perhaps the oddest to me were Gavin and Jack whom I’d grown so used to seeing in just t-shirts nearly daily for years, with the exceptions being Jack and Michael’s weddings.</p><p>We ordered our courses from the menus before delving into conversation about this year’s past Extra Life charity stream and how next year’s was already heavily into the planning stages by Jack and Caiti as we fondly recounted the madness that usually always occurred for the entertainment of our audience. It was just such a damn good way to raise money though, with the proceeds going directly to the Dell Children’s Medical Centre of Central Texas to help them to build new wings and buy new equipment to generally support the staff, the sick kids and also their families.</p><p>“…and I was thinking that it’s a great idea to push the boundaries, whilst also keeping it safe for us all,” Jack was saying. “Each year we want to surpass the previous one…”</p><p>I nearly hit my knee on the underside of the table in surprise as I felt a hand softly graze up my right thigh, causing me to glance at Geoff as he merely smiled back at me like a picture of innocence.</p><p>“…could also have a segment where we could read terrible fanfiction again or something…” Caiti continued with a grin as I half-listened.</p><p>He was lightly stroking my thigh now, completely diverting my attention as I felt a very light tingle of heat run through me. Clearing my throat, I bit my lip and attempted to ignore it as Ryan glanced at me.</p><p>“You alright?” he asked curiously, clearly wondering why I’d gotten slightly fidgety all of a sudden.</p><p>I simply nodded and tried to tune back in to Jack and Caiti’s conversation with us about Extra Life, because I really wasn’t trying to be rude and was in fact genuinely interested.</p><p>“What wing are they wanting to build?” I inquired as Geoff’s hand slid a little higher on my thigh.</p><p>“They’ve been talking about a mental health ward,” Jack replied, smiling.</p><p>A little earlier this year, we’d managed to raise five-hundred thousand dollars for the children’s facility, with our goal next year to be almost double that. It was precisely things like that that restored my faith in humanity; the amount of kind, generous and giving people in the world surely outnumbered the number of assholes, right? I had to believe, for my own sanity, that this was true because it felt really good to truly help and actually make a difference.</p><p>The food arrived and I had genuinely never eaten truffles in any form before, but I’d ordered the wild mushroom risotto with truffle oil and holy crap it was the best rice I’d ever eaten, though nothing I regularly ate even stood up close to it in fairness so my pasta-and-ramen accustomed pallet was getting a workout. There was something about the creamy flavour mixed with the slightly earthy tones of the mushrooms that made it come together, though I shouldn’t have expected anything less at these sorts of prices. Dessert was nearly always something chocolatey for me so I picked a sort of fancy mousse while Geoff picked at a cheesecake slice and Ryan had the fudge cake.  </p><p>Overall it was easily the fanciest dinner I’d ever been to, but I seemed to be having a lot of ‘firsts’ during this vacation. The chatter in the Ubers back to the hotel was all about the food as I shared with Gavin and Meg, both of whom had had the same mousse as me for dessert and were rambling about how it was the best thing they’d ever put into their mouths.</p><p>As I split off from the others and walked down the carpeted corridor, I was fairly unsurprised to see Geoff and Ryan waiting outside my hotel room door for me and suspiciously, both of them had been in conversation right up until I had appeared.</p><p>Oh boy.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Uhhh…threesome! Hopefully I did a scenario like this justice, it required some research.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning (really, it’s just pure filth in this chapter until near the end.)</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>“Uh…hi,” I greeted them with a smile while I slid the key-card over my door’s wireless lock and entered the room. Having fallen suspiciously quiet, the two of them strolled in behind me, shutting the door as I dropped my purse on the night stand and kicked off my shoes. The arches of my feet ached and they were sending me signals of relief as I was able to flatten them back out on the floor again after hours of being in heels.</p>
<p>“We wanna talk to you.” Geoff removed his jacket and hung it on a hanger hooked over the bathroom door as Ryan laid his over the back of the chair by the desk.</p>
<p>“’Sup?” I asked, watching them.</p>
<p>“The last time we sprung a threesome on you it was great, but we didn’t really want to suddenly spring it on you this time without talking to you first,” Ryan explained tactfully as Geoff sat beside me on the bed.</p>
<p>“Right; <em>we’ve</em> had a conversation about this but you need to be included now,” Geoff nodded, placing a hand on my leg gently as butterflies fluttered about within me. “And if you’re not comfortable with any part of it, tell us.”</p>
<p>Remembering the closet incident caused a sly smile to appear on my lips, something that Ryan was quick to notice as he leaned casually against the wall opposite me and raised an eyebrow. The submission, the fact that they were <em>both </em>there, both inside me, both playing with me…even the memory was getting me hot.</p>
<p>“We don’t wanna pressure you,” Ryan told me softly, seeing my hesitation.</p>
<p>“I trust you both,” I replied honestly, whilst shrugging and glancing between them both. “Everything you guys did last time was hot. But…are you both comfortable with this?”</p>
<p>Smiling at my consideration for the two of them despite them clearly having reached a decision about this already, Geoff nodded. “We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t. Still doesn’t mean you’re gonna see us touching each other on purpose, but I’m not gonna keel over dead if I accidently brush up against Ryan.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” Ryan agreed with him, unbuttoning his shirt sleeves and rolling them up before folding his arms, still leaning against the wall. “We’ve come to the realisation that we both kind of love sharing you physically as well as in relationship terms.”</p>
<p>I bit my lip, fully aware of the heated flush that ran through me at those words as I looked between these two gorgeous men that I was somehow lucky enough to be with. “If you’re waiting for my consent then…yes. Hell yes. And by the way Geoff, putting your hand on my leg during dinner? Damn tease,” I giggled.</p>
<p>Ryan chuckled. “I wondered what was going on with you. You kept shuffling.” He stepped over to the bed and settled down on my other side.</p>
<p>“I can’t help it if you look fantastic in that dress,” Geoff replied, stroking his fingers under my chin and kissing my lips softly as I felt said dress loosen because Ryan had unzipped it all the way down my back.</p>
<p>My hands went to Geoff’s chest to unbutton his shirt until he could shrug it off, all the while he was kissing me with increasing heat as I felt Ryan slide my dress down my torso and then unhook my strapless bra before discarding it, leaving me bare on my upper half as he leaned down to suck on my nearest nipple. A small moan escaped me as my lips left Geoff’s and his hand slid up my thigh further while he smirked at me.</p>
<p>“Ryan told me what you did to him to earn back your panties the other day.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” I asked in a slightly higher-pitched voice than normal because Ryan had decided to pinch my nipple between his teeth ever-so-gently as I leaned back a little, lust shooting straight down south through me as a result.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he told me what a good girl you were for him,” Geoff continued with a knowing smile as he reached to stroke my hair through with his hand.</p>
<p>“Oh God,” was all I could reply before my eyes closed because Ryan had taken to pinching my other nipple between his fingers now at the same time that Geoff suggested that I lay back so that he could slide my dress off down my legs, which left me in just my thong.</p>
<p>“I don’t know about her being good yet,” Ryan smirked, having also discarded his shirt now. He trailed his fingers lightly up from my belly button to my throat where my velvet choker was still fastened, watching me squirm a little ticklishly. “She’s definitely a submissive little bitch though. D’you want me to fuck you?”</p>
<p>“Yes please,” I breathed, aware that Geoff had stripped off his pants and boxers too and was now laying on the bed across from me, a little propped up by pillows and the headboard as Ryan peeled off my thong.</p>
<p>“Then suck,” he replied softly whilst nodding towards my boss, whom I crawled across to without really even hesitating before taking his dick into my mouth, already feeling the intense thrill of Ryan so clearly taking dominance over me.</p>
<p>“Fuck, you really like being told what to do, don’t you?” Geoff grinned down at me as I aimed to please him.</p>
<p>All I could do was blink up at him with innocent eyes whilst making a little ‘mhm’ noise. His hand went to my hair again, stroking and encouraging as he softly moaned before his eyes glanced to somewhere over my head right as I felt Ryan’s hands slide over my hips as a prompt for me to stick out my ass, allowing him to slide right into my slick pussy. Position-wise, it was much easier to give oral to a man at this angle because I wasn’t craning my neck so much. I made a small moaning noise around Geoff’s dick which caused him to grip my hair a little as Ryan found a pace and stuck to it, clearly wanting to make this last.</p>
<p>“Your eyes are so pretty,” Geoff smirked as I smiled a little as best as I could with my mouth full. “Especially right now.”</p>
<p>“Don’t fall for her innocent looks,” Ryan told him a little breathlessly, slapping my ass so hard that I whimpered and dug my nails into Geoff’s thighs, causing him to groan as he began to apply a little force to the back of my head.</p>
<p>I really didn’t care what either of them called me or what they did to me; right now I wanted to be here in this room with them doing all of this until we all collapsed from exhaustion and even then, I was so aroused currently that I’d probably want to do it all over again.</p>
<p>As Geoff moaned again at what I was doing to him, I felt a palm stroke across my still-stinging ass and automatically tensed up, expecting another slap.</p>
<p>“Relax, or I <em>will </em>spank you again,” Ryan commanded whilst still caressing my skin. Reluctantly I did so and felt him thrust into me slightly harder in reward, as though he was reinforcing to me to do as I was told.</p>
<p>Feeling daring, I removed Geoff’s dick from my mouth and smirked up at him whilst talking to Ryan. “Maybe I <em>want</em> you to hurt me like that.”</p>
<p>It took precisely two seconds for Ryan to process this and act on it, though not in the way I had thought. He dug the fingernails of one hand into my back and scratched all of the way down it from my shoulder blade to my ass slowly as I groaned and squirmed. Geoff watched on curiously with desire in his eyes because he had never seen how much I enjoyed being hurt like this.</p>
<p>Swept up in the feeling of being dominated and belonging to the two of them, I begged Ryan to do it again and with a dark chuckle as I knowingly fuelled his slightly sexually-sadistic streak, he complied on the other side of my back. This caused me to close my eyes and groan again as his scratches left trails of blazing heat across my skin that faded as quickly as they had come.</p>
<p>“You like that?” Geoff’s voice was both breathy from my blowjob and slightly questioning at the sight of my brief pain, but there was clear lust in his voice as he came to terms with witnessing this kink. He’d known about it because he’d spanked me before himself, but seeing faint red lines appear on my back was probably a different matter.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I moaned as Ryan gently stroked his palm over where he’d scratched to soothe me whilst pulling out of me. “I really goddamn do.”</p>
<p>“Lay on your back,” Geoff smirked, watching me do so before continuing, “and shuffle to the edge of the bed, so your head hangs off the edge.”</p>
<p>“Okay?” I wasn’t sure where they were going with this.</p>
<p>“Trust us,” Ryan told me, as Geoff shoved a pillow under my lower back with my compliance to raise my hips somewhat before lifting my legs up a little and penetrating me with relative ease. “And open your mouth.”</p>
<p>Technically I was upside-down, but I soon got the idea as Ryan fed me his dick, moving slowly and not by much to begin with to allow me to acclimatise to this varied sensation while I whimpered quietly at Geoff’s actions as he began to thrust into me.</p>
<p>I could hear the hunger in his voice as Ryan spoke to me. “I hope you can taste yourself on me.”</p>
<p>Responding with a moan as I closed my eyes, he began to move more of himself in and out of my mouth as I utilised my tongue and gripped the bedsheets by my sides as something to hold on to, the thought occurring to me that I was in the perfect position for him to choke me again. He didn’t do it right away perhaps because he didn’t want to panic me, but I was pretty ready for it regardless and the thought only turned me on more.</p>
<p>“Goddamn you’re a dirty bitch,” Geoff groaned, watching this display as he fucked me.</p>
<p>The nicknames were really flowing now and I loved it. Unable to help myself, I reached for my crotch. Surprisingly, neither of them said a word about this as I pleasured myself while I felt Ryan deliberately begin to choke me with his dick, causing me to gag at first. He let me breathe before repeating it as I forced my throat and reflexes to relax while he fucked my mouth. The second time and third time I was much better at handling it, but on the fourth I started to feel a little dizzy from a slight lack of oxygen. Luckily, that was when he chose to mostly pull out and rub himself rapidly with his hand instead. With a quiet groan, he came directly into my willing mouth.</p>
<p>This propelled me far closer to orgasm than before as he pulled away, giving me time to swallow before he firmly pulled my wrist away from my clit, eliciting a whine of need from me as I squirmed and Geoff clutched my thighs in an attempt to keep me still.</p>
<p>“Not until I tell you,” Ryan smirked as I stared at him longingly. “Behave.” He took hold of my other wrist too and held them together over my head, kneeling down behind me as I lifted my head to look at Geoff pleadingly, my breathing laboured. This dynamic of me not being in control of my own orgasm was also new to him but he disregarded it pretty quickly, too wrapped up in thrusting into me with increased speed now.</p>
<p>His lips by my ear, Ryan was able to taunt me in all the right ways as I moaned and struggled against his grip of my hands. “You don’t get to come until after Geoff does.”</p>
<p>“Oh God,” I whimpered, biting my lip so hard I nearly bit through it. “Geoff, please…”</p>
<p>Ryan nibbled at my ear. “Beg him to fuck you harder.”</p>
<p>I obeyed. “Geoff…harder, please…”</p>
<p>His colourfully-tattooed arms and chest shining with his exertion, Geoff groaned and obliged, fucking me so hard I wondered for a blissful second if I could possibly orgasm this way because it felt so incredible but unfortunately for me, I didn’t quite get there as Geoff pulled out of me right before finding his release and coming instead across my breasts with the help of his own hand. With a smirk and a glint in his eye as he breathed heavily, he leaned down to pleasure me with his tongue as I longed for release too.</p>
<p>Now kissing my neck softly, Ryan was still tantalizingly teasing me with his words. “Remember who’s in charge. Don’t come yet.”</p>
<p>I moaned, arching my back as he continued to hold my wrists and Geoff did his absolute best to drive me over the edge with his licking. I was desperately trying to hold back or else presumably be punished, but it wasn’t easy and the more that Ryan talked and Geoff flicked his tongue, the more difficult it got.</p>
<p>“Ryan…please,” I begged. “<em>Please</em>…”</p>
<p>“Mhm not yet…” More kisses against the shell of my ear as he enjoyed my torment.</p>
<p>“You’re not gonna last ten more seconds,” Geoff commented cockily with a sly smile before continuing, also seeming to be gleaning gratification off of my denial.</p>
<p>I whimpered, trying, really <em>trying </em>to hold back and as Ryan had put it, <em>behave. </em></p>
<p>“She’d better,” Ryan smirked.</p>
<p>
  <em>Not yet, not yet, not yet.</em>
</p>
<p>“Guys, fucking please, <em>please</em>!” I couldn’t even focus on anything other than my current predicament, because Geoff’s hands were on my thighs, his warm mouth on my pussy, Ryan’s hot breath on my neck, his words tickling my ear and contributing to my build up…</p>
<p>Ryan paused, placing one more kiss on my neck before he said, “Okay, come for us like the little slut you are.”</p>
<p>And I swear I fucking came so hard I nearly saw stars as I let out a scream that would probably wake the dead. I’d always thought that statement was ridiculous or almost certainly a hyperbole but in that instant, I was completely helpless as my orgasm took hold of my body and I trembled through it for seconds that felt like minutes and yet it was still entirely too short.</p>
<p>“Holy fucking shit,” I panted as I took heaving breaths and watched Geoff lean back on his hunches with a sly lick of his lips. With his help, I sat up on the bed and immediately realised how badly I now needed a shower.</p>
<p>With a smirk, Ryan sat beside us and stroked my cheek with his fingers gently, his eyes on my velvet choker. “Good girl.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After a quick shower and blow-dry of my hair, the two men had already decided they were staying in my hotel room tonight which I discovered by walking back out of my bathroom and seeing them both half under the duvet of the king-sized bed. They had left a very obvious space between them for me, so I switched out the lights and clambered across the bed from the end of it and wriggled in down between them as they watched me.</p>
<p>Ryan was the first to pull me close with one arm around my abdomen as I faced away from him towards Geoff, who smiled at me and rested his arm on my waist.</p>
<p>“Mmm, your hair smells nice,” Ryan murmured, sounding more like his usual adorable self now that the dominance and lust was gone. “Like mango.”</p>
<p>I giggled a little, reaching to stroke Geoff’s arm affectionately as he closed his eyes sleepily in front of me in the dim light. I’d forgotten to draw the curtains across the balcony windowed-doors, allowing the faint glow of the half-moon to filter through into the room.</p>
<p>“You guys are amazing,” I said quietly into the relative darkness, meaning it with all my heart as I contentedly shuffled to get comfortable.</p>
<p>“Aww,” Ryan replied, squeezing me. “So are you.”</p>
<p>Geoff, who sounded like he was on the very verge of sleep, spoke up too. “I’m glad you agreed to this relationship. Back when I first talked to you about it and you were all naïve and doe-eyed.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t naïve and <em>doe-eyed</em>,” I responded defiantly, but they both started laughing in clear disagreement.</p>
<p>“Oh you were,” Ryan said, when they’d both finished. “The way you were so awkward when you were alone with me spoke volumes. I only had to look at you and you’d blush.”</p>
<p>“I’d been alone with you before and I was fine, but when you started so <em>obviously</em> flirting with me, I got kinda nervous,” I defended but with a smile as I recalled the way in which he’d informed me he knew about Geoff and I in the closet back in the old office during the thunderstorm.</p>
<p>Ryan sweetly gave me another squeeze. “You’re cute.”</p>
<p>I felt Geoff stroke my hip gently then and say something that I did not expect. “Thanks, Ryan.”</p>
<p>“Not you, goddammit,” Ryan laughed as I burst into giggles.</p>
<p>Geoff pretended to be offended. “Why not me? Am I not cute to you? But I try so hard!”</p>
<p>The sarcasm was real and it was making me giggle so much it was getting a little hard to breathe.</p>
<p>“Oh, okay, I’m sorry, you’re beautiful.” Ryan’s reply was equally as sarcastic and I was gasping for breath as he continued, sounding amused now. “I think we’ve broken her.”</p>
<p>Tears in my eyes, I shook my head. “No, I’m fine, I’m okay…” Jesus fucking Christ I loved these two.</p>
<p>There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes following this as I calmed down and thought that Geoff might have fallen asleep, but I was wrong.</p>
<p>“My hand still hurts.”</p>
<p>I sighed, but not unkindly. “Well that’s your own fault, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah I know.”</p>
<p>“What’ve you done to your hand?” Ryan inquired, sounding confused. It was at this point that I realised that he didn’t even know about the incident at the bar the other night.</p>
<p>“I punched a guy because he hit on our girl and wouldn’t leave her alone,” Geoff replied as I reached to stroke his stubbly cheek.</p>
<p>“Just…because he hit on her?” Ryan asked, sounding a little bewildered. “Why didn’t you just tell him to fuck off?”</p>
<p>“I did, the first time,” Geoff answered and I felt him smile slightly against my hand.</p>
<p>“He wouldn’t take no for an answer,” I added. “But Geoff kinda…lost it at him. I don’t condone it and I still think he’s an idiot but…thanks.”</p>
<p>Ryan chuckled and I felt him shake his head a little. “You’ve gotta stop drinking.”</p>
<p>A heavy pause floated through the air as we waited, wondering if Geoff was even going to respond to us.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Resolve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You, Geoff, Gavin and Meg visit Sea Life Sydney Aquarium and generally be tourists.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is an extremely fluffy chapter because I just got back from a weekend break IRL, which is also why this part is a little late. I’m still very much writing/working on this series though! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Look at these!<em>” </em>Gavin exclaimed excitedly as he dragged a smiling Meg through the dimly-lit section of Sydney Aquarium dedicated to rays. “It’s got a horn on its <em>face!”</em></p><p>I grinned while using my phone to snap pictures with the flash very firmly switched off. I wasn’t trying to blind the fish and the tank lights were probably adequate for some fairly good pictures amongst a lot of sub-par ones. As I neared the huge tank that Gavin was referring to, I could immediately see what he was talking about – it contained what looked to be a couple of manta ray-like creatures but they each had a long protruding toothed spoke coming out of their forehead. The species was apparently a freshwater sawfish according to the plaque and as I read the information about its habitat and habits, I was aware of Geoff appearing behind me.</p><p>“That thing is fuckin’ cool as dicks, dude!” he said enthusiastically before reading the plaque I had been reading aloud. “They hunt with their saw - which is named a ‘rostrum’ - but their eyesight is terrible. They move between freshwater and saltwater. Huh.”</p><p>It was funny, because originally Gavin and Meg had invited me along to visit the aquarium with them today but I should have known that there was no way I was going to get to come along without Geoff tagging along too. It wasn’t as though he had a particular love of fish (he just enjoyed fishing a lot because he found it highly therapeutic) but he <em>was</em> highly interested in all things nautical and sea life oriented. Aside from that, when he was passionate or excited about something he was just plain adorable.</p><p>“They can grow up to six metres in length,” I commented, still reading. “That’s pretty big for something that could probably stab you.”</p><p>“It’s definitely a good defence mechanism,” Meg nodded. “Imagine coming face-to-saw with that thing!”</p><p>We trailed leisurely into the next huge room, where there were some smaller rays called ‘sharkrays’ which had an oddly out-of-place looking ridge running down their backs like an extra fin, hence their species’ name.</p><p>“This thing looks like a manta ray and a shark shagged!” Gavin sniggered while Geoff laughed. He wasn’t exactly wrong but leave it to him to be crass in the middle of an aquarium of all places.</p><p>“This one’s come over to say hi!” Meg giggled as one surfaced in the huge central chest-high tank that was uncovered to allow you to see down into it. The brownish-grey ray had swum to the surface and was poking its ‘nose’ out of the water at us, probably hoping to be fed. Gavin was shooting the majority of the pictures, tilting his phone this way and that as he attempted to get the best possible shots with Meg pointing out sudden movements and camouflaged creatures for him to snap.</p><p>As we progressed and stopped to look at some magnificent sharks, I felt Geoff move to stand beside me, sliding his hand into mine as he did so. Upon the realisation that we didn’t have to hide our relationship in front of the other two members of our party, I smiled up at him. Here in the presence of Gavin and Meg, we could actually just be a normal couple.</p><p>“Those are some nasty teeth,” Geoff commented as a grey nurse shark drifted past us so close to the other side of the glass that we could see all of its skin details and wide staring eyes up close for a couple of seconds.</p><p>“They’re not a threat to humans though, they just eat fish apparently,” I said, reading the plaque for this specific tank. “I still wouldn’t want to be in there with them.”</p><p>“Me neither,” Geoff admitted, releasing my hand and sliding his arm instead around my waist as we walked on. “Hope the staff don’t fall in when they feed ‘em.”</p><p>I giggled, appreciating his humour and smile with a wave of affection for him sweeping over me suddenly.</p><p>“Look at the PENGUINS!” Meg squeaked, pointing at the mass of birds perched on their ice-laden rockery within their enclosure behind glass in the next room. Water surrounded them with a window to allow members of the public to peer in and see them gliding majestically underwater too. “Oh, that one is doing the ‘bread loaf’!”</p><p>The penguin in question was laying seemingly leisurely on its front on a rock, glancing around every now and then in what seemed to be a sleepy fashion. Around the top of its flipper was a black and white striped band, which colour-coded it specifically to a chart on the wall that informed you who was named what.</p><p>“That one’s name is Ramsey!” I laughed in disbelief as Gavin let out a surprised noise behind me at this discovery. “The one with the stripy band!”</p><p>“Looks like a Ramsey to me,” Geoff laughed as he raised his eyebrows. “He looks chilled as fuck.”</p><p>A mother and her child waltzed past us with the woman shooting him a dirty look at his cuss. I supressed a laugh as her eyes travelled down to his bare, inked arms and hands as he folded them across his chest, her expression somewhat turning to slight alarm as she ushered her young, staring daughter away.</p><p>“I don’t bite!” Geoff offered with a quiet laugh and without expecting a reply, quite used to this reaction from some more narrow-minded people of the world.</p><p>“You do a bit,” I smirked in response, earning myself a playful gentle push from him in retaliation.</p><p>“Only you.”</p><p>“Ugh.” Gavin stared at us before grinning sheepishly. “I’m not used to you two flirting and <em>meaning</em> it.”</p><p>“I think it’s sweet,” Meg shrugged as she adjusted her glasses, her violently purple hair looking even more incredible in the strangely-blue light of the aquarium.</p><p>“It <em>is</em> nice to see you so happy,” Gavin added, thoughtfully looking at me as he said this while I gazed back, mystified. Had I really been noticeably more elated since dating Geoff and Ryan? I definitely felt much happier, but I hadn’t really been aware that I’d been showing it.</p><p>“Was I not before?” I questioned him curiously, watching a penguin hop off of a rock and into the water.</p><p>“Not like this,” he said simply before turning to gaze through the glass at the birds again, which we learned were a subspecies of penguin named ‘Gentoo’.</p><p>“I’m happier too Gav, thanks for noticing. Prick,” Geoff joked, ruffling up the lad’s hair in a way in which he hated until he swatted him away.</p><p>The gift shop was the usual affair of us all buying overpriced merchandise. Gavin wound up with a huge stuffed shark which Meg insisted on carrying in her arms while I bought a little glass penguin figurine and a seal keyring. We then all sauntered to a nearby cafe, settling down with various iced drinks and snacks as we talked and viewed the pictures we’d taken of the marine life.</p><p>As Geoff checked his phone and Meg and Gavin cooed over the photos on his phone, I became aware of a lone child crying at the table by ours. He looked to be no older than perhaps six or seven with olive skin, chocolate brown hair and eyes to match, though they were wet with tears. With a glance around, it was abundantly clear that he didn’t seem to be with anyone. There were no concerned-looking parents or guardians, nobody who looked like him and nobody paying him any attention as he continued to quietly sob.</p><p>“Are you lost?” I asked him gently, leaning over towards his neighbouring table a little.</p><p>With slight surprise, he looked at me and slowly nodded.</p><p>“Were you with your mom?” I probed, wanting to help him now as he nodded again.</p><p>He didn’t elaborate and simply stared at Geoff now, his curious, innocent eyes travelling along Geoff’s arms in a very different way than the mother and daughter had back in the aquarium. His sobs had stopped and he looked vaguely interested.</p><p>“Guys, this kid is lost,” I stated, watching Geoff glance up at me and then sideways to the little boy. I could see him transition into concerned-parent mode before my very eyes as he noticed the boy drinking in his tattoos before starting to show them to him properly, explaining in very simple terms what they were because the boy asked ‘who had painted on him’. Gavin and Meg were now also glancing around as if to try to locate a parent but nobody seemed to be looking for him.</p><p>“What’s your name? I’m Geoff,” Geoff said softly with a kind smile.</p><p>The little boy hesitated slightly warily but then seemed to decide that he trusted us to some extent. “Marco.”</p><p>“That’s cool, I have a daughter just a little older than you, her name is Millie,” he continued. “How about we help you find your mom? Is she in here?”</p><p>Marco shook his head before pointing outside. “We were walking and I got lost. I came in here. But she didn’t come back.”</p><p>Sympathy filling me, I offered him my hand which he took and the four of us piled outside with him, all of us hawk-eyed for anyone who might look panicked in the event of their missing child. Upon realising that he still couldn’t see her out here either, the tears began to flow again.</p><p>Gavin, who was surprisingly good with children due to having lived with Millie since she was a tiny baby, squatted down next to him and smiled, his eyes flicking briefly to the boy’s Marvel socks which were poking out of the tops of his little white sneakers. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll find your mum, yeah? You’ve just gotta be brave, like Iron Man!”</p><p>Again, Marco seized crying and stared at Gavin with big, wet brown eyes. Slowly, the corners of his mouth lifted. “Iron Man <em>is </em>brave. He’s the bravest!”</p><p>“Yeah!” Gavin grinned at him. “Iron Man wouldn’t want you to get scared, he would want you to stay brave and strong, right Meg?”</p><p>Meg nodded, smiling down at them as the boy became distracted by her bright hair. “Yep!” To this kid, we must have been the most colourful set of people he’d ever seen and as she handed him a tissue that she’d dug out of her bag from a packet, he even grinned as he thanked her.</p><p>Very gradually, we walked up the packed street some way whilst scanning the area; surely Marco’s mother couldn’t have gotten that far, right? The boy’s small grip on my hand was tight as he trusted us to help him, probably knowing that talking to strangers was bad but also having had no option but to. Within minutes, we spotted a uniformed police officer trying to communicate calmly with a hysterical woman in a yellow floral summer’s dress and Marco spotted her before we had time to react.</p><p>“MAMA!” he yelled, dragging his hand away from mine and making a run for her before I could stop him. Luckily there were no roads to cross, allowing her to scoop him up in a sob and shout of relief as he ran directly into her arms with his own outstretched.</p><p>We all approached, looking sheepish as the officer glanced at us with a smile. “Looks like these folks found him for you.”</p><p>Her eyes were identical to her son’s as she looked between each of us with intense gratitude all over her face, her words accented faintly with Spanish. “Thank you so much, thank you! Where was he? I told him to stay by my side but I turned around and he was gone!”</p><p>“He was sitting in the coffee shop we were in,” Geoff pointed. “He’s a sweet kid.”</p><p>The officer had wandered off, but Marco’s mother was still so grateful to us that she was offering to give us money now. With polite refusal, we waved bye to her and Marco, who enthusiastically waved back.</p><p>“I can’t imagine how terrified she was,” I commented as we walked away.</p><p>“Yeah, it must be like realising you’ve lost your wallet but one hundred times worse,” Gavin replied seriously. “That sinking feeling that turns to panic as you search where you had them last.”</p><p>“Except your wallet doesn’t go walk-about,” Geoff pointed out, unhooking his pink-framed sunglasses from the top of his shirt and sliding them onto his face. “Millie was always pretty good when she was little, she never wandered off.”</p><p>***</p><p>The outside hotel pool was a sparkling aqua colour in the bright sun as families and couples milled around, playing and splashing or else sitting around the edge on the mostly-horizontal pool chairs beneath huge navy umbrellas, relaxing. The sounds of laughter and babble rang out pleasantly, the welcome atmosphere greeting me as I stepped out onto the large grey concreate slabs in my flip-flops.</p><p>“Do me a favour and stop it,” I said shyly to Ryan as I laid my towel on my pool chair and sat down on it.</p><p>“Stop what?” he asked in a would-be innocent voice as his light blue eyes roamed from my legs all the way up to my eyes. “I’ve never seen you in a bikini before.”</p><p>This was a strange comment considering the fact that he’d seen me intimately naked many times now, but I supposed he was referring to me wearing very little in a public place, particularly because the material of my bikini was eye-catchingly shimmery in the sun.</p><p>“Well, when in Rome,” I quoted the famous saying with a shrug as Lindsay claimed a chair beside me and handed me the bottle of sun lotion we’d brought down with us.</p><p>Ryan only smirked as he flicked the page of the book he had been reading, returning his focus to it without saying another word as I spread sun cream on my arms.</p><p>Michael, Ray, Tina, Gavin, Geoff, Meg and Jack had some kind of water volleyball tournament going on in the pool as they splashed and bickered about who was on what team and where exactly the imaginary net was as the blow-up colourful ball bobbed around them on the surface of the water. As I watched them I thoroughly relaxed, feeling content at just being here with my friends while I lay on the pool chair and allowed my eyes to close.</p><p>Ah, this was the life.</p><p>“HEY! You guys should come in!” Tina yelled over at us.</p><p>“Maybe in a little while,” Lindsay replied from my left, doing the same thing as me and merely laying leisurely on her pool chair with no real intention to do much of anything that required any effort, but I soon felt a small amount of water flick over my abdomen as a taunt from the guys in the pool.</p><p>“Come on, don’t be boring like Ryan!” Geoff laughed, swimming to the poolside nearest to us and grinning, his wet dark hair glinting in the sun.</p><p>Ryan raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Not wanting in makes me boring now? <em>Sure.</em>”</p><p>“I don’t wanna,” I added, genuinely just wanting to lay half-in the warm sun.</p><p>“We need one more person for volleyball though, we’ve got one less person on our team!” Michael complained. “Come on, <em>one</em> of you get in!”</p><p>With a mischievous smile aimed my way, Ryan gestured towards the pool. “After you.”</p><p>“Oh no,” I shook my head firmly as he stood up, placing his book down on his chair, “after you.”</p><p>With a sudden spark of playfulness, I stood up too and edged closer to him, fully intending to push him in as we both drifted nearer to the pool in a stare down.</p><p>“Ladies first,” Ryan replied lightly.</p><p>“You can’t make me,” I answered stubbornly, sidestepping to position myself better, but he observed this and countered it.</p><p>“I can and I will,” he laughed right before suddenly grabbing my waist and sending us both barrelling into the cold water that washed over me like icy shock as we sank down into the pool. He released me as we both surfaced, with me fighting to get my long hair out of my eyes while he ran a hand back through his own with a grin while the others cheered at us both for joining them.</p><p>“Fuck you!” I splashed him with water, causing him to splash me back, harder. “Goddammit!”</p><p>“Awww, did you not want to get wet?” he teased with a sparkle in his eye whilst swimming over to the floating ball and seizing it.</p><p>“No!” I laughed as the others chuckled. “And I want revenge for that!”</p><p>“I’m not playing, it’ll unbalance the teams again,” Ryan shrugged as Meg paddled over to him to retrieve the ball.</p><p>“Looks like I’m with you guys!” I smiled brightly as I joined Jack, Geoff and Michael a little way away.</p><p>“We just need to get Lindsay in now,” Jack grinned as we glanced over at her sunning herself.</p><p>“Don’t bother her, she didn’t sleep well last night,” Michael replied, before yelling over at Ryan who was holding the ball up over Meg’s head playfully as she tried to grab it, which at five-foot-two was not working out well for her. “Are you gonna serve or what?”</p><p>Finally dropping the ball, Ryan swam to the side of the pool to act as somewhat of a ref for the game while Meg whacked the ball our way and Michael lunged to bat it back at her. Our game went on for a while with both sides scoring several times but after we’d played ‘first team to ten’, Jack, Geoff, Michael and I conceded defeat against Meg, Gavin, Tina and Ray, meaning that we had to buy them drinks. We dried off and headed inside, the cocktails and beer beginning to flow as we sat around in our dry clothes after changing.</p><p>Happy with his diet coke, Ryan sat beside Meg as they engaged in conversation about cosplaying while Gavin plonked himself down next to me and Geoff. We’d taken over the sofas in the lounge bar, the sun flooding through the windows and lighting up the room around us. A breeze from the pool area drifted through the open glass doors nearby.</p><p>“What’ve you got, Geoff?” I asked, stirring the ice around in my mock mojito.</p><p>“Coke,” he answered me before taking a sip.</p><p>“Coke and what?” Gavin inquired. “I got a Coke and whiskey. It’s good.”</p><p>“Just Coke.”</p><p>I glanced sideways to see the honesty on his face as he gazed steadily back at us, having ordered absolutely no alcohol in a bar for the first time in a very, very long time. In fact, I wasn’t sure he’d ever gone a day that I’d been aware of without at least a small drink, usually a mixer. Even on the days where he’d recently been trying to cut back drastically, he’d still ended up caving and consuming more than he probably would have done before he’d deprived himself.</p><p>“Are you not drinking now?” Gavin asked, his jaw dropping a little as Jack overheard this and looked over.</p><p>“No. I’m going cold-turkey. I’m sick of it making everything suck,” Geoff replied with sincerity and I knew he was thinking about the punching incident. “I’m shit at moderation too, I’ve tried that.”</p><p>“Good for you, dude,” Jack nodded in approval.</p><p>“Is it inappropriate to say ‘I’ll drink to that’?” Michael asked with a laugh as everyone grinned in amusement. “Because I will!”</p><p>I smiled but I knew that despite the jokes, Geoff had their unconditional support. It was going to be extremely tough though – his body was so used to the drinking that he was surely going to suffer with withdrawal symptoms but the more I watched him converse with Lindsay and Jack, the more I realised that I wanted to be there for him through that, to help him so that he could be happier and healthier at the end of what was going to probably be a very long road.</p><p>That was what you did for someone you loved, right?</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Meg and Gavin are adorable together. Something’s up with your sister, Hanna. Geoff is determined to stick to his guns of quitting drinking but knows it won’t be easy.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Old habits sure died hard and despite us being in somewhere as beautiful as Sydney in Australia, there was some downtime to be had at times leading to me currently spending time in Ray’s hotel room during the early morning of the final day, the both of us playing ‘Pokémon X’ together. Meg was sitting at the room’s desk on her Macbook Air, her legs crossed beneath her in the swizzle chair while I lounged on the bed with my 3DS. The double balcony doors had been left open, allowing an already-warm breeze to sweep through the room as we all relaxed in skirts, shorts and t-shirts, the clock barely reading eight in the AM.</p><p>Meg’s phone bleeped and she scooped it up off of the desk to read it while I hit an attack command on my 3DS’ touch screen during my battle with Ray, which he was definitely winning.  To my right there was a tap on the hotel room door which he stood up to answer to Gavin who bounded in with a grin, clutching a carrier bag.</p><p>“Hey Gav!” I smiled at him before catching sight of the cringy shirt he was wearing – it was navy with a cartoon kangaroo on the front wearing a suit and sunglasses along with the words ‘Most Handsome ‘Roo’ above it and as he pulled another t-shirt that he’d clearly just bought and held it up, I couldn’t help laughing. It was obviously the counterpart to his except this one had a kangaroo wearing a hot pink bikini on it and the words ‘Most Gorgeous ‘Roo’ instead.</p><p>“I dare you to wear this for a day,” he grinned at Meg, who laughed and grabbed it, immediately pulling it on over her tank top like the great sport she was.</p><p>“Deal!” Meg flicked her hair out from under the back of the collar and then straightened the incredibly corny shirt down around the waistband of her skirt, still giggling. “Am I hot yet?”</p><p>“Hold still you two.” Ray pointed his phone at the pair of them to snap a picture and probably post it on to Twitter.</p><p>“What would a vacation be without cheesy t-shirts?” I joked, noticing that Meg’s phone had begun to blow up with messages all of a sudden as it rattled to life on the wooden desk. She reached to grab it with a raise of an eyebrow, scanning the screen as Gavin crumpled up the now-empty carrier bag noisily.</p><p>“I have a video message,” Meg stated slowly, “from the guys who make that TV show, ‘Catfish’.”</p><p>I’d previously seen some episodes of the MTV show that aimed to help people discover and come to terms with people lying to them about their online identities, so I was fairly familiar with it and I knew that Gavin had also seen some of it too. Ray however, looked lost.</p><p>“Who’ve you been pretending to be online?” Gavin joked with an amused smile while she shrugged, a little wide-eyed as she pressed ‘play’ on the video message while we all gathered around her to see it too. It was a short clip from the show’s presenters Nev Schulman and Max Joseph, who waved a cheery greeting before introducing themselves and requesting a video chat with her.</p><p>A couple of minutes later after she had messaged them her Skype handle, her Macbook Air begun to ring with its chirpy alert. Sitting back down in front of it with us gathered around her curiously but out of camera shot, she hit ‘answer’ right as Tina walked out of the room’s en-suite bathroom in t-shirt and shorts, towel-drying her dark hair after showering.</p><p>Predictably, Nev and Max were sitting on the other end of the call smiling and saying hi, with the latter of the two holding a small camera that he was pointing at their screen in order to record Meg and her side of the conversation.</p><p>“Megan, right?” the darker-haired of the two men asked, to her nod of confirmation. “We’re making an episode right now for the MTV show ‘Catfish’. The reason we’re contacting you is because we’ve got this guy Jared who is dating someone who looks a <em>lot </em>like you.”</p><p>This wasn’t the first time that Meg had had this happen to her although being involved in a TV show was probably a new experience. As an attractive internet personality, cosplayer and glamour model to boot, she had come across people using her photos and pretending to be her before and as she explained this to them, she admitted she never really ever ‘got used to it’ and still found it intensely weird when she did discover these profiles in question. I imagined it was probably pretty uncomfortable, having someone parade your face and body around accompanied by sending messages you knew nothing about.</p><p>“They’ve got some of your underwear and dress-up shots under the name of ‘Roxy’ and they’ve been leading Jared along for a year and a half,” Max added when she was done speaking, before holding up his phone with a photo of this guy. He looked to be about mid-twenties and was kind of cute in a boyband sort of way with floppy light brown hair and some stubble, but he was a total stranger to me. “Do you recognise him?”</p><p>“I don’t at all,” Meg replied, her voice filled with sympathy. “I’m really sorry for him though.”</p><p>After saying their thanks and goodbyes, the men ended the call and Meg turned slowly in her chair to look at all of us. Even Tina, who had walked in halfway through this was hovering with confusion and intrigue on her face, her wet hair dripping down her front a little as she forgot about the towel she was holding.</p><p>“Does that happen a lot?” Ray asked.</p><p>“Every now and then I’ll stumble across a profile online,” Meg shrugged. “It sucks more for the victims though. I wonder what the person using my pictures really looks like. Like, why would somebody do that when eventually they’re going to be outed?”</p><p>Gavin shifted a little, looking a little mystified. “No idea. I mean, you’re sexy so I guess they want to pretend to look like you because of that?”</p><p>Meg playfully hit Gavin’s arm with no real conviction. “Well, we both look sexy in these shirts, I mean <em>come on!</em>”</p><p>“This is the exact reason I’ve never gotten into internet dating.” I sighed, looking back down at my 3DS’ dual screens.</p><p>“Aw but you’ve got Geoff now anyway,” Meg replied without thinking. She didn’t even realise her mistake until I became aware of Ray staring intently at me.</p><p>“You’re dating <em>Geoff?</em>” he asked incredulously, with a slight laugh. “You both kept that quiet!”</p><p>“Oh no…” Meg mumbled as she glanced between us as I smiled sheepishly. “I thought he knew since you guys are close…I’m so sorry…”</p><p>“Hey, it’s fine,” I answered as Ray grinned. I wasn’t so afraid of our close circle of friends knowing I was dating either Geoff or Ryan anymore but I was still very nervous about anyone else discovering that I was dating both of them at once. This revelation wasn’t the big deal it had been previously providing that it remained off of the internet and within our close circle.</p><p>No more was said about it as the clock hit half-past eight, prompting us all to trail down to the lobby where we were supposed to be meeting up with the others to visit the Opera House followed by the parks nearby, leading to a very busy day with a lot more walking again. With comfort as my primary aim, I had on sneakers paired with my denim short shorts and a grey t-shirt, my hair up in a ponytail and sunglasses perched on the bridge of my nose.</p><p>“What in the hell are you two wearing?” Ryan asked with his fingers in a small bag of candies as he looked from Gavin to Meg and back again while they threw an arm over one another’s shoulders, standing proudly in their matching couple shirts like the adorable dorks they were.</p><p>“Do you like them? I could get you one!” Gavin taunted him. “But you don’t have anyone to wear the matching one, aww…”</p><p>For a second Ryan merely smiled as though amused before then taking another candy out of the bag and throwing it directly at Gavin, hitting him square in the chest. “I could just ask your mom to wear the matching one,” he quipped.</p><p>“Ooooh, ouch,” Geoff grinned, opening the car door of the nearest taxi that had turned up to take us across the city.</p><p>“Don’t talk about my mum,” Gavin pouted as he cringed in reaction to being hit but he was clearly trying not to laugh at the same time.</p><p>“Hm, you’re right,” Ryan continued, clearly enjoying making Gavin uncomfortable, as always. “Your mother and I should’ve waited for a better time to tell you that we’re banging.”</p><p>“<em>Ryan!</em>” Meg gasped with clear amusement as Gavin’s mouth dropped open into an ‘O’ shape with surprise. I snorted with laughter and climbed into the back of the taxi with Geoff and Jack and gently slammed the door shut, watching the others do the same with the other cars parked up ready.</p><p>Sydney Harbour Bridge was in full view beyond the Opera House and as we sat on the neat grass in the shade of some trees, the ten of us gazed out over the huge bay early afternoon, all of us absolutely exhausted already from the trekking no matter how worth it. We’d grabbed some sandwiches and snacks to picnic with so those were hungrily consumed as we regained some energy and admired the incredible view across the water.</p><p>Sitting cross-legged on the dry shadowy ground with the others, I felt my phone buzz to life and fished it out of my bag to see that it was my sister, Hanna. Living at almost different ends of Texas and us both being constantly busy with work, we rarely saw each other face-to-face but I always had time to pick up the phone to her.</p><p>“I…I need help.” Her voice had a slight unusual shakiness to it that wasn’t normally there and she was oddly hushed, causing a frown to tug at my previously content expression.</p><p>“Are you okay? Where are you?” I inquired curiously.</p><p>“I’m at home and Dave is out,” Hanna replied, her voice slightly strained now. She sounded odd, like she was trying not to cry. “I need to come live with you for a while. I know you’re in Australia at the moment but do you keep a spare key anywhere so I can let myself in to your flat in Austin?”</p><p>Surprise and shock washed over me; had the perfect engaged couple had a fight? They never seemed to fight – or rather, Hanna had never called me in the aftermath of one before, which I realised suddenly were two very different things. Had they actually been fighting for months and she was only just now calling me over it because she’d reached breaking point?</p><p>“Yeah of course,” I reassured her immediately. “I’ve left it with my neighbour though so knock on the flat door directly opposite - six-two-four. Mrs Klepton lives alone, but she’s really elderly and sweet. I’ll text you my address. What’s going on?”</p><p>“We’ve…I…there was an argument. A bad one,” Hanna answered, right before I heard her sniff. She was definitely crying now, if she hadn’t already been. “When are you coming home?”</p><p>Glancing at Michael and Ryan who were sitting nearest and were staring at me with inquisitive expressions upon hearing my phone conversation, I bit my lip in worry for her. “We fly back tomorrow.”</p><p>“Great, I’ve already booked my flight for early tomorrow morning across Texas. Thanks so much, Sis.” There was some rustling on Hanna’s end of the call as I watched and half-listened to Gavin and Meg tell Geoff and Jack about her video call this morning regarding her pictures being used by someone else.</p><p>“No problem,” I smiled a little, but I needed to know what was going on. “What did you guys argue about that you’re flying across state to escape? Isn’t that a little extreme?”</p><p>A heavy pause lay thick in the wake of my question and for a second, I thought the line had gone dead on us or she had hung up.</p><p>“I’ll explain everything when I’m safe at yours, I promise. It would take too long right now,” Hanna finally admitted. “I’ll see you in a few days. I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” I replied as we ended the call. Dumbstruck, I removed the phone from my ear and stared blankly at the black screen as though it would spontaneously explain what on earth was going on with my sister.</p><p>“Everything okay?” Ryan asked me as I shoved my cell back into my bag.</p><p>“My sister’s moving into my flat, she’s had a fight with her fiancée,” I told him flatly as I watched a small group of tourists walk past us to find a picnic spot of their own. “I don’t know what about yet.”</p><p>Sympathetically, Ryan tilted his head a little. “Aw, I’m sorry.”</p><p>For the rest of the day I struggled to get my mind off of Hanna’s marital problems. We were definitely close but she had plenty of friends around where she lived up in Amarillo so why the hell was she choosing to fly for hours to stay at my place when one of theirs would be far more convenient? It bugged me and that feeling wasn’t going to go away easily.</p><p>***</p><p>It happened while we were roaming the streets, shopping. A small squeal, followed by a bigger squeal and loud shushing. Meg was the first to turn around to see a group of extremely giggly teenage girls and a few guys pointing at Lindsay and Michael, who remained oblivious until Geoff pointed it out to them. A few paces ahead of them, Tina and I turned to see them converge on us all as a group, unable to stop themselves as they requested pictures. Two of them were wearing ‘RWBY’ shirts which immediately clued us in to what their hype was over.</p><p>Taken aback but flattered, Lindsay - who was the voice actress for the main character of the animated series - was happy to oblige them by standing with them for photos while Gavin played cameraman with the fans’ various cell phones. Also voice actors for the show but in fewer episodes, Michael and Ryan were dragged into the commotion too as the giggling continued.</p><p>When they’d skipped off happily after waving bye to us, Lindsay looked bemused.</p><p>“I didn’t think <em>that </em>would happen while we were here,” she admitted with a small laugh.</p><p>“It’s funny how Rooster Teeth is so varied that there’s a fanbase for each individual thing as well as a larger all-encompassing fanbase,” I commented as the others agreed. “If they had been ‘Red VS Blue’ fans, they would have been all over Geoff instead. Or ‘X-Ray &amp; Vav’ fans, Ray and Gavin. And probably still you two as well.”</p><p>“Yeah, probably,” Michael nodded. “It’s kind of awesome though to travel <em>this </em>far and still have fans recognise us.”</p><p>We headed further down the street where there was a fairly large bank building situated amongst shops, the late afternoon sunshine still flooding the roads as tourists and locals alike bustled around with their shopping bags. There was a mutual feeling of enjoyment in the moment marred with sadness at the prospect of flying home tomorrow but despite this, we all headed back to the hotel via taxi cabs after some more perusing the stores and arranged to go out for one final drink.</p><p>The bar was relatively busy but we managed to crowd around a rectangular table near the corner by drawing up additional chairs while a couple of us took it in turns to go up and order for several of us at a time, ensuring that everybody was sitting with a glass. Caiti had joined us too as she perched beside Jack, her blonde hair tied up and her attire as casual as all of ours.</p><p>Different conversations broke out amongst us as we discussed the different things we’d done during our trip, but mostly I was aware of Geoff sitting down beside me. Amongst all of the noise, music and chatter around us, we could pretty much get away with saying almost anything to one another providing that nobody else was paying much attention.</p><p>When he saw my gaze slip down to his drink he simply said, “Pepsi Max” before taking a long sip and placing the glass down on the table. I had no reason not to believe him I supposed but a strange nagging feeling prompted me to check and I picked up the glass before he could stop me and took a sip myself, unable to fathom why I’d done so immediately as the pleasant taste of sweet Pepsi hit my tastebuds followed swiftly by the strong foul aftertaste of what was probably whiskey, causing me to pull a face.</p><p>“Geoff!” I <em>thunked</em> the glass back down on to the table, causing the liquid to slosh a little. “Pepsi Max <em>with </em>alcohol.”</p><p>Without any trace of shame, he stared at me with his ever-so-blue eyes. “I’ll quit when we get back to Texas. I can’t do it here, I need to throw out everything I have. You can help me do it if you want?”</p><p>His expression was earnest now, provoking me to believe him. So I agreed. “Definitely, I want to help.”</p><p>A smile tugged at his lips now as he continued to look into my eyes. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Are you going to drink tonight, then?” I asked, wondering if I was beginning to sound like his mother.</p><p>“Not much,” he replied. “I really don’t wanna miss our flight at midday.”</p><p>I grinned at the image of us all boarding the plane and looking around before one of us asked where the hell Geoff was, only to realise that he was stranded in Australia. As mean as it sounded, I was pretty sure something similar had happened before to him due to drinking the night before so I was fairly confident that he’d probably learned his lesson on that front.</p><p>Sometime later after we’d all exchanged photos (“Look at this!” Lindsay had said whilst handing me her phone, “Michael and I got to hold koala bears at the zoo!”) I noticed Ryan ordering another drink from the bartender a little way away. This would have been nothing of note if not for the fact that there were two skinny, objectively attractive women practically throwing themselves at him, one of them even having placed a hand on his arm as she battered her eyelashes up at him, her shiny silver dress barely even covering her ass and boobs.</p><p>With a wry smile, I watched him make obvious polite small talk and probably try to explain that he was taken and/or not interested. I couldn’t actually hear the conversation taking place but I knew how Ryan had an adorable habit of being quite the gentleman when it came to the way he treated women – outside of the bedroom with me, anyway. These women were clearly <em>really</em> trying though, the other now leaning over at the bar slightly in her tight black dress to give him what was surely a direct view of her cleavage.</p><p>I wasn’t the jealous type per say and a lot of that came from trust. It just hadn’t ever been in my nature to let envy swallow me up at the sight of a significant other being flirted with because I knew with such certainty that it wouldn’t go anywhere meaningful and this had been the case with me long before working for Rooster Teeth.</p><p>His cheeks slightly pink, Ryan returned to the table with his Diet Coke and sat down before hiding his face in his glass as I raised my eyebrows at him.</p><p>“That…doesn’t normally happen.” He cleared his throat.</p><p>He didn’t need to say it, but it was true. No matter how gorgeous <em>I </em>thought he was (and there were surely many others in the world who agreed) he very rarely got so brazenly hit on by women that looked like they’d walked straight off of the front cover of Vogue magazine. It wasn’t that he was shy, it was just the unfamiliarity of being flirted with by strangers that had caught him off-guard. Before me (who he’d known for several years of working at Achievement Hunter before he’d begun to truly comfortably flirt) he’d been married to his high school sweetheart with nobody before or in between, leading him to be inexperienced in the ‘art of picking up women’. Add to this that he didn’t drink and therefore never really visited bars or pubs unless he was with others that did and you had an awkward handsome dork who was too polite to be overly direct but still needed to get the point across that he wasn’t available somehow.</p><p>“You’re adorable,” I grinned at him as he raised an eyebrow with a slight smile.</p><p>“He iiiis,” Meg giggled, already drunk as she leaned into him a little. “Rye-bread doesn’t know how to flirt with girls!”</p><p>“I know how to flirt!” he defended with a laugh.</p><p>“He’s too busy being a dad,” Lindsay smiled.</p><p>“Yep, Daddy Haywood!” Meg erupted into giggles as I watched her, my hand wrapped around my cold glass of ginger beer.</p><p>“I mean…” Ryan began, but then Michael chipped in.</p><p>“Maybe he’s being ‘Daddy’ in more than one sense, maybe he has actually got a girlfriend he hasn’t told us about!” As usual, the alcohol was having a direct correlation to the level of decibels of Michael’s voice.</p><p>Geoff sniggered beside me as my first instinct was to laugh, but then I realised that I was that secret girlfriend. I wondered vaguely if either of them had any more kinks they hadn’t revealed to me yet, leading me to then wonder if <em>I </em>did also that I didn’t know about.</p><p>With a simple shrug, Ryan playfully bit back with an amused chuckle. “Hey, if you’re hinting to Lindsay in some obscure way that you want her to call you ‘Daddy’ in the bedroom, just tell her.”</p><p>Jokingly, Lindsay physically turned to her husband, almost knocking over Ray’s drink with her elbow in the process. “Yeah Michael, if you want me to do that just tell me.”</p><p>“Alright. Don’t,” Michael laughed. “Too weird for me.”</p><p>“Hey, don’t kink-shame,” Ray told him firmly, though there was a hint of humour beneath his feigned seriousness. “Tina calls me her Puerto Rican Prince all the time in bed.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I do,” Tina nodded with mock sincerity as we all fell about laughing.</p><p>Excusing myself, I made my way to the bathrooms across the room and down a short corridor, at the end of which was a fire exit door. I was nearly at the female-marked toilet door when I felt a hand on my shoulder which caused me to spin around a little more jumpily than I perhaps should have.</p><p>“Jesus, calm down!” Geoff grinned at my reaction before pushing down firmly on the horizontal bar of the fire exit door and taking my hand to pull me outside with him, letting it only close enough to be ajar rather than have it totally slam shut. There was a small courtyard with some outside seating benches and overhead warm white string lights that contrasted against the pitch black sky, but very few people were even out here.</p><p>I paused, waiting for him to say something as he continued to clutch my hand, seeming suddenly awkward.</p><p>“Are you okay?” I asked him as he ran his free hand through his hair in agitation before meeting my eyes.</p><p>“I’m fine. I just want you to know that I mean it about the drinking.”</p><p>“I know,” I nodded.</p><p>“I really am going to cut down drastically and then quit.”</p><p>“I know,” I repeated.</p><p>“I’m leaving my addiction behind in Sydney. I’m going to wean myself off it.”</p><p>“Are you trying to convince me or you?” I smiled, before realising how close to the mark I’d hit with that comment.</p><p>“Myself.” His answer was honest and the pain in his eyes was apparent as he said his next words. “I don’t want Millie to come home from school while she’s at mine and see me fuckin’ passed out on the floor or something. I want to be better for her and for me.”</p><p>In admiration, I reached to stroke the side of his stubbly face with the back of my hand without saying a word, seeing an intense vulnerability in him over this for the first time as silence drifted between us. I stood on tiptoes to kiss his lips softly, feeling him slide his arms around my waist to rest his hands on my lower back as he reciprocated.</p><p>“I’m always here for you if you need me,” I murmured a few seconds later.</p><p>With a small smile, Geoff tilted his head slightly and said something in reply that made me feel all-aflutter. “I always need you.” There was a pause as this sunk in, but then he broke into a sheepish grin. “That was cheesy as dicks, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“Kinda, but that’s okay.” I leaned into him as he held me close for a minute. He smelled faintly of sandalwood from his cologne and as I briefly closed my eyes to allow myself to relax in the moment, I felt him take a slow, deep breath.</p><p>Then we heard louder music coming from inside, accompanied by a pair of voices singing like animals were being tortured. With confused looks cast at one another, we headed back to our table to find that there was a karaoke session in full swing now and that Jack and Lindsay were on the tiny stage with grins on their drunken faces as they ruined ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ together into microphones. Jack’s deep, mostly monotonous drone accompanied by Lindsay’s higher but uneven and out-of-tune voice caused an uproar of good-natured laughter from the onlookers.</p><p>Gavin was filming I noticed, so they were putting on even more of a dramatic show with gestures while the rest of us cheered and clapped. Meg pulled at Gavin’s hand to get him to go up with her next but he shook his head a little shyly so she turned to Ryan, who had been quoted as saying that he’d do anything for a woman if there was a camera in front of him, or something to that effect. So she succeeded in dragging him onto the stage where they picked ‘Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart’ and proceeded to nail it in the worst way, with Meg able to hold a tune but only to a select few notes and Ryan showing that he was, contrary to popular belief, not good at <em>all</em> things.</p><p>Still, the important thing was that everybody was having fun and a laugh and as we all clapped for them and watched them dramatically sing to one another as though they were a committed couple taking the appropriate male/female parts of the song, I could already see the Tumblr posts flaring up in my mind’s eye about them secretly dating from people who couldn’t accept that they were simply good friends.</p><p>The evening cruised on with some members of the group getting far drunker than others. I did notice that to his credit, Geoff stopped after a few as he’d said he would and was merely tipsy. Gavin, Michael, Lindsay and Meg made no such effort though and as everyone stumbled back to the hotel I heard them all trying ironically loudly to be quiet as they found their rooms and bumbled inside.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Writer’s block is a bitch and I’ve also had work IRL. I sincerely hope this chapter doesn’t feel forced because I struggled, but I do have ideas for further chapters so hopefully I can regain my mojo :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Homebound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You're all flying home from vacation.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The alcohol the night before had definitely taken its toll on the majority of our group as I glanced over at the others, amused. I was sitting next to Ryan on the right side of the plane where the seats were in pairs, with him having the window to gaze out of as I unlocked my tablet screen to my Kindle app and got stuck into a good book. Across the aisle was Geoff who was quietly listening to an audiobook, too tired to really talk to anyone. Gavin was wearing sunglasses and looked very much asleep behind Ryan and I and was seated next to Jack, with Lindsay and Michael chatting in a pair of seats behind them. Meg, Tina and Ray were sitting as a trio in the centre seating behind Geoff, deep in conversation about upcoming projects that they were working on both in their work and personal lives.</p><p>Across the other side of the plane by the window, a man in a suit was having an obnoxiously loud conversation with the passenger next to him, leading to a few people throwing disgruntled looks his way in the otherwise relatively quiet cabin section. A well-behaved young girl of probably roughly eight years old sat in front of Ryan and I, filling in sections of a colouring book picture while her mother appeared to be listening to music with headphones on beside her. On the other side of Geoff was a very large woman who was mumbling to herself as she bit her fingernails and twitched her foot against the floor rhythmically.</p><p>“<em>Ladies and Gentlemen, we are expected to encounter some moderate turbulence shortly but it’s nothing to be alarmed about as there is no danger to the aircraft or you, as passengers,</em>” the pilot suddenly announced over loudspeaker as the seatbelt sign popped on. “<em>Please rest assured that your safety is paramount. Please make sure that you are seated and wearing your seatbelts.</em>”</p><p>As little as I’d flown in my life, my only experience of turbulence on a plane was from TV shows and movies, which often made everything way more dramatic on purpose and usually resulted in the plane then going down. I was aware that the pilot knew best and that I had no real reason to worry, but still my anxiety reared its ugly head and clenched horribly at my insides as we waited.</p><p>“You’ve gone pale, you alright?” Ryan asked me quietly.</p><p>“Yep. I’m okay. I’ll be fine.” I was digging my fingernails into the leather of the armrest as I observed the cabin crew seating themselves near the toilets in their singular seats and belting themselves in. “I- I’m not a nervous flier but…I haven’t ever-”</p><p>The plane rocked violently, cutting me off as I squeezed my eyes shut and forgot to breathe, panic rushing through me as I fought against my instincts to succumb to it. It had been so easy to unwind and forget on such a huge aeroplane that you were actually simply in a giant floating tube that if it crashed, would surely kill everybody on board. It made me feel as though suddenly, my life was in a perilous balancing act.</p><p>“Hold my hand,” Ryan told me, prying it off of the armrest between us. “And take a deep breath.”</p><p>I forced myself to do so only once as the cabin rattled and jerked again, causing the young girl in front of us to squeal a little while her mother attempted to comfort her with a plushie toy.</p><p>“Ry, I don’t like this,” I whimpered, my breathing far too shallow as my panic rose. I stuffed it back down, wanting desperately for it to be over.</p><p>“It won’t last long. Breathe slower,” he prompted, reaching up to open a small hatch overhead and pull out what looked like a tiny brown paper bag. He shook it until it was no longer flat and offered it to me. “Breathe into this. You’re hyperventilating.”</p><p>I took it and did so, feeling slightly faint as everything began to swim slightly around me while I watched the bag expand and contract in my hands. My stomach lurched unpleasantly. I felt him stroke my hair soothingly, a small welcome distraction as the plane rumbled again.</p><p>“Hey, it’ll only go on for a few minutes,” Geoff told me from across the aisle to my left as the large woman on his other side began to freak out much like I was. “I don’t like it either.”</p><p>In front of us, the little girl was now quietly coping by holding on to her stuffed unicorn for dear life, actually making me feel as though she was being braver than me at this moment in time. In an odd kind of way, I too wished I was young enough to feel as though hugging a stuffed animal would help calm me down.</p><p>My eyes closed as I tried to focus on taking actual breaths, the slight deprivation of oxygen helping to calm my nerves as I continued to breathe into the paper bag and Ryan’s hand came down from my hair to rest on my back while I leaned forward a little. He was explaining to me how turbulence was caused and the science behind it but I was really only focusing on the sound of his voice rather than his actual words.</p><p>“…so it’s very rarely dangerous,” he finished as the plane rumbled again, followed by a more unsettling and sudden shake. I felt my lap belt strain a little as I felt very briefly weightless in my seat, causing me to remove the bag from my face and grab at Ryan’s thigh as he continued to sweetly coax me through this.</p><p>Geoff meanwhile had been forced to call a member of the cabin crew over due to the nervous flier beside him who was having a full-blown panic attack. The steward pulled an oxygen mask down from the ceiling and held it to her face, asking her a myriad of questions as she nodded or shook her head in response. Considering how I was feeling, I hoped that she would feel calmer soon.</p><p>It seemed to last for an hour but in reality it was only eight minutes or so according to the cabin crew as soon as we were back into clear airstreams, the seatbelt sign having been flicked back off as people began to roam the plane again and the noise of conversation sparked back up again.</p><p>Now slightly embarrassed by how anxious I’d gotten, I sheepishly cleared my throat and leaned back in my seat properly as I moved my hand from Ryan’s leg.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Gavin asked me from his seat directly behind me. He’d stood up to lean over the top of me, so I twisted around a little to look up at him.</p><p>“I’m okay but…that sucked.” I chuckled in relief at the fact that it was over. Gavin was a very frequent flier and I imagined he’d experienced his fair share of turbulence incidents over the years too as he shrugged.</p><p>“It wasn’t that bad.”</p><p>“It was pretty bad,” I reasoned with him, despite having zero previous experience.</p><p>“Well at least you had Ryan to comfort you,” Jack teased from beside Gavin, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>Because they were unable to see the look on Ryan’s face, he was able to smirk in my direction at my immediate blush reaction from this comment.</p><p>“Yeah, I never knew you had that level of empathy,” Gavin joked. “Actually <em>comforting</em> someone.”</p><p>“Don’t get too close to him, he’ll probably put you in a hole,” Jack added to me, laughing now. “I’m convinced that’s why we haven’t seen Laurie in a long time.”</p><p>“I mean, I’d like to think I’m intelligent enough to get out of said hole if that happened,” I grinned. “I’m not a helpless animal.”</p><p>Ryan chuckled. “I suppose I’d have to tie you up then, so you couldn’t escape.”</p><p>Geoff glanced our way. “I can believe that.”</p><p>“Waaaay to make it creepy!” Gavin snorted, sitting back down his seat heavily while Jack muttered,</p><p>“Jesus Christ, dude! [Y/N], do you wanna swap seats with me?”</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m good,” I grinned.</p><p>Little did they know that his comment wasn’t so much creepy as it was flirty considering Ryan and I’s past ventures in the bedroom and my eyes met his playful ones while he continued to smirk at me.</p><p>A book and several movies later and I was tired after eating, my eyelids drooping as I slipped into a dream involving feeling too hot, being surrounded by animals in a forest and constantly trying to catch up to my sister through an incredibly leafy area with monkeys jumping from branch to branch overhead. Despite my calling out to her, she didn’t stop and held a brisk pace that I was unable to match as I stumbled over rocks and fallen branches while I tried to close the gap between us.</p><p>Twice I fell right over, my knees grazed and bleeding from the abrasive ground and my loose hair getting tangled in the fingers of branches leaning out into my path. It was also getting darker, my attempts to follow now fading as I realised I was in danger. A chimpanzee leapt from a tree and landed directly in front of me with a soft thump before screeching at me threateningly, jolting me awake in real life.</p><p>Ryan had left his seat but as I became aware that I was still on the aeroplane and that none of that had been real, it did recall the memory of my phone conversation yesterday with Hanna to the forefront of my mind briefly.</p><p>With a glance over at Geoff and then to Meg, Tina and Ray behind him, I noticed that Jack and Gavin were drawing on their sleeping faces with black pen, giving them various monocles, moustaches and other squiggly lines much to the chagrin of our fellow passengers. At first I thought this was pretty funny until it occurred to me to check my own face in the reflection of my tablet screen.</p><p>Oh yeah, they’d gotten to me too alright. Across my forehead were the words, ‘I like butts’ in big block letters along with my cheeks bearing several black pen freckles and my chin was partially covered with a drawn-on goatee. With a groan and roll of my eyes, I made my way to the toilet to wash it off whilst avoiding the eyes of anyone giving me funny looks on the short walk there.</p><p>The door was engaged but opened inwards right as I reached it, with Ryan standing there. It took him a split-second to glance over my face and laugh, before he yanked me inside too by the hand and locked the door.</p><p>“I just spent five minutes washing this shit off, you might wanna do the same.”</p><p>I grinned in the mirror at the now-more vivid depiction of what my friends found funny as I started to wash it off. Sleeping people were such an easy target and as much as I hated to admit it, I was clearly one of them, but luckily the pen was slowly coming off. If they’d used permanent marker I think I would have killed the lot of them; just the idea of walking through the airport looking like this made me cringe inside.</p><p>“What’d they do to you?” I asked, rubbing my cheeks clean of the ‘freckles’ before beginning on the lettering.</p><p>“Well I had ‘Free Edgar 2014’ written across my cheeks,” Ryan shrugged with a chuckle as he leaned against the door. “Goddamn idiots. They nearly ran out of writing space because I haven’t shaved in a couple of days.”</p><p>“Yeah, I noticed that. The stubble’s pretty sexy,” I commented honestly, cupping my hands under the faucet’s flow of water right beside him in the tiny toilet.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>I smiled at him in the mirror as he smiled back, his arms folded while I rubbed a hand across my forehead several times to shift the last of the inked letters. “Yeah, it suits you.”</p><p>“Hm…Laurie never liked it when I grew facial hair,” he remarked thoughtfully, casually referring to his ex-wife.</p><p>I shrugged a little, getting rid of the goatee now before drying my face with a paper towel. “I love it.” I turned to him as if to imply that we could leave now, but he didn’t move.</p><p>“What else do you love?”</p><p>I cocked my head with a curious smile and spoke before I could think through what I’d actually admitted. “You.”</p><p>“Aww,” he grinned, pulling me into his warm embrace. There was a long pause. “You might not remember this but when you were in the hospital, I told you that I love you and you responded that you love me too. You were kind of out of it though.”</p><p>My stomach flipped at this admission. I truly didn’t recall that because he was right, I’d been on a cocktail of prescription drugs at the time with most of my days and nights being spent sleeping which only added to my loss of memory, but I was also sure that I truly meant what I’d just said.</p><p>“D’you mean that?” I asked stupidly, my voice slightly muffled against his chest.</p><p>“Without a doubt,” he replied, still firmly holding me close as he ran a hand up my back to the side of my neck under my loose hair, gently massaging the base of my hairline near my ear with his fingers and eliciting a small noise of contentment from me at this nice feeling. “You’re stuck with me now.”</p><p>“I think I’m okay with that,” I grinned, squeezing him happily as he ran his fingers along my jawline to my chin, lifting it so I was forced to look up at him.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Sure,” I replied, wondering what he was thinking as his eyes stared what felt like into my soul.</p><p>“Are we exclusive? Aside from Geoff, obviously. I’ve assumed up until now that we are but I wanted to ask.”</p><p>“Uh…” I paused, wondering where he was going with this, exactly. “I’m not looking to date anyone else, if that’s what you mean…are you?” My breath caught in my throat a little as I realised how much I would hate it if he started seeing other people as well as me.</p><p>With slight hesitation, Ryan eyed my expression. “I was, actually. There’s this one woman-”</p><p>“What? Really?” I stepped back from him as I cut him off, staring as he cracked a smile.</p><p>“No. Not really.”</p><p>“Ryan! Goddammit!” I slapped his arm gently. “You ass.”</p><p>“Don’t hit me,” he replied with a chuckle. “Although you’ve answered my question.”</p><p>Defiantly, I did it again. “You deserved it for that comment,” I laughed, watching him raise an eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh you’re in trouble now.”</p><p>Before I could stop him, he’d pulled me back up against him and spun us around, pushing my back up against the door as I issued a small squeak of surprise. His hands either side of my shoulders and his body restricting my movement, he leaned in to kiss my lips with the sort of rough passion that I’d come to expect from him by now and also yearned for whenever I thought of him as I reciprocated.</p><p>His mouth didn’t stay on mine though and trailed instead across my cheek to my ear where he attacked my neck, his warm breath tickling and his stubble lightly scratching against my skin, causing me to moan softly in response as my hands reached to rest on his hips.</p><p>“When you’re next at my place, I’m spanking your ass properly.” He only spoke very quietly but every word sent liquid heat right through me.</p><p>My reply came only in the form of a soft whimper as I felt him resume peppering my neck with kisses before he finally pulled away and gazed at me with such a dirty smirk that I very nearly started begging for him to fuck me where I stood.</p><p>The door rattled a little against my back as someone on the other side rapped on it with their knuckles, making me jump violently. Ryan barely flinched as he watched me clutch my chest from the shock.</p><p>“We’d probably better vacate, huh?” he suggested as my eyes widened.</p><p>“But…now that person’s going to know we’ve both been in here at the same time…!”</p><p>“Do you suggest that neither of us ever leave? Are you having too much fun in here?” Ryan teased, biting his lower lip as he did so.</p><p>“No, that’s not- I mean- they’re going to think we were-“</p><p>“Fucking? Probably.”</p><p>I had no idea why this was embarrassing me so much, but I could feel my cheeks growing hot. Despite the fact that I’d done <em>plenty </em>with both Geoff and Ryan separately on the flight <em>to</em> Australia, nobody had been immediately on the other side of the door to notice us both leaving the same bathroom and we’d even staggered it so it hadn’t been so obvious. Right now upon leaving, someone was going to actively witness us both walking out together as they stood there waiting.</p><p>Mortified, I watched as Ryan reached past me and unlocked the door while I stepped reluctantly out of its way to allow it to swing open. A surprised elderly man in a grey flat cap glanced between us as I blushed and Ryan smiled pleasantly at him and wished him a ‘good day’ as we made our way back to our seats. As soon as we sat down, I burst into giggles as he grinned.</p><p>“Aw you guys washed it all off!” Jack stated from behind us, referring to the terrific penmanship.</p><p>“Yeah douchebag,” I replied sassily as Gavin flashed me his phone screen with his boyish grin.</p><p>“We’ve already taken pictures and posted them.”</p><p>“Of course you have,” Ryan rolled his eyes as he tapped on the screen in the back of the seat in front of him in order to find something to watch from the on-flight entertainment boxsets and films. “But I’m still not sitting here covered in pen for the rest of the flight.”</p><p>Gavin had climbed across Jack to work on a sleeping Geoff with a pen, while I stood up to get a better view of Ray, Tina and Meg, all of whom had various quirks and words all over their faces.</p><p>“Don’t you think we should complete the set though?” I asked Gavin tauntingly. “As soon as you fall asleep, I’m drawing on your face immediately.”</p><p>He seemed to consider this for a moment. “I just won’t go to sleep, then.”</p><p>“Ever again?” I grinned. “Wow.”</p><p>“Wait, d’you mean even when we’re off the plane?” he questioned me, his eyebrows furrowing and he briefly stopped drawing on Geoff.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” I nodded. “Even when you least expect it.”</p><p>Gavin shrugged and returned to drawing a penis across Geoff’s forehead while we watched and did absolutely nothing to stop him, because if we were going down, so was everybody. Proud of his handiwork, Gavin stood back and snapped a picture but the older man stirred as he did so, waking up and jolting a little at the sight of the lad standing over him pointing his phone in his face.</p><p>“Gavin you goddamn fuckin’ asshole, what’ve you done?” Geoff scrambled to grab at his own phone to turn on the front-facing camera. With a howl of appreciative laughter, he shook his head and glanced my way.</p><p>“We all got it too,” I nodded as if confirming his unasked question, “and yes, I am going to get revenge on him for it.”</p><p>“It was Jack’s idea!” Gavin whined, sitting back down.</p><p>“Yeah but you actually did it,” Jack pointed out with a laugh.</p><p>“Oh I’m gonna fuck him up,” Geoff promised me, referring to Gavin, but his voice was filled not with malice but with humour. “He’s gonna wish he didn’t goddamn live with me.”</p><p>“<em>Ladies and Gentlemen, we are due to descend into Dallas Fort Worth Airport in approximately fifteen minutes. Please ensure that you are wearing your seatbelts and that your tray tables are in the upright position. Thank you for flying with Qantas Airlines,” </em>the pilot announced over the loudspeaker, interrupting our conversation as the seatbelt signs flicked on.</p><p>I checked my phone to see that the local time in Texas was still around midday, which was quite frankly a total head-fuck. We’d boarded the plane in Australia on the same date as we were arriving in America and we had boarded at twelve thirty-five PM at Sydney Airport and were landing at twelve fifty-five PM in Texas, making the fifteen hour journey look like a mere half an hour.</p><p>‘<em>Got to your flat safely. Let me know when you land. x’</em></p><p>Hanna had texted me a couple of hours ago, reassuring me that she hadn’t gotten hopelessly lost and had in fact found where I lived. Once again I found my mind wondering what on earth had happened in her relationship that had prompted her to flee like she had and little did I know just how drastic things were.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Brave</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Your sister reveals what has been happening to her for years.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Trigger Warning: referral to past physical domestic/emotional abuse between two OCs.</b><br/>Just in case you're sensitive to that sort of topic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Unpacking was never something that I had historically enjoyed since it so often symbolised the end of a vacation, but right now I didn’t mind because it gave my nervous hands something to do while Hanna sat uncharacteristically quietly on my sofa, staring at my apartment wall while she sipped her green tea. She’d barely said a word since I’d returned, causing a strange and awkward silence to drift between us as I wondered if she was ever going to actually explain to me what was going on. Not wanting to rush her since she was clearly here to stay for a while, I didn’t prompt or pressure her while my own selfish curiosity burned at my insides out of genuine desire to comfort and help her.</p>
<p>Normally, my older sister was the more composed and mature of the two of us. Having had a professional office job up in north Texas and usually wearing smart-casual clothes even on her days off, she was very much the more responsible and together one out of the two of us. Her hair was nearly identical to mine - wavy dark chocolate brown, but she wore it short around her shoulders in an almost constantly-neat stylish cut. Currently she lacked her usual application of makeup though and there were faint dark circles beneath her eyes.</p>
<p>As I threw some of my clothes into the washing machine in my kitchen area and shut the door to switch it on after inserting detergent too, she finally cleared her throat and looked over at me from the couch a little distance away.</p>
<p>“Can I stay until I can find my own place here in Austin?”</p>
<p>She’d arrived with a suitcase and two bags containing everything she valued, having left behind everything else. She had also switched off her cell phone and was twiddling her silver necklace chain around her fingers while she spoke, which caused me to notice that her ring finger was empty of her engagement ring.</p>
<p>“Yeah, course,” I replied quietly. She was acting nothing like her usual upbeat, confident self. I hadn’t seen her in person in years due to the distance, but her voice over the phone was never flat or shaky. In pictures of herself online, there was never doubt or desperation in her eyes that were so like mine to look at. She had always seemed so positive.</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>She explained that they had been together for several years before he had asked her to marry him but he had been manipulating and controlling her nearly the entire time, trapping her into a position of helplessness as he slowly isolated her from her friends and family. The friends she would mention to me in passing were people that even at the time, she had not seen in months or years. She had even discovered that Dave had put a tracing app on her phone in his twisted effort to know where she was at all times. When she had confronted him about this before she had ‘known better’, as she put it, he had become physically violent towards her, overpowering her easily and knocking her unconscious for the first time of unfortunately many.</p>
<p>Only her simultaneous love and fear of him had kept her from fleeing sooner. There were moments where he would masquerade as the ‘perfect fiancée’, his touch soft and caring and his voice full of ‘I love you’s. This never lasted long.</p>
<p>She told me all of this as she unbuttoned and lowered her jeans to reveal the tops of her thighs which were scarred horribly as though burned, the skin patchy and white. That had been an incident a couple of months ago apparently, where he had poured scalding water into her lap because she had bypassed a friend’s house on her way home from work rather than come straight home to him. Suspicious and paranoid, he had become even more irrational than he usually was and turning it around was his specialty. As I stared in numb shock at her while she recounted all of this, I found out that he had <em>blamed her</em> for his violent actions that lead to her injuries, telling her that if she’d only stay away from everyone else and come straight home, he wouldn’t have had to resort that kind of torture.</p>
<p>Threats, both spoken and texted mingled with just enough affection and ‘love’ ensured that he had a permanent hold over her as the years went on. Her friends assumed from her outer mask of cheeriness that she was in a happy relationship because if the mask slipped, so would Dave’s fist against her skull. Even me as family, who had been entirely convinced that she was happy had been fooled thoroughly by this act. Never had she been able to go to the police, never had she been able to talk to anyone about this, never had she dared before now to take back control.</p>
<p>And now she was here, having taken the incredibly brave leap to <em>get out, </em>to escape and not return. She had left her job, her home, her <em>life </em>behind to start anew where she knew nobody but me. I was so lost for words that it was all that I could do to sit down beside her and wrap my arms around her as she leaned against me while still clutching her mug of tea, falling quiet once again now that her secret was out.</p>
<p>For a minute, we stayed like this until I broke the silence in a hushed, shocked voice.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I know you’re scared of him but…you could have found a way to tell me over the phone when he was out or something? I could have helped you sooner.”</p>
<p>“I really couldn’t face leaving before,” she replied, her voice cracking a little. “I’ve left everything I built up to get away from him but a couple of days ago he threatened to stab me if I didn’t quit my job to stay home where he could keep an eye on me. My job was the last freedom I had. If I was going to lose that, I had no reason to even stay in Amarillo.”</p>
<p>We said nothing further as she flicked on my TV via its remote and we watched some mindless reality shows for a while. My phone ‘dinged’ with a message but I ignored it for now, my mind buzzing with how much abuse my sister had endured over the course of years as I felt her heart beating faster than it should be for her supposed relaxed state on my sofa while she continued to lean into me. She had, before she had boarded the plane, deleted the tracing app from her phone without needing to worry about repercussions because Dave would no longer know where she was or have any way to hurt her for doing it, but it was still switched off because she was dreading the amount of messages and calls she would surely have waiting from him. Naturally, she was planning to get a new phone and number imminently.</p>
<p>My own phone begun to ring. Reluctantly, I reached into my pocket for it as Hanna shifted a little to give me room to do so.</p>
<p>“Hey, have you got a minute?” Gavin asked from the other end of the line as I greeted him.</p>
<p>“Sure, I’m just with my sister at my flat, she’s staying for a while. What’s up?”</p>
<p>A loud noise in the background of the call made me jump.</p>
<p>“Geoff started throwing away all of his alcohol, but…then he started drinking it as well to help him do it…” Gavin’s voice was a little weary, as though this had been going on for a while. “The last time I saw him like this was when he tried to quit drinking after Griffon divorced him years back.”</p>
<p>My chest constricted as I remembered back to the moment he had told our small circle in the office (which at the time had only been Ray, Michael, Gavin, Jack and I) all about how heartbroken he was that his marriage had fallen apart irreparably regardless of his best efforts. Though their divorce had been eventually mutual and they still planned to prioritise their daughter Millie, it didn’t help how much it had hurt him in the aftermath and he hadn’t been the same for months. He’d tried to quit drinking then but had instead managed to spiral into drinking more.</p>
<p>“Do you need me to come over or something?” I asked, wondering what Gavin meant by seeing him ‘like this’. There was no catalyst that cut anywhere near as deep as his marriage failing this time, but he was probably wrapped up in his promise to me and to himself to quit all the same. Added to this was probably the weight of his previous failure to quit as he’d wanted to back then.</p>
<p>“Up to you,” Gavin replied with a sigh as there was another crash. “He just seems like he could benefit from not being alone tonight.”</p>
<p>“Alone? Why, where are you going?” I asked him in surprise.</p>
<p>“I came back with Geoff to unpack, but I’m going to stay with Meg tonight,” he replied, without elaborating further.</p>
<p>Dammit. I’d been planning on going over to help him with his quitting resolve after saying hi to my sister, but now that she’d explained just how serious things had been in her life, I didn’t feel as though I could leave her alone. On the other hand, I also didn’t want to leave Geoff to go through this alone.</p>
<p>“I’ll be over in a while,” I sighed before hanging up. Guiltily, I glanced at Hanna. “Are you okay here on your own or d’you want to come over to stay at my boyfriend’s house tonight with me?”</p>
<p>A brief spark of who she used to be flared in her eyes as she sat upright. “You have a boyfriend?”</p>
<p>“Oh…uh…yeah,” I admitted sheepishly, realising that she had not been the only one with secrets. “I…actually have two.”</p>
<p>For a moment, it was like old times long ago before she had moved away from our home state and before I had moved to Austin, when we’d shared a flat together as teenagers. I remembered when we would discuss our relationships and crushes like the typical young adults we were at the time, closer to one another than ever.</p>
<p>“Two?!” she gasped, typically.</p>
<p>“I’m in a polyamorous relationship with them.” I avoided her gaze awkwardly as she gawped at me. “They both know about each other.”</p>
<p>“Unbelievable,” she said quietly, looking bewildered. “You’ve always been so…shy! You used to struggle to talk to boys! Your first boyfriend you had only knew you even liked him because you wrote him a note in class!”</p>
<p>She wasn’t wrong. I honestly had no idea how I’d struck lucky enough to end up with two amazing men without really having done anything. If they hadn’t already been my colleagues and also close friends, I wasn’t sure I ever would have been brave enough to speak to either of them outside of work, much less flirt.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I work with them,” I explained. “They hit on me first.”</p>
<p>“And you didn’t go to pieces?” Hanna asked with a small amused smile. “You blush so easily; just talking about someone you liked got you all flustered and embarrassed years ago.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you have no idea,” I replied wryly. “But I’m pretty sure I’m in love with both of them.”</p>
<p>“Wow.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Guilt prodded at me to shut up about my own amazing relationships when Hanna’s life was in bits. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Frowning, my sister brushed her hair behind her ear and took a sip of her tea. “What for? Don’t apologise for being happy. This is my chance to do the same now, right? And I wanna meet who you’re with, anyway.”</p>
<p>I smiled tentatively. This ought to be interesting.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Geoff’s kitchen countertops were a mess of bottles when we arrived that evening, most of them half and almost-empty as he emptied his wide-open cupboards everywhere, tipping the contents down the sink before chucking the glass into the trash bin where it would loudly break with a crash.</p>
<p>When he saw me, he grinned a little. “Aw hey, you came to help!”</p>
<p>Hanna folded her arms a little awkwardly as she checked him out, prompting me to introduce the two of them.</p>
<p>“Geoff, this is my sister Hanna. Hanna, this is Geoff, boyfriend one of two,” I smiled, gesturing appropriately between the two of them as I stepped over to him, hugging him in greeting. He smelled like he’d been drinking for sure but he was fairly steady on his feet and seemed to be pouring more of it into the sink than he was consuming, which I took to be a good sign. Standing in just a black t-shirt and jeans, I saw Hanna’s eyes roam over Geoff’s arms and hands as was often the case when people met him for the first time.</p>
<p>“Hey,” she smiled politely, finally looking him in the face. “What’s up?”</p>
<p>“Not much,” he shrugged, opening the lid to another bottle of whiskey and noticeably wincing as he expelled the remaining contents. “Quitting drinking.”</p>
<p>This was arguably not the greatest of first impression for him to make on my sister but there again, I figured it was better than arriving to him being passed out on the floor or something. Also, while he clearly had alcohol in his system he was taking a pretty dramatic measure to ensure he wouldn’t be tempted to get drunk at home from here on out, though only time would tell if this noble effort would be effective. Gavin had already left so I wasn’t sure how long Geoff had been by himself but I leaned a little to inspect the bin to see an impressive number of broken bottles in there.</p>
<p>Hanna and I joined him, with her taking the occasional swig from some bottles herself as she discussed the different tastes and brands with him. Not all of it was whiskey; some of it was scotch, some rum and a small amount of vodka. Still sober of course, I had absolutely no issue pouring anything away but my sister commented a couple of times wistfully about how it was ‘such a waste’, because some of this stuff was seriously expensive.</p>
<p>“I don’t care,” Geoff said resolutely.</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” Hanna shrugged, continuing like me to assist him in ridding his kitchen of alcohol and making conversation with him to get to know him better, her way of probably doing her big-sister bit.</p>
<p>We roamed the main part of the house a little to make sure that no stray bottles were hidden anywhere else, avoiding Gavin’s quarters because even if there was alcohol in there Geoff never really went over to Gavin’s part of the house anyway.</p>
<p>“I think we’re done,” I finally announced two hours later as the three of us sat down tiredly on the sofa with Geoff wrapping his arms around me, a smile on his face. Ahh, drunk cuddly Geoff – as much as I wanted him to be happy, healthy and sober, he was pretty cute in this state, although as late as it was if he fell asleep on me I wasn’t sure I was going to have the heart to move him.</p>
<p>We all discussed Australia for a while, with us showing Hanna pictures and pointing out activities we’d taken part in. I didn’t need to talk overly much because Geoff naturally rambled a lot, making up for my more quiet moments as Hanna questioned us about certain things, cooed over certain animals and gasped at the heights we’d been at. I wished that things had been different, because she would have loved to have been there with us.</p>
<p>“I’ve got a guest bedroom,” Geoff nodded across the open-plan room to the hallway. “It’s just up those stairs. You’re welcome to stay in there and have a shower or whatever.”</p>
<p>Hanna smiled and nodded as he got to his feet noticeably carefully and walked over in the direction of the downstairs bathroom, only a little wobbly. Then she leaned close to me and said quietly,</p>
<p>“He’s hot.”</p>
<p>I giggled a little. “Yep.”</p>
<p>“You always liked guys with tattoos. He’s <em>covered,</em>” she added, raising her eyebrows.</p>
<p>“I do, but Ryan doesn’t have any,” I shrugged with a smile, unable to imagine him covered in the amount of tattoos that Geoff had. Actually it was somewhat difficult to imagine him with <em>any</em> tattoos, though considering his unusually high pain tolerance the fact he lacked any was a little surprising. I supposed he just never really felt the need to get anything inked permanently on to his skin; it wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea after all. I didn’t have any, but that was only because I was a bit of baby when it came to needles.</p>
<p>“Who’s Ryan? Is that boyfriend number two?” Hanna grinned. “Is he hot too?”</p>
<p>“Yep.”</p>
<p> Hanna had several small tattoos scattered around on her body, each one its own little delicate piece of art. Most of them were animals or birds, but one was a tiny pink heart on her hip with the word ‘Mom’ above it, an ode to the woman that had single-handedly raised us.</p>
<p>I heard Geoff moving about again and got up to see where he was as Hanna bid me goodnight and climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom with her little rucksack of overnight stuff. Standing in the doorway of his bedroom, I smiled as I watched him remove his shirt and kick off his jeans, falling into bed in just boxers and pulling back the duvet for me, invitingly.</p>
<p>Hesitating, I took a deep breath and entered the room, focusing on sleepy Geoff as I removed my clothes down to my panties quickly, flicked out the light and crawled into the bed beside him, feeling somewhat reassured as he pulled me close.</p>
<p>“If I’d known I was gonna get a strip-tease, I would’ve put music on,” Geoff grinned in my ear in the pitch black.</p>
<p>“Shuddup,” I smiled slightly as I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that I was somewhere other than in this particular bedroom right now while my heartbeat increased in pace significantly. I fought to keep my breathing even as I told myself over and over that I was safe here now, but it was as though my body was operating on muscle-memory, already trying to activate ‘flight mode’.</p>
<p>“Relax,” Geoff told me quietly, sounding as though he was on the brink of sleep. He yawned, causing me to yawn too in response. “You’re all tense.”</p>
<p>I bit my lip. “I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“I can help you relax if you want,” he said sleepily. “I’ll sing some lullabies.”</p>
<p>“Don’t threaten me,” I snickered, knowing how bad of a singer he was. Not that I was one to talk.</p>
<p>“Alright, fuck you then. Go to sleep on your own,” he grinned against my neck. Despite this, his hand stroked gentle lines along my side affectionately and soothingly.</p>
<p>“Fuck you too,” I smiled even though he couldn’t see me.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>In the cold light of day, Geoff looked exhausted as he sat down at the kitchen table late morning the following day with toast while Hanna and I exchanged glances.</p>
<p>“How’re you feeling?” I asked him, my hands wrapped around a hot cup of coffee. I’d left him to sleep in a little longer on purpose.</p>
<p>“Like I want to go buy more alcohol already,” he answered with blunt honesty, running a hand back through his hair.</p>
<p>I nodded understandingly. I’d never personally felt as though I was held captive by any addiction but I could still empathise with the way that he had described it before from his point of view. It was about the way that drinking made him feel and the fact that he had relied on it as a crutch for confidence and coping with stresses and pressures over the years, leading to cutting it out being a little like cutting off a useful appendage. It was going to be extremely difficult, but he had taken the first step and that was something to be proud of.</p>
<p>“So, Hanna,” Geoff smiled at her. “Any super embarrassing secrets I should know about my girlfriend?”</p>
<p>I kicked him jokingly under the table, but she beamed and began to talk, causing me to seriously consider kicking her too.</p>
<p>“When she was eight, she thought that eating ants was good luck. And she thought that until she was about ten.”</p>
<p>I groaned and put my head into my hands while Geoff laughed. “Only because <em>you</em> told me that and I believed you!”</p>
<p>“Y’know, you’ve never really talked about your childhood,” he grinned at me, ripping the crusts off of his toast to eat them separately. “Was there anything else you ate out in the yard, or just ants?”</p>
<p>“She also-“ Hanna began again but I chose then to kick her under the table.</p>
<p>“Hanna used to make out with the back of her hand to practice kissing,” I stated as she gasped in betrayal.</p>
<p>“[Y/N] used to talk to her celebrity crushes like they were actually in the room with her,” Hanna shot back, giggling. “She’d even offer them food if she was eating, like they were real.”</p>
<p>“You had an imaginary <em>boyfriend</em> until you were about thirteen!” I laughed while Geoff howled at our sisterly cringe-fight. “I heard you saying ‘goodnight’ to him through your bedroom door sometimes!”</p>
<p>“You thought ‘sashimi’ was a brand of designer clothing for <em>years!</em>”</p>
<p>“Well you-“ I began, but Geoff held his hands up, still laughing.</p>
<p>“Stop, before you start pulling each other’s hair and rolling around on the floor,” he smirked. “Are you two always this competitive?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” we replied in unison, before cracking up laughing.</p>
<p>Hanna knew that I worked for an internet entertainment company, but now I took the opportunity to explain everything to her in much more detail as she listened with interest, with Geoff chipping in here and there. Whilst normally confident when it came to confronting people and dealing with difficult situations, she had never been the type to head for the stage and be in the spotlight as a performer, so when she admitted that there was no way she could do my job it felt a little weird to hear. I’d always thought of my sister as someone who could do everything I could and more but as professional as she could be, she preferred to sit quietly and work and had no interest in video games. Her office environment and atmosphere would have been poles apart from ours at Rooster Teeth.</p>
<p>We were due back at work tomorrow, prompting Geoff to suggest that we give her a tour of local Austin today and show her around. She responded to this idea enthusiastically and I was just happy to spend the day with the both of them, so we all climbed into his car while he drove us around for a little while.</p>
<p>“If it was warmer, I’d recommend the Peter Pan Mini Golf course,” Geoff said to my approving nod, while Hanna sat behind us in the back gazing out of the window at everything we were pointing out to her. “But November isn’t the best time to go. If you come back down here in Spring, it’ll be better.”</p>
<p>Hanna hesitated. “I’m not going back. I’m moving down here.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Geoff replied, shooting me a surprised look. “Cool, okay. What about your fiancée, is he moving down here too or is this for a job?”</p>
<p>I’d told him a couple of times about being bridesmaid to her wedding next year because of needing the time off, so he was pretty aware of my sister’s relationship. Or rather, he was as aware as I had been prior to the last few days.</p>
<p>“We’ve broken up,” she replied, meeting his eyes in the rear-view mirror. “I need to find a new job down here.”</p>
<p>“Shit, sorry,” Geoff said, pulling a face. “At least you moved somewhere way better than where you were though, you’ll love Austin.”</p>
<p>“It’s already a million times better,” Hanna nodded with a smile. “Anywhere away from my ex-fiancée is.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Quiet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan meets your sister and then stays the night.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning - from about halfway down<b></b></b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I walked into the office that morning with full intent to get back to work straight away, coffee in my hand already as I mentally prepared myself for the day’s recordings. What I did not expect to see was Michael, Ryan and Ray plastering yellow post-it notes all over every single thing that Gavin owned in the office, including but not limited to his desk, his chair, his monitor, his computer and his consoles. Pausing in the doorway with my mouth open a little, I caught the eyes of Michael who sniggered while sticking sticky notes on his controllers too.</p><p>“Fuckin’ reveeeeenge!” Ray grinned, admiring their handiwork as he stood back, videoing the entire thing. “We roped Michael in too, even though Gavin didn’t draw on his face.”</p><p>“Well to be fair, he didn’t so much get roped in as volunteer with gusto,” Ryan pointed out as Michael nodded in agreement.</p><p>“It’s true, I did. Fucking with Gavin is fun and plus, he deserves it.”</p><p>“How long has this taken you guys?” I laughed, noticing that the post-it notes were in neat-ish lines to completely obscure everything possible.</p><p>“About an hour,” Ray shrugged whilst still filming as Michael stuck the last few sticky notes on the casters of Gavin’s desk chair. Because his and Michael’s desks were pushed together end to end, there was a comically clear line where the yellow sticky note madness ended abruptly.</p><p>“Wait, wait, are we done?” Ryan asked, checking that there were literally no gaps whatsoever amongst the mass of bright yellow. “Someone take a picture.”</p><p>“Oh I’ll do it,” I smirked, pointing my phone at just the right angle to capture the maximum effect of their handywork before uploading it to Twitter with the caption, ‘Revenge is sweet, Gavin!’. I added a couple of hashtags, tagged him in it too and queued it to post in an hour so it wouldn’t spoil his ‘surprise’. Then we all sat back, waiting for everyone else to arrive at work.</p><p>It didn’t take long before Gavin and Geoff entered the room together as Ray began recording again on his phone to capture the reaction, with Geoff placing his black coffee down on his desk and Gavin stopping suddenly when he saw his own.</p><p>“What? <em>What? </em>That’s <em>so many</em> post-it notes!” he squeaked, clearly not really knowing what on earth to do.</p><p>“That is fuckin’ priceless!” Geoff laughed, using the back of his desk chair to support himself as he doubled over. “How many is that?”</p><p>“Literally hundreds of sticky notes,” Michael announced proudly as Gavin gawped, lost on whether to laugh or start to fix the situation as he dropped his bag to the floor beside his chair.</p><p>Trevor strolled in but stopped on the way, bewildered at the sudden sight of so much blinding yellow in Gavin’s corner of the room. “What the hell happened here?”</p><p>“Gavin drew on our faces on the plane while we slept,” I said plainly by way of explanation, to which Trevor made a sort of oh-okay-that-makes-sense face and disappeared into the side office.</p><p>“Why is it just my desk?” Gavin whined. “It was Jack’s bloody idea, the jeb!”</p><p>“Well we <em>were </em>going to do both of you, but yours just took so much time…” Ryan trailed off, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smirk as Ray panned his phone camera around at all of us and then back to Gavin as he dropped his bag and decided to try to remove them all one at a time, which was clearly going to take an age.</p><p>Jack nearly choked laughing when he saw the chaotic revenge of which he was very nearly also a victim of.</p><p>When the British lad had cleared his monitor and enough of his chair to play, we shot Minecraft which took far longer than we’d anticipated because we had the game crash on us twice leading to lost saves and starting anew each time. Frustrations were running high as the day progressed and we all eventually dispersed to go home having stayed later than usual, with me lagging behind alone because I genuinely took ages to pack up and leave anywhere. The thing with my backpack was that if I didn’t put my stuff in in a certain way, it wouldn’t all fit.</p><p>“Want a lift?” came a voice from the open doorway as Ryan pulled on his jacket, having reappeared.</p><p>“Sure, thanks,” I smiled, zipping up my bag and hitching it on to my shoulder. I’d thought he’d already left but here he was.</p><p>We climbed into his car, shut the doors and reached to clip in our seatbelts as he started the engine.</p><p>“How’s your sister doing?” Ryan asked casually and I remembered that he had heard some of my phone conversation in Australia where I’d told him very briefly that she was coming to stay with me because she’d broken up with her fiancée.</p><p>“She’s…going to be okay now,” I replied slowly, not really knowing how to explain what I had only just learned. “It was an abusive relationship.”</p><p>With surprise, he glanced at me as we made a turn. “Did he hurt her?”</p><p>I merely nodded, gazing out of the window at the grey skies looming overhead that threatened rain. It was only a five minute car journey to my flat, but today the stoplights were not in our favour and seemed to be red every time.</p><p>“She hid it from everyone she knew because she was so afraid of him,” I stated quietly. “He controlled every moment of her life.”</p><p>“That’s awful. He doesn’t know where she is now, right?” I noticed that his eyes had concern in them as he glanced at me again in between observing the roads.</p><p>“No, he doesn’t know where I live. She specifically told me that he’s never known that so even if he thinks she’s gone to stay with me, he won’t know where to start looking,” I said firmly, thanking all that was holy that this was true because the last thing I needed was another psychotic asshole in my life.</p><p>“Good.” We made another turn and he bit his lower lip as he straightened the steering wheel. “Men like that don’t deserve to live.”</p><p>“I agree,” I said simply. There was no excuse in the world for what Dave had put Hanna through and the sad thing about it was that there were millions out there like her of every gender being put through similar things. “I’d like him to fall down a conveniently empty elevator shaft.”</p><p>Raising his eyebrows but still with his eyes on the road, Ryan replied. “I’d rather someone just gutted him. Is she coping okay?”</p><p>“At the moment, I think so.”</p><p>We pulled up outside my apartment building. I started to climb out of the car but as I did so, something occurred to me.</p><p>“Wanna come in? We can order take-out.” I saw his hesitation and quickly added, “You don’t have to if you want to be alone tonight or something.” I understood his need for peace and quiet when he didn’t have his children visiting, regardless of how much he cared for and missed them when they weren’t there.</p><p>He paused before shrugging. “Sure, why not. I’m kind of curious; I haven’t ever met any of your family in the whole time I’ve known you.”</p><p>“To be fair, I don’t have much of it,” I said as he shut off the engine and climbed out of the car too, following me into the building and up the several flights of stairs. I unlocked my flat door to find Hanna spawled on my sofa with her laptop on her knees. When she heard me, she looked up and smiled a little before sitting up properly upon seeing Ryan behind me.</p><p>“Hanna, Ryan. Ryan, Hanna,” I grinned, watching her flip her laptop closed and sit up a little straighter at the presence of a stranger before remembering her manners.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Boyfriend Two,” she said directly with a slight laugh as I plonked my bag down in my bedroom and watched Ryan awkwardly lean against the kitchen counter with an oddly shy smile. Unlike Geoff who tended to speak a mile-a-minute with people regardless of how long he’d known them, Ryan was far more reserved with people he didn’t know.</p><p>“The better-looking of the two, I think,” Ryan replied cockily with a chuckle. “You guys look really alike.”</p><p>“We’ve been told that before,” Hanna grinned. “When we were little, people used to ask if we were twins even though we’re a few years apart. I’m older by the way and much more responsible.”</p><p>I smirked at her. “I wouldn’t say that’s exactly true. I’ve been way more responsible than you in the past.”</p><p>Ryan raised an eyebrow at me. “You bought an entirely new phone six months ago because you got a small screen crack, instead of just getting it repaired. That’s a serious Gavin Free move.”</p><p>“I wanted the newest one,” I mumbled quietly, sheepishly shrugging and knowing that he was right: I was pretty awful with money. The important things were always prioritised of course like rent, bills and food, but I tended to impulse buy silly things more than I liked to admit.</p><p>Hanna laughed triumphantly. “See!”</p><p>Opening the kitchen drawer in the search for menus, I listened amusedly as Hanna explained that she’d spent all day looking for and applying for jobs in the area. That explained why she was so perky - the potential of really feeling her freedom was setting in now and I was glad of it. I fanned out the glossy pamphlets on the counter as we all leaned over them, agreeing on one restaurant and picking out our preferred dishes. With all three of us having picked totally different things, I made the call to have it all delivered.</p><p>“So you lot really are just a bunch of nerds that play video games for a living, huh?” Hanna asked us, but she wasn’t so much criticising as she was surprised that someone could earn money doing that for a job. This was a very common reaction to our line of work.</p><p>“We sure do,” Ryan nodded as I switched on the television to put on ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’, a show in which all three of us loved but had already seen these episodes of, allowing us to chatter over it and still know what was happening. The beauty of streaming was also that we could just pause it when the food arrived, allowing us to get settled again afterwards to continue watching it.</p><p>I was seated in between the two of them with Hanna curiously poking random questions across me at Ryan to get to know him better. She hadn’t had to do this with Geoff because he would just freely ramble until literally made to shut up, meaning that you could learn a lot about him on a surface level in a very short space of time. Contrastingly, Ryan was more quiet and a little difficult to make conversation with if he didn’t know you, but Hanna was determined.</p><p>“Do you guys think you’ll like…have kids?”</p><p>I choked on my chicken while Ryan nearly spat his Diet Coke everywhere.</p><p>“No,” I spluttered as Ryan shook his head.</p><p>“Huh,” Hanna nodded, chewing on her beef. “Don’t tell Mom, she’ll have a meltdown.”</p><p>“I think she’d already have a meltdown about me being with two guys at once,” I laughed, easily able to picture her horrified reaction as Ryan chuckled. “She would <em>not</em> understand.”</p><p>“Is she the kind of woman who would be okay with each of us individually, though?” he asked curiously as he dug his fork into his spicy noodle box. “Or would she still disapprove for some other reason?”</p><p>“She’d probably be okay with you…” I hesitated. My mother was pretty strict and had freaked out at the sight of Hanna’s tiny delicate tattoos when she had first seen them, even though she was an adult. The look on her face if she saw Geoff’s beautiful trails of artwork was not worth imagining because she’d probably fall over in shock at the prospect of one of her daughters dating him. On the other hand, he could be an absolute gentleman when he tried and could usually make a good impression on people he cared to make a good impression on, so perhaps his charm could help him out there providing that he held his tongue on being a potty-mouth and maybe wore a long-sleeved shirt to start with.</p><p>“You do seem pretty polite,” Hanna said thoughtfully, eyeing Ryan. “I feel like she’d have to get to know Geoff before she saw him to like him though. Seriously, our Mom is the kind of Mom that would shout at me if I wore even an above-the-knee skirt back in the day and when I got a nose ring at aged sixteen, she grounded me for a <em>month</em> and forced me to remove it.”</p><p>“Is she religious?” Ryan inquired.</p><p>“Not really, she’s just…very conservative and judgemental,” I replied as my sister nodded. “Half of the stuff I wear sometimes wouldn’t fly if she came to visit. Short-shorts, crop tops, you name it. Too much makeup makes you ‘look like a whore’. Tattoos are ‘trashy’. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces and she raised us single-handedly and did a great job but…”</p><p>“But she wants you to find a guy, settle down and get married and then have kids,” Ryan finished for me, accurately.</p><p>“Right, but I don’t want to have kids. Or get married, really,” I shrugged. I wasn’t particularly maternal and was the exact opposite of broody, though I did get along well with Millie and had in the past played babysitter once or twice for her when needed. I’d never met Ryan’s children but with them being much younger I wouldn’t trust myself to know what to do with them to be honest - mothering was not something that came naturally to me.</p><p>“Oh God,” Hanna put her face in her hand as if in realisation. “I’ve got to tell her about Dave.”</p><p>“When you’re ready,” I said sympathetically. “I think she’ll be more worried about you than disappointed, Han.”</p><p>“I hope so. Not that I want her to be worried,” she replied quietly as Ryan said nothing and shovelled more noodles into his mouth. “Oh by the way, I bought donuts earlier. Help yourself, both of you.”</p><p>As though he was dog that had heard the word ‘walkies’, Ryan looked up at her, his eyes sparkling. “Donuts?”</p><p>“Yes…” Hanna replied simply while I started laughing. He was by no means overweight – although he had been years ago – but he was definitely a foodie with a serious sweet tooth and donuts especially were like his kryptonite. It had gotten to the point in the office where Michael had taken note of this and would subtly yet purposefully encourage this addiction by bringing in sweets every now and then and leaving them temptingly on the side for anyone to help themselves to. Ryan could never resist.</p><p>“Okay, we can definitely be friends now,” he laughed.</p><p>Hanna giggled a little and pointed her fork his way. “You are a man of fine tastes.”</p><p>I could tell that the atmosphere was adjusting to become a lot more relaxed as the two of them got used to one another, the three of us finishing our food before tucking into the glazed ring donuts and putting on a film to watch before eventually deciding that we should all get some sleep as the hour ticked closer to midnight. Ryan hadn’t planned on staying over but with one puppy-eyed look at him from me, he quickly caved.</p><p>“It’s late anyway, my place is like forty minutes from here,” he shrugged as I climbed into bed. I’d dug out a spare, brand new toothbrush for him to use and once he was done, he shut my bedroom door to give Hanna her privacy in the living room on my sofa and joined me. “Shame we’re not alone.”</p><p>“Mhm,” I replied as my eyes adjusted in the relative darkness of my bedroom as he reached to stroke my hair out of my face gently.</p><p>“You’re too noisy for us to do anything tonight,” he continued, causing me to protest.</p><p>“I can be quiet!”</p><p>“I doubt that.” There was a smile in his voice even if I couldn’t clearly see his expression. “Your sister would think I was murdering you if you started screaming like you have in the past.”</p><p>Blushing a little, I pouted as his hand trailed lightly down my neck to my exposed shoulder above the duvet. “I could definitely deliberately not make any noise. Plus, she’s a really deep sleeper.”</p><p>“So you’re telling me that you were making all of that noise on purpose before?” Ryan teased.</p><p>Feeling a little backed into a corner, I huffed playfully. “Okay fine, it was involuntary. But I still maintain that I could keep quiet if I had to.”</p><p>“I doubt that when you’re so <em>easy </em>to make moan,” Ryan murmured, leaning over me and meeting my lips with his as he kissed me softly whilst pushing the duvet down far enough to expose all of my upper body above my panty line. His hand slid between my thighs in one smooth motion, his fingers rubbing gently over the cotton and eliciting a small whine of pleasure from me in response as he brushed my clit repeatedly. What a cocky little shit.</p><p>“Oh goddammit.” I squirmed slightly as he continued to kiss me, nipping my lower lip and drawing away just enough to make me lean up to meet him again needily, causing me to crave him more with every passing second.</p><p>“Want something?” He taunted, surely smirking now because he knew the answer.</p><p>“Yes, you,” I replied a little breathlessly as I closed my eyes. They soon flashed back open again though as he shifted down a little to take my nipple into his mouth a little, flicking it with his tongue and causing fire to fill me as I moaned again before remembering to stifle it.</p><p>“This is going to be difficult for you, isn’t it?” he whispered, moving over to my other nipple as I gasped at the stimulation.</p><p>“Only because you’re being an ass,” I replied facetiously, running a hand through his soft hair.</p><p>Biting very lightly on my nipple in response to this cheeky remark and making me squeak, he lifted his head to talk again. My eyes had adjusted to the dark enough to see that his mouth was curved into a smile. “I could be far more cruel than this and you know it. Keep calling me names and see what happens.”</p><p>What a tempting proposition. The thrill of his hold on me zapped through my body as I thought it over for a few seconds. He was basically daring me to push it and I wanted him too badly to back down at this point. The real question currently was did I trust myself?</p><p>He dug his nails into my abdomen, bringing me sharply back to reality with another groan at the pain that only served to drive a wave of pleasure towards my crotch in its wake.</p><p>“You dick,” I hissed, my mind made up.</p><p>Slowly dragging his fingers down my skin, he chuckled. “You masochist.”</p><p>It felt like trails of fire and I loved it, writhing a little as I struggled to keep quiet while he did it a second time.</p><p>From the other room I heard Hanna snore a little, an indication that she was already asleep. It was then that Ryan sat up and pulled the duvet back off of me completely before tugging down my panties and discarding them. Now on top of me, he kissed me once again far more passionately, raking his nails down my side a couple more times as I whimpered against his lips.</p><p>My tightness caused him to groan quietly as he took it slow, but I was plenty wet enough from the scratching and the threat of needing to be quiet or risk being caught looming over us which was as usual turning me on even more. He soon started to move a little faster once I was comfortable and I gripped his sides, tilting my head back into the pillow and trying desperately not to moan like I usually would as he clutched my raised thighs.</p><p>As he leaned down and placed his lips by my ear, he took to whispering between his heavy breathing. “Don’t make me tie you up,” he threatened, feeling my hand snake down between us.</p><p>I paused, my hand on my stomach and almost at my crotch. “With what?” I asked, daringly. That special soft black bondage rope he had at his place wasn’t here right now unless he carried around duct tape in the trunk of his car.</p><p>Actually, it was Ryan Haywood. He probably did.</p><p>With a slight quiet growl, Ryan dug his nails into my thighs as he thrust harder into me. “I’m sure I could fucking find something.”</p><p>Whimpering and then proceeding to bite my lip in my effort to shut up, I reached for my clit anyway, <em>needing </em>that pleasure and relief from my pent up arousal. I’d almost been challenging his resolve to follow through with his threats and I really didn’t think he’d actually stop, but I should have known better than to doubt his level of dominance especially when he was horny. As suddenly as I’d begun, he’d pulled away from me and climbed off of the bed, causing me to whine a little in frustration.</p><p>“Ry, what-?” He was definitely acting as though he’d already planned ahead.</p><p>In the near-darkness he was crouched down by the bedroom door, picking up the Converse high-tops I’d kicked off earlier. It wasn’t until he extended his arm upwards away from the shoes that I saw the silhouette of the full length of a shoelace and realised what he was planning to do as he returned to me. With conviction, he pulled one of my hands up at a time to my curled metal headboard bars, tying my wrists neatly to them above me as I lay there.</p><p>“I warned you,” he smirked, straddling me again and positioning himself to start fucking me again.</p><p>He wasn’t wrong and I probably should have listened.</p><p>“Who do you belong to?” he asked.</p><p>“You,” I panted, submitting and giving up on challenging him now as I realised that the brief absence of him inside me was now making it feel even better as he leaned over me again.</p><p>“Me, <em>what?</em>” he whispered deliberately, clearly waiting for an answer without letting up on his pace.</p><p>“You, <em>Sir.</em>” Even as the words burned on my lips, I could practically sense his arousal heighten.</p><p>He groaned softly and kissed my neck between pants. “Good girl.”</p><p>Nailed it.</p><p>I wanted to claw at the skin of his back, to run my hand through his slightly floppy hair, to scratch him in revenge for taunting me and for being such a goddamn sexy teasing bastard but I could do none of those things. Instead, I twisted my wrists against their bounds a little, feeling entirely helpless as my pleasure mounted and I could do nothing to quite get myself over the edge.</p><p>Ryan soon found his release inside me whilst biting on my neck to keep from making any noise as he did so before kissing my lips hungrily right after.</p><p>“Ry, I-“ I quietly whimpered, cut off by his kisses almost between each word. “I- need-“</p><p>“Shhhh,” he purred, laying to the side of me as he filled me now with his fingers, his thumb being the thing to rub against my clit as he worked me into a writhing mess. For the first ten seconds I did an okay job at keeping relatively quiet but as I started to fail, he clamped his other hand over my mouth and continued until I came, trembling and squirming in absolute pleasure as I rode it out. It took me a few seconds afterwards to properly relax again, my wrists stinging slightly because of how much I’d just pulled against the laces as I gasped to regain my breath.</p><p>He removed his wet fingers and traced my lower lip with them as I opened my mouth and sucked them clean willingly while he watched.</p><p>“<em>Damn</em> you’re sexy when you do that,” he smirked, pulling his hand away and leaning to nibble the shell of my ear affectionately as I giggled a little, a small shiver running through me. Finally, he reached up to untie my bounds, dropping the laces on my nightstand.</p><p>“Ry?” I smiled, gripping his hand as he lay back down beside me and dragged the duvet back over us while I rolled over towards him.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I might misbehave more in the future if that’s how you treat me,” I grinned, cuddling close to him. I felt him breathe in the smell of my hair as he usually liked to do while he held me.</p><p>“Do it. I dare you.”</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Accusation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Geoff discovers something disturbing and upsets you by accident, but promises to make up for it.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Work sucks and is the entire reason for this chapter’s delay.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Geoff was not himself today at work. He was uncharacteristically quiet and kept leaving the room for up to twenty minutes at a time, causing concern from us as we worked at our desks. Ryan was busy being on ‘The Patch’ with Meg and Gus while Gavin and Michael had disappeared off to record ‘Play Pals’, leaving Jack, Ray and I to contend with spending a ridiculous amount of time on a Minecraft build together that involved a <em>lot </em>of blocks. That said, it made for a pretty chilled-out day as Geoff dropped in and out to help occasionally and make sure we weren’t fucking up the future ‘Let’s Play’ that would involve the huge creation.</p><p>On my lunch break, I dashed out to grab a burrito from a local place within walking distance. Upon returning to our studio building, I heard raised voices from over by the parking lot. Hesitating with my food in my hand, I frowned as I recognised the voice of Griffon; she wasn’t shouting exactly but she certainly sounded annoyed and as I hovered, knowing I should just go inside and not get involved, I heard the unmistakable voice of Geoff respond loudly back. The pair of them were clearly arguing about something heatedly and I didn’t particularly want to get involved.</p><p>It was none of my business anyway, I told myself as I swiped my ID card pass and entered the building, earning a nod from Carl on security on my way. I was so deep in thought that I nearly walked headlong into Gavin, who was looking down at his phone and didn’t see me either. I hopped out of the way as he did the same at the last second, both of us grinning stupidly at one another as he stopped to chat whilst sliding his iPhone back into his pocket.</p><p>“Have you seen Geoff? He’s not in the office.”</p><p>“Uh…no,” I replied, technically truthfully, because I’d only overheard him and I didn’t really want Gavin or anyone else to walk in on an awkward argument between him and his ex-wife. “I’ve just been out for lunch.”</p><p>We parted ways and I headed back to the office where Jack had pizza sitting on his desk between us whilst Ray was chewing a slice out of a box that sat next to his own keyboard - they hadn’t really taken a break, preferring to keep working while they ate. I picked my controller back up and re-joined them as we chatted, discussing various things and eventually landing on relationships as Ray told us what he and Tina did over the weekend. I explained about Hanna moving in with me and looking for a job down here, but I left out the details of her ex-fiancée being a total douchebag.</p><p>Ray smiled across at me with interest at the mention of my older sibling. “Is she hot?”</p><p>“Dude.” I shot him a look. “She’s my sister.”</p><p>“So?” Jack laughed.</p><p>“So she looks kinda like me,” I shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know.”</p><p>There was a slight pause from the two of them as they glanced at one another like they didn’t want to comment on my appearance inappropriately one way or the other.</p><p>“Is she single?” Ray asked, causing me to drop my controller to my lap and actually turn in my chair a bit to look at him, amusedly.</p><p>“She is, but you’re not,” I pointedly reminded him. “She just got out of a really bad relationship though.”</p><p>“I’m not asking for me,” he replied seriously as he got up from his chair and made to leave the room. “I have a friend who’s single, that’s all. I need to piss.”</p><p>Rolling my eyes a little I turned back to look at my monitor, continuing to stack cobblestone in Minecraft and occasionally switching to clay blocks. The office door shut behind Ray with a click as I stretched in my chair, yawning a little tiredly.</p><p>“Real talk though, you and Ryan are banging, right?” Jack asked casually as I stared sideways at him in shock at this totally out-of-the-blue question.</p><p>“What the hell made you say that?”</p><p>He looked at me then with a very knowing expression. “Oh come on…the way you look at him is beyond smitten,” he replied simply, “and I’ve seen the way he checks you out when he thinks he’s being subtle. He doesn’t do that to anyone else.”</p><p>Unable to help myself, I chuckled under my breath. Sometimes I was occasionally aware of him doing this briefly when I was wearing my skinny jeans but I did have to wonder who else had noticed this. Michael was usually the most observant in the office, which worried me because he was under the (correct) impression that I was in a relationship with Geoff.</p><p>“Maybe I just have a nice ass,” I shrugged jokingly, avoiding his question, but he continued to gaze steadily at me in bemusement.</p><p>“Look, I don’t care, I just want to know if I’m right,” Jack said, lowering his voice a little as we heard movement in the side office. “And on a selfish level, I also don’t want either of you getting into a messy breakup that could affect this work environment.”</p><p>That was a fair concern. “That won’t happen, trust me. I love him.”</p><p>“Oh. Wow, okay,” Jack replied, absorbing this information while he adjusted his glasses. He seemed a little surprised. “So…you’re not just friends with benefits or something, then? I figured you guys were just doing it.”</p><p>“No,” I replied with certainty, “but very few people know about it, so do me a favour and don’t mention it, okay?”</p><p>“Alright, but does Geoff know? I feel like he should know, as your boss,” Jack told me seriously as I tried not to laugh because of the irony. “Office romance and all.”</p><p>“Yes, Geoff knows.” Poor Jack had no idea. I did feel extremely guilty lying by omission but I also just couldn’t tell him the whole truth, especially right now.</p><p>“Why d’you wanna keep it secret?” he asked curiously. “Michael and Lindsay made no secret of their relationship before they got engaged.”</p><p>“I just…don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about either of us,” I shrugged, wanting him to drop it, but Jack was very unlikely to do that at this point.</p><p>“What wrong idea would they get?” Jack raised his eyebrows, the both of us still building as we spoke. “That you’re dating a colleague? It happens all the time. It’s not a big deal.”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong. Between Michael and Lindsay, Barbara and Trevor, Gavin and Meg and even Ashley and CEO-of-the-company Burnie, Rooster Teeth was pretty fine with relationships in the work place as long as they didn’t interfere with the actual work getting done and everybody was professional about it.</p><p>“I dunno, everything’s so public in this company.” I bit my lip. “People here find out and then the whole world finds out. I’m just not ready for that yet.”</p><p>Apparently satisfied, Jack shrugged and mimed zipping up his lips as we continued to build in-game until Ray returned, but he was closely followed by Geoff who was looking tired and fed up to say the least. Without a word and without even sitting down, he loaded into the game to see where we had all gotten to in terms of build progress.</p><p>“’Sup?” Jack asked him tentatively.</p><p>“Griffon wants her and Millie to move in with this new dude she’s seeing and I’m not happy about it,” Geoff replied openly, pressing the buttons of his controller more harshly than was necessary. “For one thing, it’s further away from me and for another, I don’t even know this guy.”</p><p>“Do you trust Griffon’s judgement, though? She’d never want to do that if she didn’t trust him with your daughter,” Jack said tactfully.</p><p>“I do but I’d feel better if I met the guy. Not like that’s gonna happen though, the only time Griffon and I ever spend time together nowadays is briefly when she drops off or picks up Millie,” Geoff growled a little as he flew in-game over to where we were all building. “By the way, you guys have totally fucked this up. This column is off by one.”</p><p>I winced as Ray retaliated a little. “No we haven’t, it’s meant to be six by six, right?”</p><p>“Yeah. It isn’t,” Geoff replied snippily. “The redstone won’t fit unless it’s the right dimensions. This is four by six.”</p><p>Oh <em>shit. </em>He was right and it was going to take another couple of hours at least to correct because we’d built other stuff around it that would now have to be essentially deleted and remade. I lowered my head into my hands in annoyance at myself as I placed my controller down on the desk. This was my fault.</p><p>Ray stared at his screen. “I dunno how we managed that, man. [Y/N] was building that but I thought I checked it not long ago.”</p><p>“I don’t care how it happened, just fucking fix it,” Geoff replied irritably. “And can I talk to you for a goddamn minute?”</p><p>His eyes were on me now and he looked pissed, causing my heartrate to elevate by several beats per minute as he left the room and expected me to follow him.  My mind raced as he lead me to a quiet, empty office nearby, shutting the door behind us hard.</p><p>“Look, I’m sorry I can’t count I guess,” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I’ll stay late to get it done, whatever.”</p><p>“I don’t give a shit about that,” he said bluntly, still glaring at me unnervingly. I’d never seen him be so mad at me personally and as I leaned back against the currently unused desk, I gripped the edge of it behind me for support. There had been a fair few times where collectively we’d screwed up as a department or team and he’d been angry in the general vicinity of me, but never like this. Never specifically at just <em>me</em>.</p><p>“Then what?” I asked quietly, losing my confidence because I had no idea now what was going on, wondering if he could <em>hear </em>how loud my heart felt like it was beating.</p><p>“Griffon said Millie was messaging someone the other night on her phone,” Geoff said in a low voice that barely contained his irritation.</p><p>“Okay…” I was still confused, watching as he folded his arms, his body language entirely cold as we stood opposite one another.</p><p>“The messages were disturbing,” he continued, raising his eyebrows. “When they started asking Millie for pictures of her in her underwear, she showed her mom to ask her ‘permission’ because she sensed something was wrong. And Griffon showed me just now in the parking lot. She drove over here <em>specifically </em>to show me, because the person Millie was talking to was basically grooming her and had been for a fucking while; the messages date back weeks.” He winced in disgust at this whole idea.</p><p>My jaw dropped in horror. Oh God, poor Millie. She was a smart kid at nine years-old, but how could she have been talking to a total stranger and not suss that something was up sooner with how much her parents stressed to her about not doing exactly that? Geoff had told me before that the only reason she even had social media was to talk to her friends under the supervision of her parents. Thank fuck she’d shown her mom before she’d given this weirdo any pictures.</p><p>“Geoff, I don’t know what to say. Is Millie okay?”</p><p>“She’s fine but she’s confused, because we checked out the profile she’s been talking to. I’m also very fucking confused because it’s <em>your profile </em>that she’s been messaging<em>.</em>”</p><p>My entire body went numb. Wait…<em>what? </em>My knuckles turned white as I gripped the edge of the desk behind me harder still, my mouth still open in shock as I stared at him.</p><p>“No, I- what? I haven’t…I’m confused, is this a joke?” It didn’t seem like something he would make humour out of, but I had no idea what else to think. This was so absurd of an accusation that I was lost – lost for words, lost for thoughts, lost for actions.</p><p>Pulling out his phone now, Geoff pulled up the profile he was talking about and handed me his phone. “This isn’t you, right? Please tell me that this isn’t your real account.”</p><p>I scanned through it; this profile had my pictures, my name, my date of birth, mutual friends, my place of work, my hobbies and interests - the list went on. It was almost a perfect copycat of my own real profile and the idea that some stranger was relying on using it to groom young girls – especially <em>Millie </em>– horrified me beyond belief. Tears sprung to my eyes, blurring my view of the phone’s display.</p><p>“This definitely isn’t my actual profile,” I shook my head. “It’s…similar, they’ve taken all my photos and information but…this isn’t me. Geoff, do you really think I would do something like this?” I demanded, anger now rising within me despite the tears.</p><p>Geoff lowered his face into his hand, wearily rubbing his forehead. “No. But I needed to ask. That profile has all of the same friends as your actual profile…and it’s got all the same info. The only reason that Millie even entertained it for a second is because she totally thought it was you. We’ve taught her never to accept random friend requests or messages from people she doesn’t know.”</p><p>Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I glared at him a little as I handed him back his phone. “I would <em>never </em>do this.”</p><p>“No, I know,” Geoff replied while visibly softening a little, his eyes now clearly regretful. “Griffon showed me and I just…reacted in defence of my daughter. I didn’t truly believe it was you but the profile is so creepily like yours that I needed to confront you about it. I’m sorry.”</p><p>I deliberately flexed my hands, achy because I’d had them clutched so tightly for the last several minutes. My voice was a quiet mumble. “You’d better be.”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>Sighing, he tapped a few things on the screen of his phone and then pocketed it. “I’ve reported it.”</p><p>This bombshell of a disgusting accusation was still washing over me while I used the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe my eyes a second time right as I felt Geoff approach and embrace me. My online social media presence had always been set to private as far as stuff like this went – or so I’d thought – but somehow this weirdo had still gotten all of the details to impersonate me.</p><p>“It did occur to me that it was most likely someone pretending to be you,” he said softly, “but I still couldn’t just ignore this without talking to you about it. I’m sorry I upset you.”</p><p>Part of me wanted to angrily elbow him away from me and storm off for ever even thinking for a split second that I could have been behind this, but the other part of me understood in an odd kind of way. Despite every instinct telling you that something wasn’t true, if it was presented the way it had been, could I blame him for getting confirmation that it wasn’t true? Sure he could have handled it better but to find out your daughter was being groomed by an online stranger posing as your colleague, friend and girlfriend was bound to elicit a protective response from someone like Geoff, or probably from most parents.</p><p>“You have some making up to do,” I mumbled as I let go of him and hopped up on to the desk behind me so that I was sitting at the same height as he was standing. “Please tell me that Griffon doesn’t think it’s me. I know she doesn’t know me that well but come the fuck on.”</p><p>“She doubted it too,” Geoff shook his head. “She really didn’t think I could have misjudged you that badly considering how long we’ve worked together.” His hands were resting on my thighs now as he spoke. “I’ll make sure Millie knows it wasn’t you as well.”</p><p>Pursing my lips a little, I placed my hands on his shoulders, opening my denim-clad legs so that my knees were out of the way: this allowed me to pull him closer until his own thighs hit the desk edge. I kissed his lips gently and felt him reciprocate but it was clear that he was unsure of how I was currently feeling because he slid his hands over my hips and kept them there. To be totally honest, <em>I</em> was unsure of how I was currently feeling after the emotional rollercoaster that had been the last ten minutes.</p><p>“Where is this going?” he asked softly, as though reading my mind.</p><p>“I’ve thought of a way you can make it up to me,” I smiled a little, running a hand through his hair. “Cook me dinner tomorrow night.”</p><p>“I can do that,” he grinned. “What do you want?”</p><p>“I’m not picky.” I rested my forehead gently against his, his eyes so close and so blue. “Surprise me.”</p><p>***</p><p>I examined my mirrored reflection in my bedroom on the evening of the following night, having picked out a cute casual dress that reached my knees and was entirely dark purple, paired with black tights. It had a rounded cut allowing for a classy display of cleavage, my black jacket zipping up over the top of it. At the last minute, I made the choice to add to my look by wearing the black velvet choker that Ryan had paid so much attention to before at the hotel.</p><p>My long hair loose and its usual dark wavy self, I brushed it through and picked up my purse, climbing into the Uber outside my apartment building that would take me to Geoff’s, getting pretty wet on my way to the car as the rain hammered down against the roof and windows. The jog from the car up to Geoff’s house was on another level however; the clouds had grown angrier and the rain seemed to have doubled in intensity during the ride over even when I hadn’t thought it could do so. I ducked quickly under the porch as I knocked, waiting and shivering a little bit because I was pretty much soaked now, self-consciously feeling like I looked like I’d been drowned.</p><p>Answering the door with an adorably goofy smile on his face and dressed in jeans and a button-up black long-sleeved shirt, Geoff raised his eyebrows, apparently pleased to see me. “Jesus, come in before you die of the cold.”</p><p>I shrugged my jacket off and he hung it up before looking me over, somewhere between concerned and amused.</p><p>“I feel like I just swam here,” I said by way of comment as I used the toes of my ankle boots to slip them off one by one by the heel. “It’s pouring down.”</p><p>“Clearly,” Geoff laughed as I ran a hand through my now-damp hair. “You look good though.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I grinned as I sat down at his kitchen table while he continued to cook. It smelled wonderful, like a combination of spicy and sweet as the contents of the wok hissed on the stove – stir fried pork with chopped bell peppers as a small saucepan containing a dark glaze-like sauce simmered beside it. He seemed to have tidied up the house too a little since I’d last been here - not that the place was ever really messy.</p><p>“Are you cold?” Geoff asked, noticing me plucking at my damp tights a bit as he stirred the sauce. “Want me to get you a towel?”</p><p>“A little, but it’s fine,” I admitted, not wanting him to stop cooking on my account. “I’ll go get one.”</p><p>Gavin seemed to be here less and less these days, making me wonder when exactly he was planning to just move in with Meg now that they seemed to be pretty solidly in a serious relationship. I slid my tights down and off in the bathroom, hanging them up over the towel rail where they could dry nicely for a few hours. I towel-drying my legs a little before doing the same with my hair. Upon returning to the open-plan living room/kitchen, Geoff was plating up our food and placing it on the kitchen table on teal ceramic plates.</p><p>“D’you want ginger beer, lemonade, cream soda or juice?” he asked, the fridge door wide open as he heard me approach.</p><p>“Lemonade,” I replied, smiling as he picked out a ginger beer, no alcohol in sight. I sat down and took in the amazing sight of the teriyaki pork and thin egg noodles before me as he sat opposite, waiting for my verdict.</p><p>I took a bite.</p><p>“Holy crap this is incredible,” I half-moaned as I chewed, genuinely meaning it as he started to laugh.</p><p>As we ate, I watched as he made a conscious effort to keep his fork still between his plate and his mouth as his hand trembled a little. Without noticing that I’d seen this, he placed it down and took a huge swig of his non-alcoholic beverage as if wishing it was actual beer.</p><p>“How’s Hanna?” Geoff inquired, unaware of my observation.</p><p>“She’s doing better, she’s applied for a bunch of jobs,” I said positively. “She also told our mom about the abusive relationship she’s been in.”</p><p>“Shit, is <em>that </em>why she came down here?” Geoff asked, his eyes widening a little at this new information. “What a piece of fuckin’ shit that guy is. If she needs counselling or anything…I know a guy.”</p><p>With a smile, I promised to pass on this message as we continued to eat, with me taking sips of my drink in between.</p><p>“How’s…being sober going?” I was tentative because I didn’t want to bring it up, but I also felt like it was probably always on his mind regardless of whether I mentioned it or not.</p><p>“It’s okay,” he replied simply, without elaborating, though it was clear that it was much more difficult for him than his flippant comment could lead some to believe.</p><p>“Is Gav any help at all?” I asked curiously. “He seems to be spending so much time with Meg at the moment.”</p><p>Geoff paused. “He’s kinda wrapped up in that relationship. As much as I told him to be careful after Ellie broke his heart, he’s a sucker for diving in head-first. Meg does seem really nice though.”</p><p>“She is,” I nodded. “I think those two are gonna last.”</p><p>We continued to eat in silence, finishing up and as Geoff flopped onto his sofa, I grabbed a blanket from his bedroom closet to wrap around us. I snuggled up to him as he draped an arm over my shoulder, flipping through the channels for something to watch as I warmed up, my damp dress now nearly dry as I breathed in his pleasant musky scent.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” he asked softly as we settled on a channel showing an old film that looked to be something from the eighties, judging by the dress style and cars of the characters. “How far have you and Ryan gone with this whole dominance and submission thing?”</p><p>“Oh, uh…” I paused, wondering where this question had come from. “In terms of what?”</p><p>“Well, clearly there’s the spanking, scratching and doing what he tells you to do…but I was wondering what else gets you off.” I met his mischievous eyes as his mouth curled a little into a smirk. “D’you like being owned in the bedroom?”</p><p>
  <em>Yes.</em>
</p><p>“Uh…”</p><p>“Because the last time you wore that choker necklace, we had a threesome,” Geoff continued, his eyes not leaving mine.</p><p>“Well Ryan seemed to like it on me,” I replied meekly with a shy shrug. “So I didn’t take it off with the rest of my clothes. My decision to wear it in the first place wasn’t a conscious correlation to my submission but I assumed he thought that when he took notice of it.”</p><p>There was a small pause as Geoff seemed to consider me. “Maybe you should just…keep it on.”</p><p>“What, all of the time?” Surprised, I tilted my head a little as he nodded in response.</p><p>“Well other than when you shower, yeah. It’ll be like a sexy, subtle reminder that you’re ours,” he grinned, stroking under my chin with his fingers as I gazed steadily at him.</p><p>“Okay.” He was looking down at my lips now so I leaned in to kiss him, speaking softly against his mouth. “And by the way, I like being tied up too.”</p><p>I felt him smile at this comment as he kissed me a little more hungrily, pushing back against my body until I was horizontal on the sofa. He knelt over me, his hand grazing my thigh under my dress while I unbuttoned his black shirt.</p><p>“So are you waiting for me to bust out the whips and chains?” he chuckled as I reached the last button and dragged it off of his bare shoulders so that he could shrug it off, my eyes tracing the lines of his colourful roadmap of tattoos that represented some of his life experiences.</p><p>“You can do whatever you want to me,” I said slyly as he laughed a little against my ear while I looked sideways, appreciating the feel of his kisses on my neck and the way they were causing goosebumps to rise on my skin.</p><p>I loved the difference between the two of them. Whilst Ryan could definitely be gentle and loving too at times, he had a kinky streak that was so far totally unmatched by Geoff and this was by no means a negative on Geoff’s part, but it had left me wondering what he was into aside from the obvious since he hadn’t strayed too far into that realm yet.</p><p>“Whatever I want?” he repeated with a slight grin, kissing along my jawline to my lips as his hand slid further up my thigh under my dress. “Where’s the line?”</p><p>With a quiet giggle, I stroked his hair. “The line is when I give you the safe word. It’s ‘red’.”</p><p>“Kinky bitch,” Geoff grinned, his hand now so far under my dress that he’d reached my crotch and was stroking there lightly with his fingers as I obligingly opened my legs a little bit for him with a small moan. “Maybe I should play more games with you, like we did with the panties on the plane.”</p><p>Remembering that this had been his idea originally despite Ryan having escalated it, I smirked. “Maybe we should.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Wet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You discover that Geoff <i>definitely</i> has an edge to him, sexually.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning </b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I was drunk on pleasure. The situation had escalated pretty quickly on the sofa, with me now lacking panties and my dress bunched up around my waist while Geoff had shed the rest of his clothing to be able to fuck me where I lay, his lust clearly brought on by my admissions and his thoughts of me in compromising positions as I arched beneath him in ecstasy and he breathlessly cursed, the two of us climaxing together and nearly falling off the sofa right afterwards in a burst of giggles.</p><p>As we caught our breath for a few minutes, he stroked my hair softly while I ran my hand over his shoulder. My love for him was immeasurable in this moment as we laughed at the almost-disaster of ending up on his living room floor.</p><p>“What else turns you on?” I asked him as he smiled at me, his gaze soft and caring.</p><p>“You,” he replied immediately. “Especially when you’re wet.”</p><p>I laughed then, shaking my head a little. “Geoff…”</p><p>“I mean wet all over, like how you got rained on,” he added, grinning.</p><p>It was then that I had a sudden image of him in the shower, his colourful skin glistening under the warm water as he stood under the flow. I realised next that it would be extremely easy to achieve this under current circumstances.</p><p>“Wanna see me get <em>really</em> wet?” I teased, sitting up and tugging at his hand as he watched me, amused. He didn’t need any further encouragement though as we traipsed upstairs and headed into the bathroom there. We climbed into the shower together after I’d fully stripped, the cubicle plenty spacious enough for two. My choker was still around my neck and Geoff pointed this out before it got ruined and removed it for me, placing it on the side.</p><p>He turned on the water, adjusting the temperature as I stood out of it for a second to allow it to warm up the right amount. Then he turned slightly and slid his arms around me, pulling me close to him as I felt the warm, clean water wash over us the both of us soothingly.</p><p>This was merely a lovely feeling until I heard him reach for the shower gel and before I knew it, he was lathering me up sensually with the amazing pine-and-sandalwood foam that I associated with him so strongly, starting with my ass and causing heat to shoot south between my legs again in response to this touch. I giggled, looking up at him as he smirked back.</p><p>“Hey, this was your idea,” he shrugged in mock defence before I could comment, sliding his hands easily over my slick skin up to my breasts, where he very deliberately slowly made a point of making sure they were ‘clean’. “And you look fuckin’ hot wet.”</p><p>“Jesus,” I gasped, leaning lightly on the steamy glass of the cubicle as he paid particular attention to my nipples, sending a spike of pleasure through me. “D’you want to be any more sensual about it?”</p><p>Without answering my question, he simply said, “Turn around.”</p><p>With a slightly bemused look I faced away from him, feeling his hands on the back of my shoulders immediately as he began to massage there, close to my neck. It felt good, as though he was working out my week’s worth of stressed-out knots that I hadn’t noticed that I’d had. I relaxed into it as the warm water washed the soap away before he pulled me backwards against his body gently, returning to his fondling of my wet breasts as he nipped at my neck playfully.</p><p>“Mmm, why haven’t we done this before?” I asked, my eyes closed as I leaned my head back against his chest, my hand reaching back to cup his bristly cheek.</p><p>“I have no idea,” he replied, now kissing along my shoulder, “but from now on every time you shower, I want you to think of this moment.” His left hand trailed down to my abdomen, his fingers resting on and tracing the thin pink scar line there.</p><p>Something occurred to me then. “Geoff, you know a great tattooist, right? I want to cover that up,” I sighed as he nodded in response to my question.</p><p>“Sure,” he replied, sliding his wet soapy hands down to my thighs now. “Why?”</p><p>“I hate being reminded of that night when I catch sight of my scar in the mirror,” I said truthfully. “I’d rather make it into something positive. I was thinking something small and colourful.”</p><p>“I’ll ring Erik sometime and book you in,” Geoff replied. “He’ll take care of you, he’s done a few of my better ones.”</p><p>I turned back around, grabbing the bottle of shower gel and pouring some down his chest with a grin before rubbing my palms over his inked skin there with relish. “I’m gonna need you to come with me and hold my hand, you know that right?”</p><p>“I figured,” he smirked, his hands back on my ass again. “It’s really not so bad. You seem to handle pain pretty well anyway.”</p><p>“You’ve clearly never seen me have blood taken,” I shot back as I purposefully flicked his nipples with my soapy fingers as playful revenge. “I’m bad with needles.”</p><p>With only a smile, Geoff gently pushed me two steps back against the tiled wall of the shower, his left hand sliding south of my abdomen. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.” His other hand ran slowly up my upper arm to my shoulder.</p><p>“I thought showers were supposed to get you clean,” I smirked with a slight gasp as his fingers made contact with my clit. “Right now all you’re doing is making me feel more dirty.”</p><p>My hands were gripping his shoulders as I became aware that he was also becoming aroused again while he lightly teased, forcing a small moan out of me as I tried to keep my composure.</p><p>“Oh no,” he replied mockingly with a mischievous look, rubbing a little more generously now that he’d more specifically found the right place.</p><p>I bit my lip and tilted my head back against the wall as I felt his mouth attack the side of my neck again while I focused on staying upright with difficulty, my nails digging further into his shoulders for support as the steam hung in the air around the two of us, clinging to the glass as the water ran down our naked bodies. I’d become so used to Geoff pushing to give me exactly what I wanted, unlike Ryan who would drag it out and make me beg for it, but all in all Geoff tended to be the more gentle of the two. I loved both situations, but as Geoff edged me closer and closer to orgasm I felt the sting of his teeth in my neck, contradicting this thought as he bit down a little harder as though claiming me. That was sure to leave a mark and it was harder than back on the plane in the toilet but tentatively, I allowed him to continue.</p><p>“Fuck!” I whimpered as his free hand slid up to my neck right before he pulled back a little to watch my face as he continued to rub me. It took me a few seconds from being wrapped up in the pleasure to register that he wasn’t simply putting his hand there, he was also applying increasing pressure to my throat until my moans were entirely silent and he was watching me come, his eyes hungry as he murmured the words,</p><p>“Good girl.”</p><p>If it weren’t for his hold on me, I probably would have fallen down from the strength of the orgasm mixed with his choking of my airway as I scratched at his shoulders a little lightheadedly, my eyes closed in agonising bliss. A moment later and he’d released his grip on my neck and I was gasping for breath a little, his hands sliding around me as he pulled me close.</p><p>“Fucking hell,” I panted, holding him tightly. “That was…unexpected.”</p><p>“Mhm,” he replied, stroking my sopping hair as I gazed up at him a bit uncertainly. “I love watching you come.”</p><p>We finished up in the shower pretty quickly with him still clearly horny as fuck and me pretty exhausted as we dried off and headed for his bedroom, where I discovered that he had no intention of letting me simply go to sleep yet.</p><p>“Geoff,” I whined, “we have to be up early in the morn-“</p><p>His kiss cut me off as he straddled me on his bed, his still hungry arousal wanting me to yield to him yet again as I kissed him back willingly, but I couldn’t hide the tiredness I was experiencing after orgasming twice already and it being late in the evening.</p><p>“Lift your head,” he instructed before fastening my velvet choker around my neck that he’d brought with him from the bathroom clutched in his hand, unbeknownst to me. “I’m not done with you yet.”</p><p>Despite myself, his words were turning me on again.</p><p>I cooperated with him as he entered me, sparing no thought for going slowly this time because he just didn’t need to - my body was already as ready as it could be. My complicitly innocent expression very quickly turned to one of ecstasy and need as he showed me that he wasn’t always the gentle lover I’d previously taken him for, pounding me until I was once again clawing at his back with groans of desperation for more.</p><p>“Geoff, I don’t think I can orgasm <em>again,</em>” I moaned. Never before had I ever come three times in a row and hell, very rarely had I even done it twice in a row.</p><p>With a breathless smile, he chuckled a little. “Yes you can.”</p><p>“I really- don’t- think-“ I groaned, my sentence broken up between my panting as he fucked me harder. I had no idea how he had more faith in my body than I did but I guessed it was down to experience. Regardless, I was unsure.</p><p>“You’re gonna,” Geoff replied to my denial, his positioning allowing him to thrust deeper as he leaned over me, my quiet whimpers lost beneath his firm words as I scratched at him. “Because you’ll do what I say.”</p><p>“Geoff, I-“ With the combination of his words, penetration and my fingering myself too now, I realised suddenly that I was once again being catapulted towards orgasm as my whole body trembled with exertion and pleasure that I wondered how I was able to handle this third time around. It felt different to the first two times; it was far more intense along the way and yet despite this, it seemed harder to reach the goal, prolonging the incredible feeling that was so damned good it was almost scaring me how the orgasm would feel and how the hell I was supposed to cope with it.</p><p>The showering had basically been nullified as we sweated together with it now only having served as a way for Geoff to see me soaked and feel me up rather than for us to get clean, but I didn’t care. Right now, in this moment, the only thought in my mind was the feeling of Geoff inside me and my impending release.</p><p>“Come on, you can do it,” he breathed, coaxing me in a way that he knew would definitely get me off.</p><p>“But it’s…so…good,” I whimpered nonsensically in reply, never having felt this level of pleasure before.</p><p>“Come on, do it for me, be a good girl for me again…”</p><p>A guttural scream left my mouth as I came, totally involuntarily trembling and writhing as my third orgasm gripped me so mercilessly tight I thought I might never be able to breathe again for a split-second. It rippled through me relentlessly for seconds, during which I can only assume that my sudden tightness had caused Geoff to come too because he had slowed his pace and had uttered my name in the form of a moan, his eyes closed.</p><p>“Fucking shit,” he groaned, waiting until I had finally fully relaxed before he lay down beside me, breathing as heavily as I was.</p><p>I had no words to describe how incredible that had been, so I rolled on to my side to rest my head on his chest, my arm draped over him. My hair was still wet from the shower so it was probably a nice, cool relief on his hot skin. “You’re amazing.”</p><p>Geoff smirked. “Next time we’re going for four.”</p><p>I laughed, thinking he was joking but wondering briefly if he wasn’t. “Can I sleep now? I’m fucking exhausted.”</p><p>“It’s cute that you asked,” he replied with a grin. “More importantly though, do you forgive me? Have I made it up to you?”</p><p>With a small sleepy laugh and with my eyes already closed, I squeezed him. “Yes. I’m going to sleep now.”</p><p>***</p><p>Awake before Geoff, I’d showered again alone and had made him and I coffee as he stumbled into the bathroom. I brushed my hair in his bedroom mirror, having remembered to put my black choker back on along with the tights and dress I’d worn the night before, now both bone-dry. Sure, I hadn’t intended to stay the night considering how he’d upset me, but I should have known how easily I would forgive him for this considering how smitten I was. Still, this outfit wasn’t really what you would call inappropriate for work even if it was a little out of the ordinary for me to wear, so I shrugged and applied some deodorant from a small bottle out of my bag that I’d bought over with me.</p><p>When Geoff reappeared to get dressed, he seemed much more awake. He sipped his coffee before sliding on his t-shirt, his eyes running over my figure as he did so. “D’you want me to drop you by your place to change before heading into the office?”</p><p>“Why would I change?” I asked with an innocent smile.</p><p>Geoff shrugged, but the smirk on his lips said it all.</p><p>The drive to work was uneventful but once there, he had to split off to attend an important work meeting, leaving me to head towards the office as usual.</p><p>“Did you and Geoff just arrive here together?” Michael asked, raising his eyebrows as he appeared at my side.</p><p>“Yeah,” I replied honestly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.</p><p>“Fair enough.” He followed me into the room, parking himself at his desk as I sat at mine between Ryan and Jack. Beside Michael, Gavin’s desk, chair and possessions were still largely covered in bright yellow sticky notes since he’d lazily found a way to remove the minimum amount to still do his job, working around the prank surprisingly effectively, though still hilariously.</p><p>“Heyyy!” Jack greeted me cheerfully as I placed my headphones around my neck, unzipping my black leather jacket as I went to get comfortable in my chair. “Gavin’s not coming into work today, he texted me.”</p><p>“Why, what’s he doing?” I frowned, already noticing that I had Ryan’s full attention due to my choice of clothing. I hadn’t worn something to work that wasn’t jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie for weeks.</p><p>“Something to do with ‘Slow Mo Guys’,” he shrugged, referring to the show that Gavin and his childhood friend Dan made professionally with extremely expensive slow-motion cameras for the entertainment of the internet. “So it’s just the five of us today without Geoff as well.”</p><p>“Wow, it’s gonna be quiet,” Ryan commented. “Michael, you’re gonna have to make up for that.”</p><p>“Oh I will,” he replied smugly.</p><p>Today’s Let’s Play was in fact simply playing Minecraft, which was extremely refreshing after doing so much building the last few office days. The aim was to enter The End, leading to a lengthy process of needing to obtain a lot of armour, weapons and various rare items beforehand to even get there. As Jack constructed us all a house and Ryan dealt with finding and slaughtering animals for food as usual, Michael, Ray and I set off to find resources underground.</p><p>It didn’t take long for the first death to occur, with Michael completely having missed the creeper that had been stalking him for about ten seconds before it blew up and took him with it, inventory and all, leading to a lot of shouting and anger.</p><p>“This looks great!” I beamed a minute later as I admired Jack’s simple yet functional one-roomed house complete with a couple of windows and a set of double doors for entry. “Where do we sleep, though?”</p><p>“We don’t have beds yet,” Jack replied, organising the items within our storage chests as we all dumped stuff in them haphazardly.</p><p>“Working on it,” Ryan said, still out finding animals for their materials. “I should really craft sheers instead of just killing every sheep I see.”</p><p>“It’d definitely be more efficient dude,” Ray responded as he returned to the house to retrieve another stone pickaxe to gather coal and iron with. “Maybe we should breed them or something.”</p><p>This spawned a discussion between the two of them about what material you were supposed to use to lure sheep to follow you before eventually Jack Googled it just to stop them arguing. It turned out to be wheat, so Ryan set out to find a village instead in the hopes of finding it growing, ignoring my suggestion of just growing the seeds you obtained by hitting tall grass.</p><p>“Ryan really just wants to find villagers to lord over,” Jack shrugged. “Let him go.”</p><p>“Look, they just need some order,” Ryan chuckled, playing into this straight away. “And when I find them I will become their king and they will realise what they’ve been missing as I rule their kingdom.”</p><p>“Which is what, Ryan?” Michael laughed. “What have they been missing? Watching their families die before their eyes as you decide who survives like some twisted psychopath?”</p><p>“I’m not gonna kill them!” he defended himself. “I’m gonna trade with them. They might have stuff we need.”</p><p>“I bet he kills <em>some</em> of them,” I mumbled while dumping a small amount of iron ore in a chest as Jack vocally agreed.</p><p>“Mad King Ryan, at it again,“ Ray quipped in support of my statement.</p><p>“Hey, I’m not to blame if some of them just <em>happen </em>to die, okay?” Ryan smirked, glancing sideways at me in real life as he played up to the audience’s expectation of his in-game antics. His eyes dropped to my choker briefly before he returned his attention to the game.</p><p>“I found diamond!” Jack beamed sometime later, having finished building and instead was now helping us to mine for useful things. It was at that moment that my phone buzzed in my bag by my feet. Distractedly, I leaned to grab it as the caller ID displayed ‘Hanna’ across the screen.</p><p>I couldn’t pick it up of course, but when I hit the side button to stop it from ringing, she instead sent me a text message.</p><p>
  <em>‘Sorry if you’re busy, but I just got an interview for a job!’</em>
</p><p>I texted back my congrats and that I couldn’t talk right now but that we’d celebrate later for sure, tucking my cell back away before the guys took vocal notice of it within the recording. I glanced apologetically at Jack who was in charge of us while Geoff was away, as co-founder of Achievement Hunter, but he merely smiled briefly back, not seeming to mind.</p><p>When we took a break for lunch, I stepped into the kitchen area to make myself a sandwich before realising that Ryan had followed me and was currently standing in the way of the fridge.</p><p>“You don’t normally turn up here looking so…hot,” he commented with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“I was with Geoff last night,” I replied quietly, in case anyone else was around.</p><p>“Aaand…you didn’t take spare clothes?” Ryan smirked, his voice questioning.</p><p>“I didn’t think I’d be staying over,” I shrugged.</p><p>Taking a step closer to me as if to remind me how much taller than me he was, Ryan stroked a finger under my chin gently. “Well that was naïve.”</p><p>“Shut up.” I cleared my throat, stepped around him and swung open the refrigerator, grabbing the butter and cheese before shutting it with a swing of my hip as I placed my sandwich ingredients on the counter. I felt Ryan’s gaze boring into the back of my head as I tried to ignore the rising heat from having just said something that would surely get me in trouble with him later. “He seems to like this choker as much as you do, by the way.”</p><p>Ryan chuckled, leaning against the counter near enough to me that I felt compelled to take a small step away from him in case anyone was passing by. His voice low, he folded his arms across his chest. “Did you wear it while Geoff fucked you again?”</p><p>I accidently stabbed the butter knife through the bread slice I’d been spreading. “Aw shit!” I cursed, dropping it and turning to look at him. “Yes, I did. Happy? Now you’ve ruined my sandwich.” I pouted.</p><p>With a smug smirk, Ryan shrugged a little. “I didn’t ruin it, you did.”</p><p>“Yeah, well…” I paused, feigning irritation as he bit his lower lip, observing me with amusement as I realised just how much I wanted to kiss him.</p><p>Simultaneously we both took a step forward, our lips crashing together as he shoved me up against the fridge door, causing letter magnets and photos to jumble up and fall to the floor with small clatters as we kissed passionately, my hands in his hair and on the back of his neck and his hands on my hips and lower back. We knew full-well that this was a terrible decision and the worst possible place to do this but goddammit were we revelling in the moment of peace and quiet accompanied by the sudden need we had for each other. It would be impossible but I wanted him to take me right here in the kitchen, the thoughts of which caused me to moan against his lips as he drew away, his eyes darkening with want.</p><p>“What. The. Fuck.”</p><p>Ryan stepped away from me abruptly, running a hand back through his hair to tidy it as I gasped and looked towards the steps leading up in to the kitchen, where Michael was standing with his mouth hanging open in shock accompanied by Ray, who looked equally as surprised. The former had been the one to issue the startled words and as he looked between us for an explanation, neither of us could think of anything to say whatsoever as the tension rose by the second.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. { Interlude }</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <b>This is not a chapter and is not fiction. I need some opinions from you guys because I've honestly been completely at a loss as to what to do with this fic now.</b>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By now, 99% of the community knows what has been happening with regards to the real-life events of Ryan. As a long-time fan, I <strong>cannot condone</strong> what he has done and I'm not going to detail it either (look on Twitter at the AH staff's tweets and the sub Reddits for Rooster Teeth &amp; Achievement Hunter if you want the full stories). Read at your own risk, it gets detailed and it gets disturbing. I will say upfront that my fic has always reflected my own morals with regards to cheating and explicit consent and as a result of this, I do not support anything he has done IRL.</p><p>Initially, I was of the thought process that this fic was over. I wasn't sure how I was going to write Ryan or if I'd lose all respect from anyone who was reading/who would read in the future because of continuing it, and that made me nervous. In a weird kind of way though, I've separated this fic from reality over the chapters and the characters within it, though based on real people initially, have become more and more fictional (mostly because obviously, I don't actually know any of them personally). Obviously there are still very real elements in there as I was watching a lot of Achievement Hunter for inspiration/writing directive, but as far as the recent real events go, I feel I have two options.</p><p> </p><p>1) Continue to write as I was. Basically ignore the 'outside world' and write Ryan as we all thought that he was (in the context of this fic, subject to my personal creativity). Continue with the jokes, the banter, the attitude and the general persona based off of our previous notions of him prior to finding out the shitshow that is reality. Considering that my fic is written before these events even begun to take place, this could work, but even if I did happen to write so far into the future that I reached 2017/2018 onwards, I wouldn't write any of the reality in anyway, obviously.</p><p>2) End the fic prematurely (no more chapters). I will understand completely if this is not something that readers will be able to get past whilst reading. Because of what I've said above, I think I could be okay continuing to write it because I can fall back on that 'fantasy version of Ryan' while writing, but I have no idea how this would translate to any readers and whether or not anybody could stomach it any more.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not doing this to be full of myself, I just genuinely don't know what to do. Please comment here and let me know, guys. I really, really appreciate all of the support for this fic as I've been writing it.</p><p>&lt;3</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Cat's out of the bag for Ray and Michael. Now only Jack, Gavin and Meg are out of the loop with regards to the true nature of your relationship. Also Hanna drags you to a nightclub.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my last chapter (30 - Interlude). I'm overwhelmed with support as we all struggle to cope and come to terms with things during this time. I will continue the fic because I so enjoy writing it and honestly didn't want to end it early, despite feeling before like I should. Your comments have made me realise and come to terms with the fact that everyone copes differently and while some might feel more comfortable cutting him out of their fics, I personally just wish to write him as we thought he was to almost 'preserve' the memory. Hopefully this brings comfort/happiness to others besides me, because writing is a way in which I deal with my own anxiety and issues in real life. This fic particularly is something I've leaned on for the last month or so as I've gone back to work in retail which is stressful normally, let alone in these unknown, virus-y times.<br/>Thank you everyone, sincerely.<br/>x</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Are you gonna explain what the fuck you’re doing?” Michael demanded of us as Ray silently raised his eyebrows in apparent judgement.</p><p>“Uh…” I tried, but nothing sprung to mind aside from the truth – the only thing left. My voice was weak and barely more than a mumble. “I can explain. But…can we like, go outside or something?” We were in such a public area, one in which anyone could overhear even metres away in the echoey hanger outside of the office builds within. Even people walking by would easily overhear what was happening.</p><p>“What, so nobody else finds out that you’re cheating on Geoff?” Michael exploded at me in response. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”</p><p>“I’m <em>not</em> cheating on him!” I replied in a hiss, trying to quieten him. “I’m in a polyamorous relationship with him and Ryan.”</p><p>There was an extended silence in which Michael seemed to be trying to figure out whether he believed that statement or not. His narrowed eyes flicked from one of us to the other as he battled internally with himself.</p><p>“It’s true,” Ryan added quietly. “Geoff is aware.”</p><p>“So…you’re with them both?” Ray inquired, curiosity in his voice as he folded his arms.</p><p>“Yes,” I answered him, glancing around with panic in case anybody else was around to hear any of this, which in this company, with the amount of people that worked here, was very probable.</p><p>A second later and Michael was walking off, causing the three of us to follow him in bewilderment.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Ryan asked him with a resigned sigh as the younger man strolled down the corridor and around the corner with a clear purpose as we attempted to keep up.</p><p>There was no reply as Michael flung the exit door of the building open with a bang and headed over to another hanger next door where I knew Geoff probably was in his meeting. I jogged to catch up to him and clutched at the arm of his green hoodie as he spun around, trying to shake me off of him. I squinted a little in the brightness of the light of day, the sky filled with pale grey clouds.</p><p>“Let go!” he yelled, yanking his arm out of my grip. “Geoff’s fucking been through enough over the years, do you really think I’m going to let you hurt him like this? And <em>you!</em>” He glared at Ryan.</p><p>One of Michael’s best qualities was admirably shining through right now along with arguably one of his biggest flaws; his loyalty and hot-headedness. Often relatively quiet despite his loud persona on-camera, he would still be the first to jump to defend a friend or family member as his heart ruled his head in the heat of the moment. This was especially true since he had known Geoff the longest among us as the fourth member of Achievement Hunter to be hired back in the day after Jack and Gavin, before they’d known any of us standing out here had existed. If Gavin or Ray alone had caught Ryan and I, I had a feeling that they at least would have let me get a word in edgeways before storming off.</p><p>“I swear to all that is fucking holy, I’m <em>not </em>deceiving Geoff,” I emphasised as he finally came to a halt and stared at me, his light brown eyes blazing with a fire of emotions. “I’m telling you the truth.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you just tell us the truth before now?” Ray asked, standing with Michael.</p><p>“Because I was worried about getting <em>this </em>kind of reaction and judgement,” I groaned, lowering my head into my hands.</p><p>“Listen, this is not a faint-hearted fling,” Ryan spoke quietly still, clearly wanting to de-escalate the situation quickly now because people were beginning to stare at the commotion in passing from across the parking lot as they went on with their day. “This isn’t just us all messing around or taking advantage. You need to calm down before you speak to Geoff.”</p><p>With a deep breath, Michael glared at me and then Ryan. “That had better all be true. That man in there-” he gestured towards the building where Geoff was in a meeting, “-has worked <em>so hard </em>to build this company and this division and while you two know you’re like family to me, I won’t hesitate to fuck you both if you’re about to ruin this.”</p><p>“Look, nobody needs to fuck anybody,” Ray countered, trying to keep the peace now even with his comically poor choice of words. “This is really none of my business, I’m going back inside.” He turned to walk away but stopped at the next words spoken.</p><p>“Yeah but it is,” Michael responded furiously at him, though he had at least lowered his voice a little now. “It affects all of us.”</p><p>I was trembling but despite being outside in November with bare arms, it wasn’t from the cold. I twisted my hands together, wringing them nervously as I watched them before glancing at Ryan who glanced somewhat apologetically back at me, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.</p><p>“Michael…” I began, but I withered a bit as he shot me a suspicious look.</p><p>“I’ll be the fucking first to apologise to you both if you’re being honest,” he told us straight, with sincerity. “But this just doesn’t seem like Geoff to me.”</p><p>Images from Australia flashed through my mind; I’d never have thought that Geoff would be up for what he had agreed to or participated in either before then so I couldn’t say I blamed Michael’s judgement entirely. As much as his clear current distrust of me hurt, if anyone had magically told me a year ago what was going to happen this year with my relationship status and especially that I’d be caught up in an actual threesome with these two men, I’d never have believed them.</p><p>A crisp breeze whipped around us lightly, tugging at the hem of my knee-length purple dress and reminding me that Fall was very much here. I folded my arms across my chest, trying not to shiver as Michael stood talking on his phone now, obviously to Geoff as he asked him to come and meet the three of us here. Goddammit, ‘outside’ had been my idea - I really should have taken the time to grab my jacket. Ryan seemed to have noticed this, because the next thing he did was unzip and remove his own black hoodie to drape it over my freezing shoulders. It drowned me, but it was warm and cosy.</p><p>“Jesus, what the hell are you all doing out here?” Geoff laughed a little as he approached us, looking slightly bewildered as Ryan shuffled a little uncomfortably in his t-shirt now and Michael just stared. Ray leaned against the wall of the building, gazing up at the sky with a little smile on his face.</p><p>“Geoff…Michael and Ray caught Ryan and I…kissing in the kitchen…” I stammered, my nerves playing hell for some reason. Perhaps it was because I didn’t want Michael to hate me. I drew Ryan’s hoodie around me more, for comfort.</p><p>There was a slight pause as Geoff blinked obviously at me, obviously not sure what my point was before it clicked a second later. “You’re <em>kidding,</em>” he gasped in mock-surprise at Michael. “Two of my employees kissing in the <em>kitchen? </em>God I just…I don’t know what I should do. Should I fire you both? And <em>you</em>, how <em>could</em> you?” He grinned at me. What a truly award-winning performance, broken only by the fact that he was clearly joking.</p><p>Ray started laughing as it became apparent that I’d been entirely truthful the entire time, though he’d been acting like he already believed us anyway. Michael seemed to be quickly grasping that something was amiss as he watched Ryan’s mouth twist into a smirk at this sudden introduction of humour.</p><p>“Geoff, I thought you and her were…together.”</p><p>Without missing a beat, Geoff nodded, his face serious now. “We are. And she’s with Ryan too. Sorry y’all found out like this.”</p><p>It was probably the first time I’d ever seen Michael lost for words as Ray continued to laugh. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he simply nodded ‘okay’ and looked to Ryan and I with an earnest expression. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” I beamed, throwing my arms around him as he hesitantly hugged me back, albeit still seeming confused. Almost as though someone had flipped the switch in his brain from ‘defend Geoff’ to ‘defend me’, I heard Michael’s quiet whisper in my ear whilst we held the friendly embrace.</p><p>“You’re okay right? They’re not taking advantage of you? You can talk to me.”</p><p>His words touched me deeply. “Thanks, but it’s honestly fine,” I whispered back with a smile before we broke apart.</p><p>“It doesn’t interfere with work,” Geoff added, unaware of this secret exchange. “But we didn’t want the whole world to know.”</p><p>Michael nodded slowly. “’Kay. I won’t go blabbing or the fanbase will have a field day. Who else knows? Is it just Ray and me?”</p><p>“Gavin and Meg know about me and [Y/N],” Geoff shrugged. “Gavin had to know first, he lives with me.”</p><p>“Jack knows about Ryan and I,” I chipped in as Geoff begun to cackle at this revelation.</p><p>Ryan looked surprised. “What? How?”</p><p>“He sussed it out from how we act around each other,” I grinned as he raised an eyebrow at me. “Don’t look at me like that, I’ve seen you checking me out!”</p><p>“I never took Jack for the observant type,” Geoff wheezed, clutching his side as Ray grinned and added his input.</p><p>“I noticed that too, but I just thought it was because you wear tight jeans.”</p><p>“I wear skinny jeans that fit me fine,” I spluttered back at him in weak defence as Ryan chuckled beside me.</p><p>I wanted to explain that I had confided in Lindsay weeks ago but I stopped myself abruptly, realising what that could mean for their own relationship together. I didn’t want Michael to feel as though his wife had been hiding something this big from him that concerned three of his co-workers, even if my personal relationship status basically had nothing to do with him. He could tell her and she could decide if she wanted to act shocked or explain that she knew already, but I wasn’t about to throw gasoline into the fire and make him feel like she’d iced him out on the information.</p><p>“I’ve gotta get back, but you guys have fun,” Geoff winked at us before walking off, his hands in his hoodie pockets.</p><p>“High five,” Ray held up his hand to me as we made our way back indoors and into the warm. Automatically, I high-fived him back before asking what it was even for. His response had me in stitches. “For finally getting yourself some dick!”</p><p>***</p><p>Hanna excitedly set her herbal tea down on my coffee table before tucking her legs under herself on my sofa beside me as she described this new job interview she had gotten earlier today. It was early evening and while I had been ready to wind down to go to sleep in a couple of hours after a day at work, her perkiness suggested that she was not going to do any such thing. I wanted to be supportive and stay up with her and talk, but I was so damn tired already and it was barely seven o’clock.</p><p>“…so we should go out for a drink to celebrate!” she finished, bringing my attention back to her as she smiled at me expectantly. “When was the last time you let loose?”</p><p>“Uh…define ‘let loose’…” I asked, thinking about the fact that I’d fairly recently been in a bar. Well, fairly recently for my standards, anyway.</p><p>“Y’know, gone to a club and danced until you couldn’t any more, drank until you couldn’t remember your name, maybe even hooked up with a stranger,” she continued, straying further and further from the sensible sister I’d known her to be all these years with every new word she was saying.</p><p>“I’m not really…into going to clubs,” I hesitated, watching her smile drop a little. “But maybe it’ll be fun with you?” I wanted to support her, I really did, even if that meant going way outside of my comfort zone.</p><p>Her grin returned. “Hey, I know you’re taken and all but I’m free now. Plus, it’s Friday night! You could even bring along your boyfriends!”</p><p>I snorted with laughter - I couldn’t help it. I knew that neither of them would be caught dead in a club and the very image of it was just plain amusing to me. On the other hand, <em>I</em> usually wouldn’t be caught dead in a club either but my wanting to support my sister was overruling my inner introvert. </p><p>“Who are you and what have you done with Hanna?” I mocked her gently as she got up suddenly to find something suitable to wear.</p><p>“This is new Hanna. Free Hanna. The Hanna who is allowed to have fun with nobody to beat her down for it,” she replied lightly as she dug through her open and messy suitcase, though I sensed the underlying darkness behind the words.</p><p>An hour was spent on dressing up. I felt uncomfortable in almost everything she lent me because I just wanted to snuggle up in pyjamas at home, but somehow she had persuaded me into a spangly skimpy dress that was honestly – in my opinion – closer to a nightie or some form of lingerie for the bedroom. Deliberately, I kept on my velvet choker.</p><p>Hers was shiny black with silver accents but with a neckline that plunged so low it almost showed her belly button. As tight as it was, it did at least cover her thighs unlike mine, though I suspected that was because she was extremely self-conscious about the water burn scars she had. I never would have dared to wear either outfit in a million years if not for her.</p><p>Already was I struggling with how short this silver dress was as we climbed out of the cab and I shuffled and pulled it down as far as it would go (which was still only halfway down my thighs). I was grateful that my buckle-up velvet platform heels were not so ridiculous that I couldn’t walk, because Hanna’s were what I would call extremely high but somehow she could walk elegantly in them as though practiced which was pretty admirable considering the slightly uneven concreate sidewalk.</p><p>It was exactly what I’d expected and disliked inside the nightclub lit up with neon tube lights: music so loud it nearly hurt to listen to until you became accustomed to it, people everywhere milling around with no sense of personal space, the smell of alcohol mixed with cologne and perfume and the flashing, strobing blue and green lights that were the only source of brightness in the place as they distorted the appearances of people due to the weird colour balance. Hanna stayed close to me, aware of my discomfort in such a crowd and not wanting to stray too far either, the two of us linking hands and making our way through the throng of people to the bar.</p><p>“What do you want to drink?” she shouted into my ear over the loud buzz as I wondered for the tenth time already why I’d ever agreed to this.</p><p>“Lemonade!” I shouted back while she ordered for us, smiling flirtatiously at the cute bartender. I took a sip of the clear liquid with ice that I was handed but it tasted like it had something else in it, something underlying and alcoholic. It didn’t taste too bad with the sugar of the soda taking the edge of bitterness off, though. So for the first time in over a decade, I drank.</p><p>It wasn’t long before Hanna was dragging me over to the dance floor by the hand, the drink making me feel strangely more confident as we begun to dance to the beat of the music together. The initial stages of my anxiety forcing me to feel like I was being judged and watched by strangers around us faded slowly as I became comfortable with the fact that nobody else cared that little old me was dancing like everybody else. The dress, despite being skimpy as hell, had also been a smart decision it turned out; it was sweltering in here from the combination of body heat, lights and equipment emanating warmth, causing us to sweat as we moved, giggling as we recognised songs and purposefully did small dance routines we remembered from when we had lived together years ago.</p><p>That would probably be the last time I’d been in a nightclub – over a decade ago, before Achievement Hunter, maybe even before even my long-term ex-boyfriend Ian and I had started dating and as the drinks flowed due to Hanna’s clear readiness to get totally plastered, I found myself feeling more and more pleasantly woozy as we lost ourselves to the exhilaration. I didn’t lose count of the amount of lemonades mixed what was apparently flavoured gin that I was drinking, but as the number rose I became aware of the way it was making me feel – there was a definite correlation between my drunkenness and my confidence and for the first time I had some insight into the reason that Geoff drank. It made you feel like a more extroverted ‘you’ and consequences didn’t matter so much. There was no overthinking about doing something, you just did it.</p><p>As we found seats near the bar again at a slightly wet table from someone’s past spilled drink, I glanced around to see that a guy was very obviously eyeing the pair of us up. Hanna noticed immediately and shouted into my ear that she was going to get his number, to which I just giggled in response as I watched her totter over and strike up a conversation that was mostly them leaning close to one another to hear each other and lip reading otherwise.</p><p>My phone buzzed in my purse so I pulled it out and blinked a few times to get the screen to come into proper focus.</p><p>
  <em>‘Streaming Spyro time trials, wanna join? - J’</em>
</p><p>Jeremy! I was briefly sort of sad that I wasn’t at home right now. I texted him back to tell him that I was currently out, so some other time hopefully. I checked my messages to see that I had others that I hadn’t noticed whilst out, opening them to see that Geoff had sent me a book recommendation as he occasionally did and my mother had asked how Hanna and I were doing. I was about to text them both back too, but as I looked back up to the bar I noticed that my sister and that guy were gone.</p><p>My stomach lurched. As good as I’d been feeling for the last few hours, she had been my coping mechanism, my comfort blanket. Now she had disappeared and I felt alone, vulnerable and way out of place, like someone had pulled the rug out from under me. I shoved my phone back into my purse and tried not to succumb to the rising feeling of panic as my eyes tried to pick her out amongst the crowd of strangers while my feet walked me to the exit door.</p><p>The night air hit me like a truck, the near-icy breeze biting at my heated legs and arms, even curling itself around my bare neck as it attempted to rapidly drag down my body temperature.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>Hanna, she was out here, a little way away. Thank God.</p><p>“Where did you go?” I demanded, walking carefully over to her and feeling a little unstable on my own feet. “I looked up and you were gone!”</p><p>The guy she was with smiled, a lit cigarette between his lips. “Hey, this your sister?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Hanna introduced me to the young man as I observed that his light eyes and hair caught the light of the streetlamps and glowing sign for the club. “This is Todd.”</p><p>The prior rush of adrenaline was beginning to make me feel sick, so I leaned on the rough wall, unable to give a damn how filthy it probably was in my state.</p><p>“You okay?” Hanna asked, suddenly visibly concerned. “I only came out here for a few minutes because Todd wanted to smoke, I wasn’t gonna abandon you.”</p><p>I nodded a bit. “Can we go home? It’s kinda late,” I requested, watching her check her own phone.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll ring for a cab,” she smiled. “Todd, call me okay? You’ve got my number.” She gave him a playful wink as he grinned back with a promise that he would.</p><p>The ride was short and my bed beckoned us as we stumbled together arm-in-arm up my apartment’s stairs and into my flat, where Hanna joined me on the other side of my double bed without even getting undressed. We did the bare minimum of locking the door and kicking off our shoes but other than that, we fell asleep fast where we were, exhaustion hitting us hard after a night of partying in celebration.</p><p>Until the next morning, I knew nothing but sleep until a knocking at my door roused me. Extremely groggily and with my head pounding, I lifted my head some way off of my pillow and listened to the pattern of the knocking. It was intent but not urgent, though it was definitely persistent. After a minute it stopped and was followed by the shrill ringing of my phone. With a groan, I reached for it and shut it off without thinking, just wanting to make the noise shut up.</p><p>Next to me, Hanna stirred and rolled off of the bed, stumbling to the bedroom door and out into my tiny flat where I heard her unlock and open my flat’s front door to whomever was there.</p><p>“Yo, Ryan’s here,” she called out to me, to which my eyes opened somewhat. I heard her explain where I was to him.</p><p>Last night I’d understood why people consumed alcohol. This morning I couldn’t understand why anybody would do it ever. Boy, what a rollercoaster.</p><p>“Jesus Christ, you two had a night.” I heard the amusement in his voice as he stood over me where I lay pretty much where I’d fallen asleep last night, still in my sister’s spangly dress. “I never took you to be the clubbing type.”</p><p>“’M’not,” I mumbled, hoping he would understand my attempt at English words. “S’dragged me.” I waved my arm groggily in Hanna’s direction.</p><p>“I thought I’d stop by and take you to breakfast. Got a little worried when you weren’t answering your door or phone,” Ryan explained as I felt the weight of him sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. "You're normally up by this time."</p><p>“She had a lot to drink,” Hanna commented, sounding weary but way more with-it than I felt currently.</p><p>“Drink?” There was exasperation in his voice as he responded. “She doesn’t drink.”</p><p>There was a pause that had I been feeling better, would have weighed on me more.</p><p>“She…what? At all?” Hanna was surprised. Had I never told her that? I supposed I’d never needed to. We hadn’t been together in person for years, conversations about drinking never really came up on the phone somehow and it wasn't as though I was opposed to it, I just didn't like the taste of the large majority of it. Even she had never really been that big on it but I didn’t really blame her for having some fun now that she was away from her abusive ex-fiancée.</p><p>“No, I’ve never seen her drink a drop.” I felt Ryan stroke my hair. “No wonder you feel like crap.”</p><p>“I’ll get you some water, sis. I’m so sorry, you should have told me when I ordered, I didn’t know! Fuck, I feel like the worst right now,” Hanna mumbled, walking off to clatter around a bit in my kitchen.</p><p>The hair stroking was nice, but the more aware of my body I became in my awakened state, the more nauseous I was starting to feel. Abruptly because the last thing I wanted to do was throw up where I was, I sprung out of bed and fell next door into my bathroom, dropping down to my knees in front of my toilet and emptying the contents of my stomach into it.</p><p>“It…was…my fault…for drinking,” I groaned, clutching my aching head as I leaned on the rim of the toilet pathetically. Why did Ryan have to turn up right now like the sweetheart he truly was when I was in this state? Now he would have the not-so-nice image of me not being able to handle my drink scorched into his mind forever. Awesome.</p><p>Hanna pushed a cold glass of water into my hand along with two small tablets I recognised to be Advil, which I took when I was feeling sure that I wasn’t going to vomit any more. Tiredly and weakly, I sat on the bathroom floor feeling pretty low while Ryan made toast. Plain and unbuttered, he handed me a slice with instruction to eat it in order to line my stomach so I did as I was told, aware that Hanna was watching on guiltily.</p><p>“You’ll feel better soon,” she said to me, drinking her own water and munching on some toast too.</p><p>My bathroom was tiny, so my kneeling at my toilet was basically me kneeling in the doorway to the living room/kitchen area at the same time. On the other side of the threshold, Ryan sat with his back against the wall beside me in moral support as he ate and I recovered slowly.</p><p>“And until you do, we can do whatever you want,” Ryan added. “If you wanna stay in today, we can stay in.”</p><p>I nodded a little, appreciating his presence a little more now that he seemed unperturbed by my throwing up. I supposed that having young children probably made you relatively immune to it.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Tease</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Does it count as ‘breaking the fourth wall’ if fanfic characters in a fanfic read a fanfic? Also, revenge is a dish best-served <b>hot</b>.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>When Hanna had vacated the bathroom after her own shower, I’d slid in instead to wash away the previous night. My hair washed and hanging damp down my back and donning nothing but a fluffy blue towel that was wrapped generously around me, I walked out to the living room where my sister had pulled on some sweats and an old t-shirt and was consulting Ryan on his opinion on something as they both stared at her phone. Her old cell sim card abandoned, she had a new number in it, meaning that despite all of the threatening messages she’d switched it back on to and had promptly deleted, she wouldn’t get any more from Dave ever again.</p><p>“He’s kind of…weird,” Ryan was saying while I headed into my bedroom to pull on something comfy. “It says he works at a pet place, but then it says lower down he doesn’t want to date someone with pets. Why would he work there if he doesn’t like animals?”</p><p>“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Hanna rolled her eyes dismissively. “What about him? He’s kinda cute right?”</p><p>“Sure, if you’re into piercings and tattoos.” Ryan shifted to lift and cross one leg over the other. “I mean, he could be a nice guy but he looks like he’s <em>made </em>of metal with those piercings.”</p><p>“What are you two doing?” I asked curiously from behind my bedroom door as I pulled on my lounge-around joggers.</p><p>“Tinder!” Hanna replied brightly and much to my amusement before she turned back to my boyfriend. “What do you think of him? D’you think he looks nice? I can kind of see him being a good guy…”</p><p>Ryan was shaking his head with a laugh. “I wouldn’t trust anyone who says they ‘like to party, dude’ on their dating profile. Is this guy really twenty-nine? He might be lying about that.”</p><p>“Ry, please tell her if she’s boring you,” I told him outright after pulling on a tank top, earning myself a grin from him in reply and a roll of her eyes from my sister. “And thanks for coming over, by the way. Sorry I ruined your morning plans.”</p><p>“Nah, don’t worry. I never dreamed you’d have been out drinking and clubbing last night,” Ryan replied with a raised eyebrow. “It’s a little out of character for you.”</p><p>“Well she sure looked great in my dress!” Hanna giggled, still swiping through guys on her phone. “We had fun, even if this morning’s been a little rocky for you, Sis.”</p><p>I shrugged with a nod because the majority of the night had turned out to be a good time and my head was feeling better now after the ibuprofen and food.</p><p>“Hope you behaved,” Ryan smirked at me, his expression beguiling. “I’m sure you had guys eying you up all night in that shiny thing you were wearing.”</p><p>“The dress?” I asked shyly, tucking my hair behind my shoulders with my hands as a way to avoid his eyes that seemed to x-ray me where I stood.</p><p>“Oh sure,” Ryan replied with a little sarcasm in his voice as he tilted his head to the side slightly, “that was a <em>dress</em>.”</p><p>“It was totally a dress,” Hanna shot back with a smile. “You just don’t know women’s fashion.”</p><p>“I’m not complaining that she was wearing it.” His eyes flicked over to where I was now standing in my kitchen area, making myself a nice cup of hot coffee with my little countertop machine. The playfulness in them was clear and a blush rose slightly in my cheeks as I considered what he had probably thought when he’d seen me in it earlier, despite the state I’d been in.</p><p>“It was pretty short, Han,” I commented fairly, stirring milk into my cup.</p><p>“That’s clubwear,” she shrugged. “You wouldn’t wear it out on the street because it’s revealing as fuck, but it’s fine for a club. Kind of like how you can’t wear a bikini in public unless it’s on a beach or at a pool.”</p><p>A chirpy ringtone issued from the phone she was holding so she picked up with only a moment’s hesitation.</p><p>“Hey Mom!” A pause. “No…no I’m not going back home. This is my home now.” Another pause. “I’m okay, really. I’m just…done with him.” Hanna bit her lip. “No. He…Mom, he was horrible. I’m not going to rekindle anything.” She got to her feet and took her conversation into my bedroom to have some privacy from presumably Ryan, because I was already fully aware that our mother was probably trying the tactic of trying to persuade her to make her engagement and future marriage work no matter what.  I wondered how much of the truth and reality my sister had told her about why she’d suddenly up and left him and fled down state to Austin; our mom was strict and conservative, but she wasn’t cold-hearted.</p><p>I sat down beside Ryan on my sofa holding my newly-made coffee, pushing my damp long hair back past my shoulders and shuffling a little to get comfortable before I realised that he was watching me.</p><p>“What?” I asked, smiling at his lack of subtlety.</p><p>“Nothing, you’re just cute,” he replied lightly, grabbing for my television remote as he switched on my top box to see what was on there that we could watch. “Feeling better?”</p><p>“Definitely better than an hour ago.” I leaned sideways into him a little for comfort, tucking my legs up as he slid an arm around my waist. A forty-minute episode of an American medical drama passed before Hanna reappeared, her cheeks wet with residual tears as she flopped down on my other side.</p><p>“I told her everything in detail” was all she said before going very quiet. Now <em>that</em> was brave. The tears she had shed clearly showed how hard it had been for her to do this since it must have dragged up the memories of the events as she described how she had been treated so terribly to help Mom understand. The shock I had felt when she had explained to me must have been nothing compared to the trauma of visualising every horrible incident all over again as the victim of the abuse.</p><p>“How did she respond?” I asked gently, sympathetically.</p><p>Hanna’s eyelashes blinked at me wetly as she attempted a tiny smile. “She said she was proud of me.”</p><p>***</p><p>The following week brought with it the promise of fun as the final week of November, though I couldn’t help feeling as though I was already ready for Thanksgiving weekend to begin when we’d get a break again – even though Hanna and I were flying our Mom out to my place for it, which would mean the stresses of making the dinner was on me this year. While I was a hard worker and always fought to release the content that I was responsible for on time, I also had a habit of burning myself out by working a little too hard and getting too wrapped up in my own relentless schedule on top of my official one from Rooster Teeth.</p><p>Let’s Plays were usually always fun to record, mostly a fan-favourite and what was more, it gave us the chance to relax for a while as we played, occasionally reminding one another to stick to the plan or get back on topic. Grand Theft Auto V (especially with its recent release onto Xbox One) and Minecraft were at the forefront for this with both of them having their own unique charm when it came to playing and commentating, the banter coming easily between us all as usual.</p><p>Lunch was a standard affair with everybody separating out to get their own food, with me heading to sit on the benches outside of the kitchen in the communal eating area for the building as I so often did. Barbara and Steffie were sniggering about something as I approached but they both oddly went very quiet as I sat down with them.</p><p>“Hey,” I greeted them, opening my box of chicken salad I’d brought from home and digging in hungrily. “What were you guys just talking about?”</p><p>With a bashful sort of smile, Barbara angled her phone away from me slightly. “Nothing, nothing. We weren’t reading <em>anything</em>.”</p><p>“Oh,” I replied lightly, pretending not to care, “okay then.” But as soon as she relaxed her grip on her cell I grabbed it right out of her grasp, holding it up over her head playfully. “I guess I’ll neeeever know!” I glanced at the screen, still unlocked and lit up.</p><p>Steffie giggled. “We weren’t looking for it, I swear. Someone linked it to us as a joke.”</p><p>I paused, absorbing what I was looking at. “You’re reading fanfiction?”</p><p>Now that their little secret was out Barbara grinned mischievously, leaning around to show me in better detail. “Look, someone has written out a date of Jon and Patrick! It’s adorable, even if it’s ridiculous.”</p><p>I scanned through the tame short story, smiling a little. It was super cutesy with lots of cuddling and ‘I really like you’s, along with sharing ice cream with one spoon near the end. It was admittedly very weird to read it about two people I knew personally, but if I detached from that it was pretty well-written.</p><p>“I’m not gonna show you one I found earlier about two other people,” Steffie sniggered. “That one was <em>explicit</em>.”</p><p>“Definitely not safe for work,” Barbara nodded amusedly, but all they were doing was peaking my curiosity.</p><p>“Two other people from here? Do people really write explicitly about us?” I was a little bemused; I’d never had a great amount of confidence about my body image, but I supposed that through someone else’s eyes I probably looked entirely different.</p><p>“Ohhhh yeah, extensively. There’s a whole category for different pairings of people, browse at your own risk. I’ve gotta run, talk later!” The tall Canadian blonde left her seat as Steffie finished her own food opposite me and I chewed thoughtfully on my salad.</p><p>“That’s kind of surreal to think about,” I mused. “Who’ve they paired me with?”</p><p>“Pretty much everyone,” Steffie giggled. “But if it makes you feel any better, the same thing has happened to quite a lot of us. Apparently there’s a very creatively-horny division of our fanbase.”</p><p>“Interesting.” My mind wandered as I begun to feel increasingly inquisitive but it would be pretty fucked up of me to read NSFW fanfics regarding people I knew, right? For a start, I wouldn’t be able to get past the out-of-character nuances and quirks, let alone spoken phrases and actions.</p><p>“There was one where you and Jack Pattillo had sex on a beach,” Steffie said casually, breaking me out of my thought process as I nearly choked on a piece of lettuce at this comment. “And then Gavin walked over and joined in.”</p><p>“Jesus- fuc-“ I coughed while she patted my back hard, mistaking my choking in surprise for laughing. I couldn’t ever imagine doing anything sexual on a public beach period, let alone with <em>Gavin and Jack </em>whom I viewed in no way other than platonically. And man, that sand would just get into places you wouldn’t want.</p><p>“Yeah I know, it’s weird, right?” she said in a cheery voice. “There was another one where they paired up Trevor and Jeremy and one was teasing the other and made them wait aaaall day to suck-“</p><p>“Christ I get it,” I giggled in interruption before taking a huge swig of my bottle of water as I noticed Ryan walk by us and back into the office. But she’d given me an idea. Unknowingly, she had just inspired a way to get back at Ryan for the times he’d teased me relentlessly – maybe it was time he had a taste of his own medicine, so to speak.</p><p>Finishing up my salad and wishing Steffie well for the rest of her day, I dashed to the toilets where I very swiftly removed my black lace panties before yanking my jeans back up and rebuttoning them. A quick check of my mirrored reflection revealed to me that apart from slightly tired, I looked okay for a Monday afternoon. Smiling slightly confidently and pocketing my panties, I shuffled a little so as not to cause the denim of my jeans to rub uncomfortably before strolling back down the corridor to the office.</p><p>Ryan was the first person back from dinner and was alone, thankfully. I shut the door firmly behind me, in a more confident mood than usual and wondering exactly how he might react to this with some trepidation.</p><p>“Hey Ry,” I said sweetly as he lounged in his desk chair facing away from his desk, still holding a bag of potato chips.</p><p>“Yo,” he replied, smiling a little. “You staying late tonight for work?” He reclined back leisurely as he spoke, discarding the now-empty packet and wiping his hands on a napkin.</p><p>“Not tonight,” I shook my head, approaching him slowly and standing in front of him to the point where he raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“You okay?” he asked, cocking his head a little as he observed me.</p><p>I needed to do this before anyone else came back from lunch if I was going to do this at all. My heart began to thump faster with a rush of exhilaration as what I was about to do raced through my head on fast-forward and before he could protest, I’d straddled his lap and was kissing his slightly salty lips, my hands in his hair and on his shoulder.</p><p>Clearly I’d surprised him, but he wasted no time in reciprocating the kiss as his hands slid down my sides to my hips while I smirked against his lips. He made a small, soft noise somewhere between a moan and a purr as I continued with increasing amounts of passion, moving my hips against his jeaned crotch slowly as I did so.</p><p>“What’s gotten you riled up?” Ryan murmured with a smirk, his eyes questioning but not in any way reluctant.</p><p>I bit my lip seductively, stroking the stubbly side of his face as I watched him. “The idea that you won’t be able to have what you want for hours.”</p><p>And there was that cocky, patented one-eyebrow-raise along with a challenging tone of voice to accompany it. “Oh really?”</p><p>“Mm.” I reached down to his crotch, stroking him there through his pants. “Really.”</p><p>“You’d better stop that,” he warned me with no conviction behind his words, his eyes not leaving mine.</p><p>“This is revenge for the plane flight,” I grinned as I felt him grip my ass a little harder. “You made me wait for <em>so long…”</em></p><p>“Hey, you got your reward for that…” Ryan replied.</p><p>Ever-so-slowly, I stroked back through his hair with my other hand and down the back of his neck gently whilst still feeling the bulge in his pants. “I still feel like revenge.”</p><p>“You’re heading straight towards being punished. I hope you know that,” he responded in a low voice that dripped with lust.</p><p>“What for?” I prompted innocently, running my hand up his chest now, under his shirt. Gratifyingly, his eyes closed briefly in what seemed to be longing as I did this, but they quickly opened to once again meet mine. “For teasing you, for not wearing any panties right now, or both?”</p><p>With a small chuckle, he gripped my hips tighter with his fingers. “Stand up.”</p><p>I paused and did nothing whilst still smiling innocently, so he half-lifted me firmly off of his lap and rose up too before walking me backwards by my shoulders until I hit the wall between the fanart corkboard and game storage bookcase. His mouth was on mine in an instant as he kissed me with such hunger that I wondered if he’d forgotten where we were as he pressed himself against me, clearly aroused.</p><p>“What happened to doing as you’re told like a good girl?” he murmured, his fingernails digging into the skin of my sides tauntingly.</p><p>“Maybe I didn’t feel like it today,” I breathed, his dominance intoxicating me as always.</p><p>His reply was a little gravelly as he scratched my sides a little, though nowhere near to the extent that he would in the bedroom. “So instead you thought you’d act like a horny little slut?”</p><p>A small whimper escaped my lips before he returned to kissing them fiercely, pinning me where I stood while I could only clutch at his sides and think about the fact that while I’d accomplished what I’d wanted – I’d teased him and was now going to make him wait – I had also screwed myself in the process. And he wasn’t going to let that go.</p><p>“Ry, I-“ I gasped as he moved his lips away from mine.</p><p>“I’m taking you home tonight,” he whispered firmly in interruption, knowing that I wouldn’t object as I closed my eyes in pleasure at the sensation of his gentle biting and kissing on the skin of the side of my neck now. “That way I can spank your ass and then fuck you until you forget your own name.”</p><p>I groaned quietly at this in reply because of my current lack of being able to form a coherent sentence.</p><p>Footsteps outside the office door brought our attentions back to reality in a snap. Ryan stepped away from me sharpish and swiftly sat down at his desk to hide his erection while I took a deep breath, still leaning backwards on the wall and clenching my fists a little in wanting. There was just something about the way his presence and attitude along with the words he chose that melted me.</p><p>Geoff entered the room holding a takeaway coffee cup he’d clearly left the studio lot to buy. He placed it down on his desk before he removed his long dark green scarf, but when his eyes flicked from Ryan over to me mere metres away, a slow grin of recognition crept onto his face. Obviously he was noticing how I was probably blushing combined with the pink hue on Ryan’s cheeks as he purposefully avoided his boss’ gaze.</p><p>Never one to make bones about anything, he outright asked, “You two just got it on in here, didn’t you?”</p><p>Ryan and I were saved from having to reply to a question with an obvious answer because Jack strolled back in at that moment while I took several steps back over to my desk chair to sit down heavily on it. I made a serious effort to feel less hot-and-bothered by taking another deep breath and attempting to compose myself by drinking some water and clearing my throat a bit, but Ryan merely smirked sideways in response to this, knowing exactly how uncomfortable I was right now.</p><p>“You’re in so much trouble,” he murmured in a very quiet voice in my direction as Jack sat down on my other side, having luckily not heard a word of this.</p><p>I simply gave him a would-be innocent smile in return.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Punished</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan is responsible and caring when it comes to his dominance.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The rest of the day passed at a crawl with the promise of what was to come later tantalisingly just out of reach as Ryan and I cooled off a little, resuming the afternoon’s Minecraft Let’s Play based off of the idea of ‘finding the Tower Of Pimps’, which Geoff had hidden within our Achievement City world somewhere on surface-level. The catch was that as usual, he had also created a bunch of decoy towers to trick us and get our hopes up from a distance, but only the person who found the true tower of four gold blocks and one obsidian block would be the actual winner.</p><p>With all of us armed with diamond pickaxes, we set out to find it, maps in hand as we picked a direction to run in and went with it, keeping our eyes peeled.</p><p>“Team Nice Dynamite?” Gavin asked hopefully, but Michael laughed and shot him down immediately.</p><p>“Fuck that, I wanna win!”</p><p>“I should mention that it isn’t always gonna be day,” Geoff grinned, using his game moderator privileges to fly around and observe. “It’s gonna get dark.”</p><p>This added an interesting element as always; you could either plough on and hope you found the tower quickly whilst running from and fighting through enemies, or you could stop and try to survive properly but risk losing time to someone who was employing the former tactic. Nobody could sleep to skip the dangers of the night since the game mechanics required everybody to sleep at the same time and there was no way that level of cooperation was happening.</p><p>“Are we…saving…?” Jack asked hesitantly after a couple of minutes. “Because my house is on fire.”</p><p>“Of course it is,” Michael replied matter-of-factly. “It wasn’t me but I’m not surprised.”</p><p>“I bet it was Gavin because you upset him, Michael,” Ray chortled.</p><p>“No, we’re not saving,” Geoff sighed, knowing that this statement would only invite more chaos. “Stop being assholes.”</p><p>After a couple of hours of us all hunting the world high and low, finding numerous entirely false towers and a couple that were ‘close’ in design but not the actual tower, Ray won the Achievement Hunter honour of having the in-game T.O.P outside of his in-game dirt house. He proudly erected it and we ended the recording, making sure that our respective recordings were saved properly for future editing.</p><p>It had begun to gently snow outside, with huge flakes swirling in the wind from the grey sky and settling on the freezing ground. Wrapping my jacket around me tighter, I walked with Ryan to his car and as we climbed in, he started the engine and turned up the heat a little.</p><p>“It got cold fast,” I shivered, glad to be out of the icy wind. “Bit early for snow.”</p><p>“It is for Texas,” he nodded in agreement, pulling out of the parking lot carefully. “It probably won’t settle.”</p><p>“Hope not.” I pulled my phone out of my bag and scrolled through it to see that Hanna had texted me back.</p><p><em>‘Interview went great! They asked when I can start.’</em> This was accompanied by a snap of her smiling and wearing a smart black pantsuit, her above shoulder-length dark wavy hair tucked behind one ear neatly.</p><p>Wow, she could seriously impress when she wanted to. She’d probably confidently strolled into that office and given them a list of professional and personable reasons why she’d be ideal for the job, all the while persuading them that nobody else was worth hiring. Sometimes she had the air of someone that I aspired to be with the ability to hide my nerves and present myself with such poise. As it was, I found it very difficult to hide my anxiety.</p><p>I congratulated her genuinely with lots of heart and thumbs-up emojis before tucking my phone back away, gazing out of my window as Ryan drove us to my place to pick up an overnight bag while he waited in the car. My thoughts were racing wild; I knew that he was going to push me only as far as I wanted to go, but a part of me was a little afraid. Sure, spanking wasn’t new to me but I wondered what else he had in mind considering I was going to be at his mercy, alone in his house with him once again.</p><p>Returning to the car, I felt the need to bring up what I was thinking as we continued to drive.</p><p>“You’re pretty kinky,” I stated outright, watching him smile as he kept his eyes on the road.</p><p>“You’re one to talk.”</p><p>He had a fair point, but I was newer to this than he seemed to be. “I was just wondering…in general…how far you’re planning to go with it.”</p><p>There was a pause as we stopped at an intersection and he glanced at me briefly.</p><p>“D’you want a list?”</p><p>My eyes widened a little. How much more was there when it came to what he wanted to do to and with me?  </p><p>He chuckled a little at my reaction as he flicked his turn signal and we turned right. “I’m not going to force you into anything. I’ve told you before that the second you tell me to stop, I will. That’s why we have a safe word.”</p><p>I nodded, knowing this. I did trust him, but the butterflies in my stomach had awoken and were fluttering around sporadically. He was implying that no matter how he acted or what he said, I was still equally as in control of what was happening to my own body. He was telling me that things would only happen if I let them happen and that I could stop it at any time. He was indicating that he cared more about how I felt than his own gratification and all of this comforted me.</p><p>The radio played quietly in the background as the sun descended the sky while we pulled up into Ryan’s neat suburban neighbourhood, my heart thumping as he parked up and we trailed inside his spacious, tidy home. He dropped his keys on to his coffee table as he removed his jacket, catching my eye.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded, smiling a little. “I’m good.”</p><p>“You look a little…worried,” he responded, hanging his jacket up in the hallway as I hung up mine too. “I know I’ve said before that it’s cute that I make you nervous, but I don’t want you to actually be scared of me.”</p><p>“I’m not,” I replied truthfully as I flopped down onto his sofa with a small giggle. “I’m only afraid of needles, drowning and thunderstorms.”</p><p>Ryan grinned, sitting beside me and pulling me into his embrace playfully. “Well I can reassure you right now that I don’t have a kink for any one of those things, if it helps.”</p><p>“On the off-chance that you were going to pull a needle out of that bondage drawer upstairs next to your bed and pretend to be Doctor Haywood, it does help actually,” I giggled, watching amusement cross over his features.</p><p>“It’s not a <em>bondage drawer,</em>” he responded with a laugh. “It’s just my nightstand where I keep a couple of things. A lot of it is boring. Also…I wasn’t planning on playing Doctor, unless you want me to.” His eyebrow rose.</p><p>“Uh…” Boy, roleplay was a whole other avenue. “What’s in the drawer that isn’t boring?” I asked curiously, prodding him for information.</p><p>“I’ll show you if you want.”</p><p>Remembering from last time which door was his bedroom upstairs, I stepped inside and made my way over to the bed where I sat down on the edge as he slid open the drawer and I peered in. There were a few books, his glasses and a small bag of disposable pairs of prescription contact lenses, a few condoms, a glossy magazine on modern technology and the black rope he’d used on me before next to the small flip knife. Something else caught my eye immediately though – a small black velvet bag with a red drawstring.</p><p>“I ordered this recently,” he explained, lifting it out and pulling out what was inside; a thin purple chain with two adjustable alligator clips at either end. This caused <em>me</em> to raise an eyebrow for once.</p><p>“Jesus, Ryan.”</p><p>His mouth lifted into a smirk as he shrugged a little. “You seem to love it when I play with your nipples and that gave me the idea.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t this…hurt, though?” I asked curiously, taking it from him and experimenting with the rubber-coated clips on my pinkie finger. Each one had a little adjustable wheel on the side to control how far they closed, meaning you could dictate the exact amount of pressure desired and with this understanding of how they worked, I wasn’t against trying them out.</p><p>“Only as much as you want it to hurt,” he replied devilishly, placing the chain on the nightstand’s surface with a clatter before his fingers went to the hem of my blue t-shirt, lifting it off over my head. “But I believe I promised you a spanking, so you’d better take off those jeans.”</p><p>Coyly, I slid purposefully slowly out of them while he watched and draped them over the chair in the corner before sauntering back to the bed.</p><p>“You really meant it when you said you weren’t wearing panties?” He sounded surprised as I knelt on the edge of the mattress and bit my lip while he slid his hands slowly down my bare sides to my ass after unhooking and discarding my bra and eyeing the choker I was still wearing as usual nowadays. “I didn’t think you were being serious earlier but goddamn you’re sexy.”</p><p>“Oh I was being serious,” I said firmly as he indicated with a hand gesture that I should rotate to face away from him and then bend over so that I was on all fours, extremely vulnerable to him now as he stood behind me and stroked lightly down the skin of my back as I arched a little at the touch.</p><p>“Dip your back,” he prompted gently, knowing that my doing so meant that my ass would stick out more. He trailed his hand smoothly down to it and rested it there for a few seconds before planting a hard slap.</p><p>I squeaked very slightly but said nothing as I stayed still for him to repeat it, again and again. He started off not too hard, but as he gauged what my tolerance level was he increased the pressure, alternating between both cheeks and admiring the way that the skin there was turning nicely pink.</p><p>At thirty seconds or so, I was squirming slightly. The stinging was sending involuntary zaps of pleasure through me in response and I could already tell that though it hurt in a bearable way, I was definitely wet from this after hardly any time at all.</p><p>“What are you learning from this?” he asked, stroking softly over my heated ass as he gave me a few seconds’ break.</p><p>“Not to tease you and leave you waiting, obviously,” I replied smartly, earning myself another hard slap as punishment for my tone.</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“And not to be a dirty slut?” I answered, playing along with exactly what I figured he wanted me to say.</p><p>“Mhm.” Apparently satisfied, he continued.  “And especially for not wearing panties in the office and making me hard during working hours, filthy girl.”</p><p>I gasped a little as the build-up of the repeated slaps began to reach levels of feeling pretty uncomfortable, causing a small whine to leave my lips while he hesitated briefly but still carried on, presumably wondering if I was going to say the word ‘red’, but I was getting lost in allowing him to punish me and had no such intention despite my small soft whimpers.</p><p>“I can’t help it that you bring it out in me,” I breathed, recoiling a little as the next slap stung more than the last.</p><p>Stopping to kneed my now-reddened ass with his hands soothingly, Ryan chuckled. “So this is my fault? Stop arching your back up.” He ran a hand down my spine to remind me to dip my back again.</p><p>“Yes.” I knew I was being defiant while I adjusted my position to comply, but to hell with it.</p><p>Ryan tutted playfully, continuing to spank me while I groaned and bared it. With one final slap, he eventually uttered the words, “Lie down.”</p><p>Slowly I did so, realising just how sore I actually was at the work of his hand now that I was laying on my back and the duvet beneath me was brushing against the sensitive skin of my ass. I smiled up at him as he shed his shirt and ran his fingers down to my crotch, where his smirk broadened at the discovery that I was extremely turned on from the pain.</p><p>I writhed against his touch, desperately wanting him to fill me with the obvious hardness that his jeans were containing but he was reaching over towards the nightstand instead. With deliberate care, he used his fingers to stimulate one of my nipples and then the other, clamping the clips onto them as I breathed hard at the strange, oddly pleasant and new sensation. With them clipped lightly, he twisted the small adjust dials on the sides to tighten them gradually, observing me for my reaction as he did so. I moaned quietly as I felt the pressure increase until they pinched, watching as he draped the cold metal chain connected between the two across my abdomen.</p><p>“Oh God,” I groaned, squirming a little as he undressed from what little he was still wearing and finally straddled me, pressing his dick against my wetness and pushing in as I lifted my legs up a bit for him to go deeper.</p><p>Clearly he was determined to have some self-control and make this last because while he thrusted hard, he was keeping a pace that was making me beg for more and I could tell it was testing his willpower as I clawed at him. I wanted him so badly that I didn’t even care how depraved and desperate I might have sounded in that moment as I pleaded with him to fuck me faster.</p><p>With his hands, he found mine and pinned them up either side of my head to keep me a little more still, his eyes full of desire as I moaned his name and closed my eyes, tilting my head back against the pillow. Possibly he had also done this because my scratching him was riling him up even more too.</p><p>“Who d’you belong to?” he demanded softly, leaning down to bite at my heated exposed neck around my black choker as he drove into me.</p><p>“You,” I whimpered in his ear, lost in the pleasurable agony of submission and sex while he bit slightly harder, eliciting a loud whine from me before he replaced the pain with soft kisses in the same spot. My hands curled against his as I fought to keep still, my mind shutting out everything except the current sensations I was feeling as we both sweated.</p><p>His encouragement for me to moan louder for him and the way that he used a single finger to playfully and lightly tug downwards at the chain connecting the clamps still on my nipples was causing a fresh bolt of fire to soar south through me and was pushing me so close to an edge I couldn’t quite jump off of without additional stimulation to my clit. It was all I could do to focus on trying to get him off in the hope that he would do the same for me afterwards.</p><p>“Ryyy…” He was kissing me now between breaths, nipping at my lower lip as his control began to leave him and his pace significantly increased, causing a wave of fresh pleasure to wash over me as he groaned my name and found his release inside of me, his hands once again pinning mine possessively as he fucked me until he was done.</p><p>“Goddamn,” he gasped as I moaned because he was tweaking the chain again. “You’re such a sexy little bitch.”</p><p>A naughty grin lit up my face as he begun to trail kisses down my abdomen, across my stomach and to the top of my thigh, raising goosebumps on my skin despite how worked up I was while he pushed my willing legs wide with his palms.</p><p>I swore and gripped the sheets either side of my hips with clenched fists as I felt his tongue delve into my pussy while he used the fingers of one hand to spread me for easy access to my clit. He watched me as he did this - the way I was trying not to writhe and squirm, the way I was trembling and trying to keep my legs apart and the way that the concentrated pleasure was turning me to a mush of panting his name. He chose that moment to reach up and free my nipples from their clamps, causing a sudden nice but hot sensation to spread through them.</p><p>“I need to come,” I pleaded, my forehead damp with perspiration.</p><p>“I bet you do,” he smirked, still working his tongue. “But not until I say.”</p><p>The building need that I was so helpless to resist was rising fast and I very much doubted that I could hold back as he trailed the fingers of one hand a short way down my thigh and then dug his nails into my flesh.</p><p>“I’m so close,” I whined in warning, squirming a little and causing him to stop abruptly.</p><p>“Don’t make me spank your ass again,” he chuckled, meeting my eyes before flicking his tongue over my clit once again, repeatedly.</p><p>Imploring him with my eyes, I attempted to do as I was told to avoid further punishment but the problem was that everything he was saying was only pushing me closer - something which I suspected he knew full-well and was taking advantage of right now.</p><p>I was trying so hard not to let it take me, but I was struggling. Whether it was because he sensed that I physically couldn’t hold back from my orgasm any more or whether it was because he was feeling merciful, he finally uttered the words I needed to hear:</p><p>“Come for me.”</p><p>And I did, writhing and with a scream as he pinned me by my thighs to stop me moving too much, his mouth still on my pussy. His lips curled into a smirk as he lifted his head when I finally came down from my high and relaxed. I was completely spent as he lay beside me with a contented sigh, reaching out to hold me which I gladly accepted.</p><p>“Fuck.” It was all I could think of to say and as I felt his chest move a little with a small laugh, I smiled too.</p><p>“I think that sums it up,” he replied in a low voice, caressing a thumb over each of my nipples in turn. “You’re so fun to play with.”</p><p>I smirked up at him, reaching to stroke his face. “Feel free to buy more toys. I trust you.”</p><p>“Hm, well,” Ryan paused, sliding a hand lightly down my back and causing me to squirm ticklishly away from it and therefore up against him in turn as he grinned with mischief in his eyes. “I was thinking about getting Geoff involved next time.”</p><p>The idea of that revelation caused me to melt.</p><p>Ryan carried on, knowing that he had my unwavering attention. “I feel like you’d enjoy that, especially since you let him choke you in the shower the other week.”</p><p>“You know about that?” I asked, surprised he hadn’t brought it up sooner.</p><p>“Sure. And about the three times you came,” he replied with a slightly hungry look as I became fixated by his gaze. “I feel like if we tried, between us we could ruin you.”</p><p>“Jesus,” I mumbled, filled with fresh desire at the thought. “I…um…”</p><p>“I have a feeling you won’t object,” he smirked in reply, correct in his assumption as he stroked a finger under my chin and I cuddled closer to him with no words left to say.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Ex</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Your mom visits for Thanksgiving and unfortunately, she's pretty judgemental.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I awoke the following morning early at around six-thirty and in a comfortable state of half-sleepiness but was almost leaning off of the edge of the bed due to Ryan having decided to ‘starfish’ in his sleep. Somehow, he had managed to drag most of the duvet away from me at the same time which considering that I was naked and the room was chilled, annoyed me. Grumpily, I rolled over towards him and attempted to shuffle him back on to his side, but to no avail. Instead, I settled for yanking the covers back over myself as he made a sort of groaning noise in response.</p><p>“Morning to you too,” he mumbled, pulling them back again, much to my irritation.</p><p>“You’re taking up more than half the bed,” I complained sleepily.</p><p>“I’m bigger than you,” he replied stubbornly.</p><p>I lay there for a minute with minimal duvet, his inconsiderate positioning forcing me almost to the point of falling out of bed.</p><p>“Rye-bread, if you don’t move I’ma smother you with a pillow,” I groaned, really wanting to fall back to sleep because I knew that my alarm wasn’t due to go off until seven and I had a precious thirty minutes or so until I had to get up for work. “I swear. I’ll do it.”</p><p>“You won’t,” he replied as I pulled at the sheet tiredly again before giving up.</p><p>Determined to follow through on my threat no matter how exhausted I was, I dragged my pillow out from under my head and flopped it over his face.</p><p>“Alright fine, c’mere,” he chuckled, moving it and pulling me close against him, surprising me with how warm his hands were. “If you were cold, you should have just said.”</p><p>I merely stroked his chest gently and traced the line of his treasure trail downwards a little way. It felt like I had barely fluttered my eyelids closed before my phone was shrilly prompting us to wake up, its incessant cheery tone a typical ‘morning alarm’ that honestly made me want to launch it out of an open window. I’d read in the past that if you had an alarm that was softer and more melodic that you were likely to wake up in a better mood, but I definitely didn’t believe that. If anything, it irritated me more than the traditional alarm clock noises with its patronising dulcet dinging.</p><p>I felt Ryan stretch beside me with a huge yawn before I felt a hand in my hair. A smile lit up my tired face immediately at his affectionate touch as I reached for my phone to shut it up.</p><p>“Hey,” he grinned at me.</p><p>“Duvet-stealer.” I poked my tongue out at him playfully, wishing we could just fall back to sleep together.</p><p>“I’m used to sleeping alone.”</p><p>“Obviously,” I replied dryly, sitting up slowly. I’d warmed up in his arms but the air in the room was cold, despite the heat having been on for some of the night which was an unusual circumstance in November for Austin. Despite being completely in my birthday suit, I climbed out of bed and crossed the room to the window curiously because I needed to check something as my suspicions rose. My hand drew the curtain aside and I leaned on the sill, gazing out across the roads and paths which were – as I’d guessed after the very light snowfall last night – frosted, like someone had sprinkled icing dust along them. They were by no means covered in snow or anything, but it did explain why it felt so freezing.</p><p>“Nice view,” Ryan smirked from the bed, referring probably not to the actual view but his view of me as he sat up in bed.</p><p>I shut the curtain and walked over to the bedroom door. Casting him a sly smile, I watched him as he made no attempt not to stare at my breasts.</p><p>“I need a shower.” Across the hall was the bathroom, all clean white tile and porcelain white toilet and tub. I’d barely even slid open the rounded glass shower door when I heard Ryan walk in behind me and follow me straight in with no invitation needed.</p><p>Early as it was and as tired as we were, there were brief playful moments of us washing one another with soap somewhat flirtatiously but mostly we were just looking forward to breakfast. He dug out a hairdryer for me to use because I’d probably freeze to death if I let my long thick hair dry naturally in the current weather and he dressed and then made us toast while I made myself look presentable.</p><p>My phone was already buzzing with messages from all sorts of people as usual and while I ate, I did my best to reply to them as Ryan picked up a call from Laurie, the mother of his two children. I heard him discussing his work schedule with her in the living room while I picked up my other slice of toast in the kitchen at the table, scrolling my social media homepages on my phone at the same time with my other hand. Twitter was full of pictures of the unusual weather, last night’s game streams and random status updates from people I knew and followed, but I also noticed that I had a direct message too.</p><p>
  <em>‘Missed you babe. It’s been a long time.’</em>
</p><p>I frowned, confused. I wished I could have stayed confused rather than doing what I did in opening the can of worms, but unfortunately I was far too inquisitive for my own good sometimes so I tapped the profile to open it up.</p><p>Ian Davis. The first person I’d ever fallen in love with years ago. My long-term boyfriend from before Achievement Hunter and Texas. The guy who had broken my heart because he hadn’t wanted to move with me when I’d made the hardest decision of my life so far at that point and had chosen my job over him. I remembered the way we had both cried as I decided to follow my career and he wistfully told me he needed to stay where he was for his family.</p><p>I’d felt so low when I’d flown on my own out here when I first started that I remembered Lindsay and Barbara thinking it was due to me feeling out of place and shy from being new. They’d so kindly done everything they could to make me feel welcome while the guys had done the same in their own ways, all of us becoming fast friends. Jack in particular had been very much like a father figure to me for a long time and being born and raised in Austin meant that he was super familiar with the area, leading him to helping me to find a place and settle in properly.</p><p>My thumb hesitated over the on-screen keyboard on the reply screen. After all this time, he was really telling me he’d missed me? It was difficult to discern in what way he meant it too from mere text. Did he mean he missed my company or did he mean he missed being <em>with </em>me in a relationship?</p><p>
  <em>‘It’s been a while for sure. How’re things?’</em>
</p><p>I hit ‘send’, unsure really what it was that I was doing. All I knew was that while my deep feelings for him had faded over the years as I’d moved on in my new life, I had never emotionally written him out of my mind completely. We hadn’t stayed in contact though, so I’d always kind of assumed he’d found someone new.</p><p>His reply came quickly as I vaguely registered that Ryan was still on his phone in the other room.</p><p>
  <em>‘Alright. I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately. Still in Austin?’</em>
</p><p>My answer was equally as prompt.</p><p>
  <em>‘Yeah, still here, following dreams. How’s your Grams?’</em>
</p><p>Munching on my toast still, I watched as the ‘pending’ appeared on my screen meaning that he was typing right now.</p><p>
  <em>‘She passed away last month. Still hurting. But nothing stopping me from coming to Texas now to find the love of my life.’</em>
</p><p>Sympathy filled me deeply before it was replaced by guilt and nerves in my very next breath. I didn’t want him to suddenly just turn up here. I didn’t want that part of my life to come back, not since I’d healed from it and had found happiness with Geoff and Ryan. Hadn’t Ian moved on from me too after around the four years it had been?</p><p>
  <em>‘Maybe you’ll find the right person exactly where you are.’ </em>
</p><p>Tactful. Smooth, even. Or knowing me, probably not either of those things and I was just an idiot for even continuing this conversation with my ex.</p><p>
  <em>‘I think I already found the right person and foolishly let her go years ago.’</em>
</p><p>My breath caught in my throat as I clattered my phone down on the kitchen table a little harder than was necessary. I really couldn’t deal with this right now and as I stood up to rinse my plate clean of crumbs, I heard Ryan return to the room behind me and sit down at the table.</p><p>“I have my kids this evening,” he stated, sipping at a glass of water. Laurie was a veterinarian, meaning that she was often on-call and on unpredictable shift patterns requiring her to hand off her kids to their father whenever he was available, or else she would have to use a nanny. Mostly though, Ryan did his best from what I’d seen because he usually missed them and wanted to be as much a part of their lives as he had been when he’d still been married to their mother and living in the same house as them.</p><p>“Aww,” I replied, my mind still whirring from the messages. I must have seemed distracted but he didn’t comment on it as he ate quietly, browsing his own phone now.</p><p>The main roads were totally clear of ice as we drove in to the Rooster Teeth studios parking lot, arriving a little before nine. I still had time to make myself coffee so I headed towards the kitchen whilst stifling a yawn and nearly walked right into Miles and Kerry who had been clearly helping themselves to our coffee as usual. Like two schoolboys caught in the act, they grinned sheepishly at me whilst clutching their mugs of hot joe.</p><p>“’Sup?” I greeted the pair of them, thankful that they’d left some coffee in the pot or I might have to have stolen one of their cups out of their hands.</p><p>“I’d be better if it warmed back up,” Miles shrugged. “I don’t like the cold.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s weird that we got a frost last night, huh?” I commented conversationally. “What are you two up to today?”</p><p>“RWBY stuff,” Kerry replied, because the two of them were co-writers for the animated show. “We just came over here because you guys have proper coffee. Uh…what happened to your neck?”</p><p><em>Shit. </em>Had I even looked in the mirror this morning whilst I’d gotten dressed? I’d gotten so used to doing my choker up without it now that I wasn’t sure I had and upon remembering the way that Ryan had bitten me last night during our throes of passion, I was pretty confident that the two guys staring at me currently were referencing the obvious dark love bite there.</p><p>“No idea,” I replied hopefully innocently while I added sugar and milk to my coffee. “And we have proper coffee because it’s <em>my</em> coffee.”</p><p>Looking slightly guilty, Kerry blushed a little. “Thanks then, I guess?”</p><p>“It’s fine,” I grinned, shaking my head and walking back down the steps in the direction of the office with my own mug. “See you later, guys.”</p><p>“Last one here!” Michael announced as I sat down at my desk and switched on my computer, plopping my stuff down and shuffling with my hoodie to try to somewhat hide my neck. I was very lucky that the mark was on the left side because that meant that unless anyone looked specifically, only Ryan and Geoff to my left would be able to see it.</p><p>“I needed caffeine,” I replied casually, clicking around on my desktop before switching on my Xbox One.</p><p>“Oh, by the way,” Geoff said, leaning backwards in his chair to look at me past Ryan. “I spoke to Erik downtown and he booked you in for next week after Thanksgiving weekend.”</p><p>“Booked you in for what?” Ray asked curiously from across the room.</p><p>“A tattoo,” I answered him as the others looked at me in faint surprise.</p><p>“Aren’t you shit with needles though?” Gavin asked bluntly and entirely correctly with a small laugh.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” I nodded.</p><p>“It’s not that bad, I promise you that,” Jack reassured me gently from my right. “I can come with you if you want.”</p><p>“It’s okay, Geoff’s coming with me for moral support,” I shrugged, smiling.</p><p>“You trust Geoff for that?” Michael joked. “He’s basically numb to tattoo needles now, look at him! He won’t comfort you, he’ll probably just tell you to suck it up.”</p><p>“Hey asshole, I can be supportive,” Geoff grinned at him.</p><p>“When Millie fell over earlier this year and hurt her knee you told her to brush it off and stop being a baby,” Gavin pointed out as I begun to giggle, recalling the telling of this incident afterwards.</p><p>“She only scraped her knee, she didn’t break her fuckin’ neck,” Geoff shrugged nonchalantly. “She’s a tough cookie.”</p><p>“Eh, kids are resilient,” Ryan pointed out in backup of this comment as the only other dad in the room. “She probably forgot all about it a few days after. Plus, kids don’t have as far down to fall because they’re little.”</p><p>Jack nodded in agreement. “That’s very true. Millie falls over and it hurts a bit. <em>I </em>fall over and I break my goddamn face.”</p><p>“Or the pavement,” Michael added in a snarky tone in reference to Jack’s weight, but the older gent merely gave him the finger.</p><p>“Look, let’s be real for a minute,” I smirked. “None of you are the kinds of people that would hold my hand in comfort while I got inked, except maybe Jack. Maybe I should ask Lindsay instead…”</p><p>“Where are you getting it, anyway?” Michael asked. “Please tell me it’s not going to be a tramp stamp.”</p><p>“It is, she’s getting her Chinese takeout order tattooed on her lower back,” Ray sniggered.</p><p>“God no,” I cracked up laughing. “It’s going…sort of here,” I pointed at the area below my left boob.</p><p>“Isn’t that where you got shot?” Jack inquired, tilting his head a little.</p><p>“Yes,” I replied. “That’s the reason for it.”</p><p>***</p><p>The next couple of days passed without incident. I didn’t respond to Ian’s confession of his feelings still being there for me, nor did I entertain it in my mind during the busy week. Thursday was Thanksgiving with Hanna having picked Mom up from the airport in her newly-acquired second-hand car the evening before and the two of us accepting the responsibility of cooking dinner on the day of. Everyone in our office had basically gone home for the holidays, including Michael and Lindsay who had gone to Michael’s parents for Thanksgiving this year according to their social media.</p><p>I hadn’t gone too ridiculous with the size of the turkey considering that there would only be three of us, but my flat was currently beginning to smell incredible as the bird roasted and I chopped and prepared vegetables and potatoes. It wasn’t long before Mom was insisting on helping us and generally being her usual self; sweet until the thorns came out.</p><p>“It’s so fantastic see you both again,” she smiled, her green eyes twinkling as Hanna and I started to feel how we always did when we were around her – like teenagers again. It was a strangely disconcerting feeling whilst simultaneously being oddly comforting, like now that our mom was here she was in charge. I’d given up my bed to her out of respect, setting up an airbed in the living room for myself.</p><p>“It’s good to see you while I’m not laying in a hospital bed,” I replied with a grin as she shot me a sympathetic look, since that had been the last time I’d seen her in person.</p><p>“Oh I know dear, I told Gracie about that,” she replied, chopping carrots and having effectively taken over from what I was doing entirely as she detailed how she’d told her friends all about my traumatic gunshot incident weeks ago while Hanna rolled her eyes in the background and I tried not to laugh. Mom’s living room was host to her gossip haven social club once a week, so it didn’t surprise me that I’d been the hot topic recently.</p><p>I washed the freshly-peeled potatoes in the colander under the faucet instead before tipping them into the pan of water on the stove, ready for later.</p><p>“Have you met any nice men at your new work place yet, Hanna?”</p><p>There was a pause as Hanna made a small noise somewhere between surprise and exasperation at our mother broaching the topic of relationships even sooner than we’d predicted. “I’ve been there for exactly one day so far.”</p><p>“Well, and?” my mom replied slyly. “It’s all about chemistry dear and you need to get yourself back out there, after all.”</p><p>This time my sister rolled her eyes in front of her. “Not yet.”</p><p>“What about you, hm? You work with plenty of men, don’t you?” Her eyes flicked to me, as if ready to scrutinize whatever excuse she expected me to give.</p><p>“I uhm…yes.” My honesty was going to be a slippery slope, because I really didn’t feel as though I was ready to detail my love life to my mother. In fact, I very much doubted that <em>she </em>was ready. I chose my words carefully. “I’m seeing someone.”</p><p>“Oh well that’s lovely! How have you never mentioned him to me?” she asked, dramatically holding a hand to her chest. “He had better be treating you right, young lady.”</p><p>“It’s great.” I cleared my throat a little uncomfortably as Hanna had the decency to remain quiet.</p><p>“And is he respectable?”</p><p>I tried not to laugh, biting my lip hard in effort. My mother would so clearly be horrified if she knew the truth even though by all accounts, both Geoff and Ryan were amazing and respectable in most people’s eyes including mine. They just probably wouldn’t pass my mom’s test by default because the idea of polyamory was not one that she was going to be fond of.</p><p>“Well he’s a little older than me,” I replied honestly, gauging her reaction.</p><p>“How much older?” she inquired lightly, still not seeming overly bothered yet as she tipped chopped carrots into a separate pan of water on the stove.</p><p>I decided to go with Geoff’s age, since he was about fifteen years older than me and I figured I may as well stick as closely to the truth as possible. Also, if you’re going to dip your toe in the water you may as well go swimming, right?</p><p>“Hmm,” she replied after I’d done the age maths aloud with birth years. “That’s a little old for you, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Not really,” I answered her. “It doesn’t matter to me.”</p><p>Mom pursed her lips a little in obvious disapproval. “What does he look like?”</p><p>And there it was; she was trying to gauge how good of a person my partner was and how ‘suitable’ he was for me by his appearance. She had done it before and it irritated me because it would often lead to her judging them way before even meeting them and with me being stubborn, it made me want to point out all of the things about them that I knew she would hate just to get one over on her because none of it was anything to goddamn do with her.</p><p>Call me childish in that respect, I guess.</p><p>“He’s tall and has a lot of tattoos. He’s also a total sweetheart.” I caught the eyes of Hanna who had raised her eyebrows at me in a sort of ‘wow, good luck’ way.</p><p>Mom shot me a look. “Lots of tattoos? Oh darling. Why do you always go for these men?” As if having inked skin was a negative. As if having tattoos automatically made you a fundamentally bad person. Ian had them too and she hadn’t liked him because of it either, amongst a few other petty reasons.</p><p>“Hey, I have tattoos,” Hanna pointed out, even though they were only a few small, spread apart singular ones. “It’s not a bad thing, Mom.”</p><p>“It changes the way that people look at you and how they view you,” Mom answered curtly, folding her arms. The irony was, she was the person who was doing this very thing, her unwavering judgemental attitude along with many others who thought like this adding to the stigma in the first place. “It’s no good trying to get a decent job covered in metal and with silly logos all up your arms.”</p><p>“My boyfriend has a great job, <em>with</em> all of his tattoos. He founded a successful company,” I pointed out, my irritation rising.</p><p>“You play video games for a living, dear,” Mom replied very dismissively, not understanding in the slightest and also refusing to, as she had always done. I was sure that she was convinced that I had a ‘real job’ on the side that I used to pay my bills.</p><p>There was no point in arguing with her further when she had locked herself in this mindset. We said no more about the subject as we all sat down to watch some new-ish Transformers film that was showing this year on TV, during which I was mostly distracted by my phone buzzing with messages again.</p><p>
  <em>‘Hope you’re enjoying today. x’</em>
</p><p>Goddammit, Ian. And he had added a kiss on the end, like we had done years ago on every text to one another without fail. The trouble was, because this was through Twitter I could easily just block him, but that seemed harsh when really he hadn’t particularly done anything wrong and this was more about my own guilt that I was feeling.</p><p>
  <em>‘You too.’</em>
</p><p>My reply was short and to the point, but I couldn’t help feeling like a bitch in retrospect. On the other hand though a part of me was aware that he seemed to be almost fishing for my attention with his blatant admittance of missing me and also calling me ‘babe’, which rubbed me the wrong way.</p><p>“You young ones and your cell phones,” Mom tutted, noticing the divide in my attention. “Can’t even watch the television nowadays without fiddling with something else at the same time.”</p><p>This was going to be a really long extended weekend.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. I think everyone can agree they want Geoff to be happy IRL.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>Drunk Geoff Warning.</i>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Saturday afternoon couldn’t come fast enough, with both Hanna and I already fed up of sharing such a small flat with our mother. As much as we loved her and respected her for single-handedly raising us, she was the kind of person who would try to take over everything you were doing as though implying that you weren’t doing it well enough. She would become spiky any time you mentioned something in your life that she didn’t approve of even if it had nothing to do with her and she would think that she had a say in your habits and living routine.</p><p>The fact that my jeans had rips in them caused her to comment about the fact that I looked like I’d been attacked, whilst Hanna’s eye makeup earned her a comment about her looking like she’d been in a strip club. We were both on our last dime of patience at this point, with Hanna’s knuckles slightly white on the steering wheel as she drove us to the airport where Mom could fly home and continue to live her life the way she wanted and leave us alone to live ours. While she hadn’t mentioned Dave at all – which despite everything else, Hanna was extremely grateful for - she hadn’t shut up about her finding ‘a new man’ for the last couple of days either.</p><p>The journey back to my flat was one in which we could, as siblings, finally air our annoyances about comments made and things that had happened aloud without repercussions.</p><p>“I nearly lost it when she mentioned that her friend’s son was single right now,” Hanna groaned. “Like, I don’t <em>care. </em>I have more important things to be worrying about right now.”</p><p>I nodded in agreement. “And then she looked at me, as though maybe I’d be willing to swap out who I have currently or something.” I tapped my nails on the knee of my jeans, irritably.</p><p>“I think you did pretty well not to just yell at her,” she replied, stopping for a red light. “I could tell you really wanted to a couple of times, especially when you got a little tipsy and showed her a picture of Geoff.”</p><p>“Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best idea,” I shrugged, gazing out of my passenger window as cars drove past across us. “But she was pissing me off. Did you see the way she looked at me <em>sympathetically </em>after she saw him?”</p><p>“Oh yeah.” Hanna pulled away on green, upping her speed as we entered on to the interstate. “Between you and me, even though I still don’t quite get it, I think you’ve got two really nice guys there.”</p><p>The drive was almost three hours, our only solace being our conversation and then whatever music CDs Hanna had bought for the trip, the pair of us loudly and terribly singing along to various rock idol hits before falling more quiet as the sun began to set. The weather had been clear all day but now as the sky turned an orange-pink hue, spots of rain started to fall.</p><p>My phone rung in my pocket, so I fished it out and hit ‘answer’.</p><p>“Hey Geoff!”</p><p>“Heyyyyy,” he replied cheerily, but straight away there was something in his voice that indicated there was something wrong.</p><p>“Everything okay?” I asked tentatively, hearing the sound of the television in the background. He’d been at his parents with Millie for Thanksgiving on Thursday and Friday but now that he was back home, he was alone since Gavin had taken the opportunity (despite being British and therefore not celebrating Thanksgiving obviously) to go home for the holidays.</p><p>“S’all great, family’s great,” he slurred, confirming my suspicions. “Why don’t y’all come over?”</p><p>“It’s just me and Hanna now,” I answered him, my stomach sinking because he was totally drunk for the first time in a few weeks or so, breaking his sobriety. “We dropped our Mom off at the airport about two hours ago. But I can come over if you want?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I’ll be there in just under an hour. Don’t drink any more alcohol,” I told him, feeling as though my words were fruitless because he’d probably forget as soon as we ended the call.</p><p>“M’not drinking,” he replied, obviously untruthfully. “No more.”</p><p>“Okay Geoff, I’ll be there soon.” I sighed and hung up before glancing at Hanna. “We’re gonna need to take a slight detour.”</p><p>It was worse than I’d thought on the phone when we arrived; multiple empty bottles of whiskey lay around his kitchen as Geoff sat on his sofa looking like he was feeling sorry for himself. I let the pair of us in through his unlocked front door as he looked up, his face lighting up at my appearance in spite of the situation.</p><p>“Why’d you bring <em>everyone?</em>” he slurred, smiling as he attempted to get up and stumbled a fair way before steadying himself against the wall.</p><p>“It’s just the two of us, Hanna and I,” I frowned, wondering if he was probably seeing double or something. “Geoff, please sit down.”</p><p>“Kay,” he grinned, sitting back down on his sofa a little heavily, partially due to being so unbalanced. “No more drink f’meeee.”</p><p>“How much have you had already?” I asked dubiously, looking over to the kitchen counter as his face fell a little at my apparently excellent detective skills.</p><p>“Alllll the Jameson. Didn’t mean to. M’sorry,” he moaned, wrapping his arms around me as I plonked myself down beside him. “Forgive me?”</p><p>“He’s shitfaced,” Hanna laughed a little as I sighed heavily. Yes, he definitely was.</p><p>“Geoff, what made you start drinking today? You were doing so well with quitting.” I stroked a hand affectionately through his short dark hair as he looked at me with tired blue eyes.</p><p>“Dunno. Love you,” he nuzzled into me and I knew that very soon he would likely fall asleep on me, which wasn’t ideal.</p><p>“I love you too, idiot,” I smiled a little, not really meaning to insult him in my heart of hearts. “Han, help me get him to the bedroom.”</p><p>The pair of us, with one arm over our shoulders each, led him drunkenly to his bed where we helped him lay down on top of the duvet fully dressed but in the most comfortable position we could manage. He was already mostly asleep by the time we were done, so we turned out the light and left him to it.</p><p>***</p><p>Hanna had driven back to my flat, but I had wanted to stay. After watching some TV in his eerily quiet living room, I’d eventually stripped to underwear and climbed into bed beside Geoff, my mind running with possibilities of why he’d returned to the bottle. It could have been all manner of things ranging from stress, to his concern for Millie, to just missing the drink, but the most important thing to me was reinforcing the fact that he hadn’t failed just because he’d relapsed, tomorrow when he woke up. I didn’t want him to now use this incident as a reason to give up on becoming sober.</p><p>My eyes opened slowly as I awoke the following late morning of Sunday to the smell of bacon floating appetizingly through the house and sizzling in a pan on the stove, Geoff having cleared away the empty whiskey bottles from the night before and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, his green-socked feet tapping around on the hard floor as he cooked. Pulling my clothes back on and combing through my hair with my fingers which did very little to tidy it, I walked out to the kitchen to join him a little apprehensively.</p><p>“Hungry?” he asked, as though nothing had happened last night. For a moment, I wondered whether to even bring the subject up.</p><p>“Thanks,” I replied a little awkwardly as he made every effort to avoid my gaze while I sat down at the table and watched him crack some eggs into the same frying pan. “How was your Thanksgiving?”</p><p>He hesitated before replying, but when he did he sounded perfectly normal. “Well I spent the actual Thursday with my parents and grandparents because Millie was with Griffon and her new boyfriend, but I had Millie yesterday and we had a pretty good time. We just chilled here and played video games. Mostly Minecraft, she’s big into that right now. What about yours?”</p><p>I described the way in which my mother acted like she thought I was basically dating the devil, which actually amused Geoff a fair amount as he tipped the breakfast on to two plates and he sat down at the table with me.</p><p>“I hope you told her that I also have addiction problems when it comes to alcohol and used to get into fights every now and then,” he said casually with a smile, still not meeting my eyes. “Also I swear like a fuckin’ sailor.”</p><p>“I didn’t need to, she already thinks I deserve better,” I rolled my eyes with a giggle despite myself. “She knows you’re older than me and that you have tattoos. Any more and she’d probably berate me until I called you and broke up with you, despite me being an adult woman.”</p><p>“You do deserve better, she’s right about that,” Geoff nodded self-depreciatingly. “Did you mention Ryan?”</p><p>Shaking my head at both the question and the way that he had just put himself down, I stuck my fork into the tasty bacon rashers. “I didn’t think bringing up the poly aspect was a good idea. And Geoff…don’t say that. You’re amazing.”</p><p>For the first time that morning he met my eyes with a shrug. “I’m really not, but as long as you’re happy, I guess.”</p><p>“I am,” I replied pointedly.</p><p>“Your mother probably would have approved far more of Ryan if you’d described him instead, from the sounds of things,” Geoff mumbled through a mouthful of food. “He’s a little closer to you in age, has no tatts and has a charming way with words when he isn’t flubbing. He could probably get away with impressing your mother to a point.”</p><p>I shrugged. “Maybe, but I don’t care what she thinks about who I see. By the way…about last night...”</p><p>“You mad at me?” he asked this very casually, but I could tell it meant a lot to him.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Hm. I’m surprised. Thought you would be.”</p><p>“Why? You slipped up. You’re only human.” I chewed on my eggs as we became aware of the pitter-patter of rain beginning outside.</p><p>“I promised you,” Geoff sighed, nibbling the fat off of his bacon strips, “that I would quit. I just couldn’t help it. I was on my own, thinking about Millie and Griffon and her new boyfriend all being a family and it just fuckin’ hurt. It’s the same on the holidays every fuckin’ year, but when she was little we were a family.”</p><p>My heart ached painfully for him before something occurred to me. “Do you…still have feelings for Griffon?”</p><p>He paused, accessing me before digging his fork into his fried egg yolk. “I still love her, but not in the way that I love you. She’s the mother of my kid, those feelings don’t just go away. I’m not jealous of her new guy though, if that’s what you’re asking me.”</p><p>Feeling guilty for bringing it up, I shook my head. “Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” he shrugged.</p><p>I glanced out of the window, twiddling my fork between my fingers a little. “It’s ironic that you don’t think you’re good enough for me,” I said quietly as he watched me reflect on his earlier words. “I feel the same way about myself the other way around.”</p><p>“I hope you’re kidding,” he laughed a little then, raising his eyebrows. “I’m <em>lucky </em>to have you. Back in that closet during that thunderstorm, I had no idea that you would respond the way you did. I genuinely just wanted to calm you down because you looked like you were on the verge of fuckin’ freaking out. Literally shaking. Initially I was just going to take you outside of the office and away from the windows of the building, but then I had the idea to take you somewhere quieter and darker.”</p><p>I remembered vividly the way I had felt at the time with him being the only reason I had even relaxed in the darkness and the safety I had felt so deeply. He had been exactly what I had needed at exactly the right time, without even being aware of it.</p><p>“I really thought I’d gone too far when I kissed your neck though,” he continued with a wry smile. “I expected you to fight me off or hit me. I expected that I’d have to apologise and probably explain to HR that yes you have every right to tell me to fuck off. I was probably more nervous than you in that moment.”</p><p>A grin crawled on to my face in amusement as I recalled the incident, intrigued by his viewpoint on the situation. “I invited it. I wouldn’t have gone in there with you in the first place if I didn’t kinda want something to happen. I’d had feelings for you for a long time.”</p><p>Geoff tiled his head a little to the side, adorably. “How long? Am I really that oblivious?”</p><p>“Uh…” I thought about this for a minute. Really, it hadn’t started until a year or so into my employment under him, when I’d gotten to know him as a person and wasn’t so intimidated by him as a boss and founder. “Couple of years.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ,” he chuckled.</p><p>Curious now, I kept digging. “What brought you and Ryan to the viewpoint of being in a poly relationship with me?”</p><p>Geoff poured some fresh orange juice into two glasses before depositing the carton back in the fridge door. “Six months after he got divorced, he came to me as his boss to tell me about how he liked you a lot but because you both worked together, he wasn’t sure if it would be okay to act on it. I asked him how he felt about the fact that I liked you too and we came up with the idea of polyamory as long as you agreed.”</p><p>“So you and Ryan had spent about three months with feelings for me and said nothing?” I asked incredulously.</p><p>“I wouldn’t say we said nothing…” Geoff grinned, referring to the ‘banter’ teasing and dirty jokes that would constantly happen. “And you didn’t say anything to me either, in my defence.”</p><p>It was hilarious to think that their flirting with me and my flirting back under the guise of joking had actually been real the whole time. They hadn’t treated me particularly differently in general though because this was hidden beneath the banter everyone in the room had with one another as a part of Achievement Hunter.</p><p>“I couldn’t, you’re my boss.” I sipped my drink. “How was I supposed to tell you that I’d been crushing on you for years and risk that you didn’t feel the same way? That would have created the shittiest work environment ever.”</p><p>“Fair point,” he replied, clearing our plates and cutlery into the dishwasher. “Out of interest, when did you realise that you liked Ryan too?”</p><p>I considered this. I couldn’t really pinpoint when my view of him had changed from ‘objectively good-looking’ to ‘sexy as hell’, but somehow it had evolved since he’d gotten divorced and was noticeably single again, not to mention the increased confidence he had been gaining by becoming more and more integrated within the Achievement Hunter team. I also realised in hindsight that he’d begun to speak to me more at that point too, though I’d passed it off as us just becoming friends.</p><p>When Geoff had obviously told him about being in the storage room with me due to their prior conversation about broaching a poly relationship with me, Ryan had then used this as ammunition to directly text me and then tease me in the office the following morning to see how much he could get away with before I told him to stop, clearly preferring to wind me up than just come straight out with it and directly talk to me about it. I wondered if when he had walked me home the night I’d fallen asleep late at the office, he would have made a move then had I not been the one to invite him in.</p><p>In retrospect, Ryan been both ultra-confident and not at the same time somehow, hanging back for Geoff to make the first moves before he took any risks himself with me but in fairness, I imagined it would have been doubly hard for him to take the rejection if I’d said ‘no’ to him after I’d already accepted Geoff, considering their discussion.</p><p>“Much more recently than you,” I answered him honestly. “Hey, you don’t have any more alcohol in the house now, right?”</p><p>“Nope. Drank it,” Geoff replied. “I’m not gonna get fucked up every night after work like I used to, don’t worry.”</p><p>“I’m glad.” I got up and walked around the table, wrapping my arms around his neck and cuddling him from behind, planting a kiss on his stubbly cheek. “You deserve to be happy, Geoff. You’ve got everyone’s support.”</p><p>We settled on the sofa shortly after this, with him loading up a game that I associated with him so strongly that I couldn’t ever play it and think of anyone else – Peggle. He was so addicted and determined to reach one-thousand gamer score on the mostly luck-based game that he had taken to playing it in his spare time as almost the only game he played when not in the office, due to it also being a pretty relaxing game.</p><p>As I watched him make calculated decisions based on the positioning of the pegs and the ball shooter, I made suggestions which only served to make him laugh because I was a terrible Peggle player that relied solely on luck with barely any forethought or planning. Usually I only got through the levels by playing them repeatedly until everything happened to line up for me, often with no balls left or without hitting every single peg. Most commonly, I would lose.</p><p>My phone buzzed, causing me to check it out in case it was important.</p><p>
  <em>‘Are you seeing anyone right now?’</em>
</p><p>Ian again.</p><p>
  <em>‘Yes.’</em>
</p><p>I needed to be entirely blunt with him and it was something I should have done days ago. I sincerely hoped that he would leave it at that, but instead he messaged me again.</p><p>
  <em>‘I need to see you.’</em>
</p><p>God fucking dammit. I sighed visibly, causing Geoff to glance sideways at me.</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s nothing.”</p><p>And it really wasn’t anything. I shook my head and pocketed my phone, choosing not to reply to my ex again from now on. No matter what he said, I wasn’t going to reply. I’d moved on. Ian wasn’t in my life any more. He couldn’t just stroll back in with comments like that after all of this time and expect that I hadn’t <em>moved on</em>. I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that to him. If I just didn’t reply to him anymore, it was game over for him.</p><p>Y’know, unless in his reckless desperation, he was currently buying himself a plane ticket.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Trevor is a sweetheart. Geoff is struggling. Incoming Ryan fluff in this chapter and probably next chapter.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>As if in slow motion, the giant green fish beanbag plush soared over the heads of several members of broadcast and directly into the side of Ryan’s head, who at the last split-second, tried to duck sideways as Gus threw his hands up in surprise and Ashley burst into laughter while Gavin cheered at his own success. His throwing things at his colleague on The Patch had become a running theme now, with various misses and re-attempts over the weeks. It had gotten to the point where the broadcast team were instantly suspicious any time an Achievement Hunter showed up that wasn’t Ryan, because there was no other reason for us to be there other than to cause trouble.</p><p>“Gavin, what is your problem?” Gus chuckled. “You find something bigger to throw at him every other week!”</p><p>“It’s funny!” Gavin grinned like a schoolboy as he walked on to set to retrieve it while I filmed the entire thing from our perspective on his phone.</p><p>“Oh no you don’t,” Ryan said immediately, raising the fish plush out of the lad’s reach as he struggled to get to it. He was only a couple of inches shorter but he was still scrambling with difficulty as the older man waved it away right when he got close to grabbing it.</p><p>“Fine, keep it,” Gavin pouted. “I still hit you with it.”</p><p>“You did, I’ll give you that,” Ryan replied in a voice that emanated light-heartedness, before waiting until the younger’s man’s back was turned to launch the plush at the back of his head.</p><p>It hit with a soft ‘poof’ and then flopped to the floor but everybody devolved into peals of laughter as Gavin pulled the face of someone who was extremely offended, his hands outstretched as if asking what the hell had just happened.</p><p>“You probably shouldn’t have turned away from him while he was holding that,” I pointed out obviously with a giggle as Gavin, wanting revenge, spun around to dive at Ryan and tried to hit him repeatedly with the fish. He had very little success as Ryan easily fended him off and then wrestled control by seizing the fish once again and tossing it to Gus, who impressively caught it one-handed at a moment’s notice.</p><p>“Can we ban these guys from our show?” Ashley asked non-seriously whilst addressing the broadcast team, some of whom shrugged a little, smiles on their faces from the ongoing shenanigans.</p><p>“Hey, <em>I</em> didn’t do anything!” I snickered, watching as Ryan sat back down at the set table and Gavin trailed back over to me finally having grabbed back the fish.</p><p>“You’ve been filming this nearly every time it happens!” she pointed out as Ryan shook his head at me in mock-disappointment while I simply winked playfully at him in return.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re very much facilitating this,” Gus agreed, staring directly at me.</p><p>I shrugged, unable to stop the amusement from crossing my face as Gavin and I finally left them alone and trekked down the corridor to our office.</p><p>“Cheers for that,” he said, taking back his phone. “Maybe I could throw multiple things next time…what does Ryan not like?”</p><p>“Uhh…you?” I suggested jokingly while rolling my eyes with a smile as Gavin audibly brainstormed ideas, but then I noticed a miserable-looking Trevor sitting at a bench in the kitchen area. Waving bye to Gavin, I made an effort to go over to speak to him, wondering what could be bothering him when he usually seemed pretty upbeat.</p><p>“Hi,” he greeted me in a monotone voice, glancing up briefly at me before going back to stirring his pudding pot with his spoon.</p><p>“What’s going on Trey?” I asked lightly, propping up my chin on my palms, my elbows resting on the wooden table.</p><p>“Nothing,” he answered, allowing another couple of seconds to pass before he said anything further. He knew from past experiences that I was a good listener, but I wasn’t going to push him if he didn’t want to talk now. “Just trouble with my ex.”</p><p>“Emily?” I asked, recalling how they’d been together for several years before they’d broken up.</p><p>“Yeah. She’s…pretty jealous of Barbara. She’s trying to weasel her way back into my life,” Trevor sighed, his gentle brown eyes meeting mine. “She was always really controlling and possessive, but it’s worse now that she’s seen me happier with someone else.”</p><p>I blinked a couple of times. “I had no idea she was such a joy to be with,” I said as the corners of his mouth lifted a little at my sarcasm. I remembered how he had described his relationship with it feeling very one-sided as he attempted to do everything he could to make her happy, but I hadn’t realised the true depth of the situation.</p><p>“I’ve been more elated the last few weeks with Barbara than I ever was with Emily,” Trevor stated directly and sincerely. “She literally couldn’t handle me having a life outside of her and she still can’t. It took me far too long to realise how much she was taking advantage of me.”</p><p>“You’re too much of a nice guy,” I replied sympathetically, patting his arm. “Which is great when you find the right person, but it means that she was able to walk all over you. Don’t let her do it again; you deserve better.”</p><p>“I wasn’t planning to,” he shrugged. “She just knows how to manipulate the situation and twist my words. She’s trying to make out that I got together with Barb while I was still with her, which isn’t true.”</p><p>I shook my head, knowing in my heart that he was being honest - Trevor was one of the nicest, most genuine guys I’d ever met and his heart was just full. He always went out of his way to cheer people up, to make them happy and to do his level best for them, particularly in a relationship. Knowing Barbara well, I knew that she wouldn’t abuse this and would instead appreciate these traits in him, but Emily clearly preferred to selfishly and unfairly try to keep him under her thumb.</p><p>“Barb will know better than to listen to your ex if you’re open with her,” I offered.</p><p>“Oh she knows everything,” Trevor nodded. “I was upfront straight away because I didn’t want Barb to get the wrong idea either, but she’s been really nice about it all.” He licked chocolate pudding off his spoon.</p><p>“Good,” I nodded. “I’m certainly no expert on relationships but I do know communication is important.”</p><p>“Hey, I just appreciate you hearing me out,” he smiled gratefully in reply.</p><p>“Well hey, you do the same for me sometimes,” I answered, nibbling my fingernail in thought. Despite both of us being the same age, we had come from totally different backgrounds growing up allowing us to bounce thoughts and views off of one another as friends. We’d also had different relationship experiences too, by the sounds of things. “D’you think that everyone just has that one borderline crazy ex-partner somewhere in their past?” I asked, referring to Emily, Ellie, Geoff’s girlfriend from before Griffon, my sister’s ex-fiancée and in some small way Ian, each of those people with varying levels of extreme, of course.</p><p>“Probably,” Trevor shrugged as we glanced over at the office door to see Jeremy and Matt exiting the room, talking animatedly. When they caught sight of me, they made a beeline for our table.</p><p>“Yo, tonight we’re streaming, you should come join us,” Jeremy offered me confidently. “We’re gonna do a chilled play session of the original Spyro game and we can talk over Discord on Twitch. Around eight.”</p><p>“That sounds fun!” I beamed. “I will definitely be online with you guys.”</p><p>“By the way, have you seen Geoff today?” Matt asked, brushing his floppy brown fringe out of the way of his glasses. “I saw him this morning but he’s vanished.”</p><p>Shrugging a little, I shook my head. “Nope, not since you did at about ten. Why d’you need him?”</p><p>Matt frowned. “Jack said he was supposed to meet with him to discuss something but he didn’t turn up, which isn’t like him.”</p><p>I was already pulling out my phone in concern, tapping into my message chain with Geoff and beginning to type. Jeremy and Matt bid their goodbyes as I returned the sentiment distractedly and awaited a reply while Trevor watched me.</p><p>
  <em>‘You okay? x’</em>
</p><p>“You look worried,” Trey commented pensively as he ate his pudding.</p><p>“What?” I blinked at him, not realising that I wore my emotions so visibly sometimes. “No, I’m just wondering where he’s gotten to.”</p><p>My phone buzzed in my hand a minute later.</p><p>
  <em>‘Fine’</em>
</p><p>Wow, not even a period after the word. It could not have been clearer that he was lying to me, but I decided to change tack.</p><p>
  <em>‘Where are you? x’</em>
</p><p>“He’s probably just at another meeting and forgot or something,” Trevor shrugged a little. “He’s a busy man.”</p><p>While that was true, I still didn’t think it was likely that he wouldn’t have at least had the courtesy to let Jack know if he had changed his mind on having whatever discussion they were supposed to have today, as the co-founders of Achievement Hunter together. Geoff was passionate and driven but he wasn’t purposefully inconsiderate, unless it was towards someone he genuinely disliked.</p><p>
  <em>‘Back room.’</em>
</p><p>Hm, that was odd. The back room was exactly that; a place where some of the part-time employees would sometimes hang out because it had a sofa in there, but it was windowless and tiny and generally, we never went in.</p><p>When I got there, I opened the door a crack to see Geoff sitting not on the sofa, but on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees as he stared at the opposite wall as though it was the most interesting thing on earth. The lights were out, so the room had presumably been pitch-black before I’d let the corridor light in. He didn’t even glance my way as I silently closed the door behind me, treading carefully over to him and sitting cross-legged beside him.</p><p>“Why’re we on the floor?” I asked quietly.</p><p>“I just needed to space out on my own for a while,” he mumbled next to me. “And usually when I need to do that, I drink. But I’m trying not to drink.”</p><p>Tentatively, I reached sideways for where I knew his hand would be, feeling him hook his fingers through mine as we sat in total darkness and mostly silence. I ran my thumb gently over his, our hands interlocked.</p><p>“Jack was looking for you apparently,” I told him softly after a moment.</p><p>“I texted him five minutes ago,” he replied, sounding tired as he sighed heavily. “I think I’m gonna join a group. I can’t moderate or quit alcohol on my own. I don’t have enough self-control.”</p><p>“That sounds like it would help,” I replied, lacking any real knowledge in the subject but still meaning well and wanting to support him. “You’ll meet other people in the same position as you, right? Talking to them might be good.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>I squeezed his hand and felt him reciprocate with an identical squeeze right after so I leaned sideways a little, resting my head on his shoulder as I appreciated how glad I was that he felt that he could confide in me. If he’d wanted to shut me out, he wouldn’t have told me where he was. He wouldn’t have let me into his issues and then allowed me to stay.</p><p>“Don’t feel like you have to babysit me,” he spoke into the darkness as I frowned a little in response to this comment. “I don’t expect you to watch me like a hawk.”</p><p>“I don’t feel like I have to <em>babysit you</em>,” I replied resolutely. “I want to help you. I love you, Geoff.”</p><p>Another sigh as he tilted his head to rest it gently against mine. “Love you too.”</p><p>***</p><p>Streaming was always a change of pace for me, especially since it was something I did weekly for fun. There had been talks about expanding our company’s social media presence in an official capacity regarding streaming especially, but some of us had been doing it as a hobby for years already. As I loaded up ‘Spyro The Dragon’ and made contact with both Jeremy and Matt through Discord chat, we all appeared on a call to one another in order to play the same game whilst chatting live for our respective followers.</p><p>The evening passed pleasantly, the casual conversation between the three of us and our followers jovial and light-hearted while we passed level after level and commented on who was ahead every now and then as we each aimed to collect everything. Since I was in my tiny side-office, Hanna had promised not to have the television too loud or come in at any point, allowing me to continue streaming until roughly eleven when we called it a night and retired to bed.</p><p>I’d tiptoed past her as she snoozed on the sofa, having fallen asleep wrapped in a blanket much earlier. Shutting my bedroom door, I undressed and slid into bed, setting my phone alarm for the morning before feeling it buzz with a new message right as I went to place it down on my nightstand. Squinting in the relative darkness at the bright screen, I scanned the very short message in my inbox from Geoff.</p><p>
  <em>‘Sweet dreams. xxx’</em>
</p><p> With a smile on my face, I fell into a sound sleep until the following morning but unfortunately my slumber was disrupted prematurely.</p><p>
  <strong>CRASH!</strong>
</p><p>I sat bolt upright, my heart thudding with adrenaline as my tired eyes flashed open in shock. The sunlight was streaming through a small gap in my curtains, the room warm as I threw the duvet off of me and stepped out of bed, opening my bedroom door to gaze out into the living room where Hanna was covering her mouth with her hands. Her eyes were wide with guilt and in pieces lay my glass coffee table, the metal frame still intact but the culprit on the floor within it – Hanna’s thick black laptop.</p><p>“I…I dropped it, and…oh God, I’ll buy you a new table, I promise!” she gasped through her fingers as I gawped at the mess of broken sprinkles of glass littering the carpet like glitter.</p><p>“It’s fine, don’t worry,” I said slowly, clutching my chest. “That was a hell of a way to wake up, though.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she replied meekly, picking up her laptop and shaking it free of glass. “I’ll clean it up.”</p><p>“Watch out for your feet,” I pointed out as I walked carefully around the back of the sofa to my office to retrieve the vacuum cleaner for her.</p><p>Making breakfast for my sister while she sorted out the carpet was quick and easy; oatmeal for the both of us and herbal tea for her, coffee for me. She had just about finished when I set both bowls down on the counter and tipped the pan up into them before sprinkling some sugar over the top for flavour.</p><p>“I got a call from Todd yesterday,” Hanna said casually as we sat on the sofa with our bowls in our laps.</p><p>“Who?” I frowned.</p><p>“Todd, the blond guy from the club we went to,” she replied. “He asked if I wanna go grab pizza with him at the weekend.”</p><p>“Nice!” I paused. “What if he’s a psychopath?”</p><p>Hanna rolled her eyes at me with a small laugh. “Anyone could be a psychopath but you’ve got to take some risks in life.”</p><p>I shrugged a little. “I mean, you’ll be in a public place I guess.”</p><p>“Exactly: surrounded by people and pizza. Honestly, I’m kind of excited! He was cute and funny,” Hanna gushed, her eyes lighting up but I’d sown the seed of doubt - I could tell. “But…maybe you…could come too?”</p><p>Blinking at her, I raised my eyebrows. “That’s not really how dates work…”</p><p>“Oh no, I know, I don’t mean come with me and sit <em>with</em> us…I mean maybe sit nearby and kind of…be there for me if he turns out to be a jerk,” she sighed. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated and…my last relationship didn’t turn out so well. At least if he’s an ass I don’t have to feel like I have to make small talk until the end of the date and I’ll have someone else to hang out with instead.”</p><p>Nodding, I tilted my head slightly in sympathy. “Won’t Todd recognise me though?”</p><p>She shrugged. “So what if he does? Bring of your guys so you’re not sitting alone.”</p><p>We began to giggle as we joked about me being ‘undercover’ and wearing a wig-and-sunglasses disguise, the time passing rapidly and me leaving in a hurry to get to work on time as the wind blew the dried, fallen orange and brown leaves around my feet while I walked. We were now officially a few days into December, the weather having become more mild again and my black leather jacket over my hoodie being enough to keep me warm along with my skinny jeans. Suddenly, Christmas seemed to be around the corner and as I walked through the door to the hanger with my key card pass, I noticed that staff had and were visibly decorating the offices and communal areas with streamers and lights.</p><p>When I opened the door to the Achievement Hunter office, I noticed a small desktop Christmas tree adorned with baubles in the corner and someone had hung green and silver tinsel around the walls of the room.</p><p>“I thought it’d be cool to get a little Christmas spirit in here,” Jack beamed as I sat down beside him at my desk, the two of us the only people here so far. “So I got a hold of some stuff.”</p><p>“It’s somehow cosier in here, you’ve done a good job,” I commented with a smile. “Maybe we could get Santa hats for everyone to wear, too…”</p><p>“You might not wanna admit that to be your idea when the others inevitably reject it,” Jack grinned. “But I’ll wear one with you. Speaking of which, have you seen the date for the office Christmas party?”</p><p>I shook my head no because while we held one every year I hadn’t heard anyone mention it yet this year. Although it was called ‘the office party’, there was an unspoken invitation to everyone on the lot that worked for Rooster Teeth, pretty much. Usually it was a gathering of colleagues making polite and somewhat silly conversation and would devolve rapidly into most people getting drunk off their asses and singing Christmas carols badly together.</p><p>“It’s on the last working day, Friday nineteenth,” Jack informed me right as Ryan strolled in and slumped in his chair on my other side. Instead of switching on his PC, he lay his head down on his crossed forearms on his desk and closed his eyes.</p><p>“Someone’s tired,” I commented as I observed him.</p><p>“Barely slept, kids awake all night,” he mumbled, looking seriously like he could do with just crawling back into bed.</p><p>Without thinking and because I couldn’t resist, I leaned to stroke his hair affectionately at which he did open his eyes a fraction and gave me a tiny smile in return for.</p><p>“Are they sick or just kids being kids?” Jack asked with a chuckle.</p><p>“They’re not sick, they just like torturing Daddy until he’s sleep deprived,” Ryan yawned in response, his eyes closing again. I wondered if he might actually be in danger of drifting off right where he was. “I don’t know how Laurie does it when her job requires her to concentrate so much.”</p><p>“Well…maybe ‘Daddy’ should get into drinking coffee or something,” I replied. “You need caffeine or sugar. Or both.”</p><p>Ryan’s eyes opened again at this comment and he gazed at me curiously, though his head was still sideways on his forearms on his desk. “I don’t like coffee.”</p><p>“I know but you need <em>something,</em>” I grinned as he raised an eyebrow. “If you fall asleep mid-Let’s Play, it’ll be awkward.”</p><p>“Nahhh, it’ll be fine,” Ryan smirked, still unmoving. “I’ll just throw in a comment every now and then. Nobody will know.”</p><p>“I mean, <em>we</em> all will,” Jack laughed as I got up to fetch him a Diet Coke from the fridge. When I plonked it down in front of his face, Ryan grinned and sat up slowly to crack it open, as though only the lure of the carbonated beverage could prevent him from snoozing.</p><p>“Thanks, cutie.”</p><p>My cheeks warmed at this new pet name as Jack made a statement about how to him, the two of us acting like a couple was still weird, even after years of seeing us get close as friends in the office.</p><p>Subconsciously I stroked along the black choker around my neck, the velvet brushing against my fingertips as I made a start on editing our latest group Destiny Let’s Play, my headphones on over my ears as I focused. After a while I became aware that Ryan was doing the same beside me and was editing two of the group’s Grand Theft Auto Let’s Plays, though he was surely breaking a record for the sheer amount of yawning he was doing. Throughout the morning the others filtered in too until it reached just after eleven and we all set up to collectively record Minecraft.</p><p>Leaning right the way back in his chair so that he was almost horizontal now, Ryan rested his controller on his stomach as he played, his headset and controller wires nearly at maximum stretch from where they were plugged in to his PC. He was slightly quieter than usual but his sense of humour was still sharp, though I did notice that he would take long blinks at times and was sure that if everyone left him alone for five minutes he would just fall asleep right where he was.</p><p>“Do me a favour and pass me all that cobblestone,” Jack told Michael as the lad handed over what he’d gathered. “I need more building materials.”</p><p>“Jack’s building a house, classic,” Gavin laughed. “I thought we were meant to be trying to get to The End, finally.”</p><p>“Well we were but nobody’s doing shit to help,” Geoff answered frustratedly. “I’m looking for diamond. What are you doing?”</p><p>“Me? I’m looking for diamond too,” Gavin shrugged. “We need a lot of it for armour and shit.”</p><p>“And an enchantment table,” Ryan pointed out as he gathered food resources along with other useful mob drops such as bows and arrows that would eventually help us to fight the dragon.</p><p>“Who’s idea was it to start this in a fresh world with nothing in it?” Michael demanded sulkily.</p><p>“Well if we’d done it in Achievement City, we’d be done in like half an hour,” Jack pointed out. “We wouldn’t have to build or collect anything, hardly.”</p><p>“Yeah, exactly,” Michael sighed.</p><p>“Ray, how’re you doing?” I inquired.</p><p>“Eh, y’know. In the Nether, killing stuff.”</p><p>“Oh, I just went to the Nether too,” I replied, looking around on my screen to see if I could see him since we’d used the same portal in the overworld. Distantly, I could see his name tag as he battled bouncing Magma Cubes and avoided the fireballs of several Ghasts. “Have you found a Nether Fortress yet?”</p><p>“Not yet,” he said before making a loud noise into his mic as he fought to stay alive and thus keep what he had collected safe.</p><p>I headed right for him, ducking around the projectiles that were being fired from enemies to help Ray out, the two of us carefully avoiding falling off of the sharp cliff edge into lava below. The more we all played, the more progress we slowly made until finally, we were just about ready to find the End Portal with the Ender Eyes we had made from the pearls we’d farmed. Time had flown though and we’d eaten while we carried on, treating the audience to some unexpected munching of pizza down our microphones as we commented on who was eating what more specifically.</p><p>Five o’clock came and went and we all decided to call it a day, with actually defeating the Ender Dragon being our sole task for the next recording session later in the week as we all packed up.</p><p>“Wanna crash at mine tonight?” I asked Ryan quietly when most people had already left the room. “You won’t have to get up so early in the morning because I live so much closer than you to the office.”</p><p>“That sounds great, actually,” he sighed with a grateful smile. “I can’t promise you I’m gonna be much fun though. I’m exhausted.”</p><p>I laughed. “That’s fine, I know you are. It’s adorable.”</p><p>“Have fun banging each other!” Michael told us crassly with a smirk as he left the room last, clearly having been listening in.</p><p>Now that it was just and Ryan and I left, he reached out to pull me into his warm, comforting embrace as I draped my arms around him too, breathing him in as we stood cuddling for a minute.</p><p>“I’ve never made you my infamous hot cocoa, have I?” he murmured down at me after a moment as I squeezed him.</p><p>“No…”</p><p>“When we get to yours, I’m gonna.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Masochist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Cute fluff followed by shameless smut, because sometimes in life, you just need both. ♥]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Smut Warning</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>With Netflix open on my laptop on top of my bedspread, Ryan and I sat fully-clothed in front of it eating Chinese food and watching ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ sleepily while Hanna completed some work on her own laptop quietly in the living room, affording us some privacy. We’d stopped at the grocery store on the way home to get a couple of ingredients while I stayed in the car, which Ryan had smugly announced were entirely necessary to his plan.</p>
<p>After we’d discarded our takeout boxes he got up alone to make the hot cocoa for us both, leaving me to pause Netflix and get ready for bed. In my bathroom mirror I brushed my hair through and removed my eyeliner before sliding back into the sheets in just panties and tank top as usual as I heard quiet clattering from the kitchen. I heard Hanna say ‘no thanks’ to Ryan as he presumably asked if she wanted hot cocoa too, which to me was to be expected as she’d never really been a fan.</p>
<p>Carrying two mugs and returning to the bedroom, Ryan handed one to me that he’d added canned whipped cream to which made my eyes light up at the sight of it as he grinned at my reaction and settled back down beside me. His lacked the cream because he didn’t like it but there were plenty of mini marshmallows to make up for that.</p>
<p>I only needed a sip to realise how incredible it was as the smooth warm, milky chocolate liquid glided over my tongue pleasantly.</p>
<p>“Holy fuck,” I moaned as he began to laugh. “This is amazing!”</p>
<p>“You have cream on your nose already,” he replied, nudging me playfully as he shuffled to get comfortable.</p>
<p>I brushed it off and took another sip, savouring it as Ryan made a small ‘aahhh’ noise of satisfaction upon drinking some of his.</p>
<p>“You like pizza, right?” I asked suddenly, remembering the conversation I’d had with my sister this morning.</p>
<p>“Is that a real question?” Ryan asked me sarcastically as he turned to look at me.</p>
<p>“Okay yeah, I know you do, but Hanna’s got a date this weekend with this guy we met in that club we went to and she’s nervous about being out alone with him,” I giggled. “She suggested I ask you and Geoff along and we sit at a table nearby.”</p>
<p>“Huh. Does she want you to vet this guy for her?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I guess, but I think she’s mostly worried about getting stuck on a date with an ass,” I replied, chewing on a mini marshmallow. “Y’know, in case he turns out not to be so nice.”</p>
<p>“Understandable,” he nodded. “I’m always up for pizza so…sure. Bring Geoff too if you want, but I think he’s got Millie this week.”</p>
<p>I thought for a moment. “There’s no reason she couldn’t come too, right?”</p>
<p>Ryan shrugged. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to come along. She gets on well with you.”</p>
<p>Perhaps it was the bigger sips he took or the fact that I’d taken longer pauses between sips, but he finished his hot chocolate before me and then sat watching me, something I didn’t notice until a few seconds had passed.</p>
<p>“You have cream on your nose again,” he grinned, wiping it off with his finger in one quick motion. “It is possible to drink without putting your whole face in your cup, you know that, right?”</p>
<p>“Shuddup,” I mumbled with a smile, placing my now-empty mug down on my nightstand as Ryan chuckled and then yawned beside me.</p>
<p>“So sleepy,” he murmured, closing his eyes with a small smile on his face.</p>
<p>“Ry, you’re still fully-dressed,” I pointed out needlessly as I clambered out of bed to go to the bathroom.</p>
<p>I was soon followed in by him as he stood beside me and we shared the sink and mirror to brush our teeth. We said ‘night’ to Hanna and once he’d undressed down to his boxer briefs and we’d shimmied back into bed with the lights out, he pulled me close from behind and lightly trailed his palm down to my hip.</p>
<p>Making a gentle noise of contentment, I smiled into the darkness as I felt Ryan’s warm breath tickle the back of my neck because he’d brushed my hair aside to kiss there a couple of times, but his fingers were tracing small circles across the exposed skin between my tank top and panties. Slightly ticklish, I squirmed a bit which drew a chuckle from him as he continued tracing a finger up over the cotton material across my chest and across my nipple a few times.</p>
<p>I gasped in pleasure before saying, “I thought you were super tired?”</p>
<p>“I am, but you’re fun to play with,” he replied quietly, stroking his hand back down to my thigh again and resting it still there now. “And if I hadn’t barely gotten any sleep last night, I’d be doing such filthy things to you right now…”</p>
<p>I giggled a little, able to easily imagine what he meant as my mind wandered and provided arousing images of my submission to him until we fell asleep.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The sound of the shower running woke me up the following morning as I squinted at the time on my phone to see that Hanna would have left for work already and that Ryan and I had plenty of time before we needed to leave the house for the office. Sitting up slowly and stretching, I waited for Ryan to return from the bathroom wrapped only in a towel that covered his lower half, a second smaller towel in his hand that he was using to dry his hair with.</p>
<p>“Morning,” he smiled.</p>
<p>“Did you use my shower gel?” I grinned immediately in reply.</p>
<p>“No, I bought some on the way home last night so I wouldn’t smell all girly,” he smirked.</p>
<p>“Oh right, you bought <em>manly </em>shower gel, got it. Does it smell of blood and gasoline?” I quipped, watching him as he leaned to pick his jeans up off of the end of the bed while I pushed the duvet off of my legs because the room was so warm.</p>
<p>“Cheeky bitch,” he laughed as I rolled my eyes. “That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble.”</p>
<p>A blush rising onto my cheeks, I locked my gaze with his. “It’s a good thing that I like it when you punish me then, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>I hadn’t intended to start anything right now at a few minutes to eight in the morning when we were both due in the office at around nine, but the filthy smirk that Ryan gave me in response to this statement coupled with the way he threw his jeans back down on to the bed in abandonment of putting them on indicated that he clearly had other ideas.</p>
<p>“Oh you do, do you?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, walking around to my side of the bed where I giggled a little as I looked up at him. His fingers stroked under my chin before he pushed me back down on to the bed by my throat, straddling me to stop me from moving and using his other hand to support his weight as he leaned over me.</p>
<p>My hands went gently to his wrist as he pressed my velvet collar against my jugular, but he wasn’t pressing hard enough to make me consider using the safe word. Instead, he simply smiled and stroked his hand down my front until he reached the hem of my tank top, tugging it up over my head with my compliance.</p>
<p>“We have work soon,“ I whined a little, but he was already past being discouraged now as he leaned further down to kiss my lips with such rough heat that I couldn’t help moaning a little into it as I reciprocated, my hands falling to my sides.</p>
<p>“Shut up,” he replied softly, tweaking one of my nipples with his fingers and making me whimper loudly and arch my back up a little.</p>
<p>Exhilaration was building within me as I fixated on his deep blue eyes and the way they were roaming my body beneath him, as though he was trying to decide where to begin. Slowly, he raked his nails down the skin over one of my breasts and down to my stomach, watching me try not to squirm as I bit my lip nearly painfully and tried to remember to breathe as he repeated it on my other side, marking my abdomen and breasts around my nipples with angry red lines.</p>
<p>“Hm, you really do like this, don’t you?” he taunted quietly, still doing it as the white-hot lines burned on my skin. “Maybe I should be rougher with you.”</p>
<p>I moaned lustily in answer to this comment, to which he leaned back on his hunches and used both hands to pinch my nipples harshly.</p>
<p>“Ry!” I squeaked, gasping and wriggling a little between his thighs as he attempted to keep me still.</p>
<p>“What?” he smirked, cocking his head to the side a little as he released my nipples and instead began to flick his thumbs over them repeatedly, turning the twinges of pain to flashes of pleasure. “Is the pain turning you on? Do you like it when I hurt you?”</p>
<p>“Mhm,” I replied.</p>
<p>“Answer me properly,” he commanded, returning to scratching slowly and agonisingly down my sides now, towards my hips.</p>
<p>“Fuck yes,” I whimpered, meaning it as I writhed and closed my eyes. “Don’t stop.”</p>
<p>He climbed off of me in one swift motion. “Roll over. Hands and knees. Now.”</p>
<p>My body was desperately craving him and as I hastened to get into this position I became acutely aware of how aroused we both were as he knelt behind me on the bed, the towel having been tossed carelessly aside. I spread my legs a little apart too, on all fours and completely vulnerable to him as he stroked along the dip of my back lightly before dragging my panties down my thighs.</p>
<p>“Ryan, please,” I said quietly right before his hand landed with a smack on my ass, which I’d expected.</p>
<p>“Please what?” he teased, his hardness pressed directly against me as he continued to spank me.</p>
<p>“Please fuck me,” I replied, whimpering a tiny bit with every subsequent slap while he alternated cheeks.</p>
<p>“I thought you <em>liked</em> being punished,” he drawled a little, not letting up in the slightest as he enjoyed the moment. “Being fucked isn’t a punishment, now is it?”</p>
<p>Slightly defeated because he was feeding my desire and he knew it, I clutched the sheets beneath me as I tried desperately not to flinch at each new smack. “I do…but…<em>please</em>.”</p>
<p>“I wonder how red I can make your ass,” he mused aloud as I leaned to look at him to catch sight of him biting his lower lip with pure lust. He looked gorgeous and completely in control, his dominance intoxicating as he forced me to submit.</p>
<p>His hand stroked down to where my pussy was undeniably soaked as he used a few fingers to rub my clit and elicit a loud moan from me at this welcome pleasure.</p>
<p>I begged again, desperate to please him as he teased me and planted another slap down on my ass. “I’ll do whatever you want, Ryan.”</p>
<p>“<em>There’s </em>the good girl I know you can be,” he chuckled, digging his nails into my thighs. “Anything?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” I answered, knowing that he was definitely going to use that against me somehow in the future, but currently I didn’t care a single bit. “Anything.”</p>
<p>Ryan finally pushed himself into me then, allowing me time to adjust as I yielded to him. “Shit, you’re always so tight.”</p>
<p>I moaned as he moved slowly at first, but my noises soon became strangled as he fucked me harder than he had before, not holding back this time as he pounded me relentlessly. My back a clear blank canvas, he was soon back to scratching as the pleasure and pain melted together to cause the familiarly incredible combined sensations. All good intentions of getting to work early today abandoned, he fucked me like an animal as we both revelled in the ecstasy.</p>
<p>I lifted a hand to touch myself from underneath because it felt so fucking <em>good</em>, but as usual Ryan observed this and wasn’t about to just permit me.</p>
<p>“Do that and I’ll slap your ass <em>raw</em>,” he warned me breathlessly, kneading my ass cheeks with his hands as he continued to fuck me from behind. “I promise you, you won’t be able to sit at your desk.”</p>
<p>I didn’t care. I continued, knowing the ramifications as he growled a little and followed through on his threat, the pain and pleasure both intensifying together simultaneously as I spiralled, my fingers helping me to get off as I screamed his name, the orgasm tearing through me as he groaned.</p>
<p>“You disobedient little bitch,” he murmured with a dark laugh, feeling me shake a little as he slowed down, his hands still gripping my hips as he admired the reddened skin before him. Then he gave me another few slaps as I squeaked a little. He knew I’d just come and now he was going to make me pay.</p>
<p>“Ry, oh God,” I gasped, unsure that I could take any more.</p>
<p>“Aww,” he said teasingly in a low voice as I tried to regain my breath while he physically made it clear that he wasn’t done pounding me. “Does it really hurt now, cutie?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” I whined as he landed yet another smack. My ass was really smarting at this point, but I loved the feeling of being submissive to him so much that I refused to make him stop. I wanted to endure this, I wanted him to own me like this.</p>
<p>“Are you going to behave and not come again without permission?” he asked, still not ending the spanking as he continued to thrust into me with a slightly guttural moan.</p>
<p>“Yes!” I whimpered in a pleading voice.</p>
<p>“Yes, what?” he prompted me, as he had done before. And before, I had replied, ‘Yes Sir’ and that had been enough for him. It had been what he’d wanted and I’d known it, so I’d said it to please him and because it made me hot too. But something subconscious clicked in my brain this time and before I could stop the words leaving my lips, I uttered a different reply involuntarily and as soon as I did, fire rushed through me.</p>
<p>“Yes, Daddy.”</p>
<p>Ryan actually slowed his pace again, as if distracted. “What did you just call me?” His tone was soft, but demanding.</p>
<p>Now that I was post-orgasm, embarrassment at what I’d just said caught up to me fast as I failed to repeat it despite knowing that he wouldn’t let this go. He stroked his hands over my hips gently.</p>
<p>“Tell me. What did you just call me?”</p>
<p>I hesitated, my mind swimming with an odd mixture of panic and excitement as I tried to discern how he was taking this newfound kink. “Daddy.”</p>
<p>With no idea just how much it was turning him on too, I felt him return to his hard fucking of me as my body tried to cope with the domination of his scratching and thrusting, moans and whimpers falling from my lips as he groaned and filled me, unable to hold back any more. His body shining with exertion, he finally pulled out of me slowly and I collapsed down, breathing heavily while he lay beside me, doing the same.</p>
<p>Back and ass hurting a little, I rolled over on to my side, facing him as he closed his eyes, biting his lower lip in that delicious way that made me want to kiss him.</p>
<p>“Ry?” I asked sweetly but exhaustedly, placing a hand on his chest and relishing the good feelings rushing through my body. “My ass stings.”</p>
<p>With a slow smirk, Ryan glanced sideways at me before pulling me into a close cuddle. “Good.” But he stroked a hand down over my raw skin soothingly even so. “Maybe you’ll be a good girl now. Though I doubt it.”</p>
<p>With a quiet giggle, I became aware of my affection for him having risen dramatically at the gentleness he was now showing. We lay there quietly for a few minutes, with him still caressing my reddened skin that no longer stung and with me clinging to him needily. Ryan broke the silence, though he spoke quietly.</p>
<p>“Daddy, huh?”</p>
<p>It was a question and he sounded bemused.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m sorry.” I hid my face in his chest, slightly mortified now. Was he about to tell me that he had carried on despite it but he didn’t like it? Did he think I was too weird now? Because although I hadn’t considered it before and it wasn’t something I’d planned to say, it had <em>definitely </em>had an effect on me and I couldn’t deny that.</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s okay,” he said, seeing my reaction. “Don’t be.”</p>
<p>I dared to glance up at him to see his face was one of compassion and felt the need to be entirely truthful to him. “I…didn’t know I was gonna say it. But it was…hot.”</p>
<p>With a gentle squeeze as he held me, Ryan smiled devilishly. “Mhm, it was. Oh and about promising me you’ll do anything…”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Oh, here they come - ‘Ryan The Late Guy’ and [Y/N],” Jack grinned as we both entered the office at two minutes past nine.</p>
<p>“There’s just no excuse for being tardy,” Gavin commented in mock-seriousness as Ryan shot him a look and I raised my eyebrows.</p>
<p>“Two minutes late,” I pointed out. “That’s it.”</p>
<p>“We were in the building,” Ryan added as we both sat down at our respective desks.</p>
<p>Geoff laughed. “Being <em>in the building </em>doesn’t make up for you not being <em>in here</em>, dickhead.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s still no excuse,” Gavin chimed in again, irritatingly.</p>
<p>Michael was staring at me unnervingly knowingly with a slight smile as I tried to avoid eye contact. He knew that Ryan and I gone home together last night so he had probably also sussed why we were late this morning and why we’d walked into the office together.</p>
<p>“Shut up Gav, before I make you,” I sighed as the other guys collectively made ‘oooohhh’ noises.</p>
<p>“Someone’s feeling sassy this morning,” Jack remarked with a grin, but he was looking curiously at me.</p>
<p>To my shock, Ryan agreed with him with a raised eyebrow. “She’s been pretty sassy a lot lately.”</p>
<p>Shuffling a little, I stared at my monitor screen and opened my capture software, hoping for a subject change as I tried to ignore the fact that I was, yet again, not wearing underwear in public upon the insistence of a certain someone.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Inked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You and the guys finally beat the Ender Dragon! Also, you get your tattoo and Geoff is super sweet.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Unrelated Note: Going through it rough IRL right now and I appreciate every single one of you who is still reading and is new to the fic and has been catching up. I live in England and another month-long lockdown has just been announced until December 2nd. I work in non-essential retail so it’s likely that I’ll have more time than ever to write and update this fic since I rely on it currently to help with my own mental health. Thanks ♥</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Oh shit.”</p><p>The immediate issue was very clear; the platform in which the End Portal had dropped us on had spawned pretty far away from the main island where the dragon would be present, presenting us with our first challenge – precariously building a one-by-one bridge of blocks across to it.</p><p>With the most materials, Jack began to do this in crouch mode while the rest of us waited and tried to spot the looming threat but it didn’t appear to be in view just yet. We anxiously observed the huge black abyss that surrounded us in every direction whilst crammed on the small platform together.</p><p>“I’ve got two bows, has anyone not got a bow?” Ryan asked as the others checked.</p><p>“I haven’t got one!” Ray spoke up, so the older man tossed one to him in-game, careful that it didn’t drop off the edge.</p><p>“Good thing we have enough blocks to make this bridge across,” I remarked as we carefully followed Jack across the makeshift walkway over the nothingness. “Are you good? I have some more if you need it.”</p><p>“I think I’m good,” Jack replied as Michael made sure he was wearing his partial diamond armour, prompting Gavin to check that he was too. It would have taken far too long to find enough diamond for all of us to have full sets, so instead we settled for partial-diamond and mostly-iron armour.</p><p>“Uhhh…did anyone remember to bring the potions?” Geoff inquired, as I nodded.</p><p>“Yep, I’ve got some potions of healing right here. Everybody stay still,” I instructed them before I distributed the bottles out evenly. “Save them until you really need them, I couldn’t brew many.”</p><p>“Drink it straight away, got it,” Michael replied sarcastically. “Gavin, get out of my way!”</p><p>“Sorry Micoo!” he laughed, pausing before running along behind his teammate.</p><p>Once on the main island, chaos reigned.</p><p>The six of us rallied as Michael and Gavin tore towards the dragon as it swooped low enough, swords held high as they yelled, “<em>Team Nice Dynamite!”. </em>Armed with bows, Jack, Ray and I fired arrow after arrow at the huge black beast as it took off back into the air again, firing the occasional fireball projectile at us at random. Avoiding the eyeline of the countless swarm of Endermen, Geoff and Ryan attempted to stack blocks beneath themselves to reach the tops of the several towers in order to destroy the End Crystals that would routinely heal the dragon.</p><p>“Be careful, those crystals explode when you destroy them,” Jack warned the pair.</p><p>
  <em>‘DGgeoff fell from a high place.‘</em>
</p><p>“Well, there I go,” Geoff growled. “Goddammit. The explosion didn’t kill me but the fuckin’ fall did. I knew we should’ve tried harder for that fuckin’ Feather Falling enchantment.”</p><p>As we tried to avoid accidently picking up any of his stuff so that it would be here when he came back in a few seconds, I silently thanked whomever that we had been smart enough as a group to set our spawns with beds right by the End Portal in the overworld.</p><p>Geoff recovered his inventory quickly and hid behind a pillar to rearrange his hotbar and equipped armour, but the dragon was in no mood to wait before attacking us again. As she landed once again in the centre of the expansive area, Michael and Gavin wailed on her with their swords again, chipping damage while she covered the ground around them in purple toxic particles.</p><p>“Oh shit, that hurts!” Michael cursed, backing up away and eating food to regain health. “Gavin, get out of there man!”</p><p>“Ow, ow, ow, ow,” Gavin whined as he too backed up, now very low on health too as the pair of them scattered to regain some hearts by drinking his potion.</p><p>Ryan had towered himself up to another End Crystal but had had the sense upon seeing Geoff’s fall to back up away before destroying it to avoid being blown off of the tower to his own death. Job done, he smartly equipped a bucket of water to pour down and negate fall damage at the bottom before moving on to the next tower. Geoff re-joined him in this same method on a different tower, the two of them sticking firmly to their pre-planned strategy.</p><p>“Oh fuck, I looked at an Enderman,” I groaned, trying to fight it off with my sword as it teleported and hit me repeatedly from behind. The issue once this happened of course was that in fighting it off, you ended up accidently making eye-contact with more Endermen in the process leading to your inevitable demise as they collectively swarmed you.</p><p>I respawned back to a bed by the End Portal which I immediately re-entered, followed closely by Ray who had suffered the same fate, the two of us completely empty of our inventories.</p><p>“Yeah, they’ll fuck you up,” Jack laughed at our death messages on his screen as we scrambled to collect our items that had scattered all over the floor where we’d died respectively.</p><p>“Goddammit, dragon’s fuckin’ healing again!” Geoff yelled, despite having just taken down another End Crystal tower but while there were still any crystals active at all, she would be able to fly near them and regenerate her health.</p><p>“I’m working on it,” Ryan replied, rush-climbing another tower to destroy it.</p><p>Gavin shot an arrow at the dragon that missed spectacularly but hit Ryan square-on, buncing him off to his death.</p><p>“Gavin, why?!” he asked in bewilderment as the lad sheepishly apologised.</p><p>“I swear I didn’t mean to hit you, I’m sorry!”</p><p>Meanwhile, Ray and Michael had resumed the tactic of hitting the dragon with swords when she flew low enough. It was taking a long time, but we were chipping away at her health one bit at a time and eventually, all of the towers were destroyed, leaving the dragon with no way to heal now.</p><p>“Got her!” Geoff cried, impressively hitting two arrows in a row as the dragon flew in a loop near him.</p><p>I fired and missed three times, but Jack had my back, using my poor aim to help him to aim more accurately on the fly at the fast-moving, airborne target.</p><p>Finally the Ender Dragon fell, exploding amongst our loud celebratory cheering in a shower of green experience orbs. The six of us ran in to share in it, our enchantment levels soaring as we each finally unlocked the achievement for defeating the boss and revelled in our victory. Ending the Let’s Play recording, we sat back in our chairs with the satisfaction of our success written all over each of our faces.</p><p>Upon doing this myself though, I was reminded yet again that I wasn’t wearing any panties beneath my jeans.</p><p>“Can we talk for a minute?” Geoff requested of me with a smile as we all dispersed for lunch, grabbing his black hoodie and shrugging it on before zipping it up halfway.</p><p>“Sure,” I replied brightly, still on a high from our group Minecraft win as I followed him down the corridor before it occurred to me that we were heading in the direction of somewhere less populated. “Oh…you mean in private?”</p><p>“Well not really, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured to act okay around other people,” he replied with a small shrug as we entered a disused office unit. When he had shut the door he turned to face me, his expression caring. “Your tattoo appointment is this afternoon. How are you feeling?”</p><p>I definitely hadn’t forgotten, but I had compartmentalised it to prevent my anxiety from flaring up because of it. Needles had always freaked me out and although I was fully on-board to get this tattoo, the actual process was still going to be mentally challenging for me. My lack of reply seemed to worry Geoff.</p><p>“You can back out, y’know. I can cancel it, just like that.”</p><p>I bit my lip and shook my head. “I want to get the tattoo. You’re going to be there though, right?”</p><p>“The whole time,” Geoff nodded in confirmation, comforting me somewhat. “Erik is a great tattooist; it’ll hurt the minimum amount it has to.”</p><p>It was incredibly ironic how apprehensive I was about this upcoming pain when I’d just earlier this morning begged Ryan to scratch me and spank me until I nearly couldn’t take any more, but there was something about needles being a far more precise and concentrated source of pain that made my skin crawl and stomach turn. It was a totally different situation.</p><p>“It’s really not as bad as you’re making it out to be in your mind,” he continued gently, knowing me too well. “You’re probably building it up but you need to stop. It’s nothing like getting blood taken or getting a shot.”</p><p>“Okay,” I replied quietly with a nod, stepping towards him and wrapping my arms around his torso with a grateful smile as he hugged me back, one hand in my hair due to my being shorter than him.</p><p>“You were with Ryan last night, right?” he asked, surprising me as he stroked my hair affectionately.</p><p>“Yeah,” I answered truthfully, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry we were late today. I know you didn’t want this relationship to interfere with work.”</p><p>Geoff laughed softly. “I was only fucking with you, you were hardly that late. Gavin’s been an hour late before. In fact, Gavin has fuckin’ texted me before to let me know the <em>same morning</em> that he’s suddenly out of the fuckin’ country, the prick.”</p><p>I giggled. “Sounds like Gavin Free.” Out of all of us in Achievement Hunter across both offices, Gavin was easily the highest flight-risk, usually with very little notice. I pulled away from Geoff, shuffling to readjust my jeans a little before tucking my hands into my hoodie pockets. When he didn’t move to leave the office, I raised my eyebrows. “What?”</p><p>“So…what did you two get up to last night?”</p><p>I blushed, rolling my eyes coyly at his interest. “Actually, nothing.”</p><p>Geoff smirked, unconvinced as he folded his decorated arms. “Don’t lie.”</p><p>My eyes went to the ceiling as though the tiles there were the most interesting things in the world. “I might have admitted to him this morning that I like it when he punishes me.”</p><p>He laughed then. “Ohh, I bet that set him off.”</p><p>Nodding, I noticed Geoff’s eyes drop to my clothed torso. Knowing exactly what he was thinking, I lifted my shirt and hoodie as one, enough to reveal the now-fading red lines all over my torso.</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” he whispered, his expression one of surprise despite having witnessed this kind of scratching first-hand before. “That’s much worse than I saw it last time.”</p><p>Slightly more confident now, I smiled would-be-innocently as I lowered my top again. “You should have seen my ass this morning.”</p><p>“I’m all for spanking you, but that is a lot,” Geoff told me quietly and to my bemusement, he wrapped his arms around me again in an almost protective fashion. “Are you sure you like that?”</p><p>“Honestly I do,” I reassured him, looking up at him to meet his eyes, touched at how much he cared. “You don’t need to worry about me.”</p><p>I felt him stroke a hand up my back under my shirt and hoodie, obviously feeling the raised scratches there as he traced them gently. “Goddamn, you’re way more kinky than I ever anticipated. I bet you’re giving Ryan a run for his money.”</p><p>“Hah, I don’t know about that,” I grinned, thinking about the fact that he’d admitted to having a ‘list’ of kinks the last time I’d asked him about it in the car. I was fairly sure there was stuff he hadn’t even brought up yet. Perhaps with my increasing bravery, he would.</p><p>That idea excited me.</p><p>Standing on tiptoes, I met Geoff’s lips with my own briefly as my heart swelled from my love for him. It was lucky the horizontal blinds to this vacant office were drawn and prevented anyone from looking in because he wasn’t about to let me leave it at that, leaning down a little to kiss me with soft tenderness. Gently, my hands slid up his lower back as I returned it while he continued to hold me close. It wasn’t a demand for anything more nor was it a message that he was going to take me right here, but instead a comforting, loving, intimate gesture.</p><p>Deciding that it would be fun to tease him, I smiled against his lips. “Ryan made me go without panties today for being naughty.”</p><p>With a slightly breathy gasp against my mouth, Geoff’s hands slid straight down to my jean-clad ass as he stopped kissing me long enough to smirk. “Fuck. Get out of this room before I get carried away.” He let me go, taking a deliberate step back as he ran a hand back through his hair.</p><p>Shuffling on the spot, I grinned. He was right though, there was no way we could safely carry this on without a serious and very real risk of being caught. “There’s always that closet…” I began.</p><p>“Fuckin’ get out,” he chuckled, pointing at the door, humour in his eyes. “I have a meeting in fifteen minutes across the building.”</p><p>Playfully pouting, I turned the handle of the door and swung it open. “Yes <em>Sir.</em>”</p><p>“Sassy bitch,” he muttered with a smirk as he walked off, casting one last glance back at me as I sauntered off to the kitchen to grab some food.</p><p>***</p><p>“Hey, this is pretty cool,” Erik commented, pushing his black-framed glasses up onto his nose as he inspected my small tattoo design. “I’m gonna tweak it a little though if that’s okay?”</p><p>“Sure,” I replied, watching him far more artfully than I trace it and add more detail. I didn’t have an amazing amount of talent when it came to drawing, but I had enough to sketch out my idea with the appreciation that Erik would be able to improve it dramatically before tattooing it on to my skin forever. Geoff was talking to a client that he recognised who was about as inked up as he was. It was a strange feeling walking into the parlour with such plain skin; I felt sort of naked.</p><p>Despite this, the atmosphere and artists were really welcoming especially since they were all so familiar with Geoff, easily striking up conversation with him as I floated around, gazing at the wall designs and hanging paintings. The studio smelled faintly of cleaning products which I supposed was a good thing.</p><p> Several minutes later, Erik beckoned me back over with the incredible interpretation of my rough sketch on paper, coloured with the hues I’d picked in my original drawing.</p><p>“How’s that?” he smiled, watching for my reaction as I grinned at his skill.</p><p>“Perfect!”</p><p>He sat me down in a black pleather chair and I leaned back comfortably as Geoff wandered over to sit by me on a stool. On my other side, Erik returned with the design inked in blue on what looked like tracing paper. I obligingly lifted my shirt up enough to reveal the location of where I’d been shot, which he had already known about in advance.</p><p>He raised his eyebrows a little at the faint red lines across my abdomen around it, but said nothing as he snapped on a pair of black nitrile gloves as he began to prepare the ink and needles.</p><p>“Violent cat,” I said by way of explanation.</p><p>“Ahhh,” Erik nodded. “Damn, it got you good.”</p><p>The butterflies had arrived, flitting around in my stomach unpleasantly as I nodded and reached for Geoff’s hand.</p><p>“It’ll be fine,” he told me firmly, meeting my eyes with his blue ones. “Relax.”</p><p>Erik smiled kindly. “Remember to breathe, okay? We don’t want you passing out.” He pressed the wet tracing paper against my abdomen and over my scar before peeling it back away, leaving the blue outline shining vividly on my skin. He braced his hand on my torso lightly as he steadied the needle and glanced at me for confirmation to begin.</p><p>Suddenly unable to look, I nodded and closed my eyes, gripping Geoff’s hand ten times tighter and hearing him make a tiny noise of what was probably pain in response.</p><p>“Don’t tense up,” he soothed, despite this. Reluctantly, I forced my body to relax before I felt a strange prickly feeling on my skin, the loud buzz of the tattoo needle ringing out through the studio. With each passing second, I expected it to get more painful but it didn’t, staying consistently slightly uncomfortable but never progressing past that as I watched Geoff observe what Erik was doing curiously.</p><p>I focused on breathing evenly, unsure how he could work on a moving surface and put it down to his skill level. By my logic the abdomen must be harder to tattoo than an arm or something, but all in all, Geoff had been right. I’d thought that this was going to be <em>way </em>worse. And perhaps it was far worse if it was on bone - I remembered when Geoff had recounted his tattoos on his elbows being nearly agonising because of the lack of flesh there.</p><p>“This isn’t so bad,” I commented aloud as Geoff smiled.</p><p>“Told ya.”</p><p>“It’s just gonna be a little boring for you,” Erik replied with a grin, working diligently. I still wasn’t convinced that I could look at the process without feeling sick, but instead gazed around the studio while the two of them had a conversation that didn’t involve me. I was almost getting used to the odd prickly feeling but as he started on filling the design in with colour, I felt the soreness begin to arise. Still, it was tolerable as I kept nice and still.</p><p>“So are you two together, or…?” Erik inquired casually, a little while later.</p><p>Trustingly, Geoff nodded. “Right after this, I want you to tattoo my name across her stomach.”</p><p>I tried not to laugh because it would possibly cause Erik to slip with the needle, but he seemed ready for my reaction, drawing away a little.</p><p>“<em>Don’t </em>do that,” I giggled.</p><p>“Really big, in a fancy font,” Geoff continued with the playful grin that I adored. “Just G-E-O-F-F.”</p><p>“Idiot,” I muttered, amused as Erik laughed and continued colouring once I was still enough again.</p><p>“Hey, it’s not my place to judge,” the tattooist smiled good-naturedly as the fluorescent light above bounced off of his bald head. “I’ve inked way weirder.”</p><p>This was probably true as I checked my Twitter for notifications, scrolling down on my cellphone’s screen and noticing how many people had liked my tweet telling the world I was getting my tattoo done right now. Feeling like I had the added support of the community made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.</p><p>The tattoo was a small, delicate and multicoloured hummingbird, colour ‘splashing’ purposefully outside of its outline in a watercolour-painting style and it was soon finished as Erik admired his hard work and applied a cold liquid spray before wiping it down.</p><p>“Want to see it before I wrap it?” he asked, proceeding to dispose of the used ink containers and his black latex-like gloves.</p><p>Geoff helped me to my feet as I stood in front of the full-length mirror and gazed at where the ugly scar had been entirely covered by a beautiful piece of art, the colours popping and the skin around it still reddened.</p><p>“The swelling will go down and the redness will go away,” Geoff smiled. “But it looks great already. You did great.”</p><p>Beaming because I was kind of proud of myself, I admired it from a couple of different angles, unable to stop staring at it until Erik finally insisted on rubbing lotion gently over it before wrapping it with cling-film like plastic and using masking tape to secure it to my torso. I was handed a bottle of the same lotion with instructions to use it regularly while I approached the register to pay.</p><p>“Thank you,” I breathed, giddy with happiness.</p><p>“You’re very welcome,” Erik replied. “You’re coming back again, right?”</p><p>I giggled. “We’ll see.”</p><p>With the bill settled, we climbed into Geoff’s car and slammed the doors shut as I carefully accounted for my now-tender skin beneath my shirt with regards to my seatbelt and the way I was sitting.</p><p>“I’ll drop you back at your place if you want because I need to go back to work,” Geoff sighed.</p><p>Agreeing with this though wishing he could come in with me, I kissed his lips goodbye and climbed the stairs to my apartment as I heard the sound of his Audi drive off. There was a surprise waiting for me when I unlocked my flat’s front door, the mouth-watering smell of food wafting straight at me. Wearing an apron she had dug up out of God-knows-where, Hanna was stirring a pan of sauce on the stove, turning to look at me with a huge grin on her face.</p><p>“How’d the tatt go?” she asked brightly, her hair tied up messily as she stirred a different pan of spaghetti.</p><p>“Great!” I answered her, giving her a preview of it even though it was covered in clear plastic, distorting the image and hiding the detail a little. The red lines of scratches had almost faded to nothing now.</p><p>Hanna leaned close to my torso, squinting at it a little. “That’s really pretty. Did the boyfriend hold your hand like you hoped he would?”</p><p>“Geoff was really sweet, yeah,” I nodded.</p><p>“Cool. Hope you like meatballs, by the way, because I decided to cook tonight,” my sister changed the subject, stating the obvious as she stood in my kitchen area with both the oven and stove on. “I made the tomato sauce from scratch.”</p><p>“It smells great,” I grinned. “I’ll trust that you’re not going to poison both of us.”</p><p>“Me? Absolutely not!” she gasped. “I’ve cooked for years, I know what I’m doing.”</p><p>Of course she had gotten good at it over the years – the last time I’d lived with her over a decade ago was when we were living on ramen and pasta, neither of us really caring to properly cook. Sometimes I forgot that we weren’t teenagers any more.</p><p>“Oh, by the way! Guess who I saw in the grocery store earlier!” she continued, pausing dramatically to presumably allow me to suggest some people and still not get the actual answer.</p><p>“The queen of England? Leonardo DiCaprio? Albert Einstein?” I guessed stupidly on purpose, causing her to laugh.</p><p>“Nope!” Hanna shook her head. “I saw Ian! Y’know, your ex!”</p><p>I froze, tingles of shock flooding my body as I began to feel a little faint. “What?”</p><p>“Yeah, how weird is that?” she carried on, unaware of how this was affecting me. “He said he’s moving here for work and he came to check out the city. I haven’t seen him in <em>years, </em>I bet you haven’t either, right?”</p><p>I didn’t know what to say. The only reason he had come here was to find me and try to start again if his messages were anything to go by and I didn’t <em>want</em> to try again. I wanted to be with Geoff and Ryan and not have feelings forced to the surface for a man I hadn’t seen in years, because I was fairly sure I wouldn’t be able to act indifferently around him considering how madly in love I’d been with him once upon a time. The idea of those feelings recurring caused panic to flood me because if there was one thing I desperately didn’t want, it was to damage my current relationships.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Hanna frowned, finally cottoning on that my reaction was a little more dramatic than she’d maybe expected.</p><p>I merely shook my head, thoughts racing. I needed to be honest with Ryan and Geoff before <em>I </em>happened to bump into Ian at the grocery store too because as it was I already felt guilty for not mentioning my messaging him, no matter how much I’d tried to put him off from flying here.</p><p>“I’m scared, Han.”</p><p>“Why?” she asked, confused.</p><p>“In case I realise I still love him.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You work out your feelings for your ex-boyfriend Ian, with the help of your sister, Hanna. Jeremy needs a hug. Ryan’s got good aim.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>A huge silence hung in the air before Hanna broke it, her eyes wide as she continued to stir the pan.</p><p>“You still love Ian? Does he still love you?”</p><p>I ran my fingers through my long hair agitatedly as I delved deep within myself. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I don’t want to see him again and suddenly realise I do, y’know?”</p><p>“So don’t see him,” Hanna shrugged. “You’re happy now, right?”</p><p>Nodding, I dumped my bag on the floor and flopped down onto my sofa sideways, staring at my smooth white living room ceiling. “Yeah. But…I thought he was ‘the one’ for a long time.”</p><p>It was true; since we’d met as young teenagers and as long as we were together, we’d basically planned a life ahead together. It was only because neither of us could handle a long-distance relationship that my moving away had meant we had been forced to break up. This guy had been my first love, the first person who had made me feel entirely comfortable to be me and someone I had even considered marrying years on from where we were. Over half a decade of a relationship that had been good was bound to drag feelings back up upon seeing one another again and my brain was telling me to run.</p><p>“So?” Hanna asked. “I’m telling you, ‘the one’ doesn’t exist. You had a good thing, sure, but now you have an even better thing…right?”</p><p>I considered it from this angle. She was right, it <em>was </em>better. I was happier, more confident than I’d ever been and it definitely wasn’t just from the sex but the connection too; I had a level of connection with the two of them that I’d never had with Ian in the entire seven years we’d known each other and been together. My feelings for Geoff and Ryan ran <em>deep</em> – I was definitely in love with them, <em>both </em>of them. That was precisely why I was so keen to safeguard the relationship and why, even after knowing them for only four years and being with them romantically for mere months, it would tear me apart to lose either of them. I guess sometimes, the heart doesn’t adhere to the rules.</p><p>Amongst all of these thoughts bubbling around in my mind, Hanna had served up the food onto two plates and had handed me one as I sat upright slowly, making her space to sit down beside me.</p><p>“Look, if you’re not sure,” she began, also handing me a fork, “maybe meet up with him to get confirmation before you tell your guys about something that’s potentially not even an issue?”</p><p>“No, I absolutely am sure,” I nodded as I tucked into the spaghetti. My sister had added the perspective and insight that I’d needed, settling my conscience. “I don’t need to meet up with him again.”</p><p>Hanna switched on the television, her mouth full of meatball. “’Kay.” She chewed and swallowed. “He’s obviously still in love with you, though.”</p><p>With a groan, I twirled some more spaghetti around my fork prongs. “He hasn’t moved on and he’s travelled here to find me. The fact he’s not over me is obvious.” Summing it up aloud like this only served to make Ian sound incredibly obsessive, something which I hadn’t properly considered before now. He had also seemingly ignored my message replying to his question about being taken and therefore not interested.</p><p>Maybe it would be better to cut this off at the roots and make it crystal clear to him that nothing was going to happen. Maybe the only way he could move on was by my being entirely firm with him in person, despite the fact that I didn’t really want to confront him, because while he was still clinging to some faint thread of hope, he wasn’t going to leave me alone.</p><p>***</p><p>He looked like hell. Sitting at his desk, barely with it and hopped up on cold medicine, Jeremy squinted at his screen as I stood a little way back from him in the support office. Matt noticeably wheeled his chair slightly further away from him as Jeremy coughed violently before groaning pitifully, determined to get his work done even though he must have felt like death.</p><p>“Here,” I said to him gently, placing the chicken noodle soup I’d brought down next to him as he smiled gratefully at me. “Make sure you eat it all.”</p><p>“Sure thing Ma,” he replied, not even sarcastically. He was wrapped in the blue fleece blanket that I’d brought him from home, unapologetically accepting my mothering of him.</p><p>“Dude, you should go home,” Matt commented, staring at his ill friend and colleague with distain. “You’re sick, Geoff’ll understand.”</p><p>Shaking his head ‘no’ in pure stubbornness, Jeremy stared back. “That’ll leave all my editing for you lot to do and that’s not fair, man. I can get through this. I’m only sitting here, I’m not trying to run a marathon.”</p><p>“I have no idea how he drove here this morning,” Trevor sighed. “Maybe that was before he took the cold medicine…” He placed his half-eaten turkey sandwich down on his plate at his desk before wiping his hands on his jeans, looking a little sheepish when he noticed me watching him do this.</p><p>“It had to have been,” Kdin nodded in agreement from across the room. “No way could he drive safely right <em>now.</em>”</p><p>“I’m fine,” Jeremy moaned, leaning forward on his desk so that he could rest his weary head on his forearms. “I’ll just…edit one more…”</p><p>“Alright buddy, come on,” I nudged him, not wanting him to fall asleep because he would definitely wake up achy and with a crick in his neck from the position he was sitting in.</p><p>“Yep, I’m alright,” he replied immediately, watery-eyed with illness as he looked back at his monitor, obviously attempting to focus before clutching his head in pain. “Ow. Okay. This week’s Minecraft Let’s Play. I can do this.”</p><p>“Jeremy…” I began, but Steffie strolled through the door, phone in her hand as she glanced around the room at our concerned expressions.</p><p>“Who died in here?” she joked.</p><p>“Well Lil’ J’s on his way out,” Trevor grinned, glancing between his two staff, as the person in charge of the B-Team office. “We’re trying to persuade him to go home, but he won’t.”</p><p>Jeremy coughed and spluttered again, ironically following this up by very unconvincingly stating yet again that he was ‘okay’.</p><p>“Dude, I swear to God, I’ll take over your work load on my own. Don’t you dare make us all sick,” Caleb chipped in, using reverse-psychology tactics now. “We can’t afford to have the whole office go down to what you have.”</p><p>This was clever. Jeremy was a loyal hard-worker by nature but when the situation was spun around to him like this, he visibly appeared to feel guilty.</p><p>“Well…I don’t wanna make everyone <em>else</em> sick…” he mumbled, slurping some of his soup and hiding his face a little as he did so.</p><p>“So go, we’ve got you,” Trevor shrugged before grinning. “And if I catch what you have, I’m coming for you.”</p><p>“I’m gonna call Kat to pick me up,” Jeremy finally repented, pulling out his phone and holding it up the wrong way while scrolling for five seconds before realising this and rotating it in his hand.</p><p>“That’s probably wise,” I nodded, patting his shoulder as my ears pricked up to the sound of Gavin and Ryan arguing on their return to the office after grabbing lunch.</p><p>“…you can’t just <em>expect </em>to win this bet,” Ryan was saying.</p><p>“But you don’t know you’ll definitely hit it!” Gavin was protesting.</p><p>“I have pretty good aim!”</p><p>I walked back through to our main office as the two of them bickered, watching as the pair walked over to the bookcase of random merchandise and fan-sent items. Slightly worryingly, they were hunting for the small black throwing knives that had been sent during AHWU weeks ago as was evident from their running commentary.</p><p>“What’s going on?” I asked, standing back away from them a little as a squatting Ryan finally brandished the three jet-black blades from the bottom shelf. At this point, it would have been remiss of me to <em>not </em>pull my phone out and film the two of them, right?</p><p>“Gavin doesn’t think that I can hit the same spot twice in a row,” Ryan replied simply to me and the camera, standing back up straight. “To be honest, I don’t know if I can either but I’m willing to try for money.”</p><p>I raised my eyebrows at Gavin. “Why would you make any bets with him involving knives after what happened last time?”</p><p>The ‘last time’ I was referring to was of course the incident earlier in the year, where Gavin had been oblivious to the oddly specific knowledge of ‘balanced blades’ that Ryan had when it came to getting a knife to stick into the wall when flung, and the way in which you needed to throw it to achieve this. Ryan had shown him up and won the bet spectacularly, even using a kitchen knife that wasn’t designed for that purpose and still nailing it.</p><p>“I just think that it’s really hard to hit the same spot twice,” Gavin shrugged as they picked where to throw from, using the corkboard as a target once again. “The odds of you getting it in three throws aren’t great.”</p><p>“So I do get all three throws?” Ryan asked for confirmation, getting a feel for the blades in his hand.</p><p>“Yeah, but two of them have to hit the same spot,” Gavin clarified. “Like, you throw one and take it out of the wall and if you hit the same marked spot, you win the fifty bucks.”</p><p>“<em>Fifty bucks?” </em>I asked incredulously, but the odds were in the lad’s favour. This was going to be far easier said than done, especially at the distance back from the wall that he was making the older man stand. Careful to keep the quality of my camerawork decent, I took a few more steps back to get this all in frame.</p><p>“Alright, make sure nobody walks through that door while I do this, I’m not trying to kill anybody,” Ryan smirked while lining up his aim, his hand raised with the first knife.</p><p>“We’re throwing knives in here, nobody move!” I yelled out to the B-Team, which was followed up by an, “Okay!” from what sounded like Steffie, as if this was completely normal in the Achievement Hunter office.</p><p>Well…it was, in some ways.</p><p>
  <em>Thunk!</em>
</p><p>The first knife stuck firmly near the middle of the corkboard. It was retrieved and the second knife was thrown.</p><p>
  <em>Thunk!</em>
</p><p>Gleefully, Gavin laughed at the distance between the two. “Not even close!”</p><p>I walked over to the corkboard to film the locations of the two small punctures in the light brown cork several inches apart as the lad retrieved the second knife before we both moved back out of the line of fire.</p><p>“I have another shot,” Ryan pointed out, taking his time on the last throw even after waiting for us to get out of the way. With patience and apprehension, Gavin and I waited as he concentrated.</p><p>
  <em>Thunk!</em>
</p><p>“No way, did that just-?” I stepped towards the knife lodged in the board, examining its location against the two other previous marks. They were all thin line punctures of course, but his third throw had crossed over the very tip of one of the former throw marks. “Ohhhh it did!”</p><p>“Did I hit it? Seriously?” Ryan asked in slight disbelief before he laughed at Gavin’s absolutely shocked expression.</p><p>“Unbelievable,” Gavin shook his head, laughing too but looking like he had no idea what to do with himself right now. “What are the damn odds?”</p><p>“Bad for you, apparently,” Ryan replied smugly. “Open your wallet, Gavin.”</p><p>As the lad passed him the dollar bill in defeat, I ended my filming of the scene on my phone, making a mental note to upload it later. Sometimes, pure almost-unedited footage was fun, especially when it was people in the office just mucking about randomly between actual shoots. I leaned around the door into the support office to let them know that they could leave if they wanted now that there was no longer any chance of them getting impaled.</p><p>“Kat’s here, I’m leaving,” Jeremy sniffed, taking the blue fleece blanket that was still around his shoulders with him as he picked up his bag to go and meet his girlfriend. “Bye guys.”</p><p>“Feel better soon!” we called to him as he exited with a small smile followed by another coughing fit.</p><p>“Jesus, he sounded like death,” Ryan commented, tucking his victory money into his own wallet as he sat down at his desk right before I flopped down beside him at mine. Gavin had left the room in a sulk after losing the bet, leaving the two of us in relative quiet.</p><p>“So, d’you throw knives often, or…?” I asked curiously before trailing off with a chuckle, because why did he seem to have skills in the most obscure of things? And why did the sight and idea of him holding a knife make me feel cautiously excited?</p><p>“No,” he smirked, cocking an eyebrow. “Why?”</p><p>My mind flashed back to the first night I’d spent at his place where he’d tied my hands to the headboard before brandishing a small flip knife, which at the time had somewhat freaked me out. I remembered the way he had stroked his finger tantalisingly down the skin between my breasts with his free hand, his other holding the blade nearby as he enjoyed the obvious effect this had had on me at the time. He had, for a few seconds, toyed with me by allowing me to wonder if he was going to use the knife <em>on me </em>before finally reassuring me that it was only for the safety of cutting my bounds if I wanted free at any moment.</p><p>Losing my nerve on what I’d wanted to say as I came back to reality, I shook my head and looked instead at my monitor screen as my computer awoke from sleep mode.</p><p>“You’re blushing,” Ryan stated.</p><p>“No I’m not,” I answered him, clicking around my folders to find a particular video I needed to edit.</p><p>“I mean…you are,” he grinned. “It’s okay. You can tell me what you were thinking when you’re ready.”</p><p>Something about the way he said that rather than push me for my answer made me wonder if he already knew exactly what was on my mind. I glanced sideways at him.</p><p>“I might have a knife kink,” I blurted nervously.</p><p>Looking entirely unfazed, Ryan gazed at me steadily. “Not in the stabbing sense, right?”</p><p>“No!” My eyes widened as I wondered if some people actually might be into that. Not that it was my place to kink-shame after everything I’d discovered I was into, mind you. “God, no. I mean like…in the scratching sense...but sharper.”</p><p>He paused and for a moment I wondered if I’d finally crossed the line, but as ever, he was utterly non-judgemental. His next statement did surprise me however.</p><p>“I’m telling you right now that I’m not bringing a knife into play in the bedroom.”</p><p>I tried not to look disappointed, but logically I understood; it was probably far too dangerous and especially in the heat of the moment it would be very easy to accidently cut somewhere vital and cause a lot of bleeding. With this thought passing across my mind’s eye, I realised that I very much <em>didn’t </em>have a blood fetish too as I squirmed slightly squeamishly.</p><p>“But…” he hesitated, his smile returning slowly as he picked his phone up off of his desk. “I did recently buy something safer that’s sharper than fingernails to use instead. Seeing as you’re so insatiable.”</p><p>I blinked at the image on his phone screen of the small black metal scratcher consisting of two parallel prongs fastened by two rings to allow a person to wear it on their finger, the points protruding past the fingertip when worn and looking fairly sharp but not enough to cut or pierce skin. I tilted my head to the side a little, my heart beat speeding up significantly because this would surely be a perfect balance between the scratching and the knife play idea.</p><p>“Do you already have it?” I asked quietly, because my curiosity to try it out was already brimming.</p><p>“It’s at home, but yes,” he answered with a chuckle. “I was thinking maybe at the weekend. After pizza? Maybe we could invite Geoff, too…”</p><p>Great, now my mind was racing along with my heart as lust burned lightly south through my body, not caring one iota that it was one in the afternoon and I was at work.</p><p>“Okay,” I giggled. “I still need to ask him about that pizza date by the way.”</p><p>“It’s fine, I’ll do it,” Ryan replied. “I need to run a few things by him anyway.” He closed the webpage on his phone and placed it back down on his desk before reaching to plug in his headset.</p><p>I blinked a little as I watched him for a few seconds while I wondered what he meant by that, but perhaps he was referring to the added toys that were suddenly becoming prominent in our bedroom activities such as the nipple clamps. I was interrupted in my thought process by Michael returning from lunch.</p><p>“What are you two up to all alone? You look super guilty,” he accused immediately as he yanked off his green beanie hat, observant as always as I inevitably blushed more, an unfortunate side effect of being told I was blushing.</p><p>“Nothing!” I protested instantly as Ryan laughed at my overreaction of a response because all we had been doing was having a conversation.</p><p>“Yeah?” Michael asked, before his face turned more serious. “I just had the fucking pleasure over lunch of being told that we have to be individually ‘Christmas themed’ for the office party this year. Did you two know about that?”</p><p>“No,” I frowned, glancing at Ryan to see him shaking his head. “We have to dress up?”</p><p>“No fucking idea,” Michael rolled his eyes in irritation as he reclined in his desk chair, leaning lazily sideways to switch on his PC. “I think they just mean at least wear a Santa hat or something.”</p><p>I laughed as Ryan sighed, possibly at the prospect of more costume-wearing. He was probably flashing back to Halloween when Millie and I had attacked him with makeup and cat ears at his predictable blatant refusal to get into the spirit. “I mean, is it really a Christmas party without people being Christmassy?”</p><p>“You can <em>be </em>Christmassy without dressing up though,” Michael said to me pointedly. “By getting fucking drunk.”</p><p>“Interesting definition,” Ryan chuckled. “I don’t know that I’ll be turning up in a full Santa suit or anything. Maybe Krampus.”</p><p>“The horns would definitely suit you,” I quipped quietly with an amused smile as he stuck his tongue out at me playfully in reply.</p><p>It was at this moment that Michael’s attention was drawn to the corkboard by chance. He frowned as though trying to figure out how the last remaining black throwing knife had become lodged in it where we’d left it.</p><p>“Has that always been there?” he asked whilst tilting his head to the side, his brow still furrowed.</p><p>“Won a bet,” Ryan shrugged by way of explanation.</p><p>“And of course it involved throwing sharp things,” Michael shook his head with a slight smile like a disapproving parent would that was fed up of their child’s antics but was also simultaneously amused by them.</p><p>“He more or less stole fifty dollars from Gavin with his weirdly impressive knife skills,” I added.</p><p>“Oh, Gavin? That’s like five dollars to him, he’ll recover,” Michael laughed at the expense of his best friend. “What was the bet?”</p><p>Ryan detailed it as the lad leaned forward in his seat to listen with curiosity before sitting back, breathing a sigh and giving his input.</p><p>“Okay, but to be fair, I’d probably have taken that bet too. Those are not great odds for you.”</p><p>“I didn’t think so either,” Ryan smiled a little sheepishly. “He looked really put-out that I actually did it.”</p><p>***</p><p>Last night I’d messaged Ian to meet up with me after work, with Hanna hovering over my shoulder to help me make sure I didn’t give any wrong impressions with my wording. I’d made it clear that we needed to talk. He had agreed.</p><p>Anxiously, I waited alone in a café near the city centre, sipping my decaffeinated coffee due to the time of the evening it was and trying not to devolve into panic at this upcoming meeting. It was one of my favourite local coffee houses, the room inviting with plush chairs and sofas as well as wooden chairs and tables. The lighting was warm and the general atmosphere was cosy with people chatting around me as they ordered their drinks and held light-hearted conversations with their social circles.</p><p>My watch told me he was late. I forced my hands to stop shaking by holding my cup with them both, warming them in the process. He had always been late to nearly everything, though he often played it off with a charming smile and apology and so mostly got away with it. Some things never changed.</p><p>I checked my phone, but there were no new messages after the one half an hour ago that simply said, <em>‘On my way.’</em></p><p>Another sip of my coffee and I placed it down on the low wooden table in front of my calves, playing with the zipper on my hoodie to keep my hands busy. Finally he arrived, sitting straight down opposite me with the recognisable handsome smile that had stolen my heart so long ago.</p><p>“Sorry I kept you waiting.” He had such long eyelashes. “I got lost.”</p><p>He removed his leather jacket, sitting in only a t-shirt that revealed his many grey arm tattoos that ended at his elbows, a lot of which I’d been present for him getting done many years ago and I also knew there were more on his torso beneath his clothes. His black floppy hair and hazel eyes were the same, but the rugged facial hair was a change and he looked a little older, as though he had matured.</p><p>My mouth opened but no words came, because I didn’t feel a rush of any particular emotion whatsoever like I’d been hoping would clarify how I truly felt. I took another sip of my coffee instead.</p><p>“You’re still as gorgeous as you always were,” Ian stated, his eyes watching me as I tried not to feel complimented. “I’m sorry I didn’t move out here with you.”</p><p>“You couldn’t,” I replied, clearing my throat because it ached for some reason. More coffee.</p><p>“I could have. I regret it now,” he continued. “We were meant to be.”</p><p>No…no, there was no such thing. It hadn’t worked out. That was the end of it. My craving to hold him needed to leave me alone.</p><p>“I didn’t want to interfere with your career,” Ian was saying as I wondered what on earth I was doing here, sitting before my ex-boyfriend. “I know it’s really important to you. My nan was equally as important to me but looking back…I should have picked you regardless. She always liked us together.”</p><p>He looked sad and a little dejected now as if he already knew what I was going to tell him as he wound his fingers together.</p><p>“Ian…I’m seeing someone else.” The words tumbled out before I could think of a more tactful way to state this.</p><p>“I know, you said,” he replied. “But I just think…if I still feel this strongly about you…what if you felt the same? It’s why I came here, I had to see you and tell you. I had to know. Do you still love me?”</p><p>And there it was as his eyes met mine, hopeful even in the face of unlikelihood. The irony that four years after he had smashed my heart into a million pieces, I was about to do exactly the same to him and neither of us had ever meant it maliciously or wanted to hurt one another. The truth was - and of this I was certain - I was no longer in love with the man before me. I would always love him dearly, but not in the way I loved Ryan and Geoff and as I communicated this to him minus the polyamorous part because it didn’t feel necessary, he nodded in understanding, his eyes more sombre than ever.</p><p>He reached across the table for my hand, which I allowed him to take for some reason. Perhaps it was because I was so sympathetic of how he was feeling. The silence weighed heavily.  </p><p>“I’m sorry,” I said without knowing how I could be, because how I felt wasn’t something I could change on a whim.</p><p>“It’s okay.” His quiet squeeze of my hand said it all. “He’s lucky to have you. It was too much for me to hope you still had feelings for me after all this time, but we were together for so long…”</p><p>My throat ached again, so I sipped my drink again, almost finishing it. He was hurting, I could see it clearly on his face. I hated hurting him, I always had. I wanted desperately to comfort him.</p><p>“I have to go,” I mumbled instead, placing my empty cup down on the low table and scooping up my purse as I did so. Ian stood up with me as I shrugged on my jacket.</p><p>“Thanks for being honest,” he told me earnestly, placing a hand on my arm gently as his hazel eyes met mine. “I appreciate that.”</p><p>I nodded and turned to leave without looking back, tears filling my eyes as I flung the café door open and walked hurriedly into the street in the direction of home, unable to catch my breath for several paces as the cold air cruelly stung my wet cheeks.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Pizza</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Pizza is gooood. Also, the Millie conversation was inspired by an Off-Topic in which Geoff says a lot of those actual things (though I was writing it was from memory). XD ]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Neither of us had dressed up in an overly fancy way; Saturday evening date night was going to be remarkably casual anyway. If anything I was dressed up more underneath my black jeans and black sleeveless button-up semi-sheer blouse, my matching underwear lacy, dark red and daring with the knowledge I was almost definitely going to have fun tonight.</p><p>Hanna kept twitching the curtain, her eye makeup and lipstick immaculate as she straightened her grey polo-neck jumper that revealed no skin but hugged her figure snuggly. She had paired this with her best light blue jeans, perfectly achieving a casual style whilst also looking stunning. Todd’s eyes were probably going to fall out of his head when he saw her if he knew what was good for him.</p><p>“What time did Ryan say he’d be here?” she asked, tapping her foot a little. Some might view this as impatience but I knew it was really from the nerves of a first date.</p><p>I brushed my hair as best as I could, though its wavy nature caused it to rebel a little against being neatened. “Eight. What are the chances of you bringing Todd back here tonight?” I added slyly.</p><p>Hanna looked at me for a moment then, as though she was trying to work out if I was going to judge her reply. “That depends on where you’ll be…”</p><p>“I won’t be here,” I said simply, applying eyeliner now in my bathroom mirror with the door wide open so we could still talk.</p><p>“Well then I guess it depends on how well the date goes,” Hanna grinned, unzipping her purse to make sure she’d put her phone in there. “You don’t mind, do you?”</p><p>Switching to my other eye with the ebony pencil, I smiled. “As long as I don’t get details, I don’t care either way. Don’t forget your key though.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve got it,” she replied, checking the window again to look down at the street in case anyone had turned up yet. “By the way, I might have found a flat.”</p><p>Surprised, I walked back through to the living room, picking up my black leather jacket as I went. Dammit, where was my phone? “Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s not far from here but it’s similar to this place,” she shrugged. “I’ll finally be out from under your feet.”</p><p>Frowning a little, I watched her continue to rifle through her purse. I didn’t want rid of her if that’s what she thought, though admittedly there wasn’t a whole lot of room here for us both. She’d put up with sleeping on the sofa for weeks, but she was probably dying to sleep in an actual bed again as well as have her own space. Despite living alone for years, I was definitely going to miss her company.</p><p>I found my phone on my nightstand and pocketed it after checking for messages. Then I caught sight of myself in my mirror and my hand went straight to my bare neck. Where was my choker?</p><p>Checking her own messages, Hanna leapt to her feet as her ride arrived. “Todd’s outside. I’ll see you in a while okay?” She was out of the door in a flash, her jacket and purse over her arm as I shouted ‘bye!’ and continued to hunt. Drawers of my nightstand, the top of my chest of drawers, the sink in my bathroom, the shelf in there too, my kitchen counter, my wooden television stand…<em>where was it?</em></p><p>A strange sense of loss washed over me as I stared around my flat, trying to remember when I had last been wearing it. I’d taken it off to shower this morning…but where had I placed it? I couldn’t figure out why it was bothering me so much, except that I’d been wearing it so much lately because I now associated it with the playful ‘ownership’ Ryan and Geoff had of me.</p><p>My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket a minute later, prompting me to pick it up as I continued to search. “Hey Ry.”</p><p>“I’m outside if you want to come down,” he replied, having obviously parked up.</p><p>“I can’t find my choker,” I said distractedly, checking behind things now in case it had fallen out of sight. “I’ll be down in a minute.”</p><p>“Wait there.” He hung up, leaving my hands free once again to search. I was now checking my bedsheets in case I’d laid it on the bed and it had gotten caught up when I’d remade it earlier. Maybe on the floor under or by my bed, round by the window?</p><p>A knock at my door interrupted me but I knew it was Ryan. I opened my flat door intending to enlist his help but instead I stopped dead and stared, completely distracted. He was wearing jeans like usual but they weren’t his work jeans; they looked newer and fitted him better and rather than his usual choice of t-shirt, he was wearing a partially-untucked navy blue Henley, the top button undone and the sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms.</p><p>“Damn you look good,” I breathed with a laugh, standing aside to let him in. “Did you hire a personal stylist?”</p><p>Chuckling, Ryan raised an eyebrow at my cheeky remark. “I know I have very little sense of style, but come on. That hurts.”</p><p>Shaking my head and going back to searching as he assisted, I persisted. “No, really. Who dressed you?”</p><p>“Okay, Meg may have helped,” he admitted, checking down my sofa cushions now. “She brutally told me, and I quote, ‘you cannot go out looking like you normally do’.”</p><p>I couldn’t help it; I burst into laughter as I made a mental note to thank her for her input as one of his best female friends and colleagues. “You look fine normally! But…you do look like a ‘Dad’ a lot of the time. Which is fine, but…look, I’m attracted to you in spite of your style choices, okay? You’re perfectly handsome no matter what you wear.”</p><p>With a smirk, Ryan shot me a look, his reply laced with sarcasm. “Thanks.” He checked behind my television stand and with a triumphant ‘aha!’ he stood up straight holding my velvet choker. “You really wanted to find this before we left, huh? Is it that important?”</p><p>I shrugged. “It’s…our thing. So yeah.” I tried not to look too relieved that I could wear it once again.</p><p>“C’mere.” His blue eyes observed me with understanding as he waited for me to walk over to him. I gathered pretty quickly that he was going to fasten it for me so I turned away from him and lifted my hair out of the way while he clipped it around my neck. It was perhaps one notch tighter than I normally would have worn it, but something about having it against my skin again made me feel strangely safe.</p><p>“Thanks,” I replied, picking up my purse as he followed me out of my flat and down to his car.</p><p>“No problem.”</p><p>As we headed for the restaurant, I noticed that Geoff’s car was already in the parking lot as he stood outside leaning against it, bare arms folded and a bored expression on his face. I was out of the car before Ryan had even unclipped his seatbelt in my haste to apologise for making us late.</p><p>“What held you two up?” Geoff smiled whilst looking me over, I noticed. I slid my arms around his neck and kissed his lips softly and briefly, happy to see him as I noticed he was wearing a nice pale blue t-shirt that brought out his gorgeous eyes.</p><p>“I thought I’d lost this,” I mumbled, pulling away and gesturing to my neck as Ryan locked his car and strolled around to stand with the two of us. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Ahh, your collar, right.” Geoff’s eyes glinted mischief. “It’s fine.”</p><p>There was a slight pause. “It’s a choker,” I corrected him.</p><p>“Sure,” Ryan smirked in a way that said that he didn’t believe it wasn’t basically a collar for a second.</p><p>I wasn’t sure why I’d bothered; for all its implications at this point, it might as well have been.</p><p>Millie was at a sleepover with Griffon hosting and providing treats and age-suitable films, so unfortunately she couldn’t come tonight but part of me figured that was probably a good thing; as much as I adored her it meant we could talk normally without guarding our words because of a nine year-old being present. This left us to enter the pizza place as a trio instead, the waiter greeting us with a smile as he asked us if there was any particular table we’d like.</p><p>Scanning the room quickly, I pinpointed Hanna and Todd over in the corner booth. A few tables behind it was another empty booth, so we were walked over and seated there upon request, Geoff choosing to sit opposite me and Ryan beside me. I wedged my purse down between my leg and the wall as we were handed menus and given time to pick what we wanted to eat.</p><p>There was no way I could eat a whole pizza in one sitting as big as they made them here, but I also knew that they would box up your leftovers to take home afterwards, so we unanimously agreed pretty quickly to have a pizza each.</p><p>“Meat supreme,” Geoff said as the waiter returned and jotted that down. “And a diet Coke and…just…that,” he caught himself, clearly having been about to order alcohol before his mind had caught up. He shuffled uncomfortably, his eyes dropping to the table.</p><p>“I’ll have one of those too,” Ryan smiled. “With extra cheese on it. And a diet Coke.”</p><p>I picked out my pizza with extra cheese too plus a lemonade to drink as we were left in silence, the waiter returning to the kitchen to put in our table order.</p><p>“You look really cute tonight,” Ryan said, meeting my eyes from beside me as I sheepishly tried to take the compliment like a normal person. I noticed that Geoff had nodded in agreement.</p><p>“Thanks…you two look great too,” I giggled a little, glancing across at where I could see Hanna and Todd laughing as they talked. Then something occurred to me. “Hey Ryan, you mentioned that Meg helped you with your choice in clothes for tonight, right?”</p><p>Geoff snorted a little, though not in surprise.</p><p>Cheeks a light shade of pink, Ryan laughed. “Yeah. Alright, I admit it.”</p><p>“How hard did she whittle you down for who you were going out with on a date tonight?” I asked with a grin, knowing that Meg was a pretty persistent person, especially with those she was close to.</p><p>“Ohhh, so hard,” he replied as the waiter waltzed back over with our drinks and disappeared again. “She <em>really </em>wanted to know. I think she thought she was close to breaking me a few times but I still wouldn’t say.”</p><p>Geoff sipped his drink with a smile and a wink at me. “Well if she asks Gavin, he won’t know. He only knows who I’m dating.”</p><p>“She probably wanted to know who your ‘type’ would be,” I grinned, drawing absently on the table with my drink’s wet condensation. “Little does she know that your ‘type’ is ‘kinky bitch’.”</p><p>“So, you,” Geoff replied pointedly, raising his eyebrows. “Ryan filled me in on everything yesterday.”</p><p>My cheeks felt warm at these words as I realised that he was now completely up to date on my kinks, or at least, the ones I knew about. I obviously had no issue with this, but I did wonder what he was thinking right now after clearly having had quite a lot piled on him during his conversation with Ryan about me. Although after he’d choked me in the shower, perhaps he wasn’t overly surprised about the scratching toy and nipple clamps.</p><p>“Are you okay with it all?” I asked him, unsure as I gazed at him across the table.</p><p>“I am if you are,” he smirked in response, giving me all of the confirmation I needed that we were all on the same page. “I always thought you were so innocent before we got together, but I guess not…”</p><p>I wanted to keep the conversation light-hearted, but there was also something that I felt I needed to bring up as a total change of subject, if only to clarify that there was very much not an issue. Slightly nervously, I took a gulp of lemonade.</p><p>“I’ve been…talking to my ex through messages.”</p><p>Ryan bristled a little beside me as Geoff looked surprised.</p><p>I continued because now I’d started, I might as well finish. “He wanted to see if we could try again in relationship terms. He’s the guy that stayed behind after I moved here for work, years ago.”</p><p>Ryan said nothing, his fingers folding his napkin delicately on the table almost as though distracted, if it weren’t for the fact I knew he was hanging on to my every word.</p><p>“He flew out here the other day,” I said, feeling as though I was digging a metaphorical hole with a metaphorical shovel. “And I met up with him the other evening.”</p><p>Geoff’s eyes noticeably narrowed a little as he interlinked his fingers, his colourful forearms resting on the table’s surface. He was clearly wondering where this little story was going.</p><p>“He told me he’s still in love with me,” I mumbled, hating that I’d brought this up now. “And…I briefly…was worried I might still be in love with him too.”</p><p>Ryan’s fingers had now taken to tearing the napkin into neat, consistent little squares before he quietly asked, “And what did you tell him?”</p><p>“I told him that I’m with someone else,” I told them honestly. “I told him I don’t feel like that about him anymore. I realised that when I met up with him.”</p><p>There was a heavy, awkward silence as Geoff continued to stare at me and Ryan continued to rip his napkin.</p><p>“How do you really feel?” Geoff prompted, his voice very slightly strained. “Was that the truth, what you told him?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded, deliberately meeting his gaze in my determination to make him believe me. “I’m head over fucking heels for you two. The fact he turned up out of the blue shocked me, but I met up with him to tell him firmly that nothing was going to happen. I’ve…changed since then, for the better. You guys mean everything to me.”</p><p>To my surprise, I felt Ryan’s arm slide around my waist as he drew me closer to him in a somewhat possessive manor, tiny napkin squares scattered all over his bit of the table now.</p><p>“Thank God,” he murmured with affection in his voice, finally looking at me. “Because you’re mine and I love you.”</p><p>“And I love you as well,” Geoff smiled gently, reaching for my hand across the table and gripping it tightly.</p><p>“Aww…I love you both too.” Giddy warmth filled me as smiled weakly and gratefully, trying to vocalise how hard and how much I meant that. “I didn’t realise you two were the jealous types, given the whole poly relationship thing.”</p><p>“I can only handle sharing you with one other person and that’s because I know them and we exchange details,” Geoff stated as the pizza arrived, piping hot and on three huge circular boards. “I couldn’t do it if you were with someone I didn’t know. If you just disappeared off with some fuckin’ stranger to have sex, I wouldn’t be able to cope with that. The way we have it, I know the only other person you’re with is someone I trust to keep you safe.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s about where I am with it,” Ryan added, letting me go to free up his hands to serve himself food. “I’m not proud of this, but for a second there jealousy was beginning to rear its ugly head.”</p><p>We helped ourselves to our pizza, the conversation turning back to jovial comments about how good the food was and wondering how Hanna was getting along on her own date a few tables away - I was feeling much lighter with the secret of communication with Ian off of my chest now. Any time I spent any time with these two, I realised again and again how lucky I was and how much I adored them both as Ryan attempted to ask for a diet Coke refill and completely messed up his words in the process, having to begin again with the sentence from scratch while Geoff sniggered, having pointed out his ‘flub’.</p><p>It wasn’t just that I craved them both physically a lot of the time, it was that I genuinely felt as though I was in love with the pair of them to the point of doing anything for them and never wanting to lose them. Part of that could be attributed to being friends with them for years prior to entering into a relationship with them, but how I felt about Geoff and Ryan honestly made my relationship with Ian look like a casual high school romance in hindsight and as I watched them eat, drink and make jokes, I thought about how completely heartbroken I would be if either one of them suddenly said they didn’t want to be with me any more. I actually had to snap myself back to reality because the emotional pain of that thought was starting to make me genuinely ache inside, so I quickly focused on the present conversation.</p><p>“…and then she said I wasn’t ‘the best Dad ever’,” Geoff was saying. “Like, she admitted I’m pretty cool, right? But she stated pretty clearly that I wasn’t ‘the best’.”</p><p>Ryan looked amused. “Wow, that’s harsh. How does she know that?”</p><p>“Millie said that to you?” I asked, tilting my head a little in confusion as I caught up.</p><p>“Yeah! My daughter told me that she knows for a fact that I’m not ‘the best Dad’.” He shook his head. “Her reasoning was that I couldn’t possibly ‘be the best’ because someone else out there is.”</p><p>“Jesus, she’s brutal,” I laughed.</p><p>“Wow, I can’t wait until my kids start saying that to me,” Ryan chuckled sarcastically. “You’re not the best, you’re just ‘okay’.”</p><p>“Eli and Livvy will probably start taping knives to their toys with electrical tape soon enough,” I poked fun, watching his expression turn to one of humoured protest.</p><p>“I’m not going to let them play with knives!”</p><p>Geoff just grinned at him before looking at me. “Ryan’s kids start school with missing fingers and when the teacher asks their dad why, he just explains that he told them to <em>learn by doing.”</em></p><p>“That is a perfectly valid parenting technique!”</p><p>“Yeah until your kid puts his hand on the stove,” Geoff shrugged, filling his mouth with most of a pizza slice.</p><p>“Hey, I’d like to think Eli is smarter than that,” Ryan said firmly, defending his almost three year-old son. “Also, I’m not going to <em>let </em>him do that if he tries.”</p><p>“Alright, we get it,” I grinned, nudging him with my elbow as I chomped some more of my own pizza. Once again, my eyes slid over to Hanna’s table, but she looked totally happy which was refreshing. I guess the date was going well, which made me feel better about going home with my guys later on rather than with her back to my flat.</p><p>We ate most of our pizza between us, but inevitably there was still some to be boxed up and taken home. Geoff skipped out on desert, but Ryan and I wanted cake so he sat watching us as we ate.</p><p>“You sure you don’t want any?” I offered him a little of the gooey chocolate cake on the end of my fork. “It’s really good…”</p><p>“Fuck, it is,” Ryan said through a mouthful of his portion, licking the icing from his fork once he’d swallowed. “Oh it’s <em>so </em>good. You don’t know what you’re missing, Geoff.”</p><p>“I’m not really into sweets,” Geoff shrugged, smiling.</p><p> I dipped my finger into the runny chocolate icing cascading off of the warm slice and held it up to his mouth. “Go on…”</p><p>Playfully, he grinned. “Fine.” He sucked my finger clean, gently with his tongue and mouth. “Huh, not bad.”</p><p>“Not bad?” Ryan asked incredulously. “You have no taste buds.”</p><p>I giggled as we finished our deserts and paid, with Geoff picking up the bill to make things simple as Ryan handed him a bill for his half, the two of them paying for mine between them and tipping our waiter generously.</p><p>We finally stood up to leave, having noticed Hanna and Todd doing the same across the room. Catching my eye, she gave me a thumbs up when her date wasn’t looking and I gave her the same signal back, our silent confirmation that she was fine.</p><p>“Well, you have a choice now,” Geoff grinned at me as we traipsed out to the cars in the parking lot. “Who do you wanna ride with?”</p><p>It figured that Geoff was bringing his own car so that he could leave any time and not be stuck there, since Ryan lived quite a way out of town, easily the furthest of us all in Achievement Hunter and probably most of Rooster Teeth.</p><p>Unsure and not wanting to pick between them, I shrugged sheepishly. “Uh…”</p><p>Making my mind up for me, Ryan smirked. “Go with Geoff, otherwise you’ll have to put up with my terrible singing the whole time.”</p><p>So after kissing Ryan on the lips briefly, I climbed into Geoff’s Audi.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Behaved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You get utterly dominated and you love it.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning (read: a lot more threesome filth)</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“This is a first,” Geoff remarked as he drove. “Never been to Ryan’s place before.”</p><p>I supposed this shouldn’t surprise me; they didn’t commonly tend to hang out after work and if they ever did, it was always at Geoff’s place because it was much closer to the office and thus, much more convenient. He was always the one to host parties too along with the fact that Ryan tended to keep his family life mostly private when it came to his children, meaning his house was never the location for any social event.</p><p>“It’s completely normal,” I grinned, playing into the long-running joke that had been made around the office, no matter how silly, about Ryan secretly being his Minecraft/GTA V psycho persona. “No dead cows anywhere.”</p><p>He laughed at this, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel a little to the rhythm of the music on the radio in the background. “What about dead people?”</p><p>“None of those either.” I adjusted my position in my seat a little so that my sleeveless blouse wasn’t rubbing uncomfortably on my fresh tattoo on the left of my torso. “Are tattoos supposed to itch?”</p><p>“A little,” Geoff shrugged. “Keep moisturising it and don’t scratch it.”</p><p>I nodded, reaching for my purse and pulling out my tube of lotion. Carefully because I didn’t want to mess up his expensive car – something which Geoff took pride in – I squirted some on to my fingers and lifted my top with my other, the cold sensation of the cream soothing the warm itchiness as I massaged it in. It was only a small tattoo, but I definitely didn’t want it to get damaged before it had properly healed.</p><p>The time passed pleasantly fast as we finally pulled up into the neighbourhood Ryan lived in with Geoff parking outside his house in the spare drive space. We all stepped inside and suddenly, my stomach seemed to screw itself up into a tiny ball because tonight had been on my mind for days and now we were here. Last time I’d been in a threesome with the two of them, they had pretty much sprung it on me – though had still sought my consent – and had left me very little time to care about being nervous, but right now I’d had far too much time to dwell on it and my anxiety was kicking in hardcore.</p><p>Ryan beckoned us upstairs after we kicked off all our shoes and I wondered briefly if they were as nervous as I was while I followed them along the landing and across to the bedroom. They had to have a plan, right? Meanwhile while I knew what it would likely involve, I was in the dark.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Geoff asked me, noticing how quiet I’d gone as Ryan crossed the room to his nightstand.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m just…nervous…for some reason.” I let out a small laugh as though I thought this was ridiculous, while I perched on the end of the big bed. Geoff sat beside me, stroking a hand down my bare arm comfortingly.</p><p>“The second anything you don’t like happens or starts to happen, tell us,” he told me firmly. “That’s why there’s a safe word. We respect you, no matter what.”</p><p>With a small reassured smile, I glanced over at Ryan who was laying things out on the bed systematically as he glanced at me.</p><p>“I think you just need some direction because you’re used to being told what to do,” he smirked as my eyes lit up at the array of kinky toys. “So why don’t we start with this: undress.”</p><p>A thrill ran through me immediately as my hands went to the buttons of my black blouse. Somehow, he was right - it did quell my nerves to be given instruction so I obeyed, unfastening it all of the way down as they watched before throwing it aside.</p><p>“Nice bra,” Geoff grinned, eying up my dark red lacy number as I blushed and stood up in front of the pair of them to shimmy out of my black jeans to reveal the matching panties, pulling my socks off as I went and bundling my clothes together in a pile over the chair in the corner of the room.</p><p>“Wow,” Ryan murmured, watching as I walked back over to the bed. “And your tattoo looks great, too.”</p><p>“Yeah, about that…please don’t touch it,” I requested, remembering what Geoff had said in the car as Ryan drew my eyes back to the toys because he was picking up the nipple clamps.</p><p>“We won’t.” Geoff was watching him.</p><p>“Lay down,” Ryan directed me, so I padded over barefoot and crawled to the centre of the bed, laying on my back as I gazed at the two of them while they knelt on either side of me, making me feel extremely vulnerable as my heart thudded. He reached under me and unhooked my bra, looping it off over my arms with ease before throwing it in the rough direction of the chair where the rest of my clothes were.</p><p>Before I could respond to this vocally or otherwise, Geoff had leaned down to lightly suck on my nipple as Ryan’s thumb traced circles around and over my other, drawing a surprised moan from my lips as I arched a little in response. Geoff didn’t nip or bite like Ryan, but he was flicking his tongue back and forth and making me squirm somewhat as the slightly younger man ran his other hand delicately up my thigh, teasingly close to my crotch. Despite all of this, my heart was still racing.</p><p>“Relax,” he soothed, a smile on his face as he began to gently trace his nails over my hip before Geoff pulled away, allowing for Ryan to clip the alligator clamps to my now erect nipples one after another, loosely at first. The pair watched me as I whimpered due to his tightening them, using both hands on the tiny dials to adjust them simultaneously, the purple metal chain that linked them resting on my abdomen.</p><p>“Shit,” I cursed as he finally stopped, the clamps pinching hard and sending waves of excitement through me. “Oh God that’s tight.”</p><p>“I told you she looks pretty wearing them,” Ryan smirked at Geoff, who was gazing at me hungrily. His eyes flicked back to me. “Sit up and kneel.”</p><p>As soon as I did so, I felt Geoff begin to tie my wrists together behind my back, his hands making quick work of securing me before he traced a few fingers teasingly up the skin of my back to my neck. I whined a little, because gravity was doing the work of very slightly pulling on the chain between the clamps. His lips against the shell of my ear, he began to kiss there gently.</p><p>Wriggling playfully a bit, I realised how well he’d tied the rope because I actually couldn’t get free even when I tried and now Geoff’s hand was sliding up my front, over the chain and up to my neck.</p><p>“You’re like our little pet,” he breathed, nibbling my ear as I closed my eyes in pleasure, his hand tightening on my throat considerably more. “All collared and tied. Make sure you keep still.”</p><p>A second later and Ryan was directly kneeling beside me again, lightly running the cold metal scratcher over my shoulder and down my back to give me a feel for it before he went any harder. The two-pronged toy looked exactly like it had in the image – matt black, the spokes parallel and fastened by two rings so that it was wearable on a single finger, the prongs extending past the fingertip to enable the user to scratch with as much or little force as they wished.</p><p>I accustomed to it quickly as it felt very much how I’d expected, causing the hairs on my skin to stand upright from the pleasant stimulation. The second time he did it was much harder as the trail burned into my skin from the sharpness, causing my head to fall back in a loud moan as Geoff smirked against my neck.</p><p>“Good girl,” he murmured, his hold on my neck not loosening as his other hand reached to tweak the hanging chain, causing me to whimper again as my nerves faded and I began to completely submit.</p><p>Ryan continued, varying where he scratched but never letting up, as though he were an artist painting my back with scratches as I tried desperately to keep still. I began to fail, squirming away from him even though the pain was so oddly good. Geoff’s grip of the front of my neck tightened.</p><p>“Keep still,” Ryan told me, his voice low. “We’re not going to tell you again.”</p><p>With this impending threat I bit my lip and closed my eyes, only struggling to breathe a little as I realised how wet I was already while I tried to keep my back straight, still kneeling upright.</p><p>He pressed harder with the metal and though it still wasn’t capable of drawing blood by a long shot, it still burned considerably more than fingernails and caused me to groan at the mixture of sensations. Geoff kissed my neck softly, confusing my body as I relaxed right before Ryan scratched me again, even harder.</p><p>Because I yelped a little this time, he hesitated before going again, watching me. The next one was marginally more forgiving and due to being on my right, he had begun to scratch up my exposed abdomen too, carefully avoiding my new ink on my left. I clenched my tied hands into fists behind my back, still moaning softly with every trail as he decorated my skin with harsh red lines.</p><p>“You’re such a little pain slut,” Geoff told me in my ear, finally letting go of my throat and allowing me to breathe properly. I smiled a little at the brutal honesty before moaning again because Ryan had decided to tug on the clamps’ chain with his finger. I squirmed a little at the next scratch, the white hot lines only serving to heighten my arousal on every draw.</p><p>“I told you to keep still,” Ryan smirked, his eyes darkening as he pushed me forwards gently by the back of my neck, causing me to lose my balance and fall face-down on the bed, still on my knees. I turned my head sideways so that I could breathe, watching Geoff as he picked something up from the array of toys behind me on the bed.</p><p>With relish, he stroked over my ass with one hand before sliding my panties down my thighs and off completely, not giving me much choice about assisting him in this as he lifted first one knee and then the other to get them off. “This one was my idea.”</p><p>
  <em>Swat.</em>
</p><p>I gasped at the brief feeling of the cold faux-leather against my skin in the form of a long paddle as he was able to catch both my ass cheeks at once with it, repeatedly. This smarted one hell of a lot more than a hand and I was very quickly whimpering for mercy.</p><p>“Maybe you should have done as you were told,” Ryan simpered, stroking my hair as he watched Geoff turn my ass very quickly red.</p><p>I clenched my hands into fists, aroused beyond belief as Geoff punished me before finally giving me reprieve for a few moments while he slid his hand between my parted legs and under me to stroke my wetness, eliciting a pleasured moan from me. This only lasted mere seconds though before he was back to paddling me.</p><p>“I’ll do as I’m told, I swear!” I promised, wincing with each new sharp ‘<em>swat’. </em></p><p>“Really?” Ryan asked, stroking a finger softly along the side of my face that wasn’t pressed into the duvet as Geoff continued. “Do you mean that?”</p><p>“Yes!” I whimpered, my ass stinging deliciously.</p><p>“Prove it.” Geoff prompted and I felt him reach to untie my wrists.</p><p>Placing my hands on the bed either side of me, I lifted my upper body up until I was on all fours, watching as Ryan removed his shirt followed by his jeans and underwear in one fell swoop before laying back and resting his weight on his forearms. This unspoken message was pretty clear and with no demand needed, I crawled away from Geoff a little until I was close enough to take Ryan’s length into my mouth as he made a small noise of appreciation.</p><p>Paddle abandoned now, Geoff stroked over my heated sore ass with his hands as he watched this and I heard the distinct sound of him removing his own clothing behind me.</p><p>“Fuck her,” Ryan growled at him over my shoulders before returning to watching me pleasure him with my mouth. “Hard.”</p><p>Probably not because he’d been told to but because he was going to anyway, Geoff pushed slowly into me as I moaned around Ryan’s dick causing his hand to find my hair, gripping it tightly. Still, he allowed me to go at my own pace as I dared to go as far down as I could each time without gagging, all of the movement causing yet more stimulation to my clamped nipples as the chain swung a little, reminding me that that it was still there.</p><p>“You’re so good at this,” Ryan purred, biting his lower lip as he watched me.</p><p>I smiled innocently by way of reply and continued, moaning a little more around him as Geoff increased how hard he was thrusting into me whilst gripping my hips. I desperately wanted to touch myself but in the position I was in I actually couldn’t if I was going to carry on sucking Ryan’s dick so diligently. Besides, maybe he was right – maybe I should behave. So I continued to balance on one arm, my other hand aiding my mouth on him.</p><p>With his hand tangled in my hair, he pulled lightly on it to indicate I should stop after a little while so I met his eyes right as I popped him out of my mouth, waiting for what he was about to say while he smirked.</p><p>“Turn around,” he said, as I felt Geoff leave me.</p><p>Obediently, I turned on the bed, still on my hands and knees as Geoff lay back for me to do the same to him that I’d just done to Ryan as the latter man began to fuck me from behind instead. My mouth wrapped around the slightly older man’s dick now, I groaned because Ryan’s pace was quicker, rougher and his nails were digging into my thighs already as he claimed me. He wasn’t the only one though; Geoff was feeling rougher too as evidenced by his decision to grip my hair near my scalp and be more directive with what I was doing.</p><p>“Fucked by two guys in the space of minutes,” Geoff smirked down at me, lust in his eyes as he spoke softly. “Dirty slut. Do you like the taste of your own pussy?”</p><p>I groaned, having given myself over to them both a while ago but now really feeling like the submissive I truly was. I nodded a little, but it was difficult with my mouth full. I squeaked as Ryan landed a slap on my ass with his hand.</p><p>“He asked you a fucking question.”</p><p>Freeing up my mouth, I swallowed and nodded, overtaken by desire. “Yes.”</p><p>As usual, Ryan wasn’t about to let this one-word answer go as he slapped my ass a second time. “Yes <em>what?” </em></p><p>Purposefully, I met Geoff’s eyes as he waited for my reply but my face burned pink with a hint of humiliation. “Yes, I like the taste of myself on you, <em>Sir</em>.”</p><p>Geoff chuckled as I submissively got back to work on him, with Ryan releasing his vice-like grip of the skin of my ass as I ached from his fingernails and he continued to fuck me with a vengeance. It was getting harder and harder to resist touching myself, but I also wasn’t sure I could take more paddling so I held off some more in the hopes that they would both take mercy on me once they’d had their fun.</p><p>It wasn’t long before Geoff was moaning that he was going to come and knowing that I was willing, he kept hold of my hair near my scalp as I coaxed him to shoot it down my throat, which he did within the next several seconds while I swallowed compliantly. Licking my lips and smiling up at him, he just groaned, changing his grip on my hair to a softer, more affectionate stroking of it.</p><p>Undeniably, my display of dirtiness was what tipped Ryan over his edge too with a throaty moan of my name accompanied by several cuss words as he filled me. Unlike Geoff who had seemed to mellow after his orgasm, Ryan only seemed to become more domineering as he reached to grab me, pulling me upright and backwards against him with his arm diagonally across my chest, securing me as my hands went to his arm in surprise.</p><p>“I bet you really need to come right about now,” he said in my ear, his breathing still heavy. For fun and because I was feeling playful and horny as hell, I pretended to struggle against his hold on me as he sat us both down, me now sitting between his legs but still with my back pressed against his chest.</p><p>“I do, I really do,” I admitted, nodding and loving how he had just somehow escalated this. “Please…”</p><p>“Keep still or you don’t get it.” He began to litter my neck with possessive kisses and gentle bites, but he couldn’t seem to help grinning a little. “Stop squirming or I’ll hurt you again.”</p><p>With a gentle groan, I relaxed against him to be still as he continued to attack my neck.</p><p>Geoff approached with something little and purple in his hand now as he unclipped the tight alligator clamps and tossed them aside, causing a strangely pleasurable stinging sensation to rush through my nipples. “You’ve been such a good girl for us,” he smirked, flicking the switch on the item in his hand and causing me to immediately realise what it was as I squirmed against against Ryan’s vice grip on my body in anticipation – a small pebble-shaped vibrator.</p><p>I’d never used one before because I’d never had the balls to buy one, but the sensation the second he pressed it against my clit was immense. Immediately I was moaning and tilting my head back into Ryan’s chest, the pleasure building up incredibly fast as he bit down a little harder on the skin of my neck and warned me to beg first.</p><p>“Please,” I responded instantly, really not convinced that I could hold back against this new sensation of incredible pleasure. “Please please please…”</p><p>Ryan was having to keep me still with both arms now because I was writhing so much. Hardly able to move, I settled for vocally expressing my bliss instead as Geoff stroked the small vibrator in all of the right places, using his fingers to make sure he was definitely near to or on the right spot as he watched me.</p><p>“Please,” I whimpered breathlessly again as Ryan smirked against my jawline.</p><p>“Please what?”</p><p>
  <em>God fucking dammit he was such a tease.</em>
</p><p>“Please let me come,” I whined. If he didn’t say yes in the next five seconds, I was going to regardless. The difference was whether I was punished for it or not. I met Geoff’s eyes as he moved the vibrator just a slight bit.</p><p>“Come for us, sweetheart.”</p><p>With permission from one of them at last, I mentally allowed myself to let go right as my body did anyway, my orgasm tearing through me and a guttural scream leaving my lungs. I heaved for breath and writhed as much as Ryan’s strong grip of my upper body allowed while he held me fast, murmuring in my ear.</p><p>“There’s a good girl, ride it out.”</p><p>I swore loudly, causing both of them to chuckle while I fought to regain my breath, trembling a little. Finally I relaxed as the intensity subsided, biting my lip and moaning quietly as Geoff pulled the toy away and switched it off, stroking my leg as I slumped a little.</p><p>Feeling utterly spent, I was aware of Ryan gently sitting me upright as he climbed out from behind me to clear things away while Geoff climbed tiredly into bed. Exhaustion falling over me too now, I shimmied down into bed next to him as Ryan switched out the lights and lay down on my other side. Cuddling up to Geoff as he wrapped an arm around me, Ryan settled for stroking down my side softly with his hand, the three of us unable to see one another in the sudden darkness.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Ryan asked me, wanting to know as ever how I felt after something like that.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m good,” I giggled quietly into the blackness. “You two are amazing and sexy as hell. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”</p><p>Geoff sounded as though he was smiling even though I couldn’t see his expression. “Wait until tomorrow.”</p><p>Caught off guard, I blinked. “Why, what’s tomorrow?”</p><p>From behind me, Ryan continued to stroke the skin of my side with his fingers lightly, almost tickling me. “We’ve got you to ourselves for the whole day here and I’m curious how many times we can make you orgasm before you can’t any more.”</p><p>With a slightly strangled noise, my mouth opened in shock. “Ryan!”</p><p>“It was Geoff’s idea after he got you to three before,” he whispered. “Besides, that’s what happens when you behave.”</p><p>
  <em>Holy fuck.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Breakfast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan’s got a bit of a nightmare neighbour. Your boyfriends decide it’s play time.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I may be a little addicted to writing smut involving these two teaming up on the reader. ;)<br/><b>Explicit Content Warning – from about halfway down</b></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Geoff was up early as he often was when he hadn’t gotten drunk the night before, which was thankfully pretty often now. It was a reasonable time of the morning to wake on a Sunday but I was still the last one left in bed as I slowly became aware of how I’d wound the duvet around myself subconsciously in my sleep. Feeling like a burrito wrapped in sheets and with a stupid smile on my face at the memory of last night, I freed myself and sat up, stretching my arms over my head and glancing over at my purse and bundle of clothes.</p><p>After a quick shower I dried off and walked back through to the bedroom wrapped in a fluffy blue towel, pulling out a spare grey t-shirt that I’d brought with me knowing I was staying the night along with my deodorant and a few other small toiletries. I glanced around for my lacy underwear, checking beneath my clothes and on the floor around the chair, but my bra and panties were absolutely nowhere to be found. I ran a brush through my hair with a coy roll of my eyes as I started to figure out what was up, shuffling into my jeans and t-shirt regardless and then fastening my velvet choker back around my neck.</p><p>Wondering what the pair of them were doing, I padded along the landing and down the stairs to the living room where they were lounged on the three-seater cream leather sofa at either end, Geoff reading a book with one leg crossed over the other and Ryan sitting leisurely with his legs apart watching the television whilst eating from a bowl of cereal.</p><p>“Alright, which one of you stole my underwear?” I raised an eyebrow as I folded my arms, staring them down as they both smirked up at me.</p><p>“No idea what you mean,” Geoff said lightly, turning a page of his book.</p><p>“It’s where you left it last night, right?” Ryan offered, his eyes mischievous as he clinked his spoon back into his bowl.</p><p>With a roll of my eyes because I knew exactly what the deal was, I grinned and trod carpet into the kitchen, navigating the cupboards for a suitable bowl and drawers for a spoon. Tipping up the cornflake box, I heard a beep by my feet as Ryan’s little round Roomba hoovered around my feet before tootling off again.</p><p>Pulling the milk carton out of the fridge, I poured some into the porcelain before catching sight of someone watching me from across the yard to the left, standing firmly on their own property but peering over the fence and through the kitchen window. I locked eyes with the woman, whose grey hair was fluffy and neatly-cut as she frowned at me. Slowly, without knowing what on earth else to do, I raised my hand and waved a little. She vanished.</p><p>“Ry?” I called back through to the living room as I slotted the milk back in the inside of the fridge door and strolled through with my cereal, plonking myself down between them on the sofa. “Who’s your nosy neighbour?”</p><p>“Oh, Doris Thornwell,” Ryan sighed. “She’s…a piece of work.”</p><p>“Why, does she disagree with you and your playboy party lifestyle?” Geoff sniggered.</p><p>“I don’t think she approves of me, period,” Ryan replied sheepishly, ignoring this sarcastic dig. “She invited Laurie and me round one year for Thanksgiving years ago and we accidently broke one of her super fancy plates. Now I’m divorced, shock-and-horror…she’s very religious so I’m instantly a sinner to her. She’s constantly looking over the fence to see if she can see what I’m doing. Usually I just wave.”</p><p>“Why does she care so much?” I asked, intrigued as I munched my Cheerios. “Doesn’t she have her own life to live?”</p><p>“Weeeell…I make a lot of noise sometimes when I’m building stuff in the garage,” Ryan cleared his throat, still looking sheepish. “I’m not going to say that I <em>could </em>saw the wood with my hands but using the electric saw is just so much more convenient…and maybe I leave it on a little longer than I need to sometimes just to wind her up.”</p><p>I laughed, thinking about how I was lucky to have a nice elderly neighbour across the hall from me in my block of flats and how most of my other neighbours kept themselves to themselves. I couldn’t imagine having someone as intrusive as Doris living so close to me.</p><p>“Did you decorate for Halloween for your kids?” I giggled. “Did she scream at you about summoning the devil?” I was completely kidding but Ryan raised his eyebrows at me.</p><p>“You joke, but she is kinda like that,” he replied, placing his empty cereal bowl down on his coffee table. “I carved a pumpkin with Eli and set it out front and she left a note about ‘accepting God, not Satan’ right by it.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Geoff muttered, returning to reading. “She sounds like a good time.”</p><p>Still eating and shuffling into a cross-legged position, I glanced at the book that Geoff was so engrossed in to see that it was some sort of science-fiction novel. With interest I started to ask him about it but was interrupted by the buzz of my phone ringing in my pocket, so I reached for it and picked up the call from Hanna.</p><p>“Heyyyyy, I had the <em>best </em>night, let me tell you how sweet Todd is, oh my gosh,” she gushed immediately as I giggled.</p><p>“Hi to you too,” I interrupted, elated to hear her sound so ecstatic. “Date go well, then?”</p><p>Ryan glanced over at me with a small interested smile.</p><p>“Oh my God, yes, it was amazing. He’s great! He’s into all the same music as me, we get on so well,” she continued, sounding like a girl straight out of high school but it was adorable all the same. I put her on loudspeaker. “He paid for dinner, obviously.”</p><p>“You’re on speakerphone, just a heads up. I’m with Ryan and Geoff,” I told her, grinning as they both said ‘hi’.</p><p>“Did he ask you about your job and family?” Ryan asked.</p><p>Hanna sighed happily. “Yeah, we talked for <em>ages </em>about his family and mine, though I don’t have a lot of it. I did tell him about you though, sis.”</p><p>“Oh? Good things I hope,” I replied.</p><p>“Oh totally,” she answered immediately. “He remembered you from the club.”</p><p>“How could anyone forget you in <em>that </em>tiny ‘dress’,” Ryan smirked, using air-quotes.</p><p>“What tiny dress?” Geoff asked curiously as I realised that he had never seen me in it and the only reason that Ryan had was because he’d visited me the following morning to take me to breakfast, only to find me embarrassingly passed out on my bed still dressed up from the night before. That was right before I’d proceeded to throw up into the toilet in his company. Eugh. Drinking was not fun I had found out the hard way at the age of twenty-five.</p><p>“It was one of my dresses,” Hanna explained briefly. “She looked awesome in it.”</p><p>“Silver, extremely skimpy and kinda sexy as hell,” Ryan clarified for Geoff’s benefit while he smirked at me.</p><p>I cleared my throat loudly. “So did you take Todd back to the flat?” I asked, changing the subject away from my clubbing escapades.</p><p>“He was a perfect gentleman,” Hanna giggled. “He even asked permission to kiss me. And when I offered for him to come in, he told me he didn’t expect anything.”</p><p>“Wow,” I grinned, as Geoff made a face of approval.</p><p>“And did anything happen?” Ryan inquired with a smile.  </p><p>“That’s for me to know, isn’t it?” she spoke slyly down the phone. “A girl doesn’t kiss and tell. Speaking of which, where are you right now?”</p><p>“Ryan’s place, about forty minutes away,” I replied as there was a knock on the door. Rolling his eyes for some reason, Ryan got up to answer it.</p><p>“Okay, well don’t hurry home,” Hanna said lightly, giving me the impression that she <em>had </em>taken Todd home with her and that he was in fact still there after having stayed the night.</p><p>Shaking my head because I didn’t want details on my sister’s situation even though I was happy for her, we said bye and hung up right as I heard the sound of an elderly lady’s voice echo from the hallway.</p><p>“…and now you <em>sin</em> by bringing young ladies into your home…” she droned on as Ryan leaned casually against the open door frame, his expression very mild-mannered and his hands in his jeans’ pockets as he allowed her to ramble. This kind of thing obviously happened a lot with this woman – talk about neighbour-from-hell.</p><p>I floated into the hallway as he acknowledged me with slight surprise at my choosing to get involved.</p><p>“Oh hi, it’s lovely to meet you!” I gushed, stepping forward and reaching to shake her hand before she could stop me while she fell entirely silent, her eyes roaming my face and frame as she tried to figure out what she made of me, her beady green eyes judgemental as they settled on my Slayer t-shirt. “I wasn’t sure if you saw me in the kitchen just now, I waved!”</p><p>With a disapproving sniff, she stared at me. “And just who is this?” she asked Ryan rudely, as though it were us who was standing on her doorstep.</p><p>Ignoring her tone, I gave her my most friendly smile and jumped in before he could answer her accurately. “I’m his daughter.” I heard a slight choked laughter from the next room as I glanced briefly at Ryan to see his mouth hang open at this reply. I continued, elaborating. “You might not recognise me because I live with my Mom usually, but I just came to visit. Isn’t Texas lovely at this time of year?”</p><p>Doris frowned at Ryan, whose cheeks had gone noticeably pink. “I thought you only had two very little children.”</p><p>Obviously mentally scrambling to regain his composure, he nodded. “I do, with my ex-wife Laurie. But [Y/N] is from another previous marriage<em>. Apparently</em>,” he added in a mumble that the old woman didn’t hear.</p><p>“He’s just such a family man,” I grinned smoothly, stepping towards Ryan and wrapping my arms around his middle as I felt him tense up a little awkwardly. “Aren’t you, Daddy? Can we maybe go to the movies today?” I dared to look up and meet his eyes, which were quite clearly telling me that he was going to kill me shortly.</p><p>“Well in light of this, I suppose I’m busy,” he replied. “Have a nice day, Mrs Thornwell.” And he swung the front door shut in her surprised face as I burst into mischievous giggles.</p><p>“That wasn’t very polite, Daddy…” I smirked.</p><p>“You’re dead,” Ryan said in a low voice.</p><p>I hightailed it back into the living room where Geoff was biting his fist in an effort not to laugh out loud, tears in his eyes as I sat back down beside him, my adrenaline still rushing from my daring to embarrass Ryan.</p><p>“So,” Geoff snickered as Ryan strolled through, looking fairly unimpressed with me as he crossed his arms. “Are you going to take her to the movies today or not?”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Ryan muttered, launching a couch cushion at him as the other man threw his hands up to deflect it.</p><p>Coyly, I smiled at him. “Serves you right for nicking my panties again. <em>And </em>bra this time!”</p><p>“You’re not young enough to <em>actually </em>be my daughter,” Ryan pointed out while ignoring my accusation, but he was grinning despite his protest. “There’s only a ten year age gap between us!”</p><p>Not giving up, I stuck my tongue out at him defiantly. “It’s not about the age difference.”</p><p>“I hope she doesn’t tell a bunch of my other neighbours,” Ryan groaned, settling back down beside me.</p><p>“If she tries, deny it - they’ll never believe her if she’s as batty and mean as you say,” I shrugged as he let out a resigned sigh. Startling to feel <em>slightly </em>bad, I glanced over at him, gauging his reaction in case I really did need to genuinely apologise.</p><p>With a small smile, he shook his head. “She doesn’t normally get involved with the community anyway. You’d better hope she doesn’t broadcast what she just learned.”</p><p>Naughty inspiration sparked at that moment as I watched his eyes betray the fact that he clearly wasn’t truly annoyed at me for this, making me feel okay to do what I was about to do. Swiftly, I stood up and straddled him where he sat on the sofa, resting my hands loosely on his shoulders.</p><p>“I’m <em>really </em>sorry, Daddy,” I smirked down at him as he cocked an eyebrow. From beside us, Geoff’s eyes went a little wide with evident surprise. “Really I am.”</p><p>With a chuckle, Ryan’s hands slid up to my denim-clad hips. “You’d better be.”</p><p>I leaned down and met his soft lips with my own. He definitely wasn’t actually mad at me, because he returned it tenderly. “I am.”</p><p>His blue eyes seemed to watch me for a moment as I drew away, as though he was thinking. “How many times in a row have you ever orgasmed?”</p><p>“I…uh…” I blinked at the out-of-the-blue question and glanced at Geoff, who was suddenly paying rapt attention, his book now closed. “Before the three with Geoff…two, with you. But I’ve pretty much just been running on singular ones for years.” I giggled a little sheepishly.</p><p>“When did I give you two?” Ryan tilted his head, reflecting as he ran his hands slowly along the outsides of my thighs. Then it dawned on him as he recalled the hotel room in Australia, right after we’d landed. A slow smile spread across his face at this memory of me riding him to orgasm followed by his insistence to make me come a second time.</p><p>I blushed, remembering it vividly too.</p><p>“Hm, wish I could’ve been there,” Geoff grinned as Ryan slid his hands up to my breasts now, teasing my nipples through my t-shirt with his fingers as I squirmed a bit. He feigned surprise.</p><p>“Wow, no bra?” Ryan bit his bottom lip, his eyes glinting.</p><p>“You guys hid-“ I began to protest, but Geoff had stood up and was now sliding the coffee table away from the couch. “What’re you doing?” I twisted around a little to see.</p><p>“Creating space,” he replied simply, giving Ryan a meaningful look. “Are you going to hold her still again?”</p><p>“Mhm,” he replied, pushing me gently up off of his lap and indicating I sit back down between his legs, leaning back against him again like I had on the bed last night.</p><p>My eyes widened slightly as Geoff knelt down before me, unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them down my legs as he smirked. “No panties either?”</p><p>“I couldn’t find-!” How was it that I was going to be so quickly naked in their presence again, just like that? And yet in some twisted kind of way, their choice of having me precisely when they wanted me turned me on like hell.</p><p>“Shhhhhh.” He placed my jeans aside before spreading my knees apart while Ryan lifted my shirt up and over my head, discarding that too.</p><p>“Ohh God,” I moaned as I felt his tongue slide along my pussy as he used his fingers to gain better access to my clit. Smiling devilishly, he sucked on it lightly before flicking his tongue over it, causing me to shiver whilst he alternated these techniques unpredictably. His palms were on my thighs now to keep them apart, while Ryan had taken to playing with my nipples gently with his thumbs.</p><p>“You can have your underwear back when you go home,” Ryan smiled in my ear, moving my hair aside so that my neck was exposed to his lips. “You won’t need it for a while anyway.”</p><p>I had a funny feeling that I wasn’t going to even be <em>clothed </em>for a while either so I gave in and relaxed, relieved that they’d given me time to eat breakfast first as I reached up to stroke the side of Ryan’s stubbly face affectionately while he kissed softly along my shoulder.</p><p>Geoff’s tongue was teasing me as my other hand reached for his dark hair to stroke through it while I moaned in enjoyment, feeling myself getting increasingly aroused and wet from this unexpected situation.</p><p>“Well you’re not wriggling, so that’s progress. Good girl,” Ryan murmured, his breath warm against my shoulder as his praise sent a ripple of heat through me.</p><p>The pleasure was intensifying as I struggled against doing exactly that while he held me from behind, pinching my hard nipples tantalisingly now.</p><p>“I- oh-“ I groaned, edging closer and closer to orgasm already as Ryan then took to lightly scratching up and down my bare side, going increasingly harder with each movement to coincide with my mounting pressure below. “Can I come? Please?”</p><p>“Yes,” Ryan surprised me by saying, choosing that moment to bite down on the base of my neck as Geoff brought me to a shuddering climax, his tongue still dancing as I moaned loudly and tilted my head to the side, giving up more of the skin of my neck to the slightly younger man. “And because you asked permission, this is going to continue. Get upstairs.”</p><p>Sitting back on his hunches with his lips glistening, Geoff smirked in satisfaction as I shakily slid off of the sofa to my feet, my legs walking me to the stairs before I could start to think straight again. The two men followed me upstairs as I became very aware of the fact that they were probably watching my ass the whole time.</p><p>“Lay down,” Ryan instructed as he pulled open the drawer to his nightstand and pulled out the long length of black silky rope. “On this side of the bed.”</p><p>Eager to obey, I did so, shuffling to get comfortable on the right-hand side of the mattress before lifting my hands up over my head for him to secure them one-by-one to the headboard railing. He allowed a little extra length in the rope attached to each wrist to allow me to move my arms slightly if I wanted to avoid becoming achy and so I wasn’t just stretched out, though I could by no means do much more than move them a few inches.</p><p>Geoff watched with interest I noticed, obviously learning as he watched Ryan tie the ropes in a way that would reduce strain on my wrists and not slowly cut off my blood supply, preferably. The fact that he knew how to do this skilfully didn’t seem to surprise him in the slightest, just as it hadn’t me the first time.</p><p>Their eyes were both on me again, drinking in my relatively helpless bare body as Geoff stroked my hair, kneeling on the floor beside the bed where I lay. It was lucky that the frame was relatively low to the ground with convenient storage drawers beneath it, because it meant that he could easily lean over to kiss me.</p><p>It didn’t take long for Ryan to stroke along my thighs to encourage me to open them again for him this time, to which I obliged as Geoff’s lips softly caressed mine. I moaned into the kiss as I felt Ryan slide several fingers into me as I arched a little to assist him as much as I was able, wanting as badly as him to find the right spot. A few minutes was apparently all the break my body had needed, because as soon as he rubbed my clit with his thumb and started to fuck me with most of his fingers, electricity was flowing through me again.</p><p>Geoff smirked, his touch gentle as he plucked the metal scratcher out of the drawer of the nightstand and placed it on his middle finger to use on me. He was much more tame with it, but because of this it was providing a new, more ticklish sensation which had a similar effect on me despite not being painful in any way. Tugging gently against my restraints, I groaned in pleasure as I became aware that I was definitely going to come again.</p><p>“Damn you’re fucking wet,” Ryan commented with a dirty smirk. “Does being all tied up make you hot?”</p><p>He knew the answer but I knew better than not to give it anyway. “Yes, I love it,” I whimpered truthfully before moaning again because Geoff had run the spokes of the scratcher ever-so-lightly over one of my nipples. The stimulation combined with what they were saying was pushing me helplessly close to the edge again as I couldn’t help squirming a little now.</p><p>“Ry, oh <em>shit,” </em>I cursed, remembering suddenly in my pleasured haze to be obedient. “I’m close again, oh please, please…”</p><p>Still fingering me, Ryan bit his lip and met my gaze. “You can come.”</p><p>The intense orgasm washed through me, causing me to make a series of noises crossed between a moan and a shriek. I pulled my wrists against the ropes hard, arching a little and shaking as he helped me through it by not letting up much until I finally relaxed.</p><p>“Good girl,” Geoff grinned, returning to stroking my hair, my forehead now coated in a sheen of sweat as I caught my breath exhaustedly, my breathing laboured.</p><p>Despite my tiredness I felt oddly lacking after this, so wet and yielding so much for something that wasn’t there. I needed somebody inside me, right goddamn now. I whimpered this, to which both of them smirked and exchanged glances. Immediately they had swapped places, with Geoff undressing and handing Ryan the metal scratcher toy.</p><p>“Things are about to get a little rougher,” Ryan told me with his familiar, firm domineering tone that excited me so much. “Geoff might have tickled you with this, but I’m here now. I’m not going so easy on you.”</p><p>And while the tattooed man lifted my legs and pushed a pillow under my ass to raise my hips, he eased into me right as Ryan raked the metal down my abdomen, causing me to scream.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Endurance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan’s got a bit of a nightmare neighbour. The continuation of Sunday play time with Geoff and Ryan, followed by aftercare fluff. Then things take a dark turn.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning – until about halfway down</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Aww, does that hurt?” Ryan taunted with a dark chuckle, knowing full-well that it did but in the best way.</p><p>My eyes were closed, my mouth open as the pleasure of Geoff thrusting into me conflicted with the white hot pain of being harshly scratched by metal over and over, pushing me almost to my limit as I groaned in ecstasy. But then he suddenly paused and my eyes flashed open to look at him in brief exhilaration because I’d become conditioned now to answer his questions or be punished.</p><p>“Yes, but don’t stop,” I panted at him because I knew by now that he liked it when I responded vocally, as I twisted my wrists against their bounds. My entire body had a sheen of sweat on it from my exertion which was making it sting even more when he ran the sharp metal toy over my skin.</p><p>His mouth curling into a smirk, he dragged it across my neck as I gasped, whimpering a little as Geoff grinned at my reactions, still pounding me relentlessly.</p><p>“Mmm, who’s our little pain whore?” Ryan murmured near my ear, scratching heavily across my breast and down near to my belly button. It was a <em>really </em>good thing that we weren’t in my flat right now because my neighbours would have knocked my door through thinking I was being murdered.</p><p>“Me,” I moaned submissively, writhing very slightly with each new scratch and with a loud noise to accompany it too. My eyes were closed again, my body unable to help itself as it responded so readily to everything happening to it. The sound of buzzing met my ears abruptly as Ryan held the small new purple pebble vibrator to my pussy, immediately causing me to buck to counter the sudden rush of electric pleasure that was just <em>too much. </em></p><p>I bucked again violently to get away from it, causing Ryan to laugh a little and settle it near to but not actually <em>on </em>my over-sensitive clit as it sent its strong tingly vibrations across to it anyway, eliciting a series of whimpers from me. He was still actively scratching up my abdomen, briefly and temporarily distracting my mind from the vibrations with every drag of the metal.</p><p>“Ry, I’m so sensitive, don’t- OH!” He was moving the vibrator around and over my acutely sensitive spot playfully, sexually torturing me as I squirmed and shrieked a little.</p><p>Smiling as he watched me, he finally decided to be merciful as he moved it away again, causing me to relax very slightly as the stimulation became much more gentle and pleasant.</p><p>“Alright, shhhh,” he soothed, watching relief cross my face.</p><p>“I think she likes that,” Geoff groaned. “She just got a lot tighter.”</p><p>I hadn’t been aware that I’d clenched around him but fast realised I couldn’t control this at all as I let out a moan of agonised pleasure because Ryan had leaned down to nibble on my nearest nipple lightly now as a new way to tease me.</p><p>“Come for us again, slut,” Ryan ordered me softly, moving the buzzing toy back to stroking at my clit as it finally re-accustomed to its new assault. “Or when I fuck you next, it’ll be in your ass.”</p><p>Never before had I ever done anal but I’d always been cautiously willing to try it, with a wondering as to what it would feel like. I’d never had a way to explore this curiosity but the abrupt threat of the subject in this way tipped me over into my third orgasm, more intense than the last by a long shot and the pleasure coming less in waves and more like zaps as my whole body tensed up. I screamed my way through it, completely unable to stop myself.</p><p>With a smug smirk, Ryan raised an eyebrow at me as he withdrew the pebble toy. “Oh, did you like that idea?”</p><p>I whimpered, still not fully relaxing as Geoff continued to fuck me, gripping my thighs as he filled me with a moan of my name within the next minute.</p><p>“I’m…open to it,” I admitted truthfully as I eyed up how gorgeous Geoff looked currently, his heavily tattooed skin shiny with sweat the same way I was and his eyes closed from the pleasure of having just reached his release. He pulled out of me before gazing at me with obvious devotion in his eyes.</p><p>“I’ll remember that for next time because it requires some prep-work,” Ryan smirked whilst handing the vibrator to Geoff and swapping places with him, Geoff laying down to my left. I assumed that this was probably because he was left-handed, giving him more control over the little buzzing toy. “I don’t wanna hurt you by accident because you’ll be really fucking tight.”</p><p>Tiredly I smiled at his care for me as he too stripped and pushed my legs up yet again, my eyes on his hard dick as he entered easily into me with desire rampant on his face.</p><p>“I’m not kidding, I really don’t think I can go for four,” I mumbled, my energy having dissipated even though my body was yet again perking up involuntarily to the pleasure of being fucked as Ryan thrusted, not bothering to go slow at all because I didn’t need him to.</p><p>“You can,” Geoff replied gently, leaning on his forearm and reaching over to press the toy close to my clit again as I whined because that oversensitive feeling was worse now.</p><p>“I can’t,” I breathed heavily, arching anyway as the familiar heat slowly returned. If he moved that thing further up I was going to be forced to scream the safe word purely from being so insanely over stimulated in that area.</p><p>“You will,” Ryan added more firmly before groaning at his own pleasure as he plunged deep, presumably because I’d tightened up again.</p><p>The more I had orgasmed, the more intense it had become during both the build-up and release and it had now reached the point where I didn’t know how to handle the fourth as the pressure inevitably climbed once more, though slower this time.</p><p>“Breathe,” Geoff coaxed, not being quite so cruel with the vibrator and keeping it a little lower down. “There’s a good girl.”</p><p>I gasped for air between panting, the reminder actually needed as I drew breath, my fatigued body somehow enduring the sex and bliss. If I’d been asked what year I was born at that moment, I wasn’t sure I could have responded accurately.</p><p>“I can’t,” I whined, even though I knew I’d have no choice. My body began to tremble uncontrollably.</p><p>“Yes you can, don’t be scared,” Geoff spoke quietly, understanding my strange reluctance from last time after our shower session because of how physically intense the feeling had gotten. “It’s gonna be so good for you, I promise.”</p><p>Ryan’s nails were digging into the skin of my thighs as he thrusted, breathless and groaning. “Turn it…up on her…”</p><p>Geoff found the appropriate button on the vibrator which I hadn’t known existed and suddenly, I was catapulting towards my release far faster with the increased ferocity of the toy.</p><p>Whimpering, writhing and pulling against the black silky ropes that tied my hands to the headboard, I began to lose my mind a little. It was all so good, <em>too good. </em>These two men were <em>owning me.</em> I was theirs. After this, I would quite happily do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Literally anything.</p><p>“Geoff, I- can I- oh <em>fuck,” </em>I cursed loudly, actually shaking.</p><p>“Come for us,” he replied softly, knowing what I was trying to ask.</p><p>It nearly tore me apart, a guttural scream issuing from me as the orgasm shot through me like an all-consuming pleasurable electric shock, rendering me totally helpless as I was vaguely aware of Ryan coming inside of me too with a groan.</p><p>“Gooood girl,” Geoff purred as the other man left me, my body <em>finally </em>able to fully relax while I heaved for breath, staring at the ceiling in a fog of residing pleasure as exhaustion took over fast. As my brain powered back on properly, I became aware of how burning hot and thirsty I was now after that ordeal.</p><p>“I- I-“ I whimpered softly and stupidly as Ryan slid his boxer briefs back on before reaching to untie my wrists.</p><p>“Don’t move your arms back down too quickly, you might get cramp after pulling so hard and being in that position for a while,” he warned as the rope fell away from my hands and he stroked my hair briefly, affectionately. “I’ll be right back.” He smiled gently before I heard him pad down the stairs.</p><p>If the house had been on fire at that moment I wasn’t sure I’d have the strength to move, so I lay there as Geoff put his underwear back on too while I slowly inched my arms carefully down to my sides. They were a little achy but otherwise okay.</p><p>I watched Geoff leave the room too and walk across to the bathroom. A minute later, he returned with a cold, wet washcloth and pressed it to my forehead, cooling me off before I took hold of it and pressed it against my neck in turn.</p><p>“You did so good,” he murmured. “I could tell how much hard work that was for you, sweetheart.”</p><p>I smiled a little at the kinky praise, vastly appreciating his consideration of how I was feeling as my heart swelled for him. Ryan returned a few minutes later with a bottle of refreshingly cold water from the fridge and handed it to me, earning himself an adoring look from me.</p><p>“Drink.”</p><p>Gratefully and because I was feeling dehydrated, I sat up and took several huge swigs as he watched me, satisfied that I was alright. With a slow smile, I wiped my mouth and lowered the bottle, looking from one of them to the other as they both gazed intently back.</p><p>I dabbed the damp washcloth on my shoulders before I realised something. My black velvet choker was, slightly disgustingly, wet through from my perspiration. “I think this is ruined.”</p><p>“Aw, guess we’ll have to get you a new one,” Ryan smiled as I screwed the cap back on my bottle and put it aside in order to shuffle over and cuddle up to him where he was sitting opposite me. I was so comfortable being naked around them that I didn’t even care that I still was, save for being slightly shivery now. He wrapped his arms around me firmly and kissed the top of my head affectionately.</p><p>“Keep it subtle though,” I grinned, already seeing Geoff’s mischievous grin and figuring that they were going to buy a collar and not a choker. “Don’t buy me one that says ‘SLUT’ on it or something. I can’t wear that to work. Or in public. And I do want to wear it most of the time.”</p><p>Laughing, Geoff shook his head. “It’ll be plain, I promise. Understated even, like the one you have now.”</p><p>“Good,” I mumbled into Ryan’s chest as he held me close.</p><p>“We didn’t…push you too far, right?” he asked, his voice laced with concern and his warm arms and hands comforting against my now-shivery frame. “You’re shaking.”</p><p>“I’m okay,” I smiled as Geoff pulled back the duvet. Without another thought, I was crawling into bed despite the fact that it was nearly midday. “Just a little cold now all of a sudden. And really, really tired.”</p><p>Upon seeing this, Ryan grinned. “A nap couldn’t hurt, right?” He slid in beside me, pulling me close again in an almost protective fashion while he wrapped the duvet over us. “You kinda deserve it after that workout.”</p><p>I made a small noise of contentment as Geoff lay down beside me too, taking my hand and stroking over my knuckles with his thumb delicately while I lay facing him, Ryan snuggled up behind me.</p><p>“I love you guys,” I murmured, meaning it with all of my being.</p><p>“Love you too,” they replied, almost in unison.</p><p>***</p><p>For a change, I awoke first. I’d slept solidly for about an hour, my eyes fluttering open to see that Geoff was still snoozing. None of us had moved I realised, as I stroked down Ryan’s lightly hairy forearm that was draped over my middle, my mind falling deep into thought as my eyelids drooped again. I wanted to stay here forever: warm, relaxed and deeply satisfied.</p><p>There was just one teensy problem: I was starving.</p><p>I shuffled to attempt to climb out of bed without disturbing either of the two men beside me but it was impossible; even my moving the duvet off of myself dragged it off of the two of them too, rousing them.</p><p>“Where’re you going?” Geoff mumbled.</p><p>“I’m hungry,” I replied, still making my move to escape.</p><p>“Food sounds good,” Ryan muttered, reaching for my arm as I made to sit up. “In a minute.”</p><p>I smiled fondly at the two of them as Ryan’s fingers locked around my arm gently, wondering how to bribe them to get up so we could get lunch. The idea came easily. “I’m getting in the shower. First one up can join me.” As soon as I said it, I got to my feet amongst the sheets, stepping along the duvet between them as Ryan lazily made to grab my ankle but missed.</p><p>“Alright I’m up,” Geoff groaned, heaving himself upright as Ryan slid sideways out of bed, only saving himself from just falling at the very last second as he found his balance. They both pierced me with a tired stare as if to ask me who had won.</p><p>I giggled. “Yeah, you two can fight amongst yourselves on that one,” I told them as they glanced at one another. I left the room in the wake of a small amount of scuffling happening as I swung open the bathroom door across the hall.</p><p>Neither one of them appearing by my side would have particularly surprised me but a couple of seconds later and Geoff dashed through the doorway, triumphantly grinning whilst being glared at by Ryan who was right behind him.</p><p>“Fuck,” the fairer-haired man cursed. “Well…have a nice shower, I’ll jump in after, I guess.”</p><p>Tilting my head to the side, I glanced between them. “Wait, why don’t you just get in with us?” His shower head was attached to the wall over the oblong bathtub with a glass screen around it, meaning there would easily be enough room for the three of us.</p><p>The two men looked at each other and then looked away, awkwardly.</p><p>“Nah.”</p><p>“Too intimate.”</p><p>My jaw dropped, my expression incredulous. “You two literally share me during sex and suddenly showering in the same vicinity is not something you’ll do?”</p><p>“We don’t pay very much attention to <em>each other</em> during that, though,” Ryan grinned. “We’re more focused on ourselves and you. I’m not standing in a shower with Geoff.”</p><p>“Yeah, same sentiment buddy,” Geoff shook his head.</p><p>“Unbelievable,” I laughed, but I supposed I understood, in a way. “By the way, can I have my underwear back? Pretty please?”</p><p>“I suppose,” Ryan smirked. “It’s in the top left drawer in the dresser in the bedroom.”</p><p>“Don’t move it again before I get out,” I warned him, already nakedly climbing into the tub and twisting the shower knob.</p><p>“I won’t,” he replied lightly, walking off as Geoff followed me into the flow of warm water after removing his boxer briefs.</p><p>The shower was cleansing me of the dirtiness of the morning and while I hadn’t yet left any of my own shampoo here for when I stayed, I had no problem using Ryan’s coconut shampoo that always smelled so good. As I lathered, I felt Geoff sensually rub shower gel on my shoulders before trailing his palms down to my breasts and then abdomen, though he carefully avoided my tattoo. With a smile, I rinsed my hair out and then returned the favour, spreading my hands all over his upper body while he stood before me.</p><p>“I really care about you,” he told me diffidently, clearing his throat as I smiled up at him. “I haven’t felt this fuckin’ vulnerable in love since…since Griffon.”</p><p>I reached up to stroke his short-bearded face as my chest ached for him. “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>He paused while he drew me close, the hot water running down our bodies simultaneously. “Please don’t. I don’t think my heart could take it.”</p><p>***</p><p>It was an obscene amount of donuts, if I was honest. And yet as Ryan started on his third pink-iced ring treat, it took him a little time to notice Geoff and I staring at him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“How have you just eaten six kolaches a little way down the street and are now following it up with your <em>third </em>donut?” I asked, astounded as I stirred sugar into my latte. “Actually no, my question isn’t ‘how have you done it’. It’s how have you lost weight over the years eating like this?”</p><p>“Hey, I don’t eat like this all the time, okay?” he defended himself with a smile. “I was hungry!”</p><p>“Sure but where are you putting it?” I grinned as he shrugged. I was purely surprised and not really meaning to food-shame him, but I couldn’t help wondering if he must run every day or something without any of us knowing to support his sweet tooth habit.</p><p>“Still not as bad as Matt Bragg,” Geoff shrugged, taking a drink of his black coffee. “I once saw him eat a giant cookie for fuckin’ lunch in the office. Just a cookie. He cut it and ate it like a pizza.”</p><p>“You’re lucky you’re not a fan of sweets,” Ryan mumbled with a smirk, licking his fingers before taking a sip of his cold sweet tea. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”</p><p>Grinning, I munched my own chocolate donut. “It really is.”</p><p>“Y’know they say that sugar addiction is a serious thing,” Geoff pointed out with sincerity. “It’s up there with drugs and alcohol.”</p><p>“Jesus, really?” I gawped. “No wonder I can never resist. And Ryan…you could just pay him in cookies and he’d work for you forever.”</p><p>“Probably,” Ryan shrugged again in agreement as he eyed up the donut in his hand before taking another sizeable bite. “Mmmmm.”</p><p>“You’re such a dork,” I giggled as his blue eyes glinted good-naturedly at me from across our small round table.</p><p>Checking his phone, Geoff sighed. “I’m being chased about something, gimme a minute. I need to call them back.” He got up, tapping his cell’s screen as he dialled and stepped outside of the small café for a few minutes.</p><p>Taking an opportunity, I stood up. “I’m going to pee,” I informed Ryan and made my way to the bathrooms while he made a small ‘mhm’ noise of acknowledgement. They were through a main door and separated by two side doors at the end of a short corridor.</p><p>On my way out I noticed that strangely, the fire exit door between the two restrooms was wide open now, its doorway leading out into the back alley and road behind the café. Walking past it and fully intending to order another two donuts to try to outdo Ryan for a laugh, my mind was in the clouds.</p><p>A sudden unwelcome arm around my waist. I was dragged backwards and out through the exit as I felt a rough hand cover my mouth and nose. My terrified first instinct was to fight so I kicked out, achieving a mumbled ‘ow’ from my attacker as he held me fast, locking my arms behind my back. The next thing I knew, my wrists were being fastened with zip-ties, the clicking of the plastic ringing out as he drew them far tighter than was comfortable all the while still dragging me along backwards while I fought and screamed.</p><p>My shouts were muffled by his hand and I was beginning to struggle to breathe because he was blocking my airway.</p><p>We were heading for a van parked in the alley.</p><p>No, no, <em>no no no no NO.</em></p><p>What the <em>fuck</em>.</p><p>My mind was racing, my body in fully-fledged panic mode. The hand over my mouth and nose disappeared but was replaced by a wad of sharp-smelling material right as I took an intake of breath to scream for help.</p><p>The world went dark.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Kidnapped</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. He really wants you to talk.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Minor torture warning in first-person</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Nausea. Shivering. The sound of metal crashing down on concrete. Where was I?</p><p>Memories quickly returned as my head pounded horribly, aiding the feeling that was making me want to vomit. My vision was blurry but began to come gradually into focus, my body upright but unable to move. I couldn’t tell what time of day it was because we were inside, the walls corrugated metal and the light overhead a headache-inducing florescent white. It was cold though, <em>so cold</em>. Goosebumps were present on my bare skin as my t-shirt did very little to shield me from the December air.</p><p>A voice I recognised from behind me, footsteps echoing on the stone floor as he stepped into my vision from my right. He was far more muscular than when I’d last seen him years ago but he still had the same cold, intense stare that had always made me feel slightly uncomfortable in his presence. Of course, since Hanna had explained what he was truly like as a human being, that now made perfect sense.</p><p>He was wearing a white t-shirt stretched over his powerful frame and his eyes were a dark brown to match his hair, easily giving the impression that he was attractive. His smile was charming, manipulative and with no feeling behind it but it was easy to see how you could be forgiven for falling for it if you didn’t know better. With him and Hanna living way up north of Texas together and that being where they met too, I’d only ever seen him once before in person and I didn’t remember him being this intimidating, though he’d always been tall.</p><p>“Ah, my future sister-in-law!” he beamed, unscrewing a bottle of water. “Sorry about the way in which we’ve met, but I had to get you on your own to ask you something very important.”</p><p>He was well-spoken and articulate but he didn’t remember ever meeting me before. And now he was offering the water to my lips. Instead, I turned my head away in resistance and attempted to move but my arms were strapped tight behind me to the wooden chair I was seated in.</p><p>“More for me, I suppose,” he shrugged, taking a long drink of the water I wished I had accepted before screwing the cap back on. “Thought you must be thirsty.”</p><p>I screamed for help but he just stared at me as though I was crazy, which I thought was fucking rich, for him.</p><p>“Nobody can hear you, babe. And don’t think about kicking me again.”</p><p>“What the fuck is this, Dave?” I growled, internally assessing myself. I didn’t feel injured, though my head hurt like hell from being knocked out with whatever he’d forced me to breathe in.</p><p>“I sat outside your mother’s house for a week,” he smiled, placing the bottle of water down on the table in the corner, out of my eyeline unless I twisted my neck around a little. “But my lovely fiancée wasn’t there - that was obvious. I thought she’d go there for sure.”</p><p>The hairs on the back of my neck stood up in a mixture of disgust and fear.</p><p>“Then it occurred to me! She has a <em>sister. </em>She’s mentioned you a fair few times over the years. It seemed like you two were close.<em>” </em>Dave leaned back against the wall of what seemed at this point to be a large personal storage unit, the corrugated metal door in front of me firmly pulled down to the floor. “And low and behold, you’re a little bit internet-famous, aren’t you?”</p><p>The nausea was getting worse. I took several deep breaths to try to force myself not to throw up as he watched me.</p><p>“So finding out where you worked was very simple,” he continued with his monologue as I looked at him more than a little reproachfully. “Those six men you work with seem close to you – what are you all called…’Achievement Hunters’? Your boss has a <em>very </em>nice car, not one I could forget when I saw him climb into it at the Rooster Teeth Studios on Friday evening, but I still jotted down the license plate anyway because I figured; what are the odds of catching you with him at some point? And low and behold, I saw that same car outside of that pizza place and you walking out with him and some other guy last night. The tattooed guy, your boss; I knew you must spend <em>some </em>time with him outside of work, maybe for a work meeting? Maybe because you’re friends? Or maybe more?”</p><p>I really wanted to throw up. He’d clearly watched our videos to figure out who I worked with and where since he knew Geoff’s position. Geoff hadn’t given me a lift home on Friday evening, Ryan had. Dave hadn’t taken note of his car, probably since it wasn’t nearly as fancy and was really just a get-from-point-A-to-point-B kind of vehicle. If he had or if I’d walked home, he would have found Hanna for sure.</p><p>“And then I saw you climb into Geoff Ramsey’s sexy Audi with him when you left the restaurant last night, so I followed you. I wondered if he was taking you home, which made me wonder if Hanna might be there waiting. I didn’t expect that other guy you were with to go home with you both too, <em>that</em> was interesting.”</p><p>Upon hearing his name issued from the lips of such an abusive douchebag, I flinched a little, my skin crawling. He’d been stalking us.</p><p>“What did you do, sleep in your car?” I asked, disturbed by the thought of him being parked up outside the whole of Saturday evening and most of Sunday.</p><p>He laughed, but it was bitter and with no humour behind it. “No, what do you take me for? I drove to a nearby motel and stayed the night there instead. That was a nice house though, they must pay you good money for being a Youtube personality.”</p><p>My wrists were incredibly sore from the zip-ties but I shuffled them a little anyway, wondering if I could possibly distort my hands enough to squirm out of them slowly while they were out of his eyeline. How had he tailed me from the pizza restaurant and have totally missed Hanna being there with Todd too? She had clearly gotten extremely lucky.</p><p>“I saw that man I can’t remember the name of answer the front door this morning to an old lady,” Dave told me. “Then I saw you appear and put your arms around him. Hm…Jack, was it? Or maybe Ryan? I don’t remember, I only watched a couple of videos of you lot. I just can’t figure out why you both went home with your boss, but whatever. I don’t really care.”</p><p>My stomach expelled the contents of whatever had been in it onto the floor beside me. I retched, hating that it made me feel even more vulnerable than I already did as it intensified my aching head to an unbearable level. I gasped for air as I felt Dave press a tissue to my lips to clean them gently.</p><p>“Get off me,” I snapped, wishing I could actively move away from him.</p><p>“Don’t be so ungrateful,” he said softly, before slapping me harshly around the face. “I’m only trying to help you feel better.”</p><p>Seeing dots from the shock and pain, I cursed under my breath as he carried on talking, pacing a little in front of me as my cheek burned.</p><p>“Then the three of you all went on a lovely afternoon visit to that café and had donuts,” he concluded, stepping nearer to me and squatting down in front of me. “Now, I didn’t see Hanna that entire time, but I <em>know </em>that you’re the only other family she’s got and I think you know where she is.”</p><p>He was making a lot of assumptions and they were mostly to my advantage. He didn’t seem to know where I actually lived, thinking that Ryan’s house was my own. If he’d flown out here and begun to stalk me any sooner, he would have followed me back to my flat where Hanna was very much currently living.</p><p>“So, where is she?” His eyes were boring into me as he waited for my reply.</p><p>“You’re a sociopath,” I told him straight.</p><p>“Aw, I wouldn’t say that,” he smiled. “I love Hanna after all. I just don’t know where she is.” He laughed a little again, as though this were funny. And if he hadn’t been so goddamn insane, it might have been. “<em>Where</em> is she?” he repeated.</p><p>I shook my head, my actions and words showing me to be far braver than I truly felt at that moment. “I don’t know where she is. You’re wrong, she didn’t ‘come running’ to me. As far as I knew, you were both still engaged and happy.”</p><p>Dave seemed to think this over, assessing me as though deciding whether he believed me. “We are still engaged. I don’t know why she would run away from me.” His voice was oddly light, as though he was trying to sound convincingly innocent. “I was worried sick, you know. She changed her phone number, disappeared with all her things…I’m worried about her safety, [Y/N]. Tell me she’s safe at least?”</p><p>“I don’t know where she is,” I repeated, relieved that he hadn’t seen her in my presence. He was pacing a little now, irritated by my defiance. “Let me goddamn go.”</p><p>“I can’t do that, now can I?” he replied irritably, grabbing a handful of my hair and tugging my head painfully backwards as he looked down at me into my eyes. “Tell me where she is, or you’re going to regret not talking when you had the chance.”</p><p>Fear nearly choked me. “Why do you think I know?” I gasped as my scalp ached.</p><p>“You’re the only other family she has,” he reiterated. “It was her mother or you. And I know she’s not at her mother’s.”</p><p>“Look, I’m not a part of your pre-marital issues, okay?” I stated as he released my hair. “I don’t know what the hell happened between you two but I haven’t seen her in years.”</p><p>His hand was suddenly going somewhere I didn’t like down near my thigh, but all he did was slide my phone out of my jeans’ pocket.</p><p>“Call her.”</p><p>“What?” I stared at him and then at my phone, which he was holding up in front of me.</p><p>“Call her new number. I know she would have told you it,” he replied, holding the smart phone behind me and forcing my thumb to unlock it with Touch ID, swapping to my other thumb when that failed. My phone unlocked.</p><p>He scrolled through the phonebook, finally settling on ‘Han’ with a heart next to her name. He tapped it and put it on speakerphone, the dialling tone echoing around the room as he held it close to my mouth. “Act natural. Ask her where she is. If you say anything else or hint that I’m here, things are going to get ugly.”</p><p>My heart thudded as she picked up. I was hoping she wouldn’t pick up.</p><p>“Hey! Oh my God, where are you?” she asked, her voice strangely high-pitched and a little broken. “The cops called me and told me you went missing this afternoon! They asked for a bunch of your details!”</p><p>Smugly, I glanced at Dave. I expected him to be worried, but instead he was just staring at me coldly. Then he mouthed the words, <em>‘Ask her.’</em></p><p>I didn’t want to do it, because I knew she’d be honest. But I didn’t have a choice. “Where are you right now, Han?”</p><p>“Me? Where am I? Where are <em>you?” </em>she retorted, causing Dave to roll his eyes in obvious frustration.</p><p><em>‘Ask her again,’ </em>he mouthed.</p><p>“Yeah,” I answered, keeping my voice as level as I could. “Where are you?”</p><p>“I’m at your flat, tearing my hair out! The cops are out looking for you because of how suddenly you vanished!” she replied. “Wait…did someone take you? Are they there right n-“</p><p>Dave tapped the ‘end call’ button on the screen and switched off my phone, dropping it on to the table in the corner near the water. “So, that wasn’t your house. You live with Hanna at your <em>flat. </em>Lying bitch.” Something silver glinted in the corner of my eye and then sharp cold steel was pressing against my neck.</p><p>“You can’t kill me,” I whimpered a little, completely losing whatever bottle I’d had now because he actually had a weapon. “You still don’t know where that is.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” he soothed, smiling twistedly as he stood behind me, pulling my head back by my hair again to completely expose my jugular. “Just tell me where you live and I won’t hurt you.”</p><p>I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to die. I felt weak and still pretty sick, my heart thudding all the same as my adrenaline flowed. I wriggled my wrists some more, trying not to wince at how raw they were.</p><p>“Don’t make me hurt you, come on,” he prompted me firmly, pressing the blade of the sizable kitchen knife a little harder.</p><p>I wondered what he would do if I didn’t answer him. He wouldn’t find her without me. Did he really want to go down for murder? Then he definitely wouldn’t find her.</p><p>Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. “She doesn’t love you. She doesn’t want to be with you or even <em>near </em>you.” My voice was shaky but I meant every word. “You hurt her, she’s got scars because of you. You deserve to rot in jail for that <em>and</em> for this.”</p><p>“She <em>made</em> me hurt her, I didn’t want to do it,” Dave replied, his voice spiking with anger. “I don’t want to hurt you either. Just tell me where she is so I can make it up to her. I fucking <em>love</em> her!”</p><p>I opened my eyes again because he’d let go of my hair, pulled the knife away and was pacing again, this time behind me. He was losing his control over the situation because if he slit my throat, he’d be nailed to the wall for murder and would lose all chance of getting Hanna back in more ways than one.</p><p>“Let me go. No good is going to come from keeping me here, the police are out looking for me right now,” I replied. “You heard what she said on the phone. You took me in broad daylight and that café has cameras.”</p><p>“Shut up,” he snapped and I felt a sharp pain against the side of my cheek as the blade cut through my skin there, causing a shriek from me. Warm and wet trickled down to my jawline, dripping slowly from my chin. “Just <em>tell me </em>where she fucking is and I’ll let you go.” More slices, along my bare upper arm as blood trickled from them, slow and deliberate as though I might talk any second to make him stop.</p><p>Wincing in pain each time, I screamed and felt the tears begin to run, blurring my vision. But I wouldn’t give her up.</p><p>“You’re as much of a stubborn bitch as Hanna is,” he gritted his teeth, finally stopping for a moment. “She always has been. If I can’t have her, I might as well go to jail. You’re breaking my fucking heart here, babe. I need her.”</p><p>What was I supposed to do? Talk him into being a better person so he would let me go and could try to win her back?</p><p>“You’re already going to jail,” I told him as firmly as I was able to in my current state as my arm ached and dripped blood slowly onto the stone floor. “You’re committing a crime right now by holding me here and now you’re cutting me too.”</p><p>“Think about talking, okay?” he told me, his tone dangerous. “Then I won’t need to hold you here or cut you.”</p><p>A crash of corrugated metal against concrete rang out from outside that sounded like someone else accessing their storage unit. Dave jumped slightly but I saw my opportunity.</p><p>“HELP!” I screeched, praying that someone would hear me. Anyone. Unbeknownst to me in that second, Austin Police Department already had the unit surrounded.</p><p>
  <em>“That one, number 409!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“APD! David Teller, step away from the hostage!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“APD, we just want to talk to you!” </em>
</p><p>Finally; something had shaken him up. His once cold stare had turned to fear as he realised that time was short and his was very nearly up. He glanced at me and for a second fright struck me because I wondered what he might stupidly do in his terror.</p><p>And then he stupidly did something.</p><p>“Don’t fucking move, any of you!” he yelled back through the shutter, back to holding the knife to my throat. “I’ll cut her unless you let me go!”</p><p><em>“David, we just want to talk to you, do not hurt the hostage,” </em>replied a male voice with an air of authority and firmness. <em>“My name is Sergeant Lockton. Let’s talk about your options.”</em></p><p>“I don’t have any, do I?” David responded, his voice betraying his panic now.</p><p><em>“You absolutely do,” Sergeant Lockton told him calmly. “You will most likely do time for this, don’t get me wrong, son. But if you kill that innocent young woman, you </em>will<em> do life. Just come on out.” </em></p><p>My heart was thudding. My life was in the hands of this cop and I could only trust that he knew what he was doing.</p><p>“Her sister, I fucking love her sister,” Dave cried, still pressing the blade firmly to my jugular. “That’s all I want, to be with her again.”</p><p>
  <em>“Well, come on out with your hands up and we can talk about that. Her name’s Hanna, right? Your fiancée?”</em>
</p><p>I made a small noise of pain because the blade was pressing so hard it was digging in and I was fairly sure it was cutting into my neck at this point. He was so preoccupied by the police outside however that he didn’t notice this and I didn’t dare make another sound in case he suddenly decided to just go for broke and kill me.</p><p>“Yes,” he replied, sighing a little as though in relief. The sergeant was trying to level with him, trying to persuade him that things weren’t all bad and could be worse, trying to make him <em>not end my life.</em></p><p><em>“Hanna wouldn’t want you to be a murderer, I’m quite sure,” </em>he said coolly. <em>“Especially not for killing her only sibling. Out you come, son.”</em></p><p>Man this guy was smooth. Slowly, very slowly, Dave dropped the knife and opened the shutter upwards, the dark silhouettes of six police officers surrounding the entrance all holding weapons greeting the pair of us as the daylight half-blinded me.</p><p>They motioned him over to the nearest officer by gunpoint and she handcuffed him immediately, dragging his raised hands behind his back as she reeled off the arrest speech.</p><p>Another officer ran in to free me once my abductor was being bundled off towards their police vehicle, still pathetically shouting about his love for Hanna and how he never wanted to actually hurt anyone.</p><p>“We need medical attention over here!” the officer called out upon seeing my wrists and cheek as a medic jogged in to assess me. She eyed the vomit on the floor briefly before placing her medical bag down on the floor and unzipping it to pull out bandages and antiseptic before putting a small soft clip on the end of my finger to observe my oxygen levels.</p><p>“Hi [Y/N], I’m Jenny. You’re lucky that you’re not going to need stitches on your face, honey,” she said gently as she cleaned my cheek and made it sting like hell. “It’s not that deep. These are though, on your arm.” She had wiped the blood from them to see them better and was now applying the same anti-septic fluid to them, which hurt even more.</p><p>“How did you know I was here?” I gasped, confused and bewildered as she draped a blanket around my shoulders after dressing my wounds.</p><p>The voice of Sergeant Lockton from through the shutter belonged to an average-height man with white hair, a kind smile on his face as he gazed at me through his square glasses. “Your…shall-we-say partners knew where you were because they followed your kidnapper here. Apparently one of them heard you shouting for help right as you were taken.”</p><p><em>Geoff! </em>He had been standing outside on the phone - he must have heard my struggling.</p><p>The next few minutes were a blur of me telling them my information as they assessed my mental state as well as physical; my full name, date of birth, address, everything. I pointed out my phone across on the table and photos were taken of the scenario with their own camera, most notably the bindings and the chair.</p><p>“Can I see them?” I asked weakly. “I want to see them both, please, the two men that told you I was here.”</p><p>“Let’s get you to the hospital for now, shall we?” the medic said as she patted my shaky hand. “You still need to get checked out. Did your kidnapper hurt you in any other way that we can’t see?”</p><p>I shook my head. “No, just my cheek. Please let me see them, I need them. Right now.”</p><p>With a gentle smile, another second officer stepped forward and helped me to my feet, her dark eyes sympathetic. “Of course, they’re right outside. But then you’ll need to go with us to the hospital and we’ll have to ask you some questions, okay?”</p><p>“Can they come with me?” I asked, wobbly on my feet as we walked slowly out of the unit as I put a hand to my face where the medic had put a small bandage on my cheek to hold me until I got to the emergency room.</p><p>“Of course they can,” she replied, supporting me as I was helped past the other police and over to another of their vehicles. “They’re your heroes, if you ask me. If they hadn’t followed you here, it would have taken us much longer to trace you.”</p><p>“You would have found me though, right?” I asked. Worryingly, she didn’t reply as we approached what I recognised to be Ryan’s car, along with more cop cars.</p><p>I was nearly knocked flat by Geoff, who threw himself at me and cradled me against himself so tightly I thought I might burst. I squeezed him back with what little strength I had, breathing in his warm, comforting scent as I softly sobbed, finally giving in to my emotions. I felt another pair of arms wrap around me from behind as Ryan joined us, the both of them enveloping me in their protective embraces, the blanket still around my shoulders as I shivered in shock and cold.</p><p>“When you didn’t come back, I…I went to find you,” Ryan stammered a little, sounding uncharacteristically choked up. “Then Geoff shouted me across the café. He heard you get taken and the sound of a van door sliding shut and my car was nearest, so when that van passed us we followed it. I called the cops on the way.”</p><p>“How did you know that was me?” I mumbled from between them as they let up a little to allow me to breathe.</p><p>“Because you weren’t anywhere to be found,” Ryan replied softly. “I opened the ladies’ restroom door and shouted to you but you didn’t answer. The fire exit door was wide open and then I heard Geoff yelling that he’d just seen you get dragged off.”</p><p>“You frightened me to fuckin’ death,” Geoff whispered, his voice cracking as he stroked my hair and squeezed me again. “We wanted to follow him ourselves when we saw him carrying you, but then the cops pulled up. They wanted to negotiate with him for your safety. They wouldn’t let us near where we knew you were.”</p><p>“It’s a good thing there’s so many cops around, because I’d kill him,” Ryan murmured in a tone that convinced me completely that he wasn’t remotely just saying that. “I’d fucking kill him in cold blood and watch him bleed.”</p><p>I turned around between them to wrap my arms around Ryan now instead. “I don’t feel so good, Rye-bread.”</p><p>“You need fluids,” medic Jenny was saying as she attempted to break us apart. “I know you guys are happy to be reunited but you need the hospital [Y/N], come on. Into the car, all three of you if you like.”</p><p>Neither of them let go of my hands the whole drive there.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You really, <i>really</i> hate needles but you need those stitches. You also have a disturbing nightmare involving Ryan.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Warning for descriptive knife-play/torture in italics.</b><br/>Because it’s via a nightmare, there is a serious lack of consent also and I figured all of this warranted a fair warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The Emergency Room was packed on a Sunday night, with people being wheeled in with wounds ranging from minor to major, one man in particular having gotten into a nasty accident with his own nail gun.</p><p>In awe, Ryan leaned to get a better look as Geoff contrastingly averted his eyes. “That guy’s got nails sticking out of his <em>leg</em>!”</p><p>There were gurneys everywhere - wherever they could be slotted in as doctors and nurses buzzed around and loudly communicated with one another about the state of their patients while they treated their immediate wounds. This had caused my wait time to be pushed back because I wasn’t considered to be such an emergency, especially because my wounds had been tended to on the scene and were no longer bleeding. I had been briefly assessed for my mental condition once again as I provided insurance details while they ruled out that I didn’t have anything catastrophic going on with me that required urgent care. So now it was a waiting game for a medical professional to be freed up, my body being revitalised with oxygen in the meantime via a thin clear tube that rested just under my nose looped back over my ears and behind me to an inbuilt wall supply.</p><p>The police had long-gone, having interviewed me pretty thoroughly for details of all sorts including motive, what I remembered him saying, what the chemical had smelled like that had knocked me unconscious and more – all while it was still fresh in my mind. I’d recounted everything I possibly could while the guys sat quietly at my sides.</p><p>“Ry,” I patted him on the thigh for his attention where he sat beside me on my assigned bed. Feeling so weak and injured, I was also feeling particularly needy for their comfort. “D’you think the medic was right when she said I’d need stitches in my arm?”</p><p>“Probably,” he replied distractedly as I clutched harder at his hand in slight distress, Geoff sitting on a chair beside the bed on my other side, observing this. The doctor nearby was now examining the nail-penetrated patient and discussing with some other medical professionals that they would need to make sure they knew what damage had been done before they removed them. There was also the issue that they couldn’t x-ray him because of the metal.</p><p>“But…don’t they do that…with a really big needle?” My voice shook a little, my stomach tightening. Having the needle inserted into my arm for my fluid bag had been bad enough and if weren’t for the fact that I was feeling less shaky and stronger because of the oxygen, I probably would have passed out as the nurse tried to find a vain.</p><p>Obviously finally realising what my issue was now, Ryan turned to look at me with sympathy in his eyes. “It’s not that big of a needle. They’ll numb your arm first.”</p><p>“<em>Two</em> more needles?” I groaned as he rose an eyebrow at how tightly I was holding his hand.</p><p>“Hey, breathe,” Geoff told me from my left as I tried not to allow the panic to rise within me at the prospect of this.</p><p>I smiled a little as Ryan broke my hand’s grip in order to slide his arm comfortingly around me instead. “At least I can still use a keyboard and mouse.”</p><p>“You’re not going back to fuckin’ work tomorrow morning,” Geoff said firmly. “And you’d better believe that I’m not letting you out of our sight for a while.”</p><p>“But it’s Monday,” I replied stupidly. “We have stuff to record.”</p><p>“It can wait,” Geoff shrugged. “You’re having tomorrow off.”</p><p>“Yes but Geoff-“</p><p>“Keep arguing with me and I’m going to pull a Ryan and threaten you with sexy punishment,” he told me quietly, a hint of smile on his lips.</p><p>I went sheepishly quiet, only mouthing the word ‘fine’ as Ryan chuckled in amusement at Geoff pulling rank as my boss and boyfriend simultaneously.</p><p>“Hi there, I’m Doctor Marshall,” smiled a middle-aged blonde lady in a white coat over her dark scrubs as she drew the privacy curtain around us and pulled a tall thin cart with drawers over behind her. On top of it was a silver tray with gauze and needles. “You need your arm suturing, dear. Can you just give her a little space, please?” She gazed steadily at Ryan until he reluctantly moved to stand behind the chair Geoff was sitting on, allowing her enough room to lower the bed and pull up a chair to the side of me.</p><p>“I’m…I…I’m shit with needles,” I whimpered as I perched on the edge of the bed for her, desperately wanting to look away from the sterile metal tray but at the same time not wanting to in case she suddenly began when I wasn’t ready.</p><p>Geoff reached for my hand from my left and I squeezed it tight as Doctor Marshall rubbed something cold and orange on to the skin of my arm above the slices before angling my arm so that it was resting on part of the cart to steady it for her.</p><p>“Most people aren’t great with them,” she smiled kindly, peeling the bloody bandage off of my upper arm before picking up a syringe with a milky fluid inside of it. “I’m going to numb your arm so that you don’t feel pain when I sew you up.”</p><p>“Breathe,” Geoff instructed me gently as I looked away from my right arm towards my two guys, unable to actually witness the needle sliding into my skin. I took a slow, steady breath.</p><p>“Sharp scratch,” the doctor lied as it felt not like that at all and actually like exactly what it was – being stabbed with a thin spike of metal.</p><p>I winced while she took her time, slowly injecting the fluid into me as a strange, cold tingling sensation ran down my arm. She removed the syringe and beamed, placing it back on to the metal tray with a small clatter and flexing my arm at my elbow for me a little to help the anaesthetic work faster. Then she began to ready the suture kit.</p><p>Looking away again with a slight whimper, I gave Geoff’s hand another squeeze as he smiled at me supportively in return.</p><p>“So are you guys family, or…?” Doctor Marshall asked the two men casually by way of conversation as she got to work and I felt a weird pressure that thankfully lacked pain as she sewed my wounds closed.</p><p>“Boyfriend,” they replied together as I grinned bashfully.</p><p>Raising her eyebrows a little, the doctor continued her work without missing a beat. “Well alright then. Lucky girl.”</p><p>“I am,” I said, watching them exchange glances as I tried to completely ignore what was happening to my arm. “They’re the best.”</p><p>Screaming from the far corner of the room distracted us all except my doctor, as a patient was admitted with what was clearly chronic pain due to some accident he’d been in. The next half a minute was a process of doctors and nurses getting him to lay still whilst shouting things out like, ‘morphine!’ and ‘trauma to-‘ followed by a body part. Eventually he was quiet, obviously now on pain medication as he was treated for his injuries.</p><p>We couldn’t see any of this happening due to my privacy curtain, but I got the strong impression from all the talking I also didn’t want to see it.</p><p>“All done, dear!” Doctor Marshall announced, before reaching to remove my facial bandage gently too. “I just need to check this one too but I don’t think it’s quite as deep.”</p><p>I crossed my fingers and toes because if she was going to come at my <em>face </em>with a needle I was going to have to be very much sedated.</p><p>“Nope, you’re all good. And your oxygen levels are great now too,” she beamed, before examining the now-empty fluid bag hanging by my bedside. “I want you to keep these wounds clean and dry for a week and then I want to see you back here, okay?” She began to peel the tape off of my lower left arm to remove the intravenous drip.</p><p>Again I looked away, trying not to tense up too much as she stuck a band aid over the insertion spot in case it bled.</p><p>“I’ll get your discharge papers sorted out. Make sure you rest up, drink plenty of water and maybe go get a good meal in you. I trust that you two will look after her?” Doctor Marshall smiled at Geoff and Ryan, both of whom immediately nodded while she removed my oxygen tube from my face too. She drew the privacy curtain back away again and walked off.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, I’m <em>so sorry!” </em>Suddenly, Hanna was at my bedside out of nowhere, her eye makeup messed up due to her having been crying and her arms sliding around me. “They told me you’d been taken to the hospital but it took so long to get here, there’s been a massive accident on the highway so traffic is awful…”</p><p>Ahh, that explained the overly-busy ER and the screaming man.</p><p>“…it’s all my fault, I lead him here to you, I really didn’t think he knew where you lived…”</p><p>I sighed as she sat down beside me on the bed while Ryan tried to insist that this wasn’t her fault, but she continued rambling over him.</p><p>“…he’s such a horrible piece of shit and- oh <em>God, </em>your face!” she stopped, horrified as her eyes caught sight of my cheek followed by my freshly-sutured arm.</p><p>“Hanna, don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” I reassured her. “You were right; he doesn’t know where I live, but he followed me home to Ryan’s place on Saturday. Then he stalked us to the café. This is all on him, you didn’t do anything wrong.”</p><p>Tears in her eyes, she gazed at me guiltily as she leaned to hug me again. “I can’t believe this happened, I can’t believe he’d stoop so low to try to get me back…”</p><p>“Psychos gonna psycho,” I shrugged as Geoff nodded in sad agreement and Ryan gritted his teeth.</p><p>“If I ever see him outside of prison, I might have to leave the company,” Ryan told Geoff firmly and quietly. “And probably the country.”</p><p>Hanna smiled weakly as the doctor strolled back over. “You’ll have to beat me to it, dude.”</p><p>“You’re free to leave,” Doctor Marshall beamed at me as we all got up and all mutually agreed to head back to mine for take-out.</p><p>***</p><p>“Pass me the rice,” Hanna told me as I obliged, the four of us sitting in my tiny living area and watching television while we ate. Due to lack of sofa space, Ryan was seated on my desk chair that I’d wheeled through from my minute office but he didn’t seem to mind.</p><p>“I want the Chow Mein,” I reached for it and tucked in hungrily, eating like I’d been starved for a week.</p><p>Geoff had something spicy that I didn’t dare go near with my fork, let alone eat. Some American sitcom comedy was on television, prompting Ryan to begin to reach for the remote in disdain of it but when I protested, he left it on. I needed something mindless and vaguely amusing at times to take my mind off of everything, especially since it was familiar and I’d seen it hundreds of times before. My arm was sore every time I moved it too, but Hanna was fetching me whatever I wanted when I so much as mentioned it.</p><p>“Have you got any diet Coke?” Ryan inquired hopefully, glancing at me.</p><p>“Yep, I’ll get you one,” I replied automatically.</p><p>“No, you stay, I’ll get it,” Hanna cut in, forcing me back down by my shoulder while I was halfway up and going instead.</p><p>“It’s my arm that’s injured, not my leg,” I grinned at her as she returned from the kitchen with several diet Cokes, handing us all one.</p><p>“Yeah well, I’m gonna take care of you,” she replied simply, plonking herself back down beside me. “You’re my little sister.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I smiled gratefully, cracking open my can and taking a swig. “Maybe don’t tell Mom about this, she’ll never leave me alone. She’d probably try to move in.”</p><p>“Way ahead of you,” she nodded. “Speaking of moving in…that place I mentioned that I found? I’m going to view it next week. Wanna come?”</p><p>“Sure,” I replied, helping myself to the battered chicken that Geoff was holding out to me. “Is it bigger than mine though? Am I going to be jealous?”</p><p>“I doubt it, it’s a flat of a similar size,” Hanna laughed. “But it’s across town, nearer to where I’m working.”</p><p>Ryan snapped open a fortune cookie, pulling out the tiny strip of paper within and reading it aloud with a wry smile. “’Be a generous friend and a fair enemy’.”</p><p>Geoff snorted, reaching for his to read aloud too. “’Out of confusion comes new patterns’. What the fuck does that mean?”</p><p>“Well you’re confused, so there must be a pattern around here somewhere,” I grinned, watching him roll his eyes and light-heartedly throw the tiny bit of paper at me as I opened mine.</p><p>“’You will make a new friend tomorrow’,” I read. “Interesting, since Geoff won’t let me go to work tomorrow,” I pouted playfully as he smiled back.</p><p>Hanna shook her head in amusement. “Mine is, ‘You will have unexpected good luck’. So vague, so silly. And so not real.”</p><p>Eventually my exhaustion caught up with me as we finished our food and I sat back sleepily with Geoff’s arm around me. My eyelids kept drooping even though I was trying to watch the television and when Ryan pointed this out, everybody began to encourage me to go to bed. Sluggishly I did as I was told, brushing my teeth and then my hair and then undressing and putting on a fresh over-sized t-shirt and panties to climb into bed in.</p><p>Unable to lay on my right side I lay on my back instead, staring up at the ceiling as I listened to the sounds of Hanna washing and clearing up next door in the kitchen area as the guys continued to quietly watch something else on TV that was more to their liking since it was still relatively early in the evening.</p><p>I relaxed, my whole body craving rest even while my mind tried to whirr and keep me awake. I focused on thoughts of Ryan and Geoff and the way they had made me feel just a mere eight-or-so hours ago –which really felt more like several days ago because of everything that had happened – and a smile slipped on to my face as I fell into a deep sleep.</p><p>
  <em>My wrists were tied to the headboard and my ankles tied to the bedframe as the moon provided the only light in the room through the window where I had forgotten to draw the curtains. Completely restrained and entirely naked, I gazed up at Ryan straddling me, lust in his eyes even though he was fully-clothed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, stroking my skin lightly with his fingers as he smiled a little at my helpless form. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The moonlight glinted off of something silver in his other hand then; a large, mean-looking hunting knife. Slowly, he brought it to his mouth and licked the flat part of the blade, seeming to take delight in my sudden mixture of fear and excitement that showed so clearly on my face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I thought you said no knives in the bedroom,” I gasped, watching him as he lowered it down to the bare skin just above my breasts. “I thought it was too dangerous?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His smile turned to more of a smirk as he chuckled a little, his free hand sliding up to my throat. “It is dangerous. But maybe I want to watch you bleed.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My eyes widened then because he was pushing the boundaries. I wasn’t sure I was okay with this, but it was too late; he drew the blade across my flesh gently, the sharp steel cutting just enough to bear blood. If I could have moved, I would have squirmed uncomfortably because it hurt far more than I liked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ryan, no,” I said firmly, wanting him to stop. He was going too far and my tone of voice should have alerted him that I didn’t want this. But he was ignoring me, drawing the knife across again at a different angle down on my abdomen, deeper this time. “Fucking red!” I reinforced.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The safe word that we’d agreed upon months ago had finally found a use. It was my last resort if I couldn’t go through with something and I had always trusted that he would respect it, though never before had I been forced to use it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he didn’t stop.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m not done,” he replied softly, cutting me again with the knife as I shrieked now, panic rising inside me because he wasn’t listening to me. He had broken my trust; he was still going and he was cutting deeper every time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My blood began to trickle warm and wet down my sides as tears leaked from my eyes, agony overtaking my body as he merely observed this with no compassion. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You look so much prettier bleeding,” he taunted quietly, pausing to watch as red blossomed from every new cut.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Horrified, I shook my head, resorting to trying desperately to appeal to his empathetic side, wherever that had gone. “Ry, please stop, please…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Again he ignored me, but this time he raised the knife high above my chest.</em>
</p><p><em>“No, Ryan, </em>please!”</p><p>
  <em>He plunged the blade into my chest as I felt it pierce my insides, burning and tearing as he twisted it.</em>
</p><p>I sat bolt upright, shaking, thrashing and yelling. The room was dark, my heart thudding hard as I fought the duvet off of me and scrambled out of bed, falling to the floor at the end of it whilst aware that it must be late enough for everyone to have come to bed while I’d slept.</p><p>Sleepily, Geoff rolled over. “What the…”</p><p>I was sobbing, trying to catch my breath, still in panic mode as I scrambled to my feet and dashed to the bathroom, lifting the toilet seat lid and throwing up directly into the bowl without even switching on the light. My knees on the cold tile ached as I wiped my mouth, crying and still trying to find reality in my mind as the image of my blood pouring burned fresh in my mind’s eye.</p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” Ryan asked groggily from the doorway, making me jump violently as I looked up to see him in t-shirt and boxer-briefs.</p><p>I knew it had been a nightmare, that none of it had been real. I knew he would never hurt me like that. I knew he would <em>never </em>ignore our safe word. But his presence was still unnerving directly after waking up from something like that.</p><p>“Was it the food?” he asked, referring to my emptying my stomach as he stepped over to the fridge to get me a bottle of water.</p><p>“No,” I replied truthfully, my voice cracking a little. He hadn’t noticed in the relative darkness that I was crying yet. “I had a nightmare.” The sounds of Hanna snoring quietly from the sofa told me that I hadn’t woken her up, at least and Ryan was keeping his voice down enough to make sure he didn’t either.</p><p>Handing me the water, he sat down in the doorway of the bathroom, piercing me with his gaze. “About what?”</p><p>My stomach churned as I sipped the bottle, refreshing my mouth. “You.”</p><p>Our eyes were adjusting to the small amount of light there was so I could see his face a little clearer now. He looked concerned of course but I could barely look at him for flashes of the nightmare coming back to me.</p><p>“What happened?” he asked, reaching across to stroke my hair.</p><p>“You tortured me…there was so much blood…you had a knife…you…” I broke down again as he stared at me a little bewilderedly.</p><p>He paused before he shuffled closer to me, sliding his arms around me as I resisted at first but then gave in while he comforted me, still stroking my hair as I held on to him for dear life and wet his shirt with my tears. I tried to snap myself out of it as the more he petted me, the calmer I started to feel.</p><p>“I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but I’d never do any of that, angel,” he whispered to me, stroking my back gently with his other hand.</p><p>“You wouldn’t stop…even when I said the safe word…” I mumbled, sniffing and gasping for breath a little.</p><p>“Shhh,” Ryan soothed softly. “I’d never do that.”</p><p>“I know,” I replied as he tore off some toilet tissue for me to wipe my eyes with. “But it felt so real.”</p><p>We sat entwined for a few minutes as I calmed down, my breathing evening out.</p><p>“Your brain sucks,” he said quietly and suddenly into the silence.</p><p>I lifted my head off his chest to look up at him, frowning a little. “Excuse me?”</p><p>With a slight smile, Ryan nodded. “Yeah. Everything we have as far as kinky play in the bedroom combined with you being held at knifepoint by that scumbag caused your brain to create some horrific nightmare that made me the bad guy. And we had that conversation before about knives.”</p><p>I thought about this. “Wow. You’re right.” I tilted my head to the side a little. “My brain <em>does </em>suck.”</p><p>We both laughed then, trying to contain ourselves or else risk waking up my sister who was mere feet away as he helped me up and we made our way back to bed. Geoff yawned and in his half-asleep state, asked if I was okay. I reassured him and lay back down clutching Ryan’s hand and the next thing I knew was Geoff’s phone piercing my eardrums with its ringtone.</p><p>“Make it stop,” Ryan groaned as Geoff reached for it, standing fully-dressed and staring at the screen for a minute before hitting ‘answer’ as the morning sunshine flooded into the room.</p><p>“’Sup Burnie? …No…I haven’t looked at the Rooster Teeth Subreddit this morning, I don’t browse it every fuckin’ hour. Why?”</p><p>Ryan groaned again and rolled over as I pulled the duvet up over my head in resistance to the noise.</p><p>“Shit. Okay. Have you called legal?” Geoff replied, still standing in the bedroom obliviously waking us up. He had to be at work today sure, but Ryan didn’t have to be in the office until midday which allowed him a lay-in that he currently wasn’t getting. “No she didn’t consent or get interviewed, are you fuckin’ serious?”</p><p>Geoff was getting gradually more irritated as his brow furrowed and he perched on the edge of the bed, much to our annoyance. “Yeah, she is okay now, she’s recovering. She got cut up a little, we were in hospital for a couple of hours yesterday. I’ve told her she’s not coming in today.”</p><p>Huh, they were talking about me. What was going on? I felt like I should care more, but I was just so warm and comfortable… I was aware of Ryan reaching for his phone.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s got someone to look after her, she lives with her sister right now,” Geoff was saying as Ryan scrolled through his phone beside me. I blearily opened my eyes a fraction to look at what he was looking at, his screen brightness thankfully mercifully low. “I’ll let them know. Okay Burnie, thanks.”</p><p>Ryan seemed to wake up very quickly when he saw the Reddit post in question, reading through it rapidly as I yawned and sat up as Geoff explained, giving up on going back to sleep.</p><p>The post seemed to be from a concerned fan detailing about how they wanted to know if I was actually okay and with hundreds of people asking what the hell happened, but it linked through to an internet gaming news article that had been posted no less than half an hour ago with far more details than I would have liked.</p><p>It was nothing new for my name and face to be plastered onto the internet, so that didn’t shock me as it would perhaps an average person. What did shock me was the level of detail in the article that described how I’d been kidnapped yesterday, how it was ‘leverage-based’ and how I’d been cut up but wasn’t seriously injured. The article also briefly mentioned how I’d also been shot a few months ago, which I knew the public already knew about because it had been mentioned in videos in passing by myself and the guys with my blessing.</p><p>Surprise had silenced me because I was so shocked that somebody so nosy had been in the same room as me in the ER, had known exactly who we were and cared enough to write a news article about me. They’d clearly heard the entire conversation with the police too because they even wrote about the reason for my kidnapping.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” Ryan breathed, still reading through the article himself while Geoff spoke. “This reporter guy was <em>in </em>the ER when we were. There’s a picture of us.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Honesty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You finally come clean to Jack and Gavin and Jeremy and Trevor are there too. You also have your meeting with Burnie and afterwards wind up pilfering a certain set of keys.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“What the fuck?” Geoff leaned over to see Ryan’s phone screen as my heart sank. I was very obviously holding his hand in the photo and Ryan was sitting pretty close to me for a mere friend and colleague - our thighs were touching and his arm was behind me as he leaned into me a little, smiling while we talked.</p><p>“The fans’ll have a field day with this,” Ryan mumbled dryly, rolling his eyes. “I particularly enjoyed the part that speculated as to whether or not we were complicit in your kidnapping and that maybe we were only there to keep you quiet for the cops. Also the part where they wrote that it might all just be a stunt to get more views for a future video. Oh and don’t forget the bit where they think you’re dating Geoff.”</p><p>I closed my eyes. This was not happening.</p><p>“Burnie wants to meet all three of us in his office later today,” Geoff sighed, his face in his hands now as he frustratedly rubbed his forehead. “We need to sort this out. The community is already going to be coming up with conspiracy theories and making up bullshit from that photo and comment alone. Legal is trying to contact the website admin and writer to get this article taken down but a lot of people have already seen it.”</p><p>“Am I fired?” I wondered aloud lightly, not particularly speaking to Geoff because people above him could decide that too if things were bad enough. “This doesn’t look good for the company’s image, right?”</p><p>“No you’re not <em>fired,” </em>Geoff replied defensively. “I’ll fight for you until the end if they try but I think Burnie’s more concerned about your wellbeing and how this article affects you emotionally. I’ve known that man for years, he’s not going to turn on you.”</p><p>“Ah,” was all I said as Ryan sighed heavily and lay back down again, still staring at his phone as Geoff slipped on his Vans and pulled on his hoodie.</p><p>“Come into the office together in a bit okay? I don’t want you working, just come in for this meeting,” he reiterated to me specifically.</p><p>“I don’t want to stay here all day by myself after it though,” I whined, laying back down and snuggling up to Ryan. The nightmare last night seemed even more ludicrous by the light of day as he smiled at me affectionately and pulled me close, his hair mussed up from the pillow. And damn he smelled good, a little like cedarwood and something pleasantly musky.</p><p>Geoff seemed to think this over. During weekdays Hanna was at work and didn’t get home until about half six. If I did stay in my flat all day I’d be alone, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted me to be right now.</p><p>“Okay, sit it out on our sofa in the office then, or in the lunch area. Or anywhere on the company property so I know you’re safe,” he relented. “But rest. I don’t want you stressing about video editing or answering emails or replying to fans or anything else.”</p><p>I nodded as he leaned down to kiss my cheek before disappearing, leaving me with a once-again sleepy Ryan. He’d put his phone back down and now he was dropping off again, the warm room helping with this as I stroked his chest gently and my mind wandered. His birthday was tomorrow and I’d had an idea that he would definitely like, though it would require some planning on my part to pull it off.</p><p>***</p><p>“Trevor, you cannot be serious,” Michael hissed as he watched the Chief Editor of Achievement Hunter and man in charge of the side office sheepishly shrug with an embarrassed grin.</p><p>I crossed my legs from my position of taking up nearly the entire white leather sofa that sat in the corner of our office against the wall, laying on it horizontally across it with my head propped up by the giant fish plushie while I tried to concentrate on my Kindle app.</p><p>“I dunno what to tell you man, it’s just gone.” It wasn’t so much that he didn’t seem to care, it was more that he knew that the file had been somehow deleted and there was probably no way to recover it. He had already resigned himself to being ‘in the shit’, as the guys would put it.</p><p>“How can you accidently delete an entire video recording?” Jack asked bewilderedly as Lindsay shook her head and Gavin and Ray tried not to laugh.</p><p>“Well okay look, I didn’t actually sit there and hit ‘delete’,” Trevor sighed. “I went to look where it should be and it wasn’t there. Then I searched my whole computer and it wasn’t anywhere.”</p><p>The familiar chime of an Xbox One starting up rang out as Jack switched on his controller. “We’re going to have to record another one when Ryan and Geoff are next here. Where is Ryan, anyway?”</p><p>I looked up from my iPad to witness this discussion better, my concentration for reading broken anyway as I observed the way in which Trey was standing with a hand on the back of his head bashfully and Michael, Gavin, Lindsay, Jack and Ray were staring at him.</p><p>“Ryan’s with Ashley and Gus for ‘The Patch’ stuff. Which video are you guys on about?” I asked.</p><p>“The last Grand Theft Auto V heist we did last week,” Ray informed me.</p><p>Ah. Ryan usually edited those, but everything was forwarded to Trevor by default so that he could distribute files accordingly to the correct staff members. It kept things more streamlined to have one person that you sent everything to rather than everybody having to remember who edited what.</p><p>“I’ll check my computer again, maybe I just missed it,” Trevor mumbled.</p><p>“I fucking doubt that,” Michael replied cynically, turning to sit down at his desk. “I know Geoff occasionally loses his footage, but come on Trey.”</p><p>Lindsay smiled at Trevor. “To be fair, Geoff can’t have a go at you because he’s done the same thing multiple times in the past. What’s up with you today?” She had glanced in my direction with that question, raising her eyebrows at the way I was sitting doing nothing constructive – not that they were either, currently.</p><p>“Uhh…day off,” I replied slowly, wondering how none of them had seen or been told about the online article yet. I supposed it was purely by chance.</p><p>Ironically, Jeremy burst in at that moment and confirmed that at least some of the members of staff in AH glanced at the general internet occasionally. “Holy fuck [Y/N], is any of this true?”</p><p>Switching my iPad’s display off now and completely abandoning my book because I knew I would be inevitably forced to explain everything, I sighed and sat upright. “Some of it.”</p><p>“Is what true?” Lindsay frowned, taking Jeremy’s phone from him to see for herself as the others crowded around her curiously. The more they read the more confused they looked.</p><p>“You were…kidnapped? What?” Ray frowned.</p><p>I took a deep breath. “My sister’s crazy ex-fiancé tracked me because I work here, abducted me and tried to make me tell him where she was. She came to live with me a while ago to escape from him because he’s an abusive asshole that physically hurt her in the past.”</p><p>There was a staggered silence as the lot of them stared at me. Awkwardly, Gavin grinned.</p><p>“You’re kidding, right?”</p><p>I shook my head. “No. I was in hospital yesterday because I needed stitches because of what that douche did to me.”</p><p>Jack gawped as the others continued to stare at me while I dropped my hoodie off of my shoulder and pulled it down my arm a little bit to show them.</p><p>“Fuck,” Jeremy said quietly, his Malteser brown eyes sympathetic as he sat down on the sofa beside me. “Why were you with Geoff and Ryan of all people?”</p><p>Oh, right. The photo.</p><p>“Because we were all out at that little donut café down the street yesterday and Geoff heard me get snatched so they followed me and called the cops. That’s how they found me so quickly,” I told them all honestly as they continued to look a mixture of shocked and surprised while my stomach twisted at the thought of <em>not </em>being found so quickly.</p><p>“You were hanging out with them both outside of work?” Trevor asked, his brows rising. “That’s an…unlikely lunch date.”</p><p>It was, a little. If it hadn’t been for the fact that they’d both spent the morning fucking me senseless before taking me to lunch, it probably wouldn’t have casually happened. If I wasn’t dating both of them, it almost certainly wouldn’t have happened.</p><p>Michael loyally kept his mouth shut, but Gavin put his foot in it immediately.</p><p>“Yeah, I get Geoff but why Ryan?”</p><p>“Why do you ‘get’ Geoff?” Jack asked with a laugh as he sat down at his desk. “I know why she was with Ryan, but why was Geoff there? This writer guy thinks she’s dating him but that’s ridiculous, right?”</p><p>“Uh…” There was a pause as they all stared at me. “Well…actually…no, it’s not. Because I am.”</p><p>If they hadn’t already all been shocked as hell, they sure were now.</p><p>“You’re going out with Geoff?” Jeremy asked in surprise.</p><p>“Wait, our boss Geoff?” Trevor gasped.</p><p>“What?” Jack frowned, clearly confused because he was still under the impression I was dating Ryan and only Ryan.</p><p>Well if ever there was a time to finally come clean with a bunch of my closest friends who also happened to be my colleagues, it was now. Here went nothing.</p><p>“I’m dating Geoff. I’m also dating Ryan,” I sighed. “We’re poly.”</p><p>Gavin’s eyes widened so much I thought that his eyeballs might fall out of his skull. “You’re dating <em>Ryan </em>too?”</p><p>Lindsay chipped in supportively. “Yes, she is. And that’s why the lunch date makes sense.”</p><p>“But…but…” Trevor was struggling to find words as Jeremy tilted his head to the side in confusion.</p><p>“What’s poly?”</p><p>“Polyamory,” Ray clarified for me, saving me from speaking. “She’s in a relationship with both of them but they both know about the other and don’t mind.”</p><p>I could tell that my cheeks were already burning as my fear of being judged by some of the people I cared most about crashed down on me suddenly.</p><p>“Oh…” Jeremy nodded, obviously trying to grasp this concept. “I’ve heard of it but I didn’t know it was called that.”</p><p>“I’m going to tell you all right now, I’m <em>not </em>doing it to get an advantage in my job,” I felt the need to state, before they could even so much as think otherwise.  </p><p>“I didn’t think you were,” Trevor shrugged. “You have more integrity than that and Geoff would never stand for it anyway.”</p><p>Complimented, I smiled at him as Jack finally found his voice.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me the whole truth when I found out about you and Ryan?” He sounded a little hurt, but I couldn’t blame him.</p><p>“I was…worried…” I admitted. “I didn’t want everyone thinking I was a whore who was sleeping with multiple people that I work with and worse, that I was taking advantage for my career.”</p><p>“We wouldn’t have thought that,” Jack replied softly, which made me wish I’d told him far sooner. “Right?” He glanced around at the others.</p><p>“I don’t think that,” Lindsay said firmly to me. “I get why you’re worried about the public knowing, because that’s a totally separate thing. But we’re your family here…you can tell us anything. We’re not going to exile you.”</p><p>“Yep,” Michael nodded in agreement. “Besides, Geoff’s seemed way happier the last few months so that’s a fucking bonus in my book.”</p><p>Gavin cocked his head. “So the whole time you’ve been with Geoff, you’ve also been with Ryan?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded, watching him try to accept this as I regretted my decision to ever hide this from them. “I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you all from the start.”</p><p>“I wish you had,” Jack replied. “But it’s okay.”</p><p>“So…when can we start making fun of you for finding two of the oldest guys in the office attractive?” Trevor grinned at me, a twinkle in his eye.</p><p>I shrugged with a slight laugh, because with or without my permission this was probably going to happen anyway. “Just do me a favour guys…don’t broadcast this, okay?”</p><p>Jeremy mimed zipping his lips while Jack nodded understandingly.</p><p>“Can I tell Meg?” Gavin asked. “Trying to find out who Ryan’s been dating has been driving her mad.”</p><p>Nodding with a smile, I watched him pull out his phone. “But only her, right?”</p><p>Michael rolled his eyes. “Anyway, enough about who you’re fucking. What the hell actually <em>happened </em>yesterday? You managed to get kidnapped in broad daylight in a <em>café?</em>”</p><p>“Dave’s a big guy,” I shrugged, before telling them everything as they all sat and listened, enthralled and appalled in equal measures. I explained it all right up to the meeting shortly, where I would have to probably explain it all again to Burnie.</p><p>“Holy shit,” Lindsay breathed.</p><p>“You’re cursed,” Jeremy told me firmly, patting my shoulder. “Shot and kidnapped in the same year. You’re a cursed badass.”</p><p>“Tell me about it,” I laughed, appreciating his humour as he grinned back.</p><p>I checked my watch; time to go. “I’ll be back in a while,” I told them all as they nodded, not knowing what else to say. I felt the weight and imminence of the phrase ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’ as I walked down the corridor, outside and across to the next hanger over. I was the last to arrive despite being totally on time, with Geoff and Ryan already sitting down as I took a seat too and Burnie sat behind his desk opposite us.</p><p>“Hey, how’re you feeling, chick?” he asked, smiling kindly as he sat back in his chair casually. Despite being the CEO of the company as well as a key founding member, he had never been the suit-and-tie type of guy. He’d also never been the kind to do anything but try to support his employees, so I knew his asking how I was came with sincerity.</p><p>“I’m okay,” I replied quietly.</p><p>“Good,” he replied, gazing steadily at me through his glasses. “I know you’ve done this for the police, but I need you to recount everything.”</p><p>Another fifteen minutes was spent explaining and all the while, I played with a thread on the knee of my jeans, looking down as I spoke.</p><p>“Jesus,” Burnie replied when I was finally done, not saying anything more for several seconds as I shuffled a bit. “I’m going to be honest with you. I’m worried about you working here.”</p><p>I’d half expected this. “I know you’re worried about the publicity that this-“</p><p>“No, not because of that,” Burnie sighed, cutting me off but not harshly. “I’m worried because working here has led to you being a victim of a major violent incident <em>twice </em>now.”</p><p>Geoff opened and closed his mouth. He had been so prepared to fight for me to keep my job but none of us had expected this. Everything that Burnie had just said, he didn’t seem to be able to argue with or dispute.</p><p>“I know but let me explain my view,” I said promptly. “Dave wanted to find Hanna whether I was here or not. He didn’t follow me from my workplace, I was at a café in my own time. And Ellie…she was crazy over Gavin Free. Nothing was getting in her way but I just happened to be, in her opinion. It could have just easily have been Meg if they’d started dating a little earlier.”</p><p>With another kind smile, Burnie shook his head. “He knew you were in this exact part of Texas because you work here and that’s easy to Google. And if you didn’t live and work in Austin-”</p><p>“Then Ellie would have taken it out on someone else close to Gavin, probably also a woman,” I pointed out, interrupting him. “I don’t want to leave the company, I love my job. I love these guys.” I gestured sideways before quickly amending my sentence. “I love <em>working </em>with these guys.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Burnie asked, but I got the sense that he wasn’t applying pressure. He seemed concerned. “Because you will have glowing recommendations for what you do from everybody here if you want to leave.”</p><p>“Yes, I’m sure. I’m not leaving.” I looked him in the eyes as I said this, wanting to drive my words home.</p><p>Burnie picked up a yellow stress ball and began to squeeze it gently, passing it from one hand to the other absently. “Alright. So, about the other part of the article that speculates you’re dating each other.”</p><p>Geoff raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Level with me, man. We’ve been friends for years and started this company from nothing together. Are you dating [Y/N]? I know it’s probably total made-up bullshit but I wanted to lay it to rest right now and ask you straight out.”</p><p>I glanced sideways at him, giving him a look that gave him permission to be honest in the hopes that <em>this </em>wouldn’t be the reason I’d be fired instead.</p><p>“Yes we are, but not publicly,” he nodded. “And it doesn’t affect our jobs.”</p><p>Laughing, Burnie glanced from Geoff to me. “I didn’t think you were going to confirm it! Dating your employee? That’s pretty-”</p><p>“Fine, because It’s not just some weird workplace fling that’s going to fuck everything up,” I interrupted, figuring that he was going to say the word ‘inappropriate’. “Besides, you’re seeing Ashley and you’re the CEO of Rooster Teeth!”</p><p>Geoff shot me a warning look but I ignored it.</p><p>“Ashley doesn’t directly work under me,” Burnie sighed, gazing at me. “She doesn’t see me in her day-to-day working schedule. Geoff...works with you almost every day in close proximity, within the same projects. You’re lucky I know him so well and know that he can be professional.”</p><p>“Weeell…” Geoff grinned.</p><p>“You know what I mean,” Burnie rolled his eyes with humour on his face. “Anyway, sorry to drag you in here too Ryan. It’s just that you were with her in hospital, obviously, according to that photo and article. Guess the fans that thought you were dating [Y/N] instead are wrong.”</p><p>“Is it too much to hope that the public won’t find out I’m dating Geoff after this?” I asked bluntly.</p><p>“They won’t know for sure unless you confirm it,” he replied with a shrug and a slight smile. “But they are going to speculate forever based on every little interaction you have with one another now, so have fun with that.”</p><p>Ryan shook his head. “They already do that with me and Meg Turney but there’s nothing going on there. It happens all the time with this company; the second anybody seems remotely close with someone of the opposite sex or sometimes, the same sex, the fandoms are all over it.”</p><p>Burnie pretended to be shocked. “Wait, you’re <em>not </em>seeing Meg?”</p><p>This caused Geoff to begin snickering because that had been the office joke for quite some time now and even though he knew better, to hear somebody else point it out was still amusing to him.</p><p>“No!” Ryan groaned as I giggled and Burnie smirked.</p><p>“Look, I’ve had the internet completely shit all over me during my time in this company. I can handle rumours about my dating life,” Geoff reassured him once he’d gotten it together again. “It won’t be an issue.”</p><p>The atmosphere had lightened and as we left the office, the burden upon my shoulders had significantly too. I felt like I was back in control again and nobody I had admitted the truth to today had thought badly of me. I had no idea why I’d had this preconceived notion of them reacting so negatively towards it.</p><p>“Geoff, wait,” I told him, grabbing his arm as he made to walk off. “I need your help with something important.”</p><p>Seeing my mischievous smile, Geoff grinned a little. “What?”</p><p>“Ryan’s birthday is tomorrow,” I said very quietly even though he had gone. “And I’ve got an idea, but I need you to give me a ride today.”</p><p>“Okay, but you know we’re all going out to that great chicken place tomorrow evening, right?” he asked, folding his arms. “Just the seven of us.”</p><p>“’Course!” I replied, because that had been secretly planned for weeks. “But I wanted to give him a present when he…goes home, afterwards.” I looked upwards innocently as he Geoff caught my drift and a slow smirk tugged at his lips.</p><p>“Why d’you need a ride from me? Don’t you think it’ll look a little weird if we leave together before everyone else?”</p><p>“I don’t need a ride from you tomorrow, I need a ride from you now,” I explained, “because I need to buy a ridiculous amount of diet Coke cans, hide them and then get an uber to his tomorrow to get there before he does to set it up.”</p><p>Geoff’s smirk widened. “Set what up?”</p><p>“You’ll see,” I replied with a smile. “Dammit, I’m going to need his house keys.”</p><p>“What, you’re not an expert lockpicker?” he teased as I pushed him lightly.</p><p>“No. What’s the best way to steal a man’s keys from his pocket?” I sighed, aware of how ridiculous that question was as Geoff observed me.</p><p>“That’s not where he keeps them,” he chuckled. “He keeps his phone and wallet in his pocket, but his house keys will be in his bag. Get back to me when you’ve got them.” With a wink, he strolled off.</p><p>So I found myself hanging around near the office that Ashley resided in as she eyed me suspiciously and Gus fixed me with a curious stare. Ryan had left them just long enough not long ago to attend Burnie’s meeting but now that he was done he had returned, the three of them deep in conversation but not actually recording while they sat around a table planning game topics to discuss.</p><p>Where did Ryan put his bag when he was here…maybe nearby? If it was in his car, I was screwed. I glanced around this office nonchalantly as the three of them clearly wondered why I was there. Nope…it wasn’t here. With an angelic smile, I waved at them and left, returning to the Achievement Hunter office – it was entirely possible he’d left it in here for the afternoon, trusting us not to…well…rifle through his stuff.</p><p>Whoops.</p><p>Our office was luckily absent now, but I didn’t trust it to stay that way for very long as I dashed over to look under Ryan’s desk. His backpack was there, which was my first victory. The threat of anybody walking in in the middle of this was hanging over me though as I routinely checked the pockets finally pulled out the keys, attached to a couple of keyrings. One was one of those plastic keyrings you can have made up with a photo of your choice in it and that photo was of baby Olivia and toddler Eli. The other keyrings were a metal Star Wars one, a red and black rubber Gears Of War logo and a small t-rex that had been laser-cut out of circuit board and attached to a metal loop.</p><p>What a total and utter adorable dork he actually was.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Dessert</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014.  You know how much Ryan loves sweets, so your surprise for his Birthday plays out pretty well. ;) ]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning – about halfway down</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Drinks were flowing for everyone as we ate and drank merrily, the table heaving with various alcohol and sodas along with portions of differently cooked chicken and sides that included fries, coleslaw, tortilla wraps and more while we all jokingly teased Ryan about being another year older and had conversations about the following year in our personal lives. The entire place smelled gloriously of chicken and spices since they served it grilled, fried and deep-fried depending on your preference with a range of hot sauces going from spicy to you-obviously-don’t-like-having-tastebuds hot.</p><p>I ate my fair share for sure but nobody could beat Jack and Ryan who seemed to be bottomless pits when it came to food, with the pair of them having abandoned any sense of self control because there was a celebratory excuse to do so.</p><p>“I think you just ate what amounts to a whole chicken,” I commented with a laugh as Ryan sat back, stuffed and happy.</p><p>“If I did, would you be impressed?” he grinned at me as Geoff played referee for Michael and Gavin taking part in a beer-drinking contest across from us.</p><p>“It’s not really an achievement to eat that much food, is it?” I pondered as I watched Jack picking at his fries before finally giving up, while I nibbled on another grilled chicken wing.</p><p>“I’ve hit a wall,” he announced from my other side, clearing his throat as he swallowed his last bite. “But yeah, it is an achievement. Haven’t you ever seen competitive eating contests?”</p><p>Of course I had, but I still never really saw it as a challenge so much as a waste of perfectly good food. Then again, in this instance Ryan and Jack had at least enjoyed what they were eating rather than just consuming it as quickly as possible. Shaking my head with a grin and glancing across at Ray who was encouraging Gavin to finish his drink first and win, I noticed Michael struggling with his own pitcher-sized container of beer.</p><p> “That, I couldn’t do,” Ryan gestured to the pair of them. “Beer is…blegh.”</p><p>I couldn’t agree more. “Yeah, I’d be bad at swallowing so much in one go even if it was something I liked.” That could one-hundred percent have been phrased better by me and I realised it immediately.</p><p>“You don’t usually have an issue with that,” Ryan smirked sideways at me before I got the chance to amend my words. I lightly hit his arm.</p><p>“That’s different and you know it, there’s nowhere near-“ I blushed as he laughed at my rise. “Shut up Ry.”</p><p>“Come on Michael, you can do it!” Jack picked a side since Gavin had a supporter already in Ray.</p><p>“If any pours down your front you’re disqualified!” Geoff told them both in warning while they gulped down what had to have been around five cans-worth in mere minutes. “You’ve gotta actually drink it!”</p><p>Michael seemed to get a second wind and with difficulty, slammed his pitcher down abruptly as he took the victory. “Yeaaahhh!” He burped loudly.</p><p>Gavin finished his around ten seconds afterwards and groaned at his own defeat and discomfort simultaneously as Geoff declared the winner and the rest of us watched on amusedly.</p><p>“Alright, I dare you to eat some of the hottest sauce,” Gavin turned on Jack a little vengefully for supporting Michael instead of him. “Right now.” He placed the little bottle of dark sauce with a red skull on the label down in front of his plate that was apparently made from the hottest chilli pepper in the world. It had been on the table the entire meal but nobody had dared to touch it.</p><p>“Aw fuck no,” Jack shook his head, drawing the line. “No.”</p><p>“Do it,” Michael smirked at him, drunkenly pushing a sharing plate with a little leftover grilled chicken towards him.</p><p>“I am not doing that,” Jack responded, still stubbornly refusing as he pushed the hot sauce away from himself.</p><p>“I will give you one hundred dollars,” Gavin began in a slight slur as we all collectively groaned, because he seemed to start sentences with this line <em>a</em> <em>lot</em>, “if you can eat a big spoonful of that.”</p><p>He still seemed reluctant but with money on the line now, Jack was starting to come around to the idea. “Can I eat something with it at least?”</p><p>“Oh absolutely, long as you cover it in the sauce,” Michael grinned with a glance at Gavin, who approved of this stipulation.</p><p>“Do you actually have that money on you right now?” I asked curiously, as Gavin pulled out his wallet by way of reply and slapped some bills on the table totalling what he’d promised with more force than he would have sober, probably. Then again, if he was sober he probably wouldn’t be betting so much money on it.</p><p>“’Course he does, he’s Gavin-Moneybags-Free,” Geoff scoffed as Michael snickered.</p><p>Jack sighed wistfully at the bills and grabbed the bottle, unscrewing the cap and pouring some out onto some grilled chicken. From next to him, the smell of it hit me almost immediately.</p><p>“Fucking hell, that’s strong,” I winced, pulling a face as he smothered the chicken in it and held it near his mouth ready on the end of his fork. Even just the scent of it was making my eyes water slightly.</p><p>“So I just have to eat this and swallow it and I get that hundred dollars?” Jack asked hesitantly as Gavin nodded, a huge grin on his face.</p><p>“Dude, you are gonna die,” Ray laughed, chewing on a hot wing. “Don’t do it. Not worth it.”</p><p>But Jack had done it; the grilled chicken coated in the surely-toxic hot sauce was in his mouth and he was chewing as we all watched him apprehensively, waiting for the inevitable reaction. It didn’t take long.</p><p>“Oh <em>fuck,” </em>he cursed, chewing faster as the heat intensified before swallowing and grabbing his glass of soda and drinking that down to attempt to quell the fire. It wasn’t helping though as he sat with his mouth open wishing for relief, his face red and his eyes streaming from the spiciness. “So hot. It’s so hot. Shit.”</p><p>Gavin laughed and pushed the money across the table to him with a cheer while Geoff and Michael clapped, which Jack snatched in what was now very little compensation for the feeling of having swallowed something akin to lava. I sure hoped it wasn’t going to be worse going out tomorrow than it was going in, for his sake.</p><p>“Jesus, man,” Ryan grinned. “You’re a braver man than I.”</p><p>My phone buzzed.</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m here. -H x’</em>
</p><p>My initial secret Birthday surprise idea had been to leave early to beat Ryan home by getting an Uber but upon explaining this to my sister she had offered instead to give me a lift there and drop me off. This actually made things much more convenient because it meant that I could use her as an excuse to leave early, hopefully avoiding suspicion.</p><p><em>‘Thanks, might be a little while’ </em>was my reply to her because unfortunately, I still needed to get Ryan’s house keys from him again. Yesterday I’d replaced them in his bag after my excursion to the store with Geoff so that a) he would never know I’d had them and b) so that he would be able to get into his house when he went home last night, but now I needed them back again and he had just gotten up to head to the restrooms which created the perfect opportunity. Quickly, I rose too and followed him upstairs where they were situated. I managed to get right into the corridor there where the doors were located before I finally spoke up.</p><p>“Hey Ry.”</p><p>In surprise, he turned. “Are…you…following me in here?” He pointed jokingly at the men’s room door.</p><p>“No,” I replied, fluttering my eyelashes and moving closer to him. “I just…wanted…uh…”</p><p>“What?” he asked, cocking his head a little as he gazed at me.</p><p>“To kiss you,” I said firmly, standing on tiptoes to do just this as he made a small noise of clear astonishment at my wanting to suddenly make out with him near the toilets of a restaurant. I trailed my hands slowly down to his jean-clad ass, very subtly actually externally searching his pockets for the one which contained his keys.</p><p>“Now?” he asked, confusion in his eyes as I smiled innocently before continuing to kiss him gently. Despite his initial surprise he was still reciprocating, his hands loosely placed on my hips as I moved mine around to his front jeans pockets as carefully as I could without him knowing that I was up to something.</p><p>Bingo - front left. He had detached it from its keychains so it fit, but there was definitely the outline of a key as I slipped two fingers slowly into the pocket, still distracting him with my lips as my other hand went up to his cheek in genuine affection. I managed to pinch the metal between my two fingers as I felt his hands slide over my ass but the next thing I felt was a hand close around my pilfering wrist.</p><p>Pulling away from my lips just enough to speak, he whispered, “What are you doing?”</p><p>Busted.</p><p>“Nothing?” I suggested as he began to chuckle in bemusement.</p><p>“Are you trying to pickpocket me?” he asked as I put on my most angelic expression.</p><p>“No, I just…” He lifted my hand up by my wrist as he locked eyes with what I was now holding – his house key. I went wide-eyed. “Oh look, how did that get in my hand?”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you trying to take my key?”</p><p>Shaking my wrist loose of his gentle grip and backing up a little, I grinned sheepishly. “I just need it, trust me. And don’t get dessert.”</p><p>“What, why?” he began to protest, but I placed a finger on his lips to shush him.</p><p>“Don’t stay too long, I’ll be waiting for you at your place,” I told him quietly as his confusion turned to visible realisation. “See you in a while.” With a playful wink at him I sauntered off to say goodbye to the others whilst pocketing his key.</p><p>“Wait, you’re leaving?” Ray asked with a frown as Gavin tried to tug my arm to get me to sit back down. “Why so early? Geoff just ordered more drinks.”</p><p>Geoff had done that on purpose because he knew the plan and while he wasn’t going to be part of tonight directly, he was definitely helping me to get it to go smoothly. He was going to hold up Ryan just enough to give me maybe twenty minutes once I got to Ryan’s place to dash inside and set up before he arrived home.</p><p>“Yeah, Hanna needs me for something important,” I sighed as though I didn’t <em>want </em>to go but had to anyway. In reality I was feeling exhilarated due to my plans. “See you guys at work tomorrow!”</p><p>Climbing into Hanna’s little car outside and fastening my seatbelt, I noticed her smiling at me.</p><p>“That was quick.”</p><p>***</p><p>With a can of diet Coke placed every couple of inches from his front door over to the stairs, I placed one on each step leading up and then across to the bedroom in a clear ‘breadcrumb’ trail. I’d hidden everything in the back of his kitchen cupboards yesterday afternoon, doubting very much that he would find any of it within the space of one day. And I’d been right; it was all still there just as I’d left it, concealed in white plastic bags to camouflage it.</p><p>After placing the Cokes, I dashed upstairs with the rest of my supplies and noticed that he’d changed the bedsheets after the weekend’s activities. I folded the green duvet and pillows into a neat pile in the corner of the room before covering the mattress with the thin plastic sheet I’d bought, tucking it down underneath so it wouldn’t slide around. Then I placed the chocolate fudge sauce on the nightstand and went to quickly hop into the shower, but not before tying my hair up out of the way first. The incredible chocolate cake I’d bought for him and had written on myself was still downstairs in the cupboard. The only other thing I hadn’t brought upstairs with me was the ice cream, because it would probably melt too quickly.</p><p>My heart thudding as I dried off and glanced out of his window at the street below, I breathed a sigh of relief during my observation that he wasn’t home yet. Not bothering to put any clothing back on as I hung the towel up to dry on the bathroom door hook, I checked my phone to see a message from Ryan.</p><p>
  <em>‘I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’m on my way home.’</em>
</p><p>He had messaged me twenty minutes ago now while I’d been busy preparing, which meant I had very little time left. I switched out the lights both downstairs and in the bedroom, causing darkness to fall over the house before sitting by the window and waiting. Not five minutes later, he was pulling into his driveway and climbing out of his car after shutting off the engine. I backed away from the glass and knelt on the bed, listening intently and feeling a little gleeful.</p><p>I heard the front door clunk shut and saw, through the crack in the bedroom door, the downstairs hall light flick on. Then there was a pause before-</p><p>“What the…?”</p><p>His footsteps on the stairs as he followed soda trail and pushed open his bedroom door, switching on the light and stepping through into the room but stopping dead when he saw me. “Is this some kind of elaborate Hansel And Gretel roleplay?” he asked with a chuckle, biting his lower lip as he took in my nakedness.</p><p>“Well I don’t think you’ll want to eat your house, but you can eat me if you like,” I replied lightly as he raised an eyebrow, suddenly noticing the plastic sheet right before the bottle of chocolate fudge sauce on the nightstand.</p><p>“Oh you are just the best,” he grinned, approaching me and wrapping his arms around me tight as his lips attacked mine and we fell back on to the bed. “And <em>god </em>you smell good.”</p><p>The shower gel I’d bought and had just washed in – albeit quickly – was strawberry scented, which I’d specifically picked along with everything else because I knew he loved it. I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss a bit as he nipped my lower lip playfully.</p><p>“Good enough to eat?” I asked innocently and slightly breathlessly from the kiss, watching him as he kissed down to my collarbone.</p><p>“You are not subtle,” he smirked, reaching for the sauce and flipping open the cap. “But yeah, definitely.”</p><p>It was a little colder than I’d expected but his warm mouth was soon on my skin in contrast, licking the line of chocolate up from my belly button to my cleavage before he poured some more on to my breasts. He tossed his shirt aside to avoid ruining it before returning to sensually licking at my nipples, a glint in his eyes as he did so.</p><p>With a small moan, I ran a hand through his hair lovingly. “Good?”</p><p>Smirking, he playfully wriggled down and drizzled some of the chocolate on the inside of my parted thighs, licking dangerously close to my crotch as I squirmed slightly. “Oh yeah.”</p><p>I giggled. “There is one more thing.”</p><p>“Mhm?” His eyes hadn’t left mine.</p><p>“There’s vanilla ice cream downstairs in the freezer too.”</p><p>He paused and grinned, licking his lips. “Stay here.”</p><p>“As if I’d go anywhere,” I called with a laugh while he climbed off of me and left to fetch it. He returned with a fair amount of it in a bowl accompanied by a large spoon and placed it beside me before leaning back down to kiss me again. He tasted deliciously of chocolate.</p><p>“You’re still naughty for stealing from me and then lying about it,” he murmured against my lips, littering kisses along my collarbone and down to my abdomen.</p><p>“Shhh,” I giggled, watching him scoop up a little of the yellowish ice cream and tip it onto my middle. The cold shock was far more intense this time and I gasped loudly, but his warm mouth was there to relieve me of it once again as he smiled.</p><p>“I guess I can maybe forgive you though,” he continued softly, shuffling down to push my thighs apart more before applying another scoop of ice cream to the spot just above my crotch and watching it melt slowly south.</p><p>“Shit, that’s <em>freezing,</em>” I groaned while he took the opportunity to place his mouth over the small icy lump that had slid down over my clit.</p><p>The more we played, the colder his lips and tongue got which only taunted me more as he insisted on ever-so-slowly teasing me and using this against me. There was a smear of chocolate on his face and shoulder and as he traced a finger through a puddle of sauce on my breast, I realised that the plastic sheet had been one of the best practical ideas I’d had – this was getting messy.</p><p>“Hmm, I feel like you’re missing out,” he smiled before he sucked lightly on my coated nipple. “It’s <em>really </em>good…”</p><p>“I’m sure it is,” I smirked as I made to sit up and pushed him sideways to indicate he should get off of me. He obliged while I made him lay down and then began unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. He was easily as horny as I was if not more, so it was no real surprise when I discovered he was already hard while I stripped him, smirking and very deliberately pouring the fudge sauce all over his erection before sliding it into my mouth slowly as he watched.</p><p>“Mmmmmmm…” I hummed because the sauce <em>did </em>taste good, but this caused him to moan from the vibrations. Noticing this, I continued to do it intermittently as I worked on getting as much of him in my mouth and against the back of my throat as I could repeatedly before pulling it out and licking all the way up the shaft instead for a momentary break.</p><p>“Fucking hell you’re hot,” he groaned and reached for my hair, but he didn’t hold on to it. Instead, he ran his hand over it gently. “Do that again.”</p><p>“What, try to deepthroat you?” I grinned, but repeated it all the same while I repressed my gag reflex, feeling my airway get completely blocked off as I tried not to allow my throat to physically reject this action.</p><p>“Wait, wait.” He stroked over my tied-up hair again. “Let me stand up by the bed. Kneel in front of me, you’ll find it easier.”</p><p>He hadn’t said it with a tone of demand but I still did as I was told, looking up at him trustingly as he smiled down at me on my knees in front of him.</p><p>I tried again, this time at a far better angle for me to get his dick entirely into my mouth and slowly down the back of my throat while he moaned softly. I relaxed and held my breath before returning to sucking normally, repeating the deepthroating occasionally while he got increasingly more lustful. This had been entirely my will and idea but now that I’d encouraged him he was beginning to struggle not to move his hips a little, his desire to just fuck my face obvious.</p><p>I gripped his thighs while I continued, honestly not minding if that was the direction he wanted to take this as I yet again nearly choked myself on him and shuffled, feeling on the insides of my thighs how wet I’d become. I moaned around him again, feeling him reach to grip my hair now. Ahh, there it was: my submission. I welcomed it.</p><p>Blinking up and him and nodding while he smirked, he took over control as he decided now when I could breathe while he gently thrusted, his domination as usual only heightening my arousal while he used my mouth to pleasure himself and I complied. I was filthy, on my knees and still a little smeared with chocolate as he took charge and it was exactly what I’d yearned for when I’d first thought up this whole plan.</p><p>“On the bed,” he finally told me as he stopped, his voice rough with passion. Now <em>that </em>was a demanding tone.</p><p>I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and lay down as he straddled me immediately and pushed into me, thrusting like I might keel over dead if he didn’t fuck me hard enough. It was so <em>good</em> that I clawed at his back in response and with absolute lust, he leaned down to bite at my neck and shoulder while I moaned his name and gave myself over to him.</p><p>But even more than this, the angle he was fucking me at was rubbing me just right to actually be able to come if he kept it up. One hand in his soft hair and my other still scratching at him lightly, I whimpered as he claimed me.</p><p>“God, Ryan, I think I’m close,” I breathed, because it wasn’t taking much for me tonight considering I’d been horny for the last hour and a half at least in anticipation of this very moment.</p><p>“Good girl,” he replied breathlessly. “Come while I fuck you.”</p><p> My whimpering became louder at this as he once again kissed my neck and bit down alternatingly in different spots while he thrusted harder. I was getting so near to the edge and it was blissfully agonising, but then Ryan lifted his head enough to look me in the eyes with a filthy smirk on his face, intending to force me over it.</p><p>“Come on baby. Come for Daddy.”</p><p>That broke me. I hit my climax, a scream of his name leaving my lips as he watched me and fucked me through it, groaning himself as he felt me tighten considerably around him and push him into orgasm too while I writhed a little and swore.</p><p>He lay down beside me several seconds later, panting as I grinned and pushed a few strands of stray hair out of my face that had escaped my ponytail.</p><p>“Wow,” was all I could think to say as I sat up slowly, my body still pleasurably tingly.</p><p>“Yeah,” he sighed with a smile, reaching to stroke my thigh gently. “You’re the best.”</p><p>“Speak for yourself, Birthday boy.” I rolled sideways, the plastic beneath us crinkling. “Dessert was good, huh?”</p><p>With a chuckle, Ryan propped himself up on his arm. “Best I’ve ever had.” He paused for a moment but then I noticed him sit up and grab the bowl of remaining half-melted vanilla ice cream.</p><p>“I’m not wasting this, it’s great,” he smirked, finishing it and watching me as I shrugged and nodded.</p><p>“Fair enough but…you should know…there’s cake.”</p><p>“What? Where?” he asked, glancing around as though I might have hidden it somewhere in the bedroom. In hindsight, I probably could have.</p><p>“Downstairs,” I grinned.</p><p>“You’re serious, right?” he asked with a chuckle as he clinked the spoon back into the bowl. “Don’t hurt me like this.”</p><p>“Yes I’m serious, the cake isn’t a lie,” I laughed, referencing ‘Portal’. “And it’s double chocolate.”</p><p>He was off the bed in seconds and pulling on his navy boxer-briefs as I giggled and followed suit, sliding into my panties and pulling on my t-shirt as I trailed down to the kitchen after him. His eyes were adorably lit up like a child’s on Christmas Day as he foraged, wondering where I’d hidden it. I noticed that he’d scooped up a can of diet Coke on the way down, too.</p><p>“Bottom cupboard on the left,” I informed him as he finally found it, pulling out the white card box carefully and placing it atop the counter before opening the lid to reveal the most decadent chocolate cake I could find. Upon it, I’d carefully (but not very skilfully, I had very little practice) iced the words, ‘Happy Birthday Ryan’ with a heart and some kisses underneath.</p><p>His gaze returned to me as he enveloped me in a cuddle. “Aww, thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” I answered, my reply muffled against his chest as he squeezed me and then turned to pull open a drawer to find a knife to cut the cake with.</p><p>“Want some?” he offered, digging out some clean plates and sliding a decent-sized slice onto one of them for himself before looking at me questioningly.</p><p>“Definitely,” I giggled, so he cut me a bit too and we ate like kids at his kitchen table with our fingers, both winding up with frosting on our faces and cracking open two of the many cans of diet Coke with a hiss. “You really do actually like the ‘Daddy’ thing, huh?”</p><p>He licked icing off of his fingers before replying. “Occasionally.”</p><p>I tilted my head a little. “Occasionally?”</p><p>“At certain times…like in the bedroom…” he replied, taking another big bite of cake and not meeting my eyes. “But don’t use it outside of there, okay?”</p><p>I nodded a little, trying to understand where he was coming from. “Too weird?”</p><p>“A little, because…” he still wasn’t looking at me. “When <em>you</em> call me it, I’m thinking of <em>you</em> sexually. But you have to understand that I am actually a father of two very little kids, and…”</p><p>It clicked with me, finally, what he was trying to say. In context, during sexual activity with me, he found it hot because he had detached somewhat. But at any other time casually, it was what he was – in a very different way – to his children. Those two situations in his mind and mine were totally separate, meaning that he didn’t want me using the nickname in day-to-day life.</p><p>“Got it,” I smiled. “Fair enough. By the way…”</p><p>His met mine then, questioningly as I took another bite of cake.</p><p>“It’s entirely possible that Jack and Gavin know about the poly part of our relationship now, so they both know I’m with you and Geoff. Oh and also Trevor and Jeremy know everything too, because they were there when they all found out about that news article.”</p><p>Ryan’s jaw dropped open a little.</p><p>“I just wanted to be honest finally, because I didn’t want to lie when they asked if the relationship speculation was true or not,” I admitted, sighing. “And they all took it <em>way </em>better than I’d imagined.”</p><p>“Thank fuck,” Ryan grinned, shaking his head a little. “I never thought they wouldn’t take it okay, but you planted that seed of doubt so I kept it quiet for you.”</p><p>“Yeah I know, sorry about that.” I sheepishly shrugged and broke off some more of my cake slice with my fingers. “Jack especially was lovely about it.”</p><p>Ryan smirked then. “If Jack knew exactly what I actually do to you sometimes, he’d be horrified.”</p><p>Playfully, I flicked a crumb at him. “If any of them knew how much I enjoyed what you do to me sometimes, they’d <em>all</em> be horrified.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Gossip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. The rumours are really beginning to affect you. Michael provides some comfort in his own way. Jeremy goes with you to get your stitches out.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Curiosity had gotten the better of me. I knew it was a terrible idea, knew that it could be damaging, but I had to <em>see. </em>And because of the fact that I was surrounded by such talented creators and actors, I was never usually the one solely in the spotlight. But this morning on Reddit, I was. Having woken up and being unable to get back to sleep, my hand had sought my phone and some stupid part of my brain had whispered, ‘check the internet’.</p><p>Under a post titled ‘[Y/N]’s Hospital Admission ETC’ were some of the most targeted and mean-spirited comments along with a couple of people defending me but getting trodden down fast.</p><p>
  <em>‘What’s her plan, anyway? To fuck her way to the top? She’s definitely with one of them.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Nothing’s even confirmed, man. Leave her alone.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘She’s definitely fucking one of them, why else would they be there with her?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hope she recovers soon.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘That’s if she was really hurt, I don’t believe it. Attention whore.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Never liked her in vids anyway, shame she was found.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘If she really is dating one of them that explains the favouritism.’ </em>
</p><p>And on and on and on it went as I scrolled, for some reason compelled to read every comment as though addicted to the sick feeling of the metaphorical knife twisting in my gut. It was screwed up and I needed to stop.</p><p>
  <em>‘Look at this pic of her and Ryan though, definitely a couple.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘He wouldn’t go for her, she’s not his type. She’s not even pretty.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I mean we don’t know what his ex-wife looks like, maybe she’s exactly his type.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘IDK I think he’d go for someone more attractive, she’s kind of fat.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You could say they’re a couple from that pic but I think it’s too obvious. What about the rumours that she recovered from being shot at Geoff’s house?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Geoff probably shot her, she’s annoying AF.’</em>
</p><p>Beside me, Ryan sleepily rolled over and opened his eyes a little to see why I was looking at my phone as I lay on my back in bed, the light of the screen having partially woken him up.</p><p>“What’re you doing?” he mumbled, checking the time on his own phone. “It’s five in the morning.”</p><p>“I know,” I replied quietly, still swiping downwards as I continued to read the hateful comments. Anxiety was eating a hole in the pit of my hollow stomach as I did so, with each comment more accusatory and worse than the last. “I wanted to see what the community were saying about me.”</p><p>He seemed to wake up a little bit more then. “Put your phone down.”</p><p>“I will in a minute,” I sighed, dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep despite not being tired. It was funny how exhaustion and tiredness could be two separate things that did not always go hand in hand; my body wanted to rest but my brain wouldn’t shut up until I’d browsed the entirety of the sub-Reddit.</p><p>“No, put it down <em>now</em>,” he told me more firmly. “Stop doom-scrolling, it’s not going to help. It’s never a good idea.”</p><p>I hesitated, knowing he was right. I’d been telling myself the same thing for the last hour, but I couldn’t <em>stop.</em></p><p>“Ry?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“D’you think I’m pretty?” I sounded disgustingly insecure right now, but that’s because I was feeling it. I glanced sideways at him to see that he was gazing across at me by the light of my phone’s display.</p><p>It made me jump a little but he suddenly took my phone right out of my hands and rolled away from me  to place it on his nightstand where I couldn’t reach it.</p><p>“Ryan!” I whined as he rolled back towards me.</p><p>“You wanna know what I think?” he asked softly, enveloping me in his arms. “I think you’re fucking gorgeous. You shouldn’t be reading that crap, it’s just going to upset you. Why <em>were </em>you reading it, anyway?”</p><p>I felt him nuzzle my neck a little as his hand stroked along my bare side gently under the duvet. “I don’t know. I just…felt like I needed to know what was being said about me. I never normally care enough to look, but…”</p><p>With a single kiss on the side of my neck, he merely sighed. “Resist it. I know it’s hard but you’ll be much happier.”</p><p>He was right in some ways but on the other hand I’d never been in the public eye in such a negative light before, aside from those select few that would always dislike me no-matter-what and try to make themselves heard regardless, but they never really ever gained that much traction. I did need to rise above and ignore it all though. I needed to be content with the way that I knew the facts and that was what was important, not what people were speculating. And most importantly, I needed to go to sleep.</p><p>I felt bad for accidently waking Ryan up, but he had at least helped me to put things in perspective a little. Who cared if somebody out there thought I was an ‘attention whore’ or was trying to ‘fuck my way to the top’. The truth was that I wasn’t – that should have been good enough. But I still lay there, eyes wide open as my brain gave me a slideshow of everything I’d read while I failed to fall back into a slumber.</p><p>In the following week I did my best to stay off of social media on purpose for the sake of my own mental health. Every time I felt myself itching to check it, I thought of the way Ryan had reassured me I’d be much happier without it and my impulse dissipated. It was a constant battle that weighed on my mind though, earning me a few worried looks when people noticed I wasn’t quite my usual self.</p><p>Walking from the food truck outside back through to the kitchen area on Friday dinnertime, I sat down at a table fully intending to watch an episode of a medical drama that had hooked me recently on my phone. Not only would this distract me from overthinking but it would also prevent me from multi-tasking since the show would take up the entire screen, disallowing me from checking Twitter or Reddit. So I ate my food and popped in an earbud, plugging the other end of the wire into the headphone jack on my device before settling in.</p><p>Ten minutes passed in relative peace before one of my closest friends, Barbara, plonked herself down directly in front of me.</p><p>“Dude.”</p><p>I looked up at her, pausing my show. “Hey.”</p><p>“Dude,” she repeated, staring at me with her eyes wide as she clutched her paper coffee cup. “Are you gonna tell me what the heck’s going on with you? Are you okay?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” I lied.</p><p>“Oh come on.” She gave me a very small smile before tilting her head a little in apparent sympathy. “Reddit, Twitter and Youtube won’t shut up about you. I’m worried about you.”</p><p>Of course I had told her about last weekend when my sister’s psychotic ex-fiancée had dragged me off to a storage unit in the middle of nowhere in order to force me to tell him where Hanna was. I’d told her about the hospital visit because of the stitches I’d needed and she’d hugged me and told me she was here for me if I needed her.</p><p>“Youtube as well now?” I groaned, picturing people making speculation videos as well as posts now. “For fuck’s sake.”</p><p>“You’re not letting it get to you, right?” she asked, sounding concerned as she observed me from across the table before taking a sip of her coffee.</p><p>I put my head in my arms tiredly, not wanting to admit that I’d barely been sleeping lately. “Kinda.” I felt a hand on my arm.</p><p>“Look, people can be horrible. Don’t let them hurt you,” she comforted me. “You know the drill with the internet: it’s a fickle beast. One minute they’ll be lovely and supportive and the next they’ll turn on you. But this will fade in time, like everything does. People will get bored of guessing about your love life and will go back to other stuff.”</p><p>I lifted my head enough to gaze at her, still feeling a little defeated. “I hope so. My life really isn’t that interesting.”</p><p>“They will, trust me,” she nodded. “Although…if you feel like telling me if you’re actually dating Ryan or Geoff…I have a casual bet going with Steffie.” She paused with an infectious grin that made me want to smile too.</p><p>“You guys are betting on whether I’m dating Ryan Haywood or Geoff Ramsey?” I asked with a roll of my eyes because I didn’t know whether to be annoyed by this or amused by it. “Who did you bet on?”</p><p>“Me? Oh Ryan all the way, he’s charming and good-looking, right?” she said with apparent certainty. “If you’re not dating either of them though, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Hesitating, I simply blinked at her. “What does Steffie think?”</p><p>“She thinks Geoff because she reckons you’re a tattoo kinda girl,” Barbara shrugged. “Especially since he went with you to get your first.”</p><p>“Is anyone else making bets?” I sighed, stirring my yogurt pot with my spoon. This was getting way out of control.</p><p>“Uh…well…there’s…” she paused. “I’m not saying this to hurt you, but none of us knew you were taking this so hard. But there are three pools going – Geoff, Ryan or neither.”</p><p>I took a moment to absorb this. “So the entire staff are pooling bets into who I’m dating? Why does everyone care?”</p><p>“It’s not the whole staff,” Barbara smiled reassuringly. “Just Steffie and me. And Jon Risinger; he thinks you’re with Ryan. And Ashley and Gus think it’s Geoff. Oh and Miles and Kerry-“</p><p>“Okay, okay!” I put my hand up to stop her. “I get it. A fair amount of people that I know, right. Maybe I should just stand up in front of Stage Five and make a goddamn statement.”</p><p>“Honestly, it’s not that people care deeply. It’s more that it’s a fun thing for them to do,” she said quietly to me. “And like I said, I really don’t think they all realise how much this is affecting you. You should tell them.”</p><p>For some reason I was split between finding this funny from an objective point of view and stressful from a personal point of view, because while the stuff online had been mostly negative, I now at least had far more confidence that people I worked with wouldn’t harbour ill will towards us after the way that Jeremy, Trevor, Gavin and Jack had reacted, along with Lindsay, Michael and Ray previously.</p><p>“Please tell me,” Barbara grinned. “It’s Ryan, right?”</p><p>“Look, I’ll tell you because we’re good friends but do me a favour and don’t tell everybody, got it?” I pressed a hand to my forehead, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “None of those betting options are technically correct.”</p><p>“What? Why?” she asked, confusion spreading across her face. “Those are the three possibilities, right? You’re with Ryan or you’re with Geoff. Or you’re not with either of them, which covers if you’re single or with someone else entirely.”</p><p>“Or,” I said very quietly, looking her in the eyes, “I’m with both of them because it’s a polyamorous relationship.”</p><p>There was a moment where her jaw dropped in obvious shock and she said absolutely nothing, but I was getting a headache. Standing up and walking towards the storage closet that I had been using more and more this week to sit in alone and in the dark to calm my anxiety, I heard Barbara stand up from the table behind me.</p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>I didn’t wait, I kept going around the corner and down the corridor until I reached the familiar door leading to the small storage room that I’d had my first threesome in months ago. I shut the door behind me, leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor as I sighed into the pitch blackness. I was even the talk of the people I knew personally. I just had to hope and pray that they would still respect me as a fellow colleague and friend.</p><p>Quietly, I sat there and watched some more of the drama show on my phone before I was interrupted yet again by somebody unexpectedly pushing the closet door open and unpleasantly flooding the room with light.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing in here?” Michael was peering into the room at me as I sat on the floor in front of him surrounded by set pieces and an old desk. “I saw you walk in here five minutes ago but you didn’t come out.”</p><p>I really should have locked the goddamn door.</p><p>“I just wanted to be alone,” I told him straight, but he just folded this arms and continued to stand there.</p><p>“What’s up with you?”</p><p>“Nothing.” I was getting bored of people asking me this and even more bored of replying with that answer.</p><p>“Don’t bullshit me,” he replied, his gaze steady. “Your spark has gone this week. Is it the shock? Because if you need time off work, just talk to-”</p><p>“I don’t need time off,” I gritted my teeth a little. “I need distractions. I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to be able to fucking not think about how people are berating me and belittling me for two seconds online. I need to get back my self-confidence because it’s being eaten away at by that stupid bullshit article creating endless rumours and conversations on social media.”</p><p>With a pause, Michael stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. I heard him sit down on the floor with his back against it, opposite me. “To be fair, it’s not total bullshit if you’re actually <em>with</em> Geoff and Ryan.”</p><p>I lowered my head into my hands. “I know, but people are saying-“</p><p>“Who gives a flying fuck what people are saying?” Michael interrupted me. “People are assholes! I know I say that all the time, but it’s true!”</p><p>“Michael, people are saying I’m not good enough for them.” I clenched my fists because I’d honestly never felt quite good enough for the two incredible men I was fortunate enough to have love me. This was just adding salt to that wound. “What if they’re right?”</p><p>In true form and never one to beat around the bush, Michael groaned in audible frustration. “So what if they say that? You said you love them, you said they love you back, you’re all happy – what’s the fucking problem? Ignore what other people say, they’re just cunts.”</p><p>I tucked my phone into my hoodie pocket.</p><p>“Did you know there’s a betting pool going on in the company about who I’m dating?” I laughed wryly, tears in my eyes as I nibbled on a fingernail.</p><p> “Yeah, I told them to fucking stop and Geoff went mad at Kerry earlier for telling someone about it,” he responded. “I think he was hoping you wouldn’t find out.”</p><p>I sniffed, shaking my head. “Barb told me about it, but to be fair to her, she was worried. She doesn’t think they understand how all of this is getting to me.”</p><p>“Why are you letting it get to you?” Michael asked me outright, shuffling a little on the hard floor. “You’re normally pretty resilient. Shit gets said about us all, most of the time. You don’t normally care.”</p><p>I nodded, even though we couldn’t see one another. “I made the bad mistake of looking for it.”</p><p>“That was pretty fucking stupid.”</p><p>I agreed.</p><p>“Why did I have to fall for my boss and co-worker?” I tilted my head back until it tapped the wall behind me gently, resting it there as I stared upwards into the darkness. “Why couldn’t I just have a nice, normal relationship with someone outside of the company that nobody cares about?”</p><p>“Y’know what how you’re feeling reminds me of a little?” he asked me quietly and when I didn’t answer, he continued. “When Lindsay and I got together years ago. There were <em>tons </em>of comments about her only doing it to further her career within the company, especially since she wasn’t part of our main seven at the time so they saw her as ‘below’ us. Everything was negative towards her because <em>surely </em>she was only seeing me to get ahead, right? Nobody could honestly put up with dating loud, angry and immature Michael Jones, right?”</p><p>Having been so wrapped up in how I felt, I’d selfishly forgotten this. She had faced a lot of criticism from the masses at the time and although it had been on a lesser scale, it had still visibly hurt her for a while before she had built up her armour and stopped letting it affect her. I remembered how she’d told me back then, “They can only hurt you if you give them the power to.”.</p><p>“You have a lot of nice qualities,” I laughed a little at his self-depreciation, even though my cheeks were wet. “Sure you can be an asshole sometimes, but you’re also very loyal and sweet sometimes too.”</p><p>“Yeah, but people don’t see that,” he sighed heavily. “All they saw at that point was a ‘nobody’ support-room girl dating a guy in Achievement Hunter who’s in loads of videos,” he replied. “And that’s what they’re doing now with you too; ‘she’s dating her boss so it can only be because he’s her boss’. There’s a stigma, but like I said before, fuck them. We all know what the real deal is. You can fight through this.”</p><p>He was right, I knew it deep down. The more I <em>let</em> it affect me the more it would, like snake bites hitting you with every comment read and the poison seeping slowly through every part of your body as you recalled them repeatedly. I needed to just put up my defences and take the damn antidote. And stop looking for new snakes to bite me.</p><p>“Michael?” I said after a minute of thought.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Thanks. You’re great,” I smiled, wiping my eyes on my hoodie sleeve.</p><p>There was a scuffle opposite me as Michael got to his feet and opened the door, allowing the light to stream into the room again and causing me to squint because my eyes had adjusted to the pitch black.</p><p>“You’re great too,” he said firmly before leaving and shutting the door behind him.</p><p>***</p><p>“These cuts are healing nicely,” the nurse beamed as he removed my arm stitches. Of course I had been worried about this but it turned out to not be nearly so bad as having them sewn in the first place. He hadn’t even given me any local anaesthetic but it turned out that I didn’t need it, because all I felt when he gripped the threads and gently pulled was an odd sort of tugging sensation with no actual pain.</p><p>“That’s really cool,” Jeremy commented, watching the process as I looked away. “Medicine’s come so far but we’re still just sewing people up, huh?”</p><p>I’d needed someone to give me a lift to the hospital this late afternoon. Well, I could have gotten an Uber so more accurately, I’d needed some moral support at said hospital and with Geoff and Ryan both too busy and Hanna at work, I’d had to ask around outside of that bubble. That wasn’t to say that I wasn’t totally valuing my current company right about now.</p><p>“Wow, they must have bled a lot,” he was saying, watching the nurse pull out another stitch. “Y’know, at the time. When you got them. Good thing you weren’t in the middle of a field in the army, right? They might’ve had to <em>glue</em> your wounds shut or something.”</p><p>“J?” I said, clutching at his arm and giving him a meaningful look. “Please shut up.”</p><p>“Sorry,” he laughed sheepishly, going quiet as the nurse smiled sympathetically at me, probably wondering why I’d brought him along.</p><p>After the nurse had finished and said that I was good to go we headed down the hospital corridor for the public elevator, with three other people stepping into it too beside us as we all pushed our floor buttons.</p><p>“I was thinking about getting a Spyro tatt,” Jeremy said, breaking his extremely brief silence, “on my leg or something.”</p><p>“That sounds cool,” I nodded. The cartoony purple dragon would definitely make a cute, colourful tattoo. "You could have him looking all badass.”</p><p>Jeremy grinned. “Hell yeah. Hey, d’you think-”</p><p>The elevator shuddered to an abrupt stop, causing all of us to stumble and nearly fall down as we were plunged into a couple of seconds’ darkness and an eerie silence washed over us. Then the emergency lighting flickered on. Across from us, three strangers stared at us in as much shock as we were staring at them in – a middle-aged extremely overweight man, a woman that looked to be in her late thirties and a small kid that was obviously her son, clinging to her leg.</p><p>“Mom, what’s happening?” he asked, gazing up at her with fear on his face.</p><p>“I don’t know honey, the elevator’s stopped. Why has the elevator stopped?” she asked aloud, though none of us could answer her.</p><p>“Oh great, that’s just <em>great,</em>” huffed the huge man, reaching past me to press the emergency button, but nothing happened. Then he reached to press the phone button, which connected through after a few moments. “Hey, we’re all stuck here, why the hell’s the power gone out in a damn hospital?”</p><p>The intercom buzzed slightly as a male voice issued from it. <em>“Sir, we are running on backup power at the moment but we will get a technician to you shortly. How many people are in there with you?”</em></p><p>“Uh…” he glanced around quickly. “Me and four others. Is this gonna take long? I’ve got a dinner date with my wife.”</p><p><em>“It’ll take as long as it takes, Sir, but they’ll try their best to get to you all as quickly as possible,” </em>the man on the intercom replied.</p><p>“Great. Just <em>great,</em>” the overweight man repeated, standing back against the wall again as he checked his watch. “If I don’t make dinner, my wife’ll kill me. She’s cooking.”</p><p>“Aw, that’s sweet,” I offered, thinking that as long as we were all stuck in here together we might as well make conversation. “What’s she making?”</p><p>The man eyed me a little irritably before replying. “Brisket.”</p><p>“Oh, that sounds great,” I replied as I glanced over at the woman with her son. They were both as dark-haired as one another and he looked to be about eight or so. “Hey, what’s your name, kid?”</p><p>With a nervous look up at his mother for permission to speak to me as a stranger first, the boy finally spoke. “Justin.”</p><p>“I’m Anika,” his mother told us, her dark eyes friendly. “We only came here to get Justin’s blood taken for tests.”</p><p>“I only came to get stitches out. This year really isn’t a good year for me, right J?” I sighed, rolling my eyes. I glanced sideways but Jeremy had sat down on the floor cross-legged and was taking clear, deliberate deep breaths. “Hey, are you alright?”</p><p>“Uh huh,” he replied, not looking at me and closing his eyes. “I’m just a little claustrophobic. No big deal. I’m just trapped in an elevator. A tiny box. With no way to know how long for.”</p><p>I stared at him; I had never known this about him before. Justin sat down too, his eyes welling up with tears.</p><p>Wonderful.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Confidence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You decide you’ve had enough of feeling like a victim thanks to the encouragement of your colleagues and make a change to your appearance. Geoff <i>really</i> likes your new skirt.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning – about halfway down</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I sat down on the floor beside Jeremy, crossing my legs too. “Hey, it won’t be too long. Nobody needs to start getting upset.”</p><p>“I’m not upset,” Jeremy replied, his eyes still closed as he locked his hands together and took another deep breath. “I’m just dealing.”</p><p>The overweight man groaned and sat down with us followed by Anika, Justin’s mother. There was no point in standing around for potentially an hour or more and killing our legs. Sure, it wasn’t the cleanest place to sit in a hospital but when you were short on options the floor would have to do.</p><p>“I was talking to Justin,” I whispered in response to Jeremy as the kid gazed at me with watery eyes. “Hey, what’s your favourite cartoon?”</p><p>The eight year-old looked miserable, but he did at least answer. “Pokémon.”</p><p>The middle-aged man was trying to make a phone call now, but the signal in our current location was basically non-existent. I could hear the beeping as the connection failed to go through repeatedly, causing him to frustratedly give up for the time being and throw up his hands in annoyance.</p><p>“We like Pokemon too, right J?” I prompted him, thinking that maybe I could distract the two of them at once if they got into conversation.</p><p>“He’s always watching it and playing the games,” Anika smiled fondly as she put her arm around her son. “I tell him to do his homework and he’ll be like, ‘just one more battle, Mom!’”</p><p>I laughed a little.</p><p>“What game are you playing right now?” Jeremy asked very quietly, but Justin still heard him. His young dark brown eyes brightened at our interest in what was obviously his favourite subject and perked up a bit.</p><p>“Mega Ruby,” he replied, not waiting for us to correct him because it was actually called ‘Omega Ruby’. “I just caught Groudon.”</p><p>“Wow!” I grinned encouragingly at his capture of the legendary creature. “What starter Pokémon did you pick?”</p><p>“The bird one,” Justin replied. “He can fire kick stuff! He’s the best. What did you pick?”</p><p>“Mudkip,” I answered him. “I like the water types.”</p><p>This trail of conversation went on for a while, with Justin noticeably cheering up and his mother chipping in occasionally when he excitedly told us about events he’d seen online that he wanted to attend, like tournaments. It was adorable having such an animated kid in our midst while the man on my right – named Paul, we found out – looked bored and was obviously trying to tune us all out.</p><p>I checked my phone but I didn’t have any signal either, though I could connect to the hospital’s Wifi network. I created a free guest account and accepted their terms and conditions before hopping on to a messaging service that used the internet rather than data.</p><p><em>‘Stuck in an elevator at the hospital with J Doolz. Life couldn’t possibly get any better.’ </em>I hit ‘send’ at Geoff.</p><p>Paul saw me tapping away. “Can you ring nine-one-one?” he asked. “Tell them we need to get out of here.”</p><p>I glanced at him, trying to be patient. “They said the technician will be here as soon as they can be. We don’t need to waste the time of the emergency services.”</p><p>With a groan Paul shook his head, coughing a little wheezily. “I can’t just sit in here all damned day!”</p><p>“None of us wanna be here, man,” Jeremy told him a little uncharacteristically irritably. “But we just have to wait.”</p><p>My phone buzzed, so I checked for messages.</p><p><em>‘Fuck. Are you both okay?’ </em>Geoff had replied.</p><p><em>‘Yeah, just sitting patiently for the repair guy.’ </em>I sent a message back.</p><p>“I told you that you’re cursed,” Jeremy said pointedly to me, his voice low.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry about that,” I grinned, nudging him playfully as he nudged me back harder. This turned in a small playfight of us pushing each other in turn before finally we fell about laughing while Paul stared at us like we were crazy. “At least I’m a cursed badass though, right? I mean, you said it yourself.”</p><p>“Right, you definitely are,” Jeremy nodded. “Oh…” His eyes flicked over to Anika who looked surprised at my language as Justin giggled.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” I sheepishly said, blushing a little as I stared at the eight year-old in our midst because his mother was clearly not okay with what I’d just said. “Don’t repeat that, kid.”</p><p>“Yes, <em>don’t</em>,” Anika reinforced to her son sharply, which made his grin fade fast. It was interesting, because we had all gotten so used to being able to swear around Geoff’s daughter Millie, given that she knew not to repeat it and neither Griffon nor Geoff really had an issue with her hearing the words necessarily because it was ‘a part of life’. That and the word ‘badass’ wasn’t really swearing.</p><p>Paul coughed wheezily again, clearing his throat. “What are you here for, then?” he asked me directly.</p><p>“Removal of stitches in my arm,” I shrugged. “What about you?”</p><p>“Asthma,” he replied, patting his huge belly. “Doc says I need to eat better, it’ll help my breathing if I lose some weight. I can’t help it if I just love food though, right?”</p><p>My phone buzzed again – another message from Geoff.</p><p>
  <em>‘Shame you don’t have me there to keep you company.’</em>
</p><p>With a sly grin, I imagined what he meant by that as my brain jumped to all sorts of conclusions but then quickly snapped back to reality.</p><p><em>‘There are three other strangers in here and one of them is a kid,’ </em>I typed, <em>‘so nothing would be going on anyway.’</em></p><p>Jeremy shuffled beside me and sighed as he rested his chin on his palm, his elbow resting on his knee. Geoff’s reply was pretty quick this time, giving me the impression that he was actively checking his phone now.</p><p>
  <em>‘That wasn’t what I meant but now I know where your mind’s at…’ </em>
</p><p>Biting my lip with my cheeks becoming a little heated as I realised I had jumped straight to dirty thoughts, I merely posted an angel emoji back.</p><p>Paul reached for the phone intercom button on the elevator again. “Can you tell them to hurry this up? I need to get outta here.”</p><p><em>“Sir, we are trying our best to arrange help to get to you as soon as possible. Please sit tight,” </em>the calm voice replied back.</p><p>Rolling his eyes yet again, Paul just tapped his leg impatiently where he sat as though this would make the time pass faster.</p><p>“Dammit I need a beer,” Jeremy said softly from beside me as he too checked his phone. “I hate elevators.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you insist on the stairs?” I inquired curiously, because I wouldn’t have minded if he’d asked.</p><p>“I can deal for a couple of seconds between floors,” he replied, opening up some mobile game on his phone to entertain himself. “Oh, I uh…heard about the bet going around, by the way. The one involving you.”</p><p>“It seems like everyone’s heard of it,” I said wryly with a roll of my eyes. “Michael told me I shouldn’t let it get to me. I <em>was</em> letting it get to me, thinking I’m not good enough or something.”</p><p>“Yeah, you absolutely shouldn’t,” Jeremy replied with a shrug as his eyes met mine. “A lot of people would kill to be in our position; I know I would’ve before Matt and I were hired. If people don’t think you’re good enough or whatever, that’s their problem, because it’s not true.”</p><p>I nodded. The more that people I cared about told me this, the more I was starting to actually believe it despite my insecurities. Maybe a confidence boost could help motivate me to feel better about myself and I had just the thing in mind all of a sudden.</p><p>It had been roughly half an hour as the silences between any of us speaking got increasingly larger, our will to make conversation fading while we all waited, some more patiently than others. It was funny to me how Justin, an eight year-old boy, could have more understanding that we just needed to sit tight and wait than a grown man who wouldn’t stop pestering the person on the other end of the emergency call button.</p><p>“Can you stop doing that?” Anika demanded when he’d stood up yet again to use it, huffing and puffing about being late home for dinner. “It’s not helping. Sit down.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me what to do,” Paul replied irritably, after having bugged the poor guy on the other end.</p><p>“She’s right,” I added, watching him groan and sit back down again heavily, wheezing a little more.</p><p>“Sit up straight,” Anika told him, to our surprise. Her dark eyes were sharp and observant. “It’ll help with your asthma. Do you have an inhaler?”</p><p>“It’s in my car,” Paul answered typically, every breath now seeming to be more laboured. “My chest feels kinda tight.”</p><p>“Try to keep your breathing regular,” she added, watching him as he shifted to do as she’d said. “And stay calm.”</p><p>“Are you in medicine?” I asked her curiously, thinking that with her general persona and ability to handle this situation so well that she had potential to be.</p><p>She laughed. “No, my sister suffers with asthma. I know the drill, is all.”</p><p>Another ten minutes passed and with a sudden judder, the elevator suddenly lit up properly and whirred back to life as it continued down to the ground floor as it had before the power outage. Relief could not have been clearer on all of our faces as we scrambled to our feet, eager to leave the tiny metal box we’d been sitting in for considerably longer than had been desirable.</p><p>“Thank god,” Jeremy grinned, breathing in the fresh air of the parking lot as we traipsed across to his car. “D’you want me to drop you off at home?”</p><p>Thoughtfully, I paused as an impulsive feeling gripped me. This confidence boost I’d thought about in the elevator…I could do it right now.</p><p>***</p><p>I sat before the mirror in the salon, my long brown wavy hair that usually hung halfway down my back being cut off in huge chunks by the male hairdresser behind me until I was left with what was going to be a pretty awesome pixie cut. I was also no longer going to be brunette either, as he chopped and then applied the dye to my head before leaving me under a heater for a while for it to set.</p><p>Following that, he washed it out thoroughly and blow-dried it briefly, adding a little flair to my new sweeping fringe as I admired my new look in my reflection. It was the colour of copper; a sort of light bronze-brown that surprisingly suited me quite well. Once I’d thanked him and paid, I left to head into some nearby clothing shops for new jeans, new skirts, new casual dresses, new tops. I had made the decision that if I was going to be the centre of attention like I currently was, then fuck it: I was going to <em>own </em>it.</p><p>I’d left work early for my hospital appointment, meaning that there were still plenty of people in the building as I strolled confidently back in, smelling of salon shampoo and looking – frankly – pretty damn hot. I’d changed and was wearing shiny black flats, thigh-high thin black socks, a high-waisted short red pleated skirt that didn’t quite reach my knees and a long-sleeved white tank top tucked smoothly into my waistband.</p><p>For a moment the security didn’t recognise me but then waved me in, to which I smiled and sauntered across to the Achievement Hunter office where I knew that some of the other guys would still be. Without making a big deal and without any of them really noticing my return right away, I sat down at my desk and switched on my computer. Ryan and Gavin were absent but the others glanced across at me in brief acknowledgement before doing an immediate double-take.</p><p>“Holy shit,” Michael grinned, making no bones about the fact that he was looking me up and down where I sat. “What happened to you?”</p><p>“Whoa, your hair!” Ray remarked.</p><p>“I’m making a point of not letting shit get to me any more,” I said firmly by way of explanation. “This is the new, more confident me. This is the me that’s saying ‘fuck you’ to the haters. And after being stuck in an elevator for an hour, I’ve had time to think about it.”</p><p>Approvingly, Geoff nodded. “Good.”</p><p>I turned to see that he was smiling a little, not taking his eyes off of me as he checked out my new, more brazen style.</p><p>“We heard about the elevator,” Ray laughed good-naturedly. “Have fun in there with Lil’ J?”</p><p>“We did alright,” I replied, shrugging and getting on with some video editing as I revelled in the fresh feeling of resilience with the support of my friends.</p><p>“Want a lift home?” Geoff offered sometime later as we finished up for the day. When I glanced at him, he smirked a little. “And by ‘home’, I mean my home.”</p><p>Raising my eyebrows, I cast him an amused smile as Michael snorted at his lack of subtlety. “Sure.”</p><p>“Somebody’s gonna get some,” Ray said in a sing-song voice as Jack laughed while he picked up his jacket.</p><p>With my boosted confidence, I grinned at them as the pair of us left the room and said something I never previously would have said, because it implied a certain amount of cockiness. “Yeah. Lucky Geoff, right?”</p><p>Despite being December, the air outside was only a little cold at around 51 degrees F/10.5 degrees C as the sun set. We climbed into the car and I noticed the smile on Geoff’s face while he started the engine.</p><p>“Ryan’s going to be so mad he missed you in a short skirt,” he chuckled quietly once we were in his car and pulling out of the parking lot. “You look sexy as fuck. I’m tempted to fuckin’ call him just wind him up. He had to go home early to pick up his kids because he has them tonight and tomorrow.”</p><p>I giggled, looking out of the window as he drove us to his place across town. “Don’t, he’ll definitely punish me the next time he sees me if we call him and I leave him wanting. I’ve teased him before in the office where he couldn’t have me and he spanked me when we got to his place…”</p><p>Smirking sideways at me briefly before averting his eyes back to the road, Geoff laughed. “Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy that.”</p><p>“If it weren’t for the fact that I’m always so afraid of them somehow leaking onto the internet, I’d send him suggestive photos too,” I grinned as Geoff flicked his turn signal. “If I roll this skirt up a little at the waist, I can make it <em>really</em> damn short.”</p><p>“I think he’d call in a babysitter and drive over if you did that, but I want you to myself tonight,” Geoff smiled as we stopped at some lights. “He got you for his birthday. What do you want to eat, by the way? I’m fuckin’ starving.”</p><p>“How about cheeseburgers from that place nearby? The one we all ate at a while back?” I suggested, my mouth already watering at the memory. The meat was thick and juicy and the relish they used was like no other. With absolutely no convincing needed, I noticed Geoff divert to take me up on the idea as we picked up burgers and fries to take back with us.</p><p>As we ate with the television on in the background, I noticed more than once that when I left the sofa for something from the kitchen or to visit the bathroom, his eyes would follow me consistently until I was out of his sight. Coyly after finishing my food, I wiped my hands on some napkins and sat back down beside him after the third time of this happening, unable to resist addressing it.</p><p>“Like the skirt?” I asked lightly as he immediately looked sheepish and deliberately looked away.</p><p>“Yeah.” He cleared his throat a little and hesitated. “Y’know when you asked me recently what turns me on?”</p><p>Oh I remembered - it had been followed by us climbing into the shower together.</p><p>“Yes…” I watched him as he grinned, looked down at his lap and a hand went to the back of his head as it often did when he was admitting something potentially embarrassing or personal.</p><p>“You’ve got kind of a…school girl thing going on right now,” he said, finally looking at me. “And it’s pretty fuckin’ hot.”</p><p>“Ohhhh,” I smiled in realisation, throwing the napkins down on to the coffee table and kicking off my flats before kneeling up and boldly straddling him where he was sitting. “No wonder buying that paddle was your idea.”</p><p>His eyes met mine then, a twinkle in them as his warm hands went to the sides of my thighs. “I like this newfound confidence.”</p><p>I tilted my head to the side curiously, shifting my hips a little bit to rub against his crotch slowly with a naughty smile. “Really, <em>Sir?” </em></p><p>A smirk was pulling at the corner of his mouth as he reached up to pull my turtleneck jumper out of my waistband before yanking it upwards and off over my head with my help while I reached to do the same with his t-shirt. I stood up to shuffle out of my panties too, doing what I’d mentioned earlier with my skirt and rolling it up at the waist a couple of times so that it became so short it only barely covered my bare ass when I was standing. When I straddled him again, now minus his jeans, it covered nothing.</p><p>His hands roamed down my sides and over the pleated material to my ass as I continued to grind on him a little while he watched, his arousal becoming slowly more apparent as mine wet his underwear.</p><p>Falling into the idea of the roleplay even more, I stroked at his hair with one hand, my other on his shoulder. “I’m really sorry that I didn’t do my homework, Sir…”</p><p>Immediate recognition in his eyes as he realised what I was doing, he responded to me in line with our theme. “Unless you make it up to me in some other way, I’m giving you an F for that.”</p><p>I pretended to be disappointed and batted my eyelashes. “Please don’t do that, I’ll do whatever you want…”</p><p>It was all so deliciously perverted but it seemed to come to us both so easily as he pulled his now-hard dick out of his boxer briefs and guided it for me while I slowly lowered myself onto him, using his shoulders to support myself. I began to ride him slowly, groaning softly as he gripped my hips.</p><p>“There’s a good girl,” he said quietly as I dug my fingernails into his skin a little at his words, because he knew much I liked that.</p><p>“Mhm,” I moaned a little. “That’s what I want. I just want to be your good girl, Sir.”</p><p>The more dirty talk that flowed the more we were both clearly getting off on it as we fantasised, my breath beginning to come in pants as I rode him.</p><p>“Fuck that’s good,” he mumbled as I smirked, loving the way that I was in control right now while I slowed to a stop in order to meet his lips with mine in fierce passion, which he returned immediately while I very slightly gyrated my hips to make him moan into the kiss.</p><p>I was driving him mad and I knew it as he ran his hands up to my waist and back down to my ass roughly, wanting me to go faster and harder. I did so for a little while, moaning at the feeling of having him inside me and getting totally lost in the moment as our filthy game continued.</p><p>“Hey,” he breathed as I opened my closed eyes to gaze at him lustily. He was pushing gently backwards at my hips in indication so I moved off of him and rose to my feet, wondering what he was going to say. “Get over there.” He was gesturing to the kitchen table.</p><p>Straight away I complied as he shed his underwear and followed, dragging a chair out of the way before physically bending me over the table roughly by the back of my neck. I wondered briefly if he’d noticed in the past that it would be just the right height for this scenario but I was soon distracted as he pushed slowly into me from behind, causing me to whimper at this new angle of being penetrated.</p><p>“Oh god,” I whined in pleasure as he made no real effort to go slow.</p><p>“What’s the matter? You really want that ‘A’, right?” he taunted, pounding me as I gripped the edges of the table and couldn’t help but grin at how into-character he had gotten.</p><p>“Yes Sir,” I moaned, because he chose that moment to land his palm hard on the cheek of my ass. He was relentless with how he fucked me when I was in this sort of position because it was so easy for him to thrust so much harder, while I had no choice but to helplessly take it.</p><p>“Then shut up,” he said breathlessly as he continued, slapping my ass again and causing me to gasp.</p><p>I did as I was told to play along, biting my lip as I felt the build-up of pleasure slowly rise. My hand slid down to my clit, as usual needing that little extra stimulation. The added level of gratification was immediate as I began to whimper and Geoff increased his pace, seemingly not caring that I was touching myself.</p><p>“I hope we don’t get caught,” I groaned, because in my mind we were in his office and any other member of staff or student could walk in at any second.</p><p>“We won’t if you keep the noise down,” Geoff growled a little, digging his nails into my hips with one hand before reaching his other around my face to cover my mouth, muffling my moans and sending a thrill through me simultaneously. “Good girl, be nice and quiet for me.”</p><p>“Mmmfff,” I replied pointlessly as he warned me that he was close, because so was I and all it took was one more slap on the ass to push me over as I gripped the table edge so hard with my free hand that my knuckles turned a little white, my dampened groaning joining his as he hit his climax too before finally slowing. Breathlessly, he pulled his hand away from my face, stroking through my new, shorter hair before trailing it down my back gently and down to the skirt.</p><p>I stood up carefully and turned, looping my arms around his neck as he smiled at me affectionately.</p><p>“I think it’s safe to say that you like my new look,” I grinned, kissing his lips briefly.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” he nodded.</p><p>“Should I maybe…not wear it to work?” I suggested innocently, thinking that even at its longest length it would now only remind him of tonight and probably rile us both up.</p><p>Geoff smirked. “Oh no you should, if only to see how Ryan reacts. I fuckin’ dare you wind him up all day with it on Monday.”</p><p>“Geoff, he’ll maul me!” I giggled, thinking that if his reaction was anything like Geoff’s that I was in for a pretty fun day at work next week.</p><p>He softly kissed along my neck with a smile as I tilted my head a little to give him better access. “Do it anyway.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Admittance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You and Geoff take Millie to the movies. Steffie confronts you and Barbara apologises. You enjoy teasing Ryan.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Millie Ramsey is great, both now and back then. She would very occasionally appear on Off-Topic and in the office, inspiring this part involving her ^.^ ♥</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>A bucket of leftover sweet cinema popcorn in my arms, we strolled out of the movie theatre that Saturday afternoon with grins on our faces as Millie jumped up and down a little in childlike excitement.</p><p>“That was the best movie ever!” she chirped as Geoff smiled adoringly at her and chuckled.</p><p>“Every movie you see is the best movie ever,” he corrected her, not unkindly. “What’s your favourite movie? Your all-time favourite, go on.”</p><p>The nine year-old’s expression turned to a pensive one as she considered this question before shrugging and losing interest. “I dunno.”</p><p>Geoff stuck his hand into the bucket I was carrying to scoop out a handful of the remaining popcorn before tipping his head back as he walked to empty it into his mouth. “See? The last movie she’s seen is automatically ‘the best’.” He raised his eyebrows at me.</p><p>I grinned; how awesome must being a child be again? Particularly a child with parents that had such open-minded and colourful personalities like Griffon and Geoff. They were the polar opposite of the one parent I’d been fortunate to have in my mother and though I loved her dearly, she was definitely not the kind of mother who would ever act the way they did.</p><p>“Can we get pizza?” Millie smiled sweetly at her dad, knowing he would probably cave in pretty easily. The older she was getting, the more the spitting image she was of her mother, especially when she smiled.</p><p>“Sure,” he replied predictably, but to be fair we were all hungry after snacking for the last two hours during ‘Into The Woods’, a modern take on the Brothers Grimm fairy tales with added singing. “D’you wanna grab it and go home or sit in somewhere to eat?”</p><p>“I wanna sit in,” Millie insisted, and boy did I know her game. “And I wanna go to that place you took me to a couple of weeks ago, the one with the cookie dough dessert.”</p><p>I had heard about this infamous dessert because she had described it as ‘incredible’, which coming from her was high praise since she was a slightly picky eater. It was a warm, partially-cooked giant cookie served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream that would melt slowly on top, the sweetness and gooeyness contrasting in temperature just right in your mouth.</p><p>“Alright,” Geoff nodded as Millie reached for his hand to hold while we stepped on to the escalator. “You’re gonna share it with [Y/N] though, right?”</p><p>There was a brief pause. “Hm…no.” Millie giggled and skipped ahead as we exited the cinema building out into the car park. “You can have your own.”</p><p>“Millicent Ramsey, I raised you to share,” Geoff jokingly scolded her whilst grinning.</p><p>Piercing us with her bright blue eyes that were so much like her dad’s, she simply replied, “It’s not a sharing dessert.”</p><p>Geoff cracked up a little. “Not a fuckin’ sharing dessert? It’s huge! Don’t tell me you can’t share that, I swear to god-”</p><p>This continued on until we were all sitting with seatbelts on in the car, Millie in the back seat and Geoff starting the engine as they continued their adorable bickering.</p><p>“Y’know what?” I interrupted, deciding to add my input. “I think I might get a different flavour than Millie and then we can both share <em>two </em>portions and have twice the flavour experience.”</p><p>The young girl’s eyes went wide as she excitedly agreed that this was a fantastic idea.</p><p>Fixing me with an amused stare for a couple of seconds, Geoff shook his head as we drove. “Y’all are ganging up on me now.”</p><p>“Hell yeah we are,” I beamed, reaching into the back to high-five his daughter. On Halloween a few months ago we had been ‘Team Dress-Up’, but that no longer fitted. “We need a new team name…how about… ‘Team Cookie Dough’?” Yes it was lame, but it was all I had.</p><p>Still, Millie approved and so we went with that as Geoff whined about us excluding him, though I could tell he wasn’t being serious.</p><p>“Millicent, you’re gonna form a goddamn club and not invite me, your own dad?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she shrugged in response. “You’re just not cool enough.”</p><p>I snorted loudly with laughter as Geoff grinned at me a little reproachfully due to my reaction.</p><p>“He’s cooler than most dads, Mills,” I pointed out, throwing Geoff a bone.</p><p>She shrugged again. “Okay well you’re <em>kinda </em>cool. But not as cool as [Y/N].”</p><p>Feeling extremely complimented, I smiled at her. She was so cute sitting in the back with her kid-sized zip-up black hoodie a little too big for her, resulting in the sleeves falling slightly past her hands which she’d tucked into the front pockets anyway, her brownish-blonde hair cut into a funky style so that her fringe was way longer than the back. I wasn’t a huge fan of small children because I had very little maternal yearning or instincts, but Millie was different – she was a young person that I could have conversations with and who could, in relative terms, look after herself.</p><p>“I’m cooler than you,” I said smugly to Geoff as he gave me the finger.</p><p>As usual Millie wanted just plain margarita pizza, while Geoff attempted to get them to cram as many meat-based toppings on his as possible. I settled somewhere in the middle, with extra cheese.</p><p>“How’s school?” I asked her conversationally.</p><p>She shrugged and bit into another slice.</p><p>“That good, huh?” Geoff chuckled before glancing at me. “She’s been doing this art project recently and she got Griffon to help her, because I’m fuckin’ shit at arts and crafts, but anyway, she has to paint still life and then write a piece on why she used the style of painting she did.”</p><p>“Wow,” I raised my eyebrows. “What’d you choose?”</p><p>Millie shrugged, which seemed to be her favourite new way to reply to people. She had also gone oddly quiet since we’d brought up the subject of school.</p><p>“Did you ever get bullied in school?” she asked me suddenly, causing Geoff to look concerned all of a sudden.</p><p>“I did,” I admitted, chewing on my pizza. “Why, are you getting bullied, Mills?”</p><p>Again, she shrugged.</p><p>“Millicent, you need to tell me if you are,” Geoff told her firmly. “Your mom and I can help.”</p><p>“No…you can’t,” Millie said quietly. Then she got to her feet and went off to the restroom as we watched her go.</p><p>I cast Geoff a worried look. “Why d’you think she’s being bullied?”</p><p>With a sigh, he ran a hand back through his hair. “There’s this kid she’s talked about before who made fun of her for…well, me and Griffon.”</p><p>I was surprised to say the least; I’d always assumed that Millie would be coolest kid in class with parents like she had, both of whom were in the public eye and with Geoff being pretty well-known. Then again, I supposed it could be a double-edged sword to have your parents saying and doing all sorts of things online that you had no control over.</p><p>“They’re <em>nine, </em>what could they possibly make fun of her for because of you guys?” I asked, genuinely curious and starting to feel really sorry for her. How much did kids her age care about finding content her dad was in on Youtube to use as ammunition anyway?</p><p>“She’s told us kids have called us ‘circus freaks’ before,” Geoff rolled his eyes. “Not very original. Also stupid, because I have the coordination of a pig in shit.”</p><p>Despite the conversation, I smiled because this was true. “I’m guessing she doesn’t think you guys can fix it if you guys are the subject of the bullying.”</p><p>“Griffin’s gonna go ape when she hears about this.” Geoff rubbed his face with both hands, like he usually did when he was stressed. “The last time that happened, she marched down to the school to talk to her teacher.”</p><p>Millie returned, perching back on her chair as she picked up another slice of her pizza.</p><p>“Did you wash your hands?” Geoff prompted in a very dad-like fashion.</p><p>“Yeah,” she nodded, taking a big bite.</p><p>“Good. So, talk to me. What’s going on?” he asked gently while I averted my eyes so that she wouldn’t perhaps feel so pressured with the both of us staring at her.</p><p>“What were you bullied for in school?” she turned her light eyes to me once again, ignoring the question and asking one of her own instead. Maybe if I opened up to her, she’d open up too. It was worth a shot.</p><p>“Well, let’s see…” I recalled a prominent set of incidents of being repeatedly terrorised for having such fluffy, wavy hair and the fact that I used to wear glasses – probably pretty common. “I got picked on quite a bit for my hair, it used to be really big instead of just hanging straight down. And I had these really thick glasses before I got laser eye surgery to correct my vision.”</p><p>Millie drank some of her soda through her straw. “You didn’t ever get bullied for being bad at reading?”</p><p>With a glance at Geoff, I could see the confusion pass over his face.</p><p>“What do you mean? You can read fine,” I replied for him.</p><p>“Yeah, in my head,” she nodded, pressing her lips together a little before speaking again. “When we have to read out loud in class, I…I’m bad at it.”</p><p>Geoff tilted his head a little. “D’you mince your words like I do all the time?”</p><p>“Yeah. But worse,” she shrugged, looking down at her plate. “It’s…all in order in my head but when I try to read something aloud I just mess it all up.”</p><p>“That’s not worse,” I said sympathetically. “Geoff does it all the time without even reading from anything. Sometimes his brain just doesn’t work right.” I was obviously joking, but that earned me another bout of being flipped off as I stuck my tongue out at him cheekily.</p><p>“Maybe practice at home?” Geoff suggested. “Is it a public speaking thing? Or like…a reading-out-loud issue?”</p><p>“I dunno,” she replied. “I get nervous because I know I’m gonna mess it up. But I’m not scared of talking in front of people.”</p><p>“Just practice,” I told her, backing up her dad’s constructive suggestion. “You’ll get more used to it. Pick up your favourite book and read it out loud to yourself until you stumble less and less.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what actors do with lines,” he added. “They practice until they don’t screw the lines up any more. That’s such a stupid thing for kids to make fun of you for.” He shook his head and took a swig of his drink.</p><p>It really was, but kids could be incredibly mean when they tried hard enough, which unfortunately happened too often throughout schools.</p><p>***</p><p>Monday morning was once again lacking any kind of chill to the air, one of the advantages and disadvantages of living in Austin, Texas, depending on which way you looked at it. Most people in the Western Hemisphere associated December with cold and snow, but very rarely would you ever get that here. The middle of the month currently was mild at worst so far, with temperatures not falling low at all except occasionally at night during sundown.</p><p>As such I was completely getting away with wearing what I’d worn on Friday again with a slight change. I’d put on the same red pleated skirt, black knee-high socks and shiny black flats, but instead of the white turtleneck, I’d gone for a cream sheer blouse with little black cat heads all over it, the collar black too. Underneath I wore a cream camisole to avoid just having my bra completely show through along with my bare torso and back.</p><p>I walked casually through the building, heading straight to the kitchen area to make coffee before I did anything else; I needed to get some caffeine in me first if I was going to be in any way productive today.</p><p>“Nice hair!” exclaimed a voice from behind me as I turned to see Steffie standing there with a pot of instant porridge in one hand and a spoon in the other. “Have you ever <em>not</em> worn jeans to work before?”</p><p>I shook my head with a smile. “Pretty much never. I’ve been feeling confident lately.”</p><p>She grinned at me and ate some of her breakfast. “Good for you.”</p><p>I observed her for a few seconds because she hadn’t moved. I poured my freshly-brewed coffee into a mug. “You want to know who I’m dating, don’t you?”</p><p>Looking a little guilty at my sussing her out but also clearly overwhelmed with curiosity, her face went to a slightly pleading expression.</p><p>“I won’t tell anyone, I promise! Come on, we’ve been friends for years!”</p><p>She was right and I did trust her, but I already felt like far too many people knew. If I was going to tell her, she was definitely going to be the last.</p><p>“Pinky-promise?” I smiled, offering out my little finger. She grinned and linked hers with mine, nodding.</p><p>“Pinky-promise!”</p><p>“Okay,” I said quietly, adding sugar to my coffee. “I’m dating both of them.”</p><p>“<em>What?” </em>she gasped, her eyes widening as she nearly dropped her porridge pot. “Are you serious? Like, at the same time?”</p><p>“Polyamorous relationship, I’m not cheating on them,” I added quickly. “They both know.”</p><p>“I…so…did not have that idea pegged when I betted,” she breathed, staring at me. “That’s…so interesting, wow. D’you like them both the same? I mean, it’d be hard not to compare them, right?”</p><p>I tilted my head a little, caught off-guard by this strange question that I’d never really considered. They were such completely different people that I couldn’t really directly compare them anyway, but I loved that about them. They both had their own idiosyncrasies and personality traits that very rarely had common overlaps.</p><p>“I don’t really do that,” I shrugged, stirring milk into my cup. “They’re both amazing in their own ways.”</p><p>Steffie just shook her head in response, seeming a little lost for words. “Wow. That’s…really cool. Good for you. What are they <em>like?” </em>She was probing now, clearly unable to help herself.</p><p>I leaned against the counter and took a small sip of my hot drink as I summed them up in four words. “Sexy. Sweet. Caring. Protective.”</p><p>“Does the age gap not bother you?” she asked inquisitively, loading her spoon up with more of her porridge.</p><p>“Nope,” I answered truthfully because I’d never really understood why it would.</p><p>“You don’t think you’re attracted to them because…well…” she paused, clearly wondering if she was going to overstep. “…because your dad was absent? Y’know, like ‘daddy issues’?”</p><p>I stared at her for a few seconds before starting to laugh. “No!”</p><p>Dear god, I hoped not.</p><p>Coffee in hand I walked into the Achievement Hunter office, now completely distracted by my conversation with our social media manager and one of my closest friends. It wasn’t until Gavin whistled a little at my new appearance that I remembered again that I looked different; I’d gotten used to it over the weekend, though my hair still surprised me a little every time I looked in the mirror.</p><p>“You’ve changed!” Gavin grinned with a gasp as Michael rolled his eyes at him.</p><p>“She’s had her hair cut, she hasn’t had a head transplant,” he chortled.</p><p>“Yeah, and dyed! How have you already seen it?” Gavin pouted a little at Michael who was sitting at his own desk beside him.</p><p>“It happened on Friday,” the slightly older lad replied casually. “You weren’t here.”</p><p>I purposefully and unnecessarily leaned over slightly to place my bag down under my desk beside Ryan’s, giving him a pretty good view of the backs of my thighs as the skirt rode up the tiniest bit before I sat down on my chair, crossing one leg over the other and smiling at him whilst picking my coffee cup back up.</p><p>His mouth said nothing but his eyes said everything. He was undressing me in his head already - that much was clear as a small smirk crept onto his face. He met my eyes briefly before turning back to look at his monitor screen.</p><p>And so it had begun.</p><p>The morning’s recording of Grand Theft Auto V went relatively normally with only a few hiccups occurring due to Gavin getting dangerously bored and therefore destructive, ruining any hope we had of completing the mission we were attempting as a group. And the issue was that once this happened, Ryan would also get chaotic in the knowledge that now that everything was already screwed, he had every blessing to make it worse. So much worse.</p><p>“If you could <em>stop </em>blowing shit up every second you get, that’d be fuckin’ great!” Geoff eventually howled at the pair of them as Gavin resorted to using a grenade launcher on the plane that Ryan was in because he’d beat him at climbing into it.</p><p>“You fucking baby, Gavin,” Ryan retorted as the blast killed them both. “You killed me <em>and </em>you!”</p><p>“I didn’t want you to have it,” Gavin whined as Jack laughed.</p><p>“Yeah, I think that was his point.”</p><p>“Alright, look, you can have this plane instead, Gav,” Ray offered, trying to make peace as they both respawned nearby. “Get in with me.”</p><p>“We’ve gone past the time limit to finish this mission, so we’ve failed anyway,” Jack sighed, putting down his controller in defeat. “I don’t know why the timer’s still counting.”</p><p>“Come on, we can still at least finish this,” Geoff tried to encourage us, but it was too late for some.</p><p>“Hm, I wonder if I could hit a moving target from the ground with this rocket launcher?” Ryan mused aloud ominously as he equipped it and I observed Gavin and Ray flying above in the small glider-like plane.</p><p>“Oh god,” was all I had time to say before he fired and hit his mark first try, causing the plane to explode into a ball of fire and instantly killing the pair of lads within it.</p><p>The plane wasn’t the only thing to explode. “RYAN!” yelled Michael as he hit out at the gent’s in-game character with a baseball bat in frustration as Ryan merely laughed maniacally.</p><p>Geoff slid his face into his hands in real life, of which Jack informed the audience who obviously couldn’t see us.</p><p>“Are we gonna finish this mission ever?” he mumbled from between his fingers.</p><p>“Yeah we are,” I said firmly, trying to round up the <em>children</em> I was working with, though it was goddamn hilarious all the same. “Gav, find another plane, we still need you to fly. Jack, at least hold your pad.”</p><p>“As long as Ryan doesn’t steal it again,” Gavin muttered as Jack reluctantly picked his controller back up.</p><p>“I didn’t <em>steal it</em>, you tried to get into <em>my plane!</em>” Ryan protested.</p><p>“How was that your plane?” Gavin challenged him. “You found it just sitting there!”</p><p>“Exactly, <em>I </em>found it!”</p><p>“Oh my fucking god shut up,” Michael growled, but I could tell he was amused too.</p><p>Lunch soon beckoned as we all sprung up and dispersed, starving and wanting food. I wandered over to the kitchen to make a sandwich before settling down at one of the nearby wooden tables to eat it, careful to keep my legs together to avoid giving anyone random a show of my panties. Jeans never gave you that issue but since I’d taken to wearing skirts, I was now more aware of this than ever.</p><p>It wasn’t long before a flurry of blonde-haired Canadian sat herself down opposite me, clutching a chocolate bar and with an expression of apology on her face.</p><p>“I’m really sorry I upset you on Friday,” she said before I could even swallow my current bite. “I wasn’t trying to and I couldn’t find you when you left after lunch. By the way girl, you look fabulous.”</p><p>I shook my head with a small smile. “It’s okay, Barb. And thanks.”</p><p>“Have you told them to stop with that betting pool thing?” she asked, sliding the chocolate across the table at me. “And this is for you by the way.”</p><p>“Aw thanks,” I grinned, accepting it. “No, I haven’t but I’m going to. D’you know who started it?”</p><p>A couple of people walked by us so Barbara lowered her voice. “I don’t know, but I’d start with Kerry Shawcross.”  </p><p>“Hm, I will.” I took another bite of sandwich, thinking about it. “He was the one you said you saw telling other people about it, right?”</p><p>Barbara nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know if he made it, but he’s definitely interested in it enough to verbally advertise it.”</p><p>Goddammit. I liked him, but I was definitely going to wring his neck the next time I saw him.</p><p>Back in the office I needed to work on editing a video for a deadline tomorrow, so I clicked around to find the files I needed as Ryan continued to shoot me sideways glances every now and then. Credit where it was due; he was being more subtle than usual about it but I still noticed every glance, every bite of his bottom lip, every slight smile as he checked me out.</p><p>Half of the room hadn’t returned because Gavin and Michel had gone off to the streaming office while Geoff was attending a company meeting. Jack still wasn’t back from lunch either because he usually liked to take the whole hour, which only left Ray sitting at his desk behind Ryan and I, wearing headphones while he, too, edited.</p><p>Needing to use the restroom, I got up out of my chair, lightly stroking a hand over the back of Ryan’s neck on my way as I sauntered casually out of the room so that he would watch me leave, my key card pass in my hand. Sure that he was looking my way, I purposefully dropped the pass and made a deliberate show of bending over to pick it up before exiting the office.</p><p>Because of this, it shouldn’t really have surprised me to see him standing in wait for me in the corridor, leaning against the wall with folded arms and a raised eyebrow as I left the bathroom.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Rough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan’s had enough of your teasing at work and decides to punish you, but not in the way you expected.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>With a would-be innocent flutter of my eyelashes, I made to walk past Ryan as he grabbed my wrist to stop me before pulling me backwards a couple of steps. He said nothing whilst gazing down at me and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me right here in public where literally anyone could catch us. Then he began to walk, leading me along and still not letting go of me.</p><p>A smile forming on my lips, I followed him whilst realising fairly fast where we were heading. He threw the door of the storage closet wide open, pushed me backwards into the room, flicked the light on and let the door swing shut behind us. He made sure to lock it with one twist of its key (which was supposed to be kept on the outside) before wrapping a hand around my neck and forcing me against the wall roughly.</p><p>I squeaked a little because he was pressing pretty hard.</p><p>“You,” he said quietly against my ear as he stood right up against me, “look fucking hot. And I think you know that.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I rasped, unable to help smiling a bit.</p><p>“Shut up,” he replied, attacking my lips with his own as he released my throat, his hand now going down to my thigh and sliding up under the skirt while his other roamed my chest. I moaned a little into the kiss because my prediction on how he was going to react to my teasing seemed to be pretty accurate so far and I loved it when he was rough. I ran my hands up the skin of his waist beneath his shirt, feeling my exhilaration begin to flow.</p><p>“It was Geoff’s idea,” I mumbled to add fuel to the fire as he moved his lips to my jawline and down to my neck, kissing and nipping with his teeth in equal measures while he dug his nails into my thigh, “to wear this skirt today and wind you up.”</p><p>His eyes blazing with lust, Ryan merely smirked at me. “I knew you were trying to fucking turn me on all morning, you little whore.”</p><p>I whimpered in response as his fingers unbuttoned my blouse before discarding it. The cream camisole was next, up over my head before I had time to process followed by his hands reaching around my back to unhook my bra too. Now entirely naked from the waist-up, I let out a breathy moan as his mouth went straight to one of my nipples, sucking and nipping it with his teeth as his fingernails sank into my flesh once again.</p><p>“Oh Ry,” I whined as he swapped to my other nipple, using his fingers to gently pinch the first.</p><p>Footsteps as someone walked past the closet, causing a thrill to shoot through me from the potential danger as I felt Ryan hesitate briefly before resuming.</p><p>He trailed heated kisses all the way down to the waistband of the skirt before standing back up straight and meeting my lips again with his own, the passion pouring through as he made it abundantly clear that he was going to have me right here and right now. His hands found the rim of my panties, yanking them down my legs as I allowed them to drop to my ankles, kicking them off.</p><p>His biting had moved to my collarbone now while he unzipped his jeans, with me reaching to pull his shirt off. A small pile of clothing was now forming beside us on the disused desk as we stripped, me still wearing my shoes, black knee-high socks and of course, the skirt.</p><p>“You’re so short,” he mumbled, stroking my cheek softly with his fingers. What a strange time to bring up my height.</p><p>“What?” I whispered, confused, but then I realised he was moving me sideways a little so that I could step up onto a couple of horizontal planks of wood that had been abandoned in here, as part of some future or past project. This gave me enough of a boost in height to nearly match him.</p><p>He hooked his arm under my thigh, lifting my leg right up and supporting it under my knee as he pressed me back against the wall. With the couple of extra inches under my feet, he was easily able to penetrate me and thrust comfortably with his hips while I groaned and clutched at his shoulders, his free hand scratching down the skin of my side slowly.</p><p>As ever, I was finding it difficult to keep quiet as he fucked me like he hadn’t had me in weeks, his possessive kisses and biting heightening my arousal while I put all my effort into not just moaning loudly and making it obvious what was going on in here.</p><p>“Mm, you’re so fucking wet for me,” he purred, finding a steady rhythm as I whimpered softly at the pleasure, my eyes closed. “Is that from being a tease all morning? Or is it because you love it when I choke you?”</p><p>His fingernails scratched harshly up my side as his hand slid back up to my neck, encasing my jugular once again.</p><p>“Both,” I groaned as he gripped harder. I gasped a little as the pleasure mingled with the discomfort of the pressure on my airway.</p><p>“Dirty bitch,” he murmured with a smirk, kissing my lips again briefly. “This is supposed to be a punishment.”</p><p>This surprised me a little, because it felt like anything but. He clearly noticed the confusion in my eyes as I gazed at him in the next moment.</p><p>“It might not feel like it right now but trust me, it is,” he told me quietly in my ear, clarifying absolutely nothing as he continued moving his hips. I had no idea how much time was actually passing while I fell into the throes of bliss, loving the way we had both begun to sweat slightly while we fucked, but then he sped up a little, which correlated to his grip on my throat as he pressed harder until I could no longer breathe at all.  </p><p>I wasn’t panicked. I trusted him entirely with my body and while my head began to swim slightly from the lack of oxygen, how hard he was thrusting had increased too and felt so good that it was all I could do to stay conscious as he deprived me and gave me exactly what I wanted at the same time.</p><p>My mouth was open in silent, choked ecstasy as he groaned my name against my ear while he came, pressing his lips into my shoulder in an effort to muffle himself. He finally released his grasp, causing me to draw deep gasping breaths of air against his neck as he held me for a minute to recover.</p><p>“Fuck,” he murmured, his fingers sliding through my hair whilst he lowered my leg so that I was standing back on two feet again.</p><p>“Yeah,” I panted in agreement, a small smile on my lips as he caressed his hands down to my hips beneath my skirt.</p><p>Mischief in his eyes as he gazed at me steadily, he slid his fingers down to my clit, stroking gently and eliciting a breathy moan from me as I leaned back against the wall for support again.</p><p>“Aw, is that good?” he whispered cockily, because he knew the answer.</p><p>“God yes,” I replied, <em>really</em> needing him to continue. But he stopped abruptly, causing me to whine a little instead.</p><p>“In about an hour, because I have stuff to do, meet me back here again. This is your punishment: you don’t get to come yet.” He withdrew his hand, licking his fingers clean to taunt me some more before reaching for his clothes. “And because you’ll be sitting beside me at your desk, I’ll know if you disappear off to touch yourself.”</p><p>I stared at him desperately. “I hate you.”</p><p>He merely smirked at me, pulling on his underwear and jeans before zipping them up. “No you don’t.”</p><p>Yeah okay, he was obviously right, but <em>goddammit</em>.</p><p>I cleaned up as best as I could and redressed, desire still flowing through me as I watched him check if the coast was clear outside. I guess I only had myself to blame for this, though it didn’t ease the current sexual frustration I was feeling.</p><p>On my way back to the office, I caught sight of someone I wanted a word with as Ryan continued over towards the office.</p><p>“I’ll be there in a minute,” I said in an off-hand tone as he raised an eyebrow at me.</p><p>“You’d better be,” he replied, pushing open the door while I called out to the kitchen area nearby.</p><p>“KERRY!”</p><p>As though being caught in the act of doing something he shouldn’t be, he jumped at my call, turning to watch me march over to him with a guilty look on his face. Pent up and frustrated, I was pretty ready to get to the bottom of this.</p><p>“Oh, hey,” he greeted me sheepishly.</p><p>“Don’t ‘hey’ me, who made up this betting pool crap?” I demanded.</p><p>“Uhh…” he hesitated, totally taken aback by my out-of-character attitude. “Um…”</p><p>“Who?” I folded my arms, refusing to let this drop.</p><p>“Caleb and I,” he admitted softly, avoiding my eyes. “I didn’t know you were so mad about it.”</p><p>“Of course I’m mad about it,” I said as he squirmed uncomfortably before me because I’d never spoken to him like this ever before. “It’s not a fucking joke.”</p><p>“Okay, okay!” he held his hands up in defeat. “I’ll stop it, I swear. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Good.” I backed off, satisfied. But then he unwisely smiled, irritating me further.</p><p>“Who are you <em>actually</em> dating though? Just so I know?”</p><p>“Kerry I swear to fucking god, you are on <em>wafer </em>thin ice,” I growled, using my fingers to indicate exactly how close he was to pissing me off permanently and losing all access to sharing my good coffee that I bought in specially for myself.</p><p>“Okay, okay, okay,” he said very quickly, clearly wanting to placate me. “Sorry.”</p><p>As I sat back down in my desk chair between Ryan and Jack, the former shot me a curious glance.</p><p>“What was that about?”</p><p>“He’s been attempting to profit off of my love life,” I replied lightly, shuffling in my seat because I was still so horny and the material of my panties was now constantly reminding me of that fact. “People have been betting whether I’m with you or Geoff.”</p><p>Ryan raised an eyebrow. “That’s pretty fucked up.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s kind of twisted,” Jack agreed.</p><p>Ray said nothing, still wearing headphones as he worked on editing behind us, presumably unable to hear us. It was just the four of us in here for the afternoon now so for the next hour, while I gritted my teeth and dealt with being aroused as all hell, I attempted to distract myself with work.</p><p>The hour crawled by but finally, Ryan left the room and my excitement leapt as this cue. Subtly checking my phone as though something to do with work was requiring me to go off somewhere before exiting the room too, I headed straight for the closet again. The light on and the door definitely locked behind us, I practically launched myself at him as he grinned and picked me up by my ass, turning to sit me down on the desk while I kissed him fiercely.</p><p>“Somebody’s a little desperate,” he taunted quietly as I pulled him closer by gripping handfuls of his shirt and tugging.</p><p>“Yeah and why do you think that is?” I breathed slightly irritably, already unbuttoning his fly. “Maybe it’s because you’re evil and made me wait so long.”</p><p>Ryan ran a hand through my light hair softly before gripping it tight – though it was much shorter now, it was still long enough for this. “Here’s the thing though, angel. I’m in charge. Now get on your fucking knees.”</p><p>The edge in his voice silenced me immediately as I slid off of the desk to the floor, pulling down his jeans and underwear to work on his already semi-hard dick, tasting myself on him from before as he refused to let go of my hair.</p><p> “There’s a good little slut,” he uttered down to me as I moaned gently around him, feeling him get increasingly aroused. I shuffled a little, severely needing relief as he watched me. “Hey, hands where I can see them.”</p><p>I made a small noise of compliance as I used one hand to aid my mouth on him and placed my other on his thigh to show willingness to behave in the hopes that this would earn me brownie points.</p><p>His actions were based on my responses to them and he had learned over time how much I liked it when he called me names and talked down to me like I belonged to him. I’d observed him doing this much more frequently lately, though it had always been an element during our intimacy from the very beginning. The way that he would act outside of this was why I was so okay with it; I knew he didn’t actually think of me as beneath him, or as a whore. He knew that my trust in him was the reason why he could choke me and not get punched in the face, or tie me up and not have me use the safe word. He knew my limits.</p><p>It was all about control and it was equally as much in my hands as it was his because of our mutual trust, despite the scales seeming to weigh heavily in his favour a lot of the time.</p><p>“Sit.” He patted the desk as an indication for me to stop what I was doing. I rose and did as I was told, smiling innocently as he stood over me, pushing me down until I was laying on my back. He lifted my hips and scooted me towards him so that my ass overhung the edge of the desk very slightly, allowing him to tug down and discard my panties again. He then gripped my raised, spread thighs and pushed into me, holding my legs in order to thrust harder into my willing body while I moaned. In response, he only smirked and bit his lower lip as my skirt bunched up around my waist.</p><p>“Are you gonna get us caught because you can’t shut the fuck up?” he asked while I attempted to be quieter.</p><p>“No,” I whimpered, really not actually wanting that because of all of the questions it would inevitably lead to while he unbuttoned my blouse.</p><p>“Oh yeah? You sure?” he asked quietly, closing his eyes briefly out of pleasure as he pounded me. “Because sometimes…I could swear you’re doing it on purpose.”</p><p>“I’m – really – not,” I replied breathlessly between thrusts, through the haze of gratification he was giving me. “I – promise.”</p><p>“Why don’t I believe you?” he murmured as I gripped the edges of the desk either side of me while I let out a strangely strangled moan because he was going so hard.</p><p>“Holy fuck Ryan,” I gasped as he eased up slightly only to verbally tease me some more.</p><p>Right as he opened his mouth to speak though, there were footsteps outside of the door again. My eyes widened as he slowed, still thrusting but much more gently, the pair of us suddenly quiet as he leaned over me slightly.</p><p>“Shhh,” he whispered with a smirk whilst pushing up my cream camisole and kissing along my torso softly, watching me squirm a little with a smile on my lips despite the imminent threat.</p><p>Then somebody tried the door handle with a rattle, only to find it was – mercifully for us – locked, but my heart rate had just increased tenfold. A few seconds later, the footsteps faded once more as the person walked away.</p><p>Resuming his previous speed and force as he stood up a little straighter again now that the danger had gone, I groaned before promptly stifling it with my own hand because I clearly had no self-control, which caused him to chuckle.</p><p>“D’you need me to do that for you?” he asked, his voice a little gravelly as he reached over and dragged my hand away from my mouth to replace it with his own.</p><p>I was still audible but it was far quieter and more muffled as he fucked me harder, my eyes closing and my body arching slightly up off of the desk as I fought every instinct to touch myself. He was approaching orgasm - I could see it on his face as his eyes closed and my name left his lips in the form of a groan as he hit his climax.</p><p>If I’d been desperate to come before, I was now crazed with lust as his hand slipped from over my lips and he stroked along my thighs gently in his post-orgasm haze of pleasure.</p><p>“Ryan, please…”</p><p>He met my pleading eyes with his own, his mouth curling into a smile. “Want something?”</p><p>“<em>Please,”</em> I begged, watching him as he finally relented, rubbing his fingers against my clit as I writhed and attempted to silence myself against the sudden rush of ecstasy. “Oh fuck, please can I come?”</p><p>“Already?” he cocked an eyebrow as I groaned because he was going to remind me until the very last second who was dominant here.</p><p>“<em>Yes, already,” </em>I growled, gasping as he played with me until the point of being right at the edge. “Please?”</p><p>“Just a little longer,” he murmured, knowing how agonising this was for me as I squirmed and whimpered. “I like watching you like this.”</p><p>My head tipped back, my eyes closed and mouth open as I tried not to come too soon while he teased. “Please…please…please…”</p><p>“Not yet,” he responded, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take it. I had waited so long already; now he was just being cruel.</p><p>I writhed again but he held me still with his free arm holding one of my legs so that I could only wriggle a very limited amount.</p><p>“I’ll do anything you want, just <em>please </em>let me,” I whined.</p><p>“There it is,” he smirked, as though he had been waiting for this promise that he was definitely going to hold me to. “Show me how pretty you are when you come, whore.”</p><p>Any sense I had was abandoned in my absolute rush of orgasm, my entire body trembling from finally letting go as it overtook me. Unfortunately, this also meant that I didn’t realise the loud moan-like scream I’d let out until Ryan’s hand was back over my mouth, slightly late but still dampening my following whimpers as I came down from my high slowly.</p><p>“Fucking hell, I hope nobody heard that,” he whispered with a slight laugh while his lips replaced his hand as he kissed me with surprising gentleness.</p><p>“Mmm,” I moaned quietly, not really caring if anyone did in that particular moment.</p><p>Ryan helped me up into a sitting position while he gathered his clothing and found my panties, handing them over. I hopped up off of the desk and slid them back on before buttoning my blouse back up as I watched him quickly redress too. As soon as he’d finished, I affectionately slid my arms around him as he smiled and held me for a moment, the two of us sharing a cuddle as I breathed him in.</p><p>“I love you so damn much,” I mumbled, feeling him squeeze me a little in response.</p><p>“I love-“</p><p>We jumped because the door rattled again, but this time whoever it was had a key. The pair of us sprang apart and the door swung open.</p><p>“Why the fuck was this locked?” demanded Gus as he frowned at us. “I had to go dig out a spare key. Why are you both in here?”</p><p>Ryan, I have to say, played it much more cool than me.</p><p>“Someone locked us in here for a joke,” he shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets with a charming smile while I self-consciously flattened my hair and hoped I didn’t look like I’d just been ravished.</p><p>“Yeah, we’ve been stuck in here for about twenty minutes,” I added in what I hoped was a casual tone, clearing my throat and avoiding looking at him or Ryan as he eyed us suspiciously.</p><p>I wasn’t sure he was buying it. Neither was Ryan given how poor the excuse had been, but since Gus wasn’t technically a boss to either of us we moved past him to exit swiftly, both of us shooting one another a look because of how close we had come to being walked in on.</p><p>“By the way, I’m changing my bet to Ryan,” Gus called suddenly to our sheepishly retreating backs. “I had my money on Geoff but now that I think you two just banged in here, I’m changing my bet.”</p><p>Without another word we scarpered, the pair of us laughing at the fact that we hadn’t fooled him at all but clearly he wasn’t about to get us into major trouble so we were pretty much in the clear. Previously I might have felt mortified at basically being outed for doing something so scandalous at work, but as Ryan reached to fix my slightly mussed up hair with adoration in his eyes, I realised I didn’t care.</p><p>I probably should have cared though, because Gus hadn’t been the person who had heard me scream with pleasure.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Gamertag</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. The famous gamertag change prank on Ryan happens. Meg is a little baffled by your choice in men.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter details a real-life event that happened on camera in the form of ‘Episode 1 of Shenanigans’, because it lines up perfectly with my fic, date-wise. If you don’t want to read it because it’s ‘too real’, that’s totally cool*. Whilst I can completely detach and still watch and write Ryan content (and keep him in my mind as I thought he was with a nice helping of fantasy layered on top), I understand completely that not everyone can. <b>If you don’t want me to do this again with ‘real’ stuff because it’s too upsetting/hits too close to home/breaks your immersion, let me know. I won’t be doing it ever with anything negative regardless, obviously. </b></p><p>*<span class="u"> Skip to about halfway down for fictional writing if you want to skip part of this chapter due to the above reasons </span></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Something nefarious was happening, I could tell. Even without removing my headphones while I listened to and watched the game footage I was editing, it only took one glance at Geoff’s mischievous face to know that <em>something </em>was going on. The first thing that should have tipped me off was the fact that he was sitting beside me at Ryan’s desk for some reason, but I’d figured it was for a legitimate purpose. I <em>hadn’t</em> figured that it was because he was planning on playing the ultimate office prank on him.</p><p>Removing my headset with a frown, I glanced around the room. The others were actually standing or sitting observing this as Geoff sniggered, typing something in on the screen by using an Xbox One controller. More importantly Gavin was filming this, prompting me to lean over to see exactly what our boss was doing that was so camera-worthy.</p><p>Because I hadn’t been paying any attention before now, Ray’s explanation to the audience actually also served to help me out too as I began to grasp the situation: they were all attempting to change Ryan’s gamertag to something less than desirable. Eyes widening, I watched as Geoff tried various different things while Ray admitted that this was originally his idea, with his initial suggestion being the gamertag ‘Haywoodyablowme’.</p><p>At this point I lost it laughing. The Xbox didn’t seem to be okay with allowing that change however so Geoff continued to contemplate nervously with a grin on his face while Michael suggested creating a brand new account to ‘save’ Ryan’s current username. This idea would avoid it being lost forever, an act that was bound to soften the upcoming retaliation.</p><p>After a few name ideas had been tried out and had come back as being taken, Michael offered up ‘GiveMeYourMilk’ in reference to the ‘Haywood Dairy’ cow shirt that had come out very recently on the back of Ryan’s obsession with keeping Edgar in a hole in Minecraft. There was a collective gasp as the Xbox seemed happy to allow this change, asking us for the first time so far for a confirmation press of the ‘A’ button. That meant it was one step away from being submitted.</p><p>“Ryan’s going to be maaaaad…” I said quietly with a grin, because though this had begun as merely a joke in passing, it was quickly becoming a reality.</p><p>Geoff was hovering with the controller in his hands as Michael set up an account on his own machine to grab ‘BM Vagabond’ so that some random fan couldn’t jump in and steal it forever. At this point, Ray stated how this was nothing to do with him any more because they weren’t even using the username he had suggested in the first place.</p><p>“Yeah, I also had nothing to do with this,” I added, raising my hands a little. “When he starts throwing knives again, it better not be at me.”</p><p>Gavin, eager to facilitate chaos, was quietly egging Geoff on with the words, “Do it.”</p><p>“Don’t do it,” Ray chimed in, shaking his head and having a serious case of regret now for ever mentioning this idea. “Don’t do it.”</p><p>Finally it was agreed that because it was ‘content’ and we were already filming, that it had to be done. Geoff didn’t want to be the one physically responsible for it though, so he offered the confirmation press to Gavin. In a spark of genius as we all nervously snickered, the lad proposed getting someone who had no idea what they were committing to, to press it for us.</p><p>Then Ray recommended getting the victim himself to confirm his very own gamertag name change without having any clue he was doing so, leading to Geoff temporarily disappearing off over to the set of ‘The Patch’, where Gus, Meg and Ryan were currently recording live. This was the whole reason we had saved his gamertag, because the fans would surely find out immediately what we were doing.</p><p>“This was a terrible idea,” Ray smirked while we fidgeted.</p><p>“This was <em>your </em>idea,” I grinned back at him. “This is quite literally all your fault for bringing it up.”</p><p>“Nah, it’s Geoff’s, for doing it,” Michael laughed.</p><p>Gavin had followed Geoff with his camera to record the actual button press as the rest of us waited with baited breath. There was a distant shout from him on the way back to the office because while Ryan had been understandably reluctant to do anything at all, Gus had leaned over and pressed ‘A’ on the controller instead. Despite the run back into the room, the change hadn’t yet quite gone through.</p><p>“I should just turn off the Xbox and stop this now,” Ray was saying, smiling but clearly greatly aware of how much of a part he had played in this prank. “I am so sorry I ever said anything.”</p><p>Jeremy, Matt, Kerry and Caleb, upon hearing all of the commotion, stepped through from the side office to see what was happening. With a quick glance at the monitor screen beside me as Geoff held all of the power in his hands in the form of a controller, they very quickly learned what our game was.</p><p>“Shut up, you didn’t see anything,” Michael told them firmly as their expressions turned to amused gasps of shock.</p><p>Because the first time changing your username was free but Ryan had used this before, we were presented with an unexpected payment screen.</p><p>“The least can you do is pay for it,” Michael chuckled to Geoff, who shrugged in agreeance and input his credit card details. Then, for the final time, he hit the ‘A’ button.</p><p>
  <em>‘Done. Your gamertag is now GiveMeYourMilk’.</em>
</p><p>The room exploded with laughter.</p><p>My head was in my hands while Michael quickly snagged ‘BM Vagabond’ as his username on a new account for free. The discussion then began over how Ryan would react, but he was due to be on the Patch for another half hour or so. During this time, oblivious Jack walked in.</p><p>“Oh god, what just happened? What’ve I just walked in on?” he asked upon seeing Gavin filming, tipping him off immediately that there was mischief afoot. As soon as he saw Ryan’s monitor screen, which we had left on the name change page, he simply muttered, “Oh no. Ohhh nooo.”</p><p>Fans had predictably already jumped on the news within minutes as Jeremy showed us the Achievement Hunter Subreddit on his phone where people were posting their mixtures of confusion and amusement at this change, because while there had to have been a huge overlap of people that watched both Achivement Hunter and ‘The Patch’, it was obviously not one-hundred percent. There were people who had Ryan on their friends’ list on Xbox and had seen the username status update, asking why on earth he would pick that to change it to. There were people who had been watching ‘The Patch’ and had simply seen Geoff run on, insist Ryan press ‘A’ and run back off and were trying to investigate why. And then there were people in the middle who had sussed exactly what was really going on: Ryan had ‘got got’.</p><p>“News travels fast!” Gavin stated in response to this as Geoff doubled over with his infectious laughter.</p><p>Selfishly though, I had one thought on my mind right now – yes, news <em>did </em>travel fast. And all of the posts and comments about the odd choice of gamertag change for one of Achievement Hunter’s main seven was overtaking the fan Subreddit, pushing all of the relationship conspiracy and speculation threads regarding me down to the very bottom and off of the front page. Maybe people would finally shut up about my love life now.</p><p>“I had nothing to do with this, Ryan. Don’t hurt me,” Kerry informed the camera while Geoff verbally christened this recording and event as ‘Episode One of Shenanigans’. It was easily the most we’d all collectively laughed in a while, all of us feeling the buzz and apprehension in equal measures as we slowly went back to our individual work. Geoff deliberately hung around talking to Michael in order to witness the fallout.</p><p>A short time later and out of the corner of my eye, Ryan entered the room and sat down heavily on his desk chair before spinning slowly to face outwards into the room to glare at us. I noticed Gavin already nervously filming again because he’d been keeping an eye on the time that the gent was due back in the Achievement Hunter office.</p><p>“Hey, what’s up?” Geoff greeted him casually.</p><p>“Hey,” Ryan said curtly, before raising an eyebrow. “You guys are all fucked, you know that, right?”</p><p>“How was The Patch?”</p><p>Ryan stared at his boss, already privy to what had happened in his absence. “Oh I know. Any of you leave for a second and you’re fucked.” He glanced around with a slightly dangerous smile as he addressed us all, implying that he was now planning to change all of our gamertags in revenge whenever our backs were next turned.</p><p>I tried desperately not to giggle as Geoff immediately threw Gavin under the bus and the lad protested vehemently. Upon Ryan threatening them both with retribution, Geoff then also threw Ray under the same bus.</p><p>“You can change it back!” Geoff laughed as Ryan shook his head.</p><p>“No I can’t, it’s gone.”</p><p>“It’s not gone. Have you tried to change it back?”</p><p>It seemed to dawn on Ryan at that point that we weren’t all <em>that </em>cruel and that one of us may have in fact caught his actual gamertag and had it on standby.</p><p>“To be fair,” Michael smirked as Ryan gave him a very unimpressed look, “Ray wanted to change it to ‘Haywoodyablowme’.”</p><p>“It was taken though, so I’m out,” Ray threw his hands up in defence as Ryan glanced over at him with a look that screamed, ‘Really, this was your idea?’ It was as though if this was going to happen, Ray was the last person he’d blame.</p><p>I couldn’t help it. I started to laugh out loud, earning myself a raised eyebrow from my boyfriend as he seemed to decide that while most of us weren’t directly responsible for this, <em>all </em>of us were culpable for not stopping it.</p><p>Shaking his head with a dark smile that indicated he was probably going to kill us all with the golf club that Michael was currently restlessly holding, Ryan merely stared Geoff down as he attempted to speak between bouts of hysterical laughter.</p><p>“We did make a new show,” Michael tried to placate and explain the point of all of this at the same time.</p><p>“Oh good,” Ryan replied lightly, apparent amusement underlying his irritation. “I hope it was worth it.”</p><p>We all collapsed into laughter again.</p><p>“I’m fine with no work being done in this office for weeks because of this,” Ryan threatened, glancing sideways at me now.</p><p>I blushed a little under his intense gaze at the passing thought that he might take this out on me in the bedroom.</p><p>“Ryan, I tried to stop them,” Jeremy lied loudly, causing me to shoot him a look.</p><p>“Don’t fucking lie, J,” I grinned, calling him out immediately because it gave me the excuse to break eye-contact with Ryan.</p><p>“My heart hurts,” Gavin sighed in between laughing as he clutched his chest.</p><p>“That’s fear, Gavin,” Jeremy replied, probably accurately because Ryan had now turned his unnerving smile on the cameraman of this whole operation.</p><p>“Alright,” Geoff held a hand to his ribs, tears in his eyes, “before Ryan kills us, should we give it back? We saved it.”</p><p>“I figured,” Ryan sighed, turning back around in his chair to reclaim his rightful gamertag. “I didn’t think you guys would be <em>that</em> horrible.”</p><p>There was a short pause as we all tried so hard to stop sniggering and failed miserably.</p><p>“Ten bucks well spent though, wasn’t it?” Gavin asked, but Ryan just chuckled a little.</p><p>“Well it’s gonna be twenty or thirty well spent by the end of this.”</p><p>“I thought it was eight bucks to change a gamertag?” Michael asked with a slight frown, but he was quickly corrected.</p><p>“No, it’s ten now. Believe me,” Ryan said firmly, holding up his phone where his email was open. “I got the <em>receipt</em>.”</p><p>Gavin cut the recording off there as the rest of us howled with laughter, but in her quest to figure out what had happened, Meg walked in.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?” she asked Geoff, sounding not so much mad as curious about his unexpected appearance on ‘The Patch’. “What did you guys do?”</p><p>“These fuckers changed my username on Xbox to ‘Give Me Your Milk’,” Ryan replied, his back to her as he went through the process of getting ‘BM Vagabond’ back, using his boss’ credit card to pay for it.</p><p>Not understanding the joke, Meg frowned. “Why?”</p><p>“Because it’s funny,” Gavin said quietly, still snickering but clearly slightly afraid that the older man still might turn around at any second and decide that he actually <em>was </em>going to hurt him after all.</p><p>“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked her, nodding over to the door to indicate that I meant in private.</p><p>“Sure!” she chirped, turning as I followed her out. She looked stunning today in her monotone Black Milk leggings and loose black t-shirt, her hair freshly dyed bright red as of a few days ago. Despite being only five-foot-two, she was wearing heeled boots so high that she currently matched my height at five-foot-six. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Made any bets lately?” I pried casually.</p><p>She fixed me with a smug smile, obviously knowing exactly what I was referring to. “No, but Gavin told me you’re dating <em>Ryan</em> as well as Geoff.”</p><p>“I thought as much,” I shrugged. I’d told him that he could because she already knew about Geoff and I considered her a friend since we’d bonded in Australia. “I just wanted to know if you knew.”</p><p>As far as I was concerned, the conversation topic was over but she folded her arms, raising her eyebrows at me. She was only a couple of years older but sometimes I felt like that gap was a little bigger because she came across as so authoritative at times. Perhaps it was just her high level of confidence.</p><p>“Really though? Ryan?”</p><p>I blinked. “Yeah…why?”</p><p>Her brow furrowed a little, as though in confusion. “But…he’s such a <em>dad.” </em></p><p>“I mean…” I paused, unsure what she was getting at. “Yeah, he has kids…”</p><p>Promptly shaking her head, she grinned. “No, that’s not what I mean. I mean…he dresses and acts so much like a dad. I’m not saying he reminds me of <em>my </em>dad, but…isn’t he kinda old for you?”</p><p>I smiled because I had seen an entirely different side of him than she or most people ever had. “No.”</p><p>“Ohhh, wait…unless you’re into that. And that’s okay! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to judge you or anything,” she amended. “But…<em>Ryan?” </em></p><p>“You have got to stop doing that, Meg,” I told her with a giggle. “I love how you’re more fixated on my dating Ryan than Geoff who is five years older than him, by the way.”</p><p>Tilting her head to the side, she considered this. “Yeah, but Geoff is sort of ‘cool’. He’s not your typical dad figure, right? I can see how women might like that, with the tattoos and the humour.”</p><p>“You don’t think Ryan’s good-looking?” I asked curiously. “Objectively, I mean. I know you don’t see him like that.”</p><p>“Well…I guess, but he’s not my type at all,” she answered. “I never imagined he’d be <em>your</em> type though. Maybe like…Trevor. Or Jeremy.”</p><p>It was funny that she had said this; a few times I had found myself musing my strong attraction to both Geoff and Ryan considering the two handsome guys around my actual age that Meg had just mentioned. Trevor was tall, chiselled, intelligent and charming, which previously had been exactly the kind of guy I’d have gone for. Ten years ago I know I would have crushed on him hard because coincidently, Ian physically shared a lot of his features. I was beginning to wonder if I really did have ‘daddy issues’ as Steffie had put it, but that was certainly no insult to Ryan or Geoff; regardless of age, I found the two of them incredibly sexy.</p><p>“I guess I’m into older guys,” I shrugged. “I’ve been happier with either one of them than I ever was with my ex and he was my age.”</p><p>“Interesting,” Meg commented, taking my hand and leading me to the nearby kitchen area where the tables were. “So, Ry’s always really cagey about his personal life. I want the gossip.”</p><p>“You do?” I asked, exasperated because I hadn’t expected her to react like this and if anything, she knew him almost as well as I did.</p><p>“Yes! I bet he’s a dark horse, right?” she grinned, watching me for my reaction.</p><p>I had to remind myself <em>how</em> well she knew Ryan in case she said anything that hit even close to the mark, because I was a terrible liar and I definitely wasn’t comfortable with her knowing the entire truth.</p><p>“I guess…” I stuck to being honest. “He’s really sweet though.” I recalled how he would hold me gently after even the roughest of sex, how he had fetched me water out of caring for my wellbeing and how he would stroke my hair with love in his eyes often.</p><p>“I figured,” she nodded. “Do you guys have pet names for each other?”</p><p>“Uh…” Well, I certainly wasn’t going to admit that the last nickname he’d called me was ‘whore’ in the heat of the moment. “I call him Rye-bread occasionally. I know you do that too though, so I dunno if that counts.”</p><p>“It counts, I just don’t say it with <em>affection</em>,” she laughed. “Wait, do you love him? Has he said it to you?”</p><p>I sighed with a smile, recalling how he’d told me that he’d loved me for the first time while I’d been in hospital. “Yes.”</p><p>She drew breath with a grin. “Oh my god that’s adorable. Aw you guys! Doesn’t he get on your nerves though? He’s so particular and argumentative sometimes…”</p><p>“Not really,” I answered. “We just sort of…get along.” I didn’t mention that this was probably because I was so naturally submissive. I wouldn’t hesitate in life to stand up for myself, but the dynamic between Ryan and I was a little different to say the least.</p><p>“I’d better get back to work,” I gestured towards the office door. “Don’t tell everyone, okay?”</p><p>“’Mum’s the word’, as Gav would say,” she beamed, presumably meaning that she was going to keep it quiet. “I’d better go too, I need something from the bang closet anyway.”</p><p>I frowned, standing up to leave. “You need something from the what now?”</p><p>“Oh, the bang closet,” she replied lightly. “Ashley heard some people banging in there the other day and Gus said he did too.”</p><p>My heart began to thud as I tried to act surprised rather than embarrassed. “Do they know who?”</p><p>“No,” Meg bit her lip. “But there aren’t many people here that it could be, right? I mean, you guys would notice if Michael and Lindsay disappeared from the office, right? And it wasn’t me and Gav.”</p><p>“Sure,” I nodded, not liking at all where this was going.</p><p>“And it wasn’t Ashley and Burnie because Ashley wouldn’t have mentioned it if it was her,” Meg continued, thinking. “Everyone else-“ She stopped abruptly.</p><p>“No,” I stated firmly, needing to deflect this <em>fast</em>. “No.”</p><p>“It was you, wasn’t it?” she gasped as I tried to shut her up.</p><p>“No, no it wasn’t,” I hissed, cringing a little.</p><p>“It was! Oh my god!” Meg grinned in realisation, her eyes wide as she instantly saw right through me. “I won’t tell anyone, but Jesus you were really getting railed in there huh?”</p><p>I hid my face in my hands because she really didn’t beat around the bush when it came to conversations with her.</p><p>“It had to have been Ryan because when I was talking to Ashley a little later, she told me Geoff had been in a meeting with Burnie,” Meg pieced it together aloud. “Fucking hell, I didn’t know he had it in him.”</p><p>“You have no idea,” I mumbled into my hands, wishing that the ground would swallow me up whole.</p><p>“Huh, I guess he really is a true red-blooded American,” she relented as I dared to look at her again, my cheeks flushed. “Aw, I won’t tell anyone. Relax, it’s cool. He’s such a piece of shit for not telling me he was dating you this whole time though, goddammit. I asked him <em>so many</em> times when I got him into decent clothes for that date and he still wouldn’t tell me!”</p><p>“How long…I mean…did you hear…I mean…” I stuttered in response to this.</p><p>“A couple of seconds, I didn’t have time to stop and listen to the whole thing,” Meg smirked. “Sorry.”</p><p>“No that’s…okay,” I muttered, staring at the ceiling and wishing that I could be struck by lightning or something. I had no idea why this was more embarrassing for me than Gus almost certainly knowing what had happened, but perhaps it was the idea that she’d actually <em>heard</em> me during my most vulnerable that was my issue, while Gus merely strongly suspected (and was correct).</p><p>With incredible timing, Ryan strolled out of the office as though he’d sensed on some level that two women nearby were having a conversation about him. He saw my flushed face and Meg’s smug one and before I could give him any kind of warning or heads up, she was already being fully upfront with him.</p><p>“You <em>dog!” </em>she punched his arm. “All these years you’ve led me to believe you’re just this weird dad geek and you’re actually out here getting it on!”</p><p>There was a pause as Ryan glanced between us, confusion in his ice blue eyes. “What?”</p><p>“She heard us in the closet,” I informed him, anxiously clenching my fists. “So did Ashley and Gus, but only Meg figured out who it was.”</p><p>To my surprise, he began to laugh, causing me to stare at him in disbelief. How was this funny?</p><p>“Honestly, Meg knowing is not the worst thing,” he reassured me in amusement, reaching to place a hand on my shoulder. “Imagine the teasing we’d get if Michael or Jack had heard instead.”</p><p>This hadn’t occurred to me but of course he was right. It wasn’t that we’d get into trouble if that had happened, but they wouldn’t let it die <em>ever </em>and my embarrassment would have been triple what it currently was.</p><p>“Oh I’m still going to rip on you,” Meg assured Ryan with a giggle. “Don’t get me wrong there, buddy.”</p><p>Of all of the people that I knew in relation to him, Meg was by far the one to call him out the most. Perhaps it was because he expected it from her, but constantly would she have him up for being overly meticulous, opinionated or unfair whenever that arose. She had no hesitation whatsoever about pointing out his flaws and poking fun of him while most other people didn’t seem to dare.</p><p>“Hey, y’know what though? Now we can double-date!” she gasped suddenly as Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Me and Gav and then you two!”</p><p>“No,” Ryan said firmly but he was smiling at this jump in conversation.</p><p>“Aw come on! It’ll be fun; you two come over, we can share cute dating stories, order food and watch movies. We can get donuts, Ry!” she attempted to entice him. “You know you want to. You want the donuts.”</p><p>“That could be fun,” I shrugged, watching the interesting dynamic between the two of them as Ryan smirked at her before shooting me a slightly bemused look.</p><p>“You want to spend more time than you have to with Gavin?”</p><p>“He’s not so bad, you don’t really dislike him,” I grinned, knowing this to be true. “Plus - don’t you have a cat, Meg?”</p><p>“Yes, you can both meet Smee! He’s such a friendly kitty, he’ll love you if you pet him a little. He’ll just lay on you,” she told us as I watched Ryan sigh a little. “He might chew your stuff though. He chews everything.”</p><p>“Awwww!” I beamed. Kids were not my thing, but animals? Give me animals any day of the week.</p><p>With both of us staring at him now, he seemed to be struggling to put his foot down.</p><p>“Say yes,” Meg told him persistently.</p><p>“Fine,” Ryan groaned, finally giving in. “But we’re getting <em>so many</em> donuts. And I get to choose the food, too.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Discoveries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You &amp; Ryan hang out with Gavin &amp; Meg. You’re starting to doubt your sexuality a little.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>1) Explicit Sexual Content – about halfway down</b><br/>2) Implied Reader/Meg Turney in this chapter. Most of it is via a dream and is only brief.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Gavin shuffled a little uncomfortably as I settled down beside him on Meg’s sofa, his current demeanour not one that represented his usual laid back self. I knew exactly why this was but Ryan seemed to be delighting in not making it any easier for him.</p><p>“You’re so awkward around me,” he grinned, watching Gavin’s cheeks pinken.</p><p>“Well it’s weird you being here, Ryan,” he replied a little insolently while Meg giggled and relaxed down on the sofa to our right with a donut topped with sprinkles between her fingers. “We never hang out outside of work.”</p><p>“We’ve done that plenty of times,” Ryan shot back with a raise of his eyebrow, but if he was referring to Australia then the lad had a point – this wasn’t the same.</p><p>“I mean…just…like <em>this</em>,” Gavin tried to explain as he gestured to the three of us. “Not in so much of a group. This is more…personal.”</p><p>Ryan looked amused. “So what you’re saying is that you don’t like me.”</p><p>With a laugh, Gavin retaliated. “No, I like you but it’s just weird you being <em>here, </em>with me, in Meg’s house.”</p><p>With an action movie on television in the background that we’d all seen before and a huge box of iced treats on the coffee table before us, we were scattered comfortably around Meg’s living room with the lights on low to provide better viewing. It was a Wednesday evening and the rain was beating against the windows as it stormed outside, creating the perfect cosy atmosphere.</p><p>With a soft mewl, a gorgeous cat of various shades of brown hopped up on to my legs, making me jump a little. He was soft to the touch and was gazing at me curiously as though sizing me up with his light blue eyes.</p><p>“Smee!” I squeaked happily as he nuzzled my hand affectionately before getting a whiff of my donut-scented fingers as he began to lick at them. “Aww, you’re such a handsome boy!”</p><p>“Don’t feel too complimented, he’s just trying to eat you,” Meg grinned, observing her cat. “I’m surprised at Penny though, she normally has more energy than this.”</p><p>Not one to be left out, her small light brown dog was sleeping with her head on Ryan’s lap, the both of them looking decidedly comfortable relaxing back in a large beanbag chair.</p><p>Ryan petted the dog’s head lazily. “I guess I have a calming effect on animals.”</p><p>“Ironic,” Gavin chipped in.</p><p>“My ex-wife is a vet. We used to have pets,” Ryan shrugged, reaching for another donut and doing his best not to disturb the sleepy dachshund.</p><p>I scratched Smee between his ears, causing him to start vibrating as he purred contently. “I’d love to get a pet, but my apartment building doesn’t allow them. This is a nice place though, no wonder Gavin’s basically moved in.”</p><p>“Well he hasn’t yet,” Meg smiled. “Ry-Ry, how many donuts are you actually going to eat? Am I gonna have to get up to get the other box?”</p><p>I watched Ryan stop dead with one halfway into his mouth before continuing anyway, albeit a little sheepishly. “Hey, this is my payment for my presence.” He was clearly joking, but Meg pretended to be offended and pouted playfully.</p><p>“Wow, I can’t believe you didn’t come to spend quality time with Gavin,” I poked fun as the lad hit me in the arm gently and my boyfriend chuckled.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’re dating Ryan,” Gavin grinned back at me.</p><p>I rolled my eyes a bit, giggling. “Why does everybody seem so surprised by that fact?”</p><p>“Because he’s weird!” The Brit leaned across me to stroke Smee.</p><p>“Maybe I like weird,” I smirked in response.</p><p>Meg smiled mysteriously. “Hm, so does Gavin.”</p><p>I reached for a pink iced donut too, deflecting Smee gently as I did so with my arm because he definitely wasn’t allowed to have something so bad for him. “What weird things does Gavin like?” She had piqued my curiosity.</p><p>She looked for a moment like she was contemplating and I noticed Gavin turn a little red in the short silence.</p><p>Ryan brushed some crumbs off of his lap and said casually, “What, like being told what to do? You’re pretty bossy.”</p><p>Throwing a small decorative square cushion at him, Meg laughed. “Alright, shut up.”</p><p>He smirked at being proven right as he ducked. “See?”</p><p>With slight daring, I added to the conversation. “Do you let her tell you what to do in the bedroom, too?”</p><p>Making fun of Gavin was often fun in the sense that he would easily brush it off, give it back in spades and not take anything to heart because he knew we liked him really underneath all the banter. But this comment seemed to strike a chord because the look he gave me suddenly made me feel like I might as well have just slapped him. It was one that emanated embarrassment mixed with surprise, possibly because he had no idea how to respond straight away.</p><p>“Oh hell <em>yeah</em> he does,” Meg grinned, sounding as though she might be kidding but not making it clear.</p><p>“Really?” Ryan cocked an eyebrow at her inquisitively.</p><p>“To be honest, Gav, I don’t blame you,” I told him whilst patting his thigh, feeling guilty because I hadn’t realised that he would react this way. I’d expected him to laugh, throw it back, maybe make a joke out of it. “Meg’s hot. <em>I’d </em>do as she said in the bedroom.”</p><p>The look of surprise on Ryan’s face was priceless as Meg laughed good-naturedly at my odd form of compliment.</p><p>Finally able to latch on to something as he formed a comeback, Gavin chuckled. “A lot of people would pay to see that. Not that I see you that way, [Y/N]. I wouldn’t, but some people would. Maybe Ryan.”</p><p>I broke into giggles as Meg leaned in to me and pretended to get all intimate by stroking my arm. I reciprocated by putting a hand on her cheek, noticing that while Gavin gawped, Ryan was staring in somewhat disbelief.</p><p>“No, I’m good,” Ryan shook his head, looking amused.</p><p>“I think we’re making them uncomfortable,” she laughed while I nodded in agreement, the two of us still a little entwined. “Maybe we should take this upstairs so we’re not doing it in front of <em>Dad</em>.”</p><p>This tickled me on a whole new level because while Meg absolutely didn’t mean this nickname on the same level that I immediately thought of it on and he didn’t perceive it that way either coming from her,  it still had an effect as I observed Ryan’s cheeks going pink.  </p><p>“Mhm, maybe we should,” I smiled, still continuing with the joke as I watched Gavin look at the older man across from him in bewilderment.</p><p>“I thought you were straight?” the lad pointed out to me whilst laughing a little.</p><p>I was as far as I knew, but this was far too much fun. “Not for Meg. Meg can do whatever she likes to me.”</p><p>“Aw, that’s so cute!” Meg beamed. “You can be my other submissive to tie up when Gavin’s not here!”</p><p>I noticed Ryan immediately shoot her a questioning look whilst panic danced in Gavin’s eyes at her words on my other side.</p><p>Suddenly seeming to realise what she had just admitted to, she made no attempt to backpedal but instead simply muttered, “Shit.” She let go of me, hiding her face in her hands for a couple of seconds. “Ryan, if you tell <em>anyone </em>about what I just said about Gav<em>, </em>I will lynch you.”</p><p>“Who would I tell?” Ryan asked, seeming genuinely surprised by this revelation but not acting particularly differently. “It’s not an uncommon fetish, anyway.”</p><p>“It’s really not,” I added, wanting to be reassuring because the poor Brit was looking sheepish and a little worried.</p><p>“I just always thought...it was less common that way around,” Gavin mumbled with a shrug.</p><p>“It’s not a big deal,” Ryan continued matter-of-factly. “Surrendering control to someone sexually doesn’t mean that you have to be entirely obsequious to them in daily life and it doesn’t void you of your independence as a person. I’m not about to start demanding that [Y/N] makes me food and washes my dishes. I’m sure you guys have a line you’ve agreed on too.”</p><p>It was my turn to blush a little now. “Exactly,” I replied as Gavin gazed at me with wide eyes because I had just been outed to like a similar thing that he did.</p><p>“So I guess you guys roleplay too?” Meg said lightly with a grin now that the conversation had spiralled so heavily off the rails. “<em>Don’t </em>even fucking answer that Ry, that was rhetorical.”</p><p>Ryan smirked. “Alright.”</p><p>The film carried on in the background as we all attempted to overcome the taboo that we’d just brought up. I felt entirely to blame as the one to first bring it to a place that was inappropriate but as much as it weirded me out to think of Gavin in that way, it didn’t really surprise me that much to learn that Meg took control of him like she’d just admitted to doing. In a very different way than Ryan, she had an air about her that exuded loving to be in charge.</p><p>But something had suddenly clicked in my mind as I remembered Ellie. Had he had a Dominant/submissive relationship with her too? Was <em>that </em>why she had been so possessive? She was without a doubt still crazy and her actions had been inexcusable, but more about their past relationship suddenly made sense if Gavin was ‘doing as he was told’ and had simply been wanting to please her constantly, sexually or otherwise. Her words, “you can’t have him” while she stood there in the bedroom pointing a gun at me had suddenly been put into a different context.</p><p>I also wondered if this went deeper; was that why Ryan had always made Gavin nervous? Perhaps he was more susceptible to the general vibes of people who confidently took charge and therefore instinctually submitted without really knowing he was doing it, whether he was sexually attracted to that person or not. It would certainly explain a lot and I could definitely empathise with this because I was much the same way - I had a certain amount of confidence but at heart I was a people-pleaser.</p><p>Moving Smee on to Gavin’s lap as I stood up to go to the bathroom, it came to my attention for the first time that Ryan was messing with his phone and possibly had been for a little while. Trailing upstairs and across to the bathroom, I pulled out my own phone that I’d put into silent mode for the movie, tapping on the new message.</p><p>
  <em>‘Guess I’d better hurry up and buy you that new collar before Meg steals you ;)’</em>
</p><p>A smile crept on to my face as I replied back, <em>‘She won’t, don’t worry.’</em></p><p>I washed my hands as my phone lit up with a response. I glanced over at it on the side, distractedly.</p><p>
  <em>‘Good. We should go soon, storm’s getting worse.’</em>
</p><p>He was right. The rain outside hadn’t stopped and was actually getting heavier. I really should have seen the inevitable coming, but my mind was still preoccupied with the unexpected conversation from downstairs amongst the four of us so the loud crack of thunder caught me completely off guard. In a second, my heart jumped into my throat and sent my anxiety into overdrive.  </p><p>Gripping the edge of the sink, I stared into the round mirror above it. “I’m okay,” I whispered, taking a deep breath while my stomach twisted itself into a knot.</p><p>Back downstairs, Gavin and Ryan were discussing games they had been playing in their spare time recently while Meg pottered about in the kitchen, fetching drinks. As I padded back in Penny sniffed around my ankles with her tail wagging, having woken up now.</p><p>“Hey, we’re all out of diet Coke,” Meg called through. “D’you want something else?”</p><p>“Nah, I’m good,” Ryan replied, before Gavin pressed play on a video he was showing him.</p><p>I reached down to ruffle Penny’s ears as she tried to lick my face happily while Meg walked back through with cans of Sprite fresh from the fridge. She placed them on the table right as another clap of thunder rang out, louder than the last.</p><p>Before anyone could register that I had jumped, I crossed the room and was in Ryan’s lap in seconds. He was settled in the beanbag at about a forty-five degree angle, meaning that I could essentially half-lay on him and curl up into him.  </p><p>“Whoa, heyyy,” he grinned, not realising immediately why I’d decided to sit on him, but when he saw my anxious expression he frowned a little. “What’s up?”</p><p>“The storm,” I said by way of explanation, snuggling up to him.</p><p>I felt a gentle hand in my hair, comfortingly stroking as he continued his conversation with Gavin over the Destiny video the two of them were watching. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing as Meg made a little ‘aww!’ noise at me. I wished I was calmer, but this was definitely helping.</p><p>The sound of droplets hitting the window panes wasn’t what bothered me - I actually liked rain to some extent. It was the unexpected crash of noise that would also light up the sky seconds beforehand that freaked me the hell out, my heart rate rocketing as it happened again. Ryan felt me flinch in his arms this time, diverting his attention entirely to me.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” he murmured down to me, pulling me even closer. “You’re safe.”</p><p>“I just hate thunder,” I mumbled as he stroked the hair right behind the shell of my ear, sending pleasant goosebumps down the back of my neck. “What if we can’t drive back in this?”</p><p>“You guys can stay here,” Meg offered. She was standing by the drawn curtain of the living room window, gazing out at the blurred, dark view outside. “It doesn’t look good out there and I’ve got a spare room.”</p><p>After a pause, Ryan nodded. “Okay, thanks. I’m not getting us into a car wreck.” His hand trailed down to the back of my neck now, caressing the skin there while I nestled against his chest. I wasn’t sure if he was moving his hand randomly or not but it felt nice all the same.</p><p>Smee had vanished prompting Gavin to get up and look for him, worried for his wellbeing because thunder didn’t mix well with animals either. Penny whined a little and trotted over to Meg, who picked the small dog up for a hug.</p><p>“I love watching storms because they can be spectacular, but I don’t like how it upsets my pets,” she sighed, somewhat rocking Penny who was still whimpering.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m the same way. I usually watch them too,” Ryan replied as another clap of thunder struck.</p><p>I jolted again, gripping a handful of his t-shirt as resentment that it affected me this much clenched at me.</p><p>His voice was quiet, barely audible to anyone but me. “Shhhh, I’m here. I’ve got you. Look at me.”</p><p>Slowly, I did so. He was looking slightly mystified by my fear, but his eyes were full of compassion anyway.</p><p>“Good girl. Breathe.”</p><p>I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart rate back to a reasonable level while I became aware of Meg seating herself on the sofa once more. I didn’t even care if she was watching or listening - Ryan was my rock at the moment and as he ran a hand through my hair softly once more, he smiled a little.</p><p>Unable to help myself, I smiled back as Gavin re-entered.</p><p>“I found Smee, he was under your bed,” he told Meg. “He’s okay.”</p><p>“Meanwhile, this has been going on,” she grinned, gesturing in our direction out of the corner of my eye.</p><p>“Ugh,” Gavin replied, to our amusement. “Get a room.”</p><p>I sat up a little to kiss Ryan’s lips sweetly in thanks for his moral support as the storm raged on outside.</p><p>Completely ignoring the lad’s comment, the man holding me in his arms murmured, “I know you hate this storm but you’re really cute right now.”</p><p>My cheeks warmed while Gavin immediately made a joke out of this statement.</p><p>“Ryan never tells <em>me</em> I’m cute.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you that if you want, ya big dork,” Meg laughed, pulling him close to her by his hand.</p><p>The television and lights flickered and died in the next moment, landing us all in darkness. There was a loud bark of surprise from Penny before Meg cursed loudly and ambled off with her phone’s flash on as a torch to find candles. The pitter-patter of tiny dog claws on the hardwood floor echoed in the quiet as her dachshund followed her.</p><p>“Well at least I’m not afraid of the dark,” I muttered.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>The bar was dimly lit with strange modern sculptures everywhere and a shiny black tiled floor that had inset chips of something sparkly. The neon lights cast a pink and blue glow over certain areas as people walked amongst others in pairs or small groups, the thumping background music present but not overwhelming as the babble of conversations could be heard. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was nervous, wearing nothing but a strappy, short dress that hugged my figure as I became aware of someone kissing lightly along my bare shoulder from behind me. Turning my head, I smiled as Geoff tugged lightly on the narrow leather collar that encircled my neck while he whispered, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You look gorgeous.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wearing a very dapper black suit with his white shirt unbuttoned at the collar, he moved to stand before me, reaching to stroke my hair as he looked appraisingly at me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You won’t let anyone else have me tonight, right?” I asked quietly, nervously watching him as he took my hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No. They only get to watch,” he reassured me, leading me over to the middle of the room where there stood a table with restraints attached, amongst other various bondage equipment. “Lay down, sweetheart.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course I did as I was told, but I was also a little intimidated by my surroundings as the chattering around me died down while the strangers watched on. This was clearly not a normal club. Geoff was fastening the padded cuffs to my ankles and wrists, already giving the public a show because my dress was riding up and I was lacking any sort of underwear. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What if I can’t do this?” I asked, suddenly feeling the full weight of my self-consciousness while Geoff stroked along my thigh gently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This was your idea,” he smirked, fiddling now with the straps of my dress. It was then that I realised it was ribbon-tied all the way down my side, meaning that as he pulled at it, the entire thing fell away from my body and left me totally bare.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It was?” I didn’t remember suggesting this as Ryan strolled into view wearing a black button-up shirt and dark jeans, his eyes fixed on my naked form.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It was,” he confirmed, running a finger lightly along my collarbone. “And now you’re going to show everyone how pretty you look getting fucked and played with for the next hour.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was already feeling vulnerable but this seemed to be a whole step further as I watched Geoff pick up a clear, ribbed glass dildo before gliding it along the inside of my thigh. I squirmed because it was cold, but I was also already wet at the prospect of giving myself over to the two of them despite where we were.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“An hour?” I gasped, feeling Geoff press the rounded glass toy against my pussy and penetrating me gently. It was still extremely cold but felt strangely nice as he reached the limit of how deep it would go before easing it back out to give me time to adjust. Being made of such a hard material, it had absolutely no give to it at all and I was very aware of this as I clenched involuntarily. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Relax,” Ryan soothed, observing this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I loosened up, making a small mewling noise as Geoff began to move the toy more persistently, the ribs along it causing a new unique feeling of pleasure internally. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t be shy,” Geoff smirked. “Moan louder for your audience.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He increased the pace, forcing me to make more noise as the pleasure intensified. It lacked the intimacy of it physically being either one of them inside me but at the same time I was losing myself in the clear control they had as they focused entirely on my body, their actions calculated as they took cues from one another. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It wasn’t long before my nipples were clamped with the pretty purple chain hanging between the alligator clips, the onlookers still gazing steadily at me from every angle and a lot of them very clearly aroused despite being fully clothed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Keep nice and still,” Geoff was telling me, because I was writhing a little at the absence of the glass toy as he withdrew it. “And lick this clean.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Subserviently I opened wide, watching him insert the toy into my mouth gently while he took deliberate care not to hit my teeth with it. The taste of myself was never something I’d considered to be unpleasant and the fact that the both of them seemed so aroused by it was what I particularly enjoyed about doing this. So I sucked on it lightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Y’know what I would do now?” came a female voice that sounded familiar. She was outside of my peripheral but both Ryan and Geoff glanced at her as though seriously considering her opinion. She was wearing heels as she clip-clopped her way around near my head. “I’d put that toy right back into her cute ass.”</em>
</p><p><em> “Meg?” I gasped, shocked at her presence and suddenly feeling self-conscious again because she was someone I </em>knew. <em>Strangers, I would never see again, but I would see her all the time at work; wasn’t this going to make things a whole new level of awkward?</em></p><p>
  <em>“Yeah,” she smiled, walking into my view wearing skin-tight leggings and a dark red strappy keyhole cut-out top. “You look fucking hot, by the way.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Doesn’t she?” Ryan smirked, lightly tugging on the chain between my breasts, eliciting a moan from me at the stimulation to my nipples. He was looking at me as though he knew something that I didn’t. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We know you want her,” Geoff told me, smiling as he leaned to kiss my abdomen softly. “It’s okay.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I…I don’t…I-“ I stammered, watching as Meg leaned down to kiss my lips. She smelled good and tasted even better because of her strawberry lip gloss as I felt her hand stroke down to my crotch.</em>
</p><p>I jolted awake, tangled in duvet and confused by my immediate surroundings as I rolled over a little. Then I jumped again violently, because Ryan was laying sideways watching me in the moonlight as I slowly remembered that we had stayed over and were in Meg’s guest room. The storm had obviously subsided if the sky was clear enough for the moon to brighten the room slightly as it slipped through the gap in the curtains.</p><p>“Heyyy,” he smirked, saying no more as he watched me sit up and become acutely aware of how aroused I was from the dream in only panties.</p><p>“Why are you watching me sleep? What time is it?” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes a little.</p><p>“It’s late. You were moaning in your sleep,” he replied quietly, sitting up too and encircling me with his arms from the side. “I woke up wondering if you were having a nightmare because you were moving so much, but I don’t think that was a nightmare.”</p><p>Biting my lip, I hesitated. I had no idea what I’d even just dreamt; since when was I into being an exhibitionist? Since when was I sexually attracted to Meg? Or <em>women? </em>Arguably, I had already been so turned on that her appearance could have merely meant nothing and it was just a way for my brain to deal with the fact that she had recently learned I liked to be submissive. Or perhaps the whole being-naked-in-public was all just my brain’s way of dealing with the fact that I’d felt somewhat like my love life had been on show recently and it was presenting me with a literal scenario. Except…I’d been enjoying it, being exposed and vulnerable in front of a small crowd that had clearly been appreciating the show.</p><p>“No,” I admitted. “It wasn’t a nightmare.”</p><p>There was a pause in which Ryan softly kissed my neck, obviously interested. “Are you going to give me details or am I going to have to pry it out of you?”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Cherished</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan utterly surprises you in the best way. The last working day before the office party day winds up being an excuse to mess around with your colleagues.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Small Amount Of Sexual Content</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>His hands were still caressing my skin, his lips warm against my neck as I tilted my head to the side a little.</p><p>“Uhm…” Deciding to be honest but also being completely upfront about my not knowing where the hell it had even come from, I detailed the dream for him in full right up until Meg’s appearance which I omitted. I really wasn’t sure I should mention that at all given how possessive he was over me, not to mention that fact that <em>I</em> was still confused by it myself.</p><p>Seeming to be absorbing what I’d just said, Ryan only breathed against my skin gently for a minute as he held me. “Interesting…”</p><p>I shuffled a little sheepishly. “I guess…I’m not really sure I’d be okay with the exhibitionism for real, though. I’m pretty self-conscious.”</p><p>“Hm…as long as nobody else but Geoff was allowed to actually touch you, I could probably get into it with the toy idea,” Ryan smiled, nibbling my earlobe now in a somewhat teasing way. “Especially if it got you that hot. You shouldn’t feel so self-conscious, you’re great.”</p><p>Guiltily I sighed, accepting his sweet compliment but also feeling awful keeping things from him as thoughts of Meg’s lips on mine and her hand sliding downwards on my body flashed before my eyes. “I mean…I still don’t know how I was able to go through with it, even in a dream.”</p><p>“Mhm, well…” Ryan stroked down my bare side as he thought about this, sending slight tingles through me. “You were just doing as you were told, right? Being told what to do seems to calm you when we take charge over you in sexual situations, I’ve noticed. Maybe it gave you the ability to ignore everything else around you because you were trusting us to carry you through.”</p><p>I hadn’t looked at this way, but perhaps he was right.</p><p>“There’s a clear separation between you being in public naked with two people you trust unconditionally and being interacted with by strangers that you don’t know,” he continued. “There’s your line, right?”</p><p>I tried to picture it for real, with a faceless dozen or so people watching as I lay exposed. The idea rose apprehension within me but at the same time, I couldn’t deny the point that Ryan and Geoff being there would be like a strange sort of comfort blanket. Knowing that they would protect me while the audience watched on for their own pleasure was sort of a thrilling prospect, though from the standpoint that we were internet personalities it could never happen of course.</p><p>“There’s one other thing I need to ask you about, though,” he whispered in the relative darkness. “At one point you mumbled Meg’s name in your sleep. Was she there too?”</p><p>Ah, fuck. Well, I wasn’t going to lie to him now.</p><p>“Briefly,” I confessed. “You guys…you let her kiss me and she had her hand between my legs. Geoff was implying that I wanted her.”</p><p>His grip on me tightened a little as he froze up ever so slightly. Perhaps he had been expecting me to tell him that she had merely watched or something, but I didn’t want to deceive him now that he already knew half of it.</p><p>“I don’t know why she was even there,” I whispered truthfully. “Maybe it’s just because we were messing about earlier and for some reason, my subconscious decided to insert her into my dream state.”</p><p>Ryan didn’t answer right away but when he did, his voice was oddly strained. “Did it turn you on when she touched you?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Ry,” I replied with a small shrug. “You guys already had me horny as hell. I mean, she’s really pretty but...I was <em>already</em> aroused.”</p><p>“She is,” he agreed. “But I’m asking if you felt sexually attracted to her.”</p><p>Considering this, I allowed my mind to revisit the dream, imagining if Meg had continued along the path she had been treading, brushing her fingers against where I was now soaked and smiling down at me while she teased and told me in no uncertain terms to submit to her too while everyone watched.</p><p>I buried my face in my hands in confusion as I felt increasingly aroused at the thought. “Maybe. She was rubbing me and being generally as domineering as you and Geoff, but maybe that was just a response to being dominated. Does that bother you?” I was worried, because he was acting a little strange right now.</p><p>“It’s a little weird,” he answered after a moment. “I’m very aware of the fact that she sees me as a parent figure, so I’ve always pushed my thinking she’s attractive to the back of my mind because nothing can or will ever happen. And I’m okay with that, honestly. But…now I’m struggling because of what you’ve just told me. Now all I can think about is you both together in that scenario.”</p><p>I processed this, unsurprised by his admission. I didn’t expect him to not be attracted to anyone else while he was with me after all – that would be grossly unfair and unrealistic to expect. And of all people, Meg was stunning; how could I possibly blame him? Not to mention the fact that I’d just sort of admitted the same thing.</p><p>“Huh,” I said, unsure what to say. He was only human after all and I wasn’t really the jealous type, because I trusted him. “I mean…that’s okay…”</p><p>“It’s not,” he groaned a little, rubbing his eyes with his palms. “She’s become like a little sister or something to me over the time I’ve known her. I don’t want to go there in my mind with her, I can’t.”</p><p>“Is it kind of like having a crush on your step mom?” I asked jokingly, making up a ridiculous scenario that I was sure was probably true for someone out there. “You’re not supposed to see them like that so you supress it and go into denial?”</p><p>He cracked up laughing at this, clutching his chest for breath while I giggled at his response as he lay back down and pulled me down into his arms with him.</p><p>“I guess it is, kinda,” he grinned, humour in his eyes in the pale moonlight as I gazed at him adoringly. “I don’t have a problem with you crushing on her but do me a favour and don’t detail any more dreams you have involving her, okay? I already feel like I’m going straight to hell after what my brain just showed me involving you both.”</p><p>I kissed along his shoulder lightly, smiling. “Gotcha. Although…you’re going to hell anyway. We all are. Hey, Ry?”</p><p>“That’s probably true,” he replied, his palm going to my cheek gently. “What?”</p><p>I’d woken right up at the discussion of all of this, no longer tired in the slightest and only left with an ache that was down to having had no actual real gratification despite my mind tricking me into thinking I had. Recounting it had only made me worse and now I was unable to help myself as I trailed a hand down his chest to the waistband of his boxer briefs.</p><p>“How sleepy are you?” I inquired, now kissing up to his neck softly as he so often did to me.</p><p>With a small chuckle at my obvious advances he sat up a little and pushed me down gently, straddling me before leaning down to meet my lips with his in such a tender kiss that I quietly moaned a little into it. This, coupled with every stroke of his hand on my skin being more of a caress was the exact opposite of what I’d come to expect from him in the bedroom.</p><p>His kisses weren’t possessive, there was no clawing at me with dominance, no calling me dirty pet names and pinning me to the bed. There was only his lips on my flesh, moving to my jawline, to my throat, to my breasts. Even then he didn’t bite or nip, only licked lightly at my nipple. I arched a little, feeling him shift to slip my panties down my thighs and off before running his fingers back through my hair and kissing my lips once again, a little more passionately now but with no roughness to be found.</p><p>This was different, unexpected.</p><p>His hand slipped down between us, stroking between my legs lightly and causing me to groan at the welcome pleasure while he continued to kiss me. I needed no foreplay because my dream had done all of the work but I got the impression he wasn’t doing it for that reason.</p><p>“Ryan,” I whispered breathlessly, clutching at the bedsheets as he watched me for a moment. “I need you.”</p><p>He didn’t taunt me or tell me to beg. Instead he murmured, “I know” with a small smile and moved to remove his own underwear before waiting for me to lift my thighs a little. His entry and pace were both slow yet deliberate, taking measured care despite how ready I was for him as my body expected that he would become rougher like usual. His current mood however was far from imperious.</p><p>“D’you know how much I goddamn love you?” he asked quietly, surprising me.</p><p>“I might have some idea,” I smiled, biting my lip because he felt so good.</p><p>“Good, because it’s one hell of a lot,” he replied softly while I stroked down his back with both hands and gazed up into his eyes as he did what I could only describe as make love to me.</p><p>***</p><p>The atmosphere was a little odd the following morning as we all sat around sleepily with bowls of cereal or plates of toast. Neither Ryan or I could quite meet Meg’s eyes and Gavin seemed to be shuffling more than usual for some reason. My mind was still distracted by the way that Ryan had been more gentle with me than ever before, something that I suspected had been a very raw moment for him as he bared his entire true self to me. I’d known for a while how much he cared for me and he’d told me before that he loved me obviously, but last night had been vastly different.</p><p>There had been no roleplay or scratching. He had ever-so-sweetly nudged me to an orgasm that instead of making me scream had made me moan deeply, affection for him filling me as he shared in my pleasure. He had seemed, for the first time, entirely as vulnerable as I had been and I had never seen that in him before. Even when I’d supposedly taken control of him in the past, I’d always been under the impression that I was only getting away with it because he was allowing me to.</p><p>“Hey, did you guys get the new email about the staff Christmas party?” the lad asked, spooning Cheerios into his mouth as he eyed his phone and interrupted my thought process.</p><p>“No, what email?” I asked, glancing at my own and tapping to unlock it with my slice of toast halfway into my mouth. “Oh wait, the one that says you can bring an outside guest as long as they sign a non-disclosure?”</p><p>“That’s the one,” Gavin nodded as Ryan and Meg checked their own devices. “You can bring Hanna!”</p><p>“Huh, there’s an idea,” I said thoughtfully. She’d probably have fun since pretty much the entire company’s worth of on-site staff were going to be in attendance, not to mention the usual ridiculous amount of alcohol that would surely be flowing. It would just be an all-around good time but people outside of the company visiting were always required to sign a form to legally forbid them from discussing anything they saw within the walls of the studio regarding any past, present or future projects or information they might discover.</p><p>“You’re super quiet this morning, Ry-Ry,” Meg observed, pouring herself coffee before passing the pot to me. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Nothing,” he replied lightly, biting into his toast and looking at his watch. “We should all go if we want to get to work on time.”</p><p>“We’ve got ten minutes,” Gavin shrugged, glancing across at him. “It’s the last day, nobody cares if we’re a bit late. Can I get a lift into work, by the way?”</p><p>“Sure,” Ryan answered him.</p><p>Meg giggled. “Yeah, can I have a lift too? Wow, we sound like your kids right now.”</p><p>With a wry smile, Ryan finally met her eyes. “You do, a little. It’s only going to be a matter of time before Eli and Olivia are old enough to be asking the same thing though, so maybe this is good practice.”</p><p>Gavin put on a high, childlike voice. “’<em>Dad, can I have a lift to school?’ </em>But then, it’s Ryan, so he’ll probably just say-“ he deepened his voice to imitate the older man. “‘<em>No, you have legs. Walk.’</em>.”</p><p>I sniggered as Meg joined in on this making fun of him. She too put on a deep voice. “<em>’If you’re old enough to walk, you’re old enough to walk to school’.”</em></p><p>Raising his eyebrows, Ryan stared at the pair of them. “I’m not that mean! Where does everyone get the idea that I’m so horrible to my kids?”</p><p>Laughter broke out as he shook his head dismissively at us while we all cleared up and made our way out to the car.</p><p>“Shotgun!” I yelled, clambering into the front seat as Gavin pouted and Meg whined, the pair of them forced to sit in the back while Ryan chuckled in amusement.</p><p>“Alright, I’m only gonna ask this once. Is everyone wearing seatbelts?”</p><p>“Yes, <em>Dad,” </em>Meg replied cheekily as I heard a click come right after this, because she hadn’t been up until after she’d spoken.</p><p>With it being the last day before party day, everyone was being decidedly unproductive. Only those of us who genuinely wanted to get our work finished before the holidays began were actually diligently working, with others seeing how far they could push their deadlines and generally not seeming to care much with only dregs left to do, using it as an excuse to start the holidays early.</p><p>This seemed particularly prevalent in the Achievement Hunter office because I was trying to get my last video edit completed with the guys distracting me in a multitude of ways while I put up with their background shenanigans.</p><p>“FISH!” Gavin yelled, chucking the giant fish plushie that landed very close to my keyboard where my mug of coffee was sitting but thankfully not knocking it over. I’d flinched a little despite hearing him yell first, not knowing it was being thrown in my direction.</p><p>“Don’t, she’s trying to work,” Jack defended me, grabbing it and throwing it back at the lad with more force as Michael dodged sideways before it hit him in the crossfire.</p><p>“You can leave that until after the holidays, the deadline’s weeks away on that,” Geoff smiled, standing behind me as he observed what I was doing. “The support room are playing goddamn Uno right now.”</p><p>“But I only have a bit left to do,” I protested, because once I started on something I hated leaving it half-done.</p><p>“You can leave it, you have my permission,” Geoff grinned. “And not because we’re together. I’m saying this as your boss.”</p><p>“Oooh,” Ray smirked. “Better do as your boss says and not do any work today. Are you gonna say the same to me, Geoff? Please say the same thing.”</p><p>I laughed, turning and removing my headphones that were draped around my neck. “But I’m nearly done!”</p><p>“You guys are a bad influence,” Jack shook his head as I stopped because he’s clearly admired my determination, but he looked amused all the same. “You should finish it if it makes you feel better.”</p><p>“Or you could not,” Ryan smirked at me too, adding to the encouragement of instead joining them in a game of Destiny as he reclined back in his chair with his controller in his hands. “Come play, it’s work-related.”</p><p>I hesitated but they were right, I supposed. If I had Geoff’s blessing, I could always finish it on my first day back after Christmas. Clicking to save the project, I switched my input feed over to my Xbox, watching as my monitor swapped to display my console dashboard instead of my computer desktop.</p><p>“Alright fine,” I gave in with a grin while they all made a little cheering noise. “Invite me into your game, losers.”</p><p>“If anything, <em>you’re </em>the loser for actually wanting to work today,” Michael sniped humorously as I shot him a look.</p><p>“Sorry that I’m so dedicated,” I shrugged as Lindsay walked through holding her phone.</p><p>“You guys, look!” she grinned, showing us the Youtube app that had a video loaded up ready. “Australia’s been uploaded!”</p><p>“Oh cool!” Ray remarked, leaning in his chair to see. “Now our fans can see how we look in a different country! Spoiler alert though: it’s the same.”</p><p>There was a sudden, loud crash from outside our office, prompting us all to frown around at one another before we rushed to the door to see what the hell was going on outside. The kitchen area was only a short distance away, but Ashley was standing with her hand over her mouth and her eyes wide with shock, the entire mug rack having tipped its way off of the counter somehow. Broken pieces of two offices’ worth of people’s mugs lay <em>everywhere, </em>fanning out from her feet as she whispered, “Oh god!”</p><p>“Are you okay?” Gavin asked her kindly as everybody begun to laugh as her misfortune.</p><p>“I’m so sorry guys,” she grimaced.</p><p>Lindsay shrugged. “Seems like something I’d do, don’t worry about it. We can buy more.”</p><p>“Excuse me, do you control the department budget now?” Geoff asked her jokingly as she giggled.</p><p>“I could be,” she replied sassily as Michael gawped at her.</p><p>“Fuck no, you’d go out and buy loads of crap with it that we don’t need,” he retorted. “You’re fucking terrible with money.”</p><p>“That is true,” Lindsay nodded with a shrug while Jack folded his arms.</p><p>“So who’s cleaning this up?”</p><p>“Not me, I have to be on The Patch in five, sorry!” Ashley smiled apologetically, dashing off.</p><p>I saw fleeting panic cross Ryan’s face as he quickly followed her, very clearly having forgotten that they were filming that today. I guess everything really did happen for a reason.</p><p>The rest of us strategically retreated back into the office one-by-one, none of us wanting to be the one lumped with clearing up the mess of shards of ceramic. Eventually, only Michael was standing in the doorway on his own, to which he threw up his arms and said slightly snappily, “Well, I guess it’s me.”</p><p>Thing was, we all knew that there was no way he could leave that big of a mess without sorting it out and carry on normally. For someone who didn’t care about a mess being made and often contributed towards a lot of them, he was surprisingly anal when it came to cleaning up - he was consistently the one to clean the office properly if a video had caused excessive untidiness. Technically we had a once-per-week cleaner but he had voiced in the past that he never saw it as fair to leave stuff for her when we tended to screw up our office beyond what was considered normal on a semi-regular basis. Like the time Geoff and Michael had thought it funny to entirely coat Jack’s desk surface with Gavin’s VO5 hair gel for a prank.</p><p>“R.I.P my favourite Halo mug,” Geoff groaned, flopping back down into his desk chair and idly spinning around a little.</p><p>I paused as a stupid idea occurred to me. “Hey, how far d’you think we could push someone on one of those?”</p><p>“The chair? Pretty far,” Jack nodded. “Why?”</p><p>“What if we challenge someone to not be able to leave their seat all day and someone has to wheel them around constantly if they wanna go somewhere?” I suggested as Ray grinned.</p><p>“Me!” he stuck his hand up to volunteer. “I’m already lazy as fuck, I’ll do it.”</p><p>“Or you, since it was your idea,” Gavin pointed out, laughing at me.</p><p>“Well I didn’t mean me but-“</p><p>“Too late, not allowed to get up now,” Jack grinned. “Hope you didn’t wanna go out on your dinner hour! How about if you do it, we buy you lunch?”</p><p>“No but-“</p><p>Gavin seized the back of my chair and began to push me through the office. “I’d take the free lunch if I were you!”</p><p>“Whoa wait!” I planted my feet to stop him, whining, “Not meee!”</p><p>Geoff nudged my feet up with his own on our way past him as the lad continued to push me forwards, with the gent opening the door wide to make way for us. Deciding to just embrace it upon their insistence, I sat back a little and crossed my legs, thankful I’d worn jeans today. Out in the main area the floor was smooth and concreate, creating the perfect surface for the casters.</p><p>“Alright fine, have you got a Nerf Gun?” I inquired, thinking that I was definitely going to make this entertaining for myself even though I was already being promised free food in reward.</p><p>“No…wait here,” Gavin grinned excitedly as he dashed back into the room to grab one before returning and pushing me along again.</p><p>“To The Patch!” I called out with a point and a giggle as Gavin obliged, rolling me past Michael who looked utterly perplexed. Far more quickly than we’d probably have reached it on foot, Gavin raced me around the corner and down the corridor at speed enough for the passing air to cool my bare arms, fast-approaching the set before he took care not to throw me off by stopping the chair dead on a cable running along the floor by accident.</p><p>We approached as Ryan caught sight of us out of the corner of his eye, glancing over and raising an eyebrow at why I was in a desk chair while Gavin aimed at him with the little blue and orange toy gun.</p><p>“Oh, hey guys,” Ashley said brightly, because this happened so often now that it no longer shocked her.</p><p>“Hey!” Ryan complained with a chuckle as the lad shot him square in the side of the head with the Nerf Gun. “Get her, she broke all of the mugs!” He pointed at the long-haired blonde beside him.</p><p>“You broke all the mugs?” Gus frowned, bemused.</p><p>“Oh yeah, she destroyed the kitchen before she came over here,” Ryan confirmed, throwing the Nerf pellet back at Gavin, who to my surprise ducked before pushing me right over into camera shot.</p><p>“Wait, Gav-“ I giggled a little as he coasted me right around the back of the three of them and situated me helplessly between Gus and Ashley while the latter shuffled over towards Ryan to make room, looking greatly amused.</p><p>“So…welcome to The Patch,” Gus laughed, gesturing to me and glancing at the cameras for the benefit of the live audience. “This is [Y/N] from Achievement Hunter, she’s constantly helping Gavin hit us with stuff.”</p><p>“Hey, I can’t be held responsible for the actions of Gavin Free, alright? He does what he wants, with or without assistance,” I pointed out as Ashley chuckled.</p><p>“Alright, that’s fair,” Gus nodded in acceptance. “So about you destroying the kitchen?” He fixed the blonde with a look.</p><p>Ashley sheepishly giggled. “Let’s just say…I might have knocked over the little shelving thing that holds all of the Achievement Hunter mugs. The whole office, including the side office. I think it was about fifteen mugs or something.”</p><p>“And that means war, naturally. Gavin’s going to start throwing stuff at <em>you </em>now,” Ryan said nonchalantly to his colleague before glancing at me. “Are you staying, or…?”</p><p>“I guess I am,” I answered, because Gavin had abandoned me here and was now standing watching in amusement off-camera. “Jack said if I don’t leave this chair all day I get free lunch. And y’know. Free food.”</p><p>Laughter erupted from both the broadcast crew across from us behind the cameras and the three people beside me.</p><p>“Are Achievement Hunter that hard up for cash?” Ashley chortled, raising her eyebrows at me.</p><p>“We’re not, but it’s about the principle, right?” Ryan smirked at me while I nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, moral victory and all that. It’s about pride, alright?”</p><p>“So…in light of you being here, what are <em>you </em>playing right now?” Gus asked me, still shaking his head and grinning.</p><p>“I’m pretty addicted to that ‘Lara Croft and the Temple of Osiris’ game,” I said thoughtfully.</p><p>“Oh right, that’s not a main-series game, right?” Ashley said, tapping the title into the iPad propped up in front of her. “It’s like a spin-off game?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded. “It’s on PC, PS4 and Xbox One but the previous one was on last-gen. It’s nothing like the traditional Tomb Raider experience, but it’s a lot of fun anyway.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s kind of like a 3D isometric platformer kinda game,” Ryan chipped in while leaning over to see the iPad screen. “Same camera angle as ‘Diablo 3’. Looks kind of like ‘Diablo 3’ too actually but with less blood.”</p><p>“I guess it is a little bit,” I chewed my lip. “But it’s less open and also more puzzle-orientated rather than run-in-and-kill-everything-in-sight. It has no relation to any other Tomb Raider game in terms of story either, but I do recommend it.”</p><p>“I think I played the first one actually, wasn’t it called ‘Guardian of Light’ or something?” Gus questioned, having had time to contemplate. “I think I had it on the 360.”</p><p>Gavin, having seen how well I’d integrated myself on to the show, had gotten bored now. He walked back over to drag my chair back off the set.</p><p>“I guess I’m going again, bye!” I waved as they laughed in response and the lad decided to twirl me around a few times in my seat on the way. “Argh, crap!”</p><p>“Nobody ever said this was going to be an easy challenge,” the Brit commented as I held on to the handles either side and tried not to get dizzy.</p><p>From behind us as he wheeled me off, I heard Ashley announce with humour in her voice, “Never a dull moment here at Rooster Teeth!”</p><p>Moments like these were the reason I loved working here.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Boundaries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Party time! Unfortunately, you fuck up.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“So I feel like I need to prepare you,” I told my sister as we approached the studio building on foot having just climbed out of an Uber. “Sometimes jokes get made that you might think are ridiculously inappropriate. Just roll with it.”</p><p>Casting me a bemused look, Hanna replied, “Hey, as long as I have access to alcohol, I’m good.”</p><p>Knowing just how much of that was going to be on the premises, I was fairly sure she was going to have a good time. Our company had been in touch with a local brewery and had rolled in several kegs of Austin’s finest earlier in the week that had been strictly off-limits to everyone until today’s party.</p><p>“Is that where you get your confidence from?” I asked curiously, adjusting my dress a little. It was bright red velvet with white fluff around the neckline and brim, hanging by my knees and flaring out if I twirled.</p><p>“Not entirely, but it helps,” she grinned, her painted-on freckles and rosy red cheeks creating an image of the perfect elf. With a dark green tank top and candy cane striped leggings plus the jingly hat atop her head, she had definitely made an effort.</p><p>I swear, nobody knew how to throw a party like Rooster Teeth. The second we entered the building it was clear that there had been no half-measures, with it seeming to be bigger and better than even last year. Lights and decorations were draped everywhere there was an available space and a bunch more Christmas trees had been jotted here and there, ‘lovingly’ adorned with whatever people could find presumably, because one of them had wooden peg dolls with photos of staff members’ heads stuck on to them. Another had no angel atop it but instead, a picture of Matt Bragg.</p><p>“Hey!” Lindsay beamed as she spotted us, adjusting the Christmas music playing in the background on the stereo. “You must be Hanna!”</p><p>I introduced my sister to her by the eating area benches near the kitchen as we exchanged pleasantries for a few moments before I spotted someone I hadn’t seen in a while and in fact, hadn’t expected to see at all again this year. Leaving Hanna in Lindsay’s welcoming wake, I headed straight for the dirty-blonde haired woman with glasses on speaking to Jack and holding a red cup of beer.</p><p>“Caiti!”</p><p>She turned as Jack grinned. “Hey!”</p><p>Immediately she hugged me in her usual friendly way. She was dressed pretty casually in t-shirt and jeans but she was wearing a Santa hat.</p><p>“When did you get into Austin?” I gasped as she pulled away and offered me a cup from the table behind me. I took it with thanks, intending to fill it with soda shortly.</p><p>“Last night,” she laughed. “Jack picked me up from the airport. I’m spending Christmas here this year because Jack flew out to Australia last year to spend it with my family. I’m ridiculously tired right now but I’m wearing this so I don’t get into trouble with Gus.” She pointed to her own head.</p><p>I smiled; some people were taking the festive dress-up more seriously than others but if anyone was caught looking decidedly non-Christmassy they would be pressured into wearing a hat at minimum, of which there was a pile of cheap Santa hats near the kegs in anticipation of this so that nobody had any excuse.</p><p>“Out of the way, coming through!” Jon was gently pushing his way through the throng of staff and their guests to reach us, holding two more cups of beer and looking adorable in his Santa outfit. He was the kind of guy who, because of his cheekbones, the curly brown hair that framed his face and the fact that he was clean-shaven so much of the time, looked much younger than his actual age of thirty-one.</p><p>Giggling, I watched as he handed Jack a cup and kept one for himself, both of them taking a swig of the yellowish liquid that I couldn’t stand.</p><p>“Your cup is empty!” he gasped at me. “That’s no good, come on!”</p><p>And just like that, I was being dragged off over to the kitchen.</p><p>“What’s your poison? Beer, there’s some gin here somewhere, sparkling water, diet Coke, lemonade, ginger beer…”</p><p>“Jon,” I stopped him, reaching to pat his shoulder. “You’re good. I’ll have ginger beer.”</p><p>“’Atta girl,” he grinned, pouring me some while Barbara approached us.</p><p>“You are not going to believe what’s going on over in the support lounge,” she smirked mysteriously at me. “I’d tell you but…it’ll be better if you just see it. By the way, have you heard that rumour about this ‘Bang Closet’?”</p><p>Taking a measured sip of my drink, I avoided her eyes. “No, what’s that?”</p><p>“Apparently people are doing naughty things in there,” she grinned as Jon gawped. “I was thinking about accosting Trevor later…”</p><p>“I didn’t know you two were dating,” Jon replied with interest. “Also, where is this so-called Bang Closet?”</p><p>“It’s the one over by exit three,” she gestured. “Up that corridor. The best part is that it’s not a key card door, it’s a key-in-lock door. I think that’s why people have been using it to screw because if you have the key and lock it from the inside you can’t be caught.”</p><p>Jesus Christ, we’d created a thing. This closet was becoming goddamn famous.</p><p>“There’s a second key,” I felt the need to point out, not wanting her to get discovered mid-act with Trevor because I knew how embarrassing that could be. “Gus found the second one because he…found someone in there that was locked in.”</p><p>“D’you know where he keeps it?” Barbara’s eyes were round and her expression excitable, as if she had discovered a challenge. And if I knew her as well as I thought I did, there was a heist incoming.</p><p>“No idea…probably in his office?” I offered. “It’s nearest to that office, it’s probably their store room.”</p><p>“Wait, where’s the first key?” Jon frowned, trying to keep up with us and this new information.</p><p>“In the outside of the lock so it doesn’t get lost,” I shrugged. “It’s not a room of secrets, it’s just a storage closet – there’s nothing valuable in there. I don’t know why it even locks in the first place but I guess it’s just for security. Anyway, what’s going on in the support lounge?”</p><p>With no reply and only a smile, Barbara waltzed off as Jon and I exchanged glances.</p><p>“So…wanna go see?” he asked right as I nodded enthusiastically and the pair of us dashed off.</p><p>Even as someone who worked for an entertainment-orientated, internet-based company and was part of a smaller department that played video games and messed around on camera for a living, I still somehow hadn’t been prepared for the sight that met my eyes as I entered the lounge and stopped dead at the scene before me.</p><p>Jeremy was fastened upright to the wall with so much duct tape that I had to wonder if someone had bought a load of rolls especially for this. And given the perpetrators, that was probable.</p><p>“Every time I think I’ve seen it all, you guys do something else,” Jon laughed as Michael, Gavin, Matt and Ray spun around to face us like school boys with huge grins on their faces.</p><p>“Are you gonna help or stand there?” Michael asked, holding out a silver roll. With very little hesitation, Jon grabbed it and joined them while I glanced at Gavin who was obviously going to film this at some point, probably when poor Jeremy fell off of the wall.</p><p>“How did you guys get him up there pre-tape?” I mused. He was what looked to be nearly two feet off the ground and surely couldn’t have been held up there by hand for the first few strips of duct tape.</p><p>“We dragged the sofa over and he stood on the back of it,” Ray informed me, which was when I noticed that while the couch had been moved back again prior to my arrival, it wasn’t quite where it had been before as evident from the indents in the carpet.</p><p>“I feel like if I wriggle enough I could get out of this,” Jeremy said confidently as the loud sound of the silver tape being torn off of rolls rang out repeatedly while the others secured him. “Like, it’s supporting my weight, but I think if I tried real hard…”</p><p>Behind me, Geoff entered the room fashioning a scarlett Santa hat and holding a red cup, seemingly unsurprised by what was happening. He had clearly worked for this company for far too long if this didn’t faze him.</p><p>“Well this is fuckin’ gold,” he remarked with one glance around at the rest of us.</p><p>“Right?” Michael agreed, taking a step back to see where there might be an area that needed more tape. “D’you think we’re done?”</p><p>“I don’t know, I think we could use more,” Gavin shrugged.</p><p>“If you use too much, he’s gonna be stuck up there all night,” I laughed as Jeremy shot me a slightly worried look. He chuckled and added,</p><p>“Yeah, she’s right. Stop, guys.”</p><p>The filming commenced, with Jeremy doing his level best to break free like the Hulk ripping out of Bruce Banner’s clothes but despite being pretty strong in upper body strength due to his past as a gymnast, he failed miserably. Panting, he took a minute to regain his breath.</p><p>“I think he’s stuck,” Geoff broke down with laughter. “Can you really not get down?”</p><p>“There is so much tape on me right now,” Jeremy shook his head a little before straining in another obvious attempt at trying to get himself off of the wall. “Fuck!”</p><p>“Why is everyone in here?” Jack asked, having entered the room too but he soon saw the cause of the gathering. “Oh. Well shit.”</p><p>“Maybe we should charge admission,” I suggested jokingly, because he was accruing quite the audience at this point. “Pay five dollars to come and see Jeremy Dooley hanging from the wall by duct tape!”</p><p>He was still struggling to get down but he was definitely stuck fast. It was fruitless; there was too much adhesive fastening him to the surface and even with gravity in his favour, it couldn’t help him right now.</p><p>“Didn’t the Mythbusters once make a bridge out of duct tape?” Ray asked curiously. “This shit’s <em>strong.”</em></p><p>“Oh, you conveniently remember that <em>now?” </em>Jeremy demanded with a slight chuckle all the same.  </p><p>Feeling guilty for abandoning Hanna, I returned to the main area by our locked office and discovered that even though the party had been in full swing for less than a few hours, people were already getting totally drunk off their asses. Geoff had followed me through in a bid to speak to me but I was more concerned with what was in his cup.</p><p>“It’s whiskey and Coke,” he told me straight, taking a sip as I eyed it. “But I’m moderating.”</p><p>“I thought you struggled to moderate?” I asked, trying not to sound like too much of a disapproving girlfriend. “What number drink is that?” He didn’t seem drunk, but I wasn’t willing to let him slip that far tonight – he’d only be mad at himself tomorrow.</p><p>“I only got here an hour ago, so…my second,” he tilted his head with a casual shrug. “I’ll switch to just Coke soon.”</p><p>I planned to make sure that he did.</p><p>“Have you guys seen Gav?” chirped a voice from behind me as I glimpsed Meg approaching. It took me a second to regain some composure because she looked incredible in a strapless white pencil dress, a gold tinsel halo ‘floating’ above her head on a hairband and a pair of feathery costume wings on her back. As usual she was wearing heels in the form of pearlescent strappy stilettos.</p><p>“Uh…yeah, he’s…he’s through there. In the lounge. The support lounge,” I told her, not very smoothly at all. She winked at me and walked off with a cheerful ‘thanks!’ in response.</p><p>“’Sup with you?” Geoff asked with raised eyebrows upon noticing my awkwardness.</p><p>“Nothing. I just had a sex dream involving her the other night,” I shrugged with a quiet tone as Geoff visibly and audibly choked on his drink, forcing him to reach for some nearby napkins to wipe his mouth.</p><p>“Why the fuck haven’t you told me about this sooner?” he asked me as though scolding me, but between coughs he was laughing.</p><p>I grinned, sipping my ginger beer. “It’s way too much to be able to detail it here in public.”</p><p>“We could always make a visit to that room,” he replied quietly, making me realise that he didn’t know about that debacle either yet.</p><p>“Yeah, about that…the other day when you dared me to tease Ryan in that short skirt all day at work…we might have ended up loudly fucking in there,” I smirked, watching his expression become smug. He’d predicted as much and for some reason he seemed to really enjoy the idea of Ryan being rough with me. “Only…Gus very nearly caught us and is pretty sure we’re together now. Also, Meg told me that Ashley heard us but she doesn’t know it was us.”</p><p>Geoff found this funnier than perhaps he should have done but to his credit he kept his voice low so that there was little chance of our conversation being overheard over the music and general babble. “And he didn’t think to gag you?”</p><p>I was already blushing at the topic of conversation, but this was pushing into slightly dangerous territory. “No. But now that closet is being universally referenced to as the ‘Bang Closet’.”</p><p>Pretty sure I’d killed him with this comment, I watched as Geoff doubled over in laughter causing me to quickly take his cup from him in bemusement before he spilled it.  </p><p>“So what you’re saying,” he gasped, finally pulling it together enough to speak, “is that we need to find a new place?”</p><p>“Exactly,” I nodded. “And I’ll talk to you later about the dream.”</p><p>Smiling slyly, he took back his drink as I observed Barbara talking with Adam Ellis and looking oddly shifty whilst doing so.</p><p>“I want every detail.”</p><p>“There’ll be <em>vivid </em>detail if you don’t get drunk tonight,” I smiled at Geoff, seizing the opportunity for bribery.</p><p>“Challenge accepted,” he grinned as I noticed Adam making a beeline for Gus, who was already looking a little unsteady on his feet due to his beer consumption. Barbara crept off out of sight but I was curious as hell so I followed her.</p><p>Without drawing attention to myself, I tailed her down the corridor as I noticed the direction she was heading in – Gus’ shared office. I watched her enter and waited until she was ducked down searching his desk drawers before I cruelly stood in the doorway and spoke.</p><p>“Whatcha doing?”</p><p>She jumped so badly that she banged her shin on the desk chair beside her as she stood upright, holding a hand to her chest and staring at me wide-eyed. “Don’t fucking do that to me, oh fuck!”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist,” I giggled as she resumed her searching. “Looking for the closet key?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she replied, still a little breathless from being startled while she opened one drawer after another, shuffling paperwork to find the small metal object. “Bingo!”</p><p>“Have fun,” I smirked as we left the office and closed the door quietly behind us. “Remember that it’s not soundproof.”</p><p>“How do yo- wait, have you used this closet?”</p><p>“Absolutely not,” I replied, leaving her to contemplate this as Hanna grabbed my arm once I was back in the party area.</p><p>“Your colleagues are <em>great,” </em>she gushed, clutching a red cup of beer and clearly no longer sober. “I get why you like working here now!”</p><p>“Have you met Jeremy?” I asked with a small laugh, walking over to the kitchen with her to grab another drink. “Last I saw him he was duct taped to a wall.”</p><p>“He’s not any more, he’s over there somewhere,” Hanna chuckled, pointing. “They managed to cut him down eventually but he’s still got tape all over his t-shirt and jeans. Also, who’s the hottie over there and is he single?”</p><p>I glanced over to where she was gesturing, wondering who she meant because there was a whole crowd of employees. “Who?”</p><p>“The guy with the dark, short hair and beard,” she replied. There were a couple of guys who fit this description in that general direction, but knowing my sister, I had a feeling I knew who she meant.</p><p>“Miles Luna,” I told her, pouring myself some lemonade and adding some strawberry gin I’d found. “He’s a writer for some of the animated shows Rooster Teeth produces. He’s a nice guy, you should say hi.”</p><p>Giggling, she did exactly that without so much as another word to me. With a slight roll of my eyes, I watched as she turned on the charm on the exact guy I’d thought she’d meant – good thing I’d guessed right or I could have seriously screwed that up for her by giving her the wrong name.</p><p>“How’re you doing, chick?” Burnie smiled kindly as he too helped himself to gin when I’d finished making up my drink with it.</p><p>“Not bad,” I smiled as Meg and Trevor joined us, the latter wearing a snowman-print Christmas sweater.</p><p>“Ooh, pink gin!” Meg grinned enthusiastically. Never one to half-do anything, she poured out a cup of what honestly looked like half-gin and half-lemonade. If she kept that up, she was going to be drunk as a skunk by the end of the night.</p><p>“Barb’s looking for you,” I said lightly to Trevor once he’d filled his cup with beer and Burnie had returned to his conversation circle with Geoff and Jack.</p><p>“Oh, okay,” he replied, his gentle demeanour somewhat more melancholy than usual.</p><p>“You okay?” I frowned a little, watching him as he took a sip from his drink and shrugged a little.</p><p>“Em’s been on my back again,” he said quietly to me, referring to his controlling ex-girlfriend Emily, who had not taken his new relationship with Barbara well in the slightest. “It’s just through texts, but she knows how to get under my skin.”</p><p>“Trey,” I said sympathetically, “block her number or something. She’s not good for you, even when you’re <em>not</em> in a relationship with her.”</p><p>“I…can’t,” he sighed frustratedly. “I’ve told her I’m going to a few times, but she’s had mental health issues in the past and she’s using it against me. As much as I don’t want to be with her or really be near her, I don’t want her to do anything stupid. I don’t want her to feel like she has no one else to turn to, y’know?”</p><p>Oh god, Trevor was such a sweetie. Mental health issues were certainly no joke especially when it came to depression, but if this was how she was manipulating him to stay in contact and suffer through her emotional abuse, she needed to find help on a more professional level. I felt deeply sorry for her in a strange sort of way but not as much as I felt for Trevor who seemed to be stuck in this loop.</p><p>“She needs help,” I told him softly, watching his expression change from irritated to worried as he stared past me at the floor. “But it’s not your job to give that help. It’s affecting your happiness.”</p><p>“Sometimes…I think that maybe…” he paused as Meg giggled nearby while Gavin took her hand and to everyone’s surprise and small cheers, drop-kissed her in his arms. Trevor smiled a little at their display of sweet affection. “I should have tried harder with her.”</p><p>“No Trey, this isn’t on you,” I told him. It wasn’t as though I’d become a relationship expert or anything but I did know a few things from experience and from friends. “Don’t blame yourself. You can have that-” I gestured in the direction of the couple near us, “-with someone good for you. Like Barb.”</p><p>An adorable, warm smile crept onto his face, replacing the wistful one from a moment ago. “Hey, thanks.” He slapped my shoulder gently before walking off to find his current girlfriend.</p><p>Hoping I’d done a good thing, I skipped over to Lindsay and Steffie, both of whom were dressed up as ‘Mrs Claus’ with dresses similar to mine and were discussing something with hushed voices. They didn’t stop talking when I approached which I took to be a sign that I wasn’t the topic, at least.</p><p>“Gus is totally drunk,” Lindsay grinned at me. This wasn’t a surprise because he usually went all out at parties. “And he’s running around shirtless wrapped in tinsel.”</p><p>I blinked for a moment. <em>“What?”</em></p><p>“Someone saw him a minute ago with like, baubles hanging from his ears, like earrings,” Steffie giggled.</p><p>“How much has he had to drink?” I gasped, wondering how much alcohol it would take any of the guys in my office to do that. For some, I suspected that no amount would ever be enough.</p><p>“He always gets shirtless at parties, right?” Lindsay chuckled. “But this is a first. He’s like…festive Gus now.”</p><p>“Ladies, you may want to avert your eyes,” Ryan’s voice came from behind us in warning, surprising me because I hadn’t been aware he’d arrived. I turned to witness him close his eyes briefly, as though having seen something he wished he hadn’t. When I looked forward again I saw that the man of the hour had appeared with a swagger so exaggerated that it would be fit for a catwalk.</p><p>“Oh my god, you all <em>know </em>you want some of <em>this!” </em>Ashley yelled, joining him by his side dressed as some sort of ice fairy as he danced to the music. “Our very own Gus Sorola!”</p><p>Meg catcalled across to them as she joined, stealing one of his strings of tinsel for herself and twirling it around herself.</p><p>“Fuck it,” Lindsay sniggered, ditching her cup and hopping over to them while dragging Steffie with her as they all boogied very drunkenly, mostly falling about laughing.</p><p>The tiny amount of gin I’d had must have gone straight to my head because before I knew where my feet where taking me, I was taking the hand of Ashley and was dancing stupidly with the small group too, not caring that everyone was watching because they weren’t laughing at us, they were laughing with us. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Hanna already making out with Miles, which given that her and Todd weren’t exclusive only made me feel happy for her that they seemed to be hitting it off.</p><p>“Hey, mistletoe!” someone shouted, pointing to somewhere above us where someone had hung the spiky-leafed berries.</p><p>“Kiss!” someone else shouted to us as a group, to which Gus laughed and put his hands up.</p><p>“Okay ladies, one at a time…” he joked, even puckering his lips cornily.</p><p>“Aw Gus,” Ashley giggled, patting him on the shoulder as Steffie pursed her lips in amusement. “No, honey.”</p><p>“Eh it was worth a try,” he grinned as I felt someone tug at my hand.</p><p>“Well someone has to!” Meg called out as I turned because she was the one that had linked her fingers with mine, to my surprise. I opened my mouth to question her on who that should be but within seconds, her soft lips were on mine.</p><p>As soon as the kiss commenced, we both knew it wasn’t going to be brief as her hands slid to my hips and I tilted my head a little. I barely registered all of the whistles and cat calls that rung out around us at this unexpected scene because she was such a damn good kisser and I was strangely entranced by the way that she was now quite clearly not wanting to stop unless I stopped her. And she smelled so good and was so pretty-</p><p>I came to my senses and pulled back, watching her grin playfully as I felt my cheeks grow hot. Some of the people around us clapped with shouts of ‘woo!’ as Gus made an entertained remark about everyone ‘getting with everyone at this company’. With apprehension, I glanced out at where I roughly knew Geoff to be standing but he had his arms folded with a smirk on his lips. Gavin however looked bewildered by our sudden public display.</p><p>Oh shit…<em>shit. </em>My eyes roamed the small crowd to find Ryan who was staring directly at me and was slowly shaking his head a little right before he turned on his heel to leave.</p><p>I dashed towards him, nudging my way past people in the hopes of reaching him but he was already out of the door. Persistently, I broke free of the mixture of employees and guests, threw myself out through the exit door and caught up to him in the parking lot by jogging a little. The refreshing night air hit me immediately.</p><p>“Ry!”</p><p>He didn’t respond and kept walking.</p><p>“Ryan! Stop!”</p><p>I noticed him shake his head again as he pulled his car keys out of his pocket, still without looking back at me.</p><p>“Ryan, please stop…” I finally got close enough to put a hand on his arm right as he unlocked his car door.</p><p>He seemed strangely distant as he finally met my eyes, pausing with the door ajar. “What?” His voice contained irritation mixed with something I couldn’t quite identify. But then, I wasn’t sure he’d ever been this mad at me before.</p><p>“It…it didn’t mean anything,” I stumbled. “I know that’s a cliché-as-fuck thing to say but I’m serious.”</p><p>His eyes narrowed a little as my heart thudded in my chest and my stomach twisted unpleasantly.</p><p>“I wish I could believe that but you looked like you were pretty into it. I just…need some time to think,” he replied, continuing to climb into his car before shutting the door.</p><p>No. I wasn’t letting this happen like this. I promptly hightailed it around to the other side and clambered into the passenger seat beside him stubbornly as he groaned a little.</p><p>“Ryan, I’m fucking serious. <em>She</em> kissed <em>me</em> and the only reason we kissed at all was because of that goddamn mistletoe!” I growled, wanting to make him believe. Sure, I’d enjoyed the kiss. Sure, she was hot. What did that matter when it hadn’t meant anything? Right?</p><p>He glared at me. “You <em>knew </em>I was watching. You…you know how I feel about her…how I see her. I told you…” His voice became slightly strained.</p><p>I shook my head. “I didn’t…I didn’t think.” This was the wrong thing to say.</p><p>“Get out,” he murmured.</p><p>“What? No, Ry, I-”</p><p>“Get. Out.” He leaned right across me and opened my door for me. “I need to figure out some shit.”</p><p>Very reluctantly I climbed back out, tears stinging my eyes because he’d never been so angry with me in the entire time I’d known him, never mind during our relationship. I’d made a stupid mistake by not pushing her away but I wanted him to hold me and forgive me. I damn well knew if it had been anyone else he wouldn’t have cared because it wouldn’t have mattered to him. But as I watched him drive off and stood alone in the parking lot feeling my heart crack, I cursed myself for allowing it to have lasted so long and for liking it.</p><p>She was drunk, that was for certain. What the hell was my excuse?</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Fantasy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Things get kind of angsty but Geoff is supportive. He also shares something with you from many years ago that both shocks and arouses you.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning – about halfway down</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I don’t quite know how long I stood there but my skin was as icy as my insides were from the shock of what had just transpired. Numbness was spreading through my body in the cool night air as I stood in nothing but my dress, my cheeks wet with tears as I cursed myself for being such an idiot and a confused idiot at that.</p><p>Ryan didn’t have an issue with me possibly being attracted to Meg; he’d said it himself. He didn’t have an issue with me possibly being bisexual either. What he had an issue with was my blatant inappropriate actions <em>with </em>Meg in front of him because he was so in denial of being attracted to her. This may have seemed like his problem but he had confided in me the other night about this after I’d discussed my dream involving her - to borderline make out with her when he had clearly been present not two days later was just plain inconsiderate of me, regardless of the reasoning or who had initiated the kiss.</p><p>I heard the exit door clatter shut behind me but I didn’t bother to turn around.</p><p>“Hey, are you okay?” It was Geoff. “You ran off and didn’t come back.”</p><p>When I didn’t respond, his footsteps crunched on the gravel as he came to stand where I was, peering down at me in the parking lot street lamps with concern on his face.</p><p>“Ryan’s mad at me,” I stated in a monotone voice which didn’t at all represent how I felt. I wanted to scream and cry at my stupid self. And maybe hit some things.</p><p>Pulling me close and into a warm hug, Geoff seemed confused. “Fuckin’ hell, you’re freezing! Why is he mad, what happened?”</p><p>Beginning to shiver a little as I fiercely tried to stop crying, I glanced up at him. “He can’t handle seeing me with Meg like that. He left.”</p><p>There was a pause as Geoff chuckled softly, his voice disbelieving. “What, kissing her?”</p><p>I nodded but he had now taken my hand and was leading me gently back towards the building. I resisted because I didn’t want to go back in there after I’d run out so abruptly, but he insisted.</p><p>“I thought it was kinda hot,” he continued with a shrug, swiping his pass to open the main door.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s exactly the problem,” I muttered as we re-entered the building. To my intense relief, we didn’t head back over to the party area but instead down a corridor to the left and around to some currently-unoccupied office. It was locked but Geoff’s key pass was basically an access-all-areas one so without turning on the lights, we sat down together on the tiny black sofa in the corner as the door clicked shut behind us.</p><p>“I feel like I’m missing something,” he sighed, pulling me into his arms. He had the faint smell of whiskey  on his breath but he didn’t seem intoxicated, meaning he’d stuck to what he’d said earlier about not having any more alcohol. “Start from the beginning.”</p><p>So I explained everything. The way that Meg had found out about Ryan and I being together and had invited us over to have a movie night with her and Gavin, the way that we’d jokingly messed around for a minute to tease the two men in our company, the way that I’d had a dream involving her sexually and had then woken up and admitted it to Ryan, wondering if I was bisexual. I detailed that he’d explained he couldn’t handle thinking about her in that way because he was in deep denial about finding her attractive based on the fact that their relationship was more of a sister-brother one and had been for years, leading on to me stating that I should have pushed Meg away when she’d kissed me not too long ago because I knew it might upset him.</p><p>Out of loyalty and so as not to betray Gavin’s secret, I missed out the part about his discovered bedroom preferences with his girlfriend because that wasn’t the point here and I knew that Geoff would never be able to handle keeping it a secret. Given the pair’s friendship, Geoff would only have an intense need to wind him up about it relentlessly and that would only hurt the lad in this case, I suspected.</p><p>“Wait,” Geoff spoke quietly once I’d finally finished rambling. “That kiss wasn’t just for show? It meant something?”</p><p>“No, it didn’t,” I shrugged. “I didn’t consciously kiss her back knowing it would piss off Ryan either. She surprised me and then…I…well it…was nice.”</p><p>“You liked it?” Geoff asked gently.</p><p>“Yeah. But it’s not going to go anywhere,” I added immediately and truthfully. “I’m not about to run off with her, she’s with Gavin. Also, I think she’s hot but I’m not <em>in love </em>with her. I’ve never even liked a woman before in this way.”</p><p>Nodding a little, he seemed to be processing this but he didn’t seem annoyed. If anything he was pensive. “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill Ryan for upsetting you like this.”</p><p>Frowning a little, I lifted my head from his chest and blinked at him in surprise. “Why? This is my fault. I should have rejected Meg’s advance.”</p><p>“How the fuck is it your fault that Ryan’s in fuckin’ denial about being hot for a girl he doesn’t wanna be hot for? It was just a goddamn kiss, you didn’t have sex with her in the middle of the party,” Geoff rolled his eyes, his tone now considerably more irritable.</p><p>Hm, that was certainly putting a spin on things.  </p><p>“I just want to go over to his and fix things,” I mumbled, feeling frustrated. “I don’t want him to be mad at me.”</p><p>“Let him cool off,” Geoff sighed, stroking my arm. “He’s not gonna be in the mood to listen to anyone right now. Let me ask you something, though. Why now, with Meg? You’ve known her for a while…”</p><p>Honestly, I had no idea. I’d spent time with her in Australia where she’d been wearing nothing but a bikini; why had I not noticed her in that way before? But then my mind recalled the way she’d caressed me in real life in her living room even as a brief joke and the way she’d touched me in the dream followed by the real kiss…I guess I hadn’t noticed her in a sexual light until she’d started paying intimate attention to me, whether she intended it in that way or not.</p><p>“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I just kind of wish it was any other woman.”</p><p>“C’mere,” Geoff said with a supportive smile as I looked at him and he wiped under my eyes dry with his thumbs. “Come and enjoy the rest of the party. You can stay at mine tonight.”</p><p>Nodding as we left the office, I pulled out my phone to check my reflection. My eye makeup hadn’t run much so in wiping carefully with my fingers I was able to fix it fairly easily, much to my satisfaction. I guess the mascara I’d borrowed from Hanna was waterproof.</p><p>“There you are!” Lindsay beamed as she spotted me.</p><p>“Just stepped out to get some fresh air,” I smiled, hopefully convincingly. “I’m gonna get another drink.”</p><p>The kitchen area had become an increasing mess during the night, bottles with varying amounts of liquid in them scattered everywhere there was an available space. I was lucky to scavenge a clean red cup but as I hunted for anything non-alcoholic, Jeremy appeared.</p><p>My sister hadn’t been kidding; his entire front was <em>covered </em>with silver duct tape, indicating that the other guys hadn’t peeled him off the wall so much as just cut him down and he couldn’t be bothered to yank it off of his clothing where it was stuck fast.</p><p>“You missed Michael and Gavin dancing on a table like strippers,” he grinned goofily whilst reaching for some whiskey. “Boy that was a time. They are <em>fucked up</em>.”</p><p>I smiled a little in amusement at him because he wasn’t exactly sober himself. “No kidding. How’s Gus?”</p><p>“No idea, haven’t seen him. He’s probably fallen asleep somewhere,” Jeremy shrugged as I caught sight of Meg dancing with Ashley and Steffie.</p><p>Did I really have any right to be pissed at her? She had no idea about the turbulence she had caused with a simple, innocent, under-the-mistletoe kiss on the spur of the moment. It wasn’t as though she’d planned it and she didn’t even know that I was crushing on her. Ultimately, this wasn’t really any of her fault.  </p><p>With a gasp of my name, Hanna flew over suddenly and nearly smothered me.</p><p>“Thank youuu for inviting meee!” she slurred, completely plastered. Well, I couldn’t claim I hadn’t seen this coming.</p><p>“Did you get Miles’ number?” I grinned at her, watching her blush. “I saw you guys kissing.”</p><p>“Yeah!” she giggled, pouring herself some more Coke whilst leaning on me heavily. I blocked her access to the alcohol because honestly, she’d had enough, but that only made her start to whine. “Heyyyy…moooove…I’m good, I’m-” She stumbled but I caught her arm just in time, keeping her upright. “You kissed a <em>girl!” </em></p><p>“Okay, I think you need to sit down,” I told her, leading my wobbly sibling over to the tables where she could perch on a bench and not be in danger of toppling over. Kdin and Caleb were drinking over here and greeted her politely, proceeding to be a little more friendly when I introduced her as my sister.</p><p>“Man you look so alike!” Caleb laughed, squinting at the pair of us. “Especially before you dyed your hair!”</p><p>“We get that a lot,” I grinned whilst sitting down beside them too as Holly, Caleb’s girlfriend, joined us. She was sweet, very short and with flowing red hair and freckles.</p><p>“You guys really know how to throw a party,” she smiled shyly, clutching a cup of beer.</p><p>“Yeah we do,” Kdin nodded, adjusting his glasses. “And we’ve got so much more room here in Stage Five this year! The previous building was tiny in comparison.”</p><p>The party began to peter out around eleven when the music was switched off and people were saying bye to one another and leaving. As I darted around to do the same, I noticed Barbara hand-in-hand with Trevor and running a hand through her very slightly dishevelled blonde hair. With a small smile to myself I realised that the closet had served yet another couple.</p><p>The support lounge had a surprising amount of bodies in it because people had drunkenly stumbled in here to pass out throughout the evening, but Hanna wasn’t in here.  Gavin was though, so I nudged him awake with my foot gently.</p><p>“Oi, Gav, get up, it’s home time,” I told him, leaning down to poke him when he only made a groaning noise at me. “Geoff’s calling an Uber for us, you’d better get up.”</p><p>He tried to form a drunken sentence but I only heard the word ‘Meg’ and assumed he was wondering where she was as he tried to sit up. I supported him as he got to his feet very slowly and unsteadily.</p><p>“She’s back out there, she’s okay,” I reassured him. “Come on.”</p><p>Hanna, it transpired, was hanging off of Geoff as he grinned and tried to deal with her drunk ass as politely as he could.</p><p>“You have so many tattoos! How’d you get ‘em?” she was saying as we approached. She wasn’t being intentionally flirty I was sure, but rather if she didn’t lean on him she would probably fall over. “Like…like a colouring book!”</p><p>“I found your estranged son,” I grinned at him as he glanced appreciatively at me and Meg made her way over to us from outside.</p><p>“The car’s here,” she told us with a giggle when she saw Gavin. “Awww, my baby’s so drunk!”</p><p> With no intention of going home alone, Meg wound up dragging Gavin inside with her once our car stopped outside her place. With a shrug, Geoff made no objection as I called ‘bye!’ and he told the driver to carry on to his house next as the last stop.</p><p>The porch light had been left on and inside was warm and welcoming as I exhaustedly walked straight through to the bedroom while Geoff helped Hanna to his spare room where she had stayed before. He reappeared several minutes later with the assurance that she was sleeping soundly and shed all but his underwear to climb in bed beside me.</p><p>“You never gave me actual details about that dream,” he prompted me with a smile as I lay my head on his chest in just panties and curled up into him.</p><p>“I’m tired,” I whined, smiling.</p><p>“Hey, come on, you promised,” he grinned, reaching to run a hand through my hair.</p><p>Pausing, I gathered my thoughts. He’d honoured his end of the bargain after all. “Alright, fine. I was in some kind of…weird sex club or something. You and Ryan were there and I was wearing this really revealing dress. And there were a bunch of people gathered around to basically watch me get fucked.”</p><p>I heard Geoff’s breath hitch slightly in his throat. “You…whoa, wait, back up. You had a dream about being fucked in public? <em>You?”</em></p><p>Flushing, I nodded a little. “Yep. Don’t ask me where it came from, I have no idea. Anyway, right as you told me to clean this glass toy off with my mouth, Meg appeared and suggested you put it into my ass next. Did I mention I was tied to a table during this?”</p><p>Geoff was quiet for a moment before he finally released a breath. “That’s fuckin’ hot.”</p><p>“And then,” I proceeded slyly, knowing how turned on I was getting him and started to enjoy it, “Meg kissed me and started touching me too because she was being a little domineering. There were probably a couple of dozen strangers all around me and I was totally naked while you guys basically showed me off to them in the knowledge that they could look all they wanted but not touch.”</p><p>He was stroking my upper arm now as I lay up against him, a smirk on his face as he watched me tell him this perverted tale.</p><p>“So you liked it?” he asked as I nodded a tiny bit, sure that I was blushing. “I should tell you about a place I went to years ago, with Griffon.”</p><p>I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Weird segway to bring up your ex-wife, but okay.”</p><p>“Hear me out,” he grinned, shaking his head. “She was into some…kinky stuff too. Anyway, she heard about this underground private…club, from a friend. It was pretty interesting. It was some bar that was hidden from the street and you needed to go downstairs to fully access it. You were only getting in if you knew the owner for a very specific reason – it hosted public exhibition sex events.”</p><p>My jaw dropped as I stared at him, actually sitting up to do so in intrigue. “Places like that <em>exist?”</em></p><p>“Oh yeah,” he smiled at my naivety. “At first, it was really weird…because it wasn’t a stage show. It was just a bar and we were standing drinking like you normally would in a bar. But then this one girl with blue hair, tattoos and piercings entered – I’d probably say she was in her early twenties – and she started out fully-dressed. She had a man and a woman with her that were dressed all in black to identify them as her dominants to the public and it was very clear that they were there to keep her safe, but…they basically mauled her sexually in front of everyone and this girl…she loved it. They cut her clothes off of her and were parading her around, calling her names, spanking her, fucking her, generally showing her off from every possible angle.”</p><p>My eyes were wide as I stared at Geoff in a mixture of shock, absolute fascination and slight arousal. “What…how…I mean…and you watched?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he replied lightly. “It was sexy as fuck in a very kinky sort of way and that girl clearly loved the fact that she was being watched by so many random people. It’s the only time I’ve ever been to something extreme like that but it really gave me an insight into that world, that’s for sure.”</p><p>I shuffled as I imagined this blue-haired punky girl in my mind’s eye, enjoying putting on a show as her dominants displayed her pleasure and pain to a willing audience. My dream had seemed so out there that I’d never entertained for a second that places like that might actually be real.</p><p>“Didn’t anyone recognise you?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. Geoff wasn’t exactly inconspicuous.</p><p>“No, this was before we even had Millie,” he answered me. “Probably about ten or eleven years ago now.”</p><p>Still curious, I probed him. “So…she…submitted in front of everyone and everyone there knew what was going to happen?”</p><p>Geoff grinned. “Yeah. Like I said, you had to know the owner to even get in; if you were invited you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into. This young woman knew it too, volunteered for it even. Here’s the kicker too; I know she wasn’t paid for it. Griffon wound up in conversation later on with her female dominant and she was pretty friendly. She explained that for this girl, it just genuinely got her off to be made into a sexual exhibit so she was entirely willing the whole time. Her dominants knew her boundaries and kept her safe from any potential public harm.”</p><p>My heart was racing as I imagined myself in her shoes. I knew that I wouldn’t be okay with being groped by strangers, but having them watch was another thing entirely…especially if Geoff and Ryan were with me. Pulling my mind out of the gutter, I shook my head and cleared my throat.</p><p>“Places like that probably don’t exist any more though.” I realised I was saying this to myself more than to him. “I mean, that’s really weird anyway, right?” I laughed a little, but I was so much more aroused than I dared to admit.</p><p>“They still exist,” Geoff shrugged. “There’s one in Dallas. Griffon went about a year ago with some of her bisexual girlfriends.”</p><p>I bit my lip. “Oh.”</p><p>“Why, d’you wanna go to one?” he teased, reaching to pull me back down to lay with him again. “Or did you want to be a part of one?” He was winding me up, having finally noticed how my mind was obviously roaming.</p><p>“No!” I squeaked because I was sure that while the idea turned me on, going through with something like that would be an extremely different story. “And you’re way too recognisable to get away with that now.”</p><p>“I’m not <em>that </em>well-known,” he chuckled, kissing the top of my head as I stroked his inked bare chest. “I think you have a warped view of my fame.”</p><p>“I can guarantee that if you went to something like that, at least one person would know who you were and it would be all over the internet that same night,” I laughed. “It’d be just typical. It’s basically just live porn.”</p><p>“More or less,” he replied. “It’s interesting how quickly it becomes so normal that you just get comfortable though because it’s happening in the same room. That and it’s real; no cameras are involved. That’s also a rule upon entry. Not sure how they police that now…I guess you’re just not allowed to bring your phone.”</p><p>“So…” I smirked, “how horny were you when you left that place?”</p><p>His eyes met mine, mischievous and full of teasing. “Probably about as horny as you are right now.”</p><p>“I’m not…” I stubbornly pulled away from him. “I’m not <em>horny</em>, I was just…interested.” I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling, wondering at which point I’d become such a depraved sex addict as Geoff sat up beside me.</p><p>“That’s a fuckin’ lie and you know it,” he grinned, pulling the duvet back as I yelped in protest. His hand trailed down to my panty-covered crotch that totally betrayed me immediately as he raised his eyebrows. “Huh. Look at that.”</p><p>“I…” was all I managed to utter before his lips were on mine, his dark stubble brushing my face a little as he straddled me.</p><p>“You are really sexy,” Geoff smirked between kisses, pinning me to the bed with his hands on my upturned palms while he leaned over me. “I think there would be a lot of people who would enjoy your show.”</p><p>I groaned as he nipped my neck a couple of times with his teeth. “I…don’t know about that…”</p><p>“I mean it,” he told me in a low voice. “And you’re soaked just thinking about it. D’you like the idea of having people watch while you get your ass spanked?”</p><p>He was doing this on purpose now but it spiked my arousal so intensely that I could no longer even argue against it as he continued.</p><p>“And maybe when we have you completely naked, we get you a little wet all over so your skin shines in the light…” I felt him grind against me a little.</p><p>Remembering how he’d admitted to liking me being drenched with water - or I supposed, probably body oil or lubricant too - I grinned whilst closing my eyes, adding to the fantasy. “And maybe I start out in that cute schoolgirl-like outfit…”</p><p>We were riling each other up but it was just so satisfyingly filthy as our underwear was very quickly discarded. He barely hesitated with pushing into me because I was all but begging for him as it was, having given up on being in denial any more. In our minds, we were now full-swing into a roleplay.</p><p>The dirty talk carried on throughout, with every spoken word edging us closer to orgasm as we shared in this kink. Admittedly I was also picturing Ryan being present and an active part of the roleplay and though I didn’t mention this aloud, I gathered that he was too considering the fact that he’d used the word ‘we’.</p><p>“I’d get on my knees for you,” I panted, knowing he knew exactly what I meant by that. “Right in the middle of that bar.”</p><p>“Yeah?” he smirked in reply as he thrusted. “Gonna show everyone what a dirty slut you are with my dick in your mouth?”</p><p>I groaned, revelling in this idea. “Yes, Sir.”</p><p>With a slight growl, Geoff thrust harder as I reached for my clit, ecstasy flowing through me. Our lust for one another was rampant as we allowed ourselves to get entirely carried away with such a taboo scenario.</p><p>“Are you gonna come for me with everyone watching?” he chuckled, still playing along as he sensed I was close.</p><p>I merely moaned in response, unable to formulate an answer in that moment.</p><p>“Because if you don’t, I’m gonna bend you over and spank your ass until it’s red again,” he whispered, pushing me right over as I squirmed and tried to muffle my own scream of pleasure while my orgasm wracked my body. He groaned as I tightened up considerably and he continued to move.</p><p>“Oh god,” I moaned as he finally hit his climax too. “Geoff, I…oh <em>god</em>.” I gripped his hands with mine, still pinned beneath him as his eyes closed.</p><p>As he breathlessly pulled out of me and leaned down further to kiss my lips softly with a smirk, he murmured, “No wonder you like the threat of getting caught doing naughty things with us at work.”</p><p>I took a few deep breaths, curling up into him as he embraced me from behind after adjusting our pillows. “I guess that was a prelude kink to this kink. Though if it was anyone I actually knew I’d still be mortified.”</p><p>“That’s fair, but what if it was someone you didn’t know?” he asked. “Or a group of people you didn’t know?”</p><p>“What are you getting at?” I asked sleepily, my body still pleasantly tingly.</p><p>“Nothing in particular, I’m curious how far you’d be willing to go with this,” he smiled in my ear. “I’m not gonna spring anything on you, don’t worry. I’d have to run anything by Ryan anyway.”</p><p>“I think he’d get too jealous,” I sighed, though I recalled how he’d admitted he would probably be okay with it so long as I was and with the stipulation that the only people I was in direct physical contact with were himself and Geoff. “Then again…maybe not, if nobody else got to actually have me. I think that’s where he told me he draws the line.”</p><p>“That’s where I would draw the line too,” Geoff said quietly, his voice tired now. “You’re still ours.”</p><p>There was a few minutes of silence as we both comfortably snuggled and I became aware of his steady breathing on the back of my neck.</p><p>“Geoff?” I asked, unsure if he was still awake.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Can you drive me to Ryan’s tomorrow?” I was determined to fix things no matter what it took. “I can’t handle thinking he’s angry with me for the entire Christmas break.”</p><p>“Okay,” Geoff mumbled, squeezing me a little.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. Kids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You meet Ryan’s kids and they’re adorable. There's also a little Ryan-and-Geoff-being-dads fluff in this chapter!]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“I haven’t been that drunk in a long time,” Hanna mumbled as I plonked a glass of water and an Advil tablet down in front of her on the kitchen table. “I don’t even remember getting here last night.”</p><p>“We all got an Uber,” I said gently, sitting beside her with a bowl of cereal as I heard Geoff shut off the shower. I’d made him a strong black coffee the way he liked it, but I didn’t expect him to walk through in just a towel a few minutes later, his dark hair still wet as he towel-dried it.</p><p>My sister was barely paying attention anyway as her head throbbed, her face in her hands as she groaned and probably wished she hadn’t had so much to drink the previous night. My eyes however were on Geoff who was still glistening with water.</p><p>“D’you have to be that sexy?” I asked him with a smile and a feigned sigh while he shot me a smirk and picked up his mug.</p><p>“You okay Hanna?” he inquired, choosing not to answer my jovial question.</p><p>“Shhhh…” she winced.</p><p>With a nod of understanding, he sipped some of his coffee and met my eyes over the brim of his cup.</p><p>“Han, we’re going to drop you off at my place in a while okay? You can crash on my bed if you want but I’m going over to Ryan’s,” I told her in a low voice.</p><p>“If I get into a moving vehicle I’m definitely going to puke,” she told me in no uncertain terms. “I swear I won’t fuck up your place Geoff, but can I please just stay here for a few hours?”</p><p>“’Course,” he replied with a smile. “Stay as long as you want. Ignore the fact that your sister is trying to kick you out of <em>my </em>house.”</p><p>I glanced at him. “Shut up,” I said slightly cattily, watching as he winked at me in response.</p><p> My phone buzzed on the table’s surface, lighting up the screen with a new message. Hopefully, I checked it immediately in case it was Ryan but oddly, it was Meg.</p><p>
  <em>‘Hey, sorry about last night! Gin, right?’</em>
</p><p>Part of me wanted to reply to her with the details of exactly what was happening out of frustration at her, but I also didn’t want to drag her into this more than she unwittingly already was, especially since this wasn’t her fault.</p><p><em>‘It’s okay,’ </em>I texted her back. <em>‘How’s Gav?’</em></p><p>
  <em>‘Still asleep lol.’</em>
</p><p>Yeah, that tracked.</p><p>“I’m gonna go lay back down,” Hanna sighed, moving slowly to make her way back to the guest room she had slept in last night. “Thanks guys.”</p><p>Standing up to rinse out my cereal bowl, I shook my head, speaking aloud about an observation I’d made about her recently. “She’s started drinking way more since she left Dave…is that weird?”</p><p>“Not really,” Geoff shrugged. “She feels free and happy for the first time in years so she’s doing whatever she wants because there’s nobody to tell her she can’t. That’s a slippery slope though…keep an eye on her.”</p><p>I cast a smile at him for his words of wisdom. “Thanks, I will.” I scrolled through my phone to find Ryan’s number before hitting ‘call’; if I was going to just turn up on his doorstep I felt like he should at least have some forewarning.</p><p>While the dialling tone sounded in my ear, Geoff trailed off to get dressed. Anxiously, I tapped my fingernails on the wooden surface of the table. The emotional rollercoaster of hoping he would pick up mixed with hoping he wouldn’t because he might still be mad was almost too much, but I let it carry on dialling anyway.</p><p>He didn’t pick up.</p><p>My heart sank; had he not heard his phone ring or was he actively ducking my calls? With trepidation, I tried again but to no avail.</p><p>Pulling on a t-shirt as he returned to the open plan living area, Geoff looked like he was hunting for something, picking up couch cushions and magazines around the television area to check under them.</p><p>“What’ve you lost?” I asked, wondering if I could help.</p><p>“Fuckin’ car keys,” he muttered, leaving the room to check his bedroom again.</p><p>I hadn’t seen where he’d placed them last night because I’d been so tired but I glanced around anyway as if hoping that they would suddenly jump out at me from wherever they were hiding, before checking in on Hanna. She was curled up in a ball mostly under duvet but as I sat beside her, she made a noise of acknowledgement.</p><p>“Geoff’s spare house key is under the sugar jar in the kitchen,” I told her, “for when you want to leave and lock up. The alarm code is four-four-nine-two-six.”</p><p>“’Kay,” she mumbled. “I’ll text you later.”</p><p>“Okay,” I smiled, patting the duvet where her leg might be. “See you later.”</p><p>Eventually the car keys were found in the bathroom by the sink. The sky was a miserable grey with overhanging clouds as Geoff dropped me off at my place to get changed, because I was still wearing my Santa dress. Quickly, I pulled on some jeans and a purple ‘Spyro the Dragon’ t-shirt before returning to the car, the journey proving to be uneventful as we drove in relative quiet.</p><p>“Does he know we’re coming?” Geoff asked as I checked my phone.</p><p>“I tried to ring him earlier but…he didn’t pick up.” I had no new messages, no missed calls. If he really was ducking my calls, he was being even more of an ass about this than I’d originally thought.</p><p>“He might have his kids today.”</p><p>Oh…I hadn’t thought of that in my selfish determination to fix things – he might be genuinely busy.</p><p>“I hope he’s home,” I mumbled, realising that there was a chance he wasn’t. With this in mind, I hit ‘call’ on his name again.</p><p>On the second ring, he picked up.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>My stomach flipped from the nerves. “Hey. You didn’t answer earlier.” Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but given what had happened last night it mattered to me far more.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry about that. I was just going to return your call,” he replied, his tone of voice a little too neutral for my liking. “What’s up?”</p><p><em>What’s up? </em>What was up was goddamn everything.</p><p>“Are you still annoyed?” I asked outright.</p><p>“I’m not doing this over the phone,” he sighed as a childlike screech echoed in the background.</p><p>“You’re damn right we’re not, I’m already on my way over,” I told him, aware that Geoff had been right – Eli and Olivia were clearly there.</p><p>“Wait, I have my kids today,” he said resistantly. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”</p><p>Irritation gripping me because I was not going to let him drag this on any longer, I gritted my teeth a little. “Oh no, we’re talking about this when I get there. Don’t worry about your kids because Geoff’s driving me over so he can watch them while we fight.” I hung up on him.</p><p>Geoff raised his eyebrows at me briefly whilst keeping his eyes on the road. “You sound pretty pissed about this today. Last night you were just upset.”</p><p>“Yeah well you were right,” I answered, staring out of the window at the passing trees. “Now he’s just being a dick on purpose.”</p><p>It wasn’t much longer before we pulled up outside with me still full of fresh confidence from my anger at Ryan. Geoff watched me in a slightly bemused way as I was first out of the car, marching up to the front door while he locked up. There were white icicle Christmas lights that were hanging from the guttering outside, their attractive glow beckoning – I didn’t remember these being here last time I was over. Maybe they were new. I rapped on the door with my knuckles, avoiding the huge green wreath wrapped with red ribbon that was hanging from it.</p><p>“Maybe take a breath and calm down,” Geoff suggested as he stood beside me, but I stubbornly folded my arms in reply.</p><p>It took a minute for Ryan to get to the door as I waited impatiently but when he pulled it open and stood there in socks, grey sweatpants and a dark grey ‘Gears Of War’ t-shirt, I tried not to allow myself to instantly mellow based on the fact that my first instinct was just to cuddle this adorable idiot.</p><p>“Come in, I guess,” he rolled his eyes a little, standing aside as we entered and stepped through to the living room.</p><p>Two small, very blonde children were playing in here within the borders of a large playpen with colourful, bright and occasionally bleeping toys scattered wherever there was an available space. I instantly recognised the Mass Effect 2 pause menu on the television screen, the Xbox 360 controller sitting on the coffee table next to a baby bottle full of milk. The older of the two kids – Eli who was nearly three – gazed up at us as we entered the room, his bright blue eyes roaming over us as he absorbed our presence before deciding that he was going to return his attention to his truck toy because we weren’t nearly as fun.</p><p>“Ryan, I meant what I said last night. I really sorry,” I told him while trying to keep my voice level, but he shook his head at me and indicated that we should go into the kitchen. Despite being super young and probably unable to understand most of our conversation, he obviously didn’t want this to go down in front of his children. This was understandable since kids were generally very susceptible to tone and atmosphere from what other people had told me in the past.</p><p>Leaning back against the counter, Ryan cocked an eyebrow but there was no humour on his face. “I know you are. This isn’t your fault.”</p><p>I hadn’t expected to hear this so I had nothing immediately ready to say as I clenched my fists into balls.</p><p>“I’m not mad at you,” he continued, looking up towards the ceiling. “I’m mad at <em>myself</em>. D’you know how many times I’ve fought myself not to picture Meg in compromising positions?”</p><p>“Uh…” Well this was taking an interesting turn. I frowned.</p><p>“And I’m not saying this to hurt you, by the way,” he added firmly, meeting my eyes again. “I’m saying this because I’ve worked really hard to separate her in my mind. She is my colleague, a friend, someone who looks up to me and needs me to be that father or brother or <em>whatever </em>figure she thinks I am.”</p><p>I hesitated. “You still are, she doesn’t know anything’s even wrong.”</p><p>Ryan ran a hand back through his light brown hair. “I don’t want to be just another guy lusting after her. She has plenty of those already. She’s told me before she relies on me for support a lot.”</p><p>Slowly, I was starting to understand his determination to deny his physical attraction to her, but as flirty as Ryan could be often without meaning to be, I couldn’t help wondering if she actually knew. “But don’t you think on some level, she already knows and doesn’t care because you’re good friends?”</p><p>With a wry, cold smile, he shook his head. “No, trust me, she doesn’t. If she did, she’d be horrified because of some of the stuff she’s shared with me in the mindset that I only see her platonically. And like I said before, I’d prefer it if she didn’t reciprocate the attraction anyway. I don’t want to be with her, I just want to preserve the friendship we have.”</p><p>“So why did you take this all out on me?” I demanded indignantly, though I was curious about what things Meg had confided in him. “Why didn’t you just talk to me about this last night instead of taking off?”</p><p>“Because last night, I <em>was </em>mad at you,” he replied frustratedly as he took a few steps towards me. “I was mad at you for kissing her back because you two looked so into it. I was mad at you for making me feel something I didn’t want to feel about Meg. I was mad at you for kissing someone else and looking like you liked it so much!”</p><p>A little nervously and because he had raised his voice ever-so-slightly, I backed up until I hit the wall behind me.</p><p>“Ry I’m sorry,” I mumbled, losing my bottle because he was making me anxious now.</p><p>“I’ll admit; I’m a jealous bastard and it’s not my finest trait,” he told me firmly as he stood before me, telling me what I already knew and gazing down at me with a face of annoyance. “And I’m sorry for that. But of all of the people it could have been…the fact it was her was so much worse. I know she kissed you. I know it was flash decision and meant nothing. But it still happened.”</p><p>I tried desperately to read him. I’d thought he’d cooled off during our time apart but he clearly hadn’t. His tone was aggravated and his eyes were full of exasperation while he stared into my own, apprehensive ones as I attempted to stand my ground.</p><p>“I don’t know what you want me to say.” My voice was more meek than I intended as my heart tried to beat its way out of my chest because he looked strangely like he wanted to hit something. Maybe me. The urge to call out Geoff’s name rose.</p><p>But right as I was contemplating this, he turned away and walked across the kitchen to the fridge, pulling out a can of diet Coke and cracking it open with a little more force than was perhaps necessary. Feeling slightly alarmed at myself in his wake, I took a breath. Did I really think he would hurt me like that? Jesus, I needed to pull it together.</p><p>“Ryan…you’re scaring me a little bit,” I admitted while watching him drink from the can, but his expression had turned impassive now. “I told you before, I’m not going to suddenly leave you for Meg or anyone else. I love you.” And this was the truth; no matter how suddenly seductive I might find her.</p><p>He said nothing, slamming the Coke can down and taking three strides back over to me before pinning me and kissing me with a fierce passion that spoke volumes: <em>you’re mine. </em>And as he continued, I looped my arms around his waist as he attacked my lips in a way that told me he was still angry, but not in a way that meant he wanted to upset or harm me. His mouth was still slightly cold from the drink but his hands were warm on my face and down my back.</p><p>I heard footsteps to my left.</p><p>“Eli’s asking for ‘Chief’ and I don’t know what the fuck that is,” Geoff was saying before he stopped in the kitchen doorway and a smirk spread across his lips.</p><p>With a slightly breathy clearing of his throat, Ryan backed off of me and nodded curtly at Geoff. “I’m coming through now, don’t worry.” His eyes found mine again. “We’ll talk about this later.”</p><p>Back in the living room, I observed him as he slipped quickly back into ‘Dad’ mode while I perched on his sofa, leaning over to pick up a bright patchwork stuffed bear from the toybox near the bookshelves while I attempted to clear my head. I didn’t even know if he was still mad at me but I did know that he had basically turned green with envy at the sight of someone else kissing me that wasn’t Geoff. To be honest though, considering we were in a pretty exclusive relationship, that seemed pretty fair in my opinion. If he could just stop being an ass about it.</p><p>“This is Chief,” he smiled, kneeling down and handing it to the small boy, who had stretched out his little arms for the bear. “He’s named that because he’s a soldier, right Eli?”</p><p>With a grin, Eli nodded and hugged the bear as Olivia watched this and decided that she wanted the toy instead, her voice suddenly becoming a whiny grizzle. Clearly seeing this incoming spat, Ryan artfully redirected her attention to the picture book in her lap.</p><p>“Livvy, what noise does a dog make?” He pointed at the big cartoony picture of the animal on the page. He waited patiently while the eleven month-old seemed to think about this. “The dog says ‘woof’. Can you say <em>woof</em>?”</p><p>Man, if Gavin were here now he wouldn’t be nearly so intimidated by Ryan in this light. He really was a massive softie underneath it all, though I supposed most men were when it came to their children. It was pretty endearing to see such a different, more adorable side of him, especially when he’d named his child’s bear after goddamn Master Chief from the ‘Halo’ game series.</p><p>“Dada!” Olivia shouted instead, pointing at Ryan’s face.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m Dada,” he chuckled, stroking the fine blonde hair atop her head. “But what noise does a <em>dog </em>make?”</p><p>“WOOF!” Eli yelled, causing his sister to look at him in slight dismay for answering before her. Even at such a young age, it was amazing how expressive kids could be. They were so young but already had their own unique personalities. I’d always just thought of small kids as all being the same, more or less.</p><p>“Eli, I’ve told you before to let your sister answer,” Ryan sighed.</p><p>“What noise does a Ryan make?” I teased as he shot me a bemused ‘shut up’ look.</p><p>“Moo?” Geoff suggested from beside me on the sofa as I started to giggle.</p><p>“Daddy goes moo!” Eli shouted, latching on to this straight away as Geoff bit his own fist in an effort not to break into hysterical laughter.</p><p>“No, Daddy does <em>not</em> go ‘moo’,” Ryan groaned, but Eli wasn’t about to let this go now.</p><p>I clutched Geoff’s arm for support as the pair of us started to lose it.</p><p>“Daddy goes moo moo moo!” Eli was now hopping around, laughing and clapping. “Like a cow!”</p><p>Ryan stared at Geoff and I as we attempted to arrange our faces to look apologetic, but we just couldn’t manage it.</p><p>“Maybe we should go,” I grinned, desperately trying to stop giggling.</p><p>“You’re not going anywhere,” he said darkly, fixing me with a look that sent both hot and cold through me all at once.</p><p>“Moo moo moo!” Olivia repeated, adorably copying her brother as Ryan stared daggers at Geoff and I before checking his watch.</p><p>“Mommy’s going to be here soon,” he told his children, causing Eli to begin attempting to climb out of the playpen. He managed to get one leg up over it as part of his escape plan before Ryan scooped him up into his arms.</p><p>“Alright, you want out, I get it,” he grinned, placing him down on his feet near me. “What are you gonna do with your newfound freedom?”</p><p>Eli grinned mischievously and ran by me, through the living room door and out into the hallway. Ryan followed him and we heard the downstairs toilet door open and close. I guess it was potty time.</p><p>Olivia fixed me with her bright blue eyes as she started to grizzle again. Not really knowing what to do, I glanced at Geoff for help.</p><p>“Hm, I think I recognise that,” he smiled, before calling out to Ryan. “Is this Olivia’s bottle on the coffee table? Is she hungry?”</p><p>“Yeah it is, I’ll be there in a minute!” Ryan yelled back, but Geoff shook his head and gently picked up the little girl in his arms.</p><p>In a voice I’d never heard him put on before in my life, he spoke to her softly. “Well I don’t think you should have to wait for your brother to finish for you to get your dinner. No I don’t. Aw, look at your big blue eyes! I definitely think you want milk, right?” He stooped a little to pick up the bottle, holding it to her mouth as she accepted it hungrily, her wide eyes staring up at him as he cradled her. “That’s better, right? You remind me of my daughter Millie, from years ago. You’re just as blonde, that’s for sure! Yes you are. <em>Yes you are.</em>”</p><p>I stared at him. I’d met him way after Millie was too old for him to speak to her like this, but he was literally cooing. I wasn’t sure my heart could take it as I watched Olivia reach a small chubby hand to the bottle while he supported it for her.</p><p>Eli raced back through and scrambled onto the sofa beside me as Ryan trailed behind and looked genuinely surprised that Geoff was feeding his youngest.</p><p>“You don’t mind, right?” he asked, looking suddenly sheepish. “I feel like I just went back in time.”</p><p>“No, carry on,” Ryan smiled. “I think she likes you. You’re lucky; if that was Eli at that age he would have screamed a fit. Livvy’s a lot more accepting.”</p><p>The small boy was currently trying to stand on his head on the sofa cushion. I wondered vaguely if I had ever done that as a child, but a knock at the door suddenly rang out as I considered this.</p><p>“Is that Laurie?” I asked as Ryan shook his head with a furrowed brow and went to answer it.</p><p>It was Doris, possibly the nosiest neighbour in all the land and one that unfortunately lived next door, often peering over her fence to look in through Ryan’s kitchen window.</p><p>“What can I do for you, Mrs Thornwell?” he asked her politely, though she was already ranting.</p><p>“…<em>unbelievable, </em>I should have the police called right now, it’s unacceptable behaviour young man, your own <em>daughter-“</em></p><p>Geoff and I exchanged curious glances.</p><p>“Mrs Thornwell, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ryan replied flatly.</p><p>“You! Your eldest daughter! <em>Kissing her in the kitchen!” </em>she screeched as Geoff raised his eyebrows at me and I grinned sheepishly.</p><p>The last time I’d been here, I’d jokingly told her that I was Ryan’s daughter from another marriage, visiting from out of state where I normally lived with my mother. I’d done this purposefully to show him up in front of his crazy neighbour because it was funny to watch him scramble to keep up with the story whilst blushing – a very rare occurrence for him. Geoff had been in the living room at the time and had heard the entire thing, leading to him also understanding the current conversation going on in the entryway.</p><p>“She’s not actually my daughter,” Ryan told her firmly. “She was kidding.”</p><p>“Well, she <em>can’t </em>be your girlfriend, she looks about sixteen!”</p><p>I turned to Geoff. “I don’t look sixteen, do I?” I asked in a hushed voice while he grinned and shook his head. Sure, I’d been in a t-shirt and jeans that day and hadn’t been wearing any makeup plus I was a little on the short side, but Jesus, I definitely looked at least twenty.</p><p>“Mrs Thornwell, you need to leave,” Ryan sighed as she continued to ramble about how inappropriate an age gap like that was. “And she’s not sixteen, she’s twenty-five.”</p><p>“I don’t believe you!” she replied adamantly.</p><p>“That’s fine, but I’m closing the door now. Have a nice day,” he told her firmly. The door clicked shut and Ryan returned to us, looking tired. “That was entirely your fault.” His eyes fell on me.</p><p>“So…she saw us in the kitchen, then,” I summarised, grinning as Eli giggled and Geoff placed the bottle down on the coffee table before holding Olivia upright over his shoulder to burp her.</p><p>“She’s a mean lady!” Eli pointed in the direction of the front door.</p><p>“That’s not very nice,” I smiled as he looked at me inquisitively. “Sometimes people can’t help it because it’s all they know. The best thing <em>we </em>can do is be nice. It makes the world a nicer place.”</p><p>Ryan raised an eyebrow at me. “Did you just impart wisdom on my toddler son?”</p><p>“Uh…I guess. Why, is he too young?” I asked bashfully, glancing between Eli and Ryan as the former began to giggle and try to stand on his head again.</p><p>“He’s not too young to learn the lesson of being nice to others, no,” Ryan smiled. “I just didn’t expect to see you willingly interacting with my kids.”</p><p>I tilted my head a little. “I don’t <em>hate </em>children,” I shrugged, watching Geoff put Olivia back down in the playpen amongst some giant pastel-coloured cushions while she blinked sleepily. “I’m just…not good with them. Doesn’t Eli need to eat too, by the way?”</p><p>“He ate before you got here,” Ryan replied. “I was about to feed Livvy too but then you…showed up.”</p><p>“Oh.” I was getting so many conflicting messages from him. Was he glad I’d come over to fix this? Was he still mad? He’d said he wanted to talk more later, presumably after Laurie picked up their children, but did that mean that he was going to start raising his voice again? Or was he going to kiss me some more and forgive me?</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Discipline</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan does apologise for acting so jealously but also thinks you should pay for what you did. When you realise how, you don't disagree.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Explicit Content Warning (also consensual knife-play near the end, no blood.)</b><br/>Also, two parts in one day because I wrote 57 and 58 as one extremely long part and wanted to split them in half to roughly match other chapter lengths.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>With Eli and Olivia collected by Laurie, Geoff was talking about leaving too, a prospect that surprised me and set me on edge simultaneously. His reasoning was legitimate; he needed to pick up Millie from dance class and take her home to get settled because he had her for Christmas this year. I was really glad because I’d seen how hard it had been on him not being with her for Thanksgiving, though when it came to divorced parents it was always going to be difficult. It also had not been his plan to bring me here today, but I had insisted.</p><p>His other reason for leaving had been to give Ryan and I time to ‘kiss and make up’.</p><p>“Geoff…” I said hesitantly as he embraced me before walking to the front door to leave. “What if he’s still actually mad at me? What if he…” I couldn’t even say it. If our discussion devolved into a shouting match, the only thing I was going to be able to do was call for a cab or something. I didn’t <em>actually </em>think for a second that he’d get violent with me, but there were a number of ways that things could get uncomfortable if he remained in the mood I thought he was in.</p><p>“Stop overthinking,” Geoff smiled, reaching to stroke my cheek comfortingly with his palm. “His whole issue is that he’s so enamoured with you that it drives him crazy.”</p><p>“But…don’t…don’t go,” I said, suddenly anxious at being left alone. It wasn’t as though I’d suddenly stopped trusting Ryan, but this whole emotional rollercoaster with him was unprecedented and unpredictable and that was freaking me out.</p><p>“Hey,” Geoff said firmly, “you’re not in any danger with him. For what it’s worth, I would stay if it weren’t for Millie but I can’t let her down.”</p><p>Coming to my senses at these words, I shook my head. “No, you’re right, I’m sorry. Go,” I told him, because while I could choose to leave with him right now too, doing that would fix nothing. “She’s more important right now.” I didn’t say it petulantly but genuinely, because he had other responsibilities and I respected that. I heard Ryan step back down the stairs behind me as Geoff fixed him with a look from the entryway.</p><p>“Haywood, if you hurt her in any way she’s not okay with, I’ll fucking kill you and then fire you. Not necessarily in that order.”</p><p>Ryan smiled wryly. “Noted.”</p><p>Taken aback by this statement but somewhat reassured, I watched as Geoff trod the gravel over to his car while Ryan pushed the door shut in front of me.</p><p>“So…” I mumbled, turning to face him reluctantly.</p><p>“You’re not really scared of me, are you?” he asked, sounding somewhere between curious and incredulous as he folded his toned arms.</p><p>“I don’t know, you’re being kind of an intimidating douche today,” I shot back bravely, meeting his eyes.</p><p>“Are you going to keep calling me names?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Well you’re being an ass!” I said frustratedly as he watched me. “It’s not going to happen again, okay? I’m not going to start randomly kissing people to piss you off! Is that what you want to hear?”</p><p>“Pretty much,” he replied, his expression irritatingly impassive.</p><p>“And I’m yours, I’m with you, I love <em>you,” </em>I added, rolling my eyes, though I meant my words. “I know you’re not going to stop being a possessive dick, but could you at lea-“</p><p>He cut me off by grabbing my wrist and pulling me along behind him while he climbed the stairs. I followed willingly, but I was still nervous and the word vomit wouldn’t stop coming.</p><p>“-could you at least just talk to me before storming off next time? Maybe communicate and use your adult words, Ryan, because you really upset me the other night when you left and-“</p><p>He led me straight into his bedroom and shut the door with a bang. Despite myself, a thrill ran through me.</p><p>“…and I…I think that you should apologise too for being so unfair on me-” I verbally stumbled a little, watching as he turned to push me backwards until the backs of my legs hit the edge of the bed, his blue eyes blazing.</p><p>Instead of pushing me backwards on to the bed as I anticipated, I watched him instead walk around to his nightstand and pull open the top drawer, out of which he pulled a thin, classy leather choker that looked fairly innocent but had so much more meaning to it than any average person would think upon glancing at it in passing. It looked to only be about ten millimetres wide and was plain black, a subtle and stylish addition to my neck as I stood entirely still while he fastened it.</p><p>“This doesn’t come off unless you’re showering,” he told me in a low voice as I gazed up at him. “And I am sorry I upset you.”</p><p>“I…thanks,” I breathed, still nervous as I caught sight of myself in the mirror as the cool leather encased my throat somewhat comfortingly.</p><p>He lifted my chin with his fingers so that I would be forced to make eye contact with him. “Do you remember the safe word?”</p><p>“What?” I asked, caught off-guard.</p><p>Instead of repeating the question, he merely raised his eyebrows expectantly, so I scrambled to answer him.</p><p>“Yeah, I remember it,” I nodded a little, unable to deny the excitement that was cautiously rising within me because he was looking at me in a way that told me he wanted me <em>bad.</em></p><p>“Say it,” he instructed, still unmoving.</p><p>“Red. It’s red,” I replied quickly as he nodded once in acceptance of my answer and this time, proceeded to push me backwards and down onto the mattress directly behind me.</p><p>“Good,” he murmured, kissing me with the same fierce passion he had back in the kitchen earlier. I returned it, no longer afraid because he was being more like his usual self again and that was hugely reassuring. “Now what was it that you called me? A douche? An ass? A dick? Feisty bitch.”</p><p>I blushed.</p><p>“Ryan?” I asked slightly breathlessly between his assaults on my mouth in a sudden rush of lust for him as he straddled me, my hands settling on his shoulders. “Fuck me like you own me.”</p><p>I almost couldn’t quite believe I’d said those words and for a second, he stopped to stare at me like he couldn’t either before a dark smile tugged at his lips in response.</p><p>“Shut up, whore.” His reply was gravelly.</p><p>And yet, I knew he intended to do exactly as I’d requested anyway as he grabbed at my t-shirt, pushing it up over my head and dropping it off of the edge of the bed before returning to unhook and yank off my bra too. His actions were rough and without any hesitation, but I was very quickly warming to this considering the fact that I’d been expecting a verbal fight. In comparison, this was a <em>much </em>better outcome.</p><p>I squirmed as he leaned back a little to pinch my now bare nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, but my movement earned me an abrupt hard slap to my jean-clad thigh.</p><p>“Keep still,” he growled, using his knees either side of my waist to secure my position better, “and maybe I won’t need to tie you up.”</p><p>He knew this was difficult for me, almost impossible even as he applied more pressure to my nipples and released repeatedly, giving me very little relief but spiking my arousal almost painfully as I groaned, totally at his mercy. He finally let go and leaned to pull something out of the drawer before turning back to look at me beneath him.</p><p>That goddamn metal scratching toy that I loved so much.</p><p>With very little regard for starting gently or slowly, he raked it across my abdomen and caused me to yelp at the sudden white hot pain that faded as quickly as it had come. He did it again in different places, covering my torso, breasts and neck with faint red lines as I moaned in obvious pleasure despite the pain.</p><p>“Who do you belong to?” he asked me, pausing.</p><p>“You,” I whimpered, meeting his eyes as he scratched the claw-like toy over my skin once more and I obediently kept still. It wasn’t just the answer he wanted, it was the answer I wanted to give.</p><p>This didn’t go unnoticed as he smirked, put the scratcher down and stroked gently over my reddened skin before climbing off of me. “Roll over and get on your hands and knees.”</p><p>I knew better than to question him so I did as I was told, still wearing my jeans as he reached under me to unbutton them before sliding them down my thighs and off of my legs completely, accompanied by my panties.</p><p>For a moment I wondered what he was going to do but then I felt one of his hands glide over my wet pussy as he slid first one, then two fingers inside me. Then his other hand gripped my ass cheek, parting me slightly as he began to probe my other hole there.</p><p>I gasped a little in surprise but I remembered our brief exchange about trying anal a few weeks ago as he pushed another finger against my resistant body.</p><p>“Relax,” he told me firmly, as I allowed him to slide his two fingers into my ass, lubricating me and providing me with a new and very unfamiliar feeling of tightness. It wasn’t unpleasant, just strange but as he worked on getting more fingers inside of me gradually, I heard him reach for something else.</p><p>Lubricant. It was cold and so, so wet, allowing him to much more easily work me open with one additional finger at a time while I made a small whimpering noise. When he reached three fingers, he retracted them and instead grabbed something else – a smooth glass dildo.</p><p>My eyes widened as I saw him smirk again and press it to my ass, this time mercifully gently. It wasn’t that big, but he must have felt how tight I was as he applied pressure very slowly, allowing my body time to accept it on its own terms while it began to stretch me.</p><p>I groaned as he pushed it ever-so-slowly deeper, the cold temperature of the smooth glass and the lubricant soothing the slight burning pain from the unnatural intruder. Still he eased it out and back in, a little further each time as he ensured it was slick enough too but soon enough he was moving it with more purpose.</p><p>It unexpectedly began to feel good and then <em>really good </em>as I gasped and moaned at this newfound pleasure, gripping the sheets beneath me as I felt him stroke a hand over my ass before unexpectedly slapping it roughly.</p><p>“Hm, seems you like this,” he murmured, clearly enjoying this new filthy way of fucking me while I glanced back at him.</p><p>“Where do you get this stuff?” I panted, referring to the fact that he seemed to be amassing a collection of sex toys at this point.</p><p>“The internet,” he answered, pulling the glass out entirely and watching the effect it had on my hole before reinserting it and continuing to fuck me. “I ordered this one after you told me about that dream you had.”</p><p>I groaned again as he reached beneath me with his free hand to stroke at my clit with his fingers. This action strangely made me want to arch my back and draw up away from him but as I did this, he stopped and slapped the side of my thigh.</p><p>“Dip your fucking back or you don’t get to come at all,” he warned me, digging his nails into the flesh of my ass cheek as my thigh smarted.</p><p>I complied, sticking my rear back out and trying to keep it that way as he went back to stroking so pleasurably whilst still thrusting the toy that was stretching my ass so nicely. The intense feeling of gratification was mounting fast though and I knew he wouldn’t respond well if I ‘conveniently’ forgot to beg.</p><p>“Ryan? Can I please come?”</p><p>“Nope.” He continued, watching me groan at his denial.</p><p>“Please?” I whined as his fingers danced.</p><p>“No.” Ryan thrust the toy into me harder. “You’re going to take it like a dirty bitch until I say otherwise.”</p><p>“Oh god,” I panted, because I wasn’t sure I could hang on. Why was he so damned good with his fingers? “Ry, <em>please.”</em></p><p>This earned me yet another slap. “What did I just say?” he demanded quietly.</p><p>I moaned desperately, using every fibre of my being not to orgasm until he let me. “That…I’m going to take it…until you say…”</p><p>Seemingly satisfied with this reply, he took it a little easier on me and rubbed slower, though I was so close that it didn’t help much and he hadn’t slowed with the glass at all. And then he cruelly withdrew both completely.</p><p>I whined but he ran a hand through my hair, gripping it tight from behind.</p><p>“Shut up and turn around.”</p><p>He tossed the toy aside as I did so, very needily wanting to come having been denied right on the brink. I gazed up at him with purposefully innocent eyes as he used his grip on my hair to near-drag me to my knees on the floor beside the bed, shedding his jeans and underwear pretty quickly as I immediately understood what he wanted. I opened my mouth submissively.</p><p>He released my hair, allowing me to go at my own pace as I enclosed his hard cock with my mouth, my hands nowhere near my crotch because frankly I knew better but his soft appreciative moans were almost enough to make me want to do it anyway. He watched me with slightly parted lips, his cheeks slightly flushed as he stroked through my hair briefly, his pleasure obvious as I voluntarily worked on swallowing as much as I could to temporarily cut off my airway. I knew this felt good for him and I knew that watching me do this got him hot.</p><p>“There’s a good slut,” he smirked down at me, biting his lower lip as his hand went forcefully to the back of my head. “Choke yourself on my dick.”</p><p>I moaned around him because his words had sent yet another rush of arousal straight down between my legs. For a moment I closed my eyes, my way of dealing with the lack of breath I had before he allowed me to breathe again. I gasped, my chest heaving a little.</p><p>“Your eyes are gorgeous, look up at me,” he said softly as I went back, filling my mouth once again and sucking obediently whilst gazing up at him past my lashes while his hand returned dominantly to the back of my head.</p><p>We repeated this a couple of times before he finally let me stop and watched me wipe my mouth on the back of my hand.</p><p>“Alright, get back on all fours,” he demanded as I crawled back into the position I’d been in before on the bed, hoping to god he was going to give me what I so needed now. He knelt behind me and pushed into my sopping pussy, earning himself a loud moan of his name from me as he started to thrust.</p><p>“What a desperate little slut you are,” he smiled, gripping my ass cheeks with his fingernails as he mocked me. “Are you going to beg me some more?”</p><p>“Yes,” I said breathlessly with only a little shame as he playfully humiliated me. “Please…”</p><p>“Please what?” His new favourite thing seemed to be gripping my hair, but now he yanked my head back with it too.</p><p>“Please Ryan…” I was sweating now, my heated body only driving him on more as I yearned for him.</p><p> “Please <em>what? </em>Please fuck your ass?” he taunted, pulling out and to my shock switching holes, albeit slightly more gently. The mixture of the lubricant and my own wetness provided plenty of slick for him to fairly easily push into my ass, but he was also a fair amount bigger than the glass toy.</p><p><em>“Fuck!” </em>I squeaked a little, feeling like I should definitely have seen that coming. I groaned as he moved a little.</p><p>“You’ve gotta be more specific,” he groaned as I adjusted and relaxed a bit, though his fingernails on both hands were now digging into me. I knew however that without his preparation of me, there was no way on earth I would have been able to take him like this without being in serious pain.</p><p>Just like with the toy, the slight stinging feeling soon disappeared as it started to feel good again, his movement speeding up a little as he gauged how I was responding.</p><p>“Oh god,” I panted while he fucked my ass harder, his dick filling me much more than the toy had. “Please can I come?”</p><p>“No,” he growled, knowing full-well that I couldn’t get off from penetration alone and what I was really asking for was his touch or permission to touch myself.</p><p>I whined with pleasure, trying to submit to him, trying to behave, trying not to lose myself in the bliss. I was failing fast on that last one.</p><p>But as he hit his climax and groaned my name while he finished, I looked around at him a little too hopefully, probably. For a moment he just stroked over my ass cheeks with his hands before pulling out of me and then meeting my eyes. But very quickly, his smirk returned.</p><p>“Oh, d’you think you get to come now?” he teased pushing me sideways a little so I’d roll onto my back flat on the bed. “I’m not done.” He was reaching for his nightstand again, pulling out the length of silky black rope and looping it around my wrists artfully, fastening them to the headboard as I deliberately tugged a little in defiance. He knew I wasn’t actually struggling and that I was fine with what he was doing, but he also knew how much it turned us both on to pretend as he dragged my wrists back up to the iron again with more force.</p><p>“Stop resisting, I’m warning you,” he told me softly, continuing to loop and wrap the rope while I watched before he pulled out a second set of ropes. With these, he tied my ankles to either corner of the bed, the length long but highly restrictive. As I attempted to wriggle a little, I found I could barely move at all, completely helpless and more so than ever before because at least I’d had freedom with my legs previously. Right now I was entirely trapped and if it weren’t for the fact that I trusted him so much, I probably would have started to feel a little anxious.</p><p>“Are you going to gag me?” I asked, curious about what else he might take out of the drawer.</p><p>“No, I like it too much when you moan my name,” he simpered, stroking my stretched-out thighs with both hands. “Maybe we’ll have to find a better way to shut you up at work in future, though.”</p><p>I smiled as he once again reached over to the nightstand, placing the flip-knife atop of it just in case of any need to cut me free immediately for whatever reason. My eyes followed him as he did this, remaining on the blade even after he’d let it go. Noticing my distraction, he glanced sideways before looking back at my face.</p><p>“No,” he smirked, reading my mind and reaching to run his fingers over my nipple and causing me to arch slightly, though I couldn’t move all that much.</p><p>“But…I can’t move,” I pointed out, meeting his eyes as I grinned, watching him raise an eyebrow. “You’ve tied me up so tight that there’s no risk of you <em>really </em>hurting me.”</p><p>“There’s always a risk,” he said softly, leaning over me and kissing my lips softly. “It’s a blade.”</p><p>“I’ll keep perfectly still for you,” I appealed to him. “I promise…”</p><p>“Do you even know how sharp this is?” he asked, but I could tell that he was beginning to waver because he’d <em>picked it back up. </em>He ran it along his forearm lightly, as though testing it.</p><p>“Why don’t you show me?” I asked him, squirming as much as I had the ability to because I was still so hot for him to relieve me. He was hesitating, but from the look in my eyes he could surely tell I was more than compliant.</p><p>“Move an inch and I stop.” His voice was low, his hand steady as he brought the knife slowly down to the skin of my abdomen blade-first. I froze, my breath coming in tiny pants as I watched him with excitement and arousal while he drew it across.</p><p>It was so much better than the scratcher. That had seemed sharp and had definitely given me what I’d wanted in terms of being better than fingernails, but this was a whole other level – it felt <em>considerably </em>sharper, stinging slightly as my skin showed an angry red line in its wake. And unable to help myself, I moaned.</p><p>“You’re so deliciously twisted that I think you might just be my very favourite person,” Ryan chuckled darkly, doing it again but this time up my side, careful not to apply too much pressure so as not to break the skin.</p><p>I bit my lip and closed my eyes, because for some reason this was turning me on so much that I wanted him to press harder. “Really?”</p><p>“Mhm,” he replied, running the blade up my other side now as I remained still. “D’you still need to come, you little pain whore?”</p><p>With a breathless groan, I nodded. “Yes, please…please…”</p><p>The fingers of his free hand slid up the inside of my thigh and mercifully across my pussy, rubbing in just the right place to shoot electricity through me as the intense pleasure returned, so welcome after the break. As I’d suspected, it was lucky he’d tied me up so tightly because I noticed that he didn’t stop running the knife across my bare skin while he did this, obviously deeming that I was still enough not to jerk his hand and make me bleed by accident.</p><p>“Oh god Ryan…oh fuck…”</p><p>He dared to press a little harder on my skin with the blade on the next stroke. It was a good thing he was so in control, because I had practically lost my mind in a haze of pleasure and pain as I came so hard that I was trembling while it claimed my body.</p><p>He watched me arch a little, placing the knife down and leaning over my helpless form to kiss my neck softly while I panted, drowning in a sea of ecstasy that was washing over me. He hooked a finger between the skin of my neck and my new leather collar and tugged it slightly. In my ear he prompted, “What do you say, cutie?”</p><p>“Thank you,” I gasped, finally going limp and breathing heavily as he reached to untie me. I barely waited for him to finish before I dragged my hands away, sat up and held them to his face while he gazed steadily at me.</p><p>“Good girl,” he smiled a little in reply, but I just wanted to be as close to him as physically possible and wrapped my arms around his neck, nearly tipping him backwards. He chuckled. “You’re still tangled up in rope, hang on.”</p><p>“I don’t care,” I mumbled into his neck as I stroked his shoulder and stomach affectionately, almost in his lap as he tugged the ropes away and then lay down so that I could snuggle up to him. “I love you. Don’t storm off like that again.”</p><p>Caressing my arm as he held me close, he sighed. “I love you too. Don’t kiss anyone else.”</p><p>I grinned up at him, leaning to kiss his jawline because it was all I could reach without moving entirely. “I won’t, apart from Geoff. I’m yours.”</p><p>His hand was in my hair now, affectionately running his fingers through it as he smiled down at me. “Good girl.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Impression</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan meets your mother. Things don’t go exactly…well.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am back at work full-time in retail, so chapters might be coming more slowly now and I’m sorry for that. I am still working on this fic whenever I get a chance. : )</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Ryan and I laid on the bed for a little while, snuggled up together and dragging the duvet over us so that our naked bodies wouldn’t start to get cold. I sensed that he needed this closeness after sex as much as me due to his jealousy rearing its ugly head and his urge to feel like I was his again.</p><p>“Ry?” I asked quietly, still with my head on his chest and my hand stroking his torso slowly. “The jealousy thing…”</p><p>“I know, I’m sorry,” he cut in immediately, squeezing me against him.</p><p>“Uh…actually…” I hesitated. “You upset me when you stormed off but…it’s kind of hot that you’re so possessive of me.”</p><p>He paused, in which time I glanced up to see him smile slightly with surprise.</p><p>“It bodes well for me that you think it’s ‘kind of hot’,” he replied, “because I really can’t help it. I could act like less of an asshole about it but I find it difficult to deal with sometimes. I’m sorry.” His eyes supported his gentle smile.</p><p>“It’s okay,” I mumbled contentedly, touched that he cared about me so much. A smirk then crept onto my lips, my voice suddenly coy. “Feel free to fuck me out of jealousy any time, though.”</p><p>He chuckled, stroking a hand down my side to my hip. “Thanks for the permission.”</p><p>My phone rang in the pocket of my jeans somewhere just off of the edge of the bed where he’d dropped them. For a moment, I didn’t really want to move and answer it, but Ryan shifted in indication that I should.</p><p>“Hey Geoff,” I greeted him over the phone, smiling and wondering if he was checking up on me. To my left as we sat up in bed, Ryan was smirking as though he was thinking this too.</p><p><em>“Everything okay?” </em>he asked immediately, confirming my suspicions.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s all fine,” I replied sweetly. “Ryan’s just so besotted with me that he felt the need to reclaim me out of sheer envy.”</p><p>Ryan leaned close to me and began to kiss along my shoulder. “Tell Geoff I said hi.”</p><p>I grinned, because his kisses tickled a little. “Ryan says hi.”</p><p><em>“Did you guys fight? Or did he make it up to you?” </em>Geoff inquired.</p><p>“Oh he…he made it up to me alright,” I giggled. “And you don’t need to fire or kill him, because he didn’t hurt me in a way I didn’t like.”</p><p>Ryan was kissing up to my neck now, a smile on his lips and his breath in my ear. “I only hurt you in a way you <em>do </em>like.”</p><p>I resisted moaning quietly in response.</p><p><em>“Alright good,” </em>Geoff said, seemingly satisfied. I was unsure if he had heard the other man’s words. <em>“Call me if he starts bitching at you again.”</em></p><p>Giggling, I felt Ryan pause between soft kisses.</p><p>“Fuck off, Geoff,” he commented, loud enough to be heard.</p><p><em>“You were being a cunt earlier, I was just checking our girl was okay,” </em>Geoff replied a little snappily, his words directed at Ryan now that he knew he could hear him. Then his voice softened again. <em>“Anyway, talk soon. Love you sweetheart.” </em></p><p>“Love you too Geoff.” I hung up.</p><p>As I did so, I noticed that I had about three missed calls from Hanna. Ryan attentively noticed the frown that appeared on my face as a result while I thumbed the screen to call her back.</p><p>“’Sup? Is she okay?” he asked while I listened to the dialling tone. I shrugged right as she picked up.</p><p><em>“Oh my god, you have to come home,” </em>she said immediately, causing me to panic. What the hell was going on? Was she hurt? Was everything okay?</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p><em>“I just got back to your place like an hour ago and…now Mom is here,” </em>Hanna replied and it sent such a wave of dismay through me that she might as well have said that my flat had been broken into. <em>“And she’s refusing to let me do anything but she’s…she’s cleaning your flat.”</em></p><p>“She’s what?” I couldn’t help but laugh incredulously. It had always been the plan to have our mother come over for Christmas, just as she had for Thanksgiving - she lived alone and as our only real family, she was automatically invited, of course. The issue was that we hadn’t been expecting her to come so <em>early</em>. It was five days before Christmas and we’d all agreed she would travel down on Wednesday - Christmas Eve - and stay until the following Monday. So not only was she really early, she was also now apparently tidying my flat for some reason.</p><p><em>“She’s mumbling about how messily we live,” </em>Hanna sighed. <em>“It’s not even that bad but apparently ‘she knows best’.”</em></p><p>Sure, it wasn’t like a showroom flat but it was certainly clean enough to satisfy most people. With regards to the mess she was talking about, it was really just that I had a lot of <em>stuff. </em>It wasn’t like I had clothes all over the floor and trash laying about but the issue was that it wasn’t clean enough for our mother, regardless of anything else.</p><p>“Your mom is in town?” Ryan asked me quietly, curiosity in his voice and his lips still so close to my skin. His arms were looped around me, warm and gentle as I leaned into him a little bit.</p><p>I nodded in reply to him while I responded verbally to Hanna. “Is she okay? Why has she arrived so soon?”</p><p><em>“Oh she’s fine…but uh…she wants to meet your boyfriend,” </em>my sister replied, suddenly sounding awkward. <em>“I tried to help you out and say that ‘he’ might be busy but…she’s insisting.”</em></p><p>“Oh…” I paused, knowing that Ryan had heard this with how close to me he was. “Geoff is busy with Millie but…I could bring Ry…the thing is, once I do that, he’s my boyfriend as far as she’s concerned…my only boyfriend.” There was no way I could possibly attempt to explain what a polyamorous relationship was to my old-fashioned mother.</p><p><em>“Why don’t you just tell her the truth?” </em>Hanna suggested, crazily. <em>“Maybe she’ll just accept it. It’s your life, right?”</em></p><p>“Like she accepted your tattoos?” I asked sarcastically, because every time our mom caught a glimpse of any of them she would roll her eyes and make a prissy comment about how they were ‘so unflattering’ or ‘unnecessary’.</p><p><em>“If you’re happy, she’ll have to deal with it,” </em>Hanna said pointedly.</p><p>I felt as though I was far too old to consciously want my mother’s approval but it was something that I couldn’t help. I felt like most children probably craved this even if they actively didn’t want to or denied that fact and the fact that she had single-handedly raised us had led to her being one of our main role models when we were younger. Though we often disagreed with her world views or opinions, at the end of the day, she was our <em>mom. </em>And I couldn’t stand it if she suddenly became disgusted of me for being with two men at once.</p><p>“I can’t tell her the truth,” I said firmly. “I absolutely can’t.”</p><p>***</p><p>He was wearing those jeans that fit him so well, the new ones that Meg had bought for him. Along with this, a casual button-up, long-sleeved shirt that was an attractive dark blue that made his eyes look even brighter. He was completely prepared to brave my mother and act completely like a gentleman, having promised not to swear in front of her and not be overly argumentative.</p><p>“Hey,” I whispered to him as we climbed the stairs of my apartment building slowly, “if she mentions anything about Geoff, you need to pretend he’s my ex, because she saw a picture of him at Thanksgiving and thinks he’s my current boyfriend.”</p><p>“Got it,” Ryan nodded, not relishing lying to my mother but also wanting to be supportive of my plight that she would definitely not understand our relationship.</p><p>I pushed open the door to my flat and we entered, immediately seeing my mother rearranging my bookshelves. She waltzed over and hugged me before I could say or do anything.</p><p>“Oh what <em>have </em>you done to your hair? You looked so pretty with it long and your natural colour is all gone!” Implying that I was no longer pretty and that my new hairstyle choice looked bad. Typical.</p><p>Bravely smiling, I shook my head. “I wanted a change.”</p><p>With a sigh in response to my apparently inadequate explanation for my radical appearance change, she let me go and her gaze transferred to Ryan.</p><p>He wasn’t entirely faking it, I could tell; he was a pretty polite guy when he wanted to be, charmingly smiling and offering to call her by her first name if ‘that was okay’ while complimenting her on her appearance. My mom was not totally naïve to his obvious sucking up but she did clearly appreciate his effort and accepted it gracefully, at least.</p><p>“You are quite the surprise. This is not the man you showed me you were dating.” She glanced at me then, her eyes questioning just as I’d expected.</p><p>“Um, yes, he’s a different guy,” I said stupidly, to which Ryan arched an eyebrow just slightly at my awkwardness.  </p><p>“Well clearly, but I must say, unless you turn out to be an axe murderer, I like you already,” she trilled, returning to tidying. And just like that, she already liked him much more than Geoff purely based on his clear skin and the fact he was a little younger. I grit my teeth in irritation as I remembered the conversation Geoff and I had had over breakfast back near Thanksgiving, where he had categorically told me that ‘I deserved better’ because he’d caved to his addiction and gotten drunk the evening prior. I’d insisted that he was amazing. I still believed that. I just wish my mother would be open to see it too.</p><p>Mom rearranged some of my books. “Do you see marriage in the future, Ryan?”</p><p>I nearly choked on my own spit at that moment while Ryan merely smiled, avoiding my eyes.</p><p>“Perhaps.”</p><p>This surprised me, but I wondered if he had only said this to appease my mother. I shot him a slightly shocked look only to see that he wasn’t paying attention to me and was instead asking her about her home.</p><p>“She kept asking me what he’s like,” Hanna whispered to me on the quiet as Ryan made casual, polite conversation with our mom. “I was…vague. I said he was a nice guy, career-driven but also a family man, because they both have kids, right? I figured that fit both of them in case you brought either of them over.”</p><p>I nodded extremely gratefully to my sister, who had obviously done her best to help me out. But I still had a bone to pick. “Hey Mom, why are you tidying my stuff?”</p><p>She briefly hesitated, her hands still fluttering around on my figures, games and books before going to her short curly brown hair flecked with grey. “You’re just so disorganised dear. Tidy home, tidy mind.” She almost sang the last sentence, causing Hanna and I to exchange a look.</p><p>“Are you okay?” she asked our mother, folding her arms as she waited for the kettle to heat up for her herbal tea. “You’re early…and you’re…fussing.”</p><p>“I’m not <em>fussing, </em>dear, I’m simply tidying,” she replied. “Honestly, where is your sense of pride, [Y/N]?”</p><p>Ryan was itching to say something argumentative already, I could tell from the way that he had tucked his hands into his jeans pockets and had parted his lips slightly before pressing them together without speaking.</p><p>“I have a good sense of pride, Mom. I don’t need you to tidy my flat like I’m ten years old,” I told her firmly while she fixed me with a look.</p><p>“I just needed to keep busy,” she replied, an odd element to her voice. “I’m meeting someone later.”</p><p>With extreme surprise, Hanna and I began to question her immediately. All of her friends, as far as we knew, lived near her back home. Who could she be meeting here that she knew, over a thousand miles away?</p><p>Ryan had grabbed a can of diet Coke out of my fridge which I never minded, but the sound of him cracking it open caused my mother to use it as an excuse to change the subject for some reason.</p><p>“You really shouldn’t drink that, it’s very bad for you,” she said tartly, tutting disapprovingly before turning back to what she was doing.</p><p>With a cocked eyebrow, Ryan took a sip. Again, he looked as though he was going to make a comment but then didn’t.</p><p>“Mom, who are you meeting?” I asked again as Ryan sat down on my sofa, because the curiosity was burning.</p><p>“It’s none of your concern,” she said in a tone that said she thought we were being nosy. “Now, how about we all go to dinner? Hanna, you should invite that lovely man you were telling me about as well!”</p><p>Hanna looked like there was nothing less that she wanted to do in the world than invite Todd or Miles to dinner with our mother while she judged them openly, but since Miles hadn’t called her after the party just yet for even a first date, she rang Todd instead whilst ducking into my bedroom to speak more freely. Possibly, she was going to warn him off and tell him to run while he could.</p><p>“So, [Y/N] tells me you were a single mother,” Ryan smiled. “That must have been difficult, with two children.”</p><p>Pursing her lips for a second, my mom nodded. “It was really hard after their dad left. [Y/N] was only four. I tried to fight for him to stay for the girls, but he couldn’t handle it.”</p><p>I blinked in faint surprise. I’d known this already of course, but she very rarely ever brought up the subject of our absent father. Years ago as young teenagers we’d asked her why he’d left and if it had been our fault. She had of course, like any good mother, insisted that no it wasn’t. The sad truth was that while we weren’t responsible for his leaving, we had been the reason.</p><p>We’d never had photos around the house of him and I only knew what he looked like from a depiction Mom and Hanna had spoken when I’d asked, because my sister was a few years older. I had no idea what he was like as a person, what he liked or disliked, whether or not we looked like him because I just didn’t remember him at all. It was as though when he’d walked out of our life, he’d walked out of existence. I remember how stoic our mother had seemed, despite probably crying herself to sleep at night in the short time after he’d gone. She had been so strong for us.</p><p>“My mom raised me as a single parent for years before she met my step-dad,” Ryan told her, “but my dad didn’t leave us, he died.”</p><p>“Oh I’m so sorry, dear,” Mom replied, patting his knee as she sat down beside him on the sofa while I stood in the kitchen making myself a cup of coffee. “That must have been terrible.”</p><p>“I don’t really remember him,” Ryan shrugged a little, sipping his diet Coke again. “But it’s why, even though my ex-wife and I are divorced, I want to be there as much as I can for my two children so that they have a father in their lives.”</p><p>My hand froze on the mug on the counter, my other hand hovering a spoon over it as I waited for her reaction.</p><p>“You’ve been married before and you have two children?” she summarised aloud, seemingly processing. “Well…I suppose everyone makes mistakes.”</p><p>I winced. I wanted to believe that she meant his previous marriage, but sadly I knew better. She had just called Eli and Olivia mistakes too. Eyeing his blank expression as he gazed steadily at my mother, I wondered if this might be what made him break his vow to be on his best behaviour and I may not have even blamed him for it.</p><p>“I don’t regret any of it,” he said carefully, “because I learned from it. But I love my kids.”</p><p>Jesus, what a tactful persona he had put on. I was almost proud of him.</p><p>“Of course you do,” Mom nodded dismissively. “I’m sure they’re very sweet.”</p><p>I knew what she was thinking, because I knew how her old-fashioned mind worked. She was considering the possibility that Ryan and I might not have children because he already had some. She was contemplating the way in which she might only have grandchildren-in-law (if that was even a thing?) because for him, two might be enough. He wasn’t fresh into a relationship with me – he came with previous ‘baggage’.</p><p>Funnily enough, he had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want any more children in the past and I had no desire to birth any either, which suited us both.</p><p>“There’s a nice Italian place near here,” Ryan smiled, but his expression was slightly strained as he changed the subject, remembering that my mother had mentioned going to dinner. “My treat.”</p><p>“Lovely,” Mom beamed, catching sight of her other daughter who had just gotten off of the phone. “Hanna, make sure you brush your hair before we leave, dear.”</p><p>When her back was turned, Hanna rolled her eyes dramatically before going off to do it anyway. I knew the place Ryan probably meant and it wasn’t hugely upscale but it was still a pretty nice restaurant.</p><p>“Todd is busy, he can’t come,” my sister shrugged. What an <em>awful</em> shame for him that he wasn’t going to get to be sent like a lamb to the slaughter.</p><p>“Well there’s always another day,” Mom simpered, gathering up her purse.</p><p>I was more than happy to leave my flat where my living preferences and items wouldn’t be the topic of discussion and centre of attention. I’d showered at Ryan’s an hour ago but I was still wearing my purple ‘Spyro’ t-shirt, so I changed quicky into a black blouse to go with my jeans, the top couple of buttons undone to show only a classy amount of cleavage with my new choker matching it all pretty well.</p><p>Right as I was checking my hair in the mirror, Ryan walked into the bedroom and softly shut the door.</p><p>“How are you finding my mother?” I asked him wryly, knowing that he probably already wanted to strangle her.</p><p>“She’s…challenging,” he shrugged. “This is going to be tough.”</p><p>I turned to smile at him. “Thanks for this.”</p><p>“No problem,” he grinned. “She’s just protective of you. That’s going to make her very critical of me.”</p><p>“She’s critical of <em>me, </em>as well though,” I sighed. “It drives me mad. Please don’t take anything she says to heart.”</p><p>“I’ll try not to,” he replied, leaving my bedroom as I followed him and the four of us left the flat, with Ryan offering to drive us.</p><p>The journey barely took any time at all since I lived in such a prime location. We were seated within several minutes of entering the restaurant, with a nice table near the back wall. Ryan sat beside me while Hanna sat next to Mom, opposite us.</p><p>“So what time are you meeting this mystery friend?” Hanna asked her, picking up her menu. “It’s already six.”</p><p>“Eight, we’re going for drinks,” Mom answered shortly, pulling her reading glasses out of her cream leather purse and perching them on the bridge of her nose in order to read her menu.</p><p>“Is it a date?” Ryan asked lightly.</p><p>I glanced sideways at him in panic, because that had been what I’d been wondering but hadn’t dared to ask.</p><p>“That’s for me to know, young man,” my mother replied, but there was a hint of a smile on her lined face that confirmed his guess to be accurate.</p><p>Well, I guess I didn’t expect to her stay single forever. Good for her if she’d met someone. It was kind of odd that he lived so far away from her but all the same she deserved happiness, right?</p><p>The food was pretty authentically tasty but my mind was on everything else, like how my mother approved of Ryan’s sobriety (thinking that he’d quit drinking rather than the truth of him just not liking it), the way that he gently probed her about my childhood and I hoped she wouldn’t embarrass us and how when Hanna spoke about her job she seemed genuinely excited. She had also put in an offer on the flat she had viewed a week or so ago and was moving in after Christmas, promising to invite Ryan and I over for a ‘flat-warming’ party. I was sure that her invitation would extend to Geoff too, but she couldn’t say this in front of Mom.</p><p>“Goodness, I am so relieved you aren’t still dating that man with all of those tattoos,” my mother said abruptly as I finished telling her very briefly about what I did at work with regards to video editing. Ryan had been doing so well at clipping his sentences, filtering his words and remaining polite but now it was turn to uphold the same things to keep the peace.</p><p>“Mhm,” I replied, avoiding her gaze as I chewed a meatball.</p><p>“What was his name? Jerry?”</p><p>“Geoff,” I corrected her, hoping she wasn’t going to continue. But she did.</p><p>“Ahh yes,” she nodded. “Even in those pictures he looked untrustworthy. Why he break up with you, dear?”</p><p>Clenching and unclenching my fist under the table to focus on what my story was going to be, I lied to my mother’s face. “He found someone else.”</p><p>“He cheated on you?” She looked quite surprised now. “Well, I knew he couldn’t be a good person with his…<em>look.”</em></p><p>I shook my head, pushing the annoyance I was feeling back down. “No, he didn’t cheat on me. We just weren’t…compatible.” I felt a comforting hand on my thigh under the table from Ryan beside me.</p><p>“But you work with him, don’t you?” Mom inquired, causing me to remember that yes, I’d mentioned that before. She’d been criticizing him for not being able to get a good job covered in tattoos and I had defended him by setting her straight on how he’d part-founded Rooster Teeth, the company I worked for.</p><p>“Yes. We’re just colleagues and friends now,” I replied, wishing that she would drop it.</p><p>“I hope he hasn’t been treating you differently at work because of your previous relationship,” my mother sighed. “I would have thought you’d have known not to mix business with pleasure, dear. Such a silly thing to do, really.”</p><p>I gritted my teeth as I thought I heard Ryan chuckle a little beside me while as he stuck his fork into his chicken.</p><p>“You’re a very trusting man to not mind her working with her ex,” my mom said directly to him, as I looked at her in total exasperation. It was a good thing that the relationship between Geoff, Ryan and I was a little different because if my spoken version was the real version, right now it would be making me nervous that she was trying to actively put Ryan off of me.</p><p>“I trust her completely,” Ryan replied bluntly. “And since Geoff is a good friend, I trust him too.”</p><p>Mom shook her head, turning her judgemental eyes back to me. “Oh darling, you can’t just switch between men like they’re desserts. You need to broaden your horizons. Is it really a good idea to go out with a friend of your ex-boyfriend?”</p><p>Okay, now she <em>was </em>actively trying to drive a wedge between Ryan and I. Obviously she was misinformed so it wasn’t going to affect anything, but it still pissed me off that she was acting like this. Even for her this was bad and the way that Hanna had stopped eating and was twirling spaghetti around her fork but not actually lifting it to her mouth showed how shocked she was too about the current conversation.</p><p>“I think they’re good together,” she spoke up. “They’re both happy.”</p><p>Ryan’s hand left my thigh and he rose from the table. “I’ll be right back.” He headed for the restrooms, but I glared at my mother in his absence.</p><p>“Why are you acting like this?” I demanded across the table. “It’s like you want him to break up with me!”</p><p>“Look, don’t take this the wrong way,” Mom replied by way of alluding to the fact that she was about to offend me, “but really. He’s damaged goods; do you honestly want to be with a man who has an ex-wife that will always be in the picture because of their two children?”</p><p>I was so flabbergasted by how horrible what she had just said was that I could barely think of what to say in response.</p><p>“Mom, that’s really unfair. Ryan’s a nice guy,” Hanna said adamantly. “Can’t you just be happy for [Y/N]?”</p><p>“He’s not right for you, I know it,” Mom answered stubbornly.</p><p>“He is and you just don’t like it,” I replied back, a little more loudly than I’d intended which earned us a glance from the people at a nearby table. “And you know what? Maybe I don’t care what you think about who I date, because all you <em>should</em> care about is whether or not your daughter is happy and not how many tattoos or children their boyfriend has!”</p><p>There was a heavy, awkward silence in which time Ryan returned from the bathroom, sitting back down and seemingly picking up on the fact that words had been exchanged in his absence. He smartly said nothing, but I felt his hand return to my thigh in a reassuring manor as I seethed silently and stabbed my tagliatelle with my fork like it was my mom’s words in physical form.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0060"><h2>60. Conflict</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Your mother gets really nasty but Ryan and Hanna stand up for you.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The rest of dinner passed quietly with only the clinking of cutlery echoing around the table and the babble of people around us making amicable conversation.</p><p>“Do you have a problem with me?” Ryan asked my mom suddenly, not rudely but not entirely casually either. “Because it seems to me that you’re not happy about my relationship with your daughter.”</p><p>“I’m worried about your commitment to her,” Mom answered him curtly. “You already have two children with another woman.”</p><p>“That doesn’t affect how committed I am,” Ryan stated, meeting her eyes.</p><p>“Maybe not, but it will always be a factor. That family unit is still there, the one that you used to have. You may want to go back to it at some point to make it complete again and that will only hurt my daughter,” my mother said sharply. “You have more life experience than her, I hope you’re not taking advantage.”</p><p>I gawped. Ryan had been right; she was being protective of me in a warped way but she was going about it entirely wrongly. Not for a second did I think he was going to abandon me to run back to Laurie, no matter how much he loved his children, but the idea still made me feel sick.</p><p>“Mom, he isn’t,” I said firmly, now realising fully what she really meant when she had said that both Ryan and Geoff were ‘a little old for me’. It wasn’t just the actual numerical age gap she had been referring to, it was the experience too. The pair of them had been married (in Geoff’s case, twice), had had children and had also gotten divorced in the time it had taken me to grow up and have one serious relationship.</p><p>“That had better be true,” she replied, still watching Ryan as he raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Going back to my ex-wife is not something I ever plan to do,” he told her. “You may not trust me, but your daughter does.”</p><p>“Mom, you need to stop this,” I said, my irritation reaching its peak levels and my fists clenched under the table. “I’m not a child.”</p><p>“But you are!” she laughed, gesturing a little. “You’re twenty-five, you’ve only ever been with one man and now you’re suddenly going through men one-a-month because they’re nice to you!”</p><p>My thoughts buzzed around like a swarm of bees in my head as I thought about what I wanted to say to her out loud. First of all, I’d dated more than just Ian before Geoff and Ryan, it was just that Ian had been my only long-term serious relationship – was that really that much of a bad thing? Secondly, I hadn’t just dropped myself into the lap of the first man to ‘be nice to me’ or pay me any attention – I’d been single for years. Thirdly, she was now telling me she thought me to be immature and unable to look after myself,  which was just plain untrue.</p><p>Ryan chewed his mouthful of chicken pasta and swallowed before he said quietly and calmly, showing much more composure than I currently was, “She’s actually quite mature for her age.”</p><p>“Oh of course,” my Mom said in a way that very much dripped with her disbelieving his words. “But she’d probably follow you to the ends of the earth because she’s clearly besotted with you. Look at the way she looks at you! If you took off tomorrow, she’d be broken. She’s always been emotionally immature.”</p><p>It was a strange set of things to say in such an accusatory tone when Ryan had done nothing wrong and didn’t plan to. Clearly she loathed how much I loved this older, previously-married, father of two children that weren’t mine, but were these facts really marring her image of him this much? It was like she expected him to take off tomorrow.</p><p>“You have a really warped view of who I am as a person,” I told her furiously, struggling to keep my temper under control. “I have a full-time job, a flat and an amazing relationship and all you can do is insult and belittle me.”</p><p>“Darling, you’re naïve and you lack good judgement,” she replied flatly, dropping her fork. “You might think he’s charming but I can see right through him. How long were you married, Ryan?”</p><p>“You know what?” I growled, finally losing it as Ryan gave my leg a warning squeeze beneath the table. “You have no idea how good to me this man is. I’m happier than I’ve ever been with him <em>and </em>Geoff. I’m dating both of them. They’re both incredible and I love them.”</p><p>And that was it. My anger had finally forced the truth out.</p><p>“That’s ridiculous. Don’t be so silly, you’re not a common hussy.” My mother had dismissively reached for her wine glass to take a sip, as though not believing a word I’d just said.</p><p>“No, she isn’t a common hussy,” Hanna said sharply. “But she is happy with both of them. It’s called a poly-”</p><p>Our mother cut her off. “Darling, if that’s true, then you’re even <em>more</em> naïve than I thought you were.”</p><p>My stomach twisted.</p><p>“You’re okay with this other man?” Mom demanded of Ryan, who stared back at her without flinching.</p><p>“It’s an arrangement. We both love her,” he said carefully, still being tactful despite my blatant admission. “She considers us both her boyfriends.”</p><p>“But…that’s appalling,” my mother frowned ignorantly. “How can you be committed to two men at once? I may not go to church every Sunday, but I know indecency when I hear it. You will have to choose between them young lady, you can’t marry them both!”</p><p>My heart was thudding, my palms sweaty as I wiped them on the knees of my jeans. This was exactly the reaction that I knew she would have, but in a moment of pure blind anger, I’d wanted to rebel and tell her the truth. “I’m not planning to marry either of them. And I’m not choosing between them.”</p><p>“What? Oh <em>please </em>don’t tell me you’re having sex before marriage too, because if you are I-”</p><p>“Why is that anything to do with you?” I cut in, my voice rising again because who the hell did she think she was?</p><p>Ryan placed a hand on my upper arm now, his voice soft from beside me. “Calm down.”</p><p>“My daughter has run off wild and is having premarital sex with two different men and god knows how many others! That has everything to do with me because I am <em>your mother!” </em>She had thrown down her napkin now, her lips almost white from pursing them so hard. Her fingers were still wrapped around the stem of her wine glass, but the liquid inside was tremoring.</p><p>Hanna was scowling. “Leave her alone, she’s not doing anything wrong. It’s called a ‘polyamorous relationship’, it means that she’s seeing two guys who both know about the other and it’s all consensual.”</p><p>“I don’t care what you call it, this is your fault,” Mom said suddenly, ignoring Hanna and turning to Ryan. “The new hair, the new dress sense, this seeing-two-men-at-once and the blatant disregard for having any kind of self-respect. You’re a bad example on her!”</p><p>“With all due respect,” Ryan said steadily, clearly trying to hold himself back for my benefit, “she’s an adult - I’m not being any kind of example on her.”</p><p>He was angry too now, I could tell because his voice had an edge to it that hadn’t been there before.</p><p>This was the most ridiculous conversation I had ever heard in my life; she was talking about me like I was a stupid teenager that couldn’t make sound decisions and had gone totally off the rails with her life, as though I was sleeping around with random strangers every other day and had no direction. Before I could stop them tears formed in the corners of my eyes, stinging because I refused to blink and hoped they would go away again. The restaurant had gone a little quieter, with the people at nearby tables shooting us occasional curious glances.</p><p>“I chose how I want to look and I’m in love with two incredible guys who love me too,” I said in a voice wrought with hurt. “Don’t you care that I’m happy?”</p><p>My mother’s green eyes observed me for a moment. “Of course. I <em>want</em> you to be happy, dear. But not at the expense of your reputation. People will think you’re a common floozy!”</p><p>I grabbed my napkin and fiercely dabbed at my eyes because I didn’t want to cry, not here in public. “Being in a committed relationship with two people does <em>not </em>make me a ‘common floozy’!”</p><p>“It does! It makes you a hooker but without asking for money!” Mom retorted.</p><p>This cut so deep that she may as well have actually stabbed me. Hanna’s jaw dropped in horror.</p><p>By now, the entire restaurant was silent. Self-consciously, I glanced around before putting my head in my hands for a second. I was aware of Ryan quietly settling the bill with the waiter beside me, his hand shaking slightly as he handed over his credit card.</p><p>Gripping my hand in his, he led me outside into the parking lot while Hanna and Mom followed, the latter of the two women still harping on as I desperately fought the urge to break down sobbing.</p><p>“…if you decide sooner rather than later which man you want, you might be able to avoid all of the fallout,” she tutted as I leaned into Ryan near the car, the tears starting to stream now. “I know it’s upsetting to hear the truth, but you really need to think about your future and neither of these men-“</p><p>“I’ve been civil this evening despite your rudeness, because I didn’t want to upset [Y/N],” Ryan said in a quietly dangerous voice, killing my mother’s sentence dead as the cool breeze whipped around us. “But I’m not going to be any more. She deserves to be treated better than this and she’s the very opposite of what you seem to think about her.”</p><p>Mom sighed. “You don’t understand at all what it’s like, being a mo-”</p><p>“What I understand is how much you’ve upset her,” he replied, holding me close. “And over the fact that she is loved by two men rather than one. We’re both equally as committed to her and I think you need to rethink your stance on that because she’s very happy with us. She was so afraid of telling you the fucking truth because she knew you would act this way. She was afraid of telling any of her friends about it either for the same reason, because she thought they would react like you have and <em>that </em>is where her fear came from. For that, you should be ashamed of yourself.”</p><p>My mom opened her mouth to counter his argument, but Ryan wasn’t finished.</p><p>“She’s an incredible woman who we’re lucky to have in our lives,” he continued. “But all you can see is the shallow, outer layer of people. And d’you want to know what I find most shocking?” He paused then as my mother defiantly stared, refusing to back down. “The fact that you know what it’s like to raise children alone. To be alone. Why wouldn’t you want your daughter to have companionship, even if it doesn’t conform to your standards?”</p><p>“I want her to have companionship with someone of her own age,” Mom sighed frustratedly. “You’re both so much older and she is so easily taken in-“</p><p>“If you say one more derogatory word against my girlfriend, I’m going to make personally sure she doesn’t contact you again,” Ryan almost growled.</p><p>“Look at her right now!” My mother flung her arm out towards me in a gesture to make a point. “She’s crying like a child! No wonder she’s dating you, her self-esteem is through the floor!”</p><p>“She’s crying because her own mother is fucking insulting everything about her!” Even Ryan’s voice was rising now.</p><p>I turned away. I wasn’t sobbing, but the tears were pouring down my cheeks and blurring my vision as I opened the door to Ryan’s car, climbed in and slammed it shut. I couldn’t remember her ever being quite this awful to me or Hanna before. And Ryan was right; <em>she </em>was the entire reason I’d expected such a bad reaction from everyone towards my poly relationship. I could hear the shouting going on outside and I curled up into a ball in my seat as my misery clenched at my entire torso.</p><p>Was I really emotionally immature because I shied away from conflict, had panic attacks during thunder storms and craved the protectiveness and love of two older men? I felt like none of that was related at all but the more I shook with tears, my throat hurting as I choked air into my lungs between, the more of a child I felt.</p><p>A few minutes passed and Ryan climbed into the car beside me surprisingly calmly, followed by Hanna who strapped herself in in the back seats.</p><p>“Mom is staying at a hotel over Christmas,” she told me curtly as Ryan watched me with sympathy in his eyes. “She can fly home again right now for all I care though.”</p><p>I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced sideways.</p><p>“I’m proud of you for holding your own,” he said gently.</p><p>My heart warmed.</p><p>The five-minute car ride was relatively peaceful. My cheeks were still wet but my sobbing had stopped, perhaps due to the mixture of shock and anger. My mind was whirring with her harsh words and the way she had instantly formed a grossly unfair image of me sleeping around like a slut. I was intensely grateful that both Ryan and Hanna had stuck up for me, with the former going out of his way to point out how wrong my mother was about me.</p><p>I noticed that while we climbed the stairs up to my flat, Ryan had taken my hand once again, leading me along behind him. Rather than immediately thinking of him as babying me, I found it oddly comforting. Then I realised that this was exactly what I liked so much – him taking charge and looking after me. It was reassuring.</p><p>“I want you to pack an overnight bag,” he told me, his blue eyes loving. “A little later, we’re going round to Geoff’s to talk to him about this when Millie’s in bed, because I know how deep this has hurt you.”</p><p>He wasn’t asking me, he was telling me, but he also wasn’t wrong.</p><p>“Is that okay?” I asked Hanna as she nodded and grabbed a sparkling water from the fridge.</p><p>“Yeah, ‘course it is.”</p><p>My smile was weak and a little watery but I walked over to my bedroom, grabbing a small bag and absently stuffing panties and a spare shirt into it while I tried to stop thinking about the dinner conversation. I wanted to cry and punch a wall simultaneously, something which I very rarely ever felt considering I wasn’t really the type to fly into fits of rage. Being on the brink of losing control was a strange feeling with only Ryan to keep me grounded while he sat on my bed, watching me and speaking gently.</p><p>“You don’t need her approval,” he was saying while I tucked some socks into the bag.</p><p>“I know,” I nodded. I shouldn’t need it, but I still wanted it. And to know how she thought of me now…it hurt.</p><p>“You deserve to be happy,” he continued, while I grabbed my toothbrush. “She doesn’t understand it, but you still deserve it.”</p><p>“I know,” I nodded again. I knew I did and I was, usually. I shouldn’t let her take that away from me.</p><p>“You’re definitely not a hooker,” he smiled a little, because it was such a ridiculous prospect.</p><p>“Nope,” I replied, zipping the bag up and crawling on to my bed beside him, where he was sitting fully-dressed. He smelled so good and his warm embrace held me close once again. “She’s wrong about everything. Including that.”</p><p>He reached up to stroke my hair because he knew how placid I became when he did this. I closed my eyes.</p><p>***</p><p>“What are you guys doing here?” Geoff asked after he’d answered the door and allowed the pair of us in. “It’s late.”</p><p>“I know, we wanted to be sure Millie would be in bed,” I replied. I felt much more content than I had earlier thanks to Ryan cheering me up during a multiplayer game of ‘Gears Of War’ while Hanna watched and made amusing comments with her lack of knowledge on video games in general. We’d let her have a go, the couple of hours turning into a hilarious routine of her trying to learn everything from scratch while we tried to help, the three of us falling about laughing good-naturedly every time something went wrong.</p><p>Geoff eyed my bag. “The fact you two are <em>both</em> here together is telling me only one thing.”</p><p>Ryan smirked a little but then shook his head. “That’s not why we’re here.” He began to tell him everything while we all sat down, from the way that my mom had arrived early for Christmas for the purpose of meeting this mystery stranger and ending on what had most recently happened with me being so upset and hurt from the names I’d been called and the lifestyle I’d been accused of leading. The more he explained, the more Geoff became visibly irritated and when I leaned into him, his grip of me was tight and protective.</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell, what’s wrong with her?” he asked, keeping his voice low but unable to hide his annoyance. “She berated you in the middle of a restaurant and tried to encourage you to leave us both and settle down with one man that has no kids already, so you can have them for him instead? And she called you a child?”</p><p>I nodded sadly. “I didn’t even tell her that you’ve been married twice and have Millie. She’d probably have gone home tonight if I’d added all that.”</p><p>“The fact she doesn’t approve of your taste in men only shows how tasteless she is,” Ryan shrugged, stroking my knee and causing me to smile a little. He’d been so amazing to stand up for me to my mother, despite the fact that she had seemed to take none of it in.</p><p>“I guess. I personally thought I had great taste in men,” I replied with a slight giggle. “Imagine if I’d added that I got a tattoo as well. She already thinks Ryan has corrupted me. Apparently he’s a bad influence.”</p><p>“Well, in a manner of speaking, he has,” Geoff grinned. “But that’s not the point.”</p><p>Ryan smirked. “I doubt that was my fault, I think you’ve always been a dirty girl. I just helped you along. But don’t let her make you feel like a child. That’s how she keeps her hold on you, I saw it. She was being manipulative.”</p><p>“Oh trust me, I’m not going to let what she says control what decisions I make, I haven’t done that since I was a teenager,” I said firmly as I linked my fingers with Ryan’s. “I’m not breaking up with either one of you.”</p><p>“I’m still in shock that she called you a hooker,” Geoff grumbled, shaking his head. “What a bitch. I know she’s your mother, but…fuck it.”</p><p>I nodded with a slight shrug. “She was acting like I’m sleeping with different men every night.”</p><p>“You’re not, are you?” Ryan asked jokingly, nudging me. “Because you know I’ll have to kill them all.”</p><p>“Obviously I am,” I said wryly, my words sagging with sarcasm. “Although apparently I’m missing a trick because I could be charging all of these men money to have me and be a proper prostitute. Oh and the fact you both have children with your ex-wives means you’re definitely going to reunite with them and leave me, apparently.”</p><p>“That staggered me,” Ryan groaned, running a hand back through his hair as Geoff rolled his eyes. “She clearly doesn’t believe that divorce is ever permanent.”</p><p>“Clearly,” I gritted my teeth, thinking again of the way she had ripped us all to shreds. “I sure hope the man she’s meeting for ‘drinks’ tonight hasn’t been married before and doesn’t have children. Or maybe I do hope that, so that he doesn’t get himself into a relationship with the fucking devil.”</p><p>For a moment, we all sat in silence before I finally broke it in a quiet voice.</p><p>“I like how my new hair is even if my Mom doesn’t.”</p><p>“So do I,” Ryan replied lightly, his eyes glinting. “And it’s even still long enough to grip a handful of.”</p><p>Recalling our bedroom activities in the early afternoon, I blushed a little. “Uh huh. I may or may not have kept it <em>just </em>long enough on purpose.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Geoff grinned, his expression a little curious all of a sudden. “Is that how Ryan ‘made it up to you’ earlier?”</p><p>I’d known for months that Geoff and Ryan quite regularly exchanged details of what they did to and with me, something I had never minded because it meant that we were all on the same page with regards to intimacy, kinks, the safe word, etc. I was also aware that for some reason, the idea of sharing me excited Geoff and gave Ryan an odd sense of satisfaction when they discussed me, each of them far from minding the other having me. It was a strange blind spot for Ryan’s jealousy but I was extremely glad of it; I couldn’t stand it if he suddenly decided he didn’t want Geoff in my life.</p><p>This though, was the first time I’d ever been <em>present </em>for the conversation and somehow hearing Ryan describe what we’d done in detail was getting me almost as hot as doing it had. He was also playing deliberately on the fact that I was right there between the two of them on the sofa, the pair undoubtedly noticing how pink my cheeks had become.</p><p>But when we reached the part about the knife, Geoff very clearly looked taken aback.</p><p>“An actual knife?” he questioned, visibly looking at Ryan as though asking what the fuck he had been thinking.</p><p>“He was really careful,” I smiled, appeasing him a little. “It was so good.” The last few words had been said with a slight happy sigh in my voice, causing Geoff to tilt his head a little, inquisitively.</p><p>Before I could stop him, he was lifting my blouse a little, untucking it from my jeans’ waistband. I hadn’t looked at my abdomen since earlier, but now the pink lines were barely visible as he stroked a hand over my skin there. I wondered if he’d been expecting to see deep cuts or something because I could almost see the relief in his eyes.</p><p>“You’re so into pain in the bedroom that it’s scary sometimes,” Geoff chuckled, shaking his head.</p><p>“Yeah, isn’t she perfect?” Ryan smirked.</p><p>Geoff smiled in agreement. “She is but I think I’ll leave the knife stuff to you two.”</p><p>I nodded, reaching up to kiss his lips softly. “I’ve noticed you don’t particularly like causing pain with the exception of spanking and paddling.”</p><p>“Not really,” he grinned. “It’s hot to watch you enjoy it if Ryan’s doing it I guess, but when I was holding that scratcher thing before…I just couldn’t do it as hard as he does. I know you like it but it goes against my every instinct.”</p><p>Ryan cocked an eyebrow. “You won’t scratch her but you have no problem choking her?”</p><p>“I didn’t say it made sense,” Geoff laughed quietly, observing me. “Hey, you okay?”</p><p>“What?” I asked stupidly, glancing at him, still flushed. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…weird to hear you both have this conversation.”</p><p>And by ‘weird’ I meant sexy as fuck. And sexier still to hear them talk about me like I wasn’t there, oddly. The way Ryan had described me on my knees for him while he cut off my airway for brief periods, the way he detailed how he’d gradually prepared me so that he could fuck me himself, the way that he’d denied me my orgasm until the very end when I was tied up and unable to move…all while he was smirking so deliciously, his eyes glinting with slight lust and Geoff listened intently, a smile on his own lips as he occasionally glanced at me.</p><p>Ryan looked sideways at me. “I need you to tell me the truth about something; does it bother you that I call you names during sex? Because I don’t mean them, you have to know that.”</p><p>“Neither do I,” Geoff added. “No matter what I say, I don’t actually think you are a slut or a whore. It’s just hot in the heat of the moment.”</p><p>I shook my head in honesty. “No. I know it’s just play. And it is hot,” I smiled as I remembered something. “And…oh! I have a new choker.”</p><p>“I noticed,” Geoff remarked, his eyes slipping from mine down to the narrow leather band around my neck. “Very cute. Although, you should know it was from both of us.”</p><p>Of course it was. My fingers automatically went to it, contentedly feeling so very lucky to have these two men in my life in the way they were.</p><p>I shuffled self-consciously because my mind was now feeding me images of Ryan playing with me earlier and while it was a fantastic distraction, it was also arousing me beyond belief.</p><p>“Millie’s here. We shouldn’t talk about this anymore,” I said in a slightly hushed voice now, not that she could possibly hear us.</p><p>“Aw, why?” Ryan asked, gazing at me knowingly. “She’s asleep.”</p><p>“Because…she…might hear,” I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. But by this point, they both knew me far too well for me to play this off.</p><p>“I bet you were really goddamn tight,” Geoff smirked in my ear, running a hand through my hair gently in a deliberate attempt to turn me on now, “when Ryan fucked your ass.”</p><p>I squirmed again, nodding but resisting a little. “Guys I…we shouldn’t…”</p><p>“Shouldn’t what?” Ryan had a habit of putting on a softer, more teasing voice with a smile on his lips when he was asking a question he already knew the answer to and as he leaned closer to me, his hand slid up under my blouse slowly, warm on my skin.</p><p>“We shouldn’t get into this,” I gasped, closing my eyes briefly because Geoff had now taken to kissing my neck. “Stop…what if Millie hears or walks in?”</p><p>“Are you horny? Is that your problem?” Ryan asked, running a hand over my bra-covered breast.</p><p>“Yes that’s my fucking problem,” I replied sassily, trying to pull it together. There was a nine year-old in the house and asleep or not, it seemed kind of risky to engage in anything like this. But they were working me up gradually, knowingly turning me on. “You’re going to have to stop,” I groaned.</p><p>Ryan smiled, still tantalisingly caressing my skin under my shirt. “By the way, did that thing you ordered arrive yet?” He was looking at Geoff, causing me to glance between them, lost.</p><p>“It did, but…I’m still not sure about it,” Geoff said and for the first time there was hesitation in his voice.</p><p>“What thing? What are you not sure about?” I asked curiously. “Did you guys plan something for tonight?”</p><p>“Not for tonight, no,” Ryan answered me, avoiding my first question. “I brought you here for comfort, because I wanted you to have it from us both and I know how much you love when we hold you. I figured you’d fall asleep easier and after everything, you deserve that.”</p><p>I smiled a little, reaching for both of their hands. “Thank you. But…what thing? What’s the thing?”</p><p>“Something that will have to wait until you can make as much noise as you like,” Ryan replied with a devilish smirk.</p><p>“Like tomorrow, when Millie is at her dance class,” Geoff added, squeezing my hand.</p><p>Excitement was filling me at the prospect of this surprise, but the way Geoff’s eyes betrayed his obvious nervousness about it added a small dose of doubt to my mind too, because I still regularly wondered how far Ryan’s kinks extended.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If anyone has a parent like this, I am truly sorry. Nobody deserves to be judged and treated this way. I’d also like to mention that my own mum is absolutely amazing and nothing like the mother in this fic. ♥</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. Candid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan &amp; Geoff propose a new fantasy and you’re unsure at first. A surprise arrives at Geoff’s door the following morning.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Discussion Of Explicit Content (until halfway down)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I lay on my back in bed, sleepily yawning amongst the bedding as Geoff and Ryan shuffled to get comfortable either side of me. It was interesting how they’d continued to discuss our relationship even while we’d all proceeded to bed (with me occasionally chipping in) because we never usually did this. It had gotten to the stage where we were openly discussing things we liked and didn’t like in the bedroom, the conversation surprisingly enlightening.</p><p>“So, now that Ryan’s had you in the ass, when do I get to do that?” Geoff asked me with a grin, stroking a hand over my bare torso affectionately under the duvet.</p><p>I felt my cheeks redden at his bluntness, but my lips formed a reply before my brain caught up to filter them. “Whenever you want to.”</p><p>The pair of them laughed softly, with Ryan running his palm along my thigh at the same time.</p><p>“Geoff told me about the role play you two had, inspired by that dream of being watched by strangers,” he smirked. “You really seemed to get off on it.”</p><p>The room was dim with the lights out, but we could see one another’s expressions well enough as the three of us lay there and I could tell they were both enjoying this discussion greatly. </p><p>Shyly, I nodded. “I don’t know why.”</p><p>“You don’t have to know why,” Geoff pointed out, still grinning. “If it’s good, it’s good, right?“</p><p>Having shed all but my panties and of course, my choker, I yawned lightly as I thought about this for a second. He was probably right but I still couldn’t help but ponder exactly what about it got me so hot. How could I be self-conscious about wearing something like a skin-tight catsuit months ago for a photoshoot and then also be aroused by the idea of people watching me be intimate <em>while naked?</em></p><p>“I feel like I’m in a bubble when I’m with either or both of you,” I confessed, playing with the lace trim of my panties absently with my fingers as I realised that this might be the very reason. “Like I could do anything and still feel safe.”</p><p>“Aw,” Ryan smiled, tugging his pillow down under his head a little more. “You’re cute.”</p><p>Geoff was looking pensive. “Next week – after Christmas – I’ve gotta fly to LA for business. Wanna come?”</p><p>I’d never been to Los Angeles before in my life so this was an exciting opportunity, albeit a totally unexpected one. “Just with you?” </p><p>“Yeah,” he confirmed, still stroking my skin. “It would only be for a day and one night. We’d fly back the following morning.”</p><p>“I mean…is it okay for me to just come along too?” I asked, knowing how expensive plane tickets were, not to mention my time off of work.</p><p>“Yeah, sure, I’ll sort it,” Geoff smiled. “I’ve taken Gavin before. We’ll be staying at a hotel I’ve stayed at in the past…it has the best private pool if you’re a Gold Member.”</p><p>“You’d better look after her,” Ryan chuckled. “Don’t lose her in the crowds.”</p><p>“I won’t, I’ll attach a leash to her or something,” Geoff laughed, genuinely kidding at first, but then pausing. “Now there’s an idea…”</p><p>“That’d be fucking hot,” Ryan commented, speaking my thoughts aloud as I glanced between the pair of them. “Why didn’t I think of that?”</p><p>The image of me on my hands and knees for the pair of them while they petted me and made their demands flashed through my mind immediately. </p><p>“You can leash me if you want,” I shrugged, giggling a little when they both smirked at me. “You both like roleplaying, right?”</p><p>I knew that Geoff was pretty open to it already; the fact that he had bent me over his kitchen table while we pretended I was his naughty school student and he was my professor one evening proved that fact pretty clearly. </p><p>“It’s funny you should ask, because…” But oddly, Ryan trailed off and didn’t continue. “Actually, never mind.”</p><p>Confused, I peered at him in the dim light, more curious than ever. “What?”</p><p>Geoff’s voice was slightly hesitant. “Was it…what you told me the other day?”</p><p>My interest was piqued to its highest capacity now that I was aware they both were in on this.</p><p>“Whaaat?” I whined a little, leaning close enough to Ryan to smell his soft hair, which was scented faintly of coconut from his shampoo.</p><p>“No, nothing…” Ryan breathed, sounding strangely like he was sighing.</p><p>“She might like the idea,” Geoff told him, raising his eyebrows. “You won’t know until you ask her.”</p><p>“It’s pretty insensitive though, given what happened for real,” Ryan replied, his mouth twisting a little in uncertainty. </p><p>“What the hell are you guys talking about?” I asked, desperate to know now. “Tell me or I start tickling you.”</p><p>“I’m not ticklish,” Ryan replied stubbornly, but I was convinced there must be somewhere that he was. There was a huge silent pause but finally, he began to explain.</p><p>“I have this…twisted fantasy,” he said slowly, as though if he prolonged the explanation it would give me more time for it to sink in, “where you don’t know us at all and maybe you’re just walking down the street in that red short skirt you own. And…we abduct you.”</p><p>I blinked, confusion filling me as I tried to read his expression. “What…?”</p><p>“And you resist, obviously, but we take you somewhere, tie you up and have our way with you,” Ryan continued, obviously unsure how I was going to react to this. “I told Geoff that after you got kidnapped for real, I didn’t think you’d exactly warm to it. I wouldn’t blame you.”</p><p>Thinking all of this through as I absorbed what he’d just admitted, I found myself fairly unsurprised that this was a fantasy he had. He’d always liked my playful resisting of being tied up and making me nervous, and while it was true that being abducted for real had been terrifying, it wouldn’t be even anywhere near scary if it were Ryan and Geoff, playing a role with me knowing I could trust them implicitly. </p><p>“So…we’d all be acting,” I said, picturing the possibility of this scenario. “You two would be pretending to take advantage of me and I’d be pretending I didn’t want to be taken advantage of?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Geoff answered simply, which made me instantly wonder how much of this was Ryan’s idea. “It would be like an elaborate…well, rape fantasy.” </p><p>Ryan was breathing evenly beside me in his usual calm way, but I could tell he had tensed up slightly in wait for my response either way. If he was worried I was going to judge him then he didn’t need to be, but I still couldn’t quite understand the appeal.</p><p>“We can try it,” I said into the quiet. “I guess I just don’t quite…get it.”</p><p>“I think you might if it happens,” Ryan said quietly, “but we’ll understand if you don’t. It’s just something fun I’ve wanted to try since I first started dating you.”</p><p>“So…you’d want me to act like I’m in pain or something?” I was still bewildered, my thoughts trying to arrange themselves to make sense of this new kink. I knew that neither of them would ever dream of actually raping or injuring anybody in this way, but perhaps the point was that it was with me and they would have my actual consent regardless of how I was pretending?</p><p>“No,” Geoff said slowly. “I don’t want you to cry, neither does Ryan, but…just maybe…” He hesitated, obviously thinking carefully about how to phrase what he wanted to say.</p><p>Ryan helped him out. “The resisting and play-fighting-us-off would be hot. But maybe you’d realise how much you actually like what we’d be doing to you after a while, even if you ‘don’t want it’.”</p><p>Beginning to finally see what they were getting at, I nodded a little. It was a greater play on their dominance over me, but spiced up. I still wasn’t sure about it, but I figured that if it happened and I didn’t want to go through with it, they would definitely back off as soon as I uttered the safe word. What he’d just said had also reassured me, because for a moment I’d wondered if they were implying that me being in tears was somehow sexy to them.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll bite,” I smiled, already aroused at the idea of them both being rough with me, even more so than usual. “We’ll have rules though, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, there’s a couple of things to go through,” Ryan said, clearing his throat and reaching to stroke my hair gently. “How would you feel if it took place somewhere you weren’t familiar with at all?”</p><p>I knew my answer immediately as I tilted my head a little towards his hand. “Fine, because I’d have you two with me. I trust you, even if I’d be pretending not to at all.” I grinned innocently on my last sentence.</p><p>“Blindfolds, gags, restraints, general roughness,” Geoff listed off. “All okay?”</p><p>“Yep,” I nodded, now actually feeling my excitement building. When exactly were they planning for this to happen? </p><p>“How attached to your underwear and clothing are you?” </p><p>This was a weird question. “Uh…depends on what I’m wearing? In what way?”</p><p>“Fair enough,” Ryan smiled. “You might want to wear something you don’t mind being cut off of you.”</p><p>My mouth fell open a little as I imagined all of this playing out in my mind. “When is all of this going to take place, exactly?”</p><p>“If we told you that, it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun,” Geoff smirked. “But…let’s say sometime within the first week of January. After we get back from the business trip.”</p><p>I looked from one of them to the other as Ryan’s fingers continued to stroke at my scalp through my hair, ever-so-lightly. “So I’m supposed to wear my red skirt all of that week?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Whose idea was this?” I had to know. I suspected strongly, but with how much input Geoff had, it clearly wasn’t entirely one-sided.</p><p>“Mine.” Ryan leaned to kiss my lips affectionately. “But Geoff suggested a bunch of additions. I also wanna clarify that the entire reason it works and is so hot is because we have your explicit consent. The second you say ‘red’, it stops. We’ll look after you.” </p><p>This was relieving to hear out loud even though I knew it deep down already.</p><p>“How are you planning on kidnapping me?” I inquired, curiously. </p><p>“You’ll see,” Ryan smirked.</p><p>Gradually, the talking seized as the three of us fell to sleep, with Geoff nuzzling up to me from one side and Ryan still resting his hand on my thigh as he lay on his back on my other. My mind was still bouncing around scenarios and erotic ideas based on everything that had been said, resulting in it taking a little longer to drift off.</p><p>***</p><p>Millie was staring at me with her bright blue eyes as she ate her eggs and bacon the following morning, wearing her dance class black and white matching tracksuit (it was more of a hip-hop-street kind of class than ballet, which she wouldn’t be caught dead at apparently). Ryan was in the shower while Geoff cooked, but when he too sat down beside us with his own breakfast, I shot him a slightly questioning glance as to why his daughter was staring at me.</p><p>Yes, Ryan and I arrived in the night while she’d been in bed so she was probably a little confused, but her gaze was slightly unnerving. </p><p>"Are you you guys dating?” She asked suddenly, surprising us both.</p><p>“Yes,” Geoff replied honestly, picking up a bacon rasher between his fingers to eat it.</p><p>“Cool.” Millie went back to her food, seemingly satisfied as though she’d already suspected as much. “You’re here a lot and you look at him like Mom used to.” This last sentence was directed specifically at me.</p><p>Man she was switched on for someone who wasn’t even quite ten yet. </p><p>Geoff smiled a little, meeting my eyes. I was glad of this because I wasn’t quite sure how to take a comment like that.</p><p>The sound of padded footsteps tapped across the floor as Ryan appeared in his jeans, t-shirt and socks, his hair still damp from the shower. He smiled brightly at Millie before rustling around for some bread to make toast.</p><p>Of course Millie knew who he was from the office because she’d met him maybe a dozen times over the years, but never before had she seen him here in her dad’s house. She said nothing as he waited for the toaster to pop and buttered his toast, eating it whilst leaning against the counter and gazing out of the window. </p><p>“So how’s your English class going?” I asked her, recalling how the last time we’d spent time together she’d admitted she was being bullied for her difficulties in reading aloud.</p><p>“Okay,” she replied, chewing. “My teacher sent a kid out because he kept laughing and copying me messing up.”</p><p>“Good, ignore that asshole,” Geoff said firmly, right as there was a loud bark from just outside that distracted us all instantly for several reasons.</p><p>Number one, Geoff’s front yard was pretty big, meaning that for a dog to sound so close would mean that it was practically under the window which brought into question where on earth its owner was. Number two, the dog sounded distressed, its barking marred with whining.</p><p>Dropping her fork, Millie was out the front door before any of us could stop her with Geoff tearing after her protectively. Ryan and I peered out of the window at them as they verbally addressed the mutt that clearly had no owner and was limping. He was medium-sized and a raggedy brown, his fur matted and his ears pricked. His tail was between his legs though as he showed no signs of aggression. </p><p>“Where did you come from?” The young girl was asking quietly, soothing the dog with her voice as Geoff held on to her arm because he didn’t want his daughter going any nearer.</p><p>Curiously, I headed to the door too and sized the dog up. He was clearly injured, homeless and bearing no collar but to be honest if he had had an owner, I would have shouted them down for neglecting him so. The dog’s big brown eyes locked with me for a couple of seconds before he slowly limped over to me, still whimpering and seeming to be of a gentle disposition.</p><p>It was definitely his front left paw that was causing him pain.</p><p>“We should drive him to the vet clinic,” Ryan suggested from behind me, his arms folded. “He doesn’t look good but he might belong to someone. He could be chipped.”</p><p>“I hope not,” I frowned, squatting down to the dog’s level and slowly offering my hand out. With a lick and a nuzzle, the dog accepted my gesture of affection. “He’s in terrible condition.”</p><p>Geoff was still eyeing up the mutt. “He’s not going in my car.”</p><p>His fancy Audi, with its clean black leather seats and shiny dark high-tech interior would never have seen such filth, I was sure. </p><p>“I’ll take him,” Ryan sighed. His considerably cheaper car had fabric seats and had never been an object of pride for him; it was merely a way to ferry around his children and get himself to work and back. It had also had plenty an animal in it in the past due to him and Laurie owning several cats and dogs that now resided purely with her.</p><p>We finished our breakfast rapidly, with Geoff taking Millie to her class while Ryan and I helped the mutt into the back of his own car, me sitting beside him to keep him calm for the journey. It was a short one but all the while the dog was starring at me with his big brown eyes, as though wondering where we were taking him. I attempted to examine his paw while we were sitting still like this with his head across my lap, but his fur was so dirtily tangled that it obscured his paw pads.</p><p>I’d met Laurie only once or twice ever. She seemed like a genuinely nice person, empathetic to a point but also practical and logical which tied in well with her career. I had no idea if she knew I was dating her ex-husband, but for some reason I felt considerably younger than her and thus inferior in her presence. She was highly-qualified, together, smart and attractive all rolled into one and as Ryan carried the injured dog into her private practice veterinary clinic and asked to speak to her, my nerves bundled up and caused my stomach to twist horribly. When she had picked up her children the other week from Ryan’s house, I’d hidden upstairs, not because I was afraid of her but because I had no idea how she’d perceive seeing me in his house.</p><p>I knew she wouldn’t care who he was dating now, but something about being in the same room as both of them at once made me feel immediately awkward. They had been high-school sweethearts; where had it gone so wrong? Maybe I was just feeling insecure because they had been together for so long and knew each other so well.</p><p>She strolled out in flats, a long white coat and a smart blouse and skirt underneath, her long red hair tied up into a neat ponytail. She was slightly shorter than me, curvy and really very pretty, though she’d attempted to hide the dark circles under her eyes with makeup. Despite this, she smiled confidently and made the mutt her priority immediately.</p><p>“Where did you find him?” She asked as Ryan and I stood on the opposite side of the examination table a few minutes later while the dog lay docile for her to use her stethoscope. “This isn’t your dog, right?” Her eyes pierced me accusingly then and I found myself looking down submissively as I shook my head. She knew who I was I was sure, but only as a friend and colleague of Ryan.</p><p>“No, he just appeared in the front yard. Nobody was with him,” I replied. My voice was quieter than I’d intended it to be. I cleared my throat and forced myself to look at her while she grabbed a handheld scanner and checked for a microchip. </p><p>“Poor thing’s got fleas and desperately needs a bath,” she sighed, checking the computer screen behind her. “And he’s not chipped or collared. Goddamn irresponsible people.” Her tone of voice changed completely into a softer, higher one. “Hey little guy, let me look at your paw, okay?”</p><p>It was a thorn, carefully extracted and the wound cleaned after she’d cut away the matted fur to access the area. She then gave him a shot of something that he didn’t appear to feel (or at least, he didn’t react to it) before looking directly at Ryan unblinkingly.</p><p>“Eli has the dentist next week, I made him a routine appointment,’ she told him flatly.</p><p>“Okay,” he replied.</p><p>“He’s also decided he now hates anything yellow,” she continued, still checking the dog over. “That includes food, toys and clothes.”</p><p>“What?” Ryan sounded exasperated, showing any kind of emotion for the first time since we’d entered the room. “Since when?”</p><p>“Since this morning,” she rolled her eyes. “He screamed bloody murder at his scrambled eggs, refused to put on his coat and suddenly, his favourite bedtime buddy is out. I’m hoping it’s a very short phase.”</p><p>“God I hope so too,” he said, running his palm across his stubbly cheek and chin as he gazed at the dog on the table.</p><p>I remembered how he had told me before that Laurie had always preferred him to be clean-shaven while I liked the opposite and wondered if she was thinking about this too at this moment while they conversed.</p><p>The dog needed to stay at the clinic for a few days for observation since he seemed so weak and lifeless, with Ryan promising to pick him up then as long as I pitched in to look after him too. I had no problem with this at all, already feeling responsible for this creature who had sought out help from us. </p><p>Back in the car, I dared ask what I’d been wondering for the last half-hour. “How did you guys break up?”</p><p>For a minute as we sat there, I thought he wasn’t going to answer. I wondered if I should apologise for even asking.</p><p>“We weren’t compatible. Neither of us were happy in the end.”</p><p>Did he mean socially? Sexually? Generally? Their jobs were bound to have clashed a fair amount and I wondered if they’d simply never had time for one another and had merely forced it work only for their children.</p><p>“Geoff should be home again,” he commented casually as he drove us back. “Hope you haven’t forgotten about that surprise we have for you.”</p><p>I definitely had. After last night’s conversation about strange sexy kidnap fantasies and then this incident this morning, the brief mention of their trying out a new ‘thing’ had been wiped from my mind.</p><p>“Are you going to tell me what it is now?” I asked, watching him smile mysteriously.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Of course not. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. Hot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Ryan and Geoff introduce a few new kinks and you decide you <i>really</i> like it.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Wait here,” Ryan told me with a smile as we walked through into Geoff’s kitchen and living room area. I shrugged okay and flopped down onto the sofa, putting my feet up on the coffee table and crossing my legs over one another. Some crappy daytime TV talk show was on but as I flicked around the channels I found an old film I used to love as a kid starring Robin Williams. </p><p>Ryan had disappeared off to find Geoff probably, but I felt cautiously exhilarated while I contemplated what on earth they had found on the internet now. They had been referring to an object that made Geoff nervous though Ryan had persuaded him to buy it all the same, but my innocent mind couldn’t comprehend what could possibly be added to our bedroom experiences at this point. </p><p>My phone buzzed with a message from Hanna, letting me know that she was going over to visit Todd and that Mom kept trying to call her but she was ducking her calls after how she’d spoken to me yesterday evening. It stung that our mother hadn’t messaged or rung me even once but I also didn’t think I would have had the stomach to answer even if she had. </p><p>My eyes glazed over as my mind wondered. I’d seen this film so many times that I could easily tune out and tune back in and still know what was going on, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her harsh unfair judgement of two of my most favourite people who were currently talking about god-knows-what somewhere else in the house.</p><p>I refocused on the film, making the conscious decision to stop dwelling on it. She had gotten into my head before and how I’d felt during my meeting with Laurie had proven that - why should I feel inferior to her? She was several years older and as such was much closer to Ryan’s age, but so what? The fact that she was so accomplished didn’t mean that I was worthless in comparison. It absolutely didn’t mean that she was more deserving than me of having a life and being happy. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t good enough for Ryan and Geoff.</p><p>Shaking me out of my strange trance, Geoff stood by the couch, having approached while I’d been lost in my thoughts. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hey…” I smiled, gazing at his odd expression filled with both excitement and nervousness that replicated how I suddenly felt. </p><p>“This was my idea originally,” he told me as he reached for my hand to lead me over to his bedroom, “but Ryan had to talk me back into it. You know the safe word if you want to use it.”</p><p>“Sure,” I replied, still holding out trustingly though my curiosity was killing me. Wondering what on earth the room was going to look like as he pushed open the door, I blinked a little because nothing looked different at all compared with this morning except for the bed being devoid of its duvet and the fact that Ryan was looking at me intently. A slight blush rose upon my face because I recognised that expression immediately as the same one he had given me right before he’d ‘reclaimed’ me out of jealousy the other week.</p><p>From behind me, Geoff was pulling my t-shirt up over my head as I assisted him right before taking the hint to undo my own jeans next and slide them down. </p><p>“I’m guessing you want me totally naked?” I asked with a cheeky grin as a smirk tugged at Ryan’s lips while he watched me. </p><p>“Preferably,” Geoff replied in my ear as he ran his hands gently down my sides to my hips while I stepped out of my pants and panties, leaving them in a pool on the floor. I unhooked my bra and dropped that too before I felt a hand on my lower back, encouraging me to step towards the bed.</p><p>Something smelled exceptionally good I realised then, faintly like citrus but with an undertone of something darker and more seductive. It was drifting throughout the room slowly and as I lay down on my back on the bed at Geoff’s firm insistence, I noticed several small round lit candles on the nightstand nearest the window, the kind you buy in a little metal tin that has a lid. Never before had they attempted to create a romantic atmosphere, not that I minded particularly, but this decision to suddenly start struck me as unusual especially during the day.</p><p>“That smells really nice,” I remarked as Ryan nodded in agreement and the pair of them just gazed at my naked form for a moment before they mutually seemed to decide to sit either side of me. “What…exactly…are you planning?” I asked, still oblivious because neither one of them had so much as touched me yet, let alone kissed me or straddled me.</p><p>But when Geoff picked up the candle, a lightbulb illuminated in my mind right before he moved his hand. Holding it some distance up from my torso as it continued to burn, he tipped it up slowly. </p><p>I squeaked a little as the warm wax hit my skin and pooled there, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I’d been expecting in the seconds I’d realised what he was about to do. It cooled rapidly but remained liquid as he reached to spread it over my skin, warming it.</p><p>“Massage candles burn at a really low temperature,” Ryan smiled as Geoff basically emptied the first candle gradually on me, smoothing it over my abdomen and breasts with his free hand as I squirm a little at the pleasant feeling.</p><p>Because the wax clearly wasn’t ordinary candle wax and was far more oily, it coated my skin with a wet sheen that remained there and I noticed Geoff was eyeing me almost hungrily as he picked up a second candle. Soon enough, Ryan had joined him in rubbing it all over my thighs and hips too. </p><p>“Is it edible?” I asked curiously because of how good it smelled while Geoff grinned, his hand running right up and over my now-slippery breasts again with relish. </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>My skin was flushed despite how fast the wax-oil had cooled down, my arousal spiking a little from the very brief pain followed more prominently by the fact that I was now being gently groped by the pair of men either side of me. </p><p>I felt Ryan slide a slick hand down over my crotch causing me to whimper ever so quietly.</p><p>“Fucking hell you look good,” he murmured as I glanced down at myself. Being wet from the shower was one thing but right now I was basically <em>shiny</em> and I knew that we were definitely fulfilling one of Geoff’s fantasies for sure.</p><p>“<em>So</em> good,” Geoff added, paying particular attention to my nipples with his thumbs now as he slid them back and forth in small movements. </p><p>I arched my back a bit. “Is this what you were so nervous about?” I gasped at him, pleasure rushing through me.   </p><p>“No, not these,” Geoff replied, relenting as I relaxed again. “I was nervous about the next ones.”</p><p>“The next ones?” I asked as I noticed Ryan was reaching for something else along with a silver Zippo lighter. </p><p>This candle was different; it was my favourite colour of purple but I wasn’t sure if that was just a coincidence. It was a long, tapered candle like you’d maybe have on your dining table at a really fancy dinner, its wick white right before it was lit and it turned black and began to smoulder gently. </p><p>“These burn a little hotter,” Ryan warned me softly.</p><p>Geoff’s mouth had dropped to my torso to lick slowly up the length of it as I watched the candle in Ryan’s hand begin to very slowly melt at the top, perilously close to dripping down. The first few spots that landed on my thigh instantly burned more intensely than the massage candle had, but the pain still faded just as fast.</p><p>It was still a shock despite my expecting it, causing me to flinch and suck in breath. </p><p>“You okay?” Geoff asked, his eyes concerned as Ryan moved his hand away so it was no longer hovering over my legs, the two of them awaiting my response before continuing. </p><p>“Yeah…” I replied softly, fixated on it. “I’m good, keep going.”</p><p>The next few spots of purple wax landed on my abdomen as Ryan watched me watch the wick burn, the flame reflecting in his darkened eyes as he smirked devilishly. Geoff had taken to sliding his fingers over my clit teasingly at the same time, causing me to moan and gasp in equal measures as they both toyed with me so very differently.</p><p>For much the same reason that the scratching did, this new form of pain was turning me on incredibly quickly as I fought not to writhe in response to it. Seeing this, Geoff withdrew his fingers and grabbed at my hands to pin them whilst kneeling behind me, keeping me a little more still. I gazed up adoringly at his upside-down face, my lips slightly parted as Ryan allowed the candle to drip over my breasts now, burning so delectably before fading and leaving only hardening purple wax on my skin.</p><p>Taking cue from the slightly older man, Ryan finally straddled my thighs despite still being fully clothed, seemingly only to keep me from moving at all now.</p><p>“Why are you so fucking perfect?” he asked me, rhetorically. </p><p>I whined as he held the candle upright to allow it to melt more before tipping it up once again, causing more hot wax to drip. </p><p>“Keep still,” Geoff commended, his hands tight on my wrists that were against the mattress above my head as I lay there.</p><p>“I’ll try,” I breathed as Ryan cocked an eyebrow because I couldn’t help myself and flinched again.</p><p>“Try harder,” he chuckled, returning to massaging my slick breasts again with his free hand. He couldn’t gain enough purchase on my nipples in order to pinch them, but he could still flick at them lightly with his fingertip which elicited a moan from me followed by a whimper as the hot wax dripped once more.</p><p>There was something about the back-and-forth nature of the pain versus pleasure that had me submitting to the highest degree, aroused and willing to do anything to please these men while they played with me.</p><p>“I’m so wet,” I moaned, observing Ryan as he met my eyes. </p><p>“Why am I not shocked?” he smiled, glancing briefly at Geoff. “I told you that you had nothing to worry about.”</p><p>“Fucking sexy little pain whore,” Geoff grinned down at me while leaning to kiss my lips gently, though upside-down. “Can you multi-task?” </p><p>Raising my eyebrows a little, I nodded. “I guess so…” I guess the surprises were just going to keep on coming. </p><p>I should have expected this to lead somewhere because the next thing I knew, Ryan was blowing out the candle, placing it aside and helping me into a sitting position. I was a little encrusted with dried purple wax and still glistening all over.</p><p>They were now discarding their own clothing while I watched, the roles briefly reversed as I noticed with satisfaction how hard they both were for me. The fact that I turned them both on so much was a pretty good ego boost, I can’t lie.</p><p>Geoff lay down on the bed on his back, his hips hanging off the bed ever-so-slightly and his legs bent at the knees so that his feet were planted on the floor. “Sit on my face, sweetheart,” he smirked at me, causing my jaw to drop. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“You fucking heard him,” Ryan said in a low voice while he walked around to the edge of the bed, gripping my hair tightly and directing me into position. As I straddled Geoff’s head with my knees either side on the bed, I positioned myself carefully and leaned right forward, realising that I was now face-to-face with Geoff’s dick as he was with my crotch. This was basically sixty-nining but with extra steps, I thought. </p><p>“Your hand’s going to be on him and your mouth on me,” Ryan instructed me, his legs apart either side of Geoff’s closed knees as he stood before me so that he could feed me his own dick while I wrapped my dominant hand around Geoff’s hard length.<br/>I now understood what he’d meant about multitasking. </p><p>Ryan still hadn’t let go of my hair, which was only making me feel more like the slut I wanted to act like I was and as soon as I felt Geoff’s hands clutch at my ass cheeks and his tongue slide into and around the folds of my pussy, I almost forgot what we were doing. I quickly remembered and opened my mouth wide whilst resting my forearms on Geoff’s torso in order to both balance and jerk his dick at the same time. </p><p>The slightly younger of the two wasted no time, knowing very well by now how much I loved to pleasure him this way while he moaned a little. The trouble was, I’d never been in a scenario of being eaten out whilst simultaneously pleasing two other guys at the same time before and I was struggling a little at not forgetting to use both my hand and mouth at the same time on each of them.</p><p>With a dark chuckle, Ryan warned me not to smother Geoff as he worked his tongue on me. It didn’t take too long for me to find a rhythm though, my hand moving independently as I felt the former man take over control and start to thrust into my mouth, occasionally choking me and watching with smug enjoyment as I moaned in response to both this and Geoff’s incredible oral work. </p><p>However they’d thought up this positioning, it was definitely working for all three of us at once. The room was quickly filled with our pleasured moaning as I felt myself getting close, the other two guys probably feeling the same way. Ryan didn’t even ask or warn me, instead just finding his release in my mouth because he knew I’d submissively take it regardless from our past experiences.</p><p>“Fuck,” he groaned, momentarily releasing my hair as he ran a hand back through his own before backing off a little.</p><p>Without really thinking after swallowing, I opened my mouth wide again and took in Geoff’s dick now instead, still using my hand at the same time as he groaned against my pussy at this new level of pleasure. I felt Ryan place his hand on the back of my head in a domineering move that made clear he approved of this.</p><p>“I bet you want him to come down your throat too, don’t you, dirty bitch?” He taunted me, pushing me closer to orgasm with his words as I felt myself begin to lose control. I felt Geoff start to come as my own climax hit me like a train, waves of intense bliss shooting through me as I tried to maintain my position and not just grind on his face like I instinctively wanted to. </p><p>Finally, I exhaustedly gasped for breath as the pair of them lay down beside me, the three of us pretty goddamn contented. </p><p>“How do you always know the right thing to say?” I asked Ryan as he smirked sideways at me in reply. </p><p>“I know what gets to you,” he said simply. </p><p>Playfully, Geoff lifted his upper body up on his elbow in order to lean and lick at my nipple again because I still tasted of the massage candle.</p><p>I giggled because it tickled a little but while Ryan also licked slowly up my arm while I watched, I realised that as the hardened purple wax from the hotter candles had partially cracked away from my skin that I was covered in strawberry-coloured marks. They didn’t hurt and I wasn’t sore, but they were definitely plainly visible.</p><p>“Will those fade?” I asked, curiously running a finger across one. It wasn’t even raised. “These patches?”</p><p>“Yeah, don’t worry,” Geoff smiled. “Might take a few hours, but they’re not permanent.”</p><p>Ryan stroked a hand along my thigh and dug his nails into my flesh a little. “Roll over, beautiful.”</p><p>I blinked but did as I was told, laying flat on my stomach and resting my head on my crossed forearms as he picked up the last small circular burning candle. </p><p>“I’m going to ruin your sheets, Geoff,” I grinned at him while he stroked my hair, because I was now covering them in what they’d poured all over my front.</p><p>“I don’t care,” he answered me with a smile as I felt the warm wax hit my back before Ryan began to rub it in firmly with both hands. </p><p>He started at my shoulders, massaging down down to my lower back and actually doing a pretty impressive job. Maybe if Rooster Teeth went under, he could get a job as a masseur. Or maybe not, because the next thing he did was run his oiled hands over my ass cheeks with gentle caress, repeatedly, which would definitely get a masseur fired immediately. </p><p>“Ry,” I giggled. “Really?”</p><p>“Am I supposed to see you like this and not stroke your ass?” He asked in a light-hearted yet demanding tone.</p><p>I had actually expected a slap for my slight sass, but instead he continued down to the backs of my thighs. I sighed and let out a relaxed sigh as his hands returned to my shoulders, still firm with intention but sliding smoothly over my slick skin slowly. </p><p>“That’s pretty gentle, for you,” Geoff smirked at him. I couldn’t see Ryan of course but I imagined he probably gave him a wry look.</p><p>“I can be nice,” he replied lightly. “When she’s a good girl.”</p><p>It always astonished me when the pair of them would interact normally whilst still being stark naked, but I supposed that it wasn’t nearly the big deal it was for many women. Whether it was because of our relationship, their friendship or just who they were, somehow it clearly wasn’t awkward for them even when aroused. I tried to imagine myself in the same position with Meg and immediately wished I hadn’t because I felt a familiar tingle shoot to my crotch at the image of her naked. </p><p>With reckless abandon, I sat upright and straddled Geoff before leaning down to kiss his surprised lips. He reciprocated with very little hesitation, his hands going to my hair as out of the corner of my eye, Ryan bent down to pluck something else out from under the bed. My entire body was still slippery, the oil transferring to Geoff’s chest even more copiously as I forced Meg and her bare porcelain skin out of my mind.</p><p>“So…where do you guys draw the line with intimacy between each other?” I mused aloud when my mouth finally left Geoff’s.</p><p>“Why, would it turn you on if we fucked?” Ryan smirked, obviously joking. </p><p>“Uh…probably, because I’m so attracted to both of you,” I admitted, but with a laugh. Add that to the list of things that would never happen. “I was just curious though because you get pretty close to being sexual to each other sometimes…”</p><p>Geoff raised his eyebrows. “Only through you. And believe me, you being between us matters.”</p><p>“If you’re referring to the occasions I’ve encouraged you to get Geoff off,” Ryan cocked an eyebrow, “it turns me on watching you submit and be dirty, not watching Geoff come.”</p><p>This honesty was interesting because as Geoff nodded in agreement to this statement, I realised that I was literally the only sexual link between them. Without me, they would never have even gotten horny in each others’ presence.</p><p>As I considered this, my eyes were drawn to Ryan’s hand because he was holding something new, but it wasn’t him that explained it.</p><p>“On the way back from taking my daughter to dance class,” Geoff grinned mischievously, pushing me off of him suddenly so that he could straddle me instead as I gazed up at him, slightly startled. “I stopped by the pet store.”</p><p>Ryan knelt beside us on the bed and leaned down to clip one end of the thin leather leash to my collar, the other end wound around his hand. He tugged it lightly with a satisfied smirk.</p><p>With relish, Geoff tilted his head a little to the side as he eyed this. “Tell us who you belong to.”</p><p>Usually it was my other boyfriend that would demand this, so the words coming from Geoff’s mouth caught me a little off guard.</p><p>Nonetheless, I was ready to answer instantly, still shiny from massage oil and smattered with purple wax as the sheets stained beneath me.</p><p>“You. Both of you.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You discover details about Ryan and Laurie’s ex-marriage and wind up part-adopting the dog you took to the vet’s the other day.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is unrelated to real life and is absolutely <b>not</b> commentary on Laurie as a real person or her real situation. It is entirely fiction and nothing here should be taken as my real opinion or as fact on the real-life marriage between her and Ryan.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I sat across from my mother with Hanna beside me in my favourite Austin coffee shop, stirring my latte absently. Despite how she’d spoken to and treated me at dinner the other evening, I still felt that I could hardly just ignore her while she was here over Christmas of all times. I’d cooled off a little, still adamant about my life being my own regardless of what she thought and I vowed not to let her upset me again like she had before, but I was definitely guarded. </p><p>“You know that I love you dearly, don’t you?” She asked me out of the blue, her expression actually gentle. “It’s only because I care so much about you that I said those things.”</p><p>People often displayed their love for others in strange ways, almost as though the human brain can’t quite figure out what to do with all of the affection that’s filling it and misdirects it. It was the old hair-pulling-in-the-playground scenario. Or in my case, my mother warding men off of me out of fear that I’d get really hurt by them as she judged them not to be good enough.</p><p>“Of course I do,” I replied flatly, breaking a piece of off my chocolate muffin. “But you were totally out of line. You didn’t even give him a chance. I don’t want you to even meet Geoff because of how you acted.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said, surprising me. She never usually backed down from a fight, often thinking her word should be the last and that she was always right. Currently she was admitting fault, which was so out of character for her that Hanna stared at her for a moment. “I raised you both alone, you’re my girls. I spent years protecting you both and keeping you safe.”</p><p>“You don’t need to do that any more,” I sighed, trying to see her side. “I get that you’re our mom but you’ve got to get over these prejudices you have of my boyfriends.”</p><p>Even at the plural of ‘boyfriends’, she closed her eyes for a second longer than could be considered a blink, as though she was really struggling to come to terms with the idea. </p><p>“I did a Google,” my mother said, startling me yet again because she was not normally technologically-minded and generally only used her old out-of-date smartphone for calls and texts. “That Polyamory thing you mentioned Hanna, I looked it up.”</p><p>Well knock me down with a blimp. She may as well have said that she’d signed up for a Pornhub account.</p><p>“You did?” Hanna asked, sounding bewildered. </p><p>“I just don’t see it lasting,” Mom continued, her voice calm as she met my gaze. “How are you supposed to settle down with <em>both</em> of them? Don’t you think that sooner or later, you’ll have to pick one of them?”</p><p>I groaned a little, taking a big bite of muffin to give myself time to think about what I was going to say. “None of us want kids together and I don’t want to get married. The end.”</p><p>“It isn’t the end, though.” She wasn’t being aggressive in her tone in contrast to the dinner conversation, instead sounding more concerned than anything. “What about when you want to live with one or both of them? Will you all live together? You work with them both too; what if something happens with the relationship and you break up with them? What about your job?” </p><p>I had no idea how to answer her because I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I highly doubted anything was going to come between us, but the point about our living situations was still valid - I doubted that Geoff and Ryan would enjoy living together and contemplated whether I’d be okay with living permanently between the two of them and not having my own place any more like a child of two divorced parents or something.</p><p>Not knowing what to say, I sipped my coffee instead. Hanna seemed to sense my awkwardness and threw in her opinion in my silence.</p><p>“Mom, just trust her. She knows what she’s doing.”</p><p>Vastly appreciating this, I smiled a little at her. But did I? Did I really know what I was doing, dating my boss and colleague, the three of us all in the public limelight where a breakup could interfere with my future and career?</p><p>“I’m just worried that when it comes crashing down, you won’t know where to turn,” my mother sighed heavily, her fingers curled around her cup of tea. “You seem absolutely besotted.”</p><p>When. <em>When</em> it comes crashing down. That is what she had just said. </p><p>“It’s not going to,” I said firmly. “They’d never hurt me like that.”</p><p>“Men are not islands, dear,” she carried on after my response. “They’re humans who make mistakes too. Ryan has a bond with his ex-wife over their children that you will never have with him and nothing can break that.”</p><p>This stung a lot, though it was probably true. The same could be said about Geoff and Griffon by the same token. </p><p>“He’s committed to his children, which I admire and respect,” I said diplomatically. “But he and Laurie weren’t right for one another. They were just together for a long time.”</p><p>No more was said for a couple of minutes as I checked my phone only to see my Twitter feed blowing up at something. Thankfully it didn’t seem to involve me, but I only had to scroll briefly to see what the source of all the commotion was. </p><p>Meg’s ‘Only Fans’ page pictures had been leaked out for all of the internet to see by somebody and they were now all over Twitter in the form of links and straight-up images in timelines tagged under her. As a glamour model, she often posted playfully near-nude and sometimes sexually suggestive pictures that had been professionally photographed of her in various cosplay outfits and themed costumes. Her official page required a paid subscription to access the images and thus support her financially but it was always impossible to prevent the photos appearing in other places for people to view for free too and it had happened before. </p><p>What hadn’t happened before was <em>me</em> seeing these pictures. Usually to do so, you would have to actively type her full name into Google images - which I had obviously never done - and you would be greeted by hundreds of images (some photoshopped but most of them just legit pictures) of her almost naked and looking stunning.</p><p>My eyes widened as I scrolled. Bikini shoots, topless shoots with her arm tastefully covering her chest, lacy lingerie shoots, anime themed cosplay shoots with differently-coloured wigs, naked waist-up shoots with only cross-pasties covering her nipples…the images went on and on.</p><p>And I couldn’t stop staring. </p><p>One in particular had her kneeling up on an iron-framed bed, the room shadowy behind her as her hair hung very darkly around her shoulders and down her back. The bra and panties she was wearing were tight, shiny black latex and she had a slight smirk on her face as she wielded what was clearly a whip.</p><p>My breath caught in my throat as I quickly turned off my phone’s screen and shoved it back into my pocket. </p><p>For the rest of the coffee meeting with my mother, I couldn’t concentrate at all. I imagined what Meg might be like in the bedroom; her tone would likely be commanding as she made her wish for me to submit to her clear. I remembered how she’d indirectly admitted to tying Gavin up in the bedroom and wondered if she would have eyes full of lust while she bound me to that very bed as well.</p><p>And then guilt filled me so intensely that I wanted to throw up. Standing up abruptly from the table, I mumbled that I had to go. With Hanna’s confused voice following me out of the cafe, I hailed a cab but then actually hesitated. I couldn’t go to Ryan with this. Geoff had Millie and was surely busy.</p><p>Lindsay - I could definitely talk to her. I told the driver hers and Michael’s address and when we arrived outside, I climbed out and knocked on the door while admiring the little yellowy-lit up reindeer models in the front yard.</p><p>“Hey!” The bright face of Lindsay Jones greeted me as she dragged me into a hug, inviting me in despite my showing up out of nowhere totally unexpectedly.</p><p>“I need to talk to you,” I told her, watching as she grinned and we walked into her kitchen where she seemed to be in the middle of something important. “But I can come back if now isn’t a good time…”</p><p>The room smelled delectable and in the oven was clearly a tray of cookies, explaining immediately why she was covered in flour. </p><p>“No, I’m good!” she grinned, placing a mixing bowl into the dishwasher and closing the door of it before licking some raw dough off of a spatula. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Is Michael here?” I asked first, indicating that this was a serious topic I was about to bring up.</p><p>“Nope, he’s out. You can talk to me in total confidence and even get cookies when they’re done,” she smiled, disposing of an empty packet of chocolate chips.</p><p>I paused, knowing that I could trust her but not knowing how on earth to phrase my predicament.</p><p>“You know I’m with Geoff and Ryan.” This was a statement, but Lindsay observed me patiently. “I love them and don’t plan to leave them, but recently I’ve realised that I have a crush on someone else.”</p><p>“Hm,” she nodded a little. “Who is it?”</p><p>“Well that’s where my difficulty is…because it’s a woman,” I answered her. “And I’ve never had a crush on a woman before.”</p><p>Raising her eyebrows a little, Lindsay made no comment on my sexuality as she continued to lick the spatula. “It’s not me, right?”</p><p>“No,” I smiled, shaking my head.</p><p>“Oh, phew, I thought for a second there I was going to divorce Michael and run off into the sunset with you,” she grinned. “So who is it?”</p><p>I chuckled a little at this thought. “Meg Turney.”</p><p>“Goodness. It’s just a crush, right?” Lindsay asked curiously. “She doesn’t know you feel this way?”</p><p>“God no,” I laughed. “It’s just that I’m <em>confused</em> because when she kissed me at the office party, I kind of wanted it to keep going. And someone just leaked a bunch of her photoshoot images all over Twitter and I…like them.” This was an understatement.</p><p>“Okay, look at it like this,” Lindsay said calmly, “even if you think you might be sexually attracted to her…so what?”</p><p>She had a point. I clearly wasn’t going to act on it because it would upset both of my boyfriends, neither of whom I wanted to hurt or break up with, not to mention Gavin. I loved them and cared for them way more than this odd little crush I had on Meg all of a sudden, but I still felt insanely guilty every time she slipped into my mind uninvited. Almost like I was already cheating on Geoff and Ryan, the latter in particular. </p><p>“I just feel guilty,” I confessed. “She even popped into my head when I was being intimate with my guys the other day.”</p><p>As Lindsay raised her eyebrows, I realised too late that I’d overshared. </p><p>“Whoa, back up,” she laughed. “Both of them? At the same time?”</p><p>“Don’t say a word to <em>anyone</em>,” I hissed, my face in my hands. “But yes. Anyway, that isn’t the point right now.”</p><p>“Oh yes it is,” she replied, her attention entirely on me now as her task to clean up the kitchen before the cookies were done was abandoned. “Do they…do stuff with each other?”</p><p>“No,” I answered her, “they tend to focus on me.”</p><p>There was a brief pause as Lindsay folded her arms, her expression slightly awestruck. “Damn. Lucky.”</p><p>My face grew hot as I recalled my most recent experience with the pair of them. My skin was no longer littered with pink patches from the hot candle wax but my mind still frequently revisited the kink at the oddest of times as though my unconscious mind yearned for that excitement again.</p><p>“I am, but what do I do about Meg?”</p><p>With a giggle, Lindsay just looked at me. “There’s nothing <em>to</em> do. People have crushes on other people while they’re in committed relationships, that’s normal. It might even go away after a while. Why are you so worried about it?”</p><p>“I guess I just…feel bad,” I said quietly as the oven bleeped its timer to tell us the cookies were done. I watched as she peered through the glass door before sticking an oven glove on her hand and removing the tray.</p><p>“Don’t,” she said firmly. “Don’t take this in any wrong way but what they don’t know can’t hurt them. As long as you don’t act on it, you’re fine. I guarantee to you that they will have other people they crush on too.”</p><p>I took a slight breath. She was right - I was only human. I was allowed to have attractions to people that weren’t my significant others so long as I didn’t hurt them. “Right. Thanks.” I stepped closer to the counter where she’d placed the cookies individually on a cooling rack now. </p><p>“Get ‘em while they’re warm,” she grinned, gesturing to the the enticingly golden-brown cookies.</p><p>***</p><p>Christmas Day was drawing closer very quickly but as I answered my door to Ryan on the eve of it, he smiled down at me. I grabbed my coat and we walked down to his car, jumping in and heading for the veterinary clinic. </p><p>“Did Laurie say much on the phone? Is he okay now?” I asked while we drove, referring to the dog we’d brought her the other day that had turned up in Geoff’s front yard out of nowhere.</p><p>“She said he looks much better and he’s become more…energetic,” Ryan replied, stopping for a red light. “I know you can’t have pets in your flat but I don’t know that I want to adopt a dog right now.”</p><p>I glanced across at him. “But he has nowhere to go. We can’t just abandon him.” </p><p>“I don’t mean leave him on the side of the road, I’m not a monster,” Ryan said as I gawped at him.</p><p>“But maybe a shelter.”</p><p>“No!” I said with such force that he actually looked very slightly alarmed. “That’s basically a death sentence. We take him there and he won’t find a home, I’ve seen the movies.”</p><p>“He’s cute and young-ish, some family with kids will want to adopt him for sure,” Ryan shrugged, sounding so sure of himself. But I was putting my foot down.</p><p>I pouted. “I’m not leaving this dog at a shelter.”</p><p>Raising an eyebrow at my clear sudden commitment, Ryan sighed. “Alright. Suit yourself.”</p><p>Dr Laurie was wearing her wavy red hair down today, her lips like red velvet from her lipstick. She</p><p>looked incredibly professional and together, once again making me feel slightly intimidated. </p><p>“I’m glad you brought the dog in,” she told us as she led us down the white linoleum-floored corridor. “He needed a few good meals, a serious bath and trim and some treatments for fleas and worms.” She pushed open a door to a small room with a couple of dogs and a cat in spacious cages with water bowls and beds in them. Obviously some were still undergoing treatment, but there in the corner was my dog.</p><p>“He’s going to chew everything,” Ryan warned me. “He’s probably not even house-trained.”</p><p>“I don’t care, I’ll train him.” I knelt down to open the cage up with Laurie’s permission and immediately, his tail was wagging and his tongue hanging out as he scrambled up all over over me. He was nearly unrecognisable save for his face and eyes, but his fur was now a much lighter brown and silky from being washed and groomed. He looked to be something between perhaps several other breeds but his floppy ears and squarish snout gave away the spaniel in him. </p><p>“Yeah but you’re talking about having him live at <em>my</em> house,” Ryan pointed out. “I’ll have to do most of the work.”</p><p>At this comment, I noticed that Laurie tucked her hands into the pockets of her long white coat. <br/>I shot him a pleading look. “How can you deny this adorable thing?” I appealed, ruffling the dog’s ears.</p><p>Ryan’s light blue eyes gazed directly at me, his mouth turning up a little in slight amusement. “I guess I can’t. Fine, where are the release papers?”</p><p>Laurie had been watching us with interest, her expression curious. “Out at the reception desk.” </p><p>Ryan left the room, probably sure that I would follow as Laurie handed me a simple leash to attach to the dog’s plain collar that one of the vets had put on him so we could take him home safely. </p><p>“I know that this is none of my business in the slightest,” she smiled a bit, placing her hand on top of mine as I reached to take what she was handing me, “but be careful with Ryan, okay?”</p><p>I stared into her forest-green eyes. “What?”</p><p>“You seem very nice, very…sweet,” she continued softly as I shuffled uncomfortably. “But he’s a little insatiable at times in many ways.”</p><p>Seizing the opportunity, I spoke before I could think. “Why did you two break up?”</p><p>She blinked in mild surprise. “Look, I don’t want to bad-mouth him because I don’t think badly of him. But I couldn’t deal with his controlling attitude and jealousy any more. He can be wonderful as I’m sure you’re aware, and he’s an amazing father to our kids,” Laurie sighed as though she had sympathy for me, oddly. “I just needed my own space. He’s very..clingy.”</p><p>With no idea whether to feel patronised or not that she felt the need to ‘warn’ me about Ryan, I said nothing. Clearly Laurie and I were two very different people.</p><p>“Anyway, as I said, I know this is none of my business,” she said, obviously expecting me to say something now.</p><p>“It’s fine,” I said quietly. “I know what he’s like but…I don’t mind. I like how he is.”</p><p>“Then you’re more tolerant than me,” Laurie said plainly, still not looking away as she appraised me with her eyes while mine dropped to the floor, my cheeks warming a little. “Or maybe tolerant is the wrong word…”</p><p>The door opened and Ryan strolled back in, cocking an eyebrow at our obvious silence upon his appearance. “Ex-wife and current girlfriend left alone together, this can’t be good,” he joked as I quickly clipped the leash to the dog’s collar to avoid his gaze.</p><p>“Ha-ha,” Laurie said sarcastically. “I was just telling her how delightful you are when you decide that every part of my life is also yours.”</p><p>“Oh come on, we’ve talked this to death,” Ryan groaned a little. “I just get very invested.”</p><p>“Uh huh, yeah, you sure do,” Laurie rolled her eyes. “And it’s nice that you’ve found someone willing to deal with that. Bring the dog back if he deteriorates, okay?”</p><p>The atmosphere in the room had changed somewhat and as we left with the dog trotting along by my feet, I realised I hadn’t taken a breath until we reached the clinic doors and left. I gasped a little to compensate, causing Ryan to stop walking and stare at me.</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“That was awkward,” I commented, clearing my throat while he unlocked his car.</p><p>“What did you two talk about?” He asked lightly as I opened the door to the back and climbed in with my new dog, apparently. </p><p>“Uh…nothing much,” I lied. “I just meant because you two used to be married.”<br/>Ryan paused as my hand stroked the silky fur of the mutt across my lap. His voice seemed uncertain. “You sure?”</p><p>“I might have asked why you two broke up…” I said hesitantly. </p><p>“You- what?” Obviously I had caught him off guard with this comment because he turned around</p><p>in his driver’s seat to look me in the eyes. </p><p>I blinked a little like a deer in the headlights. “Well…I was curious…I’m sorry. She didn’t say anything really bad.”</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Ryan gripped the steering wheel a little tighter before starting the engine. “What <em>did</em> she say?”</p><p>“That you were controlling. And jealous. And that she’s independent.” I looked down at my new dog to see his big brown eyes staring up at me before he lifted his head to look out of the window at the now-moving scenery. “But I pretty much know all of that.”</p><p>Ryan nodded slowly whilst speaking carefully. “When I said before that we weren’t compatible when you asked me why we broke up, I meant mostly in the bedroom, but there were things in our everyday lives too. We just clashed, she’s so headstrong and stubborn. She was understandably tired a lot and…we drifted apart.”</p><p>I listened with morbid interest, hoping I hadn’t upset him or something. “I’m going to hazard a guess that you didn’t have the kind of relationship you have with me, even before your children.”<br/>He chuckled quietly then but there was no humour. “In the last couple of years…we didn’t even have sex. I didn’t push the issue because she was never in the mood, but it drove a wedge between us for sure. She’d be vaguely affectionate but only in the sense of kissing my cheek or hugging me like she hugs her brother.”</p><p>I was beginning to see why Ryan was so clearly attracted to me. I was smitten, willing, fun, submissive, up for trying new things and made him feel happy and wanted. I didn’t mean any disrespect towards Laurie though; she had admirably trained for years to get where she was and their two kids wouldn’t have made that easier, especially when she started actually working. That would be enough to make anyone tired all of the time, but perhaps if she had stopped being intimate with her husband, it wasn’t just the tiredness. Had she just stopped seeing him in that way or had he done something to put her off?</p><p>I found myself feeling sorry for both of them, but then if they weren’t right for each other it was probably better they hadn’t stayed together. </p><p>“We took breaks a few times, throughout our marriage,” Ryan sighed. “I missed her during these times, but I also realised what I was missing out on. When I started to notice you more around the old office building before I joined Achievement Hunter and found myself thinking of you more and more, I realised I wasn’t happy in my marriage. Laurie felt the same way when we talked about it.”</p><p>My jaw dropped open a little. “Oh god, it’s my fault?”</p><p>“No!” Ryan laughed. “I’m not blaming you but you might have been the final catalyst in light of everything else. I dated a few other woman while Laurie and I were on those breaks but none of them lit a spark in me like you.”</p><p>Heart fluttering, I bit my lip. I’d never really thought about when Ryan and Geoff had begun to notice me in that way, but hearing the fact that Ryan had dated other people during his time with Laurie was definitely news to me. I’d been under the impression they had been devoted childhood sweethearts until the end with their breakup shrouded in mystery. The reality was that while they were bound to have been happy at some points, they obviously hadn’t been overall. </p><p>Something struck me then. “Did you two talk about the fact that you were into another woman at your office when you had that talk with Laurie?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Ryan shrugged nonchalantly. “We both laid our feelings and emotions out on the table.”</p><p>“So she’s known we’re together for some time now?” I asked him slowly, realising that while I’d been shy about being in her presence for wondering what she would think about my dating her ex-husband, I hadn’t needed to worry. </p><p>“She doesn’t care,” he reassured me, knowingly. </p><p>“She seemed to feel a little…sorry for me?” I frowned, remembering her sympathetic tone. “As if I didn’t know what I was getting myself into with you.”</p><p>We pulled up outside of Geoff’s house, which confused me somewhat. I was about to ask why but then I noticed that Ryan was shaking his head his amusement as he switched off the engine.</p><p>“I hope you’re ready to beg Geoff to let you keep your new pet,” he smiled, turning his head to look at me and the dog in the back seats. </p><p>I grinned. “So that’s your plan to get away with not adopting this dog?”</p><p>“It absolutely is. Honestly, the dog will be happier here,” Ryan told me as we knocked on the front door. “You might have to bribe him though.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You persuade Geoff to adopt the stray dog with Millie’s help and the following day, you &amp; Hanna go to Christmas dinner with your mom and her ‘new’ partner. You also have another short sex dream involving Meg.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Working in retail is rough right now and it’s been busier than ever because people just don’t know how to adhere to Covid warnings and protective measures and are still shopping at our non-essential store. Those of you who know, know. Those of you who don’t…bear with me because I’ve just been so tired and stressed lately but writing this is one of my few lifelines right now, along with all the support from my friends &amp; family. ♥<br/>-<br/>Brief Explicit Content Warning</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Millie answered the door, her light hair tucked behind her ears. Her eyes lit up immediately upon seeing the mutt still on his leash, ducking down to pet him and ruffle his silky floppy ears while Geoff called out to her.</p><p>“Who is it, Millicent?” </p><p>“[Y/N] and Ryan!” she called back, her hands still on the dog’s head. He licked at her with his long pink tongue, his silky tail in the air wagging furiously. </p><p>Surprised, Geoff walked into view in sweatpants and a navy blue t-shirt.</p><p>“What the hell are you two doing here?”</p><p>“Um…well…we just picked up this dog from the vet, y’know the one that appeared on your lawn the other day?” I cleared my throat as Millie grinned. “And Ryan is a heartless bastard that won’t take him in.”</p><p>Geoff folded his colourful arms as his voice dripped with amused sarcasm. “Shocking.”</p><p>“Hey come on, whoa,” Ryan laughed. “I’m not heartless, I just don’t have time for an animal. I wouldn’t be able to give it what it needs.”</p><p>“I’d name him Rex,” Millie was saying distractedly as I realised that she was going to help me persuade Geoff into this. “He looks like a Rex. He’s cleaned up good! He was so dark and dirty the other day.”</p><p>Geoff beckoned us inside and we walked through to the spacious kitchen and living room. ‘Rex’ seemed to be excited by the presence of so many people along with a new place to sniff around and potential things to chew. Worryingly, he began eyeing up the Christmas tree.</p><p>“Let me fuckin’ get this straight,” he smirked at me. “Ryan said no, so you’ve come begging me instead. What about your place?”</p><p>“My landlord would literally make me homeless, he has a hardcore ‘no pets’ rule. My neighbours would rat me out at the first sign of barking,” I groaned. “Otherwise I would.”</p><p>While the dog strained on the leash, Geoff finally bent down to pat him gently. “Hey buddy.” </p><p>And then Millie did exactly what I’d hoped she would do - she turned her clear blue-eyed gaze towards him, her face full of hope. “Please, Dad?”</p><p>“I travel all the time,” Geoff sighed, his attitude reluctant. “And I’m away so much.”  </p><p>“I can drop by to take care of him while you’re not around,” I pointed out as Millie nodded, “if you give me a key.”</p><p>“Gavin can look after him too, when he’s not in England!” she added enthusiastically. Her voice rose a slight bit higher in her excitement and Rex barked loudly in apparent agreement.</p><p>“I don’t want to take him to a shelter,” I said pleadingly as Ryan stood silently beside me, his hands tucked into his jeans’ pockets as he watched on.</p><p>Outnumbered and slowly warming to the friendly spaniel-cross despite his misgivings, Geoff rolled his eyes in defeat. “Okay, I guess I have a fuckin’ dog now.”</p><p>Millie dragged the leash out of my hands as she took Rex to ‘show him around the house’, verbally explaining where everything was as the dog pitter-pattered beside her happily. Once she was out of earshot, Geoff’s eyes locked with mine.</p><p>“You owe me for this. You owe me big.”</p><p>“Okay,” I grinned as Ryan chuckled. </p><p>“I mean it,” he continued as I took a couple of steps forward to loop my arms around his neck. “Big time.”</p><p>“Just name it,” I smiled, kissing his lips gently as his arms slid around my waist. </p><p>“I will when I decide to tell you,” Geoff replied, a twinkle in his eye. “Just you wait…”</p><p>“Gonna fill me in or are you going to tell me afterwards?” Ryan asked with an arched eyebrow, folding his arms. “I won’t tell her, I promise.”</p><p>“Sure,” Geoff smirked at him, much to my chagrin. “I’ll text you later.”</p><p>“Oh come on,” I whined a little, “at least tell me what you’re planning!”</p><p>Distantly upstairs, I heard Millie explain what her computer was for to Rex, telling him that he wouldn’t need to use it ‘as a dog’ but that it was a magic box for humans to use to talk to other humans.</p><p>“Wait until our trip. You’ll find out,” he answered me with a smile and a brief kiss on my lips as his hands slid downwards, over my ass. “Now go home before I’m tempted to drag you into my shower.”</p><p>I grinned, very much wanting him to do just that but knowing that with his daughter here, there was no chance.</p><p>“I need to get home too,” Ryan replied. “I’m driving up to my parents’ this evening for Christmas Day tomorrow. I’ll drop you back at your flat, [Y/N].”</p><p>I suddenly found myself yearning to spend the holiday with the pair of them as well as my own family, but that probably wouldn’t go well where my mother was concerned. “Sure, that’d be great. Merry Christmas, Millie!”</p><p>She gave the same sentiment back from the other room, accompanied by a loud bark.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>With great satisfaction, Meg stood back from the X-frame that I was bound to with red rope, bare and spread-eagle for all to see. I strained helplessly a little bit, unable to break free while I watched as she walked all of the way around me in the middle of the room, gazing at me appraisingly from every angle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The walls of the room were composed of thick grey breeze blocks, the floor smooth concrete as I shivered in anticipation of what she might do, but I didn’t have long to contemplate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Guilty, guilty, guilty,” she sighed, her eyes dark and her frame covered by a slim black strappy dress, the fabric of which ended abruptly not even halfway down her thighs. Her hair hung loose below her shoulders, curly and vivid red as she came to a halt before me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What?” I asked quietly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Guilty,” she repeated, stroking a finger under my chin as I hung there, suspended against the black wooden saltire cross. “Your guys have no idea how much you want me, do they?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I shook my head, wanting to protest but she was walking away from me now and over to the door in the corner. “Where are you going?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She shot me a brief smile as she pulled on the handle. “Nowhere. I’m just letting your audience in.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their faces were nondescript as I slowly became aware of the fact that I was probably dreaming, but the humiliation burned no less harshly on my face as a few dozen strangers eyed me hungrily, each of them walking over to stand around me in a half-circle. Some of them leaned over others’ shoulders to see better. Others were looking expectant. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>In crystal clear focus, Meg stepped up to me and stroked her palm down my chest to my abdomen, her lips quirking upwards as she did so. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re going to show everyone what a guilty little unfaithful whore you are, now.” </em>
</p><p>I half awoke, my bedroom dark and the clock by my bedside reading three in the morning. I was alone with only my sister in the next room, but my fingers had found my crotch in the wake of my dream which was still vivid in my head. With creative imagination I finished the scene in my mind as I brought myself to a shuddering but quiet climax, my moans stifled by my own hand.</p><p>Breathing heavily, I lay still for a few minutes as the post-orgasm bliss subsided and the guilt set back in. It wasn’t as though I’d actually cheated on my boyfriends, but somehow I felt like I was. It was ridiculous; they both probably watched porn and jacked off whenever they felt like it - how was this any different? Sure, I knew her in real life, but the version of her that my brain had conjured up to be in my sex dreams was not real. </p><p>As sleep fought to reclaim me, morning came far too quickly.</p><p>“Merry Christmas, sleepy head!” </p><p>I scrunched my eyes closed against the daylight as Hanna threw open my curtains and sat on my bed to wake me. I made a vague noise of discontent.</p><p>“We have to leave soon, you’d better get up!” </p><p>Oh shit. I’d overslept so much that it was going to make us all late eating lunch if I didn’t get up this second. I hurried into the shower before getting dressed, going through the day’s plan in my head. </p><p>Mom was bringing her date to Christmas lunch at the restaurant. How goddamn rich, after she’d preached to me about marriage and loyalty so many times in the past. Even after separation when I was very little, my mother and estranged father had never actually gotten officially divorced as far as I knew, but now she was seeing some other man like it didn’t matter.</p><p>“Who is this guy, anyway?” I asked Hanna as I nervously paced, waiting for her to finish getting ready. “Has she said anything about him to you?”</p><p>“Not one word,” my sister shrugged, eying my ugly Christmas sweater as she pulled on her own matching one because it was a rule that we wore them every year. “I don’t even know why she’s bringing him.”</p><p>Neither did I, truthfully. Christmas was supposed to be about family and close partners and neither of us had even met this stranger. Still, when we arrived at the restaurant and met up with Mom who was wearing a sparkly white jumper, she smiled at us as though nothing at all was wrong in the world, her short chestnut hair in a new neat cut.</p><p>“It’s lovely to see you both here today,” she beamed while I felt a little unnerved and two teenagers floated about nearby. I frowned at them, wondering why they were standing so close to us. “Our table is over here. Please, sit. We all need to talk.”</p><p>Hanna and I exchanged a confused look as we seated ourselves, the white snowflake-decorated tablecloth draped over the rectangular wood and the table adorned with festive unlit candles. The entire place was decked out with hanging tinsel and streamers in festive colours, a huge green pine tree standing in the corner lavishly embellished with big shiny baubles and lights. </p><p>“Uh, why are we sitting at such a big table?” I asked, raising my eyebrows because it seated six. That seemed a little excessive considering how busy it was; surely other, larger families might need the extra seats? </p><p>“Now girls…there is something I need to tell you.” Mom sat down beside me, speaking to us as though we were both five years old. “It’s big news. Oh! Here he is!” She leaned around and beckoned someone over. </p><p>I watched as a man approached us. He was tall and slim, his hair greying at the sides above his ears and a nervous smile settling on his face as he sat down to our table, wearing a pale blue jumper with a picture of a snowman on it. He was vaguely handsome I supposed but as he bit his thumbnail and his green eyes darted from one of us to another, it was very clear how anxious he was about this meeting.</p><p>What was more, two older - possibly teenage - girls were sitting down to our table with him. They were both dressed in stonewashed jeans and green Christmas sweaters, impossibly dark-haired and completely identical even down to their expressions which displayed that they would rather be anywhere other than here. Dark eyeliner outlined both pairs of deep brown eyes and as I glanced at them, they scowled a little. They looked to be about eighteen or so, but it was hard to tell because they could have easily have been a few years in either direction of that guess.</p><p>“It’s so good to see you again,” the man said to Hanna and I, his eyes staring directly at Hanna and I across the table. “I know it’s been…a long time. Too long.”</p><p>I blinked in indifference but Hanna froze beside me. Mom, on my other side, was still beaming as though this was an incredible Christmas gift she had barely been able to wait to give to us. </p><p>“I know this is sudden,” Mom said, adjusting her delicate necklace pendant, “but I thought it was time that we became a family again. We’ve been talking about this for nearly a year now and despite our differences…we’re together again.”</p><p>Her voice gravelly, Hanna sat back in her chair. “Dad?”</p><p>My mind raced to recognise him but no memories were coming forward. I didn’t remember him; I’d been too young when he’d walked out and since our mother, in her heartbreak, had disposed of every photo of him, I had no idea what he’d looked like.</p><p>“That’s right,” he nodded. “Your mother and I are making another go of it.” </p><p>“’Til death do us part, right Samual?” Mom trilled beside us, almost causing my gag reflex to kick in. Was she actually crazy? Had she lost her mind? This man had <em>abandoned</em> us and left her in pieces to raise us alone. “Of course, he had a relationship with another woman over the years and…” her eyes flitted to the teenage twins.</p><p>“Our mom died,” the first twin replied to her with venom. “So our dad decided to go back to you.”</p><p>Shock was beginning to set in now as Mom brushed off this insult. These two girls were our half <em>sisters</em>. Perched before us was our <em>father</em>. </p><p>“That’s not quite how it happened, Tessa,” he corrected her before glancing at Hanna and I. “Their mother died many years ago in a terrible car accident. I was broken up about it of course, but more recently I realised that it was fate pushing me back towards your mother. I never should have left you girls.”</p><p>Speaking for the first time, I glared at him. “No, you shouldn’t have. Mom, what the hell were you thinking forgiving him?”</p><p>“It was all a long time ago, dear,” my mother answered me lightly as the waitress stepped over to take our orders. For a moment, we acted like the perfect little family as we relayed our preferences of Christmas dinner to her along with drinks. Hanna ordered wine as did the twins, with the latter two getting ID’d. Since the waitress obliged their alcoholic orders, I realised I had been right about their age being slightly deceptive. They obviously had to be at least twenty-one. </p><p>“You never sent so much as a birthday card,” Hanna said bluntly, her eyes narrowed in clear anger. “We grew up without a dad because you decided you wanted to skip off to some other woman and start a new family.”</p><p>“It was difficult,” the man across the table shrugged a little. “I had a career and addiction issues. And then I met Tessa and Mia’s mother and…things just happened.”</p><p>What a weak excuse. Plenty of men had careers and addiction issues but that didn’t condone leaving your family and never coming back. I thought of Geoff and his struggles with alcohol but the thought of him ever walking out of Millie’s life was laughable - his daughter was his world.</p><p>I shook my head in vague disappointment, but Hanna seemed more on edge than me. I felt utterly detached, like this man across the table mattered nothing to me despite me being his blood. These other two girls had been raised by him while we hadn’t been and now he was back in our lives because he felt like ‘fate’ or some bullshit had brought him back to our mother, but that didn’t mean I had to suddenly call Samual ‘Dad’.</p><p>This Christmas dinner was by far the most awkward of any I had a living memory of. Hanna continued to poke factual yet spiky statements at our father while the twins sat mostly quietly, their dislike of everything very obvious. Our mother was trying to mediate and keep everything light, but there was an incredible falseness to it that was beginning to irritate me as she passed around the gravy boat. Clearly she wanted us all to become a perfect family unit again, but that was just so unrealistic it was almost funny. </p><p>Eventually, Samual picked up the entire bill and we all got up to depart, both Hanna and I thankful that we didn’t have to spend another moment in the company of these strangers and a mother who apparently forgave far too easily. As we walked outside, I noticed that Samual, Mom and the twins headed towards a very expensive-looking car, all silver and curvy with posh cream leather seats. </p><p>I clambered into Hanna’s little second-hand red car as she plugged the key into the engine. “Well that sucked,” I commented aloud.</p><p>“No kidding,” Hanna rolled her eyes. “What an absolute dick. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been fine without a dad for years and I don’t suddenly need one now.”</p><p>I nodded in silent agreement, but I couldn’t help but frown at the memory of his excuses at the table. He lived in Austin, by the seems of things. He had never bothered with contact to either one of us, or Mom before he’d decided to start things back up with her. What the hell did he think he was doing now?</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. LA</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. Geoff takes you to LA for his meeting and you properly experience one of his kinks for the first time, along with one of yours.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Sexual Content Warning</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Warm sunshine filtered through the trees a few days after Christmas as we crossed the roads to reach our hotel, the flight from Austin to LA having been only a little under three hours long. Sliding his pink-framed sunglasses up on to the top of his head, Geoff checked us both in as I admired the swanky cream front desk placed on marbled floor tiles that glittered under the bright, overhead recessed spotlights. This was a hotel that was undoubtably way out of my price range.</p><p>“Company is paying for it,” he grinned at me upon seeing the look of awe on my face as he strolled into the elevator with room keycard in hand while I followed. “But I upgraded us.”</p><p>The elevator doors slid smoothly shut as we moved upwards. Every wall of the dark oak interior stared back at me because of all of the mirrors but I noticed that for once, my hair was behaving itself.</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that,” I told him, wondering just how much it cost to stay here for even one night.</p><p>“I wanted to do it,” Geoff shrugged as we walked along the landing, the carpet dark red with a fancy pattern running through.</p><p>“My meeting’s in a few hours, but I was thinking about going for a swim first. Wanna come?”</p><p>We found our suite which was much more like a tiny apartment than a hotel room. More intricate plush carpet along with cream leather sofas and a huge, four-poster bed with drapes hanging either side over the tall windows were central to the room, but there was also a large flatscreen television fixed to the wall and a tiny kitchen area with a mini fridge that probably charged a ridiculous amount of money for everything within it. </p><p>“You mentioned the pool before,” I commented with a smile as he dropped our bags down by the sofa and flopped down onto it with a satisfied sigh. “I’d love to. Is it outdoor?”</p><p>“Nah, indoor,” Geoff replied, holding out a tattooed outstretched arm in indication that he wanted me to sit with him. “I need to talk to you first, though.”</p><p>I curled up into him by his side as he held me close and gently kissed the top of my head. “About what?”</p><p>“I brought something with me,” he continued, hesitation vaguely present in his voice as his fingers stroked my upper arm. “But we don’t have to use it if you don’t feel comfortable.” </p><p>Raising my eyebrows, I moved back slightly to look him in the eyes. “What did you bring?” Slowly, he gestured towards his backpack, which I immediately went to ferret around in upon his hinting. After a moment of rummaging I pulled out what was surely what he was talking about.</p><p>The thin, black leather leash that he had acquired from the pet store the other week hung from my hand as my mouth opened in surprise and I cast him a look. “You didn’t think to leave this at home for when Rex needs his walkies?” I asked with a slight laugh.</p><p>“No, because it’s yours,” Geoff said pointedly. “And Rex needs a stronger, thicker one than that anyway.”</p><p>Vividly, I remembered the way in which Ryan had clipped it to my choker in the bedroom after he and Geoff had covered me in hot candle wax and had their way with me. An ownership kink had been strongly implied for a while now with the both of them, but Geoff seemed to be more drawn to it.</p><p>I tilted my head to the side. “Are you asking me to wear this in public?”</p><p>With a playful smile, Geoff merely stared at me. “Only if you want to. I did promise Ryan I wouldn’t lose you.” </p><p>Blushing a little at the prospect of being seen out of the hotel being led around by a grown man like some kind of puppy, I cleared my throat. “How far exactly does this kink of yours extend?” I asked, requiring some insight before committing. </p><p>“That depends on how into it you get,” he answered me, earnestly. “I’m not going to push you beyond what you want, but…you’d make a cute pet.”</p><p>With realisation, I recalled when he and Ryan had had me on my knees on the bed in latter man’s house while they scratched and sexually taunted me. Helpless and at their mercy by my own choosing, I remembered Geoff’s breathy voice in my ear - <em>“You’re like our little pet, all collared and tied. Make sure you keep still.”</em></p><p>“So…” I paused before sitting back down beside him, trying to understand. “You want me to act like a dog?”</p><p>“Not…really,” he said, watching me and shuffling a little as he attempted to explain what he wanted. “I’m not asking you to bark or even crawl around on all fours. It’s just an escalation of your submission that you belong to me and you don’t leave my side unless I give you permission.”</p><p>“I don’t think that will be an issue,” I grinned as I watched him reach for the leash and carefully clip it to my choker, “especially while we’re here.”</p><p>“Then let’s go for a walk,” he replied promptly, standing up and heading for the door. Because I didn’t move in surprise, he tugged lightly on the leash before looking back at me expectantly.</p><p>“Now?” I asked.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>After brief hesitation I followed him, praying that we wouldn’t encounter anyone else while we were out of our room. Even out in the corridor, I felt strangely exposed as I walked closely by his side to give the lead as much slack as possible to hopefully make it far less obvious. I was wearing my dark blue skinny jeans and a grey fitted t-shirt, but I knew that the collar and leash would look startlingly out of place on an adult woman to the general public. </p><p>“Relax,” he smiled at me as we casually roamed.</p><p>“I am,” I replied, glancing at him. “It’s just going to…take some getting used to.”</p><p>A tall man in a suit gave us a nod of acknowledgement as he passed us, causing my heart to leap into my throat as I noticed his eyes flit to me more than once as he did a subtle double take. He said nothing though and continued on down the corridor behind us. Strangely, the familiar feeing of faint excitement was beginning to fizzle within me at the idea of being seen to be submitting like this.</p><p>When we circled back around to our room once again, Geoff lead me inside and smirked. “You did better than I thought you would.”</p><p>“How did you think I’d do?” I asked curiously as he let go of the leash, allowing it to dangle down my front. I deliberately didn’t move despite this. </p><p>“I thought you’d freak out being seen,” he shrugged, searching through his rucksack for his swim shorts and towel before glancing back at me. “Are you planning to swim naked are you gonna grab your stuff?”</p><p>I smirked. “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to move without your permission.”</p><p>Grinning, Geoff shook his head. “Such obedience already.”<br/>Doing a lap of the upstairs corridors on a leash was one thing, but</p><p>downstairs was much busier. The thin lead draped semi-subtly down from my choker and was loosely wound around Geoff’s fist by his side as we walked together closely, heading for the pool across the building. Plenty of people passed us but showed us no interest, either because they hadn’t noticed anything odd or because they didn’t care and had more important things on their minds. The longer this became my reality, the more I began to slowly relax as we rounded a corner and arrived at our destination.</p><p>“Before you go, come here,” Geoff told me quietly, unclipping the leather lead and then also removing my choker. “I’ll put these in my locker because sadly, they’re not waterproof.”</p><p>“See you shortly,” I smirked, flitting off to put on my bikini in the women’s changing rooms. </p><p>The private Gold Member pool was every bit as luxurious as the rest of the hotel. Spotlights above highlighted the room without being too bright and the white blinds drawn down against the windows stopped the sunlight from shining into the room and ruining the calming atmosphere. White lights around the edge of the pool wall illuminated the clean tiles along the bottom, the ladders and drains gold-coloured metal that complimented all of the pale marble. It was pretty clear that very few people had access to it and even right now, there were only two other people in here.<br/>With plenty of space, we both slid down into the warm water as I glimpsed a lifeguard sitting over by the bar and some tables nearby. He looked to be in his mid twenties with sandy blond hair as he read his magazine, obviously bored by the lack of activity.  </p><p>“This is great,” I smiled, laying on my back and doing my impression of a starfish while Geoff watched me and couldn’t resist splashing me a little. Spluttering, I righted myself and splashed him gently back with a laugh, earning us a disapproving look from the other two members in the pool.</p><p>“<em>You</em> look great,” Geoff replied slyly, because I was wearing my purple shimmery bikini that I’d worn in Australia and he’d barely taken his eyes off of me for the last ten minutes. “C’mere.”</p><p>With a giggle, I backed up into him so he could wrap his arms around me from behind, the two of us floating around a little as the water smoothly lapped around our arms and chests. His lips slid down to my neck to kiss there softly, his arms across my torso as I made a small noise of contentment. </p><p>“I still want revenge for the dog adoption thing,” he told me quietly, continuing to kiss as one of his hands slipped right down to rest between my legs. </p><p>I gasped a little, the first words out of my mouth full of hushed protest. “Not here, we’re-“</p><p>“In public?” He smirked, cutting me off and slowly rubbing the material of my bikini against my crotch. “It’s <em>almost</em> like I planned this.”</p><p>Turning my head to stare at him, I giggled a little with a blush rising to my cheeks at the same time. “We can’t…do this here…”</p><p>“Can’t do what?” he asked lightly and innocently, as though he wasn’t arousing me more and more by the second. I glanced at the lifeguard across the room but he was glued to his car magazine and the other two members in the pool were paying us no mind.</p><p>“Mmm…” I closed my eyes briefly because it felt nice, but I was still extremely aware of us not being in private. “What…what if they notice?”</p><p>With a playful nip at my ear, Geoff’s breath tickled the skin of my neck when he spoke. “Maybe don’t start moaning loudly and they won’t. And even if they do…so what? You’re hot as fuck - maybe they’d enjoy it too.” </p><p>I was squirming a little now because I needed more and the mixture of slight embarrassment mixed with arousal was creating a strange thrill of exhilaration to rise within me as he slipped his hand down the front of my bikini bottoms beneath the water. </p><p>“Geoff…” I whispered with a tiny moan. </p><p>“What’s up?” he asked, still with the same teasing in his voice.</p><p>One of the strangers was getting out of the pool and walking towards the changing rooms to leave, not giving any indication that he’d noticed anything out of the ordinary happening. </p><p>“Oh god,” I quietly replied, tilting my head back a little against his shoulder while he continued to stroke more precisely now. “Wait, stop…”</p><p>But I didn’t really want him to stop, not truly. If I had, I would have uttered the safe word. And from the way he was continuing, he knew this all too well about me. </p><p>I locked eyes with the handsome blond lifeguard who had glanced up to check on his surroundings and presumably make sure that nobody was drowning. He watched us with a somewhat curious expression for a moment before returning to the glossy pages of his reading material but I doubted he had clocked what was actually going on beneath the water.</p><p>My heart thudded a little faster in my chest as I felt Geoff tug on the strings of my bikini top at my neck and back, completely unfastening it in a matter of seconds as it fell away from me and I squeaked a little, my hands automatically going to cover my breasts. </p><p>
  <em>“Geoff!” </em>
</p><p>His other hand was now running slowly across my bare right breast, gently groping and teasing my nipple as he encouraged my hands away from them. “Shhh,” he smiled into my ear as the pleasure and thrill mounted. </p><p>The other stranger in the pool - a middle-aged looking man - had taken notice of our activities now, his eyes drawn to my sudden toplessness as he stared. He was some distance away but he had halted his swimming entirely in distraction. </p><p>I avoided his surprised gaze as I focused on Geoff’s hands and whispers into my ear from behind me while he gleaned clear satisfaction off of how he was making me feel currently. </p><p>“Well, now that you’ve got their attention,” he smirked, placing my bikini top safely on the side where it wouldn’t float off, “you might as well enjoy it more.” He bit gently into my neck and I moaned a little louder in my brief loss of inhibition. </p><p>“Hey, there’s no nudity allowed in here!” the lifeguard called out, his magazine draping loosely from one hand as he stared, but he made no movement to make me redress or order us out of the pool.</p><p>I grinned as I met his eyes across the pool and cheekily blew him a kiss, to which he merely raised his eyebrows and continued to sit there, obviously unsure of what to do next. I wondered if anyone had done this before on his watch and considering how he looked to be in his mid-twenties, I wondered if he had even been a lifeguard for very long as I observed the tips of his ears turning red in embarrassment. </p><p>With an amused chuckle, Geoff pinched my nipple again and earned himself a gasp as he spoke in my ear. “You are definitely getting off on this.” He had taken to nibbling on my earlobe now.</p><p>Brazenly, I moaned a bit louder as I felt myself beginning to near orgasm, Geoff’s left hand still working my clit while his right roamed my body, particularly around my breasts. “You know I am.”</p><p>I only had an audience of precisely two strangers but that coupled with the way were in a public place compounded how aroused I was as I squirmed again, panting quietly a little because I was getting so close. With his entire focus on my body, Geoff continued to taunt me.</p><p>“You know they think you’re hot as hell, it’s why they’re still looking,” he murmured. “Why don’t you show them how sexy you are when you come?”</p><p>Pushed over the edge, I groaned his name as my orgasm gripped my body and Geoff held me from behind while I tipped my head back in ecstasy against his shoulder. I swore a little as it subsided, with Geoff giving a low moan of satisfaction against my neck with a smirk.</p><p>“Good girl.”</p><p>I smiled at him slightly weakly, noticing the obvious arousal of the lifeguard as he shifted his magazine to cover it and the stranger, who was definitely doing <em>something</em> beneath the water with his hand. Noticing the time, Geoff took a few minutes before we both climbed out of the pool, with me not bothering to even put my bikini top back on since I was about to get dry and change into my clothes anyway. The eyes of the two men watching us followed me all the way around the pool’s edge until I was out of sight.</p><p>***</p><p>My choker and leash had been reapplied to my neck before we’d left the pool area of the hotel, my appetite now rearing its head as we strolled back across the lobby and past the front desk.</p><p>Although I wasn’t permitted to be part of the meeting Geoff had been invited to involving the company, certain finances and planning for a new department, that didn’t mean I couldn’t go with him to wait outside. There were plenty of coffee shops, regular shops and more that lined the streets, meaning I could roam and drink until my heart’s content until he met back up with me. </p><p>We crossed the street upon seeing the green walk signal, continuing up the street for a time.</p><p>“You’ve got your cell, right?” Geoff asked as I grinned.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“And you call me if anything happens, okay?”</p><p>“Okay,” I giggled. </p><p>“I’ll leave that meeting immediately,” he told me as a brunette woman sauntered past us and gave us an odd look. “I don’t give a fuck, I’ll be here.”</p><p>We stopped and I wrapped my arms around his waist, standing on tiptoes to kiss his lips with gentle affection. “I’ll be fine, stop worrying and go.”</p><p>“Alright,” he finally smiled, unclipping and removing my leash to take it with him before turning to walk into the building before us. “Don’t get ice cream without me!” </p><p>The hour or so passed relatively quickly, with me ending up in an incredible and huge book store that was both equal parts book shop and museum/art gallery. It had several stories, the walls lined and packed full with reading material from every genre imaginable, from every time period imaginable, including non-fiction. There were sofas and benches everywhere, so I’d picked one at random from the thriller section and settled in with a well-sugared cappuccino while the time melted away.</p><p>“This might be my new favourite place,” Geoff grinned as he slightly breathlessly approached me, having climbed the grand staircase from the ground floor. I’d messaged him about where I was upon his text that he was done with his meeting. “I could probably live in here.”</p><p>Making a mental note of what page number I was on in the book I’d been absorbed in, I climbed to my feet. I definitely needed to buy this to find out what was going to happen. “How did the thing go?” I smiled.</p><p>“Good,” he shrugged as we trod slowly back down the stairs and across to the counter so I could pay. “Rooster Teeth has a bright future. Loads of new ideas and plans. It’s going to be fantastic.”</p><p>He seemed optimistic and happy, something that I adored seeing in him as we left the book store, heading to get ice cream. Right as we hit the button for the crossing, Geoff seemed to remember our little game and reattached my leash to my choker once again before stroking my hair briefly. It still felt odd to be tethered physically to someone, but I was okay with it as we ambled in the bright, warm sunshine - December in LA was usually not cold with the temperature currently being around 18 C/64 F. </p><p>“Hey, do you have plans for New Year’s Eve?” I asked. “I know there’s a firework public event party in Austin.”</p><p>“Millie’s going to be with Griffon, so not really,” Geoff shrugged, his smile dropping a little. “Unless…you want to go?”</p><p>I loved fireworks and despite being quite the introvert, a huge outdoor party like that for a special occasion with warm donuts and cotton candy was definitely something that I could tolerate and even enjoy, especially with the right people. </p><p>“Yes!” Ideally with him, Ryan and Hanna, which I then explained. </p><p>With a teasing grin, Geoff laughed a little. “How are you going to choose who you kiss on the stroke of midnight?” </p><p>After a second’s thought, I replied with a giggle because this hadn’t occurred to me before now. “I guess both of you, one after another.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. Strawberries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You and Geoff order room service and he keeps you on a short leash.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning</b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Geoff and I spent the evening in our luxurious hotel room, enjoying the multiple comforts and each others’ company as we talked. Though he wasn’t holding on to it at the moment, my leash was still attached and dangling from my choker as we sat on the sofa eating luscious room service food which altogether probably cost more than I made in a week. </p><p>Working at Rooster Teeth didn’t make you automatically rich as most of the public seemed to think; we were still just on nine-to-five desk job wages but the difference was that it was supplemented by our individual streaming tips from fans, holiday bonuses and the fact that through the company, we were constantly being given free stuff by sponsors such as clothing, gaming equipment and food. Add to this the ad revenue if we had individual Youtube channels too and it added up to be a very comfortable above-average living wage. This all gave the illusion that we were all millionaires and while I could probably afford to live in a slightly bigger flat, the truth was that I was far from it.</p><p>Geoff however was far better off than most of us as one of five founding members, and while he could sometimes be very frivolous with money, he was surprisingly responsible when it came to the company’s finances where he was involved. I supposed this was necessary from a business point of view and was one of the reasons that the company was doing well.</p><p>Long story short, none of this was going to break Geoff’s bank account. </p><p>“It’s pretty warm in here, huh?” he asked lightly as I used a bottle opener on a small glass bottle of diet Coke. In his hand was a small remote control, but it wasn’t for the television. </p><p>“Are you turning up the thermostat?” I asked incredulously. “It’s not even cold outside.”</p><p>Geoff leaned back and put his feet up on the glass coffee table and crossed them, his socks blue and green striped. “I was hoping you’d get too hot to stay dressed.”</p><p>I glanced across at the room’s temperature - it was definitely getting a little toasty in here. “If you had your way I’d probably be permanently naked,” I joked, sipping from my bottle.</p><p>“But I can have my way,” Geoff smirked. “Especially since you’re so good at doing as you’re told.”</p><p>I put my Coke down on the table and lunged for him, grabbing for the thermostat remote and successfully managing to pry it from his fingers. “Two can play at this game.” </p><p>“Fuckin’ hell!” He made to seize it back from me but failed as I twisted away from him and hunched over with it. The room’s setting was already at 26 C/79 F so I cranked it up several more degrees before tossing the control over in the direction of the bed before he could retrieve it from me. </p><p>Geoff raised his eyebrows, panting a little from the effort. “Alright bitch, just for that: strip.” </p><p>“Only if you take off your shirt,” I giggled in reply as I felt the leash tug gently because he’d picked it back up again, pulling at my choker deliberately to regain some control over the situation.</p><p>“This isn’t a negotiation, sweetheart,” he grinned. “Strip, or I spank you.”</p><p>“Aw, are you getting all dominant now because I talked back to you?” I asked teasingly, giving him innocent eyes.</p><p>“Don’t make me tell you again,” Geoff said very firmly, his tone serious as his eyes dared me to challenge him.</p><p>Playfully, I pouted before giving in, pulling my t-shirt up over my head and standing to drop my jeans down to my ankles before stepping out of them. The matching dark red lacy underwear I’d bought a few weeks ago was underneath and as his eyes roamed my body without any subtlety, I bit my lower lip, already a little excited. </p><p>“God, you look…” his words fell away as he stared, but it was obvious what the end of his sentence was going to be. Oddly, he was reaching for the hotel room’s phone on the end table by the sofa. </p><p>I watched him trustingly whilst standing entirely still before him, linking my hands behind my back loosely as I smiled and wondered what he was planning while he spoke to reception and ordered room service again. He was requesting the Belgian chocolate coated strawberry selection I’d taken an interest in earlier, my mouth already watering at the prospect.</p><p>As soon as he was off the phone, he pointed to his feet. “Sit.”</p><p>Not taking my eyes off of his, I sank to my knees in front of him obediently. “Geoff?”</p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p>“I really liked swimming with you earlier,” I smirked, clearly referring to the exhibitionism we’d experimented with.</p><p>With a small laugh, he slid his feet off the coffee table and leaned forward a little to cup my cheek with his palm. “I know you did. I did too.” He pulled the leash taut before stroking a hand through my hair. “Had any more dreams about Meg lately?”</p><p>Caught off guard, my mouth opened in surprise. “Yes…”</p><p>Unlike Ryan, Geoff seemed to enjoy this and he was making no bones about hiding it either. “Tell me.”</p><p>“Okay, but…don’t tell Ryan,” I said, immediately hating myself as the guilt reared its ugly head within me. I forced it back down and cleared my throat. “He told me before not to detail any more dreams involving Meg to him anyway.” This was true, but I still felt bad about it.</p><p>“I won’t say a word,” Geoff promised, looking expectant and still running his fingers through my hair affectionately. </p><p>So I described my most recent dream involving my being tied to a saltire cross a little bigger than my own body, my legs spread and my arms above my head and fastened with red rope. I elaborately explained every detail I could remember, including the way that Meg had spoken to me before letting a bunch of random strangers watch her play with me. I also mentioned I’d woken up at that point but had begun to make up details to follow on directly from the dream to get myself off.</p><p>Right as I finished, I noticed that Geoff was looking at me like he wanted to ravish me on the spot. </p><p>“I have no idea where someone would buy a thing like that, but…we need to buy one,” he chuckled, referring to the bondage cross. “What’s made you suddenly so self-confident?”</p><p>I considered this, wondering the same. When I’d described the first exhibitionism kink dream to him, I’d thought about the fact at the time that I didn’t feel as though I would ever be able to actually go through with it for real. And yet earlier today, I’d been topless and orgasming in public, mostly without shame. I’d even blown the cute lifeguard <em>a kiss</em> because he’d clearly been enjoying watching.</p><p>“I guess I just…feel more confident with you and Ryan,” I shrugged a little. “You’re both constantly telling me how hot you think I am.”</p><p>“You are,” Geoff replied, leaning to kiss the top of my head. “You’re gorgeous.”</p><p>Maybe I was finally starting to believe it. Either that, or I’d lost my mind. My self-confidence had never been through the floor, but it had never been this high before either. I ran my hands along his thighs as I knelt before him but my thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the hotel room door. With a pull of the leash, he led me over to it. </p><p>“Stay,” he told me before turning and greeting the young lady server with a charming smile. We both observed as her eyes widened at my appearance of standing stock still in just sexy lacy underwear with a choker and tethered to Geoff. And for some reason, just like in the pool, I didn’t feel self conscious at all. I just felt exhilarated. </p><p>The strawberries were every bit as incredible as the menu had made them sound. They were fresh and huge, half-dipped in both milk and white chocolate, some sprinkled with various types of nuts. My mouth watered as Geoff took one immediately, biting into it. </p><p>“Damn these are good,” he grinned and shut the door as I didn’t move an inch, merely smiling at him. “You can have some too if you want. Y’know, if you’re finished fantasising about Meg.”</p><p>“Thank you Sir,” I replied slightly pointedly, finally reaching for one as he laughed a little. </p><p>“Don’t call me that, I’m not going to be able to control myself,” Geoff smirked, dropping the green stem of his strawberry into the trash can near the door. “Especially after you just told me about that dream of yours.”</p><p>Gazing at him knowingly, I chewed and swallowed before removing my bra and tossing it aside as he watched. “Aw, that’s too bad, <em>Sir</em>.”</p><p>Thoughts of the men at the pool and the woman server just now having seen me in this compromising state of undress were racing vividly through my mind and prodding at my arousal. It was making me want him bad.</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell,” Geoff shook his head, gripping my leash and nearly yanking me over to the bed before sliding his arms around me and kissing my lips with heated passion while the backs of my thighs hit the edge of the mattress. “You’re such a goddamn perfect little dirty bitch.”</p><p>I grinned between his kissing, my hands already tugging his shirt up over his head before grappling with his belt buckle. Jeans undone, he slackened his hold of my leash and pushed me backwards down onto the bed, straddling me and continuing to kiss me with hungry passion while I squirmed beneath his heated body. </p><p>The room had now gotten uncomfortably warm and although we were both already sweating a little, it only served to encourage our intimacy as Geoff kicked off his jeans and sank down to kiss my neck. Automatically my head turned to give him more access, my mind wrapped up in thoughts of us being in public as he pressed his crotch to mine, obviously hard through his boxer-briefs. </p><p>“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?” I asked cornily, grinning as he groaned a little at my terrible joke.</p><p>“Shut up,” he replied with a gentle laugh before attacking my lips again as my hands found the waistband of his underwear and pushed them down as far as I could reach. Getting the hint, he assisted and removed them entirely before swiftly doing the same for my panties. </p><p>My eyes closed and my body arched a little as I felt his hand close around my collared throat, pressing down as I gasped and felt the familiar ache of breathlessness. My legs were nudged open by his knee as he pressed himself against me until I yielded, feeling him sink inside me. </p><p>Despite his grip of my neck he was being surprisingly gentle as he thrust, his fingers loosening and his lips returning to mine with a passionate yet soft caress. He rest his free hand on the bed for balance, the other end of my leash still wrapped around his fist as I moaned, barely able to get enough of him. </p><p>My fingernails were clawing lightly at the back of his shoulders as he smiled at me in indication that he liked it when I did that. I made sure to keep doing it, causing his next moan to sound like more of a growl in response as he thrust harder.</p><p>I whined his name because he felt so damn good but at that moment his cell lit up ringing, distracting us both momentarily. “Ignore it,” I whimpered while he nodded a little, biting into my neck a bit. </p><p>It rang out but then trilled back to life yet again, causing Geoff to roll his eyes and pause, grabbing for it before dismissing it upon seeing the screen.</p><p>“Who was it?” I asked breathlessly.</p><p>“Nothing important,” he mumbled, returning his attention to me but drawing away. He dragged a few pillows down from the head of the bed. “Lift your ass up.”</p><p>I obliged as he shoved them beneath me, raising my hips a significant amount so that he could kneel up a little and fuck me deeper. One of my hands clutched the duvet to the side of me as he pounded me with a lust that I loved seeing in him while we both sweated from the exertion. My other hand was at my clit and it didn’t take either of us much longer to reach our orgasms while I moaned loudly and he dug his nails into my thighs, my name falling breathily from his lips.</p><p>Not one minute later and he was clambering off the bed and over to the tall, wide windows to open one as wide as hotel safety regulations would allow. “We need to turn down the heat, holy fuck.”</p><p>I laughed as I lay there watching him, easing myself up off of the bed as I realised I was drenched with sweat too. “No kidding. I wonder whose idea <em>that</em> was?”</p><p>Shooting me a playful grin, Geoff took my hand and led me into the big en-suite white marbled bathroom. The shower was the swish, walk-in kind; rectangular with an open end and three separate shower heads above and either side of where you stand to pummel you with water. </p><p>My hands went up to undo my leash from my choker, but Geoff dragged it back away as he did it himself, placing both on the side. I turned to walk into the shower after sticking out my tongue at him, feeling a brief and oddly pleasant sting as he slapped my ass for my cheeky demeanour. </p><p>We turned the water temperature down a little so that we didn’t feel as though we were cooking, desperately needing to cool down. Even with this, Geoff insisted on washing me with the soaped-up sponge for a few minutes in silence, standing close enough to me that I could still feel his body’s warmth on mine.</p><p>“I met my dad the other day,” I said neutrally over the sound of the running water, my mind slipping back to Christmas Day. “It turns out my mom’s been dating him for the last year.”</p><p>Geoff’s movements paused very obviously, the sponge resting on my torso as I sighed.</p><p>“For the first time since he left when you were little?” he asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded as he resumed rubbing the coconut-scented body wash all over me gently. “She brought him to dinner. She seems to have forgiven him for everything in the past.”</p><p>“What’s he like?” Geoff inquired, sounding curious.</p><p>“Well he had a relationship in between and now Hanna and I have two half sisters,” I rolled my eyes. “But he didn’t seem that bad. I just…don’t really care about knowing him one way or another, he’s a stranger to me.”</p><p>Geoff handed off the sponge to me as he reached for the shampoo. “I’m not saying forgive him or be best friends with him, but maybe give him a shot.”</p><p>I turned to face him, careful not to slip up. “Why?”</p><p>He was pensive before replying while he massaged the shampoo into his own dark hair. “Because he’s your dad. Deadbeat or not, he’s still blood.”</p><p>Cocking my head to the side as he rinsed and then stroked some fresh shampoo into my hair, I frowned. “Why does that matter?” </p><p>His blue eyes met mine as he gently washed my hair for me, running his fingers along my scalp in a way that felt really nice and sent tingles through me. “Because you’ve only ever heard your mother’s side of the story. Give him a shot. Like I said, you don’t have to forgive him; he walked out on you.” He indicated for me to step into the water stream so that he could rinse my hair too. </p><p>“Fine, I guess.”</p><p>As I sat on the edge of the bed afterwards in a thick white fluffy bathrobe and slippers on my feet courtesy of the hotel, I heard Geoff retrieving something out of the cupboard in the bathroom under the sink while I drank some water from a fancy cuboid-shaped bottle and finally found the thermostat remote that had fallen off of the bed. Turning the heat down to a far more comfortable range, I grinned as Geoff returned to me with a hairdryer, plugging it in by the side of the bed.</p><p>“Geoff?” I asked with a wry smile.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Are you planning to dry my hair for me?” </p><p>“Yeah, I was. Why?”</p><p>“Because after you washed me in the shower, it feels kind of like you’re grooming me like you would a dog,” I laughed, watching him start to chuckle too as he set the hairdryer to its lowest heat and knelt behind me on the bed.</p><p>He didn’t reply for a moment, using the hairbrush he’d grabbed to dry my hair more neatly with. I wondered if he’d picked this up from doing Millie’s hair. “I just like taking care of you. It isn’t just purely sexual, the pet thing.”</p><p>My chest fluttered with affection as I sat still for him, closing my eyes and appreciating his touch as the directed warm air slowly dried my light, short-ish hair. He really was the world’s biggest softie, deep down. </p><p>We finished the strawberries too before finally hitting the lights and collapsing down into bed, my leash removed but the choker still very much present upon my neck as I lay naked. With the lights in the room all out, there were no reflections on the huge windows now and I could see the millions of tiny lights that made up Los Angeles as it sprawled out beneath and around us spectacularly beyond the glass. </p><p>Geoff’s warm arms slipped around me from behind, embracing me as he shivered slightly, not really as interested in the view as I was.</p><p>“Should’ve asked for a room lower down,” he mumbled, squeezing me briefly. </p><p>“You stay in hotels all the time, do heights really bother you this much?” I asked quietly, remembering his fear back in Australia when we’d been at the top of Sydney’s Skytower, one-thousand-six-hundred feet up in the air. </p><p>“I’m okay <em>knowing</em> I’m high up, like when I’m on a plane,” he murmured, “but you’re not going to catch me pressing up against the window to see the ground below.”</p><p>“What if you were pressing <em>me</em> up against the window?” I asked, purposefully playful. </p><p>“That might be different…” Geoff grinned against my ear. “But not tonight. I’m too tired, sweetheart. And our plane is early tomorrow. Get some sleep.”</p><p>Smiling, I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off into an entirely peaceful, contented slumber.</p><p>Geoff's phone continued to ring through the night, its chime silenced and its screen face-down on the nightstand.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0067"><h2>67. Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You discover something you’re not sure you should have found in Ryan’s house. You and him then get wrapped up a little bit in playing a sexy game.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Explicit Sexual Content<br/></b><br/>- Light knife-play</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“What the fuck d’you mean you’re in hospital, idiot?” </p><p>Geoff’s phone had read several missed calls from Gavin throughout the night but only now had he been able to get a hold of him, several hours later after he was done confusedly concocting reasons in his head as to why the Brit would need so desperately to get him on the phone. </p><p>“He’s…what?” I asked, ruffling Rex’s ears as he scampered around by my feet for the chew toy I was tossing across the living room floor to entertain him. We’d only arrived back at Geoff’s twenty minutes ago and since he had called in a favour with a friend to dog-sit for the time we’d been away, Rex had been fed, walked and taken care of.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Geoff put Gavin on speakerphone and sat down beside me on the sofa, his irritable exterior mood covering up his inner concerned parent. </p><p>“…so I’m in for another night for observation. Mum’s with me but…not to get all soppy Geoff, because you’re a total arsehole most of the time but you’re the closest thing I have to a dad,” Gavin was saying. </p><p>“What did you do, Gav?” I asked immediately, flinging the chew toy again. Rex energetically lunged for it with his tongue out and tail in the air.</p><p>“Me? I didn’t do anything!” He retorted, laughing a bit. “Hi to you too, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re with Geoff. I passed out in the middle of the supermarket and got rushed to hospital. Apparently I have bad Anaemia.”</p><p>“Goddamn you’re a fuckin’ idiot,” Geoff shook his head. “An iron deficiency? I’ve seen you eat, you eat meat like it’s gonna get taken off you if you don’t eat it fast enough.”</p><p>I smiled a little. “Geoff cares really, he’s just being an ass.”</p><p>He raised his eyebrows at me from across the sofa as I shrugged. </p><p>“I love how you rush to see Ray when he’s taken in but when I’m in here all you do is call me names,” Gavin commented, not sounding particularly hurt because he was so used to Geoff’s antics. </p><p>With a wave of his arm that Gavin obviously couldn’t see to drive home his point, Geoff’s voice rose an octave in annoyance. “That’s because Ray got broken into and beaten up, idiot! I’m not flying out to England to see you in hospital because you <em>fainted</em>.”</p><p>“Yeah well I just wanted someone to talk to other than Mum,” Gavin replied and I noticed the fact that <em>now</em> he sounded as though he was pouting. “Sorry that you were the first person I thought of after my actual family, prick.”</p><p>There was a pregnant pause as Geoff seemed to absorb this, running a hand over his face tiredly. “Alright, what d’you wanna talk about? I’ll try not to be a dick for five minutes but that’s the most you’re getting.”</p><p>Millie was obviously at her mom’s, meaning the house was empty aside from us. The wooden living room floor was far from an ideal surface to play fetch on, since the combination of Rex’s soft paws and silky fur meant that he was constantly doing a lot of running and not actually moving as he skidded around. </p><p>“Yeah, get it! Good boy!” I grinned, watching him ‘kill’ the rubber toy before bringing it back to me with a bark. This halted the conversation beside me between the guys.</p><p>“When did you get a <em>dog</em>?” Gavin asked, sounding confused. “We have a dog now?”</p><p>Geoff smirked. “<em>Somebody</em> persuaded me to take in a stray because she felt sorry for him. I won’t mention any names, but she’s sitting on my sofa right now.”</p><p>“Nice,” the lad laughed, adding that he was looking forward to meeting the canine that had stolen mine and Millie’s hearts.</p><p>My flat was quiet that afternoon as I returned home, with Hanna staying over at Todd’s. I spent a fairly peaceful couple of hours gaming before remembering that if I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with both Geoff and Ryan, it would help if I actually told the latter man this rather than psychically expecting him to know.</p><p>He picked up his phone on the third ring, his voice strangely full of relief. </p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“Hey Ry,” I smiled. “How’s things?”</p><p>His voice slightly hushed, he replied. “My family are driving me crazy. Literally crazy. My mother, my step father, my grandparents, everybody.” </p><p>“Huh, so you’re having a pretty normal holiday then,” I giggled. </p><p>“There’s a reason why I don’t live with any of these people,” he sighed, laughing a little as I heard a door close in the background.</p><p>“I’ve stepped outside for a minute to talk to you. How was LA?” </p><p>“Exciting,” I answered truthfully without elaborating. </p><p>“Oh come on, you’ve got to give me more than that,” Ryan chuckled. “I’ve been going out of my mind with boredom here. Give me something to think about on the drive home at least.”</p><p>Given Geoff’s playful words a few days earlier that implied that I owed him big time for the Rex situation and was going to repay it in a sexual sense, he knew that the trip had been for more than just business.</p><p>“When do you get back?” I asked lightly, thinking of the last day of the year just a few days ahead.</p><p>“Tonight,” he replied. “Thankfully.”</p><p>“So…maybe I wait until tonight to tell you how exciting LA was rather than telling you now?” I said, a blush springing to my cheeks at my bravery in this statement when I knew he would label it as ‘defiance’. “Or maybe I won’t tell you at all.”</p><p>There was a small sigh down the phone. “So you’re going to play it this way, huh?”</p><p>Squirming where I was sitting because my heart had started beating way faster and his voice was getting that edge to it that always appeared when he decided he was in charge, I closed my eyes. “Mm-hm. Did Geoff already tell you what he planned while we were there? Did you know?”</p><p>“In the end, no. I think he thought it might be fun if I pried it out of you instead,” Ryan answered, his voice laced with dominance. “You don’t think you’re going to keep it a secret for long, do you?”</p><p>Something about the way he was phrasing things made me question what exactly was currently running through his mind as I played with a loose thread on the knee of my jeans. He knew I was playing and now, he was playing too. I had him hooked. Carefully, I thought about what I was going to say next. “I do, actually.”</p><p>His voice lowered a little, possibly so that he wouldn’t be overheard.</p><p>“I’ll be home around eleven, it’s a long drive. There’s a spare key around the back of my house, under the little green pottery turtle. And I promise you, I’ll make you talk.”</p><p>A tingle ran through me as I grinned stupidly down the phone. “I’m telling you nothing. Wait, you have a spare key in your yard?” I was temporarily distracted by this statement.</p><p>“Mhm,” Ryan replied. “Just in case of emergency. Like if you need to get into my house when I’m not there. It’ll save you searching through my bag and pockets to steal my house key again like the little bandit that you are.” His tone of voice told me he was definitely smirking now.</p><p>“I- you- wait, you know I looked through your bag?” Even though it had been for a good reason - that reason being to set up kinky Birthday sex - I still felt a little shame for being caught. He had caught me at the time trying to pilfer the key from the pocket of the jeans he had been wearing while I kissed him in the hopes of him not noticing my roaming hand, but he’d never let on that he’d known I’d gone through his bag the day before for the same reason.</p><p>“I put two and two together when you stole my key right out of my pockets in that restaurant,” he replied. “You didn’t put them back where you found them.”</p><p>“I put them back in your backpack,” I frowned. “That’s where they were.”</p><p>“Not in the section you found them in,” he said with a chuckle. “I keep my keys in the front bit with the smaller zipper and that is not where you put them after you were done breaking into my house.”</p><p>Well fuck - so much for my thinking I paid attention to detail.</p><p>“I didn’t <em>break in</em>, I unlocked the door,” I giggled. “Besides, you loved it.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you what else I’m going to love,” he said quietly, a hint of lust in his voice, “punishing you and also forcing you to talk. See you later, cutie.”</p><p>“Bye, Ry,” I grinned as we hung up. For a moment, I just pressed my phone to my chest in utter adoration of him.</p><p>***</p><p>The air chilled my cheeks and legs as I climbed out of the Uber that evening with my overnight bag on my shoulder and dressed in my short red skirt and polo-neck sweater. The lack of Ryan’s car in his drive alerted me to the fact that I’d definitely beaten him here, as I’d intended to. </p><p>The gravel crunched beneath my feet as I opened his side gate and walked straight through and around to the back of the house, confident in my stride as I noticed the green blob that hid the spare key right away on the wooden decking. </p><p>It was adorable, hand-made and only slightly resembled an actual turtle. It had probably been a preschool art project that Eli had done with help because its silly little two dot eyes and smile made me nearly keel over laughing. I lifted it carefully, retrieved the key and let myself in through the back door, locking it again behind me and switching on the light.</p><p>Being in someone else’s house when they weren’t was always an incredibly weird feeling, even when it was someone you were dating and knew pretty well. The living room was tidy, the lid of the toy box belonging to his kids in the corner a little ajar because it was crammed full. His coffee table was covered in science-fiction and thriller books, along with some computer-science related glossy magazines. His Xbox stood in the TV stand beneath the television itself, its controllers either side of it and with a couple of games stacked to the side of it. The rest of his games were neatly organised along with his books on his bookshelf, some of the paperback spines more worn than others. </p><p>I was curious, it had to be said. Surely he wouldn’t mind? The truth was that I wasn’t about to start rooting through his things in drawers; I just wanted to look. And as I scanned around, I noticed things I hadn’t noticed before despite the amount of time I’d spent here. </p><p>I opened the fridge for a drink and couldn’t help laughing at the sheer amount of diet Cokes in there. That was mostly my fault; I’d given him so many for his Birthday that he’d had to put them s<em>omewhere</em>, yet this wasn’t even half of them and upon opening a lower cupboard, I saw the rest - at least thirty or so cans that filled the entire space. If Ryan ever died of aspartame poisoning, I was definitely going down for murder.</p><p>Instead, I grabbed a cold bottle of water and sipped from it as I eyed the crude crayon art stuck on the fridge door that hadn’t been present last time I’d been here - more of Eli’s handiwork, no doubt. Next to it was a shopping list - ‘milk, bread, cheese, cookies, juice, cereal, bleach, tape, solder, decking screws’. Below that was a picture of several dogs and a cat, along with a photo of Eli and Olivia playing.</p><p>His bathroom mirror was faintly marked with a heart where someone had drawn on it when it’d been steamed up from the shower in the past. There was an extra bath towel hanging on the back of the door now for me, whereas before I’d always had to find one in his linen closet. The wood of the closet door in his bedroom was more worn on one side than the other where he always opened it the same way with his dominant hand. The surface of the nightstand on the side of the double bed that had previously belonged to his ex-wife was covered with a very thin layer of dust. </p><p>The top of the dresser was laden with a couple of aftershaves and a deodorant spray or two but there was also something else - a small china figure of some sort of Terrier dog. I picked it up to observe it more closely; it fit in the palm of my hand with a little weight but on the bottom it was marked ‘L &amp; R, UK’. Was it a vacation souvenir for Ryan and Laurie from years ago? I placed it back down gently, wondering why it was still here.</p><p>Eli &amp; Olivia’s room was clearly marked with cute, colourful animal-themed name plates on the door, but down the hall was another room that I’d never been in. The door to the right of it was his office where he streamed - that I could tell because the door was ajar - but what was in this other mystery room? Horribly aware of how nosy I was being now, I pushed open the door to see a mostly empty space with a few boxes stacked in the corner. I didn’t switch on the light, allowing the hallway light to flood the room instead.</p><p>The top box contained a few baby toys along with some books and clothing. The one underneath, I could only see a tiny bit of the way into without moving the top box, something I didn’t want to do because I had no idea how heavy it was. It seemed to contain even more baby clothing, something which mystified me; why would he keep his kids’ clothes in boxes in a spare room rather than the little wooden dresser in their actual room? Did they really have that much of an excess of clothing? </p><p>I pulled gently on one of the garments; a blue baby grow with a name embroidered across the front; ‘Isaac’. It was cute but felt old, as though it had been washed multiple times and had clearly been worn a lot. Who on earth was Isaac? Maybe a nephew? I knew that Ryan had a couple of stepbrothers - maybe they had kids. </p><p>The front door slammed and I dropped the child’s clothing like it had burned me, patting it hurriedly back into the box and leaving the room sharpish, making sure to close the door properly behind me like I’d found it. Curiosity was still biting at me but ultimately I didn’t want Ryan to know I’d been snooping as I heard him in the kitchen downstairs from my position at the top of the stairs.</p><p>With a smile I padded down to see him, watching as he took a swig from - big shock - a diet Coke. “Hey. I found the spare key.”</p><p>“Clearly,” he smirked, tapping the can down and shrugging off his dark jacket before draping it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. “How many times now have you been in my house when I’ve not been here?”</p><p>“Uh…” I counted. “Three.”</p><p>With a small shake of his head, he approached me, his eyes briefly flitting down to my short skirt. “Steal anything else lately?” he asked, his voice full of teasing.</p><p>“Not that I’d tell you,” I grinned, despite having stolen precisely nothing. </p><p>“Y’know in those cop shows, where they tell the criminal that they can either do things the easy way or the hard way?” Ryan said, raising an eyebrow and folding his arms pointedly. “Why don’t you tell me what happened in LA now?”</p><p>I resisted making the obvious bad pun from his words about me being easy and him being hard, biting my lip and stifling a giggle instead. </p><p>“What’s funny?” </p><p>“Nothing, you can’t make me talk!” I replied, swiftly turning to head out into the hall and back up the stairs as he followed without hesitating.</p><p>“Okay, so the hard way, got it,” he chuckled from behind as he caught up to me and made to grab my waist. I squeaked but he easily wrapped his arms around my middle, lifting me clear off the floor and carrying me into his bedroom while I playfully fought. He dropped me onto the centre of his bed before straddling me as his lips met mine fiercely while he trapped me beneath him. </p><p>All of my fight, even if entirely fake, dropped at this as I melted into his kiss and realised how much I’d missed him. I felt him smile against my mouth at my compliance as he pulled away a little, his gorgeous blue eyes staring into my own.</p><p>“Tell me what happened,” he murmured. </p><p>“No,” I grinned, expecting that he was going to get rough. Instead however, he stroked a finger up under my chin lightly and kissed my lips again. My hand found its way into his soft hair as I quietly moaned.</p><p>“Tell me what you and Geoff did,” he commanded quietly, pulling back again after a few moments. “Be a good girl.”</p><p>Oh I was pushing it and I was loving it as much as he was, I suspected. My stubborn silence gave my answer as I gazed at him innocently. </p><p>His lips curled into a smirk. “Last chance before I start hurting you.”</p><p>Knowing exactly what I was letting myself in for, I felt a thrill zap through me and straight to my crotch as I shook my head slowly to show that I <em>definitely</em> wasn’t going to talk now. With an expression of dark mirth, he bit his lower lip for a second before sitting up and pulling at my top to get it off me. I obliged despite the role-play, watching as he yanked open the drawer to his nightstand and pulled out the lengths of black silky rope I was so familiar with by now.</p><p>With determination, he unhooked and discarded my bra while I squirmed a little before tying my wrists firmly to the headboard with no wiggle room whatsoever before moving to stroke his fingers through my hair. When he gripped it tight, I groaned a little.</p><p>“Keep the fuck still, or I get out the knife,” he threatened gently. </p><p>And although I wanted that, I played along and fell limp, allowing him to slide his hands up my skirt and tug down my panties followed by the skirt itself.</p><p>In the wake of his latest words, his eyes were devilish as I yearned for him to kiss me again, to straddle me again. “Ryan?”</p><p>“Mhm?”</p><p>“What if I want you to get out the knife?” </p><p>Unfazed, he pulled out more rope and proceeded to fasten my ankles to either bedpost, leaving my legs spread. Now entirely naked, I watched as he did exactly that, flipping open the blade.</p><p>“How about we turn this around since you’re such a twisted little slut for me,” he said seductively. “You want me to hurt you, right? Unless you talk, I won’t.”</p><p>This was new. Unprepared, I gasped a little because that was just plain unfair. “Wait, but…but…”</p><p>“Look who’s considering caving in now?” Ryan murmured, resting the blade ever so lightly on my midriff and holding it there as I lay entirely still.</p><p>Lust overrode my stubbornness immediately, much to my shame.</p><p>“He took me swimming. It was a really posh hotel, only certain members were allowed entry into this private pool, but there were a couple of men swimming. And the lifeguard was there too.” Man, my resolve had melted away fast.</p><p>With interest, Ryan listened as he toyed with the blade, running it so very lightly along my skin as I spoke. “Don’t tell me you two fucked in the toilets?”</p><p>“No,” I grinned, my eyes fixed on his as he stroked my upper thigh with his free hand. “He…well he…started touching me up in the pool. From behind.”</p><p>Ryan’s eyebrow quirked. “In front of people?” But he pressed a little harder with the sharp blade on my torso as he ran it slowly along. We’d only done this once before but already the slight stinging was sending both pain and pleasure signals through me simultaneously. </p><p>“Yeah…and then he…took off my bikini top in front of them,” I said. </p><p>“He- what? Did you smack him?” Ryan laughed, seeming to forget briefly that he was trying to sexually torment me. </p><p>“At first I was shocked,” I admitted. “But then…he was still rubbing me and…his hand was in my bikini bottoms and on my boobs and…”</p><p>“You filthy, filthy girl,” Ryan smirked as he returned to running the blade across my abdomen. “What did those other men do?”</p><p>“Stare, mostly,” I said right before whimpering a little because he was pressing harder now and it was <em>good</em>. “Especially the lifeguard and especially when I moaned.”</p><p>“Mhm, I’ll bet,” he replied, admiring the trails of pink lines he was creating upon my skin as his other hand stroked gently at the wetness between my legs.</p><p>“He made me come in front of them,” I blushed, hardly daring to meet his eyes. “And it was fucking amazing.”</p><p>Pausing, Ryan looked up again at me but no words left his mouth this time. Instead, he abruptly straddled me and kissed me heatedly again, dropping the blade back onto the nightstand with a clatter. I groaned into it and wanted to arch up against him but couldn’t because of my bounds. Still, he seemed to sense this as he rapidly undressed and returned to kissing me as he dug the fingernails of one hand into my side and scratched them gradually down, eliciting another moan from me as he moved his lips to my neck.</p><p>I felt him ease into my sopping wet pussy as he littered my neck and jaw with kisses and we both revelled in the fact that I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. His thrusts were slow but deep, hitting hard as I closed my eyes in bliss because I needed it so badly. </p><p>“I should also tell you that Geoff <em>did</em> leash me while we were in the hotel and out on the street,” I murmured in his ear as he groaned in response. “And I liked that too.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Ryan muttered, obviously even more aroused by this statement. “He led you around like a pet?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I gasped, feeling him speed up a little because of what I was saying. “And in the hotel room, he ordered room service and the server woman that brought it up saw me in that lacy red underwear I have and with my choker and leash on.”</p><p>“<em>Fuck,</em>” he repeated in more of a growl this time. “You sexy little exhibitionist. I bet you’d love it if people walked in on us right fucking now.”</p><p>I whimpered because he was pounding me hard and his words were having an effect on me too. “Yeah…probably…” </p><p>Wrapped up in that fantasy, I imagined this scenario and once again, my arousal totally overrode any shame I might have had about being seen in this vulnerable position. And with how I was tied down spread-eagle and with how he was fucking me, my clit was getting just enough attention from his body as he leaned over me. </p><p>“Ryan, I- I’m- going to-“ I whimpered desperately, lost in the moment.</p><p>“You’d better not, not yet,” he replied firmly, knowing exactly what it was that I was trying to say as he dug his nails into my side to scratch me again.</p><p>I moaned loudly as he watched. “Please…” The pleasure was mounting and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold off.</p><p>“No.” His hand slid up to my throat now, pressing down and cutting off my breathing almost entirely. I let out a small choked noise as I struggled for air, but this only served to push me closer to orgasm.</p><p>And all at once it hit me like a train, surging through my convulsing body as I found myself completely unable to breathe at all now, my throat aching from the pressure on it as my body involuntarily struggled against the ropes. I was aware of Ryan coming too, his soft groans lustful and satisfied as he enjoyed how much I’d suddenly tightened up on him while he fucked me through it. </p><p>The pressure lifted as he released my throat and I gasped for air, taking huge gulping breaths as my lungs fought to make up for the brief deficit. I was in a sort of blissful trance, my mind numb and my skin hot as I lay limply now, completely done. </p><p>“I didn’t give you permission for that.” Ryan brought me back to reality as he smiled at me, stroking a hand across my cheek and kissing my lips with tenderness before climbing off of me. “But any excuse to punish you.”</p><p>Still breathing heavily, I grinned as he reached for something else in his drawer - the leather paddle that Geoff had used on me before. </p><p>Oh I was in trouble now.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0068"><h2>68. Threat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You get the spanking you deserve and Ryan is a sweetheart afterwards in his own way, but something interrupts your evening unexpectedly.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this is so incredibly late. I’ve been super distracted recently with writer's block and I wanted to make sure the chapter was actually half-decent before posting it, even if that meant it took longer.<br/></p><p>
<b>Explicit Sexual Content</b></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Turning the long leather paddle over in his hand a few times, Ryan’s playful eyes bored into my own. It was incredibly ironic that for the first time I felt apprehensive as well as excited because although the knife was a sharper, more dangerous kind of pain, it was one I could handle. The paddle on the other hand, with the way that the stinging heat built up over time from repeated use, was actually worse on a pain scale for me.</p><p>Still, as he freed me from my bounds and allowed me a moment to flex my arm and leg muscles slowly, I watched as he moved backwards from the bed a little and indicated for me to shuffle to the edge of it on all fours. Gently, he stroked his hand over my vulnerable behind.</p><p>“You have a nice ass, have I ever told you that?” Ryan grinned. </p><p>With a small giggle I shook my head, twisting to look at him.</p><p>“Not directly, I don’t think. You stare at it enough.” Because I’d turned my head, I saw him raise the paddle and land the first swing with a sharp <em>slap</em> of leather against skin.</p><p>I gasped as more followed and I looked away, biting my lower lip with a slight smile as I felt the delicious burning sensation increase the longer he went on spanking me. After a dozen or so, I begun to groan quietly at each hard smack. His swing was pretty consistent in how hard it hit and he’d picked a pace to stick with throughout, giving me only mere seconds between smacks that rapidly became not quite enough time to recover.</p><p>“Dip your back, you’re drawing away from me,” he commented, waiting for me to obey before continuing, the soreness on my ass intensifying slowly. </p><p>A few swats later and I was gasping with every swing, clenching my eyes shut as I dealt with the pain. I decided to try to cutely appeal to him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Ryan,” I whimpered, turning my head to look at him and noticing his tiny pause at my words as he cocked an eyebrow.</p><p>Landing another smack, he chuckled as he smugly admired my probably very red ass cheeks. “Good. And what are you sorry for?” His words tormented me.</p><p>“For coming without permission,” I whined as he did it again. I sucked in breath sharply, once again feeling my arousal heighten. </p><p>“Mhm,” he replied, not stopping. “Maybe this’ll teach you to be a good girl.”</p><p>The next few were equally as hard as the last but I breathed evenly through it, the stinging pain only fleeting and then leaving a hot, burning sensation as I squirmed slightly because despite it smarting like hell, I wanted him again.</p><p>“Ryan,” I groaned, “I’ll behave, I promise!”</p><p>As he so loved to do sometimes, his voice changed to soft taunting. “Aw, does it hurt? D’you want me to stop?” </p><p>And because I was a masochist, I didn’t use the safe word to actually stop him but instead used the word ‘yes’ in the knowledge that he would carry on. And with a smirk, he did, ignoring my false plea.</p><p>“Such a whore for pain,” he tutted, stroking a hand down my thigh. “Don’t worry, I’ll soothe it better after.” </p><p>A dozen or so more swats to the ass and I really felt like I was totally unable to take any more.</p><p>“Oh god. Ryan. Please,” I whimpered between three separate smacks before he finally hesitated, breaking the rhythm. I heard him place down the paddle quietly before his hands went gently to my raw ass cheeks, kneading and stroking. In comparison to my heated skin, his palms were cool and relieving as I relaxed.</p><p>“Alright, I’m done,” he murmured, watching me shift into a sitting position. His expression was mostly impassive but there was a tiny hint of concern in his eyes because he had clearly heard the slight change in my voice.</p><p>Reassured that he was finished, I shuffled slightly uncomfortably with a smile while he crossed the room to visit the bathroom before bed. Even though it had hurt a lot mere seconds beforehand, that pain had quickly faded and now all I was was aroused. “I really will wait for permission in future, Ry…” </p><p>He grinned at me from the doorway, still as naked as I was. “You’d better.”</p><p>Sighing softly and contentedly in only my own company for a minute, I stared at the cream curtains hanging either side of the bedroom window, contemplating my feelings in an oddly critical way. Sure, I obviously enjoyed pain up to a point but there was something strangely fitting that I wanted Ryan to hurt me like we loved when I was feeling so guilty about my feelings for Meg, almost as though deep down I thought I deserved to be punished for them by him in particular. This also spawned from my knowledge of how jealous he could be.</p><p>On the surface I knew this was silly and it was probably simply just me enjoying the kinky play that Ryan and I always inevitably fell into, but even when he re-entered the room to free up the bathroom, the thought lingered on my mind. </p><p>I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror whilst brushing my teeth, wondering how I truly felt. Maybe part of my lust for Meg was that she was so different from anything I’d ever had before in so many ways, the most obvious of which being that she was a woman. My mind wandered to women in pop culture and the film industry as I tried to picture myself with anyone else I deemed objectively attractive, but for some reason the pieces didn’t fit - every scenario made me feel incredibly awkward as I imagined anything sexual with them. </p><p>But then I thought of Meg, with her strawberry lip gloss, smooth skin, perfectly-sized breasts and her teasing smile and I found my eyes closing with undeniable desire. There was no doubt about it; the fact that she was so feminine was alluring to me. </p><p>Returning to the bedroom, I attempted to expel her from my mind as I shut off the light and slid into bed beside Ryan, his warm arms immediately embracing me from behind as he stroked a hand down to my ass gently.</p><p>“You okay? You were in there a while,” he murmured, his breath tickling my neck by my earlobe. “I didn’t push you too far, right?”</p><p>“No,” I replied honestly. “I’m good.”</p><p>I felt him smile against my skin, obviously reassured as he changed the subject. “Good. So…you’re Geoff’s pet now, huh?”</p><p>I stifled a laugh. “I guess. He did say something interesting about that, though. He told me it’s not entirely sexual…he likes to take care of me. Part of it is an affection thing.” My heart flitted around elatedly in my chest as I remembered how he had washed my hair for me in the shower followed by drying it too while I sat still. </p><p>Ryan was still stroking my only-slightly sore ass but as I felt him softly kiss my neck a few times, he took a moment before responding. “I guess I get that.”</p><p>Closing my eyes contentedly, I smiled. “Would it be the same thing with you?” </p><p>With a low chuckle in my ear as he playfully nipped my earlobe, he replied with a cocky smirk. “No, it'd be <em>all</em> sexual with me. I’d lead you around like a puppy and fuck you like a bitch. And you’d love it.”</p><p>I giggled, squirming to roll over and face him so that I could challenge him but heat was rising within me sharply at his dirty words. There was no way I could even deny it because he knew me too well. “Why does that not shock me?”</p><p>He ran a hand back through my hair gently. “If I leashed you like Geoff did and started referring to you as my pet, I’d be afraid of you just feeling like I was using you purely for my own sexual gratification. I wouldn’t be able to hold back at all.”</p><p>Gazing into his eyes in the light of the streetlamp shining in through the window because we’d forgotten to close the curtains, I smiled a little. “Yeah, because you’re <em>such</em> a softie normally in bed.” It was a fittingly sarcastic joke, but I knew he did have a tender side.</p><p>Chuckling again, he shook his head. “Comparatively, I am. Trust me, I try not to get too carried away with you pretty regularly.”</p><p>Considering this, I ran my palm up his side adoringly. “Really?” He never seemed like he held back, but maybe he was referring to his measured care when it came to hurting me, which I appreciated. </p><p>There was a moment where he simply looked into my eyes before he leaned to kiss me softly. “Mhm. Although I still wonder where your pain limit is.” His hand was now resting on my hip as we lay so close our noses were almost touching. </p><p>“I nearly hit my limit with that paddle just now,” I admitted quietly. “Even though it turned me on like hell.”</p><p>“Yeah, your tone of voice made me stop that second time that you begged,” he replied. “You held out for a while though, I thought you’d stop me sooner.”</p><p>Submissively, I dropped my gaze from his. “I wanted to last as long as I could because I know it gets you hot. And that makes <em>me</em> hot.”</p><p>Ryan sighed, rolling over a bit to lay on his back. “You’re so fucking perfect.”</p><p>Blushing a little at the compliment, I stroked a hand down his bare chest before stopping it at his belly button and trailing it back up to his collarbone again. “Wanna spend New Year’s Eve with me? There’s a firework thing happening downtown for it and I want to go with you and Geoff.”</p><p>Smiling at me curiously, Ryan shrugged. “Sure. But how is it that fireworks don’t bother you when thunder does? I thought it was the loud, unexpected noise?”</p><p>I shook my head. “It’s different - <em>people</em> control fireworks and they’re much less…big. Yeah they’re loud but thunder and lightning is…well, Mother Nature being mad all over the sky. Plus sometimes it strikes things and sets them on fire and that’s terrifying to me.”</p><p>“‘Mother Nature being mad all over the sky’?” he repeated with teasing in his voice.</p><p>“Yeah, well it’s true,” I defended, although I could probably have described it better. “It’s out of any human’s control. Like tornados and earthquakes.”</p><p>My phone buzzed in the small overnight bag I’d slung over the chair in the corner of the room and had it not been so quiet, I probably wouldn’t have heard it. Reluctantly, I retrieved it before returning quickly into the warm bed. The screen dimmed mercifully for the benefit of my eyes as I scanned my messages. It was late - around midnight - but I had texts from a bunch of people regardless. </p><p>The first was from Gavin, who was apparently at home now with his mother but that he was going to be back in the US in time for New Year’s Eve because he was attending some fancy restaurant with Meg for the occasion. The second message was from Geoff, who had sent me a cute snap of Rex sleeping beside him on the sofa with the caption, ‘I’ve missed having pets in the house’. The third text was from Hanna, because I’d let her know I was staying the night out of the flat. Whilst replying to each of them in turn, I became aware that Ryan had begun to caress my hair as I lay there carefully trying not to drop my phone on my face. </p><p>I hadn’t realised he’d been paying any attention to my phone screen until I switched to my browser and went to close the Wiki page I’d been looking at previously, involving bondage X-crosses. After my dream involving it I’d been curious to properly see one.</p><p>“What was that?” he laughed a little, his petting of my hair pausing. “That page you were just on?”</p><p>“It definitely wasn’t me researching different types of bondage equipment,” I replied with a grin, reaching across him to place my phone down on the nightstand now that I was done with it.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” he asked lightly, his hands gripping my sides and waiting until I’d let go of my cell to pull me back down with sudden playful force and rapidly straddling me while I gazed innocently up at him. “What have I told you about lying to me?” He looked amused.</p><p>Giggling because I couldn’t help it, I shook my head. “Okay, so I was intrigued…bite me.”</p><p>“Don’t tempt me.”</p><p>Leaning down, Ryan’s lips met mine as I melted into the kiss. Words couldn’t pinpoint why with enough detail or justice - he was just intoxicating to me; his scent, his warmth, his touch…I could so easily lose myself in him that it was borderline alarming sometimes.</p><p>“That’s a pretty extreme thing to be intrigued about though,” he replied, moving his mouth down to my collarbone in order to pepper it with kisses. “Have you been watching kinky porn?”</p><p>“No.” I bit my lip, watching him as goosebumps rose on my skin. “I don’t often watch porn anyway but…I had a dream about being tied to one and, well…yeah. They’re probably super expensive, Geoff joked about getting one when I told him.”</p><p>“Hm…” Ryan kissed slowly and lightly down to my midriff. “I could probably just make one.”</p><p>“What?” I raised my eyebrows as I clutched lightly at the bedsheets either side of me because he was now running his fingers along the inside of my thigh and it tickled. </p><p>“Yeah, I’d just need some wood but I could get a hold of that easy. And bolts and nails,” he said thoughtfully, clearly taking this seriously. “And a way to stabilise it to make sure it’s weight-bearing.”</p><p>I gawped because he wasn’t kidding. “Uh…okay…where the hell would you keep it?” I asked pointedly. “I swear, if we didn’t live in Texas you’d have a basement and it would be a sex dungeon.” </p><p>Pretty much no houses had basements here because of how hard the ground was along with the consistency of it. It was just too arid and rocky in this part of the country to reasonably have homes built with underground space like that.</p><p>“You raise a good point,” he murmured with a laugh. “I have no idea where I’d keep it. And I don’t have nearly enough stuff to have a sex dungeon.”</p><p>I sniggered at his tone of bemusement before gasping as he dug the fingernails of one hand into my thighs a little, but then he lowered his mouth down to my clit to probe with his tongue. A deep moan issued from me then, my audible gratitude uncontrollable as he continued to work his tongue and mouth on me gently until I was panting with strained ecstasy while I struggled to keep still. </p><p>A sudden bang rang out from somewhere downstairs, like someone had knocked something over. It caused us both to freeze entirely but before I knew what was happening, Ryan had clambered off of the bed and was pulling on his jeans and a t-shirt.</p><p>“What was that?” I whispered, my pleasure fading only to be replaced by worry. Ryan flicked the light on in the next moment, nearly blinding me as I shielded my eyes and observed him opening his closet door and bending down to fiddle with something. There was a small click and the squeaky whine of what sounded like a small metal door opening. </p><p>“Stay here,” he instructed, leaving the room.</p><p><em>Stay here</em> - was he kidding? If he was thinking there might be an intruder in the house, I was not going to let him deal with that alone. Hurriedly, I jumped out of bed and pulled on my polo-neck sweater, panties and skirt before tip-toeing to the top of the stairs out on the landing. Leaning to listen, I spotted Ryan investigating downstairs room by room by pushing open the doors and waiting before stepping through. In his right hand glinted the metal of a small handgun. </p><p>He was in the living room as I descended the stairs quietly, barefoot and taking care to avoid the creaky fourth step from the bottom, something which I’d become accustomed to almost automatically now. Ryan’s low voice from the next room made me jump as I stood stock-still once again, the fear that had been clawing at me for the last several seconds now gripping at me tightly. </p><p>“Get your fucking hands up where I can see them.”</p><p>“Whoa man, I don’t want any trouble, I just-“ </p><p>“Hands. Up. Now,” Ryan repeated, raising the gun right before I entered the room to stand behind him.</p><p>“Okay, I’m doing it, I’m doing it, man. Chill out.” The intruder was lanky, wearing a black hoodie that was too big for him and a pair of jeans that were so filthy it looked like they had been his only pair for maybe decades. What little teeth he had were rotting and his short dark hair looked greasy. To see a man like this standing in Ryan’s clean family home was jarring.</p><p>With the gun trained on the thief, Ryan reached into his own jeans’ pocket for his phone as he became aware of me standing a little way behind him and to his left by the door.</p><p>“I told you to wait upstairs,” he frowned at me before his eyes flicked back to the criminal.</p><p>I backed up slightly but didn’t leave the room, watching as Ryan told the man to get down on his knees before calling the cops on his cell and giving them plenty of detail. “I’m not leaving you alone with this creep.”</p><p>“Man I didn’t want any fucking trouble, I told them guys, I said it,” he was rambling as he did so, still with his hands above his head. <em>“Man!” </em></p><p>“Shut up,” Ryan growled, sliding his phone back away. “We’re gonna stay right here until the police come and then you can explain to them what the fuck you were thinking breaking into my house. Lower your hands and I shoot. Am I making myself clear?”</p><p>“Yeah man, crystal,” the guy muttered, his eyes fixed on me now. “You - what are you staring at?”</p><p>Before I could reply, Ryan took a step towards him. “Talk to her again and I’ll break your face and <em>then</em> shoot you.” His voice was dangerous but his face was scarily expressionless.</p><p>The fear that had gripped me initially was being replaced by something else, something I couldn’t quite place as I gazed at my boyfriend holding a weapon and making threats while he defended his home. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I should still be turned on but then he had been eating me out right before we’d come down to confront this criminal.</p><p>“Yo man I ain’t gonna come back here,” the guy pleaded pathetically. “Let me go, the cops catch me again and I’m going down, man. I wasn’t gonna take much.”</p><p>“Just as much as you could carry, right?” Ryan glared. “Do me a favour and fucking shut up.”</p><p>I perched on the edge of the sofa, not wanting to leave the room but not particularly wanting to stay in there either. My heart thumped in my chest as I eyed the thief, hoping he didn’t have any hidden weapons because although he seemed to be compliant right now, it may not stay that way.</p><p>“Why were you going to steal?” I asked, causing his dark eyes to flit back to me. “What was the money for?”</p><p>He didn’t reply to my question as he eyed the grey handgun still aimed at him.</p><p>“Hey, don’t ignore me,” I frowned as Ryan raised an exasperated eyebrow at me.</p><p>“I talk to you and your boyfriend’s gonna beat on me,” the crook replied, shaking his head. </p><p>“What’s the money for?” Ryan repeated my question, because he could see me wanting the answer in my naive curiosity.</p><p>I wasn’t stupid. I knew this guy was probably stealing to flog stuff for drugs or something, but this was a nice neighbourhood. Surely there was more to it than that, it seemed like a ridiculous risk.</p><p>“Crack,” the crook muttered, shrugging, though his hands were still firmly in the air. “You got a nice house here, man. Gotta figure there’s expensive shit here.” He shuffled on his knees a little which made me instantly nervous. </p><p>A floorboard overhead creaked briefly, suddenly alerting us both to the fact that this guy wasn’t alone in his operation. It would certainly explain why he had been so compliant, besides the weapon of course. </p><p>“Goddammit,” Ryan muttered, clearly torn. To my surprise, he handed me the gun. “If he so much as moves, pull the trigger.”</p><p>It was cocked, cold and heavier than I’d imagined. I’d never held a gun like this before - hell, the only one I’d ever held had been a rifle at an outdoor shooting range. The image of Ian and I competing to see who could hit closest to the bullseye years ago flashed through my brain. I focused on keeping my hands still.</p><p>Ryan inched over to the other door that led into the kitchen, addressing the crook as he did so. “Don’t fucking move.”</p><p>With a shrug the thief remained where he was, now grinning a little in a very irritating kind of way that was making me want to punch him. People that stole from others in real life really aggravated me; how entitled and morally corrupt did you have to be to think you deserved to gain from something that didn’t belong to you? So I glared at him even though my anxiety was trying to fight me from the inside, my hands steady as I heard Ryan retrieve something from a drawer and return swiftly. He was obviously uncomfortable with leaving me alone with this guy despite the fact it had been less than thirty seconds and he had only been mere metres away through an open doorway.</p><p>He spent a surprisingly short amount of time zip-tying the guy’s wrists and arms behind his back followed by his knees and ankles, something that was nigh-on impossible to break free of with sheer strength alone. He pulled them as tightly as they’d go much to the complaints of the thief before he beckoned me to follow him through into the hall and upstairs. </p><p>“I thought you would want me to stay downstairs out of harm’s way,” I whispered as we quietly ascended the steps and he reached to take the handgun back from me, to my relief.</p><p>“That was before I realised I don’t know how many people are in my house right now,” Ryan replied. “Stay behind me.”</p><p>His demeanour was perfectly calm and collected, which baffled me somewhat. I had never seen him panic before but though he was clearly being careful while we went from room to room upstairs with me in tow, he was holding it together far more than I would be alone in this situation. </p><p>Caught red-handed, the second thief stared down the end of Ryan’s gun as he pushed open the door to his spare room and pointed it directly at him. This man was just as scrawny as the first, his jacket’s hood obscuring most of his face as he froze, his hands deep in the cardboard boxes that were piled up. His duffel bag was bulging by his feet; obviously he had stopped by the office room too.</p><p>“Get your fucking hands out of those <em>fucking</em> boxes.” For the first time, Ryan rose his voice sharply. “There’s nothing for you in there!” They were the same boxes that I had found the baby toys and clothes in earlier that evening.</p><p>Faced with the armed homeowner now, the criminal very quickly put up his hands and backed away as my ears pricked up to distant police sirens.</p><p>“You’re lucky I don’t just shoot you right now,” Ryan told him, still speaking more loudly than usual. “I could, y’know. Texas law certainly allows me to. Have you ever been shot in the leg before?”</p><p>Okay, so he was angry and that was understandable. But dammit, he needed to calm down again before he did something regrettable. </p><p>“Ry…” I said softly. “Don’t shoot him.”</p><p>“What?” he snapped back, causing me to wince. </p><p>“Don’t shoot him,” I repeated, because even though he was right about the law being on his side, I wasn’t sure I could handle a gun being fired.</p><p>“He fucking deserves it,” Ryan said coldly, lowering the gun so that it was aiming roughly at the crook’s knee. Anxiety chewed at my insides. “Floor in here’s wooden, it’d be easy to clean up the blood.”</p><p>Blood. The amount that I had bled when I had been shot came rushing back to me with startling clarity as it pooled on the floor of Geoff’s bedroom around my limp body while he held me and sobbed. The ringing in my ears after it had been fired followed by the confusion in my mind because I hadn’t been aware right away that the bullet had hit <em>me</em>.</p><p>“Please don’t,” I pleaded quietly. “I can’t…I…”</p><p>Ryan turned his head to look at me then, his confusion fading into understanding as he seemed to realise what my issue was. He nodded slowly, distracted by my plight. </p><p>The criminal saw his opportunity and lunged for the gun.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0069"><h2>69. Denial</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late-2014. You realise you’re more damaged than you thought after being shot months ago.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Damn, I’m so sorry for most of this chapter. I was feeling particularly angsty.</p><p>
<b>Detailed Depiction of Blood &amp; Death<b></b></b></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>When I was younger I’d wanted to be in the police force. It had been my dream up until I’d turned about eleven years old, but right up to then I dreamt of being the ‘good guy’, someone that kids and adults alike looked up to and respected on the streets. I would rope Hanna into playing a game with me where I would catch her 'committing crimes' in the house and we would play arrest and interrogate, like on television. </p><p>I would question her and she would pretend to hide something she had stolen while I attempted to pry out of her where she had hidden it. Being older than me, she would always throw in a twist too like how she had once sneaked a weapon into the interrogation (which was taking place in the dining room with us facing one another across the table) and had ‘nearly got me with it’. We had spent the next half an hour having an epic play fight of wrestling for the imaginary gun and tearing around the police station (our house) trying to ‘defeat’ each other, using walls, doors and furniture as cover. </p><p>Very regularly, stuffed toys and action figures would feature as hostages and never were any of them harmed, because the ‘good guys’ always won which meant that I always won, as the cop. In our make-believe games, the criminals never escaped, never harmed innocent people and never prospered. </p><p>When I learned better about what police officers actually went through on a daily basis and the dangers they faced as part of the job as I got older, I - as a meek, easily-intimidated young girl - was put right off of it. Seeing some of the worst of humanity, the immense responsibility of handling a weapon daily and being on the frontline was not something I wanted as a career any more once I became aware of the reality of it. I remember my mother talking to me about it casually over dinner one evening and the way she had shrugged and told me I can do anything I want: I had options. </p><p>When Rooster Teeth had contacted me during my college years studying media, I had jumped at the chance. Youtube had been my playground for gaming and acting out skits with the help of some of my roommates and working for an internet entertainment company was such an exciting prospect that I couldn't possibly deny myself the opportunity. It had been the best decision I’d ever made.</p><p>I had to wonder if fate had a really cruel sense of humour because after all of my growing up, meeting new people, leaving people behind and crafting my own life and future career, I had wound up on the floor in the house of my boyfriend, shaking and wet with red. It was hard to believe that everything had led up to this, because this definitely wasn’t a game.</p><p>Blood has a certain smell to it when there’s a lot of it, meaty and metallic. It’s also far more sticky than you think it would be when you see it flowing from a wound because initially it flows quickly. But pretty soon it’s settling everywhere and staining your clothes as it clots, your hands feeling tight from the coating of drying blood on them when you clench your fists. Vaguely, the thought crossed my mind that when the cops showed up, I might be blamed for this.</p><p>It was pooling outwards on the floor, seeping from the body laying motionless before me as I stared, my chest constricting painfully but my mind foggy with what probably should have been stricken grief. I thought of Hanna and the way that sometimes, we had played dead as part of our cops and criminals game. </p><p>The crook had lunged for the gun in Ryan’s hands minutes before. They had scuffled for moments. The gun had fired off in the interim while both men gripped and clawed at it and I had fallen, watching the two of them continue to fight over possession of the weapon, twisting and attempting to throw punches at the same time. Both of them had been trying to point the gun at the other during all of this, their rough exchange not involving me at all as I slumped to the wooden floor. </p><p>Trembling almost violently now, I stared at the man I loved so much. The criminal was long gone, probably with his buddy crook we had zip-tied downstairs. All that remained was me and Ryan in the deadly-quiet spare room because the criminals had escaped, they had harmed an innocent person and they had prospered. </p><p>My head pounded with a dull ache as I crawled slowly through the sticky liquid and came to kneel before him, staring down at the entry wound in his chest. Someone was screaming and sobbing, but it took me actual seconds to realise the sound was coming from my own mouth as I took in Ryan’s lifeless eyes, still so ice blue even in death. His lips were slightly parted, but there were no breath sounds and his chest was entirely motionless. </p><p>This was what guns could do. Clutching at his t-shirt, I hunched over him as finally, the numbing panic amplified and burst forth as I fiercely shook him and shouted at him repeatedly until someone dragged me off of him. I kicked out, reluctant to leave his side. I didn’t know how to carry on without him.</p><p>And then warm water was pouring over me as I tried to understand; the officer that had pulled me off of Ryan was now gently cleaning the blood from my bare legs and hands in the bathroom but it was doing very little to clean my permanently-stained clothes - my cream polo-neck sweater and red skirt were beyond saving. He told me to calm down and to breathe while he spoke to his colleague, but I had forgotten how - logical thought had left me as my tears mixed with the water. This had to be a nightmare.</p><p>But it wasn’t; I was hyper-aware of everything around me as the shower continued to drip even after the cop switched it off. The way my now-wet clothing clung to my skin as he helped me out and wrapped a towel around my shoulders, the fact that my fingernails felt odd on the ends of my fingers because blood had dried under them and  my ears were ringing slightly from the gunshot struck me. My thoughts were a mess of confusion as I tried to process what was happening. My whole body hurt tensing up from my extreme emotions, my chest still constricting as I tried to breathe normally because the cop kept telling me to and instead only began to hyperventilate.</p><p>I was ushered slowly downstairs as I physically resisted, not wanting to leave Ryan. If I left him, his body would be taken away. If I left him, I wouldn’t see him again. And who would tell Laurie? I pictured her face crumpling as she was informed that the father of her two very young children had been shot dead tonight. They would grow up without a dad, like I had. These thoughts turned my stomach.</p><p>Upon entering the living room, I fought again to go back upstairs, twisting against the officer guiding me as he told me to sit down, his tone not unkind but firm nonetheless. A few other cops spoke quietly to one another in here, their words a mere buzz of nonsense because all I could think about was that Ryan Haywood was dead. He didn’t deserve to be dead. </p><p>It was my fault too, because if I hadn’t distracted him by begging him not to shoot the stealing lowlife, said lowlife never would have been able to get a hold of the weapon. My plea had made him turn his head and had altered his focus just long enough to cause chaos. I wondered if the blame for his death was going to be pinned on me since the criminals were now absent and I was doused in his body’s vital life fluid. </p><p>I felt someone take my chilled hand as a cop sat beside me and I leaned sideways to sob into his arms, his embrace only hurting me more because Ryan would never again be able to hold me this way. My next thought was the reactions of people beyond me and his family; his colleagues, his friends, the <em>fans</em>. </p><p>“You’re going to be okay,” he told me, which sounded ludicrous because I never felt as though I would be okay ever again. I needed Geoff, but he lived too far away to get here any time soon and besides, it was the middle of the night. “Take some deep breaths, you’re hyperventilating. Breathe deep.”</p><p>“I loved him so much.” My voice cracked as I struggled to do as I’d been told through my tears.</p><p>“Who?” The officer smelled pleasantly musky and oddly familiar. </p><p>“Ryan. I loved him so much.” </p><p>There was a pregnant pause in which the man sighed heavily. </p><p>“I’m right here, [Y/N]. I keep telling you, look at me. <em>Look</em> at me.” </p><p>What I thought to be reality crumbled around me as my brain tripped over itself and a cloud of confusion descended. The cop was gone and sitting holding me close was Ryan himself. Slowly, I blinked at him. His t-shirt bore no bullet tear, no staining of blood, nothing out of the ordinary at all as he gazed steadily at me, waiting for me to respond. <br/>“I…I don’t…understand…” I shook my head, the images of his lifeless body on the floor still fresh in my mind. “I’m not wet.”</p><p>The cop had washed off some of the blood upstairs, how was I dry already? There was a large fluffy bath towel around my shoulders and I was definitely shivering but my hair, clothes and skin were bone dry. Had I lost all sense of time, too? How long had I been sitting here?</p><p>“No…you’re not,” Ryan replied hesitantly, though I hardly dared believe it was him even as I watched him get up to see out the cops. I had no idea what was going on any more.</p><p>From my seat on the sofa, I could hear them exchanging words in the hallway by the front door, in poorly-hushed tones for my benefit. In different circumstances I might have been insulted by this, but currently all I felt was numb.</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want us to call for medical help?” asked a female police officer quietly. “She seems like she could use it.”</p><p>“She’ll be fine, she’s just in shock,” Ryan replied. “Thanks again.”</p><p>“Call us if you need anything else, Mr Haywood. Have a good night,” said a gruff officer before Ryan shut the door gently and returned through the living room.</p><p>“How do you feel?” he asked me, sitting back down beside me but eying me as though I might explode at any second. </p><p>“Confused. Tired,” I answered him truthfully, finally accepting that he wasn’t dead, though I didn’t understand how. Snaking my arms around him gratefully, I breathed him in and heard his heart beating in his chest against my ear. “I thought you got shot.”</p><p>“Nobody got shot,” he sighed, embracing me. “I keep telling you. You lost it when the gun fired, you starting screaming and shaking. You scared the shit out of me.” </p><p>“But…what about all of the blood?” I asked, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. </p><p>“What blood?” he frowned. “The bullet went through the ceiling, nobody got hit. I got him on the floor but you were clawing at the carpet on the landing in the doorway. You did distract that asshole so I could incapacitate him though, so thanks for that.”</p><p>I looked down at myself silently - my clothes were completely clean, supporting this statement.</p><p>“At first I thought you were shouting because you thought I’d gotten shot,” Ryan went on. “Then <em>I</em> panicked because I thought <em>you’d</em> been shot. There was no blood anywhere on you but you didn’t stop freaking out and then you weren’t <em>seeing me</em>. It was like you were having some kind of psychotic break.”</p><p>“I don’t understand what happened,” I confessed, feeling vulnerable and cold even though he was so warm against me. “Did you wash off the blood? I was in the shower and an officer was…” </p><p>He was already shaking his head slowly as I trailed off. “[Y/N], there was no blood. You were in the bathroom briefly with me because you crawled in there and then started crying and fighting me off like you were trying to get back into the other room. The police were inches away from calling the hospital to commit you or something.”</p><p>I gripped him tighter, needing to be close him for several reasons but right now it was because I felt as though I was going insane. “That’s because that’s where your body was. Or,” I faltered, “where I thought your body was. I thought I’d lost you.”</p><p>Ryan’s hand found my hair as he sighed. “You had me worried too. When the police showed up, they weren’t entirely sure who had actually broken in because you’d gone nuts. I had to explain that you were just in a lot of shock because of the gunfire.”</p><p>Processing this, things started to gradually click into their logical places in my mind even though my version of events were different to his. “How many criminals were there in the end?”</p><p>“Just two. They arrested them both and then interviewed me informally while I tried to calm you down,” Ryan told me, getting to his feet and taking my hand. “Come with me.”</p><p>We traipsed into the kitchen and he sat me down at the wooden table in there where we had eaten chocolate cake together late at night on his Birthday. I pulled the big soft towel further around myself as I watched him move around his kitchen, unable to take my eyes off of him. He was <em>alive</em>. This was the true reality of the situation, not whatever my brain had conjured up for some reason.</p><p>“Am I crazy?” I asked quietly as he pulled a half-full, resealed bag of mini marshmallows out of his cupboard along with milk from his fridge. </p><p>He chuckled. “A little, sometimes. But not generally, no.”</p><p>“You being dead was so vivid to me,” I commented in response to this, finally feeling myself warm up a bit. “I could feel and smell your blood all over me.”</p><p>Stirring the two mugs with a spoon, he raised an eyebrow at me before walking over and placing a hot chocolate in front of me. He then sat down too, observing me with obvious concern as my hands immediately went to the warm cup gratefully. </p><p>“That’s disturbing. Did you ever talk to a shrink after you got shot months ago?” Ryan asked.</p><p>I shook my head, fixated on the way the liquid in the mug was moving in a circular motion from where he’d stirred it. I’d thought I was fine. Initially I’d been aware of some issues because I couldn’t even enter Geoff’s bedroom for weeks and when I’d tried on Halloween party night, I’d wound up running outside to almost throw up on the front lawn in the cold. It had taken me a while to feel safe there again, but eventually with Ryan and Geoff’s help I’d managed to overcome that feeling of fear and dread at being in there, so naturally I’d assumed I was okay. </p><p>Clearly, I’d been wrong.</p><p>“You need to talk to someone,” Ryan continued. “You nearly died all those months ago. You can’t just brush that off and if I’d known you never saw a therapist, I would have made you.”</p><p>“I don’t see how talking is going to help,” I shrugged a little. “I lived, I recovered. I just…had a panic attack or something up there because guns freak me out.”</p><p>“I wonder why,” Ryan replied wryly. “Look, that was not a panic attack. People don’t hallucinate during panic attacks. You thought I was someone else completely for <em>minutes</em>.”</p><p>Lowering my head into my hands, I sighed. “Okay fine. I’ll make an appointment.” And while I was genuinely going to make one, I’d said this only to satisfy him. If it helped, that would be a bonus I guess but I already felt like I was being a massive burden as a girl with an apparently broken brain.</p><p>“Drink your hot chocolate,” he instructed gently, so I took a sip. I supposed that the sugar in it would make me feel better, but he was still looking at me strangely.</p><p>“I’m fine, really,” I tried to convince him, already feeling miles better than I had ten minutes ago as I smiled at the little floating marshmallows he had added. “This is good by the way, thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” he answered. “I don’t think we should go to the New Year’s Eve firework event downtown.”</p><p>Startled, I looked up from my cup at him. “What? Why?”</p><p>“The gunshot was what clearly triggered you,” Ryan told me, fixing me with a stare. “It’s probably not a good idea to go somewhere with multiple similar loud noises right now.”</p><p>“But I want to go,” I whined. “I’ll be alright.”</p><p>“What if it happens again?” </p><p>“It won’t, I-“</p><p>“You don’t know that,” he cut me off, causing irritation to prickle at me. “You didn’t see this coming and you wouldn’t see it coming again. The fireworks could throw you into another breakdown.”</p><p>My mouth opened and closed because he obviously thought he was making this decision for me and his word was final. “Ryan, I’m an adult. I’ve decided to go, so I’m going.” He was still gazing at me, but I refused to back down. “I will be okay.”</p><p>“Fine, but we’re telling Geoff about all of this,” he responded, his words clipped. “And you should tell Hanna too so that she can support you while we’re not with you.” </p><p>I gasped, immediately throwing up my guard. “And have everyone treat me like I’m made of porcelain? Hell no!” I finished the last of my hot chocolate and got up. “Don’t tell anyone about this.”</p><p>“You probably have PTSD,” Ryan said a little snappily, standing up too and following me into the hallway where I had been about to climb the stairs up to his bedroom. “I just care about your wellbeing. You should tell Geoff and Hanna so we can help you.”</p><p>“I know you do, but I can’t not live my life because of this and all they will do is coddle me and worry about me,” I pointed out as we climbed the steps. I walked around to the side of the bed and shrugged off the towel that had been around my shoulders as I undressed. “And please, I’m going to ask you again: don’t tell anyone.”</p><p>Standing with his arms folded and a slight frown on his face, Ryan merely stared at me. “You’re such a stubborn bitch, d’you know that?” </p><p>“Yep,” I said, sliding into bed while he flicked off the lights. In the dark, I relaxed a little as he shed his jeans and t-shirt and climbed in beside me with a heavy sigh. I felt him shuffle over to lay closely behind me despite his irritation, his hand caressing my hip in gentle circles as I lay on my side and smiled. “Ry-Ry?”</p><p>“Yeah?” he sounded tired and a little annoyed at me but I ignored this. </p><p>“I’m really relieved you’re not dead,” I whispered, exhausted from the whole ordeal.</p><p>He leaned to kiss my exposed shoulder. “Funnily enough, so am I. But we’re telling Geoff about tonight at a minimum.” </p><p>“No, we’re not,” I said firmly, picturing exactly how he would react, with panic in his eyes and a want to bubble-wrap me until the end of my days. “And if you breathe a word to anyone I swear I won’t fuck you for a month.”</p><p>“Don't make promises you can’t keep,” he replied pointedly, digging his fingernails into my hip a little knowing it would make me squirm. “And by the way, I love you too. Are you sure about the fireworks?”</p><p>“One-hundred percent sure.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. Fireworks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s late 2014 going into 2015. New Year’s Eve is here! ]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: brief mention of a suicidal theme with no detail at end of chapter, not involving you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Thanks for inviting me along, you guys!” Hanna grinned, her face a picture of genuine excitement as we trawled Sixth Street and navigated along the sidewalk through the throngs of hundreds of people. I’d worn my skinny jeans tonight along with a grey band t-shirt and my black leather jacket, wisely figuring that the temperature would cool down the later it got and it went without saying that my choker was around my neck as usual. Hanna had dressed similarly, except minus the t-shirt and plus a black sparkly blouse and jacket. I wasn’t sure, with how prim and proper she usually looked outside of clubs, that she even owned anything that was less than smart-casual. </p><p>“We weren’t just gonna leave you at home on your own,” Geoff shrugged, taking her hand as she took mine so that we wouldn’t get separated in the crowd. “Jeremy messaged me earlier, he’s here somewhere too with his girlfriend.”</p><p>With just half an hour left of twenty-fourteen, downtown Austin was absolutely buzzing with people. The square grassy commons had been commandeered for a temporarily set up stage area that was ablaze with lights and screens displaying a countdown timer to midnight. Live music played loudly nearby on huge speakers as we approached a few of the food trucks, all of us starving. </p><p>Hotdogs with grilled onions, melted cheese and the kind of dogs where they’re so artificial that your teeth kind of snap through the skin when you bite into them - we ate ravenously and they were good. Lost in the moment for a second as my tastebuds appreciated the junk food, I watched Geoff answer his cell and attempt to take a call.</p><p>“Todd said he’d be near the ferris wheel!” Hanna told me, nodding in the direction of the towering colourful fairground ride that had been constructed specially for New Year’s Eve, along with a bunch of of other rides that spanned the entirety of the large square park. </p><p>“Then let’s go find him,” I suggested.</p><p>Geoff had slipped his phone back into his pocket and with a big mouthful of hotdog, he followed us as we joined hands again in a line to stay together, the masses of people only seeming to get more and more dense. After a few minutes of searching and standing on tiptoes to see over the crowd, Hanna spotted blonde floppy-haired Todd scanning for us too. She immediately joined her hands with his and the two kissed sweetly and mouthed “hi” at one another. </p><p>“Hey,” Geoff smiled, reaching to shake his hand and nodding at him in acknowledgement. “I’m Geoff.” With his black t-shirt leaving his arms totally bare, Todd’s eyes immediately slid down to stare just as many people did when they first met him. </p><p>“You’ve gotta be, right?” he laughed, but it was politely jovial. “Hanna mentioned you, said you had <em>a lot</em> of tatts.”</p><p>“Most of them aren’t even visible right now,” I added while Hanna offered to feed Todd some of her hotdog and he took her up on the offer while the pair giggled.</p><p>“I think you’ve seen them all,” Geoff smiled at me, ruffling my hair and finishing his own hotdog. “Not many people have.” </p><p>“I’m so <em>lucky</em>,” I grinned with sarcasm as he unattractively spoke with his mouth full, causing him to flip me off in good humour. </p><p>Someone poked me in the sides from behind the next minute, making me jump before turning to see Jeremy beaming with Kat in tow. They had definitely been drinking because I could smell it on the lad who was standing by me, but what was more obvious was the way that Jeremy was much more touchy-feely when he was inebriated. In their hands were sticks with masses of blue cotton candy atop them.</p><p>“Gotcha!” he yelled as he and Kat cracked up at my clear shock. </p><p>“‘Guys!” I merrily greeted the drunk pair before giving them hugs. They smelled as though they had fallen straight out of a bar but then, it was the occasion for it.</p><p>“Hey, there’s only twenty minutes to go!” Hanna chirped, patting our arms to get our attention and pointing with enthusiasm. </p><p>She was right - the huge display bearing the digital clock was still counting down steadily. I wondered wryly if Ryan was going to be late to New Year’s Eve. After our short discussion about me even coming to this event the other night, I questioned if he wasn’t going to turn up because he was annoyed with me for rebelling against his advice.</p><p>I felt Geoff link his fingers through mine as we all walked slowly towards the huge river, which would easily give the best view of the firework display across the other side of it. There were people we knew with us and people who might know of us all around and yet I found myself wishing that he could leash me again, like we had done in the streets of LA. The heart of Austin would be the best and worst place to do this simultaneously; while it was a city renown for being very free, liberal and forward-thinking, it also imposed the highest risk of us being recognised and therefore photographed, something that could not possibly end well.</p><p>The riverbank was a little eerie as we stood by the stone wall; the water was darker than even the night sky and was an abyss of inky blackness that stretched expansively. I felt Geoff slide his arm around me and pull me to his side as my phone buzzed in my jacket pocket. Careful not to outright drop it onto the concrete slabs beneath my feet like I had done before with my previous one, I checked to see that Ryan had messaged me.</p><p>
  <em>‘Here. Where are you?’</em>
</p><p>To say I was relieved was an understatement - it would definitely have marred the night’s experience if I was missing someone I cared about so much. I texted him back quickly to say that we were by the river and gave him the name of a bar we were opposite to give him a landmark. Five more minutes slipped by and he appeared by my side, smiling at Jeremy, Kat, Hanna, Todd and Geoff in greeting before facing me.</p><p>“I’m sorry I’m late. Laurie had an animal emergency so I had to get a babysitter at the last second,” he told me loudly over the noise and commotion around us. </p><p>I nodded, gladly accepting his apology and reaching my free hand out to take his. On my other side, Geoff gave my other hand a squeeze because someone near us was holding their cellphone out with the numbers ’11:59’ emblazoned on it. He gripped my right hand more tightly than Geoff was holding my left, I noticed.</p><p>With a sigh, I realised I was only beginning to feel apprehensive because Ryan seemed to be expecting something drastic to happen as he watched me for a moment before turning his attention to the sky.</p><p>An echo in the form of a wave was washing over the crowd now as everybody began to count down from ten and then at one, our eyes were shining with reflections of the sky bathed in the abundance of bright, multicoloured fireworks that made odd thunks as they shot into the air before exploding. I winced slightly at the first few bangs only because I was adjusting to how loud they were before I felt Geoff turn my head with his palm on my cheek to kiss my lips gently with a smile and a ‘Happy New Year’.</p><p>Then I turned to Ryan to kiss him too, seeing the relief in his eyes plain as day that I hadn’t gone to pieces again as our lips met softly as well. We’d barely parted before we were being shuffled into the bar behind us by Jeremy and Kat, who seemed to be getting with Todd and Hanna like a house on fire and the common element seemed to be alcohol.</p><p>‘Packed’ was an understatement; there was barely a place to breathe let alone stand, but we just about managed to cram in and find somewhere as a group. A considerable amount of people helpfully proceeded to leave to see the fireworks, freeing up the bar a little as Jeremy and Geoff went up to order and came back with two bottles of champagne and seven flute glasses. </p><p>“To a great twenty-fifteen!” Geoff grinned as he handed around the glasses and poured the bottles over each to fill them. </p><p>Ryan and I exchanged looks. Never before had I had champagne because I’d just had no particular desire for it, but when presented with it and offered it so readily, I didn’t feel like I wanted to turn it down. It was strange drinking something bubbly and alcoholic at the same time and it was also kind of dry and sharp-tasting, though it made me feel warm and fuzzy as I took several sips. </p><p>With a sudden shrug and a ‘fuck it’, Ryan took a couple of gulps from his glass as everybody stared at him before cheering and clapping. </p><p>“That was fucking disgusting,” he commented right after, pulling a face with a laugh. “Ugh!”</p><p>“It’s not so bad,” I replied honestly, still steadily sipping mine as Hanna commented that this was apparently ‘really good champagne’ and Todd agreed. Wondering when she’d become such an expert in alcohol, I was interrupted in my thoughts as our little group was joined suddenly by Michael and Lindsay.</p><p>Ryan handed his glass off to Lindsay as Michael requested another from the bar to share in the drinking, their cheeks a little red from the cool breeze outside by the river.</p><p>“To love, I guess!” Lindsay giggled, raising her glass as we all made another toast with her. </p><p>“And happiness!” I added, taking sudden notice of a guy staring at me not too far away and attempting not to make eye-contact.</p><p>The evening went on with shared stories about Christmas, presents and family as we all got caught up with everything and tried not to cause a public disturbance with our laughter and wobbliness, though of course we were far from the only ones. After two glasses I had stopped drinking, knowing I was a tipsy lightweight and not wanting to end up with the same killer hangover I’d had after going to that club before with my sister. But Geoff had switched to whiskey and as I watched him get progressively more drunk, I glanced around to see indifference to this fact. I realised later that the group were so used to seeing him consuming alcohol that they had forgotten his resolution to keep off of it.</p><p>“You’ve had enough,” I said gently, trying to stop him for ordering more at the bar. “Geoff, come on.”</p><p>With a charming grin, he merely looked at me. “I did it again, right? Am I in trouble?”</p><p>“Keep drinking and you will be,” I said in what I hoped to be a threatening tone, but all he did was pull me into a drunken embrace. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll stop,” he slurred. “I’ll stop after the next one. It’s New Year’s Eve! Don’t look at me like that.”</p><p>I didn’t want to be his mother. But I also didn’t want him to get absolutely plastered and he was certainly going in that direction. “Please don’t…you’re already drunk and you said you’d quit alcohol.”</p><p>Michael appeared at the bar beside us, wondering what the hold up was on the next round. When he quickly gained perspective of the situation, he shook his head at me a little.</p><p>“You can’t make him stop. If he wants to get shit-faced, let him.” </p><p>“You don’t understand, he promised me he would get sober,” I bit my lip. “For his own good. And for his family’s good.”</p><p>“Well he’s an adult and you can’t control him. If he decides to stop for those reasons, he will. You can’t guilt him into it,” Michael replied curtly, irritating me somewhat because of his lack of support. Sure, he had good points, but Geoff was likely never going to be able to quit entirely of his own accord; he needed a support system, morally and otherwise. He’d even said it himself in the past that he had real trouble self-regulating. </p><p>Upon returning to our spot, I became aware of how Lindsay, Hanna, Todd, Jeremy and Kat were all as drunk as he was, if not more; apparently ‘seeing in the new year’ involved not remembering the night before. Ryan at least was sober, though he didn’t seem to be taking any notice of the fact that Geoff was totally intoxicated for the first time in weeks and this bugged me somewhat. His relationship with Geoff extended no further than friendship despite our arrangement, but I still figured he should care more.</p><p>As Lindsay and I made our way to the ladies’ toilets, she was telling me something about seeing her niece over Christmas and how that had made her want children more than ever, but I was so preoccupied it took me a moment to catch up.</p><p>“I thought you wanted to wait?” I asked, remembering our conversation months back that had involved her feeling pressured not to wait to have children after marrying Michael, despite him having said nothing to imply this.</p><p>This sparked a whole conversation about how ‘trying’ could take a while sometimes so maybe they should start now in preparation anyway, along with a bunch of complicated period cycle stuff. All of this only really reaffirmed to me that I personally didn’t want kids, but out of consideration, I didn’t mention this.</p><p>Eventually we all parted ways and the evening came to a close.</p><p>“You can come back to mine, right?” I asked Ryan while we walked as I eyed Hanna, Todd and Geoff who were drunkenly singing together as we left the bar. </p><p>“I can’t, I promised the babysitter that I wouldn’t be all night and I’m already paying her triple,” Ryan sighed heavily. “Are you gonna be alright with them?” He nodded at my sister, her boyfriend and my other boyfriend, who were all leaning on one another for literal support now. </p><p>Disappointment flooded me, but ultimately I understood.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Can we have a lift though? You drove here, right?”</p><p>“I did,” he replied, nodding. “Sure. I’ll drop you four off.”</p><p>***</p><p>“What do we do?” a panicked female voice asked.</p><p>“I don’t know, she won’t stop,” a tired male voice responded.</p><p>I continued to thrash. </p><p>
  <em>Gunfire and blood everywhere, coating the walls and floor and staining everything in sight. It was filtering in through every seam and crevice in the room - I was going to drown in it if I didn’t get out. I yanked open the door, the blood sloshing around my ankles as I cast a horrified look out into the hallway of Ryan’s home. The dark liquid was so deep it was filling the house, flowing up the stairs having very much already submerged downstairs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My only option was out through the window. I turned back to see that the latch was fastened but with trembling hands, I threw it open and hoisted myself up on the sill to climb out. It was a fair drop, but if I attempted to climb some of the way down I might not break anything if I was lucky. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Someone shoved hard at me from behind and then I was tumbling and screaming, head over heels as I felt my body hit the earth below hard. In agony, I slowly turned my head because someone was laying beside me but when I saw who it was I couldn’t even muster any composure.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Geoff. He was broken, probably having been pushed the same way I had, his leg twisted at a weird angle and his eyes alight with strangled pain as he tried to gasp words at me and I fought not to scream through my tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You…pushed…me.”</em>
</p><p>“We need to wake her up, she’s gonna hurt herself,” someone was saying distantly.</p><p>“What do you think I’m trying to do?” came the snappy reply of a woman’s voice. </p><p>
  <em>“I would never do that!” I cried, reaching for his cold hand as we lay on the grass. “I wouldn’t hurt you, I had to get out of the house because of the blood!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What blood?” Geoff whispered. “There was no blood.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Confused, I tried to sit up and make sense of this. “No, I know before I thought there was blood and there wasn’t because Ryan told me what really happened. But this time, there was blood. It was getting really deep, it was…” I stopped because even to me, my words sounded absolutely ridiculous. How much blood would you need to fill up a house? Definitely more than several people’s worth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re bleeding,” Geoff groaned, tugging his hand from my grasp and resting it on my abdomen. “Gotta…put pressure…on it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, you’re hurt!” I shook my head. I would survive. He might not. I needed him to live. “Geoff, let me help.” I managed to get myself into a sitting position as his blue eyes watched the red pour from my wound. My whole body ached and my head felt particularly heavy.</em>
</p><p>“Get some fuckin’ water or something,” someone said. “Dump it on her.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” </p><p>“Do it!” </p><p>
  <em>“You don’t need to help me,” Geoff sighed, his hand shaking as I gripped it hard while he continued to lie there on the damp grass. “You’ve been shot. And it’s my fault.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, I…you’re hurt,” I repeated, because while my wound burned I needed him to be alright. “I’m fine.”</em>
</p><p>I woke up suddenly from the shock of ice cold water hitting my face and chest as I gasped for breath and bolted upright, fighting off the hands that were now reaching for me. </p><p>“Hey, it’s okay!” Hanna said quickly, dropping the cup that she’d just emptied on me onto the nightstand. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, oh god that must have been so cold! It was his idea!”</p><p>Blinking wetly, I breathed heavily as my eyes flitted from her to Geoff who was sitting beside me in bed wearing a frown and a look of sleepy confusion. Had I been even remotely cool, I would have shivered, but currently I felt as though I was burning up instead. </p><p>“You were having such a bad nightmare that you kept hitting me,” Geoff told me calmly. “Then you wouldn’t wake up and you were yelling. What the hell were you dreaming about?”</p><p>My cloudy, fuzzy brain struggled to catch up. A nightmare. Of course it had been. “What time is it?”</p><p>“About five in the morning,” Geoff sighed. “Are you okay?”</p><p>I hesitated, because telling him about the dream would mean having to explain about the shot fired at Ryan’s house the other night when he had been burgled by two armed men, despite the bullet piercing the ceiling thankfully harmlessly. I couldn’t possibly burden Geoff with that. Not only would he worry about me constantly, he also had way more than enough on his plate as it was to deal with. I refused to be a burden. </p><p>“I’m good,” I replied, wiping my face with the towel that Hanna handed me, looking very sheepish as she left us alone and closed my bedroom door behind her. “Bit wet though.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Geoff agreed with me, his sleepy eyes trailing very obviously down to where my nipples were now showing through my soaked white camisole.</p><p>With a small smirk, I pulled it off over my head in front of him and threw it aside, using the towel to dry myself better before laying back down. “Geoff?”</p><p>“Yeah?” he grinned, pulling me close so that my head came to rest on his colourfully-inked chest. He smelled of alcohol, but I didn’t really mind in that moment. </p><p>“Did you do that just to get me topless?” I teased.</p><p>“No but that worked out great,” he sighed with a tired smile whilst stroking the bare skin of my shoulder. His eyes drooped closed as he fell very quickly back to sleep, the alcohol probably vastly helping in this.</p><p>I didn’t fall back to sleep at all.</p><p>As I wiled away the hours by staring at my ceiling and then at my phone, I realised that the occasional leaked picture of Meg was still appearing on my timeline on Twitter. Scrolling quickly past the raunchy photoshoots, I answered some messages from a couple of people I knew personally before posting an update about it sucking being awake at this time. Dropping my phone down on my nightstand, I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes exhaustedly while Geoff snored lightly beside me, his bare right calf draped out over the edge of the bed and without duvet covering it. He had slept solidly all throughout my watching various things on Youtube on my phone to pass the time, though perhaps that had more to do with the fact that I wasn’t hitting him and yelling due to a nightmare now. </p><p>Eight AM. I didn’t feel particularly like eating after the nightmare had shaken me up so much so I skipped out on breakfast. Wondering vaguely if anyone else would be in the office today, I ran my hand through my short hair, thinking as I gathered some clothes together to wear. I could go in early and get some stuff done, maybe leave a note for Geoff, Hanna and Todd, who were surely going to sleep in after getting so drunk mere hours ago.</p><p>The brisk walk from my apartment to the office woke me up some, not curing my tiredness but certainly washing away most of the warm and comfy sleepiness that was lingering. Coffee in my hands and sitting down to my desk in our office, I reached to switch on my computer before jumping violently because someone had just made a noise in the support side room. With the assumption that I was alone, I hadn’t expected this.</p><p>When nobody emerged, I felt compelled to check who was in there. Approaching slowly, I peaked though the gap in the door to see Trevor sitting at his desk clicking his mouse. </p><p>“You’re here early,” I commented, wondering what time he had arrived here this morning.</p><p>Turning his head a little in acknowledgement of my presence, he merely nodded. “I needed to get out of the house, y’know? Why’re you here at the light of dawn?”</p><p>“Couldn’t sleep,” I shrugged, sitting down beside him in Matt’s chair. “Did you have a good Christmas?”</p><p>“As a matter of fact, I did,” Trevor grinned, looking for the first time in the last few minutes like he was actually happy. “Saw my folks. The dinner was great. Last night wasn’t so great.”</p><p>“Oh?” I asked, admittedly curious. “Did you spend it with Barb?”</p><p>“No,” he sighed. “I wound up spending it with Emily. She turned up at my door drunk and crying and ended up staying the night.”</p><p>I gawped at him. “Your ex? Tell me you didn’t sleep with her…”</p><p>“Hell no. But I did feel kinda responsible when she wouldn’t leave, telling me all these things like how much she misses me and how she wishes we were back together. She moved out a while back but…this morning I just…needed to go somewhere she couldn’t follow me, so I came here,” Trevor explained, looking sad. “When she stopped with the manipulative texting, I thought she was done. But then…last night happened. I left her in my bed. I slept on the sofa.”</p><p>Sympathetically, I pulled a face. There was no doubt that Emily was unstable with regards to her mental health and Trevor being the angel that he was would never turf her out and put her in a more vulnerable state than she already was. She had still been sending him threats of suicide up until recently, partially due to her jealousy over Barbara which she had stated herself. But she was playing her cards just right to tug on Trevor’s heartstrings enough to keep him in her life in the worst way.</p><p>“Trey…” I hesitated, not knowing what to say to him. He merely shot me an attempt at a smile that was more like a grimace and returned to staring at his computer. </p><p>“I don’t want Barbara to get the wrong idea,” he continued quietly, “but I also can’t just abandon someone who might…do something…stupid to herself.”</p><p>Understandingly, I nodded. “You mentioned this at the Christmas party, dude. You need to get her help because she won’t get it herself and you’re maybe the only person who can talk her into taking that help. You can’t keep living like this.”</p><p>“I know,” Trevor sighed. “Trust me, I know.” He paused, meeting my eyes again with his unusually somber deep brown ones. “How was your night? It had to have been better than mine, right?”</p><p>As I detailed my New Year’s Eve, I heard someone walk into the main office next door and drop some keys down on a desk before sitting comfortably in a chair. From that alone, I couldn’t tell who it was, so I called out instead.</p><p>“Hi!” </p><p>“Morning!” Jack replied cheerily back. “I just came in to check some stuff and then I’m going home again.”</p><p>That figured. It wasn’t an official work day, but I guess for some of us, old habits died hard.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. Sharing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. It’s been a couple of days since NYE. You see a therapist and confide in Geoff against your better judgement.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The first week of January brought with it my shrink appointment, though I was very much of the opinion that it wouldn’t help me a bit since I just wanted to forget about the two gun-related incidents I’d been directly involved in within the last four months. Geoff had been interested as my boss to know why I wanted every Monday morning off work for the foreseeable future, but I hadn’t told him the reason.</p><p>The room was strangely clinical in atmosphere as I shuffled on the sofa, awkwardly looking anywhere but at my new therapist while she stared me down, notepad in hand. Her white blouse and navy blue pencil skirt were smart, pressed and professional, making me feel way out of place in a t-shirt and jeans. There was lots of mahogany and a huge bookcase containing probably a hundred books and from the spines, they were predictably mental-health and psychology related. </p><p>I shuffled again, winding my fingers together as I tried to relax, but there was something unnerving about the way that Doctor Honn was staring at me so knowingly. </p><p>“Let’s continue talking about the first incident, as you called it,” she said calmly. “The one where you actually got shot.”</p><p>Pursing my lips, I stared through the vertical blinds and out of the window to my right. I supposed I should just cooperate and maybe she wouldn’t keep the sessions going for weeks on end but we had been here for thirty minutes already and I had detailed everything I could think of.</p><p>“It hurt,” I replied bluntly, remembering how the pain had only kicked in as a burning sensation in my abdomen minutes after the shot had been fired, probably contributing to my confusion on who had actually been injured.</p><p>“What went through your mind in the moment when you were standing in front of-“ Doctor Honn checked her notes, “-Ellie?”</p><p>“Fear. Realisation that she had been the one sending me threats,” I sighed. “I was terrified she was going to shoot Gavin or Geoff.”</p><p>Nodding a little because we had gone through who those people were to me earlier in the session, she wrote something down. “Were you scared she was going to shoot you?”</p><p>“She was pointing the gun at Geoff for a while because he was closest,” I gritted my teeth, remembering the incident all-too vividly. “That scared me more than her pointing the gun at me, which she did next.”</p><p>“So you were more preoccupied with the lives of the other two men rather than your own?” Doctor Honn asked, tilting her head a little and I knew she was doing that shrink thing where she would draw some silly conclusion about me like I was suicidal or something.</p><p>“It was my fault that she was even there with a gun in the first place,” I replied bitterly. “She thought I had stolen Gavin from her and was dating him.”</p><p>“And you see that as being your fault?”</p><p>“Well…yeah,” I said, exasperated. </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because if it weren’t for me working at Rooster Teeth, she wouldn’t have jealously pursued me.”</p><p>Doctor Honn raised her eyebrows a little. “So you feel as though you shouldn’t work where you do?”</p><p>“I didn’t say that,” I rolled my eyes.</p><p>She crossed one leg neatly over the other. “Tell me about Geoff. I notice you mentioned that he’s your boss as well as your boyfriend. Which came first?” she inquired, changing tact.</p><p>There was no point in lying about anything because it would only slow this process down. Still, it felt odd revealing everything about my life to a complete stranger and the only thing stopping me from zipping my lips and walking out was the knowledge that I had the promise of confidentiality. </p><p>“He hired me years ago. I thought he was kind of hot at the time but thought no more of it until I was working with him more closely. Then I got a huge crush on him,” I told her truthfully. “Our office environment isn’t…normal. We’re always messing around and having a laugh, sometimes at each others’ expense. Our job is to entertain so we’re quite a variety of personalities.” </p><p>“Do you think you were attracted to him or his position of power over you?” Doctor Honn asked, surprising me slightly.</p><p>“To him first and foremost,” I replied. “But…the fact he’s also my boss is…well…” I trailed off, not wanting to admit out loud the fact that it turned me way the hell on that he was above me in my job too, for some reason. Perhaps it was the forbidden intimacy on work premises. </p><p>She seemed to get the message though because she merely smiled knowingly again and made another note. I wondered what my notes consisted of at this point. Maybe something like, <em>'Crazy girl who falls in love too easily and would die to save others without thinking - might be best to admit her immediately.’</em></p><p>“But Ryan, he’s not in charge of you, is he?” Doctor Honn continued. “And yet you’re seeing him too.”</p><p>I resisted the strong urge to tell her that he was very much in charge of me too, just not in the way she was thinking. A sly smile crept onto my lips before I could stop it.</p><p>“Is there something funny?” she frowned, obviously confused.</p><p>“Not really,” I answered. “It’s just that…they both…” I hesitated. Was I really going to bare all to this woman? </p><p>“Go on,” she prompted.</p><p>“We have a very…different kind of relationship,” I told her, speaking quickly so as to get the sentence out faster, like ripping off a bandaid. “They dominate me in the bedroom. Sometimes together. And I like pain. Sexually, I mean. And I like feeling like I belong to them.”</p><p>“Interesting…” Doctor Honn made several more notes at this admission, causing me to lower my face into my hands for a few seconds. “Does the dominance only happen during sexual activity?”</p><p>Thoughts of Geoff leashing me and the way that Ryan would sometimes look at me flashed through my head. “No.”</p><p>“So you like not being in control?” </p><p>“I guess,” I shrugged. This was definitely true considering the fact that I even surrendered my choice on when I could orgasm during sex to them. “I like the way they treat me. Being told what to do calms down my anxiety in a situation because I’m just following directions without fear of being judged. And I trust them completely with my wellbeing.”</p><p>“You rely on the two of them to help with your anxiety?”</p><p>“Yes,” I answered simply. </p><p>There was a pause as her pen danced across her notepad once again, her eyes down as I glanced at the clock uncomfortably. We were almost at the hour mark.</p><p>The silence stretched on longer this time as the only source of noise was the quiet scratching of pen on paper. </p><p>“I think we’ll bring this to a close for this week,” Doctor Honn finally said, standing up and making me feel as though I should too. “Next week we’ll talk more about that first incident and I want to touch on the nightmares and the most recent incident.” She smiled brightly, as though this was fun or something.</p><p>Oh, goody.</p><p>With a polite nod, I left, feeling oddly vulnerable after sharing so much about me in such a short space of time with someone I hadn’t met before today. A short Uber trip later and I was back in our work building, strolling down the corridor and fully intending to walk back into our office and record Minecraft for the afternoon with my colleagues, needing some normalcy. </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me the reason you needed the time off?” came a voice from the kitchen area as I placed my hand on the door handle. I turned to see Geoff making himself a cup of coffee by the fridge. “I don’t think anybody could blame you for seeing a therapist. You’ve been through a lot. Why’d you hide it when you asked me for time off?”</p><p>“You have enough to deal with,” I shrugged, folding my arms defensively. “And Ryan made me because I keep having nightmares.”</p><p>They had gotten worse over the last few nights since New Year’s Eve and had gotten to the point where I was actively trying not to fall asleep in bed now for fear I would just wind up crying and fretting over loved ones dying in my dreams in horrible ways. I was exhaustedly getting by on coffee and napping for a couple of hours at a time, which so far had proven to be dreamless. </p><p>“Why, how many have you had recently?” Geoff asked with a frown as the smell of black coffee wafted my way enticingly. “I know you had that one where you kept hitting me in your sleep but you said it was nothing.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed, but he thunked his mug down on the counter behind me. </p><p>“Talk to me.”</p><p>“I can’t. You don’t need more shit to deal with,” I shook my head, watching him approach me and fold his arms as he stared down at me. </p><p>There was a pause as I thought he was going to walk past me into the office, but then he took my hand and began walking further up the corridor while I followed. “It’s fine if you don’t wanna talk about it where it’s so public, but you need to tell me what’s going on. I want to help.” He pushed open the door to our infamous storage closet and closed it behind us, flicking on the light.</p><p>As though conditioned, I smirked a little at him as a tiny thrill ran through me despite everything. “Really?”</p><p>“I’m being serious,” he replied, without smiling back. “Ryan told me you’ve started needing this therapy. Why now?”</p><p>Leaning against the wall, I gazed at the ceiling as he perched on the disused desk, his feet not quite touching the floor.</p><p>“I keep having nightmares about you and everyone else I love and care about being murdered,” I shrugged, as though this was totally normal. “That’s why.”</p><p>“You haven’t had nightmares for months,” Geoff replied pointedly, piercing me with his blue eyes. “As a matter of fact you were having sex dreams. Why have they started this badly now?”</p><p>Hesitating because he had backed me into a corner somewhat, I groaned frustratedly. “Look, I don’t want to be a burden to you with this. I didn’t even want to tell you about the therapy but I guess Ryan did instead.”</p><p>Looking a little hurt, Geoff raised his eyebrows. “I care about you, you’re not a burden to me.”</p><p>“Look, if I tell you…don’t freak out.” I tipped my head back against the wall gently, my gaze still on the ceiling.</p><p>“I won’t freak out,” he replied, though I wasn’t reassured in the slightest. </p><p>“The other week, I was at Ryan’s place,” I started slowly, “and during the night, two guys broke in and-”</p><p>His eyes were already wide, but he said nothing as I carried on.</p><p>“-one was armed. Ryan wrestled him for the gun and it fired off and…my reality warped,” I explained. “Ry told me what happened for real afterwards because nobody actually even got hurt, but he thinks the gunfire sent me into a psychotic break because I thought he had gotten shot was laying dead on the floor.”</p><p>Geoff’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he launched himself at me, doing exactly what I had predicted he would do as he embraced me so tightly I wondered if he was trying to crush me. </p><p>“Why didn’t you fuckin’ tell me about this? You…you had a fuckin’ episode and nearly got shot and you didn’t <em>tell</em> me? <em>Either</em> of you? I’m gonna fuckin’ kill Haywood-”</p><p>“It’s not his fault, I forced him not to tell you,” I mumbled into his chest as he squeezed me ever tighter. “I didn’t want to worry you, like I’m doing now. He wanted me to tell you.”</p><p>“[Y/N], it doesn’t matter what you think I’m going through, you can tell me anything any time, got it?” He pulled away from me and gripped me by the shoulders in order to meet my eyes with his.</p><p>Touched, I blinked and tried not to get emotional over his words. Clearing my throat, I bit my lip. “I’m sorry.” </p><p>Reaching to stroke my hair affectionately, he smiled a little. “S’alright. But don’t keep stuff from me, okay? What did you mean when you thought Ryan was dead on the floor?”</p><p>“Exactly that,” I sighed, leaning close to him again and feeling him slide his arms back around me much more gently now. “I was seeing things. I saw blood and I was kneeling over his body. It was so vivid and it took him a while to shake me out of it. I was really confused and apparently I was clawing at Ryan thinking he was someone else.”</p><p>If Geoff had looked worried before, he was now looking at me like I might spontaneously combust if he let go of me. “That…does sound like a fuckin’ psychotic break, yeah. Fuck.”</p><p>“I thought I was okay,” I said as we both stood there in one another’s embrace. “But then I wasn’t.”</p><p>“D’you wanna move in?”</p><p>I blinked in shock. “What?”</p><p>“Well that way I can make sure you’re okay,” he added as though it were all that simple. </p><p>“I can’t move in with you Geoff, Ryan would have a fit at the one-sidedness of it,” I smiled, imagining his reaction to the news. “It would give you an unfair share of time with me that he couldn’t compete with.”</p><p>“So move in with me and spend half your time at his place,” Geoff shrugged. “I don’t like it when you’re on your own anyway, I get paranoid about something happening to you. Besides, you and Millie get on great and on days that Ryan has his kids you can be at mine instead if you don’t want to play Nanny.” </p><p>I thought about this. Giving up my flat would feel like giving up my independence, but ultimately I was barely keeping it together right now anyway. Between the lack of sleep and the wishing I had someone to hold me in comfort after every nightmare, I realised that if I moved in with Geoff and lived with Ryan half the time, I’d never be alone. Previously this thought had terrified me as someone who needed space, but currently it was looking exceedingly appealing due to my feeling emotionally vulnerable as of late.</p><p>“Maybe we could take it slow,” I replied after a moment. “I could gradually move my stuff over rather than all in one go.”</p><p>“Whatever you wanna do,” Geoff murmured, still holding me as the closet door - which we hadn’t locked - opened wide. </p><p>Neither of us made to spring apart since we weren’t really doing anything wrong, but standing in the doorway was Gavin and he was suddenly grinning like a school boy. </p><p>“Alright, love?” he said cheerfully to me as Geoff flipped him off. “Interrupting, am I?” </p><p>“We’re just cuddling,” I grinned, watching as he seemed to be deciding whether he believed that was all we had been doing. “What’s up, Gav?”</p><p>“Minecraft in ten. You said you’d be in the office at twelve today,” he nodded to me before looking to Geoff, “and you disappeared at twelve. So I came to check the Bang Closet. Have you two been screwing in here?”</p><p>“Gavin, get the fuck out,” Geoff laughed. “We’ll be right there.”</p><p>“Okay, see you in two after you’ve banged!” Gavin called mockingly back to Geoff, who promptly shouted ‘Dipshit!’ after him. </p><p>Giggling now, we both parted. </p><p>“Should we be late now on purpose?” I asked, grinning slyly. “I mean, while we’re here, we could always make it worth our while.”</p><p>“Normally sweetheart, I’d say yeah, but…” he began to smirk, oddly. “I have plans later.”</p><p>“Plans?” I asked bemusedly. “What plans?”</p><p>“You’ll see,” he replied mysteriously, opening the closet door for me and gesturing for me to exit before him, but as I did so I suddenly remembered something.</p><p>“Is this about that role-play thing?” I gasped quietly, eying his expression for his reaction while we walked back to the office. A few weeks ago, Geoff, Ryan and I had had a pretty candid discussion about playing out a fantasy in which they would take me somewhere and have their way with me roughly while I pretended to resist for the fun of it. </p><p>“It might be,” Geoff replied teasingly, his eyes full of mischief. “Sure hope the underwear you’re wearing wasn’t too expensive.”</p><p>“There you both are!” Michael exclaimed in a tone of slight annoyance as we re-entered the officea minute later and sat down at our respective desks. “Jesus, we’ve been waiting! Where the fuck have you been?”</p><p>Gavin immediately opened his mouth to dob us in as Ryan cast me a curious glance. </p><p>“They were in the Bang Closet.”</p><p>“The Bang Closet?” Jack asked, sounding bemused. “What the fuck is that?”</p><p>“It’s this closet around the corner that Meg told me about, sometimes people screw in there or something apparently,” Gavin grinned, knowing that he was getting on my nerves by implying to the room that I’d just been doing more than I’d let on. “I mean, <em>I</em> haven’t. But <em>some</em> people do.”</p><p>“People are fucking at work?” Jack shook his head as Ray choked with laughter. “God, it’s not even a good place for it.”</p><p>I wondered briefly what his definition of a ‘good place to have sex’ was but then got weirded out by thinking about Jack sexually, so I stopped. </p><p>“Well that depends, surely,” Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean, you could argue that almost anywhere is a good place if you’re in the heat of the moment.”</p><p>“Yeah I guess, but…it’s not exactly romantic or discreet,” Jack shrugged, causing me to hide a grin at his words. </p><p>“It’s not about romance, Jack, it’s about fucking,” Geoff said bluntly, speaking aloud what I was just thinking. “Romance can be had elsewhere, like at home.”</p><p>“I take it you’ve used this closet, Geoff?” Jack sighed, looking like he didn’t really want the answer. </p><p>“Oh I bet he has,” Michael smirked, shooting me a smug look that told me he knew exactly who with. “I bet Ryan has too.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ,” Jack mumbled in response to this.</p><p>“Look, we spend a lot of our lives here,” I pointed out, laughing a little with a blush on my cheeks but inside, I was crippled with embarrassment. It had been bad enough Meg overhearing Ryan and I that one time, let alone my colleagues finding out.</p><p>“I’d use it, if Tina worked here,” Ray shrugged with a smile. “Would you use it, Gavin? Y’know, if Meg invited you to?”</p><p>The lad laughed a little and shrugged, but his cheeks had pinked somewhat. “I dunno.” </p><p>“Nah, he’s too vanilla,” Geoff said immediately, surprising me with his assumption which I’d found out accidentally recently to be totally wrong. “No way would he ever do something like that.”</p><p>The fact that Meg had slipped up and had told Ryan and I without meaning to that she took charge in the bedroom in a big way was not something I was about to announce to the room.</p><p>“I mean I would if the moment was right,” Gavin said sheepishly whilst twirling on his chair a little, possibly to hide his slight awkwardness. </p><p>“You mean if Meg ordered you to?” I prompted as I loaded Minecraft on my Xbox One, causing him to give me a look that clearly said ‘shut up’ from across the room. </p><p>“Nah, just…if I wanted,” he replied, laughing it off. “Bet <em>you</em> have because Ryan ordered <em>you</em> to, though.”</p><p>I guess I deserved that.</p><p>The atmosphere shifted very slightly in the room as Ryan pierced Gavin with his gaze. “In a minute I’ma order you to fuck off.”</p><p>Michael, Geoff and Ray all broke out into sniggers as the lad began to defend himself against the older man’s words but was quickly silenced as Jack decided to break it up.</p><p>“Are we playing fucking Minecraft or what?” he demanded of us all, amused but clearly wanting to cut the conversation short before it escalated any further. </p><p>“Sure, when that lot all stop fucking flirting,” Michael chuckled, grabbing his controller.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. Game</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Geoff &amp; Ryan gently take you ‘hostage’ and toy with you as the three of you role-play out an idea.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>- Explicit Content Warning</b> (pure filth, really, it was about time after a lot of angst)</p><p><b>- Pretend-Lack-of-Consent Warning</b> (with general roughness too, though there’s nothing in chapter 72 &amp; 73 that hasn’t already pretty much been in other chapters) </p><p><i>It might seem redundant to say at this point too but just to clarify: the version of Ryan that I write is one that I deliberately consider to be ‘Fictional Ryan’, meaning that whilst strong similarities to his real self remain in my fic (appearance/lifestyle/some personality traits/etc), he is obviously not the man he is IRL. I feel as though this part might cut a little too close to the mark (if I haven’t already with other chapters), but I promise you, Fic Ryan is actually a good person. If you’re still here at this point, you probably understand all of this already and thank you. </i> ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>They were hovering, I could tell. The others had left the office except for Jeremy and Matt who were still working quietly in the side office, their headsets on and in full concentration mode. I glanced at Ryan, who was standing by the door with a slight smile on his face as he watched me pack up my stuff and stand up from my chair, my nerves suddenly flitting around within me. I looked at Geoff uncertainly, who was pulling his car key out of his jeans’ pocket.</p><p>“So…uh…” I stammered a little, already feeling the slight blush rise on my cheeks because I knew they were going to spring the plan on me as soon as we left the building. “What about Rex? Who’s gonna take care of him?”</p><p>“Gavin and Meg have it covered,” Geoff shrugged. “They’ve taken quite a liking to him.” </p><p>They observed me walking out of the office as they followed me closely, muttering about something that I couldn’t hear, but as soon as I stepped outside Geoff took my arm and led me over to his car. He wasn’t rough and his grip wasn’t that tight, but it did surprise me as I went with it and watched as he unlocked his silver Audi. </p><p>“I’d get in if I were you,” he said with a charming smile, opening the back door and gesturing. </p><p>“Or what?” I asked, wondering at what point they wanted me to start to resist. I guessed now was as good a time as any, though we couldn’t be too loud in the parking lot of our place of work. </p><p>Ryan cast me an amused look. “Just get in.”</p><p>“Y’know, I don’t normally get into a car with two total strangers,” I replied, getting into character a little and pretending I had no idea who either of these men were. “But since you asked so nicely,” I finished sarcastically, climbing in anyway.</p><p>Unable to hide his smirk now, Geoff walked around the car to pop the trunk and handed Ryan something that was out of my eye line as I sat on the comfy cream leather seating. I hoped my jeans wouldn’t mark it.</p><p>What on earth had I agreed to? It was lucky I trusted them both, because the butterflies were still going around and around in my stomach in a mixture of apprehension and slight excitement hidden deep down while I twisted my fingers together self-consciously.</p><p>Geoff sat in the driver’s seat of course, but as he started the engine, Ryan sat in the back beside me and reached immediately for my wrists with the familiar length of silky black rope. His touch was gentle as he wound it and secured them together, but then I was sitting relatively still since complying came so naturally to me at this point. </p><p>Remembering the role-play a second later, I pretended to be confused. “Why are you tying my hands together?” I tested the binds, trying to pull my hands apart by force before wriggling them a little to absolutely no avail.</p><p>“So you don’t try to escape,” Ryan answered immediately before finishing up and pulling my seatbelt across me, fastening it with a click. I realised that with my wrists tied up on my lap, I couldn’t reach to remove said seatbelt, rendering me entirely stuck now.</p><p>“But…you’re just taking me home, right?” I said innocently, looking angelically at Ryan. Part of me actually thought they were going to do this because if they were taking me somewhere new I would need supplies. A fresh change of clothes for after, showering stuff, a toothbrush. The only thing was, we were already heading in the opposite direction of my flat.</p><p>“Not so much,” Geoff replied from the front as he accelerated. </p><p>“Hold still,” Ryan said as he lifted a silk blindfold to my eyes, intending to blot out any vision or idea I had of where we were going. </p><p>“Wait, no-“ I squirmed a bit as I came to terms with the fact that we definitely weren’t stopping by my flat in any way, shape or form. Maybe they had prepared for this?</p><p>“Hold still or I stop being so nice,” Ryan instructed firmly, stroking his fingers along my jawline as if to make a point. </p><p>So I did, my nerves rising a notch. Because I didn’t have a car due to living so close to work and basically every amenity I could ever need, I barely knew the roads within Austin, let alone outside of the city. Taking a deep breath, I was quickly realising just how much trust this kind of role-play required because I would have no out and no escape if I didn’t know where the hell I was. Then again, there was always the safe word.</p><p>“You’re not going to hurt me, right?” I asked with feigned worry in my voice as though I didn’t want them to. </p><p>“Not if you do as you’re told,” Geoff replied lightly as I felt the car pull to a brief stop. Thankful for the tinted windows in the back of the car, I wondered what we would have done if they weren’t. The general public driving by glancing over to see a blindfolded woman in a car with two men was bound to raise some questions.</p><p>“What do you want with me?”</p><p>“So many questions,” Ryan chuckled. “Do you always talk this much when you’re in the club?”</p><p>“The…club?” I frowned.</p><p>“The strip club you work at,” Geoff elaborated with a slight laugh. “We’ve seen you there. You caught our attention on account of how much of a desperate slut you looked while you accepted those dollar bills last night.”</p><p>I gawped for a minute, totally speechless. They had created a whole goddamn backstory for me, one I was now supposed to go along with. Well…I was always up for  improvising, I supposed.</p><p>“You could have just paid for a private session if you wanted to see and feel me totally naked that badly,” I said with some challenge in my voice. </p><p>“I have a feeling some of the dirty things we wanna do to you wouldn’t fly in that club, angel,” Ryan answered, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. “Especially since as soon as we pulled out anything sharp you’d go running scared to the bouncer.” </p><p>“Sharp?” I breathed innocently as I felt the car make a right. “Like a knife?” </p><p>Perhaps I sounded slightly too hopeful, because Geoff immediately responded to the affliction in my voice with teasing.</p><p>“Maybe she wants us to hurt her,” he laughed to Ryan, who stroked a hand softly through my hair before gripping it tight and yanking my head back a bit with it. This elicited a slight whine from me.</p><p>“Is that true?” he murmured, sending a thrill of arousal through me. “Do you actually <em>want</em> us to hurt you?”</p><p>“No,” I lied with a gasp, “just…let me go, please…?”</p><p>“Fuckin’ good little actress, too,” Geoff remarked with clear amusement as we pulled up god knows’ where and he shut off the engine. “Or maybe she’s just a good little liar.”</p><p>“We’ll see,” Ryan replied ominously as I heard them both climb out of the car and then open my car door. </p><p>Blindly, I allowed them to lead me up what might have been a driveway by my bound wrists, the click of the unlocking of a door reaching my ears before one of them pulled me through the doorway, but not before warning me to step up over the threshold.</p><p>“Staircase,” Ryan warned as I walked steadily forward with his hand still on my arm. I tugged against him but he merely gripped tighter. “This will be easier if you don’t struggle.”</p><p>Totally in character now, I growled back, “Fuck you.”</p><p>Obviously caught by surprise, Geoff chuckled as we reached the top and entered into a room. “She’s gonna be difficult.”</p><p>“Lucky she’s got nowhere to run,” Ryan said, pushing me forwards roughly by the small of my back and causing me to fall directly down onto a bed, landing on my side. The duvet smelled fresh and pleasant, like the sheets had been made recently. I’d become increasingly aware of the way in which they were talking about me like I wasn’t there too, something which I’d confessed before to liking for reasons I couldn’t figure out.</p><p>The blindfold was yanked off, leaving me to squint around the bedroom as my eyes accustomed to the light. I wasn’t wearing my short red skirt but instead jeans and a t-shirt, yet I still felt vulnerable as all hell.</p><p>“Where are we?” I asked with genuine curiosity because I had never been in here in my life. </p><p>“Some friends I know are on vacation,” Geoff replied, sounding genuine for a moment. “They didn’t mind me borrowing the place.”</p><p>I sat up with difficulty, rolling onto my back and then using my abdominal muscles to sit up without the help of my useless tied hands. Ryan approached around the side of the bed and made to grab at my bounds but I gently kicked out a foot in resistance. </p><p>“Did you just try to fucking kick me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>“Yeah, I did,” I replied defiantly, making to shuffle and slide off of the bed with the intention to leave the room and knowing I would make it precisely zero steps. He watched as I landed on my feet and took a step towards the door before shaking his head and grabbing me around my middle to slam me back down onto the mattress. </p><p>“That’s it bitch, no more playing nice,” Ryan smirked, pinning me easily as I writhed beneath him. “Geoff, fucking tie her up before she tries to kick me again.”</p><p>Immediately I felt the other man drag my wrists up over my head and tie them to the iron headboard. </p><p>“Fucking-get-off-of-me,” I panted, deliberately giving Ryan a run for his money on holding me down while I struggled because I knew he would only apply more force and we would both love it. Once I couldn’t move my wrists, his hand closed around my throat.</p><p>“Keep. Still.” His blue eyes bored into mine as I stared back up at him, trying to resist the urge to just give in to him and Geoff entirely. I wanted to submit, but I guess that was part of the game - submitting would be out of character. At least…for now.</p><p>“I’ll scream,” I threatened.</p><p>Geoff chuckled, untying my Converse and pulling off my socks too, one by one. “Yeah, you will. But nobody’s gonna hear you.”</p><p>“People will look for me, like my sister,” I said as I watched his tattooed hands reach into a duffel bag down by the bed.</p><p>Ryan was pressing considerably hard on my throat now as his fingers locked tighter around my neck. “Nobody knows where you are.”</p><p>“Please,” I rasped in a sort of strangled voice, watching Geoff fold his colourful arms to my right where he stood by the bed, “don’t kill me.”</p><p>“Are you going to do as you’re told?” Ryan demanded, not letting up as I struggled for breath.</p><p>“Yes,” I gasped, “fine, okay.”</p><p>He let go immediately and I took several deep breaths. “We’re not going to kill you, by the way. You’re too pretty.”</p><p>I noticed Ryan eying Geoff’s handiwork with the rope approvingly as I squirmed subtly in extreme arousal that I tried to hide by scowling at the pair of them.</p><p>“You don’t look like you’re having much fun, sweetheart,” Geoff grinned as Ryan climbed off of me. “Maybe you’ll feel more at home wearing less clothing, since that’s your day job.” His hands went to the fly of my jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping before dragging them down my legs and off completely. </p><p>Playfully, I resisted once again but this actually only aided him in getting them off me faster. </p><p>“Nice legs,” he commented, stroking a hand up my left calf all the way up to my thigh with deliberate slowness while he looked me in the eyes. “Pass me some more rope.” He held out his left hand, clearly asking Ryan as he obliged him, leading to the securing of both of my ankles to the bed too.</p><p>“Get off,” I whined, spread-eagle and not really able to move at all now as I watched the two of them sit either side of me on the bed. “Don’t-“</p><p>Ryan ran several fingers up the inside of my other thigh, tantalisingly close to my crotch as I bit my lip in need. Instead he bypassed removing my panties and ran his palm up my shirt. In his other hand gleamed a pair of scissors, which he laid gently against my skin first.</p><p>A gasp issued from me because of how cold the steel was on my warm body. I watched as he pulled the t-shirt taut and cut through it easily, yanking it out from under me and tossing it to the side. He then took to my bra, cutting through the straps and the side and discarding that too.</p><p>“Hey, what the hell am I going to wear now?” I protested for real as I looked over at my mostly ruined pile of clothes on the floor.</p><p>“You won’t be needing them,” Geoff replied.</p><p>“But I will, after,“ I said, genuinely wondering this. We hadn’t stopped at my place, so how was I going to get home without a shirt? </p><p>“Shut up,” Ryan said quietly, his eyes dark as he ran a single finger down over my panties and provoked a moan that I was unable to stifle. “And since you’ve made these all wet now…”</p><p>Cutting through the last garment I’d been wearing, he tossed my now useless panties in the direction of the pile of torn clothing.</p><p>“God she’s sexy as fuck,” Geoff breathed, running his palm over my thigh and sliding his fingers along over my clit while I whimpered lightly. “And I’m pretty fuckin’ sure she’s starting to enjoy this.”</p><p>“No I’m not,” I replied stubbornly but my voice was lilted with desire as he probed a little deeper with two fingers now, stroking and caressing. </p><p>With a smirk, Ryan leaned down from my other side to kiss my cheek and around to my earlobe softly, his lips so close that he could very effectively taunt me. “Are you saying that that doesn’t feel so <em>goddamn</em> good right now?”</p><p>“I…” My eyes closed in pleasure. “I…”</p><p>Geoff stopped abruptly, withdrawing his fingers and watching as I glanced between them desperately. “That’s a yes. Do you wanna fuck the whore first or can I?”</p><p>With a small chuckle Ryan sat back up, running a hand back through his hair. “You can in a few minutes.” He reached over for the bag and pulled something else out. “I think I want to hurt her a bit first.”</p><p>“What? No!” I squirmed as much as I was able to because he had slid out a silver stainless steel kitchen knife. It was a smaller one, like the kind you would cut vegetables with, but it looked no less deadly as I gazed with wide eyes of fake reluctance and false fear.</p><p>Hot damn if I wasn’t just Oscar-worthy.</p><p>“Sadistic bastard,” Geoff muttered, though he was smiling slightly because he knew how much we enjoyed this play.</p><p>“You make this more trouble than you’re worth and we can find some other slut to play with,” Ryan said in a dangerous tone because I wouldn’t stop wriggling, pressing the flat side of the cold steel to my abdomen and causing me to freeze. “Although now you’ve seen who we are, we’ll have to cut your throat and dump your body first. And that would be a real shame, because you're real cute.”</p><p>Okay, call me sick and twisted if you like, but for some reason all of this only heightened my arousal. Perhaps it was the comfort net in the back of my mind that knew that not one bit of this was real and that these two men would never truly hurt me, but right now I was burning for them more than ever. Never in a million years would I be aroused if my life was actually on the line and yet somehow, he was making serial-killer sexy.</p><p>Even Geoff raised his eyebrows a little at Ryan for this comment, but said nothing in direct response to it. </p><p>“Okay,” I whimpered, pretending to comply despite already being completely willing. “Okay, okay.”</p><p>The more tattooed man of the two smiled and returned his fingers to my aching, soaked pussy as Ryan drew the knife slowly across my stomach, applying minimal pressure. Still, I let out a gentle moan in response to the mixed signals my body was getting. He repeated this again, a little harder every time as the feeling of the blade felt more and more sharp on my flesh. Still, Geoff’s fingers circled and stroked over my clit, contrasting the pain.</p><p>I sucked in a breath as the next scratch felt like more of a cut despite drawing no blood, but Ryan only eyed my reaction before continuing, regarding this blade pressure as the most I would tolerate and keeping on with it. All the same, whimpers were falling from my open mouth from this and Geoff’s fingers, any semblance of playful resistance temporarily gone from my mind. </p><p>“Look how obedient she suddenly is,” Geoff commented, moving his fingers away yet again. Holding them to my lips, he looked at me expectantly. “Come on slut. I know you probably like the taste of your own pussy.”</p><p>Compliantly I sucked on his digits until they were clean, noticing that Ryan had stopped drawing the knife across my skin to watch. </p><p>“Good girl,” Geoff praised quietly with a smile when I’d finished. He reached to retrieve something else from the bag; the purple chain to which two alligator nipple clamps were attached - one of my favourite bedroom toys. </p><p>“Oh god,” was all I said as he leaned to fasten them in place swiftly before tugging lightly on the chain to make sure they were tight enough. The slight stinging caused me to groan a bit while he sat back to admire me.</p><p>Holding the knife away from my body now that my torso was covered in pink scratch lines and a few red ones that would take longer to fade, Ryan met my eyes with a smirk.</p><p>“Bet you really want to be fucked right now, huh?” he asked, making me wonder for a moment if they were finally going to give me what I needed. I then realised this would not be happening yet when Geoff pulled out the long leather paddle.</p><p>“Not by you,” I replied insolently, because I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction just yet. </p><p>Seeming to be enjoying the challenge, they glanced at one another before Ryan put down the knife and not-so-much to my surprise, began to unbind my ankles. </p><p>“You’re pretty mouthy for someone who lacks any kind of control right now,” he mused aloud as I wriggled again slightly.</p><p>“That won’t last long,” Geoff promised me with a wink while Ryan assisted me in turning over. </p><p>They had allowed enough of a length of rope between the iron headboard and my wrists to enable me to twist from laying on my back to kneeling, though I was forced to bend over forwards and lean on my forearms, something I was quite sure they had done on purpose. One of them smoothed their hands over my ass, but I was unable to lean to see who in this position. </p><p>“Oh she wants us so <em>bad</em>,” Ryan commented softly, making me realise they were his palms on my butt while he stroked down to make me part my legs a bit. </p><p>“Well she’s a slut,” Geoff answered. “All this attention is probably just turning her on more and more.”</p><p>For a few seconds, neither of them touched me. Then I felt the hard smack of the paddle against my flesh and yelped a little, despite having predicted it. </p><p>“You’re a stubborn bitch, right?” Ryan asked, obviously speaking to me as Geoff landed another smack. “This will stop when you beg us to fuck you.”</p><p>Well if that was the game then I wanted to play this out for as long as possible. “Never.”</p><p>“I doubt it’ll be never,” he replied smugly and I felt something cold and metallic against the skin of my back. It wasn’t the knife this time but the two-pronged scratcher, another one of our favourite bedroom toys. He started off by lightly tracing along my back, almost tickling me. </p><p>“You’re both psychos.” I smirked because they couldn’t see my face as Geoff continued to paddle me to a steady pace.</p><p>The scratcher on my back was pressed on harder, highly likely now leaving trails in its wake as Ryan decided I was being too bold and needed more pain. Without meaning to I moaned, because all of it - despite hurting - was only sending electricity directly to my crotch. </p><p>“Well you’re the slut who dances in front of people whilst nearly naked for money,” Geoff said lightly, not letting up as I felt my ass cheeks warm from the repeated assault. </p><p>“At least I don’t hurt people,” I gasped, struggling to pretend now that I wasn’t enjoying their dominance of me. </p><p>Raking the scratcher down my back yet again, harder than ever now, Ryan chuckled. “And yet you love it.” I felt him reach under me from the side to tug delicately on the chain connecting the two nipple clamps I was still adorning. “Why don’t you start begging for dick like I know you want to? Or do you want us to hurt you some more first?”</p><p>There was no answer to this that didn’t sound like I was just giving in and giving up the game, so instead I said nothing. Which I should have realised was a mistake. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. Lace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. The direct continuation of chapter 72.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>- Explicit Content Warning</b> (until about halfway down)<br/><b>- Pretend-Lack-of-Consent Warning</b> (with general roughness too, though there’s nothing in chapter 72 &amp; 73 that hasn’t already pretty much been in other chapters)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Pulling hard on the alligator clamps’ chain, Ryan forced a noise out of me that sounded somewhere between a whine and a moan. The stinging combined with the pressure hurt, but nowhere near unbearably.</p><p>“I asked you a question,” he chided quietly as I began to wince at the amount my ass was burning now. “Fucking answer it.”</p><p>My eyes closed and my mouth open a little, I clutched at the sheets beneath my bound wrists in a mixture of sheer arousal and oddly pleasant pain, the euphoria of feeling so used by two men that I loved and trusted and whom I knew reciprocated those feelings overwhelming me for a moment. </p><p>“Please fuck me.” My words were quiet, but as Geoff halted, he leaned a little nearer to me, pressing his jeaned crotch against my ass. He was undoubtably hard as hell, but as he gripped my sore butt he laughed a little.</p><p>“What was that? Did she say something?” He asked Ryan, who raised an eyebrow at me from my right where he was kneeling on the bed, still holding the scratcher. </p><p>“Please,” I whimpered, instinctively pressing myself back into Geoff a little. “Please fuck me.”</p><p>“There’s a good girl,” he smirked, giving my ass one final slap with his hand before I heard the unmistakeable sound of him unzipping his fly. But while he pressed his erection against my wet pussy, his fingers were sliding tellingly over my other hole.</p><p>“Geoff-“ I breathed, following his thought process immediately and suddenly becoming a little nervous again, “gently.”</p><p>He didn’t reply, but I knew he would heed my request anyway. The next sensation on my skin was cold liquid lubricant, which he began to use to slide two fingers into my ass while Ryan watched, able to partially see what Geoff was doing whilst also able to see my face because he had moved somewhat.</p><p>“Go real slow,” Ryan warned him softly, but I found that he already was giving me enough time for my body to adjust as he worked another finger in, the lubricant both cooling and easing the intrusion. </p><p>“Pass me that,” Geoff said to Ryan, gesturing to something I couldn’t see right before I felt something very cold and hard press gently against my asshole. “Relax, baby.” </p><p>I did so, realising now that he was holding the toy that Ryan had used on me a while back. He was gentle and allowed me to get used to it, inching it in deeper with each entry before pushing it all of the way in. The smooth glass was soothing but unyielding, not that big in diameter but arguably definitely big enough for a hole I didn’t normally have penetrated.</p><p>Then he pushed himself into my pussy slowly too, causing me to gasp at the feeling of such fullness. I caught sight of Ryan’s face which appeared smug as he met my eyes.</p><p>“Huh,” he said with a smirk, clearly liking Geoff’s idea. “Look at you looking all hot with both your holes filled.” </p><p>“I…oh…god…” I bit my lip as Geoff began to carefully thrust, obviously aware of how tight I was now and not wanting to hurt me in this position. But in truth it felt fucking amazing. </p><p>In a way, I wished it could have been the both of them inside of me at once rather than one of them and the toy, but I knew that trying to do that would result in the most awkward of positions that I wasn’t even sure would be physically possible for us as a trio. Some sexual positions were much more physically strenuous than fit porn stars sometimes made them look. Not only that, but it would involve them both being awfully physically <em>close</em> and I had no idea if they would be comfortable with that.</p><p>I moaned louder as Geoff went a little harder, his still-slick hand resting on my ass cheek and his other holding the toy still inside me. While this was happening, Ryan took it upon himself to undress within my eye line, his hand gripping his cock once naked as he slowly worked it whilst watching me get fucked. </p><p>With absolute need, I whimpered at the sight of him and felt Geoff increase his speed a little, though I highly doubted it was for the same reason.</p><p>It wasn’t long before Ryan reached to untie my wrists which surprised me, but I quickly understood why he had done this - it gave us more room and put me in a better position on hands and knees rather than resting on my forearms with my ass in the air. </p><p>“Open up,” he commanded, watching me submissively take his dick into my mouth with frankly very little choice because he had all of the control right now. Not that I would have said no to him if he’d asked.</p><p>From behind me, Geoff groaned in pleasure. “Maybe you should choke her for all the talking back she’s done.”</p><p>“Oh I’m gonna,” Ryan answered, still going easy on me to begin with before he took a tight handful of my hair and gazed down at me. “Bet it’s not the first time for her either, the little whore.”</p><p>And then I couldn’t breathe, but instead of going into panic mode like the human body was designed to do, I overrode it mentally and relaxed, the bliss of everything that was happening to me causing me to close my eyes in complete pleasure. There was a pause where only the sounds of Geoff fucking me could be heard.</p><p>“Open your eyes, angel,” Ryan smiled down at me after several seconds, waiting for me to obey. </p><p>I did so, looking up at him through my lashes and feeling him free up my throat to afford me a few breaths before repeating.</p><p>“I know you can’t say the safe word while you’re all stuffed like this, so just tap my leg instead if you need to,” he continued, surprising me with his sudden drop of our role-play in order to take care of me.</p><p>“Good thought,” Geoff panted approvingly from behind me, still pounding into me. “Fuck she’s so goddamn <em>tight</em>.”</p><p>I made an affirmative noise of grateful acknowledgement, despite having no intent to stop anything. This melded into a moan though because I could tell from the way Geoff was thrusting harder and faster now, that he was getting close.</p><p>Ryan bit his bottom lip in pleasure as he watched me get fucked and simultaneously suck his cock at the same time, my balance all on one arm as I used my hand to aid this. I knew by now exactly what he liked best and my control of my gag reflex was getting better on every occasion he choked me, something which he did repeatedly.</p><p>“You’re amazing,” he gasped to me, because I was facilitating him fucking my throat, something that wasn’t all that easy to do.</p><p>“Goddamn she’s a dirty bitch,” Geoff growled, obviously watching this as he reached his climax with a groan and dug his fingernails into my ass hard before finally pulling out.</p><p>Ryan smirked and met my eyes. “Yeah, she is.” His dick left my mouth with a gentle pop before he shifted to move behind me in place of Geoff. </p><p>“Roll over,” Geoff said breathlessly to me. </p><p>I did so immediately, desperately hoping they were going to give me some relief now as Ryan pushed several pillows under my ass in order to boost my hips up a little. At first I wondered why he did this, but as with everything these two did they seemed to have a plan.</p><p>“Lift up your legs,” Ryan instructed with desire in his eyes, watching me go along with this and shuffle to position myself as he wanted. Slowly, he eased the glass toy out of my ass and placed it aside on a paper towel atop the nightstand before pushing himself slowly into my pussy.</p><p>“I’m sure a naughty girl like you has used one of these before,” Geoff said with a grin, distracting me by holding up a familiar small, purple, pebble-shaped vibrator while he half-laid beside me. As soon as he touched the buzzing toy to my clit, I was a mess.</p><p>“Mmm, that’s it,” Ryan breathed, his fingers gripping my thighs as he found his rhythm of thrusting. “Moan louder for us.”</p><p>Lost in the ecstasy, I didn’t even care how much I was sweating from the early evening’s activities. I didn’t care how covered in pink lines and scratches I was. I didn’t care how messed up my hair was. All I cared about right now was everything that I was feeling so intensely as I gripped the sheets beneath me with balled fists. Even though I was no longer being double-penetrated, Ryan was able to fuck me deeper at this angle.</p><p>“Looks like I found the right spot,” Geoff remarked with a smirk as he let the vibrator rest stationary on my clit now while I groaned and arched. “There’s a good girl…” He leaned close to kiss my jawline and up to my cheek affectionately.</p><p>Out of my mind with mounting pleasure, I met his eyes pleadingly as he smiled back at me. “Can I come? Please? Please Geoff?”</p><p>He chuckled, toying with the chain of the nipple clamps. “Sweetheart, you’re gonna come all over Ryan’s cock for me while he fucks you.” He pulled on it with one swift, hard motion. The clamps abruptly came free and left slight stinging in their wake, sending a rush of fire through me.</p><p>Ryan groaned as I lost it, hitting my orgasm sharply at those words combined with how hard I was being thrusted into and the sudden released pressure on my nipples. I writhed helplessly as Geoff fought me a little to keep the toy pressed to my pussy, knowing it was both torturous and incredibly good at the same time. Both of their names fell out of my mouth on repeat as I whimpered and finally came slowly down from it while Ryan reached his own climax shortly afterwards. </p><p>A comfortable silence followed as I took several deep breaths and Ryan withdrew while Geoff switched off the small vibrator and put it aside. As the former man flopped down on my free side, I felt the latter man trace a ring around my stomach with his fingers gently. </p><p>“You two and your fucking dirty talk,” I panted. “You always know the right things to say.”</p><p>“That’s because you’re filthy,” Geoff smirked in response, leaning to kiss my lips and still caressing my marked skin sensually. “Nearly anything we say is the right thing when you’re close.”</p><p>“Nice acting,” Ryan grinned sideways at me when Geoff pulled away to sit up and grab for the duffel bag. </p><p>“I try,” I smiled innocently, feeling a wave of tingly contentment wash over my body now. “By the way…you’ve ruined my underwear and shirt. What gives?” I would have sounded like I cared more, but right at this moment I might not have given a shit if they’d lit my clothes on fire. </p><p>“We did warn you,” Ryan replied lightly, his demeanour now entirely more relaxed and playful as he reached to stroke my cheek. “But you should know that Geoff stole a shirt from your place the other week for this exact occasion.” </p><p>I blinked, wondering how I hadn’t noticed anything going missing. Then again, I had a lot of t-shirts - one going astray was hardly going to raise alarm bells. I may not have even noticed for weeks. And Ryan had had the cheek to jokingly call me a thief.</p><p>“There’s stuff in here for you,” Geoff said, having climbed off of the bed to rummage in the bag the two had brought in with them.</p><p>Curiously, I shifted to sit up and see and realised that they had packed me a new toothbrush still in its packet, toothpaste, a folded up t-shirt, shower gel and shampoo, deodorant and even a hairbrush. Touched, I merely glanced back up at them without words.</p><p>“I figured we couldn’t just kidnap you without anything you need,” Ryan shrugged, sitting up too. “There’s underwear in there too…although…”</p><p>I grinned, pulling out what he meant. It wasn’t exactly my normal everyday smooth-cupped t-shirt bra and sensible panties. This set was black and lacy, adorned with ribbon and was frankly tiny. The most notable part of the panties however, was that they were <em>crotchless</em>. </p><p>“Alright, whose idea was this?” I asked, genuinely not sure as I looked between the two men beside me. </p><p>“Mine,” Geoff grinned. “I thought it would match your choker nicely.” </p><p>“You thought crotchless panties would match my choker?” I teased, examining the material. It was thin, almost sheer, though the lace helped to make it a little less-so. A black ribbon bow was tied at the back above the butt. </p><p>“No, the black theme smartass,” he said with a laugh.</p><p>“You are gonna look <em>good</em> in that tonight,” Ryan grinned.</p><p>“We’re not sleeping here though, right?” I asked with surprise because it was still early evening. “We all have work…” </p><p>“It’s <em>almost</em> like your boss booked all three of us a day off tomorrow,” Ryan smirked sarcastically. “Surprise.”</p><p>Caught a little off-guard, I laughed. “Seriously? So…we’re just gonna…hang out here and go home tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yeah, for one simple reason,” Geoff replied, his eyes sparkling. “We can have you walk around in just that underwear, collared and leashed, because nobody else will be around.”</p><p>“Except when we order food,” Ryan pointed out. “Then we’ll make you answer the door.”</p><p>My eyes widened, but already I could feel the excitement bubbling. “No but…what if…somebody recognises me?” </p><p>“So what?” Geoff grinned, folding his arms. “They'll have no proof.”</p><p>“You two are unbelievable,” I shook my head, unable to help the grin on my face as I reached to pick up the thoughtfully-packed amenities they had brought. “I’m going to go shower.”</p><p>“I’ll ring for pizza,” Ryan called back as I closed the bathroom door with a happy, satisfied and contented sigh and climbed into a warm shower.</p><p>***</p><p>By the time I climbed out of the shower, Geoff had redressed and was flicking through the television channels in the living room while Ryan clattered about in the kitchen getting drinks and plates.</p><p>Drying myself off, I picked up the new underwear that they’d left on the bed for me, examining it in order to put it on right. It was so delicate that as I shimmied into the panties I was careful about which bits I pulled on to get them into their proper position, before also fastening and adjusting the bra. With my leather choker reapplied too, I peered into the full-length mirror in the corner at myself, turning this way and that to check it all looked right. I was by no-means huge-chested but I had the kind of breasts that would be considered a ‘handful’ by men, giving me a decent cleavage to boot.</p><p>Padding downstairs and feeling pretty self-conscious for the first time tonight because I was in someone else’s house in only very skimpy and revealing underwear, I entered the living room to see both Ryan and Geoff with a diet Coke and Coke respectively, their eyes drifting to me upon my sudden appearance.</p><p>“Hey sexy,” Ryan smiled as I walked over to sit between them on the sofa and he extended his arm so that I could cuddle up to him a little. “How d’you feel?”</p><p>“Pretty good,” I grinned truthfully, aware that Geoff was still staring on my other side. Neither on them had bothered to put their jeans back on, sitting in only their boxer briefs and t-shirts. “You?”</p><p>“I’d say the same. How does your back and stomach feel?” Ryan glanced down at my still very reddened skin.</p><p>“The shower water kinda burned,” I giggled. “It was fine when I turned the temperature down a bit but you really scratched me up.”</p><p>“Aww, I’m sorry,” he smirked, but he didn’t sound or look it. </p><p>“I’ll kiss it better,” Geoff volunteered with a grin as he placed down his soda can and ran a hand softly over my torso. “You smell so fuckin’ good right now.”</p><p>Smiling, I neatened my damp hair with my fingers. “By the way…I’m a stripper now? Really?”</p><p>Slightly sheepishly I noticed, they exchanged a glance.</p><p>“It was the first thing we thought of,” Geoff shrugged. “And I’m not saying you are one or that you should be one, but if you ever decide to leave Rooster Teeth, I’m just letting you know you’d look fucking hot in a silver bikini with body glitter all over you.”</p><p>“<em>Geoffrey Lazer Ramsey</em>,” I scolded him jokingly while Ryan chuckled lightly. “I have other talents.”</p><p>“I know, you’re very talented,” he replied, “which is how I know you’ll be so great at it, up on that stage.” He grinned, purposefully winding me up and ducking away as I playfully went to hit him.</p><p>“Body glitter is kind of overrated,” Ryan commented, casting us an amused smile. “It would just…get everywhere.” </p><p>“I agree,” I nodded, remembering when I had innocently used it for a party as a teenager. It had wound up all over my tank top and jeans that night and had even found itself into places like my hair and eyebrows, with tiny almost microscopic shiny bits catching the light in various places in my house for a few weeks afterwards. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess,” I shrugged, eying Ryan because I knew how anal he could be about organisation and routine cleanliness. “Can you imagine if I got it all over you, Ry? In your hair, all over your clothes and arms-”</p><p>“I’d look like that goddamn Twilight vampire,” he rolled his eyes, clearly irritated by the thought of being covered in glitter.</p><p>“If you were a vampire Ryan, it would fuckin’ explain a lot,” Geoff said, swigging his Coke.</p><p>“I don’t…drink blood though,” Ryan raised an eyebrow bemusedly. </p><p>“You are really pale,” Geoff replied immediately. “And you’re kinda weird with killing things.”</p><p>“And,” I added, enjoying this, “You like biting my neck.”</p><p>“I haven’t killed anything in real life,” Ryan rolled his eyes, clearly realising we were ganging up on him. “And Geoff bites your neck as well, I’ve seen the marks. Does that make him a vampire too?”</p><p>I considered this. “Maybe you both are.”</p><p>With a goofy impression of Dracula, Geoff got a hold of me gently and pretended to hiss while I squirmed and laughed at him to get off. </p><p>“Noooo!” I squeaked as he managed to hold me still enough to lean down in what I had thought was going to be a bite to the neck as part of the joke, but actually turned into a soft kiss on my lips instead. “Mmfff,” I mumbled, caught off-guard but not resisting. </p><p>“I love you,” he murmured a moment later. “You’re perfect.”</p><p>Ryan squeezed me a little with his arm around me. “I do too.”</p><p>Blushing, I raised my eyebrows. “I…love you both too. And thanks… I am?”</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Ryan asked, gazing sideways at me. “You’re incredible.”</p><p>For a minute I said nothing, unsure how to take such a huge compliment despite how happy hearing it from these two men made me. Then I realised something unrelated. While I’d been wrapped up in this fantasy, Hanna would be wondering where the hell I was.</p><p>“My phone’s still in the car,” I said to Geoff, who was now stroking my thigh absently while he tried to find something for us to watch with the TV remote. “Can you get it for me? Hanna will be worried.”</p><p>“Yeah, in a minute,” he answered, settling on some thriller film I’d never seen before. “She knows you’re spending the night with us though.”</p><p>“Oh, did you tell her?” I asked curiously. </p><p>“She knows you’re safe,” Geoff assured me. “She’s at Todd’s tonight anyway. Hey, when she moves in to her new place does she want help moving her stuff?”</p><p>“I’m sure she would appreciate that if she had any stuff,” I sighed with a smile. “She came with a suitcase and some bags when she fled from her ex. She’s planning on starting from scratch, I think.”</p><p>“Does she have the money to immediately just buy all new furniture?” Ryan asked bluntly. </p><p>Hanna’s new flat viewing - that I had missed out on due to work - had gone well with her deciding it was perfect, but it was obviously mostly empty. It came with things like a stove, cupboards and counters and a bathroom of course, but everything else she would have to fork out for such as a sofa, chairs, a microwave, a bed…the list went on.</p><p>“Her job pays pretty well, I think she’s fine,” I shrugged. “But maybe I should ask her to have a flat warming party. She can invite people she’s met, I can invite you guys and some of the other guys from work she likes and we can not invite my deadbeat dad and controlling mother.”</p><p>Geoff chuckled, looking me in the eyes. “That might be a good idea.”</p><p>“Wait, did you say deadbeat dad? Your dad’s around?” Ryan cocked an eyebrow. </p><p>Oh. It was at this point that I realised that while I’d explained to Geoff briefly about Christmas Day, I hadn’t explained it to Ryan yet purely on account of it slipping my mind.  </p><p>“Yeah, I found out my dad lives in Austin and has been dating my mom again for a while now,” I shrugged. “And I have two half sisters from his marriage to some other woman that he was with for nearly all my life. They’re twins and they seem to hate me already.”</p><p>Ryan looked taken aback, especially when I elaborated about the events of Christmas and how my mother wished for us all to hug and make up and basically be a nuclear family. </p><p>“So he lives in Austin, huh?” he asked after a few seconds. “Are you…okay? I’d be furious that he didn’t show up sooner. You’ve said before he just walked out on you and never came back.”</p><p>“Yep,” I said. It had frustrated me and irritated me at the time, but ultimately I liked my life the way it was and had no desire to start getting to know a man who would do that or act like that. “My mom is crazy.”</p><p>“She is a challenging person,” Ryan said hesitantly, clearly trying not to be directly disrespectful for my benefit, though I wouldn’t have cared. “I’m not sure I could meet her again and remain civil, after last time.”</p><p>“I kinda want to meet your dad and mom,” Geoff grinned. “I feel like I’d have a lot of questions for them.”</p><p>“You’re not meeting my dad,” I replied bluntly. “Either of you. Besides, he’s literally a stranger to me; you’d learn nothing about me from him.”</p><p>“I’d ask him why the fuck he walked out on you, your sister and your mom,” Ryan said in a low voice. “As a father, that fucks me off. But that’s not my place, it’s yours. Did you ask him?”</p><p>“At Christmas dinner? No, funnily enough I didn’t,” I laughed. “It was already awkward enough without that conversation.”</p><p>Geoff got up to retrieve my satchel bag from his car with my phone, purse and other personal effects in it. As he carried it back in, I noticed he was holding my leash too which must have been in his trunk. <br/>I eyed it as he dropped my bag down by the coffee table and then sat back down beside me on the sofa, clipping the leash to my choker promptly.</p><p>“You guys didn’t mean it when you said I was gonna answer the door for the pizza in this, did you?” I asked, biting my lip and shuffling because I was so scantily-clad. </p><p>“<em>I</em> meant it,” Ryan smirked, “but hey, it’s up to you.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. Flirt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. You spend the evening in your new underwear and Ryan gets a call that surprises you.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>Disclaimer: Entirely fictional Laurie (obviously) with no implications to anything real, once again. In no way do I believe this is/was really the relationship between her and Ryan. Just throwing that out there.</i>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I thought for a moment about what he had just said, watching as Geoff stretched out and put his feet up on the coffee table, the other end of my leash wrapped loosely around his hand as he drank from his soda can again.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll do it,” I decided shyly. “But you’re paying for the pizza. And the tip.”</p><p>“Of course,” Geoff smiled charmingly. “I’ll make sure you give him a really <em>big</em> tip.”</p><p>“<em>Geoff!</em>” I rolled my eyes, unable to help myself laughing at his humour. “What if it’s a woman?”</p><p>“The room service in LA was a woman and you didn’t seem to mind,” Geoff replied, always one with the answers. “Be honest: you don't care who it actually is as long as you never see them again, right?”</p><p>He was correct. “I guess.” I reached to check my phone, noticing that I had messages from Hanna, Mom and Meg. I replied accordingly but hesitated on Meg’s, because she was inviting me over for a game night again sometime. The fact that she had also cheerily put ‘bring Rye-bread too!’ on the end of the text made me sigh a little. </p><p>Passing him my phone for him to read it for himself, I waited for his response. He scanned it and then looked at me questioningly. </p><p>“Well…I know…how sensitive things are in that department,” I said slowly by way of explanation, pulling a face. “I mean…would that be okay?”</p><p>Ryan smiled bemusedly. “I’m not banning you from hanging out with Meg…you can hang out with her whenever you want, it’s your choice. And I have no problem with us going over again as long as you don’t start making out with her on the couch. Do that and I might have a problem.” </p><p>“I’d have no problem with that,” Geoff said with a cheeky grin, causing Ryan to glare at him. </p><p>There was a pause in which I deduced that Geoff wasn’t joking, but this only amused me as I messaged Meg back to let her know that we were up for it whenever she was free. </p><p>“Hey, you did remember to give this address and not your own when you ordered the pizza, right?” Geoff asked Ryan lightly.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m not an idiot.”</p><p>I couldn’t help but think about how funny it would have been if he had done this by accident. When I voiced this, Ryan raised an eyebrow at me as Geoff snickered.</p><p>“Do you really think I would do that?” Ryan asked, amused and his tone almost challenging.</p><p>“Maybe,” I giggled. “There’s a reason we have an ‘I Don’t Do Words Good’ shirt.”</p><p>“So you don’t think you’ve been punished enough tonight and now you’re being sassy with me?” he said playfully, causing a blush to rise onto my cheeks. “If you’re not careful I’ll put you across my lap. And don’t think I won’t, I’ll do it.”</p><p>“Oh I know you would,” I grinned with no doubt in my mind as I cheekily responded. “But at least wait until we’ve eaten, <em>Daddy</em>.”</p><p>“Don’t start with me,” Ryan warned me with a dark smile as Geoff broke into fresh laughter.</p><p>A knock at the door rang out. Having had time to come to terms with what I was about to do I held my hand out to Geoff, who passed me enough dollar bills to cover the food plus a generous tip. Tugging a little on my leash before removing it from my choker, he met my eyes and impishly uttered one word:</p><p>“Fetch.”</p><p>I stuck my tongue out at him and climbed to my feet, making sure to saunter out of the room and into the hall in order to give the pair of them a great view of my ass in these lacy panties. They had followed I noticed, though only to the living room doorway and still out of sight of the front door. </p><p>Taking a deep breath and opening it, there stood a young man who looked remarkably like Jeremy except taller and with glasses. He began to list off the pizzas we had ordered and when he’d finished this, he looked up and abruptly stopped talking mid-sentence as he took in my appearance.</p><p>Perfect, especially since I was feeling mischievous now. </p><p>“Thanks,” I smiled at him, leaning forward to take the pizzas and making sure to give him a clear view of my obvious cleavage. I handed them sideways to Geoff, who took them from me and continued to watch with curiosity. Ryan was standing with his arms folded, looking at me intently. “Hey and y’know, because you’re just so <em>good</em> at your job,” I simpered to the now blushing delivery guy, “I’ve thrown in an extra big tip for you.”</p><p>“Uh- t-thanks,” he grinned nervously, clearly trying ridiculously hard not to just stare at my breasts. “Your total is…uh…I forgot, hang on.” He fumbled for his little notepad. </p><p>“That’s okay, you take your time,” I said forwardly, clasping my hands together down in front of my crotch and drawing his attention there immediately. It was a good thing that Ryan and Geoff were out of his sight because they definitely would have scared this timid guy off immediately. </p><p>“Oh uhm, twenty-eight dollars eighty,” he finally said quietly, making an adorable effort to look me in the eyes instead of anywhere south of there. </p><p>“Thank you cutie pie, you have a great night!” I beamed, handing over the money and watching him count it before winking at him. </p><p>“I…I will, thanks,” he grinned sheepishly, almost falling over his own feet as he turned to walk away. I shut the door.</p><p>“Okay, she wasn’t like <em>that</em> in LA when she answered the door,” Geoff grinned, chuckling as Ryan raised an eyebrow at me.</p><p>“Wow, you really played that out, huh?” he asked, not really seeming annoyed so much as slightly surprised. “<em>Cutie pie?</em>”</p><p>Geoff set the pizzas down on the coffee table and opened the boxes as the hot, fresh dough smell wafted to us. “I don’t know where your confidence suddenly comes from, but you definitely enjoyed that.”</p><p>“Maybe I did a little, he was cute. He reminded me of Jeremy,” I said without thinking, leaning to take a slice of what was obviously my pizza because it was spiciness-free with no chillis or jalapeños. It took me a moment to realise that I was being stared at. “What?”</p><p>Looking amused, Geoff tilted his head a little. “You think Jeremy’s cute?”</p><p>“Well yeah,” I shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”</p><p>“Does he know?” he continued and I realised at this point he wasn’t going to let this go.</p><p>“No, course he doesn’t know,” I frowned. “He’s in a committed relationship and so am I. Admitting it would be pointless. I don’t plan to act on it.”</p><p>“So…Meg…Jeremy…anyone else?” Ryan asked lightly, though I only had to glance at his face to notice that while he was hiding his words under a guise of joking, he was seriously actually asking me the question. </p><p>Deciding now to just wind him up, I carried on. “Well Trey’s pretty hot. Oh and Matt. And Caleb. Not to mention Jack, he really gets me going. Oh god and Lindsay, she’s gorgeous. And Michael, holy fuck-“</p><p>“Okay I get it,” he chuckled. “I was just curious.” </p><p>I paused, watching as he took a huge bite of his own pizza. “Aw, is Ry-Ry getting all jealous again?” I teased him. </p><p>“No, ‘Ry-Ry’ realises that you having crushes doesn’t mean anything because you’re with him and Geoff,” Ryan replied plainly, his sentence slightly muffled from his mouth being full of food, but he met my eyes and I could tell he meant it.</p><p>“That’s very mature of you, Ryan,” Geoff commented in a commending tone before being the complete opposite. “I’m totally gonna tell Jeremy you have a crush on him, [Y/N].”</p><p>“You’d better fucking not,” I said forcefully.</p><p>“Hm, you might need to persuade me not to,” Geoff smirked, giving me a look as he seized the opportunity to blackmail me for sexual favours.</p><p>“Yeah and while you’re at it, you’re gonna pay for how hard you flirted at the door,” Ryan grinned. “That pizza guy is going to have a great time with his hand over you later. He’s gonna have dreams about you. You’re probably his ideal woman now.”</p><p>I burst into giggles, trying not to choke on my food at the same time like a dork. “Yeah, he seemed pretty receptive, but that was all your faults, both of you. Also…” I paused, looking properly at at what was in Ryan’s hands for the first time. “Is that…pineapple…? On pizza?”</p><p>A brief pause ensued as he merely continued to chew with amusement on his features while Geoff glanced across at him too.</p><p>“Ugh, that’s…that’s just…wrong,” I mumbled in disgust. “Don’t bring fruit near my pizza, ever.”</p><p>“It’s great,” Ryan defended. “You’ve got the sweet mixed with the salty.”</p><p>“Okay, but no,” I countered. “I don’t want my pizza to be sweet.”</p><p>“Because you’re sweet enough, right?” Geoff grinned, making a terrible joke that caused Ryan to chuckle and groan ‘booo’ before digging his buzzing phone out of his pocket.</p><p>“You’re a doof,” I told Geoff as he laughed, the both of us paying no attention to the phone call conversation happening beside us for several moments. </p><p>“Yeah. Okay no, I-“ Ryan stopped speaking, listening as someone on the other end of the phone spoke for several seconds. “I’m busy tonight, Laurie, I-“ Another pause until she had finished talking again. “I said I’m busy, call Jamie. She’ll babysit…” At this point, he got up off of the sofa and walked into the kitchen.</p><p>I raised my eyebrows at Geoff as he continued to eat and seemed to make nothing of this. </p><p>“He’d better not disappear on me tonight,” I said quietly, wondering what was going on. With sheer curiosity I tiptoed to the kitchen doorway to listen, aware that Geoff was judging me for this very openly, though to this credit, silently. </p><p>“…look, you know I do my best but I can’t always just drop everything-“ Ryan had his back turned to me as he stood leaning on the countertop. “I know you think your job is more important than mine, but I have a life, Laurie. It’s not my fault that Jamie is busy!”</p><p>Frowning slightly, I tilted my head. I could hear the firm voice of a woman very clearly down the phone because the room was so quiet. </p><p>“No, stop, I’m gonna hang up if you keep talking to me like that,” Ryan said in a low voice that I recognised to be the one he used on the edge of anger. “We’re not married, you can’t control me like this any more. Do not fucking tell me that I don’t care about our kids!”</p><p>I flinched, my eyes round as saucers as even Geoff heard this comment from his position nearby on the sofa. He beckoned me over to him, but I didn’t move. </p><p>“You do this every time,” Ryan continued. “You love to act like I’m the one who is and was all controlling during our marriage but you never stop with your emotional manipulation! …no, Laurie… What about your mom? Oh, I know you think I’m passing the responsibility, <em>believe me-</em>” </p><p><em>‘Come here,’</em> Geoff mouthed to me, the both of us painfully aware that Ryan probably wouldn’t want us to be hearing this.</p><p>“-and you act so nice to everyone around you, but to me, you act like this! And I put up with it Laurie, I put up with it for years,” Ryan spoke through what sounded like gritted teeth. He shifted his weight a little and for one heart-stopping moment I thought he was going to turn around, but he didn’t. “[Y/N] told me what you said to her when we’d picked up that dog from your clinic, that you were trying to warn her off of me. What the hell is that? Are you jealous? Do you want me back now? Because you seemed awful sure that you wanted rid of me before.”</p><p>I remembered this. I remembered the way she had spoken softly and had looked me in the eyes and had said the words, <em>‘be careful with Ryan, okay?’</em>. Her reasoning had been that he was ‘controlling’, amongst other things, but at the time I had thought it was because I had been the one to ask the very forward question of why the two of them had gotten divorced. In hindsight now I realised she had been trying to get into my head.</p><p>Geoff looked a little worried now as my eyes widened more, if that was possible.</p><p>“No, of course not, you just want me to be at your beckoned call,” Ryan said bitterly. “What the fuck difference does if make if I’m with her tonight? I’m entitled to a life.”</p><p>I locked eyes with Geoff as he once again made a motion for me to come back over to him, especially because now the conversation was definitely about me.</p><p>“I love my kids to pieces, you know that,” Ryan growled. “Being busy one night and having to say ‘no’ doesn’t mean the opposite.” There was a longer pause. “You take that back, right the fuck now.”</p><p>What had she said? Something about me? I could hardly believe that someone that seemed so professional and level-headed was speaking to someone she cared about like this. </p><p>“Laurie, I’m gonna hang up. I’m not talking to you any more tonight. You told me your mom is available, so ask her. And do not fucking tell her it’s because ‘I don’t care’ or ‘I’m a terrible father’,” Ryan finally said, hanging up abruptly and irritably clutching the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles went white.</p><p>Adrenaline gripped me briefly as I scarpered back across to the sofa with Geoff, who silently scolded me for what I’d just done, but curiosity had burned at me badly. There had been something about the tone Ryan had been using that had told me there was something wrong, something about his body language and the way that he had been cut off multiple times mid-sentence.</p><p>Returning, he sat back down beside us and sighed frustratedly. </p><p>I couldn’t help but stare at him. “Uh…you okay, Ry?”</p><p>For a moment, he simply gazed at me with ice blue eyes. “You heard all of that, didn’t you?” </p><p>“We might’ve heard some of it,” Geoff mumbled, reaching for my leash and clipping it back onto my choker. “Someone decided to take it upon her not to <em>heel</em> and went to listen.”</p><p>I spun to look at Geoff, annoyed that he’d immediately dropped me in it. “Why would you tell him that?”</p><p>Ryan leaned back a little and slid his palms over his face as though he was tired and fed up. When he met our stares again, his eyes dropped to the floor. “She’s jealous.”</p><p>“Of what?” I asked. “Of you being without her?”</p><p>“Of you,” Ryan said pointedly. “But she’s using it as an excuse to make me feel like shit.” He ran a hand back through his hair. “D’you know why I was so late on New Year’s Eve?”</p><p>Recalling the way he had appeared just in the nick of time a few minutes before the clock chimed midnight, I shook my head. I didn’t want to admit that a part of me had wondered at the time if he wasn’t going to show up at all.</p><p>“It was because we were fighting. She knew I was meeting you and she used it as an opportunity to make me feel awful about it. Yeah, she had an emergency at work, I get that but…the fact I had plans had no bearing whatsoever. The fact I wasn’t suddenly canceling on you because she told me to was unacceptable apparently,” he explained, sounding sad and a little downtrodden. </p><p>Geoff looked pensive. “That’s…not right.”</p><p>“You put your kids before everything else,” I said with a frown, meaning to speak in his defence as Geoff nodded in agreement of my words. “Before work, even. You arrange working <em>around</em> them. You always leave early if you need to pick them up, you make the effort to be the one who’s there, as their dad.”</p><p>“That’s what you do when you’re a father,” Ryan shrugged. “I make the effort to be there as much as I can, which isn’t easy when you don’t live with the mother of your kids. But tonight I had plans with you and she knew that. Anyway…”</p><p>He wanted to change the subject, but I wasn’t done. “What did she say about me?”</p><p>Ryan shook his head and said nothing, looking tired and annoyed. He reached to grab another slice of his pizza. </p><p>“Tell me?” I asked, genuinely wanting to know. </p><p>“She thinks you’re a brief phase and that you won’t last. She thinks you’re only after me for some superficial reason and you’ll move on when you’re bored.” Ryan looked as though he was sorry for the words, even if they weren’t his. </p><p>An inappropriate thing to have done at that moment was laugh. Unfortunately, that was precisely what I did because the idea that I didn’t have deep feelings for him and that I was using him was ridiculous to me when I was so absolutely head-over-heels in love with him.</p><p>Leaning close to him as he looked confused at my sudden humour, I planted a kiss on his bristly cheek. “I’m sorry but…I have no plans to vanish from your life. You’re stuck with me.”</p><p>Regarding me as he wiped his mouth with a napkin, his voice took on a slightly odd tone. “Okay.”</p><p>I kissed his cheek again. “I mean it. I love you to death.”</p><p>“Okay.” He cleared his throat, his eyes now on the coffee table. </p><p>As I made to shuffle sideways into Ryan’s lap, Geoff slackened my leash for me somewhat to facilitate this. Wrapping my arms around the former man’s neck to stroke his skin there, I smiled at him as he slid his arms around me, looking strangely unsure.</p><p>“She hasn’t made you feel insecure, right?” I asked gently, because he was still avoiding my eyes and his grip of me was tight. “Because I meant what I said. You’re my Ryan.”</p><p>Finally, he met my gaze again and a slight smile tugged at his lips. “No, I’m good. I love you too, cutie.”</p><p>“Hey, look, Brooklyn 99 is on,” Geoff grinned, changing the subject entirely because he’d taken to channel surfing again and finally found something he’d be happy to watch. </p><p>I stayed on the slightly younger man’s lap for the duration of the comedy sitcom episode while we finished our dinner. I realised that I felt annoyed at myself for feeling intimidated by Laurie before, when in reality I now wanted to stand up to her. She had straight-up told me that Ryan was a great father to their children, but I guess she was only of that opinion when it suited her.</p><p>During this time, I became aware of the way in which Ryan took to playing with my hair as usual, his fingers gently stroking through to my scalp every now and then in a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up pleasantly. Geoff had slouched sleepily beside us, his hand resting on my thigh as he struggled to stay awake. Eventually, we all agreed that unless we moved, we were all going to wind up falling asleep right where we were. </p><p>Taking over leash duty, Ryan picked it up as Geoff went to use the bathroom while I sauntered into the bedroom. </p><p>“How much of the time were you watching my ass on the way up the stairs?” I teased as Ryan smiled and bit his bottom lip a little. </p><p>“I mean…in those panties? The whole way.” He pulled on the leash to bring me to stand closer to him as he smirked down at me. “You’re such a sexy girl…how can I resist?”  </p><p>I giggled. “Are you still going to make me pay for flirting with that delivery guy?” </p><p>“Oh definitely. But not tonight,” he replied, detaching the clip and placing the leash down on the nightstand. “Maybe tomorrow, after we’ve slept. I’m exhausted.”</p><p>Oh, right. Sleep. That was a thing that normal people did. Currently, I didn’t, surviving on naps due to my night terrors. I nodded with a hopefully convincing smile as Ryan went to use the bathroom and Geoff reappeared, looking adorable in his sleepy state.</p><p>“Geeeeoff?” I grinned, standing on tiptoes to kiss his lips. “Don’t worry if I get up in the night, okay? I’ve just gone to get a drink or something. I’ve not been sleeping well.” My phone in my hand, I set my alarm for a mere two and a half hours from now.</p><p>“Alright,” he replied, yawning and sliding into bed after pulling off his t-shirt first.</p><p>As the last one back into the room from the bathroom, I hesitated on turning off the light as I stood before the two of them. They had left an amusingly large gap down the middle between them where they expected me to lay, the pair of them both gazing at me.</p><p>“I’d be comfier if I slept naked,” I said slyly, referring to the underwear I had on. “I’ll put this back on tomorrow if you want.” </p><p>“You’d better, it’s fuckin’ hot,” Geoff smirked, watching as I stripped entirely bare before flicking off the bedroom light, crawling across the duvet from the foot of the bed and shuffling between the two of them. “Gotta say though, I like this too.”</p><p>With a grin, I immediately felt them move to touch me from either side in the total darkness; one hand went to stroke my upper thigh, while the other ran smoothly over my breast and came to rest on my midriff. </p><p>“Mmm…” I sighed contentedly, comfortable and peaceful as I listened to the gradually deepening sounds of their slow breathing while they fell into a slumber. For a little while, I was happy just being there with their hands on me as though they were keeping me safe. But then I started to drift off. </p><p>My head was in a good state. Tonight had been pretty great, even though Laurie had briefly upset things. I purposefully filled my conscious mind with images of earlier in the evening. The fun roleplay, the amazing sex, the way they had taken care of me afterwards, the goofing around…</p><p>At some point, I must have actually fallen asleep, because nightmares don’t happen when you’re awake. And even when I woke up screaming because Jeremy had been holding a gun to my head while Trevor lay in a pool of his own blood with his eyes glassy and my terror so real my body was in fight or flight mode, Geoff and Ryan held me tight in the dark bedroom and soothed me while I cried, shaking and traumatised from the vivid horror movie my brain had showed me tonight.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>75. Fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Geoff is an angel who deserves to be happy. He confides in you a little and you jump to reassure him.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>Brief Light Sexual Content</i>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Geoff’s arms were around me as he cradled me close, the tears still wet on my cheeks. I couldn’t stop shivering but as we sat with the duvet pooled around us, I realised it wasn’t because I was cold. All the same, he dragged the sheets up to wrap around me too, his hand in my hair and his lips near my ear as he whispered that I was okay.</p><p>Ryan had tiredly gone downstairs to get me some water, but as I sipped it and wiped my eyes with a tissue, I became aware of how guilty I now felt for having woken the both of them up. Stupid me was the one having the nightmares - they didn’t need to be up at all hours of the night too but they could hardly continue to doze when I was flailing and screaming, eventually waking myself up.</p><p>“D’you want to leave the light on? Or maybe read a book for a bit to take your mind off it?” Geoff asked gently, his tone wrought with worry as he tried to suggest something that would help. </p><p>Handing my glass of water gratefully back to Ryan who placed it on the nightstand, I shook my head no. It wasn’t the darkness that caused the horrendous nightmares, reading would only keep the pair of them awake and I had no desire to go and sit somewhere else in the house alone. Besides, I was exhausted due to what little sleep I’d had being so disrupted. </p><p>I checked my phone briefly to see that my alarm had failed to wake me because I’d set it wrongly, meaning I’d slipped into a deep sleep that had helped along the nightmare. On the other hand, it was rare for me to have two of them in the same night, so perhaps now I could just switch off and actually get some shut-eye. </p><p>“I usually just…try to go back to sleep,” I mumbled, feeling like a huge burden all of a sudden. Making to lay back down on my side, I felt Geoff curl up around me from behind and pull my body close to his in a protective fashion while in front of me, Ryan lay down too and gazed at me quietly in the darkness, his fingers moving to gently stroke my forearm affectionately. </p><p>“Close your eyes and breathe deeply,” Geoff told me in a whisper, his hand stroking soothingly around and over my hip. “Think of nice things.”</p><p>“Like what?” I asked, as Ryan chuckled a little. “Like you guys, covered in puppies or something? And there’s free unlimited dessert? And video games?”</p><p>“If that’s what you wanna think about, go for it,” Ryan replied, his voice cracking slightly like he was trying not to laugh. </p><p>Eventually I fell back to sleep, dreaming of a strangely gigantic ring donut that had been sent to the office by a fan. We cut it up like a cake, though it was so big it occupied one of our desks entirely and required the entire company’s worth of on-site employees to help out. </p><p>I awoke serenely to the room being brightly lit from the sun pouring through the curtains that were open a crack, the absence of my guys immediately obvious but the enticing smell of food giving a strong indication as to where they probably were. Hungry and with a yawn, I stepped through to the bathroom to clean myself up a little and brush my hair, apply deodorant and clean my teeth, my head in the clouds the whole time as I tried to decide what to wear.</p><p>After the nightmare coupled with my clear tiredness, they would probably forgive me for going down fully dressed. But on the other hand, I also wanted to seize the opportunity presented to me while we were staying here, the three of us alone. This wasn’t the kind of opportunity that came around all that often since neither of them had their house to themselves for very long at a time. Undecided, I traipsed back through to the bedroom and tried to make up my mind.</p><p>Just the underwear, it had to be, right? The black sheer, crotchless panties and matching bra, both adorned with ribbon and lace - even as I slid them both back on I felt my body wake up a little. Choker still around my neck, I tiptoed downstairs to find them both sitting to the kitchen table eating toast. For a moment I remained out of sight and watched them as Ryan scanned his phone intently and Geoff made a comment about basketball after checking his own for sports news. </p><p>Feeling oddly shy and out of place all of a sudden, I waltzed right into the room and began to busy myself with making breakfast, knowing that their reactions would give me a confidence boost.</p><p>“Hey!” I said brightly, hoping they weren’t going to bring up the night’s event, because I was now sort of embarrassed about it. </p><p>“Hey yourself…” Geoff trailed off, staring blatantly at me as I reached to grab the butter.</p><p>“Look who just woke up and already looks sexy,” Ryan smiled, raising an eyebrow at my attire. “I almost feel overdressed.”</p><p>Clearing my throat, I turned to face them and watched their eyes drink me in with satisfaction. I had never in a million years considered myself ‘sexy’ before I’d gotten with these men but I was slowly coming around to maybe believing their compliments since they paid them to me so often. “D’you guys want more toast?” </p><p>Ryan eyed the block of butter in my hand. “No, but I’d kinda like to rail you on this table.”</p><p>Blushing deeply at his forwardness, I laughed a little as Geoff snickered. “Well, can that wait until I’ve eaten?” I watched Ryan shrug with a playful smile and took this as a yes, so I continued to make and eat my breakfast. “We’re not really gonna…in here…? I mean…people eat in here…”</p><p>“Eh, they won’t know,” Geoff replied, still sniggering like a teenager.</p><p>“You two are insatiable,” I sighed, chewing as I sat down too. “You’re not fucking me over someone else’s kitchen table. We can do it over yours again later if you want, assuming Gavin and Meg aren’t there.”</p><p>Ryan cocked an eyebrow. “Wait, ‘again’? When did that happen before?”</p><p>“Oh when I was being Geoff’s naughty school student that was trying to earn an ‘A’,” I replied innocently, taking another bite of my toast. </p><p>“Goddamn…” he didn’t look particularly surprised, but he did look like he was enjoying this information. “Did you call him ‘Professor’?”</p><p>I shook my head. “Nope, I called him ‘Sir’.”</p><p>Geoff smirked, the fact he was remembering the incident clear on his face. “That was hot. And you were wearing that red skirt…which I seem to remember was how it started…”</p><p>Ryan was looking as though we’d both decided to give him a second Christmas in January. “So in this perverted little role-play scenario, if Geoff’s your teacher, then what does that make me? Please say the principle, because if you get sent to me I’m definitely gonna spank your ass with a ruler.”</p><p>“Or I could come home to you…” I smirked, not carrying on because I hoped he would get my drift. </p><p>“Home?” he blinked, not getting it.</p><p>“Yeah…” I said, fluttering my eyelashes innocently at him, “I come home to you because I got bad grades and you punish me for it. And then you find out I’ve been having sex with my teacher and oh, you get so mad because I’m just such a dirty slut that can’t behave herself…”</p><p>Finally, it dawned on him. “Ohhh…” It also seemed to dawn on Geoff however, who looked as though he was contemplating something.</p><p>“You’re really into that ‘Daddy’ thing, aren’t you?” he asked, looking me in the eyes as I bit my lip and used my toast as an excuse not to reply right away. I did however, nod shyly.</p><p>“Does it bother you?” I asked, getting up to pour myself some coffee from the pot that Geoff had made for himself prior to my awakening. Of course unlike him, I added milk and sugar to mine while I observed that Ryan’s cheeks had adorably gone slightly pink.</p><p>“It’s not my kinda thing but it doesn’t bother me, no,” he shrugged in response, checking his phone again. “You two…go nuts.”</p><p>“Well, we do have some boundaries,” I said fairly, remembering what Ryan had said about not using the word casually outside of bedroom activities or at least during intimate moments because he found it too weird. “We haven’t really used it much…yet.”</p><p>“Except on my birthday when I pulled it out of nowhere and you came like a banshee,” Ryan grinned despite his apparent sudden sheepishness, watching me blush once more. “And you- <em>don’t move</em>.”</p><p>“Huh?” I froze despite my confusion, because something in his voice had changed and his eyes were looking somewhere behind me. He appeared to be a little alarmed, but that was absolutely nothing compared with Geoff’s reaction. </p><p>“ARRRGHH!” His chair flew out from under him as he leapt up from it, kicking it in panic as he scrambled to the doorway and out of the room. “Oh my god it’s a fucking <em>snake!</em>”</p><p>“Okay…move slow and stand up…” Ryan said to me, his voice firm but composed. </p><p>“What, like Geoff just did?” I asked sarcastically, still perched in my chair with toast between my fingers. </p><p>“Yeah, don’t do what he did,” he replied pointedly, making it to his feet very gradually as well.</p><p>“Is it a rattlesnake?” I inquired, remaining surprisingly calm. Maybe that was because I had my back to it and had no idea what they had seen. “I don’t hear it…”</p><p>“Nah, it’s definitely not,” Ryan assured me. “I don’t know how the fuck it got in, but it looks like one of those common black and brown checkered ones.”</p><p>Very carefully, I rose to my feet and turned to see what all the fuss was about. A Garter Snake of about a metre long was watching us from its position of being partially coiled up on the kitchen floor, obviously having slithered out from under a cabinet or something. They weren’t venomous and were very common here, but seeing them inside was still a shock. Of all the snakes I may have panicked about coming so close to however, this was not one of them.</p><p>“Geoff? How’re you doing?” Ryan called out, picking up his phone from the table and tapping into it.</p><p>“Is it gone? Oh god, did it bite you? Oh fuck,” he whimpered from the next room as he went into meltdown. “Make it leave, kill it or something, fuck fuck <em>fuck</em>…don’t let it bite you!”</p><p>“It’s not venomous,” I responded, hoping this might help. It didn’t.</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck, it’s still a fuckin’ snake and it’s got teeth and just get in here,” he whined, aggravated. </p><p>“D’you want me to calm him down?” I asked Ryan quietly with raised eyebrows as he Googled the phone number for a snake retrieval service in the area. </p><p>“That might be best,” he nodded with a chuckle as we both backed out of the room and shut the door before turning to face a very disturbed Geoff who had fled to the living room.</p><p>“What if it fuckin’ followed you in, can it fit under the door?” he asked, his hands shaking somewhat as he squatted on the sofa with his arms wrapped around his knees and his eyes wide. His voice had risen several octaves as it often did when he was scared. “Maybe we should go, right now, what if there are more?”</p><p>“Geoff,” I soothed, kneeling beside him. “It’s okay. We just need to call someone in and they’ll take it away.”</p><p>“What if it has a whole fuckin’ family living here somewhere and they’re just waiting to appear?” Geoff shot back, his eyes darting around the room as though he expected them to slither out of every crack and crevice like some horror movie. </p><p>Ryan was on the phone now, explaining the situation. Where he lived, rattlesnakes were pretty common and he and Laurie had had a dog be bitten by one before, resulting in an emergency vet visit. I was relieved it hadn’t been one of those at least - I may have reacted with more fear if it had been and I would have bet that even Ryan, who was unnervingly good in high-stress situations, wouldn’t have kept his cool nearly as well.</p><p>“Geoff, look at me,” I coaxed him, sliding my arms around his neck. “It’s okay. There are no more snakes.”</p><p>With the eyes of a sweet child, he looked at me a little hopefully. “No more? Just the one?”</p><p>“Just the one.”</p><p>“Okay.” He shivered a little. “Just…ugh. I fuckin’ hate snakes.”</p><p>“I know,” I nodded, petting his dark short hair now. “It’s okay. I’m the same with cockroaches. You should probably tell your friend about this, y’know, since this is their house.”</p><p>“Yeah, I should,” Geoff replied with a sigh, digging his phone out of his jeans’ pocket and saying aloud what he was typing. “<em>Great big…ugly snake…in your…kitchen…calling…a guy…</em>”</p><p>Giggling, I made a Harry Potter reference. “Snake! In the kitchen! Thought you oughta know.” This earned me a brief amused grin from him.</p><p>Now finished with the call and having been paying no attention to us, Ryan cast Geoff a curious look. “Outta interest, if this was your place and you were alone, what would you have done?”</p><p>“Burn it down,” Geoff answered without missing a beat, eliciting laughter from us both. “House is a lost cause.” </p><p>“I’d have to move in with Ry full-time then, if you had no house,” I grinned, turning to look at him. “By the way…Geoff asked me to move in with him part-time if I live with you part-time too to make it fair, as long as that’s okay. I said maybe.”</p><p>With evident surprise, Ryan flopped down onto the sofa beside me. “I guess that could work. I’m alright with it, but…you will wind up seeing my kids more.”</p><p>I shrugged. “They’re your children and I’m in a relationship with you. That just…comes hand in hand, right?”</p><p>“I don’t expect you to become a step-mother or anything,” he added quickly. “I don’t want you to feel pressured, I know you’re not fond of kids…but you were fine with them last time. It might be kind of nice for you to get to know them a little.”</p><p>“When does Hanna move into her new place?” Geoff asked, having visibly relaxed slightly now that we had distracted him. “Maybe you should wait until then before moving any of your stuff.”</p><p>“Next week,” I smiled. “It’s a shame that the three of us can’t just all find a place together. That would be great.” With a sigh, I imagined waking up and falling asleep beside both of them every single day. This scenario was probably best viewed with rose-tinted glasses though.</p><p>“You obviously have no idea how much we’d get on each others’ nerves,” Geoff grinned as Ryan nodded in agreement. “Not sure we could ever live together. Plus the kids throw that off too.”</p><p>“Yeah and not to be the one to point this out, but word would get around that Geoff and I were living together <em>fast</em>,” Ryan laughed. “I can already see the goddamn reactions in the office and outside of it.”</p><p>“And the fans,” Geoff pointed out. “They’d immediately assume we were fucking.”</p><p>“Of course,” I giggled, sarcastically. “Because both of you got divorced from your wives and realised you were gay for one another. Obviously.”</p><p>Ryan’s gaze slid down to my breasts, just barely contained by my sheer black lace bra. “Nothing wrong with being gay but I am definitely not.”</p><p>“Y’know what,” Geoff said abruptly, bringing the subject back around and still sounding on-edge. “I can’t be down here, I’m going upstairs.”</p><p>“But Geoff, what if there are more snakes up there?” Ryan teased, making me glare at him for it. </p><p>“Shut it,” I rolled my eyes. “Geoff, come on. Let’s go back upstairs away from the snake.”</p><p>Hesitating because Ryan had clearly planted a seed of doubt now, Geoff groaned and left the room anyway, climbing the stairs two at a time and practically throwing himself back into the bedroom. Pacing, he tucked his hands into his jeans’ pockets and cast me a sheepish look as I followed him in.</p><p>“Y’know…” I said slyly, inspired as I sauntered over to him. “I could always distract you…”</p><p>“But what if it managed to-“ he didn’t have time to finish this paranoid thought because I’d pressed my lips against his as I placed my hands on his chest to slowly push him backwards towards the bed. “Mmm…”</p><p>“Focus on me,” I smiled as I heard Ryan enter the room too. “Lay down.”</p><p>Interestingly he did so, sitting on the edge of the bed and then shuffling to lay down in the centre of it, his light blue eyes curious as I crawled ever-so-slowly over to straddle him, aware that Ryan was definitely standing observing this and had a fantastic view of my ass now. I sat up while astride Geoff, gazing down at him seductively as a small smile tugged upwards at his lips. </p><p>“You’re definitely…helping,” he grinned, watching as I very subtly moved my hips and ran my hands slowly up over my breasts, deliberately giving him a show. </p><p>“Oh am I?” I asked innocently, purposefully turning to look at Ryan, who was staring at me on top of Geoff like he wanted to eat me. “Am I helping him d’you think?” I reached behind myself and unclasped my bra, placing it aside.</p><p>With a dark smirk, Ryan folded his toned arms across his chest as he walked over to lean against the wall and get a better view of me from the side. “I’d say so.”</p><p>“Your tits are great,” Geoff chuckled, watching this as I locked my gaze with his and began to play with my own nipples, feeling them harden beneath my fingertips. </p><p>Biting his bottom lip, Ryan cast me a look of slight longing at this. “Such a naughty little tease…”</p><p>“She is,” Geoff said lightly, his palms now on my thighs as he watched me feel myself up for his benefit. </p><p>I grinned, still covertly grinding on him while I leaned right down to kiss his lips again before softly moaning against his mouth. “Mmm, <em>Geoff</em>…”</p><p>“Fuck,” he breathed, his eyes closing as his warm hands slid across my skin to my hips. </p><p>“I guess I’ll get the door when the guy arrives because you two aren’t going to be in any fit state to,” Ryan chortled. </p><p>“I’m amazed you aren’t going to make me do it,” I smirked before continuing to kiss Geoff’s face softly around his chin and cheek. His hands roamed up my sides to my back gently.</p><p>With a chuckle, Ryan shook his head. “Since he needs to come in and deal with an actual thing that will take longer than a few minutes, it would be pretty unfair of us to make you do that.”</p><p>Caught up in the moment and utterly horny again from teasing Geoff, I grinned. “I guess it would. I suppose you’ll just have to leave us two up here until you get back, Ry.”</p><p>“Or I could not get the door,” he replied with an evil smile.</p><p>“Wh- no you have to,” Geoff said, suddenly sounding a little pleading as he glanced over at the other man now. “Please, the fuckin’ snake’s still down there.”</p><p>Obviously enjoying this a bit too much, Ryan grinned as the doorbell rang out loudly. “Alright, fine. You owe me.”</p><p>Sighing as the slightly younger man left to attend to it, the older tattooed man gazed at me apologetically, his hands dropping to his sides on the bed. “I…can’t do this. Not while I know it’s in the house. It’s still…there.”</p><p>Stroking his stubble with the backs of my fingers, I smiled and kissed his lips again in understanding. “It’s okay, I get it. I can wait.”</p><p>“You sure?” He almost looked embarrassed, like this was something he was ashamed of happening. “You’re so <em>hot</em>…but I can’t…”</p><p>His body was struggling to follow through while in the back of his mind, his fear still reigned - I understood. I really didn’t want him to feel bad about this because if I were in his situation and it was one of my fears, I would likely be the same. I climbed off of him and lay down beside him, ignoring my own arousal.</p><p>“Hey Geoff?”</p><p>“Yeah?” he mumbled.</p><p>“It’s totally okay,” I replied, draping an arm around him and snuggling up to him, noticing that his heart was still beating a little faster than it perhaps should have been considering he’d been horizontal for a while. “I shouldn’t have pressured you when I knew you weren’t in the right frame of mind.”</p><p>For a moment, he merely looked at me. Then he reached to stroke my neck with affection in his eyes. “You’re amazing and it was really sweet that you wanted to try to distract me.”</p><p>Topless and only in panties now, I shivered a little and felt him pull me a little closer. He was so nice and warm, his jeans and t-shirt brushing against my bare skin as he caressed me with his palms. We could hear voices downstairs as the presumed snake removal guy was shown to the kitchen by Ryan in order to safely contain the Checkered Garter. </p><p>“Can we be real for a second?” he asked me quietly, out of the blue. “Why are you with me?”</p><p>In slight shock, I blinked. “Because you make me happy. You make me laugh, you’re supportive, you make me feel safe. You’ve never let me down, you’re honest as hell even when it bites you in the ass and all of this was the case <em>before</em> we even got together. Plus you’re gorgeous. There’s more I’m probably not thinking of right now, but you get the idea.”</p><p>“But…” he hesitated, looking very much like he didn’t believe a word I’d just said. “You deserve better. You make me a better man but sometimes…I feel guilty because I know you could do better.”</p><p>I had no idea where the heck any of this had come from, but I had the feeling it had been bubbling up in his mind long before today. I recalled an incident the morning after a drinking binge where he’d blatantly told me that my mother had been right when she had judgementally and without even knowing him, told me I could do better too. I had disagreed vehemently at the time and still did now. </p><p>“Geoff…you’re a light in my life,” I shrugged. “You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and I don’t just mean because you hired me years ago. I’m lucky to have you; any woman would be. I know you’re super self-depreciating and you don’t like yourself, but you’re actually incredible. You just don’t see it because you’re you.”</p><p>I realised how hypocritical I sounded right after I’d finished with this little speech - I constantly didn’t feel like I was quite enough for him and Ryan. They could surely have their pick of anyone with their looks and charisma so why had they both become so infatuated with me? I guess the moral was that nobody can see themselves through the eyes of others and seeing yourself objectively was extremely difficult for some.</p><p>Geoff cleared his throat and I glanced up to see him staring at the ceiling, his navy-inked hands still stroking over my skin as he embraced me. “I’m so lucky that you’re clearly crazy and slightly hard of sight and hearing.” </p><p>I snorted, hitting him playfully in the chest. “Shut up you dick, I’m none of those things.”</p><p>Some time passed in silence as we lay there, enjoying one another’s company as more voices echoed from downstairs and a door slammed. Footsteps trod up the stairs as Ryan re-entered the room.</p><p>“You’ll be happy to know that it’s gone,” Ryan said triumphantly, obviously referring to the snake. “Snake Man was great.”</p><p>“<em>Snake Man?</em>” I asked with a giggle. “Was he in a snake outfit like Spiderman?” </p><p>“Yeah, it was kinda weird,” Ryan grinned, going along with this. “When he got down on the floor like a snake though, I had to ask him to leave.” </p><p>Geoff looked appalled by this humour and anxiously made to sit up. “But it’s definitely gone? He got it?”</p><p>“Definitely,” Ryan nodded sincerely directly before being sarcastic. “We’re all gonna live another day.”</p><p>“Thank goodness you were here to <em>ring a guy</em>,” I gasped, being equally as sarcastic back to him as he raised an eyebrow. “<em>What</em> would we have done without you?”</p><p>“Y’know, it’s shit like that that gets you into trouble with me,” Ryan said smugly, piercing me with a look. “And you’re already in trouble with flirting so brazenly with that pizza guy last night, so I’d watch your step.”</p><p>With playful attitude, I stood up off of the bed and folded my arms, purposefully accenting my breasts because my forearms were pushing them up and together slightly. “I thought he was cute. What are you gonna do about it?”</p><p>Chuckling at my cheek, Ryan took a step towards me, but I stood my ground. “I think you know.”</p><p>“No, what?” I replied stubbornly, raising my eyebrows and staring him down. “Go on. I dare you.”</p><p>“Okay. Alright. I just want you to know that you started this, bitch,” he replied simply and lightly, stepping past me to my surprise and walking across to the nightstand where my leash was still coiled up from last night. </p><p>Geoff grinned, voicing my thoughts. “Hope you remember that safe word because he’s in a fuckin’ mood now.”</p><p>As I remained still with a slightly challenging look in my eyes, Ryan attached the leash clip to my choker and walked swiftly out of the room with the other end of it clutched in his fist. With no choice I followed him, wondering where the hell we were going.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>76. Lewd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. You realise what Ryan meant when he said before that if he ever got you on a leash, he would 'fuck you like a bitch’.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning - absolute filth, you’ve been warned ;) </b>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I had no time at all to even feel guilty for leaving Geoff upstairs, figuring that if he wanted to follow us, he would. Besides, maybe he just needed a couple of minutes alone after the conversation we had just had.</p><p>Yanking on the leash sharply at the bottom of the stairs, Ryan led me to the kitchen where he promptly strolled around the table and then bent me over it roughly by the back of my neck, forcing me down. I heard him open a couple of drawers followed by a cupboard, his fist still gripping the end of my leash but with a fair amount of slack on it now to allow him some freedom of movement. Regardless, I remained still and exactly where he’d put me.</p><p>“Let’s not ruin these,” he chuckled, hooking his fingers over the lacy waistband of my panties and pulling them down far enough so that they would drop to my ankles. “I’m gonna give you a chance to apologise for talking back to me in a minute, you should probably take it.”</p><p>With a sly smile, I planned to do no such thing. In fact, sitting astride Geoff and toying with him, along with the way Ryan was currently treating me had made me unbelievably horny.</p><p>“Give me your hands,” he instructed. I carefully did so, feeling him tie them behind my back as I leaned entirely on my upper body on the table, my chin resting on the wood. He appeared to be using some sort of string that was rough and rubbed sorely a little when I struggled, so I made a particular effort to keep my wrists still. </p><p>“Ryan?” I asked curiously, wondering where he was going with this. I mean, I had a pretty good idea, but he was piquing my interest since we weren’t in the bedroom any more.</p><p>What I got for this was a hard slap on my ass.</p><p>“I didn’t say you could speak, bitch.” His tone was firm, indicating to me that I should definitely just play along or else face more punishment. He finished knotting the string, checking that I couldn’t wriggle out of it before running his own hands smoothly over my bare hips. “Now. Apologise.”</p><p>This could go one of two ways. Either I could sweetly grovel, hope he called me a good girl and took mercy on me. Or…</p><p>“No.” I couldn’t see him standing behind me, but his pause was clear.</p><p>“No?” he repeated, sounding amused. </p><p>“I liked flirting with the pizza guy, especially because he looked like Jeremy. It’s a good thing you didn’t leave me alone with him or I might have had my way with him,” I replied sassily, knowing that this would wind him up despite the latter half of that not being true. </p><p>Without saying another word, I suddenly felt the sting of something foreign hitting my ass, something that felt like wood. Fairly sure that he’d found a flat spatula or something, I quietly let my mouth fall open in a rush of arousal as he spanked me with it relentlessly. It stung more than the leather paddle with nothing to cushion the blows.</p><p>“Ow, fuck!” I cursed as he picked a steady rhythm. </p><p>“Aw, does that hurt?” he goaded me, continuing. “Does the little whore’s ass hurt?”</p><p>“Mmmffff!” I bit my lip in an effort not to complain too much. </p><p>“Geoff was right to keep you on a fucking leash,” he chuckled as I started to wince at the assault on my ass cheeks. “Get you a little hot and you’ll bend over for any guy, right?” </p><p>“No,” I pouted. “Just you two.”</p><p>“Yeah? You sure?” Finally, he set the utensil down with a small clatter and used his hands to part my stinging ass cheeks, where he could also probably clearly see how wet I was slightly lower down. “Goddamn. C’mere.” </p><p>He had gripped my upper arms in order to help me upright now before abruptly pulling me back against his chest as his palm went to my throat to tighten around it. I made a small choking noise as he smiled, his lips near my ear and his voice filled with desire. Instinctively, my eyes closed in response because all that was flowing through me was my lust for him, even as he partially cut off my airway.</p><p>“Maybe I should take you outside, huh?” he taunted, his free hand running up over my left breast. “Show you off to the neighbours? Show them what a slut you are for me?”</p><p>In slight alarm, my eyes opened again. “We can’t, I-“</p><p>“Shut <em>up,</em>” he growled quietly, releasing my throat but pinching my nipple hard as punishment. </p><p>Squeaking slightly as he yanked on the leash once more, we headed over to the back yard door. With no idea where we were this freaked me out somewhat but I internalised it and followed him out onto the dark wooden decking anyway, feeling extremely vulnerable now. Since I’d been brought here blindfolded yesterday, this was the first time I was glimpsing a view of outside in this area.</p><p>The yard was neat and not fenced in, though this might have been because the trees, grassy ground and lack of any other fences gave the impression that there wasn’t another house for some way. This was definitely far more rural than even Ryan’s place which at least was in a suburb and as I looked over to the left, I could see the distant stream trickling that I’d heard as soon as we’d set foot out here. The grass outside of the house was freshly cut - though definitely not to any kind of suburban housing association standard - and it looked tidy and kept enough until it merged out into the more wild grasses towards where the trees became more dense.</p><p>Nonetheless, I could hear the odd car pass distantly every couple of minutes so we weren’t totally in the middle of nowhere, though there was no view of the road from here.</p><p>Deciding to wait until later to ask about our location exactly, I merely gazed steadily at him while the slightly cool air perked up both my nipples. It certainly wasn’t as cold as it had been in the last few weeks and was actually pretty mild today, but there again I was naked.</p><p>Stepping down the wooden deck steps, the leash went taut as Ryan cocked an eyebrow at my still stance. “<em>Move</em>. Do I need to remind you who’s in charge here?”</p><p>So I coyly padded down them too with my heart pounding, trusting him with my bare feet on the slightly damp, soft grass as we walked a few steps out into the yard before he halted and took a handful of my hair to use in order to jerk my head back.</p><p>“Occasionally people walk near here, according to Geoff,” Ryan informed me, watching as my mouth fell open in surprise. “Not often, but just a little way over there-“ he turned my head for me a little so that I could see where he meant, “-is a public footpath. This is a pretty quiet place to live though, so maybe nobody will while we’re out here if you’re lucky. Kneel.”</p><p>“And what if I don’t?” I asked defiantly, a tiny smile on my lips as I realised how excited I was about possibly being caught during all of this.</p><p>Without giving me time to adjust, he released my hair and walked behind me, using my bound wrists resting on my lower back to pull me down backwards, which in turn forced me to kneel. I could have still refused to comply, but then I would have just fallen over.</p><p>“Don’t be so disobedient,” he chided me, giving my ass a slap for good measure. “Do as you’re fucking told.”</p><p>I smiled innocently up at him, watching as he smirked darkly back, probably waiting for my next snarky comment. When I decided not to give him one, he sank to his knees too and took hold of the back of my neck once more. The next thing I knew, the side of my face was pressed against the damp grass and dirt and he was sinking two fingers into my wet pussy while I helplessly knelt there with my ass in the air and my hands behind my back. </p><p>I gasped with pleasure as he used his thumb to rub at my clit lightly too, though because my line of sight was away from the house I could easily see the vacant footpath some fifty feet away. The cool air was now only serving to stimulate me further as the grass tickled at my breasts, my breaths coming in moans.</p><p>“This is what happens when you act like a little bitch,” Ryan murmured. “You get put on display in the yard. Are you not gonna make another smart-ass comment?”</p><p>This probably should have humiliated me, but it didn’t. Instead, though my cheeks pinked a little in response to this comment, I just wanted him to continue doing what he was doing.</p><p>“Holy shit Ryan,” exclaimed Geoff’s sudden voice from the back doorway where I couldn’t see him because I was facing the other way. Obviously, he had wondered where we had gotten to and had decided to come and investigate. And oh man had he found me in a compromising position. “You don’t waste fuckin’ time.”</p><p>“I really don’t,” Ryan answered him lightly, as though this was entirely normal. “Do you wanna watch?”</p><p>“Is that even a fuckin’ question?” Geoff scoffed as I heard his footsteps near. He walked around me so that I could see his feet and calves before squatting down and tilting his head a little. “Hey sweetheart, having fun?”</p><p>“Mhmmmm,” was all I could reply in that moment, because Ryan was still fingering me and my whole body was feeling tingly with hot and cold at the same time.</p><p>“She’s hoping that someone is going to see her when they walk by over there,” he told Geoff smugly, despite this being completely his idea. </p><p>And even though I naturally resisted this, even though I immediately rejected this accusation, I secretly was. The exhibitionist in me had come out to play again, just like it had in the pool in LA. I wanted someone to see me like this, to perhaps think about it on their way home and to possibly not be able to get me out of their head for a while as the filthy girl who enjoyed having her face pressed to the ground while she was exposed from behind and taken advantage of.</p><p>Geoff laughed a little, though not harshly. “‘Course she is.” He hooked a finger down the back of my leather choker, pulling back on it so that it would choke me somewhat. “I’m sure somebody will come along.”</p><p>“<em>Oh shit,</em>” I groaned, trembling as Ryan failed to let up, knowing full-well that I was definitely going to come soon.</p><p>“Loudly,” he instructed me, digging his fingernails into my thigh. “Scream, slut.”</p><p>An involuntarily loud amount of noise left my mouth as I succumbed to the incredible orgasm and gasped for breath right after, my chest heaving as I opened my eyes to see Geoff smirking while Ryan withdrew his fingers from me. They gave me a couple of seconds before the latter man lifted me upright by my upper arms once again, stroking my hair with his clean hand as the fingers of his other went to his lips. </p><p>“You’d better be ready to suck some cock,” Geoff grinned, watching as I met his eyes and knowing that I would do anything for him.</p><p>Ryan merely smirked, tasting me on his fingers as he watched Geoff now moving to unbutton and unzip his jeans as I knelt before him. If he’d been having trouble earlier because of the snake in the kitchen, he certainly wasn’t now as he produced his hard length that I immediately opened wide for. </p><p>“You’re gonna have to work extra hard with your hands tied up like that,” he said with a contented sigh as I did my best on him with just my mouth and tongue. </p><p>Slowly, I became aware of how Ryan had decided to unbind my wrists while I sucked before presenting me with his own erect dick right beside Geoff. With slight confusion, I gazed up at them both, fully-aware of how I must have looked on my knees between them right now. Probably like something out of a porno. </p><p>“You can multi-task,” Ryan said pointedly, expectantly glancing at my hand.<br/><br/>Understanding, I switched my mouth to him while using my hand on Geoff. This required a fair amount of concentration but after a minute, I got the hang of it. Switching accordingly was easy, as was the oral pleasuring that I’d gotten so accustomed to. What was more difficult though was the changing of which hand I was using depending on who I had in my mouth, because it was considerably more of a struggle keeping up my jacking technique with my non-dominant hand. </p><p>Despite this, they were both seeming to enjoy my intimate attention even whilst standing so close to one another, though I suspected this was because their focus on me was absolute. </p><p>“D’you wish someone was watching right now?” Ryan taunted me, knowing my answer even though I couldn’t voice it. </p><p>Geoff moaned deeply because I had just decided to deep throat him. “Fuckin’ <em>shit</em>, that’s hot…”</p><p>Obviously, I wasn’t going to do this just to one of them and leave the other out. Ryan let out a quiet, “mhmm…” as I did the same to him afterwards, still using my hand to rub the other man in the meantime. </p><p>“Get back down on the ground,” Ryan smirked after another minute, indicating that I was to bend back over again where I knelt, “with your face in the dirt again like I know you fucking love.”</p><p>Done with playfully resisting, I obeyed. My hands were free but I didn’t rest any of my weight on them, instead letting them lay at my sides.</p><p>“I left something inside, I’ll be right back.” I heard Ryan walk away back towards the door leading into the kitchen, but Geoff remained.</p><p>“Are you…uh…okay?” he asked, but he was still grinning as he stroked a hand up my back and over my ass. “Seems like he’s really intent on teaching you a lesson today.”</p><p>I smirked at him from my view down in the grass. “I wound him up on purpose. And then I threw fuel on the fire.”</p><p>Ryan quickly returned. “I was looking for some sort of cooking oil…but then I found this in a cupboard.” I heard the sound of a glass jar being opened and got too curious not to sit up. He gave me a piercing look as I eyed the organic coconut oil in his hand but said nothing for a moment.</p><p>“That smells pretty good,” Geoff commented, leaning to see it. “Didn’t know Lana and Rick were this fancy. Hope they don’t notice it going missing.”</p><p>“You’d better bend back over before I make you,” Ryan warned me as I realised I was still staring at the opaque white solid substance. When he used his fingers to scoop some out however, it seemed like more of a paste. Intrigued, I returned to my former position and felt him begin to rub it over and around my ass cheeks, realising that it was very quickly turning to oil upon contact with my body. </p><p>I loved the smell of coconut and the more he smoothed it over my skin the more I relaxed, even when he pressed his fingers against my asshole and pushed them in slowly one at a time. Geoff had decided to continue coating the rest of my body with it though, using his hands on my back and sides while Ryan continued to stretch me out somewhat.</p><p>“You have no idea how much I wanna eat you right now,” Geoff chuckled as Ryan slowly eased what felt like his whole hand in and out of my ass, but in reality was only four well-lubricated fingers.</p><p>“Alright, you’re good,” Ryan decided, before I felt him press his dick to my hole instead. He went very slowly because I had to adjust to the size of him but despite this, I made a conscious effort to relax with a small series of whimpers. </p><p>“Holy shit,” I whined as he reached the maximum depth he could go before pulling slowly halfway out. When he pushed back in, the tightness and slight soreness dissipated slightly and the more times he did this, the more those unpleasant sensations were replaced by pleasure. </p><p>“Shut the fuck up,” Ryan growled, so I bit my lip and closed my eyes in complete submission to him. </p><p>Finally, he was able to thrust relatively normally while I moaned and Geoff watched, his mouth a little open in awe coupled with obvious arousal. This was an entirely different kind of pleasure but unlike the one sole time before when he had fucked my ass, he was currently going harder now that he had a sense that I was handling it okay. </p><p>“How tight is she?” Geoff asked curiously, his hand reaching for his own dick because he was still hard as a rock. </p><p>“<em>Very,</em>” Ryan groaned, now slamming into me while I mewled with enjoyment.</p><p>I couldn’t help but wish that someone would come walking along that footpath. Then again, what we were doing was technically illegal and could get us into deep shit if anyone actually reported us whilst on their daily stroll, so maybe I shouldn’t wish for it quite so much. So far, we had been lucky in that nobody had seen us, but it was only a matter of time right? The thought sparked yet more lust.</p><p>As though reading my mind, Geoff smirked as he caught sight of my eyes fixed on the footpath. “I had no idea how much of an exhibitionist you really were before I got to know you so well…maybe I should ask around about that underground sex bar I told you about before…see if we can’t maybe visit one sometime.”</p><p>With a moan of depraved pleasure at his words, I wanted to reach and touch myself, but I knew better despite how much fire was rushing through me. “I’d love to see one in action,” I panted. </p><p>Ryan was understandably barely paying attention to our conversation since he was balls-deep inside me, but as I heard him moan familiarly and grip my slippery ass cheeks with his fingers, I knew he was coming in the next instant. A moment later, he slowly pulled out.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” he breathed, giving my ass another unwarranted hard slap. “You’re such a good girl when I make you be one.”</p><p>I moaned quietly, desperately needing to come again as Geoff lined himself up instead and pushed into my slick asshole much more easily now, applying a little more coconut oil just for good measure. To my utter relief, Ryan moved to kneel down beside me so that he could reach under with his right hand and rub my clit, eliciting a loud whimper from me.</p><p>“That’s it, take his dick too,” Ryan murmured with a smirk. “Such a shame that there’s nobody here to watch.”</p><p>“I wish there was,” I panted as Geoff quickly began to slam into me. Since he’d been waiting and was horny as hell, I didn’t blame him in the slightest and welcomed his immediate roughness. “I wish there were a dozen people over there.”</p><p>“A dozen? Goddamn, [Y/N],” Ryan chuckled. “You’d definitely attract a crowd though, you’re sexy as fuck. Especially like this.”</p><p>My skin was shiny from the oil which was creating a cooling feeling now from the moderately chilled air, but I was burning from everything that was going on to the point that it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t sweating exactly, but as Ryan worked me up into a craze with his fingers and Geoff continued to pound me, I couldn’t help but imagine that there were people fixated on me. </p><p>“Don’t forget to ask permission,” Ryan uttered the familiar words that I loved to hear every time. </p><p>“P-please…” I begged straight away, already so close that I was relying on him giving me that permission pretty quickly. </p><p>“Just a little longer…” Ryan replied, his tone teasing. “Be a good slut.”</p><p>I let out a slightly agonised whimper as I heard Geoff growl that he was close. “<em>Please…</em>”</p><p>There was a pause before he finally relented.</p><p>“Alright, you can come.” And as I exploded with a scream, I heard and felt the telling signs of Geoff reaching his own climax in my ass at nearly the same time. Ryan didn’t stop talking to me, however. “There’s a good girl, ride it out…”</p><p>I struggled not to allow my knees to collapse beneath me, but thankfully managed to stay in position somehow as I felt Geoff sink deep into me one last time before leaving me vacant. I was still swimming with pleasure even as Ryan helped me to kneel up. Because I was coated mostly in oil and their hands were still covered, the three of us were pretty slippery but we managed to coordinate ourselves to all stand upright and the two men managed to pull their jeans and boxer-briefs back up properly.</p><p>“Ry…” I said breathlessly as we walked slowly back towards the house and Geoff held on to my leash that was still attached to my choker. I felt so weak at the knees I was barely convinced I was going to make it. “Isn’t it…illegal…to fuck in public? I know we’re on private property but people still could have seen us…”</p><p>“Yeah,” he replied, clearly wondering what my point was. “Oh…you’re referring to the footpath over there? It’s not actually public, Geoff’s friends own all of this land. There was never any risk of anyone actually seeing us.” He smirked at my shock.</p><p>“You <em>lied</em> to me?” I laughed, watching as Geoff began to laugh too, clearly having been in on this. Now that I thought about it, it did seem odd that they would both purposefully put us all in a potentially illegal situation where anybody could record us on their phone and report us to the police for public indecency. </p><p>“Before you woke up this morning,” Ryan explained as we stepped into the warmer kitchen and ambled up the carpeted stairs, “we checked out the yard, made sure the grass and ground was clear and fine to be barefoot on. We also came up with that lie because we know how much you like the idea of being fucked in front of strangers.”</p><p>“You knew I was going to talk back to you and be all disobedient?” I asked, tilting my head as they walked me into the bathroom. </p><p>With a chuckle, Ryan shook his head. “No, I didn’t know you were going to push me. I thought it’d be real easy to turn you on by baiting you with the public path lie once I got you on your leash, but I didn’t know you were going to act all defiant and make things worse for yourself.” He reached to stroke my face gently. “For the record though…you made it even more fun.”</p><p>With a grin, I watched as he stripped. “Are we gonna shower?” </p><p>“You need cleaning up,” Geoff smiled, eying my face before his eyes slid down to my body. “You’ve got dirt on your cheek.”</p><p>Giggling as I caught sight of myself in the mirror, I realised he was right. My hair was also a mess and I felt greasy now that the coconut oil was drying slightly - I definitely desperately needed to cleanse. After Geoff had detached my leash and removed my choker, I stepped into the large cubicle shower, expecting one of them to follow me in. I didn’t expect them <em>both</em> to follow me in.</p><p>“I thought you guys didn’t ever want to shower together, even with me in the middle?” I asked with raised eyebrows as Ryan reached to turn on the water. </p><p>“Fuck it,” Geoff shrugged. “Maybe I don’t give a shit any more. You were right before, how can we come in front of each other and not stand in a shower washing in front of each other?”</p><p>“So if I got out…” I beamed, watching for his inevitable reaction. “You’d be fine…right?”</p><p>He shot me a sheepish grin. “Don’t you dare. Then it’s just me and Ryan in the shower together being gay,” he said as Ryan laughed and adjusted the water temperature since he was nearest the wall. </p><p>“Yeah, don’t leave us in here alone,” he added with amusement. </p><p>After my wash this morning, I’d left my new shampoo and shower gel in here that my guys had brought with them in their duffel bag. Watching as Geoff reached for it, I realised that I wasn’t going to have to do much as the pair began to gently rub down my body and attentively wash my hair between them, obviously now aiming to look after me following the rough treatment in the yard. </p><p>“You okay?” Ryan asked in my ear after a few minutes, kissing along my wet shoulder after I’d rinsed my hair, his hands on my sides as Geoff stood before me with a soapy sponge on his own chest while he cleaned himself. </p><p>“I’m good,” I sighed contentedly, turning my head to meet his lips with mine briefly. “That was all uhm…well…you’re…” I didn’t really know how to describe how much I’d loved everything he and Geoff had just done.</p><p>“The best?” He smirked in suggestion, cocking an eyebrow. </p><p>“Yeah,” I replied with a nod as Geoff smiled and moved the sponge from himself to my chest. “You’re both the best. You’re so great when you’re all rough.”</p><p>“And you’re so hot when you get all submissive,” Geoff responded, rubbing the sponge lightly over my entire front perhaps more sensually than was strictly necessary for cleaning purposes. “You’re fuckin’ sexy.”</p><p>I cleared my throat as Ryan leaned to kiss my neck now, nipping lightly here and there as though he couldn’t resist wanting to be gentle now in the aftermath of his dominance. “I think you’re talking about yourself.”</p><p>“Nah, he’s definitely talking about you,” Ryan murmured, his hands sliding down to my hips. “You’re intoxicating, cutie.”</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0077"><h2>77. Understanding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Your dad is bit of a tool. You also have your second shrink appointment and she gives you some advice you’re not sure you can follow.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I cleared my throat awkwardly because the tension in the room was getting to be too damn much. Across the swanky cream-themed living room on the leather sofas, my mom was lounging comfortably with my biological father who was smiling at my sister and I in a way that implied he wanted me to keep the peace. </p><p>Mom had been living here in Austin for over a year now, hiding from Hanna and I that she had reunited with him after decades of not knowing where the hell he had been. It turned out he had been with another woman up until she had sadly died, contacting us precisely zero times during this and leading us to believe that he was just gone forever as a deadbeat dad. Add to this that we now suddenly had two identical twin sisters who appeared to dislike us just for existing and you had a pretty dysfunctional family. </p><p>Hanna had persuaded me to come today after our mother in turn had guilted her into coming. I was here out of moral support for her and pretty much nothing else because every moment I spent in my father’s presence was irritating me - all he had done was boast about his accomplishments and life, as if to rub our noses in what he’d achieved without us.</p><p>“You should have brought Geoff, it would have been great,” Hanna whispered to me as we sat on the adjacent sofa, the four of us watching television casually after a meal as though everything was totally normal. Both Tessa and Mia had bolted upstairs the moment they had finished eating to avoiding spending any more additional time with us, so I guessed that even as young adults they still lived at home - not that there was anything wrong with that necessarily. And when the house was this swanky I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were in no rush to move out. </p><p>“No, it would have been horrendous,” I corrected her, knowing exactly how it would have gone. In my mind I played through the scenario on fast-forward, with my mom hating everything he was and voicing her very bigoted opinions while he attempted to get to know a man who had walked out of my life when I was four and had now decided he wanted back in with a hundred percent more money.</p><p>Wishing I wasn’t here in this ridiculously expensive posh house because I felt so out of place, I wondered suddenly if that was part of why my mother had forgiven Samual so easily - he was clearly rich, though where his money had come from I didn’t know.</p><p>“So, what did you say that you did again?” Samual asked me outright, his eyes sliding from the television to me as I shuffled uncomfortably under his gaze. “For a living, I mean. Your mom mentioned something about media production.”</p><p>“I work for a company called Rooster Teeth,” I replied, not really wanting to strike up a conversation with him but feeling too socially awkward not to politely answer him when he was asking me a question so directly. “They started small years ago but they’ve gotten a little bigger since. I work in a team who creates and edits media.”</p><p>“That’s certainly not your average Walmart checkout girl job,” he smiled appraisingly, which made me feel slightly sick because the last thing I needed was his approval. “How did you get into that career?”</p><p>His tone that implied that he would have been disappointed if I was ‘just a checkout girl’ irritated me. I still didn’t really want to make conversation, but then I remembered what Geoff had said in the shower in LA: <em>“I’m not saying forgive him or be best friends with him, but maybe give him a shot.”</em> With a resigned sigh, I responded.</p><p>“I was making Youtube videos in college back home, just funny acting and skit stuff,” I shrugged. “One of the heads of the company saw my channel, got into contact with me and we arranged an interview over the web. I got the job shortly after and moved here to Austin.”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s internet-famous,” Hanna grinned, nudging me playfully before turning her attention back to Samual. “What do you do, though? You’ve obviously got one hell of a lot of money to throw around here.” She indicated to her surroundings in an off-hand way.</p><p>“Hanna!” Mom chided her a little, disapprovingly. </p><p>“It’s okay, she’s just very direct, a little like Tessa,” Samual laughed, shaking his head. “I’ve built up my own investment company.”</p><p>Hanna brushed off the comparison to her half sister whom we didn’t even know. “Is that what you were doing after you left us? Must have had a lot more free time to do that, huh?”</p><p><em>“Hanna!”</em> Mom was now glaring at her with eyes that were demanding that she stop speaking to him with such attitude, though why she felt like she had the right to do this I had no idea. He had left all three of us, including her.</p><p>“I already apologised for that and I can’t change the past,” Samual replied, an oddly wistful look crossing his features. “But yes, I followed my dreams. And now I have around eighty million dollars in my bank account, so I must have done something right.” Again, he laughed as though this was hilarious, my mom tittering along too.</p><p>My jaw dropped almost to the floor at this eye-watering amount of money. That kind of sum could do so much for so many; it could change the lives of everyone I knew and then some. I imagined the feeling for a second, of not ever having to worry about bills or rent or anything like that ever again. Then I pictured what a hospital could do with that kind of money in terms of staff, equipment and supplies. </p><p>“Do you do charity work?” I blurted before I could stop myself, “because Rooster Teeth and its community support a charity every year called Extra Life that donates towards children’s hospitals in the United States and Canada and you could really help with that kind of money.”</p><p>“I do, as a matter of fact,” Samual smiled. “But children’s hospitals, you say? I will definitely look into that.”</p><p>My sister was still looking dumbstruck right as my phone began to buzz in my pocket. Excusing myself semi-politely, I took the call out into the bright fancy kitchen, its sleek black appliances contrasting with the pine cabinets and counters. Perching on a barstool and leaning my arms on the island counter, I spoke into my phone as I absently watched Samual’s maid clean the oven.</p><p>“Hey Lindsay, ‘sup?” </p><p>Chirpily, she replied whilst I became aware of some noise in her background. “Hey! How’s it going with your dad?”</p><p>Knowing that if I had told Geoff, he would have insisted on coming and if I had told Ryan, he would have insisted I didn’t go, I hadn’t informed either of them about today. I had however felt the need to confide in someone, so I’d told someone else that I trusted. </p><p>“Eh, we had dinner and he was a pompous prick,” I said quietly. “Told us all about his life with our half-sisters and more recently, our Mom and then bragged about how he’s rich. How’s your day going?”</p><p>“Damn,” Lindsay sighed, apparently understanding my qualms. “Michael, Gavin and I are up at my parents’ ranch in Dallas for the weekend.” Something clattered loudly and she promptly swore.</p><p>I grinned. “Speaking of rich…” I was only teasing her because in reality while her parents were very well-off, she never liked to associate herself with their wealth, admirably preferring to work for her own money and earn her own way. </p><p>“Shush,” she told me. “Gavin’s already spent the morning telling me how ‘ridiculously big’ my parents’ house is, don’t you start.”</p><p>With a giggle, I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me. “I’ve never been there but I’ll take his word for it.”</p><p>“How’re things going with Ryan and Geoff?” she inquired out of the blue, obvious curiosity in her voice as she deflected. “Still having threesomes?”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, Lindsay,” I closed my eyes, my cheeks growing hot as I lowered my face into my palm. “Things are going great, thanks for asking.”</p><p>I heard her chuckle. “Oh come on, you never give me any details. What’s Ryan like? Is Geoff into anything weird?”</p><p>The thing with Lindsay was, I’d come to expect her to ask these sorts of questions - we all had. I’d given her nothing to go on for months and she had always been far too curious and perverted for her own good, the combination of which often lead to her Googling things she wished she never had. Unfortunately for us, that usually wound up in us being informed of such things that made us want to bleach our brains immediately afterwards. </p><p>“What do you mean, ‘what’s Ryan like’?” I asked, avoiding the Geoff question because I had no idea how to answer it. </p><p>“I mean, he’s always so reserved most of the time. He’s super cagey about sexual subjects and I just wondered if he’s actually an animal in the bedroom,” she answered simply as I heard Michael proclaim something to Gavin in the background.</p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re not totally wrong. Although less animal and more…domineering.” </p><p>“That checks out,” she replied, sounding unsurprised. “Does he spank you like a naughty schoolgirl?” </p><p>“Oh god, shut up,” I sniggered, because she was right on the money. “I’m not having this discussion.”</p><p>“I bet Geoff’s into all kinds of kinky stuff, he told me once he went to this sex club to watch a show,” Lindsay giggled. “Apparently all kinds of stuff happened there, real Fifty-Shades stuff.”</p><p>Observing as the middle-aged brunette maid paid me no attention and took the trash outside, I cleared my throat. “Yeah, he told me about that too.” I didn’t mention how much it had turned me on and had been followed by some great roleplay sex. </p><p>“I talked to Michael but he didn’t see the point in it and suggested just watching porn,” she added. “Not that I would ever go to one anyway. The one Geoff was on about is way too hardcore for me, I’m not into all that ropes and chains stuff.”</p><p>Pressing my lips together, I said nothing for a second. Sometimes I wondered how people could derive pleasure from such plain, vanilla sex. I’d had it in the past with Ian, but though it had been nice and everything…the pleasure didn’t even compare with how I felt when I was with Ryan and Geoff. The exhilaration of being bound, being told what to do, being punished with pain that for some reason felt so good, being fucked hard enough that you almost forgot what year it was…it was so much better to me. And it wasn’t as though I was missing out on the love element either; both of them could be plenty sweet too.</p><p>“I didn’t know I was until I tried it,” I smiled slyly. “Or rather, until Ryan introduced me to it.”</p><p>I heard Lindsay gasp a little down the phone. “Really? <em>Ryan?</em> But he’s…he’s so…he’s such a…Dad. I can see him being all ‘in charge’ but <em>kinky</em>?”</p><p>Breaking into laughter, I saw her shocked face in my mind’s eye in much the same way that Meg had reacted to knowing that I’d been intimate with Ryan roughly in the storage closet at work weeks ago. “You have no goddamn idea.”</p><p>***</p><p><br/>Monday morning brought with it so much rain that I wondered briefly if this might be the most rain we’d had in months in Austin. Tugging my jacket hood up over my head and breaking into a jog, I headed into the lobby of the office building my therapist was working in. Slightly damp and with a small shiver, I hit the elevator button for the fourth floor and dashed over to the office door with such speed that I nearly ran into it.</p><p>“Ah, there you are. I was beginning to think you might not be coming.” Doctor Honn was seated on one of the two black opposing couches, the coffee table in the middle scattered with some papers and a big glass vase of bright flowers that hadn’t been there last week. </p><p>“No, I’m just late, sorry,” I breathed, dropping my bag and sitting down awkwardly. “I got held up.”</p><p>This was the truth - Rex had decided to chew his way through <em>three</em> pairs of Geoff’s shoes and with true frustration, Geoff had nearly lost it. Millie and I had taken the dog out for a walk while he calmed down, giggling about the fact that her dad had so many pairs of shoes anyway that it would barely make a difference and that he would soon soften back up because at heart, he adored Rex. </p><p>“That’s okay,” Doctor Honn smiled, her perfect crisp black pencil skirt and white ironed blouse making her look as professional as ever. “Last time, we established that you are perhaps fairly masochistic in your sexual tendencies and are also very reliant on others in general life.”</p><p>Wow, we were sure diving right into this. “I’m not that reliant, I lived on my own for years while I worked at the company. Really it’s only recently that I’ve become so…needy, I guess.”</p><p>Nodding a little, Doctor Honn made a note. “And do you think that’s related to the gunshot wound you sustained four months ago?”</p><p>Pondering for a moment, I stared at the blooms before me that I knew to be lilies. I didn’t know much about flowers but they were one of the few I could recognise and actually name. They were beautiful and alive, their yellow stamens poking out as their pale pink petals draped out wide around them. They contrasted so blatantly with the incident which had been messy, ugly and dark.</p><p>“Probably,” I shrugged. “I can’t stop having nightmares about people I love dying either, so that doesn’t help.”</p><p>“What happened right after you sustained the bullet wound, do you remember?” Doctor Honn asked, pushing her glasses further up onto her nose as she observed me. </p><p>“Confusion,” I frowned, recalling how I’d thought in the moment that Geoff had been shot rather than me. My stomach twisted horribly as the image of him cradling me in his arms and weeping flashed through my mind. “I saw Gavin jump at Ellie to get the gun off of her and Geoff was holding me and was trying to stem the bleeding.”</p><p>“And in that precise second, how did you feel?”</p><p>I frowned more, wondering what the hell she was getting at. Nonetheless, I remembered exactly how I had felt - strangely relieved. “Rather me than Geoff. He might not have survived the wound.” I said it very casually, but it seemed as though I’d said what she had been expecting me to say because she sighed. </p><p>“You had no fear of dying, even when you technically were?” she inquired, as though intrigued by my lack of fear. “You could well have not survived the wound either.”</p><p>“I had a better chance.” The moment the words left my lips I realised that back in that bedroom with Gavin and Geoff I had accepted that I would get hurt and had encouraged it even, because rather me than them. </p><p>
  <em>"Don’t talk shit, Ellie!” Geoff growled, despite her still having the gun trained on him. “You don’t love him, you love to control him!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She shook her head, glancing back at the older man, perfectly displaying how dangerously volatile she was currently as her tone switched straight back to accusing and angry. “You aren’t involved in this, you don’t need to get hurt.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re right, he’s not,” I spoke up, desperate for her to stop pointing the fucking gun at him as Geoff glanced at me in fear.</em>
</p><p>“Are you always that logical in stressful situations?” Doctor Honn asked as the scenario played through my head on repeat and made my heart ache.</p><p>“No, but I had a little time to think while she was rambling,” I shrugged. “She was intent on hurting one of us and it was my fault she was there. So I made her point it at me.”</p><p>“You keep saying that it was your fault,” Doctor Honn interjected before I could continue. “Don’t you see how the fault was entirely on Ellie and not yourself?”</p><p>“I…” I hesitated.</p><p>“She acted of her own accord out of warped jealousy. You just happened to be the target of that jealousy. That doesn’t make you responsible - you were victimised,” Doctor Honn told me bluntly. “You need to accept that or you’ll never get past it.”</p><p>Seeing her point, I said nothing and continued to gaze at the lilies. “Geoff asked me to move in with him.”</p><p>There was a pause as Doctor Honn silently acknowledged my change of subject but didn’t object to it. “Do you want to move in with him?”</p><p>“Well, it’s complicated,” I tilted my head a little as I tried to find the words to explain to her. “The agreement would be that I live with him and Ryan half the time each, since I’m with them both. The pair get along but not well enough for us to share a house together and they each have children from previous marriages that stay with them a lot, so there’s that.”</p><p>“And…” Doctor Honn consulted her notes, “are you okay with that?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded immediately, meeting her eyes. “I mentioned moving in slow. They seemed okay with that. And by that I mean not selling my flat for a while, moving my stuff over bits at a time.”</p><p>“In your history that we discussed last time in length before we got down to the nitty-gritty, you told me you’d always been very independent. Your sister lived hours away, your mother states away as far as you knew. You moved thousands of miles for a job that you admitted was a bit of a gamble, all by yourself after getting given the job on your own merit. Yet recently, you have been craving constant companionship and intimacy,” Doctor Honn summarised, surprising me slightly. Her notebook must have been riddled with facts about me already from everything I had told her over only one and a half sessions. “You barely ever get left alone now, what with your sister living in your flat and you staying so often at Ryan and Geoff’s houses. I want you to think about the ‘you’ that you were before you got shot and tell me; how would that have made you feel to never have any time alone?”</p><p>With sudden realisation, I confessed the truth on this angle that I hadn’t considered before now. “Suffocated.”</p><p>I had always been one to need my space and alone time in my life previously, almost as though I had a social ‘gauge’ that had a limit. When that cup filled for the day, I would be exhausted emotionally and would need to retreat to a place with only my own company. Months ago I had considered - during a conversation with Barbara - the prospect of moving in with either Geoff or Ryan. At the time, I had dismissed it with a hard ‘no’ for a few reasons, the main one being that I knew I wasn’t ready to give up my personal space and total independence. </p><p>And yet now here I was, barely able to sleep a night alone and wanting to willingly sacrifice all of that. Was it love or post-traumatic stress? I settled with myself that it was probably both.</p><p>“It is your choice, of course,” Doctor Honn responded, raising her eyebrows somewhat. “But I would recommend that you maybe don’t move in with these guys until you first tackle your issues. It’s my concern that if you do, you’ll come to regret it as you return more to your normal self.”</p><p>I bit my lip. “But I…need them.”</p><p>“It’s okay to,” she nodded. “To a point. But with you, I fear that you need them so much that it has become a little unhealthy. I know you work with them both but I’m proposing that over the coming week before our next session, you work on this. Try to have some nights alone if you can.”</p><p>“But the nightmares are so bad,” I mumbled, my eyes dropping to the floor in dismay. “I need them to hold me when I wake up in the night thinking someone else in my life is dead, especially when it’s one of them. I hate being alone.”</p><p>“You need to create your own coping mechanisms,” Doctor Honn told me firmly, though not unkindly. “Things to turn to when you don’t have Ryan or Geoff.”</p><p>Blinking, I recalled how I used to deal with thunderstorms - by putting in earphones and listening to music whilst curling up under my duvet in bed, regardless of the time of day. Sitting in the dark also helped to calm me, even when I was alone and I had quite regularly used to use this technique to quell my anxiety and self-treat it. After explaining this, Doctor Honn nodded approvingly. </p><p>“Whatever works best for you but try not to run to your partners at every given opportunity, as tempting as that might be. You need to learn to rely on yourself again.”</p><p>Leaving the office with a new found sense of hope, I made the resolve that I would beat these damn haunting nightmares that refused to dissipate. The Ellie thing hadn’t been my fault, I finally saw that, but distancing myself from my guys was going to be much more difficult.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0078"><h2>78. Gesture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Uh oh, somebody snitched. Also, Ryan shows his softer side.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Traipsing to work right after my morning shrink appointment now that the rain had stopped, I realised that there was a slightly odd atmosphere upon entering the office and sitting down between Ryan and Jack at my desk. Shoving my shoulder bag underneath by my feet and switching on my computer, I glanced across at Geoff who was typing rapidly. </p><p>“Everything okay?” I asked the room tentatively, because nobody had so much as looked up as I’d entered, let alone greeted me. I didn’t expect a chorus of ‘welcome’ or anything, but jeez.</p><p>“Check your email,” muttered Ryan, who was busy editing one of our Grand Theft Auto videos whilst scoffing a powdered donut with his free hand. </p><p>Confused, I clicked around quickly and reached my company email where I had several new messages. This was normal, but what wasn’t was the one flagged as ‘IMPORTANT’ that was sitting atop the rest, having been prioritised by my inbox due to how it had been marked by the sender. My stomach lurched. </p><p>Scanning through the content, I felt like the temperature in the room had risen several degrees. In a nutshell, the higher-ups at the company were aware that sexual activity had been happening on the premises and though mercifully no names had been mentioned, there was threat of job termination if caught in such an act, since it went against policy so severely. </p><p>“Rest in peace, Bang Closet,” I whispered to Ryan who smirked a little, his lips adorably coated with sugar while I yanked off my hoodie hotly. </p><p>“No sex in the middle of the day for you,” he murmured back, causing me to cast him an amused look.</p><p>“None for you either,” I pointed out with satisfaction as he took another big bite of his donut. “Where’d you get that from, by the way?”</p><p>“Kitchen, somebody left us some,” he shrugged, making me seriously contemplate getting back up to fetch one. “Free food.”</p><p>“Oh, are you reading the email?” Jack asked smugly as he leaned over, thankfully not having heard my mutterings with Ryan. “We all got it. Guess you’re all gonna have to keep in your pants now.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks Jack, I realise that,” I replied a little snarkily, because he had that tone of voice that screamed ‘if I can’t have fun at work with my significant other, neither can you’. “We weren’t the only ones to use it though.”</p><p>I didn’t know this to be a hard fact, but it surely had to be true. Word had travelled so fast about the storage room’s reputation that there had to have been other curious couples; I knew already that Barbara and Trevor had used it during the office Christmas party in some capacity. </p><p>“Jesus, what is this, a brothel?” he shook his head a little disapprovingly, but all I could do was giggle. Relief was flooding me now because we hadn’t been publicly outed or fired and as long as we didn’t use it again, we were safe.</p><p>“No money is exchanged, Jack, please,” Ray grinned in response to this, even though with Tina not working for Rooster Teeth he couldn’t possibly have used the closet unless he was cheating on her, which I heavily doubted. </p><p>“What are we filming today?” Michael piped up from across the room, interrupting our conversation with a change of subject. “I thought about Cloudberry Kingdom, since Geoff has to go to a meeting.”</p><p>“Ahhh, the world’s most frustrating game?” I grinned, knowing that this was a Let’s Play that Ryan, Gavin, Michael and Jack would often fall back on when Geoff wasn’t going to be present. It was an addictive yet unforgiving simple platformer that required good short-term memory and dexterity to play, so watching them was hilarious at the best of times, especially since they often took months off of playing it and went back not remembering any of the level methods. It also wasn’t one I had ever been a part of, but I had things to edit anyhow so I didn’t take this personally. </p><p>“[Y/N] could fill in for Gavin not being here,” Jack spoke up, though I had never played the game before and was pretty confident that I would be awful at it. </p><p>“What about doing a silly GTA video?” I suggested instead. “Ray’s here too, Cloudberry has a local co-op max of four players.”</p><p>“I don’t know, what did Trevor say the audience wanted more of lately?” Jack mused aloud as he got up to poke his head around the support room door in order to ask.</p><p>“Hey, I’m busy,” Ray said casually, despite the fact that he didn’t look it at all because he had Destiny loaded up on his screen. “I’ll edit for a bit.”</p><p>“Why don’t we just film Minecraft without Geoff and Gavin?” Ryan shrugged, licking his fingers one by one because they were covered in powdered sugar and causing me to stare at him a little. “We’re all gonna be here except him and I guess Ray, it makes no sense to play something that’s only four players.” With a glance sideways, he caught me looking and raised an eyebrow as he continued to do it.</p><p>With a small blush, I made a deliberate effort to look elsewhere, my mind filled with filthy thoughts.</p><p>“Nobody wants to watch Minecraft without Gavin and Geoff, come on,” Michael scoffed. “Especially not without Gavin.”</p><p>“Okay, but we should film <em>something</em>,” Jack pointed out, still standing in the doorway of the support room while he half-listened to us and conversed with Trevor at the same time.</p><p>“Want a donut too?” Ryan asked me, leaving his seat too to presumedly stroll to the kitchen since nobody was agreeing on anything currently. “I’ll bring you one.”</p><p>“Sure,” I beamed, watching as Geoff continued to focus on his monitor screen and nothing else, his inked hands still flying across his keyboard. Every now and then he would pause, his face full of thought as he composed what was obviously an important email. </p><p>“What the fuck is wrong with my computer?” Michael roared suddenly, pushing himself back in his chair away from his desk as he threw his hands up in frustration. “Nothing’s loading and it’s being all weird and- oh fuck my ASSHOLE!”</p><p>With bemusement, we all turned to see what he was talking about only to see that his desktop computer seemed to have blue-screened itself to death. </p><p>“What the fuck?” Jack laughed, returning from his consultation with the support room. “Why’s your PC done that?”</p><p>“I don’t have any fucking idea man,” Michael growled, crawling under his desk to attend to the power cable and reboot the whole thing in the hopes of fixing it. From this angle, Gavin was able to point a small Nerf gun directly at his vulnerable jean-clad ass, which he promptly fired much to Michael’s anger.</p><p>“GAVIN, I swear to fucking god I’ll kill you!” he yelled while he PC restarted after being manually unplugged, scrambling back out from underneath his desk and lunging for the other lad. Normally such an act wouldn’t have provoked such a huge response from him, but this was on top of his annoyance already boiling over.</p><p>Ryan re-entered the room to chaos while holding a Diet Coke can and another donut, the latter of which he handed to me. Gratefully I took it and, noticing that his eyes were still on me, took a bite purposefully in slow-motion while making an ‘mmmm’ noise and closing my eyes at the same time. </p><p>“Oh it’s <em>so</em> good,” I grinned, meeting his eyes. </p><p>“You’re making me want a third donut,” Ryan sighed, his eyes accusing but also full of humour.</p><p>“You’re making him want something alright,” Ray smirked, watching my almost inappropriate display of eating as I snickered and Gavin fell off of his swivel chair in the background with Michael on top of him.</p><p>“Well you’re not totally wrong,” Ryan grinned before getting distracted by the scuffle across the room because it had escalated somewhat.</p><p>“Trey thinks we should record GTA in absence of Geoff and with Ray and [Y/N] busy on other stuff,” Jack announced, though Michael was still struggling with his computer. “How long d’you think it’ll take you to finish your stuff?”</p><p>This question was directed at me, so after swallowing a mouthful of sweet doughy goodness, I replied. “Couple of hours, probably.”</p><p>“Okay, why don’t us four do Cloudberry in the meantime,” Jack suggested, looking between Ryan and then turning to the two lads that were still on the floor, laughing at this point and trying to wrestle the Nerf gun off of one another like children. “And GTA after.”</p><p>After setting up Gavin’s Xbox and hooking it up to the main television in the office for a better local co-op experience as always, they began to play and quickly remembered just how difficult of a game it truly was with what seemed like several deaths per second happening and a lot of noises of discontent and laughter accompanying this. </p><p>Something that the British lad notably did during Cloudberry Kingdom recordings was ask Ryan about unusual things he had in his house, which for Gavin was far from strange if you knew him even a little bit. Part of me knew why this was, because I had also been intrigued before I had gotten to know Ryan intimately and would often join in on the questions: he had been - and in some ways still was - a bit of an enigma when it came to his personal life. </p><p>“Ryan, do you own a top hat?” </p><p>With his usual bewildered tone at the randomness of the question, Ryan responded with ‘no’ but proceeded to tell him that he did have a cowboy hat at his mother’s house back in Georgia for some reason, probably dating back to college. This was followed by many more in-game deaths and much yelling from Michael.</p><p>“What about…okay wait. Ryan?” Gavin asked after a pause, as though he wasn’t sure he had the older man’s attention due to the gameplay intensity. </p><p>“Yo.”</p><p>“Do you own any sex toys?” </p><p>In true Ryan fashion, rather than giving the room (and audience) a truthful answer that he didn’t want to publicly reveal, he turned the question around.</p><p>“Do you?”</p><p>That had backfired spectacularly, because we both knew that Gavin probably did through extension of Meg secretly being his Dom in the bedroom, but even as the lad’s cheeks went a pale shade of pink, he had the good grace to laugh it off and bravely persist anyway. </p><p>“I’m asking you, Ryan.”</p><p>In the background, Geoff suddenly called over, 'That’s a yes!' which made everybody collapse laughing.</p><p>With tact, I sneaked a glance at Ry as he obviously silently made a decision, though his face was impassive.</p><p>“No. I don’t have any sex toys, Gavin.”</p><p>This was a wise answer; to say ‘yes’ would have sparked a whole new conversation about what they were, not to mention the community’s thirst for more information on this new side of Ryan’s private life. I was positive he didn’t want to invite all of that, so lying was the best solution. </p><p>“What about one of those curly-spiky knives?” Gavin continued whilst ignoring Geoff as I turned back away with faint amusement and put my headphones on to begin working on my edit of a Let’s Play.</p><p>“‘Curly-spiky knife?” Ryan repeated in confusion. “What?”</p><p>“He means like a cheese knife,” Michael translated with a sigh at Gavin’s terrible description. “He’s asking if you have a cheese knife.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what I meant,” Gavin defended himself as the group made attempt after attempt at the same insanely difficult level. “Obvious.”</p><p>“It’s not obvious at all, stupid,” Michael muttered as I began to tune them out in order to concentrate on what I was doing.</p><p>The day passed with nobody being able to fix Michael’s computer, resulting in him having no choice but to order a new one. With help from Ryan he was able to recover recorded footage from his hard drive, but had to resort to using Geoff’s setup for the day as we went ahead with GTA later on. Geoff had disappeared off pretty early to attend his meeting but as the hours passed and we finished up, I noticed that Ryan had been begun to casually reference me going back to his place with him tonight once we were off of any cameras and microphones, as though he didn’t expect I would say no.</p><p>As we left the office room I bit my lip, feeling conflicted. “My shrink told me I need to rely on you guys less,” I mumbled. </p><p>Chuckling a little, Ryan shot me an amused look. “‘Rely’ on us less? What?”</p><p>“Y’know,” I shrugged. “I stay with you both a lot at night. And she thinks I’ve become…unhealthy with it and that I need to uh…work on alternative coping mechanisms when I have nightmares.” Even as I said it, I could tell from the look on his face that he was going to shoot this down as ridiculous and dismiss it. And I wanted him to.</p><p>“Huh…” he paused as we left the building and headed into the parking lot. “Well normally I’d be all for following what your therapist says but in this case…”</p><p>Folding my arms and stopping as he zipped up his dark jacket and reached into his bag for his car keys, I groaned internally. I wanted nothing more than to spend the evening and night with him.</p><p>“I should probably follow her advice though,” I rolled my eyes, really not wanting to do this. “Right?”</p><p>“I don’t understand, she thinks you have an unhealthy attachment to us?” he tilted his head. “Maybe you just love us and like spending time with us, why is that wrong?”</p><p>“Because I used to be so independent and it’s a stark contrast to how I used to like being on my own,” I nodded. “She thinks my getting shot has contributed to a personality change and that I never dealt with that.” </p><p>“So you’re saying that I’m <em>bad</em> for you?” he quirked an eyebrow with a slight smile. “And that you shouldn’t come home with me because your therapist ‘said so’?”</p><p>“Uh…yeah…” I trailed off, because he was looking at me a little mischievously. </p><p>“Oh no,” he said softly, his tone teasing and his eyes wide. “What are you going to do now that I’m forbidden fruit?”</p><p>He knew exactly what I was going to do, though I couldn’t help but giggle at his dorky side.</p><p>“She didn’t say I <em>can’t</em> spend time with you, just that I need to spend a little time alone again. She specifically told me to sleep on my own some nights this week,” I replied sheepishly as he began to walk over to his car slowly. </p><p>“Okay fine, but that doesn’t have to be tonight,” he said as I followed him and jumped on this statement. </p><p>“Right,” I agreed eagerly, shrugging as he unlocked his vehicle. “I can do that tomorrow or something.”</p><p>“Sure,” he answered, but I could tell that this was the kind of ‘sure’ he gave when he doubted something heavily. It almost bordered on sarcastic, but I chose to ignore it until he followed up with his next sentence. “Except that you can’t stay away from us.”</p><p>This would normally have been an extremely cocky statement and in a lot of ways still was, but it was also entirely true. If someone had offered me money to walk away from his car right now and head in the direction of my flat alone, I would have turned them down no matter the amount. So instead, I climbed into the front passenger seat as he eyed me with a smile. </p><p>“Shut up,” I muttered in defeat, but he merely laughed and started the engine while I strapped in. </p><p>***</p><p>That evening we were both craving chicken as the two of us occupied the kitchen, with a pot boiling water on the stove for carrots and potatoes while the oven pre-heated for the meat. At first Ryan had sweetly insisted on making the dinner himself, but I stubbornly refused to do nothing. </p><p>His kitchen knives were razor sharp and elegant as I examined one in particular, made from one piece of steel with no plastic to make a handle like some cheaper ones usually had. They were probably bought as an expensive set and sliced down through almost anything with very little resistance with was pretty satisfying. After a minute of Ryan peeling potatoes while I kept leaning over to promptly steal them in order to dice them up on a second chopping board though, he sighed heavily. </p><p>I blinked at him. “Am I annoying you by helping?” There was only one peeler, so it made sense for one of us to do that while the other cut. </p><p>“No, it’s fine,” he replied, but I could see right through this lie. </p><p>“I am though,” I shot back whilst observing his expression, but it was pretty typically hard to read. “What’s up?"</p><p>“No it’s…I wouldn’t have chopped the potatoes like that,” he commented with a shrug. </p><p>“What’s wrong with them?” I asked slightly defensively, looking down at my cubes.</p><p>“Nothing,” he answered lightly. “I just would have cut them up into sticks.”</p><p>Sticking my tongue out at him defiantly, I carried on with the method I wanted to use because I liked it better and in the grand scheme of things, it really made absolutely no difference.</p><p>“How about you put foil on the tray for the chicken?” he suggested, not in a snappy tone but like he wanted me to leave the vegetables to him if I wasn’t going to do it specifically how he wanted. </p><p>But his comment on my chopping technique had irritated me just enough to resist against this. “How about you let me cut these up and then the carrots when you’ve peeled them and <em>you</em> can put foil on the tray for the chicken?”</p><p>With a small laugh at my retort, he gazed at me steadily with his ice blue eyes. “What’s up with you tonight?”</p><p>“Nothing, you’re just being a bit of a control freak right now- <em>motherfucker!”</em> </p><p>Red blossomed out over some of the white potato cubes as I dropped the silver knife with a clatter and clutched my hand abruptly. Daring to look at the damage through the searing pain, I peeked through my fingers at my thumb, the upper part of which was now lacking some skin. This was pretty well-hidden behind the mass of blood that was dripping from the wound though.</p><p>“Did you just cut yourself?” Ryan blinked, suddenly concerned as he watched me hotfoot it to the kitchen sink to bathe it in cold water in the hopes of soothing it. This made it sting more, somehow. “Fuck, c’mere. Let me see.”</p><p>Wincing, I moved slightly to allow him to examine my new small, yet extremely agonising wound. It was incredible how low my pain tolerance was when I was hurt in any way that wasn’t kinky because suddenly I felt like curling into a ball and crying while he acted like an adult.</p><p>“It’s not that bad, you got lucky,” he soothed calmly before ducking down to reach into some cupboards to my left. “Hold on, I’ve got something here somewhere.”</p><p>“Easy for you to fucking say,” I said through gritted teeth before whimpering pathetically because it was smarting now from the cold water. I removed my thumb from under the flow and watched the blood begin to build up again before dripping into the silver sink basin.  </p><p>“Come over here,” he instructed, placing a small first-aid kit on the kitchen table and unzipping it before rummaging around inside for a dressing and bandages. </p><p>I wandered over with my thumb aloft in front of me like a child. “God fucking damn it really hurts, Ryan. Like a lot. Like one hell of a lot. Jesus Christ,” I breathed. </p><p>He unscrewed a small tube of antiseptic cream as he sat down opposite me. “Sit and put your hand on the table. Keep it still.”</p><p>I did as he said because the pain was beginning to make me feel slightly dizzy, but when he dabbed it with tissue and applied a little pressure, I focused my attention on him instead until it stopped bleeding. </p><p>“Ow,” I muttered, hating how stupid I felt for causing myself this injury in the first place. I’d been distracted only for a split-second, but it had been long enough apparently.</p><p>“You’re okay,” he replied softly.</p><p>While he applied the cream gently to the now-clotted wound and then wrapped it with a dressing followed by a bandage, I clenched my other fist tightly and tried not to be too much of a baby.</p><p>“Done,” he finally told me, packing the kit back up but not moving for a couple of seconds as his eyes swept over my face. “You okay? You don’t look so good.”</p><p>I nodded mutely, gazing at him as he got to his feet and continued to cook, discarding the ruined potato cubes and cleaning thoroughly as he did so. A couple of deep breaths and I would feel less like throwing up, I was sure.</p><p>“Thanks for the first aid,” I mumbled after a minute or two, causing him to turn to look at me briefly with a smile.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” he replied, but I noticed he kept glancing over as though checking up on me for the next several minutes. “You don’t do well with blood, huh?”</p><p>Shaking my head, I watched as he continued to prepare the meal. “It’s not the blood, it’s the pain.”</p><p>With the carrots and potatoes boiled and placed on a tray beside the raw chicken fillets and seasoning added, he swung the oven open and slid it into the heat before setting the timer on the digital display.</p><p>“D’you want to watch some TV or play something while that cooks?” he asked me as we went through to the living room and flopped onto his sofa. “We could-“</p><p>Before he could finish what he was saying, I had shuffled over and draped myself on him, cuddling right up to his body where he sat.</p><p>With a slight grin, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, his chin coming to rest on the top of my head as I became aware of his heartbeat next to my ear. </p><p>“Or we could cuddle and then play something,” he chuckled, now having no choice but not seeming to mind too much. “How’s your thumb?”</p><p>“Better,” I replied, because the cream had soothed it somewhat beneath the dressing, though it still throbbed a bit. I felt him subtly breathe in the scent of my hair and giggled.</p><p>“Mm, you smell good,” he murmured, stroking my bare upper arm with one of his hands. “How about I distract you from that wound after dinner?” </p><p>Unable to prevent myself from grinning now despite myself, I ran my good hand hand slowly down his chest and back up to his shoulder. “And how would you do that?”</p><p>There was a slight pause before he replied. “I’m feeling sorta gentle tonight.”</p><p>I sat up a little to meet his eyes with mine, curiously. “Really?”</p><p>“We’ve been really rough lately,” Ryan continued, reaching to stroke under my chin with his fingers and trailing them up and around to my ear so lightly that it almost tickled. “And that’s great and all but I think you deserve some tenderness.” </p><p>His eye line dropped to my lips before he leaned and kissed them softly.</p><p>This comment surprised me a little even though it had happened before. I didn’t begrudge any of the times we had been driven to dirty, kinky sex (of which I had lost count) because each and every incident had been incredible, but I also sometimes appreciated gentleness as much as any other human probably did. Usually this was fulfilled for me after the fact, with Geoff and Ryan’s embraces and kisses comforting me in reassurance that they loved and cared about me no matter what happened or was said during us all getting our rocks off.</p><p>While I was musing all of this, Ryan reached to hand me an Xbox controller with a grin.</p><p>“Wanna play Halo?”</p><p>I was definitely up for this and luckily I hadn’t cut myself on the knuckle of my thumb, so I was still just about able to use a controller effectively despite the bandage. We played through a section or two before the oven began to bleep obnoxiously.</p><p>“I’ll do it,” he told me before proceeding to do so, plating up the roasted vegetables and chicken that he’d so deliciously glazed and seasoned. When he placed the plate in front of me in the dining room, I could hardly hold back long enough for him to sit down with his own before tucking in hungrily. </p><p>“This is great,” I praised him, watching as he beamed. Then I did a double-take at my plate. “Wait…”</p><p>He had - without saying anything - diced the second batch of potatoes after he had thrown out my ruined ones, because that was the way I had wanted to do it. He had definitely had the opportunity to cut them into sticks like he had planned to do while I sat uselessly at the kitchen table with my thumb stinging with pain, and yet he hadn’t.</p><p>“You cubed the potato,” I stated.</p><p>He shrugged and ate a mouthful from his fork as though it was nothing.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0079"><h2>79. Shy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Ryan follows through with his intension to be gentle, but he never promised it wasn’t going to be kinky as all hell too.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b>Explicit Content Warning</b>
</p><p><b>Daddy Kink Warning </b>(I know it’s not for everyone and this chapter is <b>heavy</b> on it. Didn’t want anyone to be blindsided even though it’s in the tags.)</p><p>A dream I had inspired this part, though sooner or later something like this was going to get written anyway.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>More time was spent on Halo after dinner, with me constantly adjusting for my bandaged thumb every time it stung in protest. Eventually this forced me to stop playing as we shut off the Xbox and flipped the television through several channels. On one there was a commercial playing for heart-shaped chocolates in a box adorned with red ribbon. </p><p>“D’you uh…” Ryan hesitated thoughtfully as I casually glanced over at him, wondering what he was going to say. “D’you like…<em>do</em> Valentine’s Day?” </p><p>This was an unexpected question, especially since it was not-quite mid-January, but I guess the TV had sparked his interest in my preferences. “Do I do it? What?”</p><p>“Well y’know, do you expect anything?” he was looking at me with curious eyes as he asked the genuine question. “I just wanna know one way or the other, that’s all. You don’t seem like the super romantic type but…I just wanna make sure, y’know?” A slightly sheepish grin crossed his face then.</p><p>“Awww,” I smiled. “If I said yes, would you get me chocolates and flowers and scatter rose petals on the bed next to a huge teddy bear?”</p><p>“Not really my style exactly,” he replied slowly. “But yeah, I guess. If you wanted. I mean, if you said to me one day, ‘Ryan, take me to a candlelit dinner’…I’d do it.”</p><p>My heart fluttered with affection for him at his willingness to make me happy but despite this, I had to make it clear I’d been joking. “You’re right though, I’m not the romantic type. I don’t really ever make a big deal out of the day, honestly and I don’t expect anything at all. Please don’t go to the trouble to do something like buying loads of roses,” I giggled as he shrugged with a laugh. “They’re expensive.”</p><p>“Hey, if that’s what you said you wanted…”</p><p>“I don’t want you to go to any trouble,” I shook my head, truthfully reassuring him.</p><p>“Okay but usually when women say that, they mean the opposite. So…?” he cocked an eyebrow at me.</p><p>“I’m telling you exactly what I mean,” I grinned, pulling my legs up onto the couch so that I could sit more comfortably with them crossed for a while. “I’m not into the whole big romantic gesture thing. Hanna loves getting the giant ‘I Wuv You’ cards and bears holding red plushie hearts but I’ve never been into that. Y’know what I’m into?”</p><p>With a smirk and without missing a beat, Ryan replied. “Oh I <em>know</em> what you’re into, cutie.”</p><p>Amused, I ignored this because I was trying to be sincere. “I’m into spending time with you and Geoff. That’s all I need. Also, I never understood why Valentine’s Day seems to be so one-sided. I mean, can’t a girl buy her guy stuff too?”</p><p>“You can buy me food if you want,” he nudged me with a jokey expression, causing me to giggle. “Orrrrr…there are things you can <em>do</em> for me instead…”</p><p>Shifting my whole body so that I could sit sideways in his lap on the sofa while the television continued to buzz like background noise to our conversation, I felt him embrace me firmly as goosebumps rose on my skin. Even though I was so used to his company now, his presence and touch still made me feel a little bit giddy.</p><p>“Like what?” I asked innocently. </p><p>“Like whatever you want to do.” He bit his lower lip as he locked eyes with me.</p><p>“Huh. Geoff doesn’t bother with it either, right? I think I remember him saying that sometime in the past…something about how ‘you should love your significant other like that every day of the year’,” I mused, registering slightly late what Ryan had just said to me and feeling inspired with playful whim.</p><p>“Oooh, y’know what would be fun?” </p><p>“Mhm?”</p><p>“Role-reversal,” I grinned. “Maybe I tie <em>you</em> up for a change.”</p><p>With a small chuckle, he tilted his head. “Long as you don’t start putting stuff in me, sure.”</p><p>Breaking into giggles, I cupped his bristly cheek with my palm. “Okay, maybe we need to get you your own safe word. Where are your boundaries, Ry-Ry?”</p><p>“I’ll think on it,” he smirked. “Now get off, I’m gonna grab a quick shower before bed.” </p><p>I had no intention of staying downstairs alone, even though that had probably been his thought since he’d left the TV remote by me. As he climbed the stairs to his bathroom, I wasn’t even sure he knew I was following him until he turned to close the door. The corner of his mouth lifted in bemusement at the sight of me. </p><p>“Hey there. Lost?”</p><p>“Not at all,” I beamed as I lifted my shirt off over my head while he watched me. I continued to undress as he did the same, the both of us still feeling slightly competitive after our gaming session and locking eyes as clothing was thrown in every direction with increasing speed. There was then a scramble for one of us to beat the other into the shower. </p><p>Finally naked, I flung the plastic curtain hanging above the bathtub aside as he grabbed at my arm in an attempt to pull me back since I hadn’t ‘won’ yet. Managing to get one leg firmly in the tub, I grabbed at the detachable shower head on the wall and reached for the dial to turn on the water desperately, really stretching to get to it. </p><p>“Oh no you don’t,” Ryan grinned, wrapping his arms around my middle and yanking me back away from the shower pretty successfully but it was too late; I’d gotten the water spraying from the head I was holding and the next thing I did was impishly point it at his face.</p><p>With a yelp and a splutter as his hands went up to shield himself, he made a blind grab for it while I broke into a giggle fit. Feeling it get snatched from my hands and redirected at me, I squealed and speedily clambered into the tub hoping he would stop, still choking on laughter. </p><p>“You’re gonna pay for that,” he told me, climbing in after me and brushing his sopping hair back with a grin while he moved to reattach the shower head to the wall. </p><p>I smiled impishly. “Sorry Ry,” I said lightly and disingenuously as he ran his fingers through my dampening hair. I expected him to grip it tight as he often did, but he seemed to choose not to in that moment as his light eyes appraised me.</p><p>“You’re lucky I’m in a forgiving mood,” he smirked, grabbing the bottle of shower gel instead. “But since I’ve got you in here…turn around.”</p><p>Casting him a doe-eyed look, I did as he had said before I felt him hold me from behind, pouring a small amount of the blue liquid down over my chest. Snapping the cap back on, his hands soon returned to my now-slick breasts, gently kneading them and flicking his thumbs over both my nipples simultaneously. This sudden sensual act had a quiet moan leaving me before I could stop it.</p><p>Because his lips were right on my ear from behind me as he continued, I felt him grin. “You’re so goddamn hot.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I smiled, closing my eyes because this closeness was everything I needed right now. His hands smoothly caressed my torso as he nipped at my neck, the scent of pleasant musk hanging in the steamy air around us. </p><p>We continued to wash properly with me remaining careful to keep my left hand out of the water, but as soon as we had towel-dried ourselves off I noticed that he was giving me a look that very clearly said ‘get into my bed’ and I had no reluctance. Still feeling playful, I scampered into his room. </p><p>“You’d better move over.” He raised his eyebrows as I spread myself out right in the centre of the mattress under the duvet on purpose to annoy him, taking up the entire bed. “Come on, make room or I’ll get out the paddle.”</p><p>With a giggle, I relented under his gaze and watched as he lifted the corner of the sheets to lay beside me, propping himself up on his elbow and smiling while I pulled the duvet up to my neck.</p><p>“We’re going to play pretend,” he murmured, his words quiet but clear.</p><p>This was his introduction to a role-play, I saw it immediately in his expression as he stroked my cheek. With an immediate nod of consent, I leaned up to kiss his lips briefly, wondering exactly what was going on in his mind.</p><p>“Hm,” he said as I pulled away, my hand on his bare shoulder. His eyes were glinting impishly. “You’d better go to sleep, it’s late and way past your bedtime. Tell Daddy why you’re still up.”</p><p>Biting my lip in sudden lust as I struggled to hide my visceral reaction, I watched as he raised an eyebrow in wait of my response. </p><p>“I…I couldn’t sleep,” I scrambled for a make-believe excuse, blushing a little at how suddenly aroused I was. </p><p>“Awww,” he smirked, pushing the duvet down my chest and revealing my upper body. “I can help with that if you lay still.”</p><p>“Okay,” I breathed, because he had already proceeded to kiss along my breast and take my nipple into his mouth while I arched a bit for him. “Oh <em>god</em>.”</p><p>With his tongue caressing so gently, I could do nothing but squirm beneath him in utter need as he took his time before finally flicking his gaze back to my face to see my reaction with a smile of obvious satisfaction. </p><p>“Does my baby girl like that?”</p><p>With a small whimper as he stroked his fingers ever so slowly over my other breast and fire rushed through me, I nodded. “Yes, Daddy.” I was absolutely burning for him but he seemed like he was in no rush.</p><p>“Mm, good,” he replied quietly, pushing the duvet further down so that he could scatter kisses across my abdomen now. “Now you’re all relaxed. Go to sleep, cutie.”</p><p>Understanding the game because he clearly wanted me to beg, I bit my lip and squirmed. “But Daddy…I…” And then I bottled it on my words, suddenly not able to say what I wanted to say while my cheeks burned as much as my core did.</p><p>He was enjoying this immensely, that much I garnered from the filthy way he was looking at me with his lips quirking in the corner - even down to the way that I was genuinely blushing at the taboo pervertedness of it. Of all of the kinky and arguably depraved things I’d done with him in the past, they all seemed easy to do in comparison to this now for some reason.</p><p>“Go on. What do you want, baby?” he coaxed me, grinning a bit as he took pause from kissing the skin of my torso. “Tell Daddy what you want him to do.”</p><p>“I…” I swallowed my sudden odd embarrassment. “Daddy, please touch me…”</p><p>Ordinarily, I would have said ‘fuck’, but I couldn’t yet bring myself to voice this. I wanted him so badly and this was arousing me so much but now that he was being so affectionate, I felt like I was in totally unfamiliar territory. I was so used to him being rough and demanding that I had allowed myself to melt into belonging to him, but right now I was hyper aware that I was the centre of attention and he was just being so damn brazen with this.</p><p>Choosing not to comment on my shyness, he peeled the duvet off of the rest of me slowly and nudged my legs apart with his hand.</p><p>“Good girl,” he praised, sliding his hand along the inside of my thigh teasingly. He sat up, his eyes drifting hungrily over my naked form before they finally settled on my mound. “You have no idea what I want to do to you right now.” His fingers slipped easily along my clit, rubbing steadily.</p><p>I was sure I could probably imagine. </p><p>Moaning, I gripped the sheets either side of my hips because it felt so good. Getting somewhat more used to the scenario now, I quietly mumbled, “Daddyyy…”</p><p>“That’s it,” he smirked encouragingly as he moved to kneel between my open legs. “Show Daddy how wet you really are.” He breathed a low noise of contentment as I yielded and watched him sink down to place his mouth onto my clit.</p><p>Nearly melting from the pleasure, I made a conscious effort to keep still for him so he could work his tongue in all of the best ways, his hands on my thighs as he stroked them lightly.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” he told me, his breath tickling lightly before he continued. “God you’re hot.”</p><p>So I <em>hadn’t</em> been imagining things when he had been licking the sugar off of his fingers earlier. </p><p>“Please…” I whimpered, because he was flicking and probing my clit with his tongue and while it was edging me closer, I needed more. At my breathless tone, he met my eyes. “I need you…”</p><p>Drawing it out, he cast me a teasing look. “You need me to what?”</p><p>Throughly blushing while I bit my lip shyly, I realised that while this was involuntary it probably only added to the image in this scenario. “I need you to fuck me, Daddy…”</p><p>With a chuckle, he climbed over me carefully and leaned down to meet my lips with his. “You’re so fucking cute,” he whispered against my mouth. “Say ‘please’, baby.”</p><p>No hesitation even entered my mind as I submitted, my eyes closing in pleasure and desire. “Please, Daddy.” </p><p>A satisfied smile on his face, he kissed slowly along my jawline to the shell of my ear, nibbling gently and teasing me half to death as he slid a hand up my side. “I want you to do something for me first.”</p><p>My innocence was becoming less of an act and more of a genuine factor as I gazed longingly at him while he drew back yet again, his palm sliding back down to my thigh. He was stroking his dick leisurely now with his other hand, knowing full-well what effect that was having on me. </p><p>“I want see you play with yourself.”</p><p>“What?” My voice was barely louder than a breath. “Really?” </p><p>“Mhm,” he nodded. Then he slowly smirked, dragging out his next words. “Right in front of Daddy.”</p><p>“Fuck,” I gasped, reaching down and immediately finding a pace that suited as I gave myself what I needed, my fingers moving in a small circular motion while his eyes drank me up. </p><p>“There’s a good girl,” he whispered, biting his lip while I moaned. </p><p>“Please fuck me…” I whined, using my free hand to grip his thigh as he knelt beside me. “Please…”</p><p>“Put your fingers in your mouth like a little whore and I’ll give you what you want right now,” he said softly, though there was an underlying commanding tone to his voice that was familiar and comforting. </p><p>Knowing that he meant the ones I’d just wetted, I obeyed and in my supremely horny state even made a show of it, licking each finger individually while he straddled me. </p><p>“Goddamn you’re such a filthy girl,” he growled near my ear, pushing into me with care as I proceeded to grip at his shoulder blades. As he started to move and I whimpered in pleasure, it only seemed to fuel his dirty talk more. </p><p>Ryan had always been one for purposefully saying things he knew turned me on and phrasing things in a certain way at that, but tonight he was being particularly perverted. Every word dripped with lust whilst accompanied by a devilish look in his eyes as I played along with him and complied with his every whim.</p><p>Undeniably soaked as he increased how hard he thrusted, he grinned a little at the lewd noises. “D’you hear that? That’s how fucking wet you are for Daddy, baby.”</p><p>This was something that happened every time we had sex, but only now was he choosing to vocalise it and that made it that much hotter, somehow.</p><p>“Mmfff,” was all I could reply because I was overtaken with so many different feelings, most notably the bliss of gratification. But somewhere in the back of my mind there was a small voice rambling about how ‘wrong’ this was because it was so taboo. I ignored it with flourish. </p><p>“Aw, does that feel good?” he simpered, picking a slow, hard pace and sticking with it for now. “Does Daddy’s dick feel good in your tight pussy, baby girl?”</p><p>Groaning, I dug my fingernails into the skin of his shoulders. “Yes,” I panted, wanting desperately for him to speed up. “Oh god yes.”</p><p>“Y’know what you’re gonna do afterwards?” he taunted, littering kisses along my collarbone and neck as he moaned a little too between sentences. “You’re gonna open your pretty mouth wide while I come in it.”</p><p>Fucking hell he was on a roll and I could not have been more into it as we both allowed ourselves to get totally carried away. “Okay Daddy, I’ll be your good girl, I promise.”</p><p>“Yeah you will,” he replied, now going a little faster. “Fuck you feel so <em>good</em>.”</p><p>Sure that I was making scratch lines on his back now, I let out a pleasured moan as I felt him brush up against my clit because he was leaning so far over me, far enough to kiss my lips between pants, far enough to meet my eyes and know that I was just as into this as he was. </p><p>And gradually, he made it clear that he was getting close while I repeatedly whimpered because he was still murmuring filthy things while I encouraged him, completely immersed in the role-play now. He knew I was closer than him after his teasing with his tongue, so while I writhed slightly he let out a low, breathless chuckle, seeing this in my expression while I began to beg.</p><p>“Come on Daddy’s cock, baby, that’s it…”</p><p>My orgasm took me abruptly despite the build-up, throwing me over the edge as I shrieked and arched, hearing Ryan audibly groan in what sounded oddly like a mixture of pleasure and pain but ignoring it as my climax overrode every single other instinct, feeling and emotion in that couple of seconds. </p><p>“Mmm, that feels amazing,” he smirked as I finally reopened my eyes to him pulling out of me, aware that he’d continued moving throughout. “On your knees, ‘atta girl.”</p><p>In a haze of absolute bliss and still feeling tingly, I slid off of the bed and to my knees as he stood in front of me, fisting his dick while I opened my mouth wide for him. It was only mere seconds before he was coating my tongue and cheeks with his cum, his groans and breathy gasps of my name ringing out loudly. Holding still and obediently looking up at him, I saw as he lost himself for a few seconds before gazing down at me again with a smile on his lips.</p><p>“Swallow,” he said quietly, running a hand through my hair gently as I did as I was told. “There’s a good girl. What do you say?”</p><p>His expectant tone told me exactly what he wanted me to reply to this.</p><p>“Thank you, Daddy,” I smiled as he plucked a few tissues from the box on the nightstand and handed them to me. </p><p>“Aw, I made a mess of your pretty face,” he smirked, moving to sit on the bed while I cleaned myself up. “Goddamn you’re amazing, y’know that?”</p><p>“And you,” I dared to pipe up with a giggle now, “are a total pervert.”</p><p>“Only as much as you are. You’re so much fucking fun,” he replied with a wink, yanking the duvet aside to indicate that I should get in. It was only as he did this that I noticed his upper back had some fairly severe scratches on it from my nails. This explained why I’d thought I’d heard him make a noise of pain a minute earlier.</p><p>“Ryan?” I asked innocently as I crawled between the sheets beside him and felt him pull me close immediately. “I’m sorry about your back.”</p><p>He chuckled, squeezing me a little as I shuffled to get comfy. “Don’t be. I kinda liked it.”</p><p>“Shocking,” I said dryly, though I was still marginally short of breath. Our body warmth combined with the ambient room temperature was too much, leading to me throwing the duvet off. Despite this, I was about as comfortable as I’d ever been in his arms. </p><p>“I think Geoff will want to take you to dinner for V-Day,” Ryan murmured after a few moments. “Occasionally he can be a traditionalist, even though he thinks the same as me in that the holiday is way over-comervialised.” </p><p>I paused, because he had just flubbed. “Over <em>what?” </em></p><p>“Shut up,” he chuckled. “You know what I meant. I’m tired.”</p><p>“You’re adorable,” I giggled, snugging up to him and hoping upon hope that tonight, for just one night, I wouldn’t have a stupid nightmare.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0080"><h2>80. Envy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Hanna hosts her new flat warming party! Gavin reveals he's secretly taken part in a dare.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Brief Explicit Content Warning</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’ve been busy,” I remarked as I ambled across the threshold of Hanna’s newly-furnished flat. It was both slightly bigger and more spacious than mine, but I wasn’t jealous - it wasn’t as cosy either. Nonetheless, it looked smart and chic with fresh furniture scattered about and clean, glossy black tiling in the kitchen. Similarly to my place, the kitchen lead seamlessly through to the living room, the whole area being one big room with the bedroom and bathroom presumably off through doors to the right, though there was a third unknown door. The light wooden flooring persisted throughout, the navy sofa set and glass tables she had chosen fitting in nicely.</p><p>“Isn’t it great?” she beamed, running a brush through her hair as she walked half-dressed back through to her bathroom while I admired the space. “It’s not huge but it’s mine.”</p><p>I knew this meant the world to her and I didn’t even need to see the glow on her face to realise that. Upstate she had lived in a sizeable suburban house with Dave, her ex-finance, but that part of her life had also lead to her being subjected to both physical and mental abuse of all kinds from that manipulative douchebag. This flat was entirely hers (mostly, she was still having to pay rent on it) and she had her own freedom even more so than when she had been living with me.</p><p>“It’s awesome,” I smiled, noticing the countless bottles of different alcohol that were sitting upon the kitchen counter ready for later. Some were already opened and partially-consumed but in the fridge there were countless mixers stacked ready to go too.</p><p>“Hey, do you think Jeremy is gonna come?” Hanna called through from the bathroom where she was standing at her sink eying her reflection in the mirror as she neatened her bob-haircut.</p><p>“Definitely, he texted me earlier,” I nodded. “Kat’s busy though, she can’t.”</p><p>Kat had jokingly messaged me to watch that her long-time boyfriend didn’t drink too much tonight, though she knew that nobody had any control over that. They had been dating since their mid-teens and she knew plenty-well that he would most likely stumble through their door at four in the morning slaughtered on alcohol, if he made it home at all.</p><p>“Michael and Lindsay are coming though,” I grinned, plonking myself down on her new couch which was way comfier than it looked; the plush fabric almost gave way as I sank into it. “I know you got along with them too at New Year’s.”</p><p>“Oh, nice! I’ve got a couple of people I know from the office coming too,” Hanna replied, grabbing the sharing-size bags of chips she had bought out of the cupboard and dropping them on the counter. “Is the guy Geoff lives with coming? The British guy?”</p><p>“Gavin? Yeah,” I nodded. “He’s also bringing Meg, his girlfriend.”</p><p>This was going to be the first time I had spent time with her in close quarters since the Christmas party and while I had seen her around a little at work, I hadn’t had the time to stop and chat with her for a few weeks except via the occasional message. Tonight though, I had the intention to stifle my attraction to her and squash it down until I no longer had the creeping thoughts of her naked in my bed. Sure, she was attractive as hell. That didn’t mean I had to act like an idiot.</p><p>“Oh, the one you kissed at the office party?” Hanna asked lightly, laughing a bit. “I was pretty trashed that night but I do remember that.”</p><p>“Yep,” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could before forcing my thoughts in a different direction. “Ryan and Geoff are too obviously. Geoff was very nearly not in the mood for it but I persuaded him.”</p><p>Geoff was quite a hermit when he wasn’t participating in work-related activities, mostly preferring to stay in during the evenings. I completely understood and even felt much the same way a lot of the time, but this party was different. It was just close friends and food - he would feel fairly comfortable I was sure.</p><p>“Is Geoff going to be okay with the amount of alcohol I have stocked?” Hanna inquired delicately while she closed the curtains because it was already dark out.</p><p>I sighed, hoping beyond hope that he would be. Recently he’d been pretty good about avoiding it unless he was drinking it when I wasn’t around, which I sincerely wanted not to be the case. “He’ll be okay.”</p><p>The first to arrive were Michael and Lindsay together, who had brought a couple of six-packs of beers with them and were in great spirits. Lindsay in particular was practically bouncy as they entered and both quickly clicked with my sister as they recalled New Year’s Eve. There wasn’t a dress theme or anything so people were turning up pretty casual-looking, but I’d still worn my best skinny jeans and one of my favourite white t-shirts. It was gaming-related but subtle, with just a small red Assassin’s Creed logo on the left of the chest which Todd remarked on immediately.</p><p>Donning a dark button-up shirt undone at the collar with the sleeves pushed halfway up his inked forearms, Geoff turned up with a six-pack of Coke and a grin. As the one to answer the door this time, I couldn’t help but stare with a smile as he clunked the soda onto the counter and began to load them into the tall fridge to chill. A little cockily, he winked at me.</p><p>“You haven’t been in the office much this week,” I said slightly wistfully as he continued stocking. “I’ve missed you.”</p><p>“You saw me yesterday,” he replied with humour whilst swinging the refrigerator door shut. But all the same, he crossed the floor to offer me a hug with outstretched arms. Gladly, I looped my arms around his neck as I stepped closer to him. Damn, he smelled good as well as looked good.</p><p>“Yeah, but not for very long and not like this,” I answered pointedly as we embraced. “I know you’re busy being the boss and all, but…” I let my words trail off as I stood on tiptoes to kiss his lips. For a moment he returned it while his hands slid slowly down to my ass, but we were far too-quickly interrupted.</p><p>“Jesus, get a room!” Michael laughed good-naturedly as Lindsay giggled whilst passing Jeremy a whiskey glass.</p><p>“Fuck off,” Geoff grinned at him, but we parted anyway.</p><p>The next two people to turn up weren’t anyone I knew, but I gathered these must have been Hanna’s colleagues and friends. They were around her age - late twenties - with Penny quickly revealing that she was an extremely rambunctious pretty brunette with a smattering of freckles and Jodie being a more reserved, attractive and curvy blonde. They both meshed pretty well with the room regardless however, because there was such a mix of personalities in the room already.</p><p>Ryan turned up a little later, not looking that much different than he did normally in a plain dark t-shirt and his newer, better-fitting jeans. He looked a little tired as he moved to hold me though, despite the night being young.</p><p>“Hope I’m not too late,” he smiled down at me while I shook my head. “I didn’t have time to bring anything either.”</p><p>“It’s okay, we’ve got loads of stuff,” I nodded in the direction of the counter and closed fridge. For a second, he glanced over in acknowledgement before closing his eyes and squeezing me more tightly. “Are you okay, Ry?”</p><p>“Mhm. Hey Hanna, this is a great place!” He had flicked quickly to seeming like himself again while he went to sit with the others and greet everyone properly.</p><p>Gavin and Meg arrived within the following half an hour, both of them looking very smart-casual. Gavin seemed to have made an effort with his attire because he was wearing a pale blue button-up shirt paired with jeans and new-looking white Converse. Meg was in silky colourful World Of Warcraft themed leggings and a tank top, her arms covered with a soft black unzipped hoodie as she wandered in first before her boyfriend. Her freshly-dyed crimson hair was loose, her smile wide as she greeted the group. Gavin was uncharacteristically quiet but his face still bore his familiar boyish grin.</p><p>The drinks flowed fast during the evening as we chatted and laughed, with Michael, Jeremy and Hanna getting clearly hammered the fastest. I glanced across at Geoff proudly who was only drinking Coke and hadn’t touched any whiskey except to pass a bottle of Fireball to Jeremy.</p><p>Todd, being a mechanic who worked for his father’s business locally, got on surprisingly well with Geoff and Jeremy, who fell straight into talking about cars and trucks while Ryan struck up conversation with Meg and Gavin because before they’d come here, they’d been out to eat. Strangely though, the lad kept shuffling. Perhaps it was because I was sitting between several different conversations that it drew my attention more than anyone else’s, but I couldn’t help but wonder what was up.</p><p>Something else was becoming clear to me as time went on though - loudmouth petite Penny hadn’t taken her sights off of Geoff. The way she leaned and giggled at his every joke, casually flirted with him and had purposefully sat down next to him was making a strange and unfamiliar feeling of unrest within me. She also wouldn’t stop playing with her hair, drawing his attention back to her every now and then.</p><p>Michael, who had always been very perceptive and observant, clocked this and shot me a look with arched eyebrows that read, ‘are you just going to let her do that?’</p><p>Multiple times, I nearly found myself saying something, but she was just harmlessly flirting. And though it wasn’t subtle, with everyone else merrily drinking and making casual conversation, it didn’t look entirely out of place. It just bugged <em>me.</em></p><p>“You can’t take your eyes off of Geoff tonight, huh?” Ryan asked with a grin as he flopped down beside me with a fresh can of Diet Coke.</p><p>“Yeah…I mean, no,” I mumbled, laughing a little. “That’s not why I’m staring.” With a sideways look at Ryan, I watched as he took a swig of his cold soda and waited for me to elaborate while Lindsay settled back down on my other side with a bag of potato chips.</p><p>I didn’t though and when my gaze returned to Penny and Geoff, I saw that she had her hand on his knee. Geoff didn’t seem to have noticed because he was in deep talks with Todd and Jeremy about conspiracy theories now - both of whom were getting progressively more drunk, causing the theories to become more and more wild - but I felt my stomach tighten just a tiny bit in reaction.</p><p>“Ahhh,” Ryan smirked, finally realising. “I see.”</p><p>I wasn’t the jealous type. I didn’t normally have this problem. But right now I was feeling strangely irritated by her obvious advances even though she probably had no idea that he was taken - not her fault because obviously, Geoff hadn’t made that clear yet. And I didn’t expect him to announce it to every room full of people he was in, but she really was trying.</p><p>Across from me, Meg sauntered to the bathroom, stepping over Michael and Jodie who were sitting on cushions on the floor as Gavin pierced me with a look and beckoned me over with a grin. I was sort of glad of this, because if he hadn’t my eyes might have followed her.</p><p>Getting up and joining him over on one of the big plush navy chairs that matched the sofa, I giggled because he’d shuffled over and the seat was so wide it fit both of our skinny butts.</p><p>“Cheese Puffs?” he offered, handing me the bag as I agreed and helped myself. A few minutes went by while Meg returned from the bathroom and took my previous seat next to Ryan on the sofa, the two of them striking up conversation about a new horror game.</p><p>“I need to talk to you,” he said quietly, though he was looking mischievous. “And you have to swear you won’t tell <em>anyone.” </em></p><p>“Okay…” I blinked, because this was Gavin and honestly, anything could have come out of his mouth next. “Sure, go for it.”</p><p>“Not in here,” he replied mysteriously. “In the next room or something. It’ll be quick.”</p><p>Fully aware that a few pairs of eyes followed us curiously as we entered into a tiny empty room beside the bathroom that I figured Hanna would probably turn into a home office, I watched as he shut the door and cocked my head to the side. Keeping his voice low, he cleared his throat and looked at me more confidently.</p><p>“What’s the big secret, Gav?” I asked, wondering what on earth he was going to say next.</p><p>“Geoff bet me one-hundred dollars to wear Meg’s panties all day,” he grinned, tugging the side of his jeans down slightly to reveal the top of some very lacy dark pink underwear.</p><p>My first automatic response was laughter, though I stifled it for his benefit in case anyone in the next room heard. “And you agreed? Aren’t you uncomfortable?”</p><p>“A hundred dollars is a hundred dollars,” he shrugged, hiding them again and pulling his shirt back down. “At first I thought it’d be funny but then Meg found out…”</p><p>“How’d she find out?” I asked curiously.</p><p>“I told her,” Gavin grinned. “I can’t lie to her and she caught sight of them when I bent over. She laughed but then she ordered me to…well, anyway.” He looked suddenly very sheepish.</p><p>“How did she react?” I tilted my head, watching as he folded his arms. “Did she approve?”</p><p>“She approved alright,” Gavin said quietly. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you first because I felt like Geoff would tell you sooner or later. Also…to tell you that if you make Geoff wear <em>your </em>underwear in revenge, I’ll give <em>you</em> the hundred dollars.”</p><p>Shaking my head with a slight gasp of amusement, I tried to imagine this scenario. Geoff Ramsey, all manly with his dark stubbly facial hair and the light trail of hair down his chest as, in my mind’s eye, my eye-line panned down to his waist, where he was wearing bright frilly panties. I burst into giggles.</p><p>“Y’know what, Free? You’re on,” I said firmly. “How the fuck am I going to get him to do it, though?”</p><p>“I dunno, bribe him or something,” Gavin smirked as we walked back through to the main room. “Offer to blow him.”</p><p>“Offer to blow who?” Michael slurred immediately, only picking up on the tail end of our conversation. “Who’s blowing somebody? Is someone getting blown?”</p><p>Ordinarily I would have found this funny because like a dog with a bone, Michael wasn’t going to let that go. But on the other hand, I’d just noticed how much closer to Geoff Penny had shuffled and now her hand was on his damned shoulder in a would-be casual effort to get physically closer to him.</p><p>“Geoff, can I talk to you for a sec?” I asked pleasantly, trying to keep the irritation from my voice.</p><p>“Yeah,” he smiled, getting up and to my satisfaction, not even noticing when Penny nearly fell sideways at the sudden lack of having him to lean on. Trying not to show my amusement, I turned away from her.</p><p>“In here,” I gestured to the small room Gavin and I had just been in, while Michael threw up his hands in drunken annoyance.</p><p>“Now <em>he’s</em> getting blown! Nobody’s goddamn blowing me!”</p><p>“Michael, I’m not blowing anybody. Hush,” I corrected him as Lindsay snickered.</p><p>“No!” he pouted, but he couldn’t help laughing as Jeremy clinked fresh shots with him.</p><p>With the door once again closed and the two of us alone, I stared at the gorgeous man before me who merely looked bemused.</p><p>“You need to tell Penny that you’re taken,” I sighed, tucking my hands into my jeans’ pockets and trying not to sound controlling. “She’s all over you.”</p><p>Geoff looked slightly surprised. “Huh. I didn’t notice. I wasn’t flirting back was I?”</p><p>The way he said this convinced me immediately that he was telling the truth, along with his eye contact and slight concern. “I don’t think you noticed anything she was doing, but she was sure as hell trying to make you,” I rolled my eyes as I watched him slowly start to grin whilst crossing his arms across his chest.</p><p>“Are you jealous?”</p><p>“No,” I insisted, even though this was a lie because I was, for some reason. “I just want her to keep her stupid blue-painted nails to herself.”</p><p>Walking towards me - which in the small room was about two strides - he pulled me close, smelling seductively of pine and earth and man.</p><p>“You are, you’re jealous,” he chuckled, his hands sliding down to my waist as he backed me up against the wall. “She was sitting kinda close, I’ll admit.”</p><p>“She had her hand on you,” I pointed out as I gazed up at him a little. “It annoyed me.”</p><p>With a small laugh, Geoff tilted his head to the side and leaned to kiss my lips softly as he hooked a single finger between my neck and my choker, tugging on it gently as he spoke quietly. “What do you want, a reminder that I’m yours?”</p><p>Dragging my teeth back across my bottom lip a little wantonly, I merely smiled. “If you want, I mean you don’t have-“ My voice was entirely casual but he responded with fire, cutting me off and kissing me more hungrily this time while he pressed his body against mine, his fingers suddenly fiddling with the button and zip on my jeans.</p><p>“Whoa, wait,” I said breathlessly. “This is not a good place for this. You can’t fuck me here when they’re all next door and could walk in to ask us what the hell we’re doing any minute.” I placed my hands on his chest lightly, though I wasn’t pushing him away.</p><p>“I’m not going to fuck you in here,” Geoff grinned, kissing my forehead softly as he successfully undid the fly of my jeans and slid them down my thighs a small way.</p><p>“Oh, okay, but-"</p><p>“I’m going to finger you in here.”</p><p>“Geoff!”</p><p>“Shhh, sweetheart,” he chuckled, kissing my neck as his fingers slid between my legs and discovered the tiny black thong I was wearing. It was really nothing more than a small triangle of fabric on elastic but my ass looked great in these tight jeans so I hadn’t wanted to ruin it with a panty line.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” I mumbled, aware that I was pretty wet already as he used a finger to move the thong aside and stroked it right along my clit. My eyes dropped closed as I hung on to his shoulders while he played with me, his other hand pushing up my bare side under my t-shirt. My mouth fell open in silent ecstasy.</p><p>“Remember to be nice and quiet,” Geoff whispered by my ear before kissing along my neck and biting down gently.</p><p>Struggling not to whimper, I dug my nails into his shoulders as he brought me slowly to the edge, his breath on my skin and my body flushed with pleasure and heat.</p><p>“I think the only thing hotter than you moaning is you struggling not to moan,” he smirked, his fingers moving a little faster now that he knew I was close.</p><p>Then the door opened.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0081"><h2>81. Besotted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. After most of the group binges on alcohol they get hungry, bringing on a trip for food.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Brief Explicit Content Warning</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Hey, what the fuck are you two-“ Michael stopped abruptly, his eyebrows rising so far they almost disappeared into orbit as his stare slid down to the bare tops of my thighs where my skinny jeans had been peeled down, followed by the position of Geoff’s hand. “Oh. <em>Oh.”</em></p><p>It was funny in a pretty non-comical way, because had he been less inebriated he might have thought twice about barging in out of common sense, but he did (to his credit) close the door again and leave us to it. On the other hand I heard him yell, ‘they’re totally fucking in there!’ to the others in the next moment, causing me to groan with embarrassment and gently thunk my head back against the wall behind me.</p><p>Geoff laughed then before kissing my lips again briefly. “Well, we knew the risks.”</p><p>“Oh god,” was all I could say because I was conflicted. Shame was flowing through me at being seen like this by a friend and colleague (though it could have been <em>much</em> worse) but on the other hand I was still aroused as hell and Geoff had resumed moving his fingers.</p><p>“You still wanna come, don’t you?” he smirked, watching as I let out a breathy exhale.</p><p>“Yeah,” I replied in spite of what had just happened, because I was still aroused and so, so close. “Yeah, I do. Please, Geoff.” Refocusing my thoughts on him, I stroked a palm across his cheek and into his dark hair as his lips made contact with my neck again.</p><p>“Good girl,” he replied, biting into my flesh tenderly and eliciting a small gasp of pleasure from me as I felt my body tremble while my orgasm overtook me. If he hadn’t been partially supporting me against the wall, I was sure I would have fallen to my knees as I fought myself not to make any noise.</p><p>“Geoff,” I panted quietly a few seconds later. “Holy fuck.”</p><p>Kissing the tip of my nose with a grin, he backed off of me and let me fix my thong and pull my jeans back up whilst feeling slutty as all hell and yet still wanting more. That would definitely have to wait, though.</p><p>“If we were totally alone, I’d have you right here,” Geoff grinned before taking a breath. I could see how aroused he was even though his underwear and jeans were doing a half-decent job of containing him. “But I guess we’d better be polite party guests and go back out there.”</p><p>With a sly smile, I reached to take his hand. “Later.”</p><p>The only way to face the room of friends and a couple of strangers that had just found out we were up to no good was to do it with my head held high, I figured. Geoff seemed to care far less, so with as much confidence as I had in me in that moment and vastly encouraged by his casual demeanour, we walked back out. If he felt no shame, why should I?</p><p>Sitting back down beside Ryan who was looking mostly amused with a tinge of surprise, I said absolutely nothing as Michael gave me a very smug smile and Jeremy avoided my gaze entirely, his cheeks slightly pink. Whether or not this was due to the alcohol or the image of Geoff and I being intimate, I wasn’t sure.</p><p>“We weren’t fucking by the way,” I felt the need to say to them after a minute of this, but I had humour in my tone. “Sorry to disappoint.”</p><p>“You were doin’ something,” Michael replied, while Lindsay giggled with an ‘oh my’.</p><p>“It wasn’t long enough for fucking,” Meg chipped in, opening herself a can of beer with a hiss. My eyes drifted to her as she gave me a knowing look with her hazel eyes. “They were only in there for a couple of minutes.”</p><p>“Well, Geoff’s dick was still in his pants,” Michael shrugged. “They probably stopped because I caught them.”</p><p>“I’m right here y’know,” I laughed, extending my leg and nudging Michael’s side with my foot because he was sitting on a cushion on the floor. “You believe what you wanna believe.”</p><p>Ryan was saying nothing, but he was smiling slightly at the banter.</p><p>“You were definitely losing those jeans [Y/N],” Michael persisted and I suddenly realised that while I was pretty sure he had no interest in me sexually, that wasn’t why he was holding the subject. He was making a joke out of it to cover his own awkwardness.</p><p>“I don’t wanna know the details,” Jeremy said, looking slightly abashed and putting his hands up as he shook his head. “You two do whatever, I’m out. I couldn’t deal with that if Kat was with another guy.” At this he glanced at Ryan, apparently to see his reaction which I found interesting.</p><p>“It’s not for everyone,” Ryan shrugged lazily, casting him a pointed look. “There are a lot of factors involved.”</p><p>“How do you like…decide, though?” Jeremy asked, seeming curious despite his obvious bewilderment. “Aren’t you jealous that wasn’t you in there?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“But…<em>how?” </em>The lad was clear in his confusion, which was fair considering he was a very monogamous person in a long-term relationship with someone I was quite sure he was intending to marry someday.</p><p>I did wonder what Ryan was going to say in that moment as all eyes turned to him for a response - even Penny and Jodie who weren’t in the loop but seemed fascinated - but even as he began to speak I realised I wasn’t prepared in the slightest.</p><p>“Because I know that I can have her too, whenever I want.”</p><p>I felt my face grow a little hot, because despite how cooly and casually he had said this, he was also right. Very almost any time was a good time and if he ever dragged me aside and into a private space, I was unlikely to resist. But the way that the eyes in the room then slid over to me with slight surprise was what really made me blush.</p><p>Especially Lindsay’s, because she knew exactly what the context was. But more so than that was the way that Meg was gazing at me. Whilst on the surface she was cuddled up to Gavin in an adorable sort of way with her hand on his chest and his arm around her shoulders, her eyes held me for a few seconds. And speaking of Gavin, he was almost understanding in his expression.</p><p>Michael, strangely, looked a little annoyed. “That’s…kinda disrespectful,” he mumbled, but I had no intention of letting that one go.</p><p>I licked my dry lips. “It’s not, he does respect me. He’s not being misogynistic, it’s just that he knows I’m head over heels for him. And for Geoff. Trust me, I’m never coerced or forced.”</p><p>There was a silence before Meg spoke up, seeming to understand my awkwardness and how heavy the tension in the room had become.</p><p>“It’s the same for Gavin and I. He knows that when I want some, I expect him to be there.” She grinned playfully as he chuckled in his usual boyish way, the corners of his eyes creasing as he looked at her.</p><p>And then the spotlight was off of me as she elaborated without going into too much detail, freeing me of being stared at in judgement for being with two men. I was relieved, though I had been prepared to stand up for the three of us if anyone had anything derogatory to say, but the flow of conversation continued and started to change naturally.</p><p>With a slightly guilty glance over at Hanna, I quickly realised that she seemed indifferent to me because she was cozying up with Todd, the pair of them laughing and scrolling through her phone together.</p><p>The hours drifted by and Youtube ended up on the television on a random ‘home-video-accidents’ playlist, the majority of us not paying attention while we talked and occasionally tuned back in with a cringe and an ‘ooooh’ at someone doing a front flip off of a porch roof and landing on their ass or something. Thankfully, conversations of relationships and sexual intimacy had long-passed, replaced with current events, video games and food.</p><p>This caused Michael to announce he was hungry which was hardly surprising considering how eating late at night was entirely normal for him. “I’m feeling a Mac-Attack coming on! Who’s with me? Actually I don’t care, I’m going even if no-one else comes with me.”</p><p>This spawned a trip in which he, I, Lindsay and Jeremy wound up in a local McDonalds a short walk away from the flat at midnight in order to both get and bring back food for the others. As the only sober one amongst them, I had been trusted with ‘the sacred list’ of orders, expected to get it right as the others stumbled slightly and tried not to be too rowdy but failed miserably.</p><p>“Please remember my nuggets,” Ryan had grinned at me. “I don’t want burgers from there, I don’t like them.”</p><p>“Chocolate shake for me!” Hanna had piped up as Todd seconded this, the pair of them extremely giggly for some reason.</p><p>“Can you get me a Big Mac and fries?” Gavin had slurred as Meg requested the same.</p><p>So we were off on a ‘late-night adventure’ as Lindsay called it, the four of us strolling down the reasonably populated street because we were in downtown Austin. People going to and from clubs, bars and events passed us as we crammed clumsily through the doors of the fluorescent-lit restaurant. As the only one who had any kind of sober composure right now I walked up to the counter and made the order, figuring everyone could just pay me back later.</p><p>Realising that Michael and Jeremy had never told me what they wanted when the others did, I turned to them last. “Hey jabronies, what did you want?”</p><p>“I want a double Big Mac,” Michael told me firmly. “And I want large fries and a double cheeseburger. And a Coke. Have they got any of those chicken things too?”</p><p>Blinking at this huge amount of food, I turned to the young guy behind the counter. “Do you have the chicken strip things right now?”</p><p>“Yeah we do, would you like all of those things added to your order?” he responded with a kind of monotone politeness as he tapped on the screen in front of him. This poor guy was probably dead inside from working here.</p><p>“Yes please,” I nodded sheepishly. “And sorry about them.” I gestured behind me where Michael was demanding loudly that Jeremy put him in a headlock, for some reason.</p><p>“Double quarter-pounder for me please! Extra pickles!” Jeremy called to me with Michael’s arm around his neck. I didn’t feel the need to repeat it to the server since he was standing right there and had heard this request loud and clear.</p><p>“I bet you can’t, I-bet-you-can’t!” Michael said in an intentionally deep and challenging voice as Jeremy made to reach for him and drunkenly managed to get hold of his jacket to pull him down instead while Lindsay cackled, watching on as I rejoined them and we waited for our sizeable order.</p><p>Even while a small part of me was wishing that somebody else that was sober was here with me for moral support, I couldn’t help grinning as the pair changed the subject and Jeremy yanked the hood of his jacket so far down over his face that he couldn’t see and proceeded to do his best groaning zombie impression. Michael then did the same, the pair of them wandering around blindly in the small area with their arms outstretched, making loud noises and eventually stupidly crashing into each other while I collected our trays of drinks.</p><p>“Guys, help me with the bags of food,” I pleaded in amusement, unable to carry everything. Lindsay agreed and took two of the four, with Michael grabbing the other two.</p><p>“At least you didn’t get lost!” Hanna chirped as we all finally traipsed and stumbled back into the flat. This was a good point, but we had had to walk extra slow because at one point Jeremy had insisted that he couldn’t remember how to walk and had sat down in the street.</p><p>“Nuggets?” Ryan asked hopefully as I grinned over at him.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Yeah!” He leapt off of the sofa and like a puppy who had been offered a treat, scampered over immediately to retrieve them.</p><p>As everyone helped themselves to the food and figured out whose order was whose, I noticed that Geoff was watching me from across the room. While it brought a sly smile to my face, I could understand why; he’d given me mine earlier but he hadn’t yet had any gratification in return.</p><p>“Oh god yes,” Michael groaned as he stuffed his face with the huge amount of food he’d gotten. “Oh so good. So much good.”</p><p>“Jesus man, how much food did you order?” Ryan asked in slight disbelief, eyeing the double Big Mac, double cheeseburger, large fries and chicken dippers.</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck,” Michael shrugged, taking a bite of first one burger and then the other, mixing the two in his mouth. “Mmmmmffffffffffff.”</p><p>“Animal,” Lindsay laughed fondly as she dug hers and Jeremy’s quarter-pounders out of the bags. “Hey Geoff, here’s your fries.”</p><p>Eating ravenously and then proceeding to feel extremely sleepy because it was so late, we all began to visibly drop one by one. The flat was warm, the sofas were comfortable and when Gavin hit mute on the remote, the television went silent too. Jodie and Meg were still in quiet conversation, but even as I leaned sideways to lay my head on Geoff’s shoulder, I felt him glance at me.</p><p>“D’you want to crash here tonight? Or come back to mine?” he asked, draping an arm around my shoulders.</p><p>Nodding with a yawn, I smiled. His place was only across town and was one pretty short car journey at this time of night. “I’ll come back to yours but…to sleep.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” he grinned, giving my hair a brief stroke as I stretched and stood up.</p><p>Jeremy had fallen asleep on the floor with the empty bottle of Fireball whiskey still clutched in his hand while Gavin’s eyes drooped on the chair opposite, his legs tucked up under himself. Ryan looked close to nodding off, though when I headed for the front door he woke up a little.</p><p>“Hey,” he said, shuffling to move Penny away because she had attempted to curl up close to him a few minutes ago and he looked visibly uncomfortable by this. “Can I come and stay too? It’s like a forty minute drive to my place and I’m fucking exhausted.”</p><p>“Sure, whatever,” Geoff shrugged as he located his car key in his back pocket while I grabbed my jacket.</p><p>“Han, thanks for inviting us,” I grinned at her as she noticed us gathering by her front door.</p><p>“Aw it’s been fun!” she drawled, totally intoxicated. “Come back tomorrow and we’ll do it again!”</p><p>“It might take a while for you all to recover,” I replied, looking around at the room full of completely inebriated people. “But whenever you next decide to host, let us know.” Giving her a hug that she slightly clumsily returned, the three of us left and headed out of the flat quietly in consideration of her neighbours.</p><p>“You two wanna be alone, just tell me,” Ryan said suddenly to Geoff and I as we reached their cars. “I know you haven’t had a night together in a while. And you obviously can’t wait.” He smirked a little as we all recalled earlier in the evening.</p><p>Sheepishly, I shook my head. “We’re all tired, we’re just going to go straight to sleep. It’s fine, honestly Ry.”</p><p>“O-kay,” he replied while Geoff silently agreed with me because as horny as he’d been earlier, he now just looked like he would like to curl up under a duvet.</p><p>“It’s late,” he added. “Let’s just go get some rest.”</p><p>***</p><p>That night, I had a weird dream.</p><p>No nightmares had plagued me in days and though I was thankful every time I woke up fairly rested and relieved, it was probably down to staying with Ryan every night this week even when he had had his children over. Subconsciously I felt as though he and Geoff were my nighttime protectors and I had blatantly ignored what my therapist had said about not being alone because it <em>helped. </em></p><p>Even with the occasional disruptions such as Ryan having to slide out of bed to go and see to Olivia in the dead of night which would quite often cause me to stir, I was sleeping way better than I had in months, which was really saying something since it was broken sleep. Still, when he would come back to bed he would spoon me, his warm arms gently pulling me back into him while I smiled and drifted back into a nightmare-free slumber.</p><p>“I can help you y’know,” I had offered, because even though he would have to teach me what to do and Olivia wasn’t in any way my responsibility, I still felt guilty about the fact that it was always him who had to get up.</p><p>“Nah it’s fine,” he had replied earnestly, so I’d left it at that.</p><p>Now in Geoff’s bed, I woke up slowly while the pair of them were still snoozing either side of me after the late night we’d all had. It was firmly morning but I didn’t blame them for wanting more time in bed as I shifted to sit up, the duvet having been pushed off of us all in the night due to us being too hot. While I had slipped into bed naked, the pair of them were still wearing their boxer-briefs.</p><p>Something funny about Geoff that I had discovered pretty early on was that he slept in a very uncommon way - flat on his back with his hands resting on his chest. The position reminded me a little of how a vampire might lay in his coffin and it amused me no end. I’d never mentioned it to him, but as I watched his chest gently rise and fall I felt Ryan shift his leg on my other side.</p><p>In stark contrast, when in deep sleep Ryan tended to lay like he was doing his best impression of a starfish, which when sharing a bed with him was far from ideal. Despite this, he mostly slept on his side with one arm under the pillow supporting his head when he was conscious enough to move and be more considerate. Or when I lightly shoved him because he was taking up more than half the mattress.</p><p>Glancing between them both, I felt my heart beat a little harder in my chest as the slight gap in the curtains allowed a strip of bright Sunday morning sunshine shine through onto the end of the bed. I adored them so much that it scared me sometimes because I had no idea how I would cope without one or both of them in my life. I decided in that moment to tell my shrink that she was wrong; regardless of what she thought about my independence or heavy reliance issues, I was so happy with these men that it couldn’t possibly be bad. And I was finally getting some decent sleep.</p><p>Sliding carefully and quietly out of bed by going down the middle and then crawling off of the end, I padded barefoot out of the room after shrugging on Geoff’s black towelling robe and belting it up around my bare skin. Out in the living room, Rex instantly perked up in his huge dog cage at the sight of me, his tail wagging so fast I wondered if it might fly off.</p><p>“Hey boy,” I grinned, leaning down to release the latch on the door. He only slept in here during the night and had free roam during the day, mainly because Geoff had gotten too stressed waking up every morning to yet another pair of shoes bitten to pieces. “Want some breakfast?”</p><p>He barked a little so I shushed him with a head ruffle, but he scampered to the kitchen area with me and wouldn’t leave my heels until I set down wet food for him. Then I made coffee for Geoff and I, the enticing scent probably wafting through the house in the process as it nicely disguised the fairly gross smell of dog food.</p><p>I placed the fresh cup on the nightstand nearest Geoff before leaning to kiss his lips softly. He gently awoke and opened his eyes to see me standing by the bed.</p><p>“I made coffee,” I whispered with a smile. “And by the way, you sleep like a weirdo.”</p><p>With a slow grin, he reached to pull me down onto the bed with him by using the robe. “This is mine. And I know that, cheeky bitch.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks for the loan,” I chuckled quietly as he shifted a little to make room for me. I lifted my head to glance across at Ryan who had moved a bit and was now reaching to hold presumably me, but had found Geoff instead in my absence. Hilariously, in his state of still being mostly asleep, he didn’t seem to notice this and curled up behind the other man. Usually I was a buffer between them physically, because despite not giving a shit about being naked in each others’ presence when they were both double-teaming me sexually, they did seem to have boundaries about other kinds of intimate contact since there was no attraction between them.</p><p>I watched as Geoff froze a little, his eyes suddenly a little disbelieving. “Uh…” he spoke quietly as I attempted to stifle my giggles. “Ryan?”</p><p>Ryan said nothing but slid his hand slowly down Geoff’s bare side, still not aware of anything as he snoozed.</p><p>“He thinks I’m you,” Geoff said slowly to me as I turned red fighting not to laugh out loud.</p><p>“No shit,” I replied, feeling him squirm uncomfortably because Ryan was positively spooning him. “Wonder how long it’ll take him to notice.”</p><p>“Already too long,” Geoff laughed, reaching to remove the other man’s hand from his side and shuffling away from him. “Ryan, get off.”</p><p>“Mhm, wha?” Sleepily, the slightly younger man’s eyes cracked half-open and it took him several seconds to register what was happening before he evaluated where he was laying in relation to Geoff. “Fuck, sorry.” He rolled in the other direction and rubbed his eyes with his palms.</p><p>“I thought it was cute,” I grinned at the pair of them as Geoff sat up and took a sip of his coffee before thanking me for making it. “I feel like sometimes men need to be held like that from behind too, they just don’t like to admit it.”</p><p>“Nah, I’m alright,” Ryan said resistantly, perching on the edge of the bed as he glanced around for his jeans.</p><p>Geoff on the other hand shrugged and nodded a little. "From the right person, yeah.”</p><p>Watching as Ryan walked off to shower and being unable to help my gaze dropping to his ass as he left the room, I noticed Geoff place the mug back down on the nightstand before sliding his hands around me. Before I knew what he was doing, he had yanked at the robe’s belt, pulling the thing open and revealing how naked I was underneath.</p><p>“Damn that’s hot,” he remarked as I shuffled and felt him press his lips to mine, “but I want you out of it right now.”</p><p>I allowed the too-big towelling robe to fall off of my shoulders as I playfully let it proceed to drop from my form, watching as his gaze roamed over me before meeting my eyes again. “I think I owe you after last night.”</p><p>“You definitely do,” he smirked, patting the bed beside him. “Lay down.”</p><p>I did as he said with a devilish smile.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0082"><h2>82. Kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Your day starts kinky and gets interrupted unpleasantly.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I like writing angst too much, I’m sorry. It will be okay.</p><p>
  <i>Brief Explicit Content Warning</i>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Geoff, what’re you doing?” I asked with curiosity as I lay naked in the middle of his bed upon his command, watching him rifle through his clothing drawers before finally holding something up.</p><p>“I was looking for this,” he replied lightly as I fixed my gaze on the new leash. “I bought it the other day for you. Thought it would be a little nicer than the one you had.”</p><p>‘Nicer’ perhaps wasn’t the right term; it still had a leather handle to grip and would still attach to my choker with a metal clasp, but in between were silver links of metal chain rather than more leather.</p><p>With a smirk, I raised my eyebrows. “You shouldn’t have.”</p><p>Mischief in his eyes, he straddled me and clipped it to my choker. “You like it, right?”</p><p>I gasped then, because he had allowed the chain to slide from between his fingers to trail its icy-cold touch between my breasts down to my belly button, instantly cooling my previously warm skin.</p><p>“I bought you more than just this,” he continued, leaning down to lightly kiss my lips in an almost playful way. “And I haven’t told Ryan yet, so oh boy is he gonna get a surprise when he walks back in here.”</p><p>With a grin, I cocked my head a little, my eyes trailing up his bare tattooed chest with the colourful dragon to his face. “What did you have in mind?”</p><p>Climbing back off of me and letting go of the other end of my leash, I observed him as he pulled more things out of his underwear drawer in his dresser, things made of lace and silk and clearly not for him to wear. This however reminded me of the bet that Gavin had told me about regarding him wearing Meg’s panties and how Gav had promised me a hundred dollars if I could persuade Geoff to do the same. Somehow, I would have to figure this out, but now wasn’t the time.</p><p>A small strappy nightdress was laid out on the end of the bed, with sheer black fabric down the sides and down the back and front, a deep red silk. The bra cups were also sheer and lacy, covering nothing if you looked close enough. Along with this, a matching pair of black panties that looked fairly normal, though they did have a lace trim and a tiny little red bow on the front. </p><p>“Geoff, you’ve been buying me lingerie?” I asked with a grin as he laid out some sheer black nylon thigh-high stockings next.</p><p>“You’re not busy today, right?” he asked me casually, leaning on the end of the bed with both hands and looking a little like he wanted to eat me as he smirked slowly. “No plans or anything?”</p><p>“No…” I said truthfully, although I had been contemplating streaming later, but now I was much more interested in what he had in mind. “Why?”</p><p>“Put this stuff on. It should fit,” he replied, not answering my question and standing up to watch me dress.</p><p>So I did, slowly and methodically; the panties first, then the nylon stockings, followed by the nightdress as Geoff helped me carefully account for my leash. I had been right about the breast area of the garment - it was definitely sheer enough to see nipple. Not only this, but it was only barely long enough to cover my ass and if I bent over, it wouldn’t cover a damn thing.</p><p>But I felt like a goddamn sexy goddess.</p><p>“This goes in here,” Geoff said, sliding his hand down the front of my panties to my surprise and placing something rigid there that was made of some sort of velvety plastic. It seemed to fasten in some way to the panties, because there was an extra strip of fabric sewn in for precisely this purpose that I had briefly wondered about when putting them on.</p><p>Immediately I moaned quietly, because his fingers had slid against my wetness and the curved pebble-like object was now nestled up against it too, though to my disappointment he then pulled away from me.</p><p>“Is this a tiny vibrator?” I asked, confused. But as he pulled out his phone, I immediately understood even before he showed me the screen that displayed all kinds of functions on it.</p><p>“Yeah,” he confirmed, showing me. “And I can make it do all kinds of things. Remotely. I can change the intensity of the vibrations, the pattern of vibrations, the frequency of the vibrations…”</p><p>My eyes went a little wide at the sudden possibilities, but my tone was sarcastic. “Wow. Because you’re definitely not going to abuse the fuck out of this.” Nonetheless, he could see the obvious excitement on my face.</p><p>“For the rest of the day,” Geoff smiled, cupping his palm to my cheek as his voice took on a more seductive lilt, “you’re my pet. You do what I say, when I say it. You stay by my side unless I tell you to wait. You don’t hesitate, you don’t ask questions and if you do a good job, you get rewarded. Understood?”</p><p>“Yes, Sir,” I smirked, because I very much understood.</p><p>He admired how I looked then, taking in how well what he had bought me fitted whilst clutching the other end of my chain.</p><p>“Can…can I say something first?” I asked, wondering if we had already begun.</p><p>He smiled a little. “Yeah.”</p><p>“I’m really proud of you for not drinking last night.”</p><p>I’d caught him by surprise but even still, his expression turned soft immediately. “Thanks. I’m really fuckin’ trying.”</p><p>I nodded, knowing this to be true. Then I said nothing else, because he had gone back to looking me up and down as he walked slowly around me. He tugged gently on the leash, leading me back over to stand by the bed.</p><p>“Stay,” he told me, so I did, noticing with satisfaction that he was definitely hard inside of his boxer-briefs. He was just stroking a hand through my hair from my side as I faced towards the door before we heard footsteps and I knew that he had put me there intentionally for maximum effect.</p><p>It was no secret amongst the three of us that Geoff and Ryan loved to play me off against one another, with it being a silent agreement that it basically came down to the fact that it turned both of them on to see <em>me</em> so turned on regardless of which of them - and it was usually both - had caused it. And currently, I knew that was Geoff’s plan; to show me off to Ryan in garments he’d never seen me in before and catch him off-guard.</p><p>The bedroom door opened and with a towel around his waist and his hair still wet from the shower, Ryan strolled in, his eyes flicking straight to me immediately because I was impossible to miss. His mouth hung open slightly for a second or two before he closed it and a smirk curled on his lips.</p><p>“Fucking hell, you look like <em>sin.”</em></p><p>And oh, that towel was hiding nothing as his dick immediately agreed.</p><p>Remembering Geoff’s words, I did nothing but instead gave him a coy look.</p><p>“She's playing pet for me all day,” he added to my silence by way of explanation. Then he turned teasing. “You can go home if you want, like you were gonna.”</p><p>“Oh I’m not going anywhere now,” Ryan replied, approaching us and standing right in front of me, his hands going straight to my hips. “Goddamn you’re sexy no matter what you’re wearing but…”</p><p>Words seemed to temporarily fail him as I smiled between them both. And then Geoff showed him the remote-controlled vibrator app that linked to what was currently sitting in my panties and I closed my eyes for a brief second, because if I’d thought that the former man was going to abuse it, I was completely certain that the latter definitely would.</p><p>“Guys, just…don’t make me wear this at work, okay?” I giggled a little, watching their eyes light up as they became inspired by what they could do with the new gadget.</p><p>“Why would you say that?” Ryan asked immediately, raising an eyebrow. “Do you actually <em>want</em> us to use it on you at work?”</p><p>“No, I-“ I stopped. Because I was lying. Badly. “No!” Honestly, it would make concentrating so much more difficult whilst editing, but aside from that knowing that I wouldn’t be able to have either one of them until after the work day had ended would surely be torture if I was made that aroused. On the other hand, it was just another thing that gave them so much control that I so loved to give to them.</p><p>“I think she does…” Geoff smiled, knowing how turned on I already was. “Tell us the truth…” His hand slid down my back slowly to my ass as he moved to stand behind me.</p><p>Ryan smoothed his fingers through my hair, the threat of his ability to grasp it tightly obvious while they waited.</p><p>“I…I…okay…maybe a bit,” I conceded.</p><p>“There’s a good girl,” Geoff smirked before tapping his phone. The vibrator switched on and trembled on its lowest setting, completely silently. The only way either of them could know it was working was from my reaction.</p><p>“Ohh…” I bit my lip, twitching a little at the sudden subtle tease of pleasure.</p><p>“This is going to be so much fun,” Ryan murmured. “But I think it’s time for breakfast.”</p><p>At first I’d thought this - considering the circumstances - to be a euphemism. But then he really did start to dress himself.</p><p>“What- but- I-“ I blinked as the pair of them pulled on their clothes and started to leave the room, but not before Geoff switched off the vibrator and gripped a hold of my leash again, tugging as an indication for me to follow.</p><p>“You haven’t eaten yet. You need breakfast,” Geoff told me firmly as I followed after him to the kitchen. “I’m going to make you food. Sit.”</p><p>So I sat at the kitchen table while he made cheese toasties, remembering how Geoff seemed to have taken a liking to ‘looking after’ me in more ways than just sexually and feeling my stomach flutter a little in light of this. Of course I was capable and of course he knew that, but there was something about this particular line of role-play he liked that indicated I should just let him sweetly do these things for me.</p><p>Ryan pulled out his phone to browse the internet and check his messages, probably. “Hey can you make me one of those too?” he asked hopefully as Geoff sighed but then nodded. Then a shadow of slight worry crossed the younger man’s features. “Does it seem a little quiet to you?”</p><p>“Yeah…” I frowned, suddenly realising what he meant.</p><p>It didn’t click for Geoff until Ryan rose from the table and stalked off to find Rex, who was probably chewing god-only-knew-what now.</p><p>“That fuckin’ dog, dude,” Geoff shook his head as a tell-tale bark issued from upstairs somewhere, followed by Ryan’s muffled spoken attempts to get whatever he had off of him. “He’s driving me fuckin’ mad.”</p><p>“I should stay over more to help,” I said guiltily as he served up the first toastie. “I made you take Rex in to begin with.”</p><p>With a slightly tired smile, Geoff placed my breakfast in front of me. “You’re welcome any time. Permanently, if you ever want.” He continued with the second toastie, finishing up right as Ryan reappeared, gently encouraging Rex along by using the back of his collar to lead him.</p><p>“I’ve got bad news for you,” he sighed at the tattooed man opposite him as Rex sat down and let his tongue hang out, looking very much like butter wouldn’t melt.</p><p>“What’s he eaten now?”</p><p>With my eyes fixed on Rex, I watched him whine a little and then bring his head down to rest on his front paws.</p><p>“Well…that puzzle you were working on…it’s missing some pieces, I think,” Ryan grimaced.</p><p>“He ate my fuckin’ puzzle?” Geoff snapped, nearly dropping Ryan’s ready-made toastie as he gawped at the dog. But his expression softened slightly when he saw how the dog’s demeanour had drooped. “Think he needs the vet?”</p><p>With a heavy sigh, Ryan nodded, glancing at me. We both knew that meant the nearest and also the best; Laurie’s practice.</p><p>***</p><p>In my worry for Rex, I’d sprung into action immediately and pulled on my jeans and t-shirt from last night after removing the nightdress and stockings. It was unfortunate because I had loved wearing something so sensual and sexy, but our dog had to come first since he’d swallowed something he shouldn’t have. I did however, keep on the panties complete with vibrator but something I hadn’t accounted for occurred to me the moment I climbed into the car. My jeans were tight - they were skinny jeans and were supposed to be. But the little vibrator in my panties was pressed even more snugly against me now and I dreaded to think how good it would feel if they dared switch it on in public.</p><p>Laurie looked oddly unsurprised to see her ex-husband carrying a dog into her clinic and I vaguely wondered how often over the years they had been previously married that they had suffered issues with their own pets. She did look a little surprised by his company of Geoff and I however.</p><p>“Ryan,” she said with a clipped tone and a professional smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “And Geoff and [Y/N]. This dog sure has a lot of owners.”</p><p>I hadn’t seen her in a while and though she hadn’t particularly changed, my opinion of her sure had after I’d overheard Ryan’s side of a conversation that implied that she was guilt-tripping him and putting him down about lack of commitment to his children. Not to mention that she insultingly and patronisingly thought I was a ‘phase’ he was going through.</p><p>“He’s eaten a bunch of puzzle pieces,” Ryan explained calmly. “I figured to be safe, we should bring him in.”</p><p>Laurie eyed him for only a moment before turning her attention to her middle-aged receptionist to tell her to book the dog in and then to Rex, who was still a little droopy as if he knew he’d done something wrong. Either that, or he didn’t feel very good.</p><p>My leash of course had been left back at the house, with the common sense that having that attached to me in public here in Austin was a bad idea from several standpoints. But all the same, I knew that everything Geoff had said to me earlier still applied and as such, I remained more or less by his side the entire time while we sat out in the waiting area and Ryan trailed into the practice room after Laurie with Rex padding beside him.</p><p>“He’ll be okay, right?” I asked, suddenly feeling slightly sick. “Where was your puzzle?”</p><p>“In my office upstairs,” Geoff replied, placing a comforting hand on my knee. “I keep the door closed but I guess he’s figured out how to fuckin’ open doors.”</p><p>He hadn’t answered my question, possibly because he had no idea. But my brain suddenly was jumping to all of the worst conclusions. I had been the one who had let him out of his crate that morning and then left him to his own devices. I had been the one who hadn’t kept an eye on him or prevented him from going upstairs. I hadn’t <em>thought</em>.</p><p>"This isn’t your fault,” Geoff told me firmly, obviously seeing the tension on my face as I shuffled.</p><p>The minutes stretched by into the teens before I got up and began to pace, unable to sit still any longer. “D’you think they’re done?” I asked the receptionist, though I wasn’t sure what I expected to her say.</p><p>She eyed me over the top of her spectacles and raised her eyebrows a little. “I’m not psychic, darling. If you want to go on through, you feel free. Doctor Higginbotham appears to know you so I’m sure she won’t mind. They’ll be in room four.”</p><p>Anxiously, I quickly found the right door and pushed it open, expecting to see Rex up on the table and Laurie standing over him. And while the latter part of that was true, what I had not expected to see was Ryan’s back against the wall with Laurie’s lips against his.</p><p>My world froze.</p><p>My mom’s words rang in my head from when she’d spoken to Ryan at dinner that horrible evening months ago.</p><p>
  <em>“That family unit is still there, the one that you used to have. You may want to go back to it at some point to make it complete again and that will only hurt my daughter.”</em>
</p><p><em>“Going back to my ex-wife isn’t something I ever plan to do,” </em>Ryan had said in response. Lied in response <em>Lied. </em></p><p>My stomach lurched unpleasantly as Laurie turned to see me standing in the doorway and a smile crept onto her lips, as if she knew how much this sight tore me apart.</p><p>Backing out as I saw Ryan’s eyes go wide with shock at my appearance, I turned and realised that my legs were automatically walking me as far away from the sight of somebody else kissing him as possible. I threw myself through the double glass front doors and out into the street, with Geoff shooting me a look of surprise and following quickly.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Is it Rex? Is he not okay?” His blue eyes were filled with so much desperate worry that I could hardly get my words out.</p><p>“They were kissing,” I gasped, feeling like I was going to throw up on the sidewalk.</p><p>At first Geoff looked amused, as if he was picturing either Ryan or Laurie kissing <em>Rex. </em>Like perhaps I was making a joke of some sort and was winding him up. Then his smile vanished to be replaced with complete bewildered confusion. <em>“What?”</em></p><p>“I need to go home,” I blinked as tears welled in my eyes and I trailed towards his Audi, feeling completely lost.</p><p>Shaking his head with no intention to go anywhere, Geoff turned on his heel and made to march back into the vet clinic, but as he did so Ryan fell through the doors towards us, his face full of uncharacteristic panic. I had never seen him like this before since he was usually always so composed, so it stilled me for long enough for him to catch up, his hand clutching the leash of Rex, who seemed okay at least as he padded beside him.</p><p>“I swear to fucking god you didn’t see what you thought you did,” he blurted, coming to a stop in front of me. But in a flurry from my right, Geoff punched him in the jaw with a thud so hard that it sent him careening back a few steps.</p><p><em>“Fuck!”</em> He cursed, bringing his hand up to clutch his new injury while Geoff shook his left fist a little with a face like thunder before snatching possession of Rex out of his grip.</p><p>“You fuckin’ <em>asshole,</em>” he growled as Ryan backed up a little in response, clearly wondering if the other man was going to take another swing.</p><p>“She kissed me, I didn’t initiate it, I didn’t even know she was going to do it!” He was looking at me with slightly pleading eyes, but my brain was replaying the sight of her lips on his on a loop. I clenched my fists. “We need to talk about this, you need to believe me.”</p><p>“You’re fuckin’ fired,” Geoff spat, unlocking his Audi and watching Rex hop into the back seat. “I’ll take you home now, [Y/N].”</p><p>“You can’t do that,” Ryan replied to him, aghast, but I could see in his eyes that this statement had hurt him more than the physical assault. “We need to talk!”</p><p>“Maybe I can’t fire you from the company, but you’re out of Achievement Hunter,” Geoff said coldly, his gaze as icy as his words.</p><p>With a lingering look at the other love of my life as he held his bruising cheek and stood in the parking lot alone, I climbed into the leather front passenger seat and slammed the car door shut, my vision blurred with tears of pure confusion. Why would he do this? Did he really expect me to believe that he had only been kissing her the exact second I’d burst in?</p><p>A tiny seed of doubt spoke in a small voice from the back of my mind, telling me that he had been the one to have his back against the wall and not her, and how his hands had been at his sides while hers had been on his chest. How his panic and his pleading had seemed genuine, like maybe there was more to this and I had seen the situation out of context.</p><p>But I ignored it and told it to shut up because my fucking god, my therapist had been right. And now as my heart ached painfully in my chest while Geoff drove me back to his place, saying absolutely nothing along the way in sheer anger, I realised that <em>I</em> wasn’t as angry as I maybe should have been. All I was was hopelessly hurt and broken and that, above all, made me feel truly pathetic.</p><p>And just like Doctor Honn had warned me, I didn’t know how to cope.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0083"><h2>83. Victorious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Geoff distracts you from your hurt because you need him to, but he does it in the sweetest ways.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Explicit Content Warning</b> - about halfway down</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I felt like my heart was breaking, as over dramatic as that may have sounded. Even while Geoff ushered Rex into his cage, I found myself walking towards his bedroom where I slid into bed fully dressed and made myself a duvet cave by pulling it right up over my head. Curling up into myself, I heard footsteps as the door creaked open and I realised Geoff had followed me in.</p><p>“Sweetheart, what can I do?” His voice was filled with anguish despite his prior anger at Ryan. “Tell me how I can help.”</p><p>I just sobbed in reply, so when I felt him lift the corner of the duvet and climb in with me, I immediately cuddled right up to him and wet his t-shirt with my tears while he embraced me tightly against him. I felt stupid, pathetic, not good enough and at the same time, vulnerable. Because I had trusted him not to hurt me like this and he goddamn had.</p><p>My phone buzzed to life in my jeans’ pocket but I ignored it the first time. When it rang again, I dug it out and blinked tearily at the bright screen before allowing it to go to voicemail. He didn’t leave one, but the text that followed made my chest tighten even more.</p><p>
  <em>‘Rex will be fine. He didn’t eat many pieces &amp; they’ll pass. We need to talk. Please ring me back. -R’</em>
</p><p><em>Hear him out, </em>said the tiny seed of doubt in the back of my mind. But I ignored it, too raw to talk to him right now.</p><p>We lay there for a while before Geoff finally pushed the duvet back and softly ran his hand through my hair in silence. Whether he didn’t know what to say or just couldn’t trust himself to speak, I wasn’t sure, but I was just grateful for his presence either way.</p><p>Realising with horrible clarity that this must have been how Ryan had felt when he saw me kissing Meg at the Christmas party, I winced. But then I pushed this aside, unable to deal with this new thought because what if he had liked kissing Laurie again and had realised how much he had missed her? What if she had been right and I really was just fun for him, somebody to screw when he was horny and his real feelings lay with her?</p><p>
  <em>That’s not true, he loves you. He got so raw with you in the past, he can’t possibly have feigned that. Besides, Laurie treats him badly and you know he resents that.</em>
</p><p>I had no idea what to believe any more and even as my crying slowed and eventually seized, I found that my ache was being replaced with an odd numbness. The only thing keeping me together was Geoff, still quiet and now stroking my bare arm as I lay there in t-shirt and jeans and he did too.</p><p>“He was so adamant that he wouldn’t go back to her.” My voice was gruff from crying, but he still understood me.</p><p>“He’d fuckin’ better not have done,” he replied, squeezing me. But this made me look up at him.</p><p>“You don’t think he has already?” I was surprised by his words because I had already been assuming it was a done deal. That not only had he gone back to her, but that he had probably cheated on me with her.</p><p>“I think he’s a motherfuckin’ idiot who kissed his ex and hurt you, but if he’s actually seeing her again I’ll fuckin’ kill him,” Geoff replied in a low voice, making it perfectly clear that he saw these were two different things.</p><p>Slowly, I realised he was right. I had jumped to the worst possible conclusions immediately, just as I had with Rex and just as I often did with other stuff in my life. Brace for the worst, be pleasantly surprised when better happens. It wasn’t an amazing philosophy, but it had gotten me through some tough times in the past.</p><p>“My shrink was right,” I said quietly as Geoff kissed the top of my head. “And so was my mom.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“I don’t know how to deal on my own when shit happens.” I sat up, using my palms to wipe my eyes roughly. “I run to you or Ryan and if I ever can’t do that, I’ll be fucked.”</p><p>I felt the mattress tip as he sat up behind me, bringing a hand to rest on my lower back.</p><p>“You’re ‘dealing’ just fine,” he assured me. “And this isn’t just ‘shit’ happening. This is major and I’m here for you.”</p><p>With wet eyes, I climbed out of the bed, straightening my t-shirt. “I need a distraction, Geoff. I need you to distract me from the horrible image of them kissing and every other stupid thought that’s filling my head.”</p><p>Geoff climbed off of the bed too, looking thoughtful for a mere few seconds before beckoning to me. “C’mon. I’ve got an idea.”</p><p>***</p><p>The local arcade was packed with it being a Sunday of course, but I didn’t mind as we weaved in and out of the crowds of people of all ages to find a free game. Both of us attempted to get a stuffed animal toy from the claw machines to no avail before turning our sights on a two-player laser-gun game. Rex was tied up just outside with a full water bowl, but we didn’t plan to leave him there for very long.</p><p>Geoff kicked my ass at it with a high score that put mine to shame, but what made that worth it for me was seeing how happy he was as he celebrated slightly gloatingly with a huge grin on his face. We hadn’t only come here for me to let loose, but for him to as well.</p><p>“Yeah yeah, you win,” I giggled, watching as he seized the tickets that were rightfully his streaming from the machine.</p><p>“Maybe if we play this fifty more times we might be able to afford an actual prize,” he laughed, referring dryly to how bad the exchange rate of tickets was to the price of items in the prize shop.</p><p>We wandered through a little further into the busy, noisy and bustling arcade and I noticed that Geoff was leading me straight over to the Air Hockey table by my hand. I couldn’t help but smile; he knew this was my favourite game here and it was finally freed up from its previous occupants.</p><p>Feeding the table some coins so it would release the playing puck and turn on the air jets, he grinned at me while I picked up the bright red striker and left him the blue one, knowing it was his favourite colour.</p><p>“Red Verses Blue, right?” I joked, referencing the very name of the animated show that had started his career. “You’re going down, Ramsey.”</p><p>I was intentionally forcing my mind off of anything else, getting into the zone and allowing the atmosphere of the room to take me someplace else. And now that I was faced with versing Geoff on something I was much better at, I was beginning to feel particularly competitive.</p><p>The game began and for a while, I was scoring repeatedly as I focused and let my reflexes do their best work. The rapid ‘tap’ of us both hitting the puck with plastic strikers echoing out through the huge room, drowned out occasionally only by someone using the claw machines nearby that would emit music and obnoxious noises.</p><p>The table was keeping count - the score was five-ten to me and since we had decided to play first-to-twenty, I was determined to win. But Geoff was looking devious and as he smiled across the table at me with his phone suddenly in his hand, I realised that he had remembered I was still wearing the small panty vibrator. And that he was about to switch it on.</p><p>On its lowest setting I could pretty much almost ignore it, though the sensation of the buzzing was certainly more pronounced by my tight jeans pressing it against me.</p><p>“Really, Geoff? Underhanded tactics in order to win? Tut, tut,” I pretended to scold him, but with a smile.</p><p>“I have no problem playing dirty,” he laughed, watching as I shuffled slightly on the balls of my feet. “It’s your serve, sexy.”</p><p>Shaking my head with a giggle, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Bring it on. I’ll still beat your ass even with this handicap.”</p><p>But with every couple of goals one way or the other, he turned up the vibration another notch and it was becoming increasingly difficult to simply ignore it as it teased, hidden from the world but causing me to breathe heavily as my cheeks pinked slightly.</p><p>Still determined as the score read eighteen-nineteen to me, I watched as he made the serve with the puck and I entirely missed blocking it, evening the score again. Gripping the edge of the table with my free hand, he seemed to take pity and cut the power to the vibrator completely.</p><p>“Last goal, level playing field,” he smirked with a wink as I pressed my knees together and bit my lip a little before repositioning my dominant hand on my striker. He was not going to win this, dammit. Even if I currently wanted to drag him to the nearest private place and beg him to fuck me stupid.</p><p>Now with no distractions in the way of vibrations, I fiercely batted the puck into the goal after a good thirty seconds of back-and-forth before finally, he failed to block it quickly enough. With a sigh and a grin, he watched as I collected the winning arcade tickets that were now feeding out of the table on my side.</p><p>“I guess you win,” he told me as I waltzed over to him, gloating a little because he had done it to me before.</p><p>“I guess I do,” I said lightly, stringing the ribbon of tickets around his neck, my expression wanton. “And I choose you as my prize.”</p><p>The second we were back through the door to his house ten minutes later and Rex was temporarily bustled into his cage, we came together like magnets. I was wet as hell and he was only making this worse as he backed me up against his living room wall, kissing and biting and breathing against my neck as his hands fumbled with pulling my shirt up and over my head before dropping to the button and zipper of my jeans while my movements mimicked his but with his clothes.</p><p>“Sofa,” I said breathlessly once we were both entirely naked. He nodded once before I pushed him down first, straddling him. He made a movement as though intending to reverse this, but I leaned forward and held him there, kissing his lips and teasing his hard dick with my crotch as I gently moved.</p><p>He relaxed with a groan, allowing me to call the shots for a few seconds as I continued to slowly grind, incredibly needy but wanting to draw this out. Because right now was amazing and I wasn’t thinking, I was just <em>feeling.</em></p><p>“Hey,” he spoke whilst gripping my thighs which were straddling him. “You’d better fuckin’ ride me now or I’m gonna have to fuckin’ throw you off me and take you how I want.”</p><p>And just like that the dynamic shifted back to him being in control, though I didn’t object in the slightest. With a grin, I kissed his lips once more before sitting up and angling my hips in order to take him in. Starting gently at first, I was soon slamming myself down on him in needy abandon while we both moaned. One of my hands was up both fondling and supporting my breasts as I tipped my head back and closed my eyes.</p><p>“Good fuckin’ girl,” he growled as my other hand slipped down to my clit to rub there, causing me to tighten up considerably on him as I continued to ride. “I wanna watch you come so hard for me.”</p><p>“I’m close,” I whimpered as the pressure built within me to the point where I knew I couldn’t have stopped it even if I’d wanted to. “Oh fuck, Geoff!”</p><p>His low groan as he came inside me threw me over too as a guttural noise left my mouth and electric waves of pleasure flowed through my body. When it subsided, I slid off of him and slightly shakily let out of a gentle moan of contentment as he sat up and pulled me into a deep kiss that I returned with passion.</p><p>My hands in his hair and our bodies still in heated contact, I felt as he encouraged me onto my feet and lead me to his second bathroom. I rarely came in here because his first had a shower and toilet, which was all I ever really used whilst I stayed here. This room however had a long bathtub in addition to a second shower and toilet and as he set the faucet running with hot water, I tilted my head.</p><p>“A bath? In the middle of the day?”</p><p>He shrugged. “Why not?” And as I perched on the seat of the toilet while he tipped in shimmering lavender-scented bubble bath liquid and tested the water temperature with his hand, I admired the way he was so intent on taking care of me.</p><p>“Let me take this off,” he offered, reaching to unfasten my choker and placing it on the side before he slid into the warm, steamy bath and sat down comfortably, parting his legs so that I could slip in too and sit back against him.</p><p>It was bliss. The scented bubbles drifted lazily on the surface of the water around us as we sank into a state of relaxation so deep it nearly sent me to sleep, though Geoff was in a playful mood as he scooped some of the foam up and gently patted some to my chin.</p><p>“Now you’re Santa!” he laughed, watching as I giggled and twisted a little to look at him with my new white bubble beard.</p><p>“Ho, ho, ho,” I grinned in my best impression of a low man’s voice before scooping some up and placing it in his hair before flattening off the top. “Nice hat, sailor.”</p><p>“Aye, ye be havin’ my thanks,” he chuckled, talking like a pirate as his anchor-tattooed hand wrapped its way around to my front where he stroked my abdomen beneath the water. I couldn’t help feeling like this ink was particularly fitting right now considering he was definitely being <em>my</em> anchor at the moment. “Pass the soap, me’ hearty.”</p><p>I leaned forward and did so with a wide grin, watching him lather his hands and then shift slightly to begin to massage my shoulders as I closed my eyes, totally at peace. We sat there and talked for a while until the water turned tepid and the bubbles had disappeared, prompting us to get out. Before I could do anything myself, I felt Geoff wrap one of his towels around my body. I clutched at it and began to dry myself as he did the same, the pair of us feeling thoroughly clean and calm. I put my choker back on.</p><p>“Can we watch something funny?” I requested as I picked my clothes up off of the living room floor and borrowed some of his deodorant before pulling them back on. I put my new damp panties in the wash basket minus the vibrator, which I sanitised and hid back in Geoff’s sock drawer before retrieving my normal panties from the bed to wear instead.</p><p>“Yeah,” he grinned as he released Rex from his confinement and watched as he hopped straight up onto the sofa. “Sorry boy, we had to put you in there for a bit.”</p><p>Sitting beside the dog and petting his light brown head as he attempted to lick my face, I giggled and switched on the television with the remote. “I think he forgives us.”</p><p>“Hope so,” Geoff replied as he flopped down beside me after grabbing us a glass of Coke each. “Either that or he understands that you got some and now he’s jealous.”</p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s been done, so I hope not.” My cheeks burned slightly because I realised that his doggie cage was just to the left of the couch and he had probably had full view of us having sex. Suddenly I was grateful that I’d been paying no attention because that might have been a little off-putting for me.</p><p>The front door opened at that moment as a voice rang out in greeting. Gavin was home and his timing could not have been better - had it been any earlier and he might have caught us in the act or in the bath. I raised my eyebrows silently at Geoff who seemed to feel this way also.</p><p>“Hey Gav!” I said brightly as he stepped through and removed his sunglasses.</p><p>“What’s up?” he smiled, striding over to the kitchen area to get himself a drink. “Geoff, I think I’m moving in with Meg.”</p><p>Beside me, Geoff blinked. “You are?”</p><p>“Yeah,” the Brit nodded, goofily grinning as he cracked open a soda. “It feels right. She’s…amazing. I want to move in with her and she asked.”</p><p>Mixed emotions crossed the older man’s face as he observed the lad while he plonked himself down on my other side and ruffled Rex’s head fur. I knew that Geoff was constantly making slights about Gavin living with him, but the truth was that they’d done so for years. Years of life progress, of changes, of experiences. And while some might compare Gavin to being like the son Geoff never had, Geoff preferred to see it like having a younger brother since he’d looked out for him as such but let him pave his own path.</p><p>Gavin had been around since Millie had been a baby, acting very much like she was his younger sibling as he had watched her grow up alongside her parents. He had supported Geoff with mutual friendship over the years, most of all when he and Griffon had gotten divorced despite of course having no experience of anything like that. And as much as Geoff would roll his eyes and mutter that Gavin was living ‘rent-free’ off of him and was always leaving his stuff everywhere whilst being ‘an annoying, jebby little prick’, I knew he would miss him when he was gone.</p><p>“Wow, big step,” I commented as Gavin shrugged a little. “Are you sure it’s not too soon?”</p><p>His eyes met mine then as Rex repositioned himself to lay across the lad’s lap with a yawn. “When you know it’s right…you just know. Anyway, what are we watching?”</p><p>“We hadn’t decided, actually,” I replied, flicking through the channels as I noticed that Geoff remained quiet.</p><p>“Did you…talk to…y’know…about the bet…?” Gavin stage-whispered to me as Geoff cast us a very amused glance.</p><p>“I actually forgot…but thanks for the reminder,” I grinned, turning the other way and placing a hand on my boyfriend’s chest. “Geoff…how would you like to wear my panties for a day?”</p><p>He snorted with laughter before clearing his throat and looking between us. “I know Gavin did it for a hundred bucks but I’m not fuckin’ doing it.”</p><p>I smiled alluringly, stroking my palm down south to right above his crotch. “Not even if I promise to do <em>anything </em>for you?”</p><p>“Even then, honestly,” he shook his head stubbornly, but he was still laughing.</p><p>I wasn’t giving up. “How about I don’t give you any sex until you do?” Impishly, I watched as he gasped.</p><p>“You cruel bitch,” he chuckled, pulling me into his arms as I giggled. “You wouldn’t do that…would you?”</p><p>“Maaaaybe,” I replied slowly. “You’d better just do it or else find out the hard way, Geoff. I mean it, I’ll wear my short red skirt to work without panties and everything, just to tease you, but I won’t let you touch.”</p><p>As though he was reading my levels of seriousness from the look on my face, Geoff’s blue eyes analysed me. “I’ll wear them for <em>one</em> hour. And not a fuckin’ thong, okay?”</p><p>“Come on, commit,” I grinned. “Six hours. That’s not even a whole work day.”</p><p>The pair of us had both almost forgotten that the lad sat beside us, frozen with curiosity as his cheeks flushed a bit at our sordid conversation.</p><p>“Two hours.” Geoff was firm in his stance, so I tilted my head. “And we tell nobody.”</p><p>“Three,” I pushed him, “and I’ll reward you at the end.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to make the terms in front of me,” Gavin mumbled, embarrassed but amused.</p><p>“Sorry,” I said sheepishly. “But hey, you’re gonna owe me that hundred bucks.”</p><p>“Hang on,” Geoff interrupted us. “This was your fuckin’ idea, Gav?”</p><p>“I thought it’d be funny,” the Brit shrugged. “But hey, if you’re not up to the challenge…”</p><p>“Fuck off, I’m doing it.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0084"><h2>84. Submission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. Ryan has a troubled past and reveals it to you, wishing he had done so sooner. He then springs a role-play on you that you both enjoy immensely.]</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>Please don’t read too much into fictional Laurie. It’s not a reflection of real life or my opinion on the real person.</i>
  <br/>
</p><p>
<b>Content Warning</b> - brief mentions of a very sensitive subject regarding pregnancy/birth complications<br/>
<b>Explicit Content Warning</b> - about halfway down</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Monday morning, I guiltily skipped my therapy session, unbeknown to Geoff. I couldn’t bear that she had been correct about my reliance and that now I was down a boyfriend, I didn’t know how to deal with the heartbreak on my own. Because the truth was that I longed for him. And then I felt irritated with myself for feeling this way.</p><p>I had slept at Geoff’s of course, but after he had kissed my lips and left hours ago to go to work, he had expected that I would go to my shrink appointment. But I hadn’t, choosing to spend longer in bed moping as my mind played all of the possibilities to the situation through. Geoff had been so insanely sweet and sexy to me yesterday, looking after my needs and wants as I tried to occupy my mind, but now I was totally alone and my thoughts were racing unpleasantly once again.</p><p>Breaking me out of my speculations, my phone rang out loudly as I was beginning to get dressed. With a sigh, I reached for it and watched as the display showed Ryan’s name. I let it ring for thirty seconds. Then it stopped.</p><p>
  <em>‘Please talk to me. -R’ </em>
</p><p>The new light of day had somewhat quelled the initial shock from yesterday but that didn’t mean I was suddenly feeling okay to speak to him, so I didn’t answer the text. Because of this, my phone then rang a second time.</p><p>Actively rolling my eyes now, I hesitantly hovered my thumb over ‘accept’ but I had no idea what I wanted to even say to him. Was he back with his ex-wife? Had my reaction only pushed him further into her arms? Was he going to tell me that actually he was going to find a new job and try to make his family work with her by his side?</p><p>No. I didn’t want to hear any of that. I didn't want to hear ‘I still love her’ and I didn’t want to hear ‘I need to try to make this work for my kids’. And I was entirely, uncomfortably aware that my insecurity was ringing louder in my ears than my cell and I loathed myself for it.</p><p>Once dressed I headed into the office via an Uber, steeling myself. I needed to be strong, to be professional and to get through making some videos with the crew and then finish up some other video edits that would no doubt be waiting for me. I managed alright even when Gavin had asked where Ryan was, to which Geoff had bluntly told him he was taking a personal day. Did that mean that Geoff was regretting having fired him? Or did that just mean he wasn’t planning on telling the other members of AH just yet?</p><p>Distraction had done me good just as it had yesterday, but as I made to walk home Geoff stopped me by linking his fingers through mine.</p><p>“Are you sure you want to go back to your flat tonight?” he asked, obviously concerned.</p><p>I’d nodded because for one thing, Geoff had Millie this week and I really couldn’t be chirpy right now and for another, I did actually miss my flat a little. Even now that it was vacant of my sister, it still contained all of my possessions and I really felt like ordering in junk food and losing myself in a good video game tonight by myself. So I trod the couple of flights of steps up to my tiny apartment’s floor and then stopped abruptly when I spotted my flat door down the hall because there was somebody sitting outside.</p><p>“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” I mumbled, trying to back up before he saw me, but it was too late.</p><p>“Thank fuck, I went to Geoff’s a while ago and you weren’t there,” Ryan said as he climbed to his feet. “We <em>really </em>need to talk. You haven’t been answering any of my calls or texts.”</p><p>Unlocking my door and trying not to look him in the eye for fear of just breaking into a fresh wave of tears, I irritably replied. “What did Geoff say to you?”</p><p>“That I should probably leave you alone,” Ryan shrugged a little. “And also that I’d better have a good reason for what happened. And I do. Can I come in?”</p><p>My front door was open now as I hovered in the doorway, wanting to scowl and tell him to fuck off. But I couldn’t. Not when he was standing right here in front of me and was looking so earnest that it was making me want to listen to him. His jaw had turned a little purple on one side in the wake of Geoff’s fist hitting it but I stifled the temptation to stroke it with the backs of my fingers.</p><p>“Fine, come in.” I stood aside as he did so, shutting the door behind him harder than I normally would have. He didn’t flinch, but he did tuck his hands into his pockets as though this might physically protect him if I decided to also wail on him out of anger.</p><p>Luckily I wasn’t the violent type.</p><p>“<em>She</em> kissed <em>me</em>,” he repeated, staring at me as I sat down on my sofa tiredly. He sat beside me, though I noticed that he left a small gap between us.</p><p>“You said that,” I replied dryly, kicking off my sneakers without unlacing them. “Are you back with her?”</p><p>“What? No!” his response was so filled with passion that I finally glanced at his face and was tempted to believe him. “She kissed me and I didn’t expect or want it. There are things I haven’t told you,” he went on while I looked away again.</p><p>“Great,” I said flatly and sarcastically, wondering what other secrets he had kept from me now.</p><p>“Years ago, when Laurie and I were still married and before the spark between us…fizzled out,” he said carefully, “we had a very…different relationship.”</p><p>“<em>We </em>have a very different relationship,” I pointed out. “What’s your point?”</p><p>“She…we were…” he seemed to be struggling to put into words what he’d so adamantly stormed over here to say. But I waited silently anyway, allowing myself to be tentatively patient. “We had a Dominant and submissive relationship a little like you and I, but way more extreme. I liked it in the beginning, but it went on for years too long.”</p><p>I frowned, confused, still not understanding where he was going with this. “Okay.” I brought my legs up onto the couch, crossing them to sit more comfortably.</p><p>“She got off on control to the point where it began to leak over into our normal lives and that’s where I stopped liking it so much. She began to start trying to dictate my schedule for me because it fit around hers, which was always more important. She told me when to take holiday from work, when and what we would eat - everything. She even took her time deliberating whether we would even move for my job when I interviewed to work for Rooster Teeth and if she’d said no, my opinion wouldn’t have mattered. I started to feel like <em>anything</em> I wanted didn’t matter. It ate away at my morale,” Ryan said quietly and I was hit with a stunning realisation.</p><p>He hadn’t been her Dom. <em>She </em>had been <em>his. </em>This man, who was so incredibly good at being so in control in the bedroom had had the situation totally flipped for years, submitting himself to whatever desires Laurie had wanted. And that might have been okay if it had remained within a boundary where they were both happy, but she had obviously taken it too far.</p><p>I remembered some of the phone conversations between the two of them in the past within the first few years of working with him. He had been so compliant with her, so very ‘yes dear’ and ‘no dear’ - a stark contrast to now. At the time I had thought it to be quite sweet, before I’d noticed how attractive he truly was and long before he had begun flirting with me casually.</p><p>“I won’t deny it - the sex was good. But everything else was getting on top of me because I had no goddamned freedom apart from when I was physically at work. Everything I was and did…was hers. And then…” his expression twisted into one of sorrow. “She got pregnant. Six years ago.”</p><p>I swallowed, though my mouth was dry. Eli was only three years old as their eldest child, so this pregnancy predated him.</p><p>“I was happy, despite her controlling aspect. I’d wanted a family with her. I thought she was the one ever since we met in high school. And if my submission to her in every aspect of my life was the price I had to pay for that, I was willing to pay it, at the time. Especially with a baby on the way.” Ryan cleared his throat, now being the one who couldn't look me in the eyes. He ran a hand back through his light hair slowly. “We bought everything in preparation, painted the spare room. We even had a custom baby outfit made for him because Laurie had already chosen his name.”</p><p>
  <em>Isaac. </em>
</p><p>I knew this already, but couldn't tell him I knew because it would involve admitting I’d gotten carried away looking around in a room I’d had no right to be in at his house. I’d discovered the small button up garment he was talking about tucked away in a box of baby paraphernalia, embroidered with the name in blue. I felt like I’d snooped, though I hadn’t done so maliciously but curiously, never expecting to find such an emotional piece of his history. And now as very real pain registered on his face, I felt myself sliding my hand atop his and squeezing gently, realising that I believed him and that I was going to forgive him.</p><p>“He…he….” Again Ryan cleared his throat, shaking his head. “He was stillborn. It changed her. It changed both of us.”</p><p>I nodded in supposed understanding, but with no way ever in a million years to possibly understand.</p><p>“We became more distant,” he went on. “Though she still came to me occasionally when she wanted sex. And I still desperately loved her. But that was when I began to take more notice of a life outside of her control. And that made me feel like an absolute pile of shit, because she was still grieving just like I was.”</p><p>“But…you…weren’t happy anyway,” I mumbled, trying to help him through this recount of his experience. “It’s tragic, what happened, and I’m so sorry…but…”</p><p>“But I wanted to leave anyway even before then,” he finished, finally meeting my eyes. His emotions were so raw right now that I felt like if I cuddled up to him he would fall apart in my arms. “And then she got pregnant with Eli and I…I really was genuinely happy again for a time. She mellowed when he was born because she was more tired, especially with moving up in her studies and job and I thought we could carry on, get past the intense hold she had had over me in the past. How could I leave her alone now with our newborn son? We were both so relieved Eli was healthy even though we still mourned. But I started to notice you around at the office more and more at that time.”</p><p>I allowed myself to give him a small smile.</p><p>“Laurie and I talked, we argued, we both made points over the coming years. But ultimately I could no longer bend to what she wanted because it had made me so miserable so I finally explained this to her. She promised to try to be better about it. I believed her because we had known each other and been together for decades and aside from that, I was still in love with her. So she fell pregnant with Olivia. As soon as I found that out, I was ecstatic at the concept of having a daughter as well as a son, but things went back downhill pretty quickly because Laurie didn’t mellow again this time. Instead she tried again and again to take back the grip she felt like she was slowly losing on me, which in turn only pushed me further away as I buried myself deeper in my work, the only escape from her I had. She didn’t like that I sometimes couldn’t be bothered to shave or even preferred to just have stubble for a change. She didn’t like when I started to lose weight either, because she liked me how I was. How I felt didn’t make any difference but she resented that I was changing and becoming more independent.” Ryan rubbed his face with his hands, as though exhausted. “I couldn’t deal with it. So we filed for divorce. She told me if she couldn’t have me the way she wanted, she didn’t want me at all. I think that was just something for her to spit at me spitefully though, I don’t think she meant it at all. She still loves me, I can tell.”</p><p>With no idea what the hell to say, I merely gawped at him slightly.</p><p>“I gave her too many chances already to change,” Ryan told me as I finally decided to shuffle over and drape an arm over his chest in mute forgiveness. “You don’t need to worry about me going back to her.”</p><p>My heart was thudding from how potently emotional he had clearly felt during the telling of his past, despite the fact that he wasn’t crying or anything of the sort. It was all in his eyes, tone and body language.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Ry-Ry,” I whispered, feeling like an idiot for not letting him speak yesterday right after the incident. “I should have trusted that you’d never do that to me. At least, not on purpose.”</p><p>“She’s been wanting me back because she seeks the same level of control again,” he sighed deeply. “Do you know what she said to me right before she kissed me yesterday? She said, ‘you know you miss me being in charge’. I don’t. There’s nothing wrong with Dom and sub relationships but she pushed me too far. And continued to push even when I wasn’t happy. And then carried on when I resisted. And on and on until I had no other choice but to get out. I don’t regret having my children, because I love them to death. But I can love them like that and not be with Laurie which is something I should have realised sooner.”</p><p>“Nobody should have to feel like that,” I replied, meaning it. Because no matter which way around the roles were, a Dom and sub relationship was about mutual respect, communication and consent at all times if I had learned anything. “I never feel like that with you and Geoff.”</p><p>“Good,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I upset you. Have you got any ice?”</p><p>With a glance at his chin, I smiled and fetched him an ice pack I had stored in my freezer. He reached out for it, but I shook my head and held it up to his face myself, kneeling beside him on the sofa as he winced at the cold shock. But after a moment, it was clear that it soothed.</p><p>Very gently, I leaned into him a little, still holding the ice pack in place but now with my lips by his face in affection and in my own way of apology. “What was your son’s name?”</p><p>“Isaac,” Ryan replied gruffly. “After Laurie’s grandpa. She always picked the names. She picked everything. I should really have told you all of this when you met her before Christmas. I just didn’t think she’d corner me like that. I thought we were done.”</p><p>I kissed his cheek gently, not seeking anything from him but instead just wanting to comfort him. “At least I know now. Is that why you’ve always been so domineering with me? Because you needed to be in the opposite role?”</p><p>Smiling for the first time while he’d been here, he pulled me down into his arms properly, holding me close while I dropped the ice pack in surprise. “Partially, because it was a way for me to channel my independence. And because you love it.”</p><p>With a grin now that I was sitting across his lap, I looped my arms around his neck and nodded.</p><p>His blue eyes glinted. “I like being in charge more, though who its with makes a big fucking difference. I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” I responded softly as he brushed my fringe out of my eyes affectionately while my phone buzzed incessantly. I slid it out of the pocket of my jeans and answered immediately after seeing ‘Geoff’ on the caller ID.</p><p><em>“You’re at your flat, right? Are you okay?” </em>Geoff immediately asked the second I picked up.</p><p>“I’m more than okay,” I smiled even though his voice sounded slightly strained. I put him on speakerphone. “Ryan came over and he explained everything. Trust me, we’re good.”</p><p><em>“Are you sure? Because I wasn’t fuckin’ joking, I will kill him if he ever does that again,” </em>Geoff persisted snappily.</p><p>“You’re on loudspeaker, Geoff,” I felt the need to point out. “He was telling the truth. Laurie forced herself on him.”</p><p>There was a lengthy pause. <em>“Alright, as long as you’re sure. Sleep well later, sweetheart, I’m here if you need me. And Ryan?”</em></p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>
  <em>“See you tomorrow at work, dickhead.”</em>
</p><p>With a measured chuckle and a slight bit of cheek, Ryan replied. “Sure thing, Boss.”</p><p>
  <em>“Ryan?”</em>
</p><p>“Yo.”</p><p><em>“Don’t fuckin’ call me that again, it’s fuckin’ weird,” </em>Geoff answered, clearly stifling a laugh before hanging up.</p><p>There was a pause between us after this as we simply gazed at one another.</p><p>“I thought I’d lost you. I really thought you weren’t going to believe me,” Ryan murmured.</p><p>But I knew without question that I did believe him, because the torment in his eyes as he had detailed his relationship with his ex-wife had been as real as the stars in the sky. And the scenario that had happened yesterday made sense in light of it, especially the fact that he hadn’t initiated or wanted the kiss. He had washed away my doubts with his honesty and I was taking a leap of faith.</p><p>“We’re okay,” I told him, kissing his cheek and watching relief spread over him as he relaxed somewhat.</p><p>After ordering Chinese food and hungrily stuffing our faces, Ryan and I sat contentedly playing on my Xbox for a little while until we felt less like beached whales that had eaten too much. He had returned to acting much like his usual dorky self during this, which was comforting.</p><p>I showered while he continued to play, thankful at how tonight had gone but also feeling a little sorry for Ryan as the warm water washed the day’s work away. Laurie hadn’t abused him physically maybe but she had definitely abused how much he’d loved her to get him to comply to everything, and it had gone on for years. Sure, he’d let her and forgiven her repeatedly, but in light of his explanation it hadn’t sounded like an easy situation to be in, especially once children were involved.</p><p>
  <em>Children.</em>
</p><p>And then I actually felt pity for Laurie too, because how can a person possibly go through losing something as precious as a child and come out the other side in one piece? I didn’t like that she had caused Ryan to be so miserable with something that had started out as kinky sex in the bedroom and had ultimately taken over his life, but I did admire her strength in dealing with such an extreme tragedy and continuing on.</p><p>It made me feel intensely lucky that I had him and Geoff, two men who would never stand by while I was miserable like that and who would fight to make me happy again, just as Geoff had yesterday and just as Ryan had in the past. I climbed out of the shower and wrapped my purple fluffy towel around myself, feeling fresh and like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Then I walked through to my living room/kitchen to find that Ryan wasn’t there. Thinking that he might be in the bedroom, I stepped through to find that he wasn’t here either.</p><p>Mystified because surely there was no way had he just left, I was about to turn back to investigate my tiny office room across the other side of my living room. But then I felt a pair of arms slide strongly around my waist and across the front of my shoulders respectively from behind. With a squeak I jumped a little in shock before recognising from his scent and touch that it was Ryan. I stood stock-still, breathing hard as my heart rate increased and hot tingles shot through me straight down south between my legs.</p><p>This was because he wasn’t just embracing me, but was also pressing the blunt side of one of my small silver kitchen knives to my throat lightly, definitely hard in his pants as he pressed his body against me from behind too.</p><p>I knew it was twisted, but just as we had role-played my being abducted recently for all three of our sexual pleasure, I was once again beginning to respond physically to this act of domination. And as soon as he leaned to whisper by my ear, I was already beginning to melt.</p><p>“Get on the fucking bed.”</p><p>We both knew it would be far more fun if I struggled playfully so I did, resisting without real conviction while he pushed me across my bedroom and threw me face-down onto my mattress. The towel around me had slipped and had abandoned my now-naked form as I rolled over to see him pulling off his shirt, undoing his jeans and then straddling me.</p><p>I pushed at his limbs in feigned protest as he held me fast, his eyes burning with desire and lust.</p><p>“Hold still or I’ll fucking cut your throat,” he growled, once again holding the dull side of the blade to my neck as I pretended to be afraid of him and froze, laying limply. This was one hell of a threat but I was still on-board, wanting him to be rough as I felt the material of his jeans brush against my thighs.</p><p>“Okay,” I breathed, my eyes wide. “Okay.”</p><p>Smirking, he leaned down and began to kiss my lips with a softness that leaked right through the role-play and contrasted with his words and other actions, as if he was silently telling me he would be careful but we were going to have some fun pretending not to know each other for a while. Then he whispered darkly, “I’m going to fuck you until you beg for mercy. Move and you’re dead, gorgeous.”</p><p>Eyes closing briefly with intense arousal, I gasped as he placed the knife on my nightstand and grabbed at something there that hadn’t been there before: my shoelaces. Had he really been unthreading them from my sneakers while I’d been in the shower? Obviously the answer was yes, because now he was tying my wrists above my head and to the bed-frame with them expertly.</p><p>Really deciding to get into character now, I batted my eyelashes. “How did you even get into my flat? Who the hell are you?”</p><p>Ryan ran a hand smoothly along my bare thigh before bringing his hand down in a hard slap. I twitched, gasping with pleasure at the sudden sting. “You left your front door unlocked. Not a good idea when you live alone. Especially when you look like <em>this.” </em>He trailed his fingers up to my left nipple, pinching it and rolling it between his fingers until I squirmed while he watched my face.</p><p>“Please don’t kill me,” I whimpered quietly.</p><p>Running his hand back down between my legs where I was unsurprisingly incredibly wet for him, he cocked an eyebrow. “If you do as I say, you won’t get hurt. Much.”</p><p>I drew breath sharply because he had just landed a slap directly on my crotch, causing another sting that reached my clit but still somehow felt good in the wake of the brief pain.</p><p>“Stop it, dammit!” I whined, not meaning it and he knew it. If I’d really meant it, I would have used our safe word. And I had no plan to use that at all.</p><p>“Shut up.” He slapped my pussy yet again, sending a wave of electric through me as I writhed slightly before I felt him slide two of his fingers into me.</p><p>“Nooo…” I moaned in weak resistance as he moved them with increasing speed, using his thumb on my clit simultaneously and bringing me shamefully quickly to the edge of my orgasm. Which was when he stopped.</p><p>“I thought you said ‘no’, bitch, so I stopped,” he smirked, pulling his fingers out and meeting my eyes as he shuffled out of his jeans. “What’s the matter, can’t decide what you want?”</p><p>“I don’t want you,” I pouted insolently, mock-struggling yet again as he rid himself of his boxers too before straddling me once more. My eyes dropped down to his hard cock before he leaned forward a little, wrapped a hand around my throat and pressed.</p><p>“You don’t have a fucking choice,” he replied, partially cutting off my airway as I made a small choking noise. “You’re gonna open your legs and you’re gonna fucking take me until I decide I’m done, do you understand, slut?”</p><p>“Yes,” I rasped, incredibly turned on by how good at acting he was and hoping that I was doing a good job at it in return. He released my neck enough for me to speak properly again so I played up to the fantasy. “What’s your name?”</p><p>With a low chuckle, he bit his lower lip and stared at me for a couple of seconds with such lust that I nearly burned beneath his gaze. “Ryan. And you’d better fucking scream it.”</p><p>So hot for him it ached, I shook my head, pretending to be all of the things I wasn’t - scared, opposed, not aroused. But we both knew the truth.</p><p>“No, don’t, please,” I whimpered as he lifted my legs up and apart for me even as I continued to squirm. And then he slid into me and was fucking me so hard I could barely breathe as I heard him groan a little.</p><p>“Fucking take it,” he ordered as I lost all will to even playfully resist. “You-sexy-little-slut.”</p><p>With each thrust, his words caused me to tip my head back in pleasure as he claimed me in the most primal way while I lay helplessly open to him, so eager and so submissive. I couldn’t help it when I finally allowed myself to moan, causing him to slow his pace slightly in order to taunt me in apparent victory.</p><p>“You fucking love this, don’t lie to me,” he growled, slapping my thigh hard again as he leaned forward a little.</p><p>“I…don’t…” I was lost, because it felt too good and he was being so perfect in his role. I pulled a little against the laces binding my wrists as if to try to be more convincing, but he just smirked at me.</p><p>“Fucking liar…” His eyes roamed my body. “D’you want me to free you, princess?”</p><p>A fresh spike of arousal at this new nickname shot through me, especially since he was talking with such a dark, dirty lilt to his voice while he played the part of a psychopath having his way with me before he might or might not kill me.</p><p>I could only nod in reply, not trusting myself with words right now. Surprising me, he leaned across for the the knife on the nightstand and cut my bindings.</p><p>“There. Now, get on your knees on the floor like a good slut before I’ve finished counting to five or you won’t see the outside of this room ever again. And we both know I’m stronger than you, so don’t try anything.”</p><p>Hurriedly while he counted aloud softly, I did as I was told because I wanted what I knew was coming next - his dick in my mouth. But he bent down to cup my chin with his hand first after reaching ‘four’ and seizing to count, his eyes glinting with desire and his voice low.</p><p>“If you <em>dare </em>bite me…”</p><p>“I won’t, I promise, I swear,” I replied quickly, shaking my head as much as I could while he held my chin.</p><p>So he stood up once more, tugging my head back by my hair and instructing me to open up even as I did so anyway, taking him into my mouth and feeling him begin to fuck me there while I tasted myself, taking his pleasure from me as I willingly gave it. Several times he purposefully choked me as usual, his dick filling and obscuring part of my throat while I worked on not gagging. He was more brutal with it than ever before with longer stints of blocking my airway and shorter gaps in between, leaving me gasping for oxygen repeatedly as he groaned in gratification, but I had kind of expected this. Wanted it, even.</p><p>“There’s a good little cock-sucking slut,” he sighed, finally easing up on me as I panted and swallowed, blinking up at him breathlessly. “Get up.”</p><p>As soon as I was on my feet again, he bent me over the edge of the bed with only a small amount of force required because I was totally complicit once I understood what he was doing. Assuming he was going to slam back into me from behind, I readied myself and gripped the duvet but instead, I felt his mouth there as his tongue laved gently at my soaked pussy and clit.</p><p>“Holy fuck you’re wet,” he murmured in approval, using his hands to spread me and give him better access. “Does a guy breaking into your apartment and taking you by force get you all hot, huh? D’you know how fucked up that is?”</p><p>I felt him bring his palm down on my ass hard even as he continued to lick at my clit, causing me to moan with both the pain and the pleasure at once while my eyes closed in absolute bliss. “Mmmm, I know.”</p><p>“Goddamn you enjoy being used,” he responded as I felt him stand up again.</p><p>We both knew these words were true only because I trusted and loved him so much. Still, it played nicely into the fantasy we had going.</p><p>“Will you let me go if I let you use me more?” I asked, sounding purposefully meek. “Please?”</p><p>I felt him stroke my ass cheeks before he pushed his cock back into my pussy hard, making me groan at the sudden intrusion that felt so incredible. “We'll see, princess. You <em>are</em> kinda cute.” And with that he began to plough me again, harder and faster until he filled me with his release, his breathy low moans mingling with him panting my name.</p><p>“Lay on your back,” he smiled, watching as I did so. His voice had softened a tiny bit as he pinned my thighs apart with his forearms, meeting my eyes with his whilst leaning down to flick his tongue across my clit and around it.</p><p>Immediately I wanted to arch, the intense concentrated pleasure pushing me closer and closer as he held me fast, not wanting me to move and just to absorb the feeling.</p><p>“Ryan- oh god- oh fuck- please-“</p><p>“Scream for me,” he smirked, pausing only long enough to say this before resuming working his mouth on me while I gladly obeyed, his name coming from my lips in a shriek before I squirmed as much as I could under his hold and my orgasm tore through me.</p><p>With me finally going limp as he crawled up to lay beside me, I felt him tuck an arm under my back in order to pull me sideways, closer to him. I snuggled gratefully, adoring him and feeling so grateful that he hadn’t done what I thought he’d done in hurting me. So grateful that I still had him. So grateful that I was his.</p><p>“Princess, hm?” I asked after a few minutes of us laying totally relaxed as we cooled off. “You play hot psycho killer way too well.”</p><p>He laughed softly, stroking a hand through my hair and down my side as he gazed at me with eyes full of affection now. “It really wasn’t that difficult.”</p><p>I stifled a snort of laughter because even in context, this sounded far more sinister than he had meant it. He seemed to realise this too and chuckled.</p><p>“I’m not saying that being a psycho killer comes naturally to me,” he clarified with amusement.</p><p>“Only in video games,” I smiled, running my hand along his chest gently. “Although maybe some of it translated a little bit. Jesus, the threat to ‘cut my throat’?”</p><p>“You’re okay though, right?” he inquired with a grin, pulling the duvet up over us as we cuddled. “Because you really seemed to like all that.”</p><p>“I’m as good as Frosted Flakes, Ry.”</p><p>“So…’grrrr-eat’? You’re a dork,” he nudged me playfully.</p><p>“You’re the one who got the reference,” I smirked, nudging him back. “And you even did the tiger thing. Now who’s the dork?”</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0085"><h2>85. Jealous</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[Reader-insert, you are Y/N (= your name). You have been part of AH since nearly day 1. It’s early 2015. You’re fed up and decide to confront Laurie against Ryan’s advice.]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>My feet were cold. The beach was sprawling and lit only by the fading sun, the sky painted with watercolour hues of pink and gold. I wrapped my sheer sarong around me a little more tightly, watching contently as the foamy waves lapped at my toes and occasionally enveloped my feet entirely before receding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then I felt a sense of calm wash through me as the breeze whispered against my skin, caressing it almost sensually as I closed my eyes and let a small moan issue from my lips. It wasn’t one of sexual pleasure so much as serenity, because right here I was at peace and I wanted to stay. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re beautiful,” spoke a masculine voice as I glanced sideways to see Ryan standing a few feet away from me, wearing long black swim shorts. He approached with his hands in his pockets, barefoot in the sand and leaving footprints.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Without hesitation, I slid my arms up and around his neck, gazing up at him as he observed me. “And you’re gorgeous.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt his hands slide over my hips, stroking the tops of my bare thighs just below. A pleasant shiver from being so close to him reverberated through me even as the sun’s warmth warmed my skin, but the sea was restless and the more his hands roamed my skin gently, the further out of my nice dream bubble I drifted. </em>
</p><p>Somehow, I was roused from sleep and my pleasant dream to realise that it must be morning. Before I had even opened my eyes, I felt Ryan’s fingers glide over my bare torso softly. I cracked open my eyes to see him beside me propped up on his elbow, watching me sleep with a hint of a smile on his face. The sheets had been pushed down to my waist - possibly by me whilst asleep, though it was just as probable that he had done this himself - and I had to wonder how long he had been staring.</p><p>“I was having such a good dream,” I mumbled, reaching up to stretch, still on my back. “We were on a beach. I want to go back there.”</p><p>Ryan cocked an eyebrow before smoothing his palm over my abdomen. “Maybe we should take another trip to somewhere coastal together.”</p><p>“That would be really nice,” I smiled, musing over the possible locations.</p><p>“You moan in your sleep.” His eyes held both humour and desire as he continued to stroke my skin. “What happened on that dream beach?”</p><p>I grinned, rubbing my eyes. “Nothing dirty. What time is it?”</p><p>“Seven-twenty,” he replied, running a hand back through his mussed up hair to tidy it. “You have messages, by the way. Your phone kept lighting up.”</p><p>Reaching sideways for my cell that was placed right next to the kitchen knife we had role-played with last night, I practically felt his eyes trail down my back to my ass before I lay back down again and blinked at my phone screen. With a guilty jolt in my stomach, I realised the message was from Doctor Honn, acknowledging that I had missed my therapy appointment yesterday. Quickly, I exited the app before Ryan saw and checked my Twitter feed instead.</p><p>“You owe me a new set of shoelaces,” I remarked, because last night he had quickly cut me free rather than take longer to untie them.</p><p>With a chuckle, he nodded. “I know, I’ll buy you some. Geoff Slack’d me late last night.” He moved to lay back down properly as he too stretched with a yawn.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Said that he wanted to talk to me privately when I get to the office,” Ryan continued, his voice casual as though this didn’t worry him in the slightest.</p><p>I placed my phone back on my nightstand and leaned in to cuddle up to him. “Do you think it’s about the fact he fired you?”</p><p>“I’m not fired,” he shook his head, saying aloud what we both knew. “I’m going into work today like normal. He’ll change his mind but I’m sure he’s got some shit to say first.”</p><p>Nodding, I didn’t doubt this. Considering Geoff had seen firsthand how upset I had been, he was unlikely to let Sunday’s incident go without comment and if chewing Ryan out privately for a few minutes before things returned to normal was how he was going to feel better about it, fair enough. I had already accepted Ryan’s apology and had forgiven him with the understanding that Laurie was simply making an unwarranted play to regain her control over him, but Geoff hadn’t been present for any of the explanation that had provided this context - all he knew was that Ryan had supposedly had a good excuse and that I trusted him, so I didn’t blame him for wanting words with the man himself.</p><p>“Are you gonna tell him what you told me?” I asked curiously.</p><p>There was a pause before he replied as I felt him tense slightly. “Not in so much detail but yeah.”</p><p>I thought about Sunday and how distraught I had been until Geoff had managed to distract me by sweetly taking me to the arcade and for a moment, I held my breath as I remembered exactly how it had cut me to think I had been both betrayed and abandoned by someone I loved so dearly. I sat upright restlessly.</p><p>“I need to talk to her,” I said, throwing the duvet off of me and sliding out of bed.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Laurie,” I replied, reaching for my panties and pulling them on before doing the same for my bra.</p><p>“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Ryan’s face was creased with concern now as he watched me get dressed.</p><p>I shook my head in disagreement. “I actually think it’s a great idea. I need to clear the air between us and make it crystal clear that you’re with me, not her. Also that if she wants you back she’s gonna have to fight me.” I balled my fists for a second before grabbing my hairbrush to neaten my hair. I hadn’t meant literally of course.</p><p>“Now? At seven-thirty in the morning?”</p><p>“Yes. You know where she lives, so let’s go.”</p><p>“Whoa, whoa.” Ryan sat up too now, the duvet sliding down off of his chest to pool in his lap. “You can’t just go in hot and rant.”</p><p>“Like hell I can’t,” I replied sassily, smoothly applying eyeliner now. “We’re going to drop by her place, you can say hi to your kids and I can talk to your ex-wife for a few minutes before work.”</p><p>“We’ll never make it, she drops them by the daycare at eight on Tuesdays,” Ryan sighed.</p><p>Pausing, I folded my arms. “Then <em>you</em> can drop them by the daycare while I talk to her.” I headed into my bathroom to clean my teeth and picked up my jeans on the way there.</p><p>“And leave you alone with her? No way,” he called to me, knowing I was far too stubborn to relent and resorting to a compromise. “I’ll take them to daycare but I’m staying until you leave too.”</p><p>I rolled my eyes before reminding myself that it wasn’t Ryan that had made me feel like I had on Sunday afternoon, it was Laurie. And the only way we could truly get past this was by confronting her, seeing just exactly what her problem was and standing up for myself.</p><p>“D’you wanna maybe ask her if she wants to meet you somewhere nearby for a coffee before work or something instead?” Ryan asked tentatively as I heard the sound of him zipping up his jeans. “You guys can talk and…there will be people around. Witnesses.”</p><p>Stifling a laugh as I realised that he was probably picturing a literal physical catfight, I picked up my bag. “No, because she won’t come if I do that. I’m not actually going to launch myself at her, y’know.”</p><p>“Why are you so determined to talk to her all of a sudden?” he sighed, walking through from my bedroom shirtless as I pulled my red t-shirt on and rummaging through my cupboards for cereal.</p><p>My eyes unwittingly slid down his half-naked form before I cleared my throat and looked away, wanting to stay focused. “Because she’s being totally unreasonable and has me pegged up as some kinda hoebag that’s only with you for surface reasons. And it’s pissing me off.”</p><p>Piercing me with an inquisitive look, Ryan shoved his hand into a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and began to eat it dry, taking care not to drop crumbs all over my kitchen floor. Even standing sleepily in the kitchen munching on cereal sans milk or bowl, I wanted to take his hand and lead him back to my bed because he was looking pretty good lately - not that that had ever made a difference to how sexy I found him. But the time window for having any kind of conversation with Laurie was closing fast.</p><p>“Could you please put a shirt on?” I sighed, reaching to take the cereal box when he offered it to me with a playful smile. The irony that my current priority was talking to his ex-wife who basically hated me over just having a luxury shared shower with this gorgeous man was not lost on me.</p><p>“Sure, if you want,” he shrugged, walking off to find it after he’d shed it during last night’s fun.</p><p>If only there was a way that I could have frozen time for maybe half an hour, I would have followed him in there. As it was I remained by my kitchen counter, tapping my foot a little impatiently while he used the bathroom too before finally appearing to be ready.</p><p>The drive was a short one from my apartment; when they had gotten divorced, Ryan had kept the family house out of town while Laurie had moved to be closer to her veterinary practice more centrally in Austin. I hadn’t known where she lived before now but as Ryan pulled the car up by a block of flats ten minutes away, I realised just how relatively close she had been to me this whole time.</p><p>“This is a bad idea,” Ryan mumbled as we climbed out of the car and he locked it up, apprehension clear in his body language. “I’m going on record saying this is a bad idea.”</p><p>I pursed my lips. “It needs to happen anyway. I intend to be civil, don’t worry.”</p><p>It took Laurie an entire minute to get to the door after we knocked; the sounds of children within were emanating loudly as I heard her talking to them and the clinking of cutlery against ceramic. Ryan shuffled beside me, visibly uncomfortable.</p><p>Then the door swung open and in fresh mint green scrubs with her red hair tied neatly into a ponytail, she raised her eyebrows upon seeing us. Despite looking so casual and with minimal eye makeup on apart from her usual dark red lipstick, she was beautiful. I forced myself to remember that beneath her girl-next-door exterior was a less than nice person.</p><p>“Don’t you have work?” she asked Ryan, confused as she moved aside to let him pass. She seemed to be allowing me to enter too, which I did as my nerves spiked because she wasn’t acknowledging me. I had been so ready to face this woman mere minutes ago, but now that I was here I was suddenly feeling <em>way</em> out of my depth and it was making it worse that she hadn’t even looked my way.</p><p>The apartment was much bigger than either Hanna’s or mine which came as no surprise considering the fact that the block of flats was clearly far more upmarket. It was fairly open-plan but the living room, kitchen and dining rooms were only separated by archways with no doors in sight apart from the ones leading to presumably the bedrooms and bathroom down the hall. The floor was a dark hard wood with big shaggy cream rugs laid down to make the place a little more homey. A large colourful foldaway playpen much like the one Ryan had at his house was set up near the television with toys littered all over within it while a tall bookcase was neatly-organised in the corner, its very top shelf reserved for picture frames mostly of people I didn’t recognise.</p><p>“I…I need to talk to you,” I said after a moment of gathering my courage. I recalled a time when I hadn’t thought she had had a bad bone in her body - before I had gotten involved with Ryan seriously, I had met her once and perceived her to be kind and genuine, which made me question how good a judge of character I actually was.</p><p>“I’m a little busy at the moment, I need to be at the clinic soon,” she answered in an off-hand sort of way as my eyes drifted over to Ryan who had taken over the spoon-feeding of eleven month-old Olivia in her high chair while three year-old Eli grabbed at his arm for attention in the next room. I dragged my attention back to Laurie, who was now searching through her purse in the kitchen area near the huge stainless steel double-doored refrigerator.</p><p>“I know. It’s about Sunday.” I folded my arms in an effort to feel more confident, even though she wasn’t focused on me right now. “That can’t happen again. Ever.”</p><p>“Sure, okay,” she replied dismissively before raising her voice. “Ryan, now you’re here, you can drop them off at daycare right? I’m running late.”</p><p>I frowned as Ryan called back ‘sure’. She was acting like I wasn’t here and I was not taking kindly to it. As my awkwardness faded into irritation, I finally snapped. “<em>Laurie.</em>”</p><p>Abruptly, she stared at me with her forest-green eyes, perhaps surprised that I was daring to raise my voice to her. My suspicions were confirmed when she sighed slightly, but her piercing gaze had made my heart jump into my throat.</p><p>“You have no idea the kind of relationship Ryan and I had,” she said quietly, though I could tell there was an undercurrent of annoyance in her tone.</p><p>“Actually I do,” I shot back with more assertiveness than I felt like I currently had. “You were incredibly controlling towards him which is ironic considering when we met back in December, you told me it was the other way around and that <em>he </em>was the controlling one. We talked about it after you kissed him the other day though and I’m more inclined to believe him.” I didn’t mention that we had spent a very unhappy day apart; she didn’t need to know what effect she’d had on me.</p><p>She actually laughed a little then, glancing across at Ryan while he distractedly tended to their kids in the dining room. “Is that what he told you?”</p><p>My fists clenched even as my arms remained crossed across my chest. “Don’t do that. Don’t do the whole manipulative thing to make me doubt what he said. I saw the pain there, he was genuinely miserable with you.”</p><p>Laurie rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “He didn’t seem very miserable when he was fucking me.”</p><p>Trying not to flinch at her candidness, I too glanced across at the dining table through the doorless arch into the next room, but neither child seemed to be paying us any attention and I was pretty sure Ryan couldn’t hear us because we were talking so quietly.</p><p>“That doesn’t mean anything,” I retorted, digging my fingernails into my own palms. “My point is that he’s not getting back with you because he’s with me and if you think otherwise, I’m here to correct you.”</p><p>For a moment, Laurie merely looked at me appraisingly. Then she took a step closer, which I hadn’t expected. I froze; she was more-or-less the same height as me but currently that didn’t matter because even if I’d been several inches taller it wouldn’t have made her seem any less intimidating to me.</p><p>“You’re naive,” she said in a low voice. “He craves being dominated.”</p><p>“No.” I licked my dry lips, holding my nerve. “He doesn’t. He prefers to <em>be</em> dominant. And if he’s gonna do anything, it’s gonna be with me.”</p><p>A slow smile spread across her velvety red lips, reminding me horribly of the one she had given me after I had caught her kissing him the other day. “Oh I’d already figured that out, especially with you wearing this. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you submit to him; you’re his little experiment.” She gestured to my thin black leather choker as she spoke. “He and I had a similar system, though he wore the scratch marks from my nails instead.”</p><p>Metaphorically I dug my heels in even as I felt my cheeks burn, because I’d known already that it turned him on to be scratched like that. I forced myself to continue to look her in the eye. “I’m not a fucking phase, Laurie, he loves me.”</p><p>“I’m sure he does,” she said in a low voice as she took another step towards me, “when you get on your knees for him.”</p><p>Anger erupted from me even as I backed up to give myself space from her, because how <em>dare </em>she downplay how much we cared about one another?</p><p>“You’re so goddamn jealous that you can’t even get past the fact that he’s fallen for someone else,” I threw my hands up frustratedly. “You’re stuck in the mindset that because you were together for so long that he’ll eventually come back to you. Guess what Laurie? He’s not going to!”</p><p>“He will because he can’t resist,” she replied with such certainty that I had to wonder at this point if she was actually deluded. “Do you really think that was the only kiss we’ve had since we got divorced?”</p><p>My stomach lurched, but I ignored it. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of believing anything she said to drive a wedge between Ryan and I again. “Don’t lie about shit like that.”</p><p>She had backed me up so far into her living room that neither Ryan nor their children could see us now, but I was beginning to feel slightly physically trapped too as she eyed me like a lioness examining her competition. Or possibly, her prey.</p><p>“I’m not lying in the slightest,” she smiled. “This is not a game, [Y/N]. You know as well as I do that he left me because he saw you flitting around the office and wanted some. Enjoy him while you can, because he’s going to want me back really soon.”</p><p>I gritted my teeth. “You’ve got some nerve. That’s not why you two got divorced.” I scrambled to remember what Ryan had told me the reason was and what Geoff had revealed to me upon asking about how they’d decided to approach me with their proposal of polyamory. “He didn’t even approach me until about six months after you two finalised the divorce.”</p><p>This seemed to throw her because she frowned a little. “It took him six months to actually finally tell you he wanted to screw you? Jesus. I knew about his crush on you months before we even separated. He would mention you in passing and refer to you as someone he was attracted to in an attempt to flaunt his future at me. I kept telling him you’d never be able to give him what I did.”</p><p>Now it was my turn to be smug, because I knew categorically that I gave him far more than she had by the sounds of it and not just sexually. I gave him happiness, I gave him passion, I gave him the feeling of being loved, of having freedom, of contentment, of feeling valued. His self confidence had never been through the floor as long as I had known him but it had certainly positively increased since his divorce, which in my opinion spoke volumes about his state of mind whilst he had been with this woman.</p><p>“Laurie, stop it.” Behind her now was Ryan with his blonde daughter in his arms as he gazed at the both of us. He would have looked more like he was trying to take charge of the situation if it weren’t for Eli, who had wrapped his arms around his dad’s leg and was whining for a cuddle and Olivia, who had leaned to rest her head on her dad’s shoulder adorably whilst he supported her.</p><p>Laurie turned towards him as I stepped smartly over to the window so that she wasn’t quite so close to me.</p><p>“I’ve told you before,” Ryan replied more softly than I would have liked after the way she had just been speaking to me, but perhaps that was because their children were both present and he didn’t want to scare them. “We’re not getting back together and you have gotta deal with that.”</p><p>I wondered how much of our conversation he had heard as I watched the two of them appear to square up to one another despite the vast difference in height, with Ryan gazing coldly and Laurie frowning slightly.</p><p>“The diaper bag is ready on the floor through there,” Laurie finally said in a flat voice, pointing towards the kitchen as she turned away from him to encourage Eli to put on his shoes. The small light-haired boy giggled and complied, totally unaware of the tension in the room.</p><p>Ryan glanced at me but said nothing as he subtly swayed back and forth with Livvy in his arms, soothing her as she clutched at his shirt with her tiny fist while he eyed Eli running back through energetically, now with two shoes on and seemingly ready to take on the world.</p><p>“Come on, we’ve got to get you two outta here, Mommy’s got work,” he smiled, his irritation melting away as Eli reached for his hand. “Can you grab the bag, [Y/N]?”</p><p>“Sure,” I replied with a smile as I hung it over my shoulder and opened the apartment’s front door for him while he walked and carried his two kids.</p><p>“Bye Livvy, bye Eli! Mommy loves you both okay?” Her voice was light and soft but instantly changed when she addressed her ex-husband beside me. “Pick them up later, Ryan. I’m working late.”</p><p>“Sure,” he replied emotionlessly as she closed her flat door behind us.</p><p>I took a few deep breaths of calm that I hadn’t known I’d needed until now as we all meandered over to the elevator.</p><p>“You okay?” Ryan asked, glancing my way as we all stepped in and upon being prompted, Eli pressed the ‘1’ button.</p><p>“She said a bunch of things that weren’t true and told me I’m trash, but yeah, I’m good,” I replied, sighing. “I don’t think that actually fixed anything.”</p><p>“You’re not trash,” Eli grinned as he took me literally like most children tended to do, his big blue eyes fixed on me. “You’re people.”</p><p>“That’s right,” Ryan praised him with an amused smile.</p><p>Unable to help myself after the nervous and tense atmosphere of Laurie’s flat, I burst into giggles at the boy’s adorable innocence. “Thank you, Eli. And thank you Ryan.”</p><p>“His name’s not Ryan!” Eli protested as we stepped out of the elevator and exited the building, heading over to the car. “It’s Daddy! Tell her, Daddy!”</p><p>There was a strange couple of seconds while I held my breath and side-eyed Ryan, knowing that he was awkward about the use of this word between us outside of the bedroom because then it was reserved <em>only</em> for his children in a totally different context. Truth be told, now that I was in the presence of the three of them and my man was in full Dad-mode, I understood this awkwardness.</p><p>“Well, [Y/N] doesn’t call me Daddy because she has her own Daddy,” Ryan replied directly to Eli without looking at me, I noticed. He opened the back car door and began to strap Olivia into her carseat.</p><p>“Oh,” Eli mused, his little three year-old mind obviously whirring. “Who is he?”</p><p>With a slightly tight smile, I responded to him honestly as I opened the car’s other back door and watched as he attempted to climb in to sit in his own, slightly more grown-up carseat while I assisted him. “He’s not a very good daddy, Eli. Your daddy is way better. You’re very lucky.”</p><p>Already distracted from our conversation with the short attention span typical of a child his age, Eli reached for the stuffed patchwork elephant toy that was beside him in the middle seat and began to wave it in front of his sister. Olivia reached her arms up for the colourful plush with her mouth open as Ryan clicked her carseat straps into place securely, but our eyes met across the back of the car.</p><p>He was smiling at me with such adoration that I felt myself grin back sheepishly, not sure how to react. There was seemingly no tension left in his body as he moved around the car to make sure that his other child was also belted in properly while I seated myself in the front and as soon as Ryan was beside me in the driver’s seat, he covered my hand with his as he looked at me for a moment. His thumb stroked across my knuckles gently and he said nothing before drawing away and starting the engine, but no words were needed. His face said it all.</p><p>
  <em>‘I’m lucky to have you too.’</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Insight Time: Fictional Laurie is a very different person than real Laurie, obviously. I know what she really looks like and she’s probably lovely IRL, but for the purposes of my fic I’ve been imagining her to look a lot like Addison Shepherd from Grey’s Anatomy this whole time, but a little shorter. This makes it much easier for me to spin her personality <i>very</i> differently for the fic. Ironically she is the only person I do this with as everyone else I imagine as they are.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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